1 00:00:06,333 --> 00:00:08,283 Previously, on In Treatment... 2 00:00:09,139 --> 00:00:12,589 You said that ending the therapy was the best good solution. 3 00:00:12,852 --> 00:00:15,384 I said it might be necessary for her sake. 4 00:00:15,646 --> 00:00:19,651 When you say "good solution," I think you mean a solution to your problems. 5 00:00:19,833 --> 00:00:22,486 Alex, the fighter pilot, met Laura. 6 00:00:22,646 --> 00:00:26,646 So he comes back the next afternoon, tells me that they met and now... 7 00:00:28,148 --> 00:00:29,798 And now they're dating. 8 00:00:31,167 --> 00:00:32,651 You want me to talk about Laura? 9 00:00:32,913 --> 00:00:36,113 What do you want me to say? That I sit opposite her and say, "What if?" 10 00:00:37,770 --> 00:00:38,741 Well, I do. 11 00:00:52,552 --> 00:00:54,229 Sorry I'm late. I was... 12 00:00:54,743 --> 00:00:56,526 I was at the market. 13 00:00:56,686 --> 00:00:59,954 Listen, would you mind putting these in the fridge for me, please? 14 00:01:00,114 --> 00:01:01,253 Fish heads. 15 00:01:02,350 --> 00:01:03,800 They're fish heads? 16 00:01:05,096 --> 00:01:07,002 Yeah, I'm making some chowder. 17 00:01:08,742 --> 00:01:11,197 - Fish heads for... yeah. - Thanks. 18 00:01:15,570 --> 00:01:18,027 Season 1, Episode 20. 19 00:01:18,827 --> 00:01:21,320 Sync by Anyone, Coffee, Tagne. 20 00:01:22,116 --> 00:01:24,579 www.swsub.com 21 00:01:35,627 --> 00:01:37,007 I really like your dress. 22 00:01:38,790 --> 00:01:39,828 Thank you. 23 00:01:41,031 --> 00:01:43,389 And your hair looks different. 24 00:01:45,611 --> 00:01:48,727 - You look great, Gina. - That's good of you to say that. 25 00:01:49,949 --> 00:01:52,439 Makes you look, I don't know, softer somehow. 26 00:01:53,574 --> 00:01:54,924 Special occasion? 27 00:01:55,576 --> 00:01:57,426 Softer? That's interesting. 28 00:01:58,764 --> 00:02:01,598 - I'm going out with friends. - Let me guess, 29 00:02:02,199 --> 00:02:03,367 bunch of shrinks? 30 00:02:04,422 --> 00:02:07,913 Yes and I'm gonna tell them that you brought me two bags of fish heads. 31 00:02:09,277 --> 00:02:11,308 Yes, most of them are shrinks. 32 00:02:12,213 --> 00:02:14,541 And the non-shrinks will think 33 00:02:14,701 --> 00:02:17,851 you're analyzing them, which, of course, you will be. 34 00:02:19,933 --> 00:02:23,080 Do you know who's been on my mind lately? 35 00:02:24,615 --> 00:02:25,513 Doris. 36 00:02:26,077 --> 00:02:27,641 From the institute? 37 00:02:28,199 --> 00:02:30,060 - Are you in touch? - Well, sort of. 38 00:02:30,322 --> 00:02:32,472 She's just gotten divorced again. 39 00:02:33,933 --> 00:02:36,978 She left this dentist who was a chronic cheat 40 00:02:37,138 --> 00:02:40,470 and now she's with this whiny, sourpuss doctor. 41 00:02:40,976 --> 00:02:43,448 Such an obvious reaction. You'd think as a shrink, 42 00:02:43,608 --> 00:02:45,778 you'd be able to avoid that kind of thing. 43 00:02:45,938 --> 00:02:48,134 Easier to see patterns when they're not ours. 44 00:02:48,294 --> 00:02:50,788 Or we see them but we can't avoid them. 45 00:02:51,291 --> 00:02:52,493 That's worse. 46 00:02:55,176 --> 00:02:56,261 You know... 47 00:02:57,244 --> 00:02:58,437 Doris had a... 48 00:02:58,784 --> 00:03:01,216 She had a bit of a thing for me back in the day. 49 00:03:01,630 --> 00:03:02,577 Did she? 50 00:03:02,737 --> 00:03:05,273 She used to say she was crazy about me. 51 00:03:05,856 --> 00:03:08,470 But I never slept with her. I always had this feeling 52 00:03:08,630 --> 00:03:10,536 that if I did, she'd somehow, 53 00:03:11,729 --> 00:03:14,689 I don't know, use it against me or... 54 00:03:14,949 --> 00:03:18,442 - say I was using her or something. - She was like that. Extremes. 55 00:03:18,705 --> 00:03:19,568 But hot. 56 00:03:19,830 --> 00:03:22,951 Not such useful qualities for a therapist. 57 00:03:23,751 --> 00:03:26,416 You don't think anybody's a good therapist. 58 00:03:26,576 --> 00:03:28,526 I'm no good either, remember? 59 00:03:29,829 --> 00:03:31,679 Isn't that how we left off? 60 00:03:33,570 --> 00:03:37,377 - Should we talk about our last session? - Should we? I don't know. 61 00:03:37,639 --> 00:03:41,677 I will say that it's not the first time I've left here disappointed or angry. 62 00:03:41,837 --> 00:03:44,035 If I was you, I'd look into that. 63 00:03:45,823 --> 00:03:48,013 Of course, I'm angry at everything these days. 64 00:03:48,275 --> 00:03:51,640 More or less all the time. This week was particularly... 65 00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:56,188 - What? - The girl gymnast... 66 00:03:58,201 --> 00:04:01,815 Took a bunch of pills and collapsed in my office. 67 00:04:02,522 --> 00:04:05,030 - Pills to get high? - No, sleeping pills. 68 00:04:05,292 --> 00:04:07,658 Tried to do herself in. Attempted suicide. 69 00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:10,086 - God, Paul. - Well, sort of. 70 00:04:11,298 --> 00:04:12,848 Choosing my office... 71 00:04:13,724 --> 00:04:16,732 There are more efficient places to kill yourself, I must say. 72 00:04:16,892 --> 00:04:18,842 But she was acting out and... 73 00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:21,547 Got to say it rattled me. 74 00:04:21,809 --> 00:04:26,050 - She took the pills before the session? - I had them, really stupidly... 75 00:04:26,563 --> 00:04:28,668 I never have pills in my bathroom. 76 00:04:28,828 --> 00:04:32,378 But I'm sleeping on the couch so I'd brought some stuff down. 77 00:04:33,456 --> 00:04:35,853 She managed to get down most of the bottle. 78 00:04:37,201 --> 00:04:38,951 - Is she okay? - She is. 79 00:04:39,952 --> 00:04:42,918 I called the psychiatrist who's a friend of mine 80 00:04:43,078 --> 00:04:44,395 and I asked him 81 00:04:44,987 --> 00:04:46,808 not to have her committed. 82 00:04:48,514 --> 00:04:50,764 Do you feel pretty sure she's safe? 83 00:04:52,261 --> 00:04:53,900 I think she would've been crushed 84 00:04:54,060 --> 00:04:56,416 if she thought that I'd abandoned her... 85 00:04:56,576 --> 00:05:00,043 You know, the parental figure passing her on to somebody else. 86 00:05:00,203 --> 00:05:02,909 I have a feeling that's why she took the pills in the first place, 87 00:05:03,069 --> 00:05:05,301 to kind of test my... 88 00:05:05,802 --> 00:05:07,885 My commitment to her. 89 00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:11,293 - Are you feeling guilty? - No, 90 00:05:12,391 --> 00:05:14,241 but I do regret those pills. 91 00:05:15,462 --> 00:05:17,540 Well, there's always a way to kill yourself. 92 00:05:17,700 --> 00:05:19,990 True. No I don't feel responsible. 93 00:05:20,951 --> 00:05:22,401 The strange thing is 94 00:05:22,578 --> 00:05:25,240 we had been making a lot of progress lately. 95 00:05:25,514 --> 00:05:27,728 She told me that she'd had sex with this boy 96 00:05:27,888 --> 00:05:31,538 and he told her that she fucked like somebody who'd been abused. 97 00:05:33,554 --> 00:05:36,227 Amazingly insensitive dumb kid 98 00:05:36,508 --> 00:05:39,615 trying to cover his own insecurity, but Christ, it made me so angry. 99 00:05:41,078 --> 00:05:43,185 Normally, I never say anything. 100 00:05:43,573 --> 00:05:46,041 - But you did? - I did. I called him an idiot. 101 00:05:46,201 --> 00:05:47,551 How did she react? 102 00:05:48,077 --> 00:05:50,527 If she heard, she didn't acknowledge it. 103 00:05:52,893 --> 00:05:55,043 But a moment later she had this... 104 00:05:55,576 --> 00:05:56,725 major breakthrough. 105 00:05:57,767 --> 00:06:00,228 She started to remember details of the accident. 106 00:06:00,490 --> 00:06:03,418 I mean, it was a crucial therapeutic breakthrough. 107 00:06:03,578 --> 00:06:05,979 I felt we were really getting somewhere. 108 00:06:06,139 --> 00:06:08,889 Then she just upped and went to the bathroom. 109 00:06:14,766 --> 00:06:17,854 You think you're more effective when you're involved? 110 00:06:18,014 --> 00:06:20,372 When you show a patient your feelings? 111 00:06:20,765 --> 00:06:22,915 Maybe, I don't know. But that's not what I'm... 112 00:06:23,075 --> 00:06:25,225 - really saying here, Gina. - No? 113 00:06:26,433 --> 00:06:28,291 Would you stop drawing conclusions? 114 00:06:28,451 --> 00:06:30,403 I'm just telling you about my week. 115 00:06:32,376 --> 00:06:33,414 Let's see... 116 00:06:34,239 --> 00:06:36,043 In other news... 117 00:06:36,967 --> 00:06:39,977 Kate took her affair to Rome this week. 118 00:06:42,991 --> 00:06:46,805 When Sophie collapsed in my office, I yelled out for Kate, 119 00:06:47,875 --> 00:06:51,625 then realized I was alone in the house. I was the only one there. 120 00:06:53,874 --> 00:06:56,024 Did you and Kate discuss anything? 121 00:06:56,751 --> 00:06:59,101 She didn't try to get me to stop her. 122 00:07:01,437 --> 00:07:03,481 She just made a call to work, 123 00:07:04,229 --> 00:07:06,295 and packed her bag and off she went. 124 00:07:06,875 --> 00:07:09,325 - You weren't surprised? - Not really. 125 00:07:10,018 --> 00:07:12,268 That's the way Kate has always been. 126 00:07:13,749 --> 00:07:16,842 I mean that was one of the things I fell in love with... 127 00:07:17,002 --> 00:07:20,552 The fact that she just made up her mind and just did whatever 128 00:07:22,531 --> 00:07:24,281 she was determined to do. 129 00:07:25,936 --> 00:07:28,589 So unlike my mother, you know? 130 00:07:29,944 --> 00:07:32,846 I think one of the reasons I married her was to get back at my mother, 131 00:07:33,006 --> 00:07:36,693 because it was some kind of strike against that whole notion of... 132 00:07:37,535 --> 00:07:39,193 I don't know, victimhood. 133 00:07:40,325 --> 00:07:43,988 One thing you can say about Kate is she never played the victim. 134 00:07:44,148 --> 00:07:47,377 She makes up her mind to go to Rome, she goes to Rome. 135 00:07:52,253 --> 00:07:55,503 It's been 18 years since I've been alone in that house. 136 00:07:56,128 --> 00:07:57,978 Rosie's away for the weekend 137 00:07:59,255 --> 00:08:01,402 and Max is with Kate's mom. 138 00:08:04,062 --> 00:08:06,327 I've got the whole house to myself. 139 00:08:08,068 --> 00:08:10,317 - How is that? - Weird. 140 00:08:13,753 --> 00:08:15,704 Anyway, I'm hoping with... 141 00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:18,867 With my fish chowder and a bottle of good wine, I'll get lucky. 142 00:08:21,192 --> 00:08:24,942 You think I'm joking but I do make a mean chowder, I have to say. 143 00:08:25,878 --> 00:08:28,971 I start with the broth then the vegetables and the fillets. 144 00:08:29,131 --> 00:08:31,088 I steam the leeks and the carrots, 145 00:08:32,424 --> 00:08:36,422 a few other things. Mix them all together, leave it for about 20 min. 146 00:08:37,801 --> 00:08:38,805 Delicious. 147 00:08:39,528 --> 00:08:41,223 The smell always made Kate sick. 148 00:08:42,450 --> 00:08:44,293 She could never stand it. 149 00:08:45,257 --> 00:08:46,907 I have to say I love it. 150 00:08:47,569 --> 00:08:49,619 - Do you like chowder? - I do. 151 00:08:50,139 --> 00:08:53,860 Well, maybe I'll have a little party, invite a couple of people over. 152 00:08:54,122 --> 00:08:56,881 I could invite... I could invite Doris. 153 00:08:58,252 --> 00:09:00,602 How long is it since you've seen her? 154 00:09:04,066 --> 00:09:07,216 The carefree days of the institute. The good old days. 155 00:09:08,186 --> 00:09:11,174 - Would you invite her husband? - Are you kidding? 156 00:09:12,132 --> 00:09:15,296 It'll say in the invite, "No sourpusses, please." 157 00:09:15,927 --> 00:09:18,093 - Just Doris Messler and you. - And you. 158 00:09:19,743 --> 00:09:20,800 I'm invited? 159 00:09:21,176 --> 00:09:23,534 You can wear that dress if you want. 160 00:09:23,694 --> 00:09:26,434 Oh, well, thank you, but I think I'd just be in the way. 161 00:09:26,780 --> 00:09:30,253 No, you wouldn't. You're my cover. That's the whole point. 162 00:09:30,625 --> 00:09:33,518 I'll tell her you're coming, how great it would be if she came too. 163 00:09:33,678 --> 00:09:36,344 It would be like an institute reunion. 164 00:09:37,941 --> 00:09:40,407 And then I leave and you're alone with her. 165 00:09:40,567 --> 00:09:43,117 Perfect. It's a perfect plan. Can't fail. 166 00:09:44,507 --> 00:09:46,914 You're in a chipper mood, considering. 167 00:09:48,319 --> 00:09:49,319 Guess I am. 168 00:09:50,817 --> 00:09:52,210 It's nice for a change. 169 00:09:53,065 --> 00:09:54,589 I miss this side of you. 170 00:09:55,128 --> 00:09:58,278 I guess it's 'cause this shitty week is finally over. 171 00:09:58,752 --> 00:10:00,845 You're also showing me something. 172 00:10:01,005 --> 00:10:02,471 What am I showing you? 173 00:10:04,379 --> 00:10:06,810 How it feels to be with Laura. 174 00:10:08,445 --> 00:10:10,918 How a therapist feels when... 175 00:10:11,587 --> 00:10:13,191 a patient is flirting. 176 00:10:14,774 --> 00:10:16,536 You think I'm flirting with you? 177 00:10:16,696 --> 00:10:18,006 Well, no. 178 00:10:18,456 --> 00:10:22,222 That's the wrong word. It's not flirting, it's... 179 00:10:23,505 --> 00:10:24,743 I'm your cover but... 180 00:10:26,063 --> 00:10:28,142 You're inviting me to a party 181 00:10:28,302 --> 00:10:30,596 and you're telling me which dress to wear 182 00:10:30,756 --> 00:10:33,106 and you're inviting me into your life. 183 00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:35,330 And it maybe is a taste of... 184 00:10:35,943 --> 00:10:37,893 Of what it's like with Laura. 185 00:10:38,824 --> 00:10:40,592 You know, she draws you in. 186 00:10:43,318 --> 00:10:44,868 It must be flattering. 187 00:10:48,443 --> 00:10:49,606 Yeah it is. 188 00:10:50,820 --> 00:10:53,770 I gotta tell you, she's one hell of a storyteller. 189 00:10:54,261 --> 00:10:56,046 Man, can she weave a tale. 190 00:11:00,190 --> 00:11:03,115 She goes into explicit, vivid detail. 191 00:11:04,887 --> 00:11:08,036 She spent about a half an hour telling me about the... 192 00:11:10,254 --> 00:11:12,499 About the sex that she had with Alex... 193 00:11:13,751 --> 00:11:16,095 What she liked, what she didn't like, 194 00:11:16,255 --> 00:11:20,053 what he liked, what she did, what he did. 195 00:11:23,005 --> 00:11:24,155 Pretty vivid. 196 00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:28,524 A man would have to be made of rock not to react, 197 00:11:30,506 --> 00:11:32,156 not to feel a little... 198 00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:35,793 - A little what? - Jealous. 199 00:11:39,755 --> 00:11:41,319 Of course, that's what she wanted. 200 00:11:42,382 --> 00:11:43,382 Was it? 201 00:11:45,403 --> 00:11:47,158 I know you think it's a problem 202 00:11:47,318 --> 00:11:50,746 that I have this jealousy over Laura's affair with Alex. 203 00:11:51,233 --> 00:11:54,500 - No, not necessarily. - Jealousy is not on your list 204 00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:58,978 of reactions a therapist should have. Or is it a list of no-no feelings? 205 00:11:59,242 --> 00:12:01,509 Is that what you want from me, a list? 206 00:12:01,669 --> 00:12:03,199 Would that make it easier? 207 00:12:03,359 --> 00:12:04,344 I doubt it. 208 00:12:04,504 --> 00:12:06,595 You keep putting words in my mouth. 209 00:12:06,857 --> 00:12:10,814 Maybe you want me to be unreasonable so you have something to push against. 210 00:12:11,444 --> 00:12:12,494 This topic... 211 00:12:12,754 --> 00:12:16,404 This topic always brings us back onto shaky ground, doesn't it? 212 00:12:16,564 --> 00:12:17,487 What topic? 213 00:12:17,647 --> 00:12:19,899 The boundaries between therapist and patient. 214 00:12:20,316 --> 00:12:23,208 Teachers marry students. There's no big deal about it. 215 00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:25,453 What's the... I mean, is it really wrong? 216 00:12:25,834 --> 00:12:27,384 It's different, Paul. 217 00:12:29,944 --> 00:12:32,865 I remember Charlie, your... 218 00:12:34,300 --> 00:12:35,383 Your patient. 219 00:12:35,543 --> 00:12:38,284 He used to call me after sessions and he'd say, 220 00:12:38,444 --> 00:12:41,595 "This no-sex-with-the-therapist thing, it's driving me crazy. 221 00:12:41,755 --> 00:12:44,290 "Is it for real? There's got to be a loophole. 222 00:12:44,450 --> 00:12:47,304 "Am I never going to get to sleep with Gina?" 223 00:12:48,511 --> 00:12:51,030 Okay. Let's stay I stop Laura's therapy. 224 00:12:51,196 --> 00:12:54,096 Let's say I send her to somebody else as you want me to do. 225 00:12:54,256 --> 00:12:57,597 Surely, in six months time I can call her up and say... 226 00:12:57,757 --> 00:12:59,381 No, no you can't. 227 00:12:59,541 --> 00:13:01,941 Then a year, 18 months, when it's cooled off. 228 00:13:02,203 --> 00:13:03,902 There's no cooling-off period. 229 00:13:04,524 --> 00:13:06,541 It's not about cooling off. 230 00:13:06,833 --> 00:13:08,783 It doesn't change the dynamic. 231 00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:12,960 In six months or 10 years, she'll still be a patient. 232 00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:15,831 But that's just some bullshit some lawyer came up with. 233 00:13:16,091 --> 00:13:17,644 No, it's not a law. 234 00:13:17,804 --> 00:13:20,293 It's beyond a code of ethics. It's essential. 235 00:13:21,381 --> 00:13:23,631 It's something you carry inside you. 236 00:13:24,586 --> 00:13:26,066 Can't you see that? 237 00:13:27,819 --> 00:13:30,713 So what you're saying is that there is no conceivable 238 00:13:30,873 --> 00:13:33,340 - set of circumstances in which... - None. 239 00:13:33,500 --> 00:13:35,600 Christ, you're so fucking fundamentalist. 240 00:13:36,493 --> 00:13:38,844 There's a lot of people who would disagree with this. 241 00:13:39,004 --> 00:13:40,254 Then go to them. 242 00:13:48,819 --> 00:13:50,269 She's 30 years old. 243 00:13:51,364 --> 00:13:54,370 She's seductive, dependent, hysterical. 244 00:13:55,453 --> 00:13:58,647 She idolizes you. It's classic, right? It's textbook. 245 00:14:00,228 --> 00:14:02,219 Here's a girl with damaged self-esteem... 246 00:14:02,379 --> 00:14:04,587 Excuse me, how do you know she's damaged? 247 00:14:04,849 --> 00:14:08,099 You've told me about her affair with your other patient, 248 00:14:08,561 --> 00:14:10,271 her trying to make you jealous, 249 00:14:10,431 --> 00:14:12,316 her describing the sex, 250 00:14:14,317 --> 00:14:16,567 how she's tried to enter your house, 251 00:14:16,949 --> 00:14:19,278 how she's played all of these games 252 00:14:19,438 --> 00:14:22,491 to try to get an oedipal reaction from you. 253 00:14:22,909 --> 00:14:26,391 If you fall for these advances, she won't be grateful. 254 00:14:26,551 --> 00:14:28,446 She'll be shocked, rightly so. 255 00:14:31,412 --> 00:14:32,938 And she'll leave you. 256 00:14:35,255 --> 00:14:38,931 All of which you know, but you're ignoring it. 257 00:14:41,258 --> 00:14:42,584 You want to be desired. 258 00:14:44,943 --> 00:14:45,837 We all do. 259 00:14:48,003 --> 00:14:51,342 But you need to remember why Laura came to you in the first place. 260 00:14:51,603 --> 00:14:54,784 So you're telling me now what's wrong with my patient? 261 00:14:55,253 --> 00:14:57,974 Another dissertation on what a lousy therapist I am? 262 00:14:58,236 --> 00:15:01,036 I have never, ever said anything like that. 263 00:15:01,196 --> 00:15:02,312 Excuse me? 264 00:15:02,574 --> 00:15:05,471 What about that famous letter you wrote? 265 00:15:05,631 --> 00:15:08,381 I carried that letter in my pocket for months. 266 00:15:10,321 --> 00:15:13,346 But I do have to say that everything I've accomplished as a therapist, 267 00:15:13,506 --> 00:15:15,492 I owe to that letter. So, thank you. 268 00:15:16,943 --> 00:15:19,410 You know, we're getting away from Laura again. 269 00:15:19,570 --> 00:15:20,593 I can quote it. 270 00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:24,848 "The patients were consistently positive 271 00:15:25,008 --> 00:15:27,932 "about their sessions with Paul. 272 00:15:28,381 --> 00:15:31,782 "However, it became clear that Paul was playing to their expectations. 273 00:15:31,942 --> 00:15:34,177 "His approach to therapy is compromised..." 274 00:15:34,630 --> 00:15:36,282 No, actually what you wrote was 275 00:15:36,442 --> 00:15:40,250 "Seriously compromised by his desire to please." 276 00:15:41,260 --> 00:15:44,790 That translates to me as, "He's a shitty therapist." 277 00:15:44,950 --> 00:15:47,515 I also said that you were one of the most brilliant... 278 00:15:47,675 --> 00:15:49,819 I know. You said all kinds of things. 279 00:15:50,079 --> 00:15:52,803 You said that I was your favorite, that I was the heir apparent. 280 00:15:52,963 --> 00:15:55,115 Why didn't you tell me that I wasn't good enough? 281 00:15:55,454 --> 00:15:57,973 Because that's not the way I felt. Why would I say that? 282 00:15:58,133 --> 00:16:00,004 Then I could've gotten on with my work, 283 00:16:00,164 --> 00:16:03,596 instead of dragging out 8 years of promises, of drumroll 284 00:16:03,756 --> 00:16:06,125 leading to the worst humiliation of my life. 285 00:16:06,387 --> 00:16:08,881 You know Walker, even Jeffries, 286 00:16:09,521 --> 00:16:13,386 they said that I was guaranteed to be the head of the institute. 287 00:16:13,546 --> 00:16:16,159 Across the board, everybody agreed with it. 288 00:16:16,815 --> 00:16:17,903 Except you. 289 00:16:18,063 --> 00:16:20,700 - I didn't believe you were ready. - Clearly, you didn't. 290 00:16:20,860 --> 00:16:23,737 The way you took critique, it made you furious. 291 00:16:24,502 --> 00:16:26,980 You know, it was one professional assessment. 292 00:16:27,568 --> 00:16:31,043 And you took it personally. So personally, I had to wonder 293 00:16:31,203 --> 00:16:33,722 if it wasn't an echo of an earlier rejection. 294 00:16:33,882 --> 00:16:35,967 Please, Gina. Not this again. 295 00:16:36,127 --> 00:16:38,533 I know exactly where you're going with this. 296 00:16:38,693 --> 00:16:40,952 A son who feels he's disappointed his father; 297 00:16:41,254 --> 00:16:44,904 a son who feels he hasn't lived up to his father's expectations. 298 00:16:45,503 --> 00:16:47,786 It's something you would want to address. 299 00:16:47,946 --> 00:16:50,086 Please don't minimize what you said to me. 300 00:16:50,385 --> 00:16:54,235 I wasn't reacting to something in my past in relation to my father. 301 00:16:54,561 --> 00:16:57,111 One review drove you out of the institute. 302 00:16:57,805 --> 00:17:00,025 That letter pissed on eight years 303 00:17:00,185 --> 00:17:01,396 of my work. 304 00:17:06,443 --> 00:17:09,493 Despite it, though, I became an excellent therapist. 305 00:17:10,319 --> 00:17:12,469 And some people might say that... 306 00:17:13,006 --> 00:17:14,944 I became a better therapist than you. 307 00:17:16,690 --> 00:17:18,114 Maybe you feel that. 308 00:17:18,376 --> 00:17:21,126 Maybe that's what this is really about. 309 00:17:23,756 --> 00:17:25,808 So let me ask you again. 310 00:17:27,073 --> 00:17:29,756 Why did you come to me specifically? 311 00:17:32,820 --> 00:17:34,770 I suppose because I needed to... 312 00:17:36,820 --> 00:17:38,570 I don't know, test myself. 313 00:17:39,486 --> 00:17:41,348 I mean, I already knew before I came here 314 00:17:41,508 --> 00:17:43,786 what you were gonna say about me and Laura and Kate. 315 00:17:43,946 --> 00:17:47,830 But I thought to myself, you know, if I can withstand your... 316 00:17:48,338 --> 00:17:51,602 corrosive attacks, your particular brand... 317 00:17:52,284 --> 00:17:54,867 - of analytical castration... - That sounds horrible. 318 00:17:55,027 --> 00:17:57,055 Why put yourself through that? 319 00:17:58,678 --> 00:18:00,064 So that I can... 320 00:18:03,754 --> 00:18:05,347 Trust myself, I suppose. 321 00:18:05,943 --> 00:18:07,193 Trust yourself? 322 00:18:08,131 --> 00:18:09,131 With what? 323 00:18:14,505 --> 00:18:15,505 You know... 324 00:18:16,447 --> 00:18:19,497 You said that you were writing a novel. You know, 325 00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:22,346 I found that kind of amusing, to tell you the truth, 326 00:18:22,506 --> 00:18:24,776 because a novel is about complexity. 327 00:18:25,944 --> 00:18:28,794 It's about contradictions, foibles, human folly. 328 00:18:29,489 --> 00:18:30,639 Not absolutes. 329 00:18:31,818 --> 00:18:33,594 For you, complexity is a problem, 330 00:18:33,754 --> 00:18:36,604 some kind of pathology that needs to be treated. 331 00:18:37,038 --> 00:18:39,974 And you know what I find fucking offensive, to tell you the truth? 332 00:18:40,134 --> 00:18:43,137 That you think I'm blind to a situation as obvious 333 00:18:43,297 --> 00:18:45,368 as erotic transference. 334 00:18:50,330 --> 00:18:53,598 Let me just tell you that I treat Laura with the same integrity, 335 00:18:53,758 --> 00:18:56,441 the same concern, the same rigor 336 00:18:56,601 --> 00:18:58,513 as I treat all my patients. 337 00:19:00,444 --> 00:19:02,394 I happen to like my patients. 338 00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:04,874 That's the difference between you and me. 339 00:19:05,034 --> 00:19:07,597 I worry about them. I identify with them. 340 00:19:07,757 --> 00:19:10,184 I put myself out for them. You analyze them. 341 00:19:13,116 --> 00:19:15,403 I analyze too, but I empathize. 342 00:19:19,923 --> 00:19:23,108 Let me ask you something. I'm just curious about this. 343 00:19:26,938 --> 00:19:27,993 Do you miss 344 00:19:28,596 --> 00:19:29,893 having patients? 345 00:19:31,365 --> 00:19:32,165 Why? 346 00:19:32,844 --> 00:19:35,214 I was never really 100% convinced, 347 00:19:35,568 --> 00:19:38,171 to be honest, that you actually like this process, 348 00:19:39,904 --> 00:19:41,782 the sitting down with a patient. 349 00:19:43,131 --> 00:19:46,725 That's because in your opinion, I have no empathy, and so, 350 00:19:46,885 --> 00:19:48,914 how could I get any satisfaction from it? 351 00:19:49,074 --> 00:19:51,782 I'm not saying you don't get satisfaction from it in the same way 352 00:19:51,942 --> 00:19:53,603 that a sail-maker or... 353 00:19:53,865 --> 00:19:55,272 or a chemist gets, 354 00:19:55,707 --> 00:19:59,247 when they practice their craft. But that thing I'm talking about 355 00:19:59,407 --> 00:20:01,615 that exists between a doctor and a patient... 356 00:20:01,775 --> 00:20:04,121 That connection, that buzz... 357 00:20:07,024 --> 00:20:09,392 See, I can't help but connect... 358 00:20:10,124 --> 00:20:11,450 with the person. 359 00:20:12,258 --> 00:20:14,598 That's who I am as a therapist. 360 00:20:14,758 --> 00:20:15,993 That's my... 361 00:20:17,205 --> 00:20:18,174 reward. 362 00:20:30,723 --> 00:20:32,350 A while ago, before... 363 00:20:32,612 --> 00:20:34,656 Before I started coming here... 364 00:20:36,503 --> 00:20:37,621 There was... 365 00:20:38,757 --> 00:20:40,607 There was a session that... 366 00:20:43,259 --> 00:20:44,705 Laura cried. 367 00:20:47,114 --> 00:20:48,803 She'd never actually... 368 00:20:49,208 --> 00:20:50,576 done that before. 369 00:20:52,820 --> 00:20:56,165 That's a kind of a victory, right? It's kind of a milestone for a therapist 370 00:20:56,685 --> 00:20:59,080 when you get the patient to that point where they... 371 00:20:59,368 --> 00:21:00,753 Where they cry... 372 00:21:07,759 --> 00:21:10,809 It was different with her. There was something so... 373 00:21:12,447 --> 00:21:15,597 So moving about seeing her just break down like that. 374 00:21:19,812 --> 00:21:21,556 In that moment, I swear, 375 00:21:22,378 --> 00:21:24,346 I could've said, "Fuck it all. 376 00:21:24,751 --> 00:21:26,733 "I just want to be with her." 377 00:21:27,643 --> 00:21:28,806 But I didn't. 378 00:21:29,843 --> 00:21:32,533 I came to you instead. I came especially to you. 379 00:21:32,693 --> 00:21:34,871 I chose you 'cause I thought to myself: 380 00:21:35,133 --> 00:21:37,270 "If Gina can't convince me to... 381 00:21:37,797 --> 00:21:40,835 "to stay away, then how am I gonna convince myself?" 382 00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:50,370 It's really tough when I'm alone with her, you know? 383 00:21:50,818 --> 00:21:53,568 And she's asking me: "Please, just be honest. 384 00:21:54,569 --> 00:21:56,560 "Please, tell me how you feel." 385 00:21:58,364 --> 00:21:59,414 And I can't. 386 00:22:01,696 --> 00:22:04,046 I guess the reason I'm here is because 387 00:22:05,488 --> 00:22:08,221 I really want to look at this. I want to examine it. 388 00:22:08,381 --> 00:22:10,931 I want to be absolutely clear about this... 389 00:22:12,737 --> 00:22:14,988 One hundred percent, that it's not... 390 00:22:18,633 --> 00:22:19,783 That I'm not... 391 00:22:21,009 --> 00:22:22,559 That you're not what? 392 00:22:30,131 --> 00:22:31,581 You need to say it. 393 00:22:32,447 --> 00:22:34,138 You need to finish the thought. 394 00:22:35,879 --> 00:22:37,329 That what I want... 395 00:22:39,384 --> 00:22:41,976 Isn't, in some way, immoral... 396 00:22:43,881 --> 00:22:45,031 Or... 397 00:22:46,020 --> 00:22:47,063 unethical. 398 00:22:48,448 --> 00:22:50,098 And that it's not abuse, 399 00:22:50,928 --> 00:22:53,074 an abuse of my power as a doctor 400 00:22:53,694 --> 00:22:54,944 with a patient. 401 00:23:13,007 --> 00:23:14,657 I'm not pushing you out. 402 00:23:16,132 --> 00:23:18,974 I'm not running away, no matter what you tell me. 403 00:23:19,134 --> 00:23:22,184 At the institute, 404 00:23:22,977 --> 00:23:26,876 maybe that was hubris on my part. I don't know, it might have been. 405 00:23:28,134 --> 00:23:30,784 But I won't do that now. I won't reject you. 406 00:23:31,287 --> 00:23:33,598 That doesn't mean I'm gonna let you do something 407 00:23:33,758 --> 00:23:36,038 that you'll regret the rest of your life, 408 00:23:36,198 --> 00:23:38,448 not without fighting you every step. 409 00:23:39,221 --> 00:23:41,025 If it's safety you need, 410 00:23:41,822 --> 00:23:42,881 this is it. 411 00:23:46,013 --> 00:23:48,785 We've already crossed lines of conduct in this room. 412 00:23:48,945 --> 00:23:51,218 I'm saying that because I want you to know 413 00:23:51,378 --> 00:23:53,213 how far I'm willing to go. 414 00:23:54,371 --> 00:23:55,936 Whatever you tell me, 415 00:23:56,889 --> 00:23:58,264 I'm here for you. 416 00:23:59,647 --> 00:24:01,107 I won't abandon you. 417 00:24:02,479 --> 00:24:03,746 No matter what, 418 00:24:05,796 --> 00:24:06,765 I'm here. 419 00:24:12,909 --> 00:24:14,012 I love her. 420 00:24:18,759 --> 00:24:19,909 I love Laura. 421 00:24:20,965 --> 00:24:24,415 Every word out of her mouth, every move she makes, I just... 422 00:24:25,881 --> 00:24:28,878 I love talking to her, you know? Just listening to her. 423 00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:35,120 I know it's a joke, cliché... 424 00:24:35,695 --> 00:24:38,745 50-year-old married man in love with a 30-year-old. 425 00:24:39,945 --> 00:24:41,695 But I want to be with her 426 00:24:42,071 --> 00:24:43,723 and I don't care what it means. 427 00:24:43,883 --> 00:24:45,933 And I don't care what it costs. 428 00:24:46,634 --> 00:24:47,784 I don't care. 429 00:25:00,259 --> 00:25:01,259 I love her.