1 00:00:06,920 --> 00:00:08,990 Previously on In Treatment. 2 00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:13,109 We're lying face to face, petting each other like high school kids. 3 00:00:13,160 --> 00:00:16,835 One thing seems perfectly plain to me, you slept with my patient. 4 00:00:16,880 --> 00:00:18,359 He doesn't belong to you. 5 00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:21,119 He's a great guy. A little insecure in bed, maybe, 6 00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:23,435 but I think I'll have a great affair with him. 7 00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:26,597 Are you saying that when I was fucking Alex, I was fucking you? 8 00:00:26,640 --> 00:00:30,428 It seems more like, "Look what you missed out on, Paul, you coward." 9 00:00:30,480 --> 00:00:33,677 If there's one thing that I put out there without manipulation, 10 00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:36,188 it's that I've wanted you. 11 00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:39,710 There is more intimacy between us than most couples in the world! 12 00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:40,795 Isn't that right? 13 00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:42,990 I don't deny that there's intimacy... 14 00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:45,474 Is there intimacy here, or not? 15 00:00:45,520 --> 00:00:48,512 Yes. There is. 16 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:55,951 Sorry. 17 00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:04,679 Laura, I think that, um... 18 00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:07,757 we need to discuss in a little greater detail, uh... 19 00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:10,159 your ending therapy. 20 00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:14,079 We're... we're not stopping yet, but in order to do it gradually, 21 00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:18,033 we have to create what we call a timeline. 22 00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:21,038 No timeline. We're finishing today. 23 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:24,269 (Sniffs) 24 00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:27,232 Yeah, today. This is, uh, our last session. 25 00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:39,038 Good. 26 00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:41,196 Feels good. 27 00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:45,470 Resolved, I guess. 28 00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:50,956 I was a little nervous about telling you, but now that that's over, I feel better. 29 00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:55,198 (Sighs) Maybe a little tired. 30 00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:58,111 And, uh... 31 00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:01,437 And sad. How about you? 32 00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:04,071 How do you feel? 33 00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:06,918 I'm sorry, is that not OK for me to ask? 34 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:10,159 - No, it's perfectly OK. - Oh, good, so, um... 35 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:12,353 Tell me. 36 00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:17,269 Well, to be honest, 37 00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:19,231 it's... it's come as a bit of a shock. 38 00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:21,589 Shocked. Well, OK, what else? 39 00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:24,670 Well, I feel sad, too. 40 00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:26,312 (Laughs) 41 00:03:26,360 --> 00:03:29,158 - Right. - Yes, I do. You don't believe me? 42 00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:33,557 It doesn't look that way. It looks like you're holding back this huge sigh of relief, 43 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:37,149 this huge gulp of air trapped in your lungs. 44 00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:39,589 See, I'm trained to see that stuff, remember? 45 00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:43,633 Monitoring respiration, that's anaesthesiology 101. 46 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:47,797 Go ahead, let it go. 47 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:50,511 Exhale. 48 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:55,112 No? 49 00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:57,791 Well... 50 00:03:57,840 --> 00:04:00,149 Maybe I'm a lousy doctor. 51 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:06,677 So how's your week been? 52 00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:12,112 Don't ask me about my week. It was terrible. 53 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,911 - How terrible? - (Sighs) 54 00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:20,553 I was in surgery on Friday and, um... 55 00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:25,116 this 15-year-old girl, she had this tumour on her cheek. 56 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:27,720 It was nothing, benign, cosmetic. 57 00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:29,998 And everything's going great. 58 00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:32,110 Nothing wrong with the anaesthetic. 59 00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:35,436 And my attending gets called away to consult on a procedure 60 00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:38,597 and the surgery ended faster than normal. 61 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:40,392 It was simple. 62 00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:44,592 And I'm left with her still anaesthetised. So I called to ask what to do. 63 00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:47,837 I've never been before with a patient who's never woken up. 64 00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:51,555 They told me to take her into the recovery room. 65 00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:55,388 She was still intubated, and the attending is supposed to remove the tube 66 00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:57,635 when she wakes up. 67 00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:01,070 She was a sweet girl, pretty. 68 00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:03,671 Michelle was her name. 69 00:05:04,280 --> 00:05:06,271 Before the op, I, uh, was talking to her mom 70 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:10,836 who told me that she'd been asking for this operation since she was nine. 71 00:05:10,880 --> 00:05:14,077 They recommended that she put it off for a while, and... 72 00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:16,270 But she wasn't afraid, 73 00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:18,276 just wanted this thing gone, this... 74 00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:20,993 fatty lump off her pretty face. 75 00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:23,992 (Sighs) 76 00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:28,874 And then suddenly, she wasn't breathing. I don't know what happened, I... 77 00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:32,230 I took her into recovery and two minutes later she was blue. 78 00:05:32,280 --> 00:05:35,477 Atcheson, he's the senior attending, 79 00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:38,114 he pounced on her with chest compressions. 80 00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:41,038 I had no idea what went wrong, Paul. 81 00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:45,517 They extubated her and she was breathing. Everything was fine. It was OK. 82 00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:49,148 Oh. 83 00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:52,954 How did you feel... in those few minutes when the... 84 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:55,672 Fantastic, never better. 85 00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:58,678 I fe... felt like shit. 86 00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:00,756 I only look competent, Paul, you know, 87 00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:03,553 white coat, stethoscope, pen in pocket. 88 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:07,870 I'm like those, uh, doctors from the pharmaceutical ads, you know? 89 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:09,831 Like, hand on hip, 90 00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:12,553 brow a little furrowed with concern. 91 00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:15,717 Nice smile. I have a pretty smile, right? 92 00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:17,557 Mm-hm. 93 00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:25,716 Do... you expect that nothing will ever go wrong with a patient? 94 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:27,910 I dropped the ball. I... 95 00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:31,635 But is... is that what the... the attending concluded? 96 00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:34,114 Couldn't it have been something else, like a... 97 00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:39,234 - an allergic reaction, a drop in blood... - It's always my responsibility, Paul. 98 00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:45,990 Tell me a little more about that, um... about that girl. 99 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:50,191 She had braces. 100 00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:55,835 And through her surgical cap, you could see, um... 101 00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:58,110 What do they call it? The barrette, 102 00:06:58,160 --> 00:07:00,958 little butterfly pinning back her bangs. 103 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:01,989 They were old. 104 00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:06,033 Must have been her mother's or from a thrift store or something. 105 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:10,719 And she had these, um, beautiful hands, gorgeous hands. 106 00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:14,070 She's just a girl and she had these hands of a... of a woman. 107 00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:15,109 Hm. 108 00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:18,118 Very long fingers, pretty little nails. 109 00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:21,155 Shit, when I was her age I used to eat my nails. 110 00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:24,397 They were ugly and stubby and short and... Nerves, I guess. 111 00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:26,749 Why were you nervous? 112 00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:32,712 Well, it was, you know, around the time that my mother passed away, so... 113 00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:34,959 Mm. 114 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:38,514 And whose responsibility were you then? 115 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:41,397 What do you mean? 116 00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:44,469 Well, who was taking care of you? 117 00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:47,592 You mean who was watching my sleep? 118 00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:48,755 Yeah. 119 00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:52,998 I wasn't that girl on the operating table, Paul. 120 00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:55,395 It's just you told me that when your mother died, 121 00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:58,671 that it was like... a kind of a death for you too. 122 00:07:58,720 --> 00:08:00,995 Yeah, but you know what? Shit happens. 123 00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:03,998 Life isn't fair. What are you going to do, sue God? 124 00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:05,871 Well, who would you sue? 125 00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:10,114 (Laughs) You. 126 00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:14,277 No, suing you wouldn't do me any good either. 127 00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:18,271 That's my problem with psychology, Paul. 128 00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:22,074 You dig and you uncover all sorts of truths about yourself, 129 00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:24,475 and you touch on all sorts of painful places. 130 00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:28,399 But what good does it do, Paul? I'm serious. I'm not being cynical. 131 00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:32,433 What good does it do me today to know how much I suffered then? 132 00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:35,358 I'm sick of feeling sorry for myself. 133 00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:37,912 (Sighs) 134 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:43,115 I fucking hate feeling sorry for myself. That's one of the things I hate. 135 00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:47,119 - What else do you hate? - Ah, there's a long list. 136 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:49,754 Well, for example? 137 00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:56,591 - Omelettes. - Omelettes. 138 00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:59,677 Omelettes and all sorts of eggs, but mostly omelettes. 139 00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:02,393 That was the thing that my father and I ate 140 00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:05,318 the entire year after my mother passed away. 141 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:11,832 I still have flashbacks, but from behind, you know, and I'm... 142 00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:17,272 I'm standing at the stove and I'm breaking eggs into a frying pan. 143 00:09:17,320 --> 00:09:19,788 Everything's very quiet, no talking and... 144 00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:22,149 my dad's just sitting there 145 00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:26,034 reading the newspaper or something and I'm just... shh, shh, shh... 146 00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:28,435 beating the eggs with a fork. 147 00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:33,916 Sometimes he wouldn't even be reading the newspaper. He would just be... 148 00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:36,758 sitting there with a vacant look, in a daze. 149 00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:41,598 I used to... 150 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:48,309 I'd fantasise that he'd disappear. 151 00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:54,276 It's not that I wanted him to die, I just didn't want to continue living like that. 152 00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:55,435 (Paul) Mm. 153 00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:59,029 Everything was so suffocating. I just didn't want to be there. 154 00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:00,399 Mm. 155 00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:02,271 So then... 156 00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:04,117 Then you went to California. 157 00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:08,478 - Yeah. - You stayed there for a while. 158 00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:11,717 How was it coming back home after spending that time 159 00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:13,751 with David and Celia? 160 00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:17,755 Well, you know, you have plans, 161 00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:18,949 full of beans. 162 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:21,878 I thought, "Shit, I can make him feel better. I can." 163 00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:23,512 But I couldn't. 164 00:10:23,560 --> 00:10:27,473 That house was like a black hole that just sucked me in. 165 00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:32,553 Anyway, I, um... 166 00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:36,193 I saw David again six months later. 167 00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:37,753 Oh? 168 00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:42,794 Yeah, he came to the DC area to try some big case. 169 00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:45,149 He stayed for a while, a few months. 170 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:48,829 Mm. I thought you said you never saw him again. 171 00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:53,910 Well, I never saw them again, but I... I saw him. 172 00:10:57,360 --> 00:11:00,636 He used to have a room at the Hay-Adams and... 173 00:11:00,680 --> 00:11:04,639 But occasionally, he'd, you know, stay over at our house. 174 00:11:04,680 --> 00:11:07,672 He didn't have a car, so when it got late he'd stay. 175 00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:11,557 He always, you know, offered to take a cab back into town, 176 00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:14,319 but my dad refused 177 00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:18,148 since he was... so hospitable to me 178 00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:20,191 during the summer. 179 00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:23,191 I mean, he was Ionely. 180 00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:27,233 But he wasn't the same David, you know, 181 00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:29,430 with the Ray-Bans and the surfboard. 182 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:35,077 He was this... this lawyer guy with a... three-piece suit, an expensive haircut. 183 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,275 And a middle-aged pot belly. 184 00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:44,350 Not that there's anything wrong with a pot belly. 185 00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:51,279 Anyway, he, um... he came to our house 186 00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:53,959 for... for dinner the first night he was in town. 187 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:56,594 My brother Oliver was away at college, and... 188 00:11:57,360 --> 00:11:58,918 so it was just the three of us. 189 00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:01,076 One big happy family. 190 00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:03,509 My dad, David and I. 191 00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:07,469 What was that like, sitting there with... 192 00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:09,112 these extremes, 193 00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:11,549 your father on one side and... 194 00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:15,198 Nick Nolte with a pot belly sitting on the other side? 195 00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:17,629 - What was that like? - At first, well... 196 00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:19,352 self-conscious, I guess. 197 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:23,669 You know how you always feel more like a kid 198 00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:25,119 when your parents are around? 199 00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:26,513 That happened. 200 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:31,753 I remember slurping up spaghetti, 201 00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:35,793 trying really hard not to let the noodles drip down my chin. 202 00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:40,790 Later, I guess I wasn't as self-conscious. 203 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:44,117 Oh, why? 204 00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:47,679 (Sighs) 205 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:51,560 Later, after David and I made love. 206 00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:58,799 I seduced him. 207 00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:02,558 (Laura sighs) 208 00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:05,831 - Have you read Lolita? - Sure. 209 00:13:06,680 --> 00:13:08,193 It's amazing because, uh, 210 00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:10,674 pretty much the same thing happened to me. 211 00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:20,868 That night when he came over for dinner, my dad was still at work. 212 00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:25,155 So we sat on the porch and... 213 00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:28,356 you know, caught up. 214 00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:32,070 I was painting my toenails. 215 00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:36,554 And it became pretty clear that he and Celia were having problems. 216 00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:40,229 He said just as much, which is why she hadn't joined him on the trip. 217 00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:46,239 So we were just sitting on the porch... swing. 218 00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:48,794 I was on one side. He was on the other. 219 00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:54,910 And I was resting my legs on his to dry my nails. 220 00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:59,837 And he was just asking about me, 221 00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:04,112 what was going on with me, and I started telling him about the Red Hot Chili Peppers. 222 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:07,070 God, I was so into them. 223 00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:11,033 At that stage where you're writing down the lyrics and analysing them and... 224 00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:13,310 and I started singing at the top of my lungs. 225 00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:16,909 (Singing Under The Bridge) 226 00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:19,076 And David joined in and we were so bad. 227 00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:21,509 I mean, we were screaming it. 228 00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:27,353 And then I felt his hardness 229 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,391 under my foot. 230 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:34,230 And we're just rocking in the swing and... 231 00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:36,669 the rhythm of it starts to take over. 232 00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:40,558 And I'm just rubbing him with my foot, 233 00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:44,354 although I've never done that before in my life, never. 234 00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:48,552 I had on this little skirt with these little flowers. 235 00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:51,398 And he pushed up my skirt with his finger. 236 00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:56,278 And his finger just started... 237 00:14:56,320 --> 00:15:00,074 climbing further and further up my thigh. 238 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:04,995 Then we see my father's Volvo coming down the street, 239 00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:08,350 so we ran over to help him with the groceries. 240 00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:09,992 And I remember laughing so hard 241 00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:14,033 because David was carrying his bag of groceries in front of his hard-on. 242 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:16,469 We were just cracking up like teenagers. 243 00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:22,597 And he stayed over that night in Oliver's room. 244 00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:27,117 At around one o'clock in the morning, I got up cos I couldn't sleep, 245 00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:30,072 and I walked down the corridor in the house. 246 00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:33,157 Oliver's room was at the back of the house and... 247 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:35,236 and I saw this light on. 248 00:15:35,280 --> 00:15:37,555 And the door was open, 249 00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:39,636 and he was waiting for me. 250 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:42,517 David. 251 00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:46,593 And we made love. It was... it was lovely. 252 00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:51,718 During the two months that he was in town, we made love almost every day, 253 00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:54,149 in the mornings when my dad went to work, 254 00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:57,909 but if he didn't have to be in court until the afternoon, 255 00:15:57,960 --> 00:15:59,871 I'd play hooky. 256 00:15:59,920 --> 00:16:02,195 Sometimes I'd go to his fancy hotel. 257 00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:06,156 I felt very important and grown-up... 258 00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:10,550 walking through that lobby in my mother's high heels. 259 00:16:15,280 --> 00:16:16,633 (Sighs) 260 00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:19,039 (Paul) Um... 261 00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:23,511 Did you ever feel that this man, 262 00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:26,916 that David was... was taking advantage of you? 263 00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:31,995 He wasn't taking advantage of me. I'm telling you. I seduced him. 264 00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:35,032 Well, Lolita seduces Humbert Humbert in the novel 265 00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:36,672 and she's only 12. 266 00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:41,280 Well, you disapprove, obviously. 267 00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:42,594 Yes, I do. 268 00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:45,279 What's the matter? You're making a judgment on me. 269 00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:48,278 You're allowing yourself to stray from the rules. 270 00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:52,790 It's too bad you weren't like this before, 271 00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:56,799 - willing to say what's on your mind. - Well, you never told me this before. 272 00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:02,833 It's our last session so I thought it was only right to tell you. 273 00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:08,033 Remember I told you that the guy from the debate society was my first? 274 00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:10,118 Yes. 275 00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:13,829 Well, David was my first. 276 00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:17,512 And I'm sorry. 277 00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:21,312 And what are you sorry for? 278 00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:24,835 For lying to you. 279 00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:33,149 I wasn't a victim, Paul. Don't look at me like that. I wasn't a victim. 280 00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:35,589 - Really? - I got into his bed. 281 00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:38,313 He was a 40-year-old man, for Christ's sake. 282 00:17:40,120 --> 00:17:42,998 He had a responsibility to send you away. 283 00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:47,916 - He was very gentle with me. - That's beside the point. 284 00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:50,952 He was 40 years old. He had a moral responsibility. 285 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:53,230 He should have known better. 286 00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:56,154 Let me ask you something. 287 00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,156 Do you feel... 288 00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:02,549 Do you feel any anger towards this man, towards David? 289 00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:05,160 Look, Paul, it's not such a big deal. 290 00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:07,998 He didn't hurt me. It didn't hurt at all. 291 00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:12,272 - It wasn't rape. - Where was your father during all this? 292 00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:16,314 (Sighs) He was asleep in the next room. 293 00:18:16,360 --> 00:18:19,432 Yes, but during the two months that David was... 294 00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:22,950 visiting, your father had no idea what was going on? 295 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:25,912 He was depressed and grieving. 296 00:18:27,360 --> 00:18:29,555 It wasn't even a year since my mother died. 297 00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:32,114 He needed someone to protect him, and guess who? 298 00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:33,388 I understand that, 299 00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:36,637 but children aren't supposed to take care of their parents. 300 00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:40,116 It's a burden that no child deserves. 301 00:18:41,360 --> 00:18:44,033 Do you feel any anger towards your father... 302 00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:48,633 for not being there to protect you, 303 00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:50,671 for not noticing? 304 00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:54,672 No resentment? 305 00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:01,553 OK, let's just say you could talk to your father now. 306 00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:02,999 What would you say to him? 307 00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:05,839 I have nothing to say to him. 308 00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:08,713 But just imagine for a moment if you were face to face... 309 00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:11,149 and you were... 310 00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:13,794 talking about this incident. 311 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:16,595 What do you think you might say to him? 312 00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:18,631 Have you ever spoken to your father in that way? 313 00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:20,033 I wish I could. 314 00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:23,436 So because you can't talk to your father, you're asking me to talk to mine? 315 00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:25,038 That's not what I'm saying. 316 00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:26,957 I think it's important 317 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:32,199 that you talk to your father about this while it's still possible. 318 00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:34,629 Not for his sake... 319 00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:38,308 but for yours. 320 00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:41,317 Yeah? 321 00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:45,555 Can I have something to drink... other than water? 322 00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:49,113 - Sure. - Do you have any soda? 323 00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:58,193 So this is the famous coffee machine, huh? 324 00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:00,595 Alex's famous coffee machine, yeah. 325 00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:02,437 How do you use it? 326 00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:03,879 Um... 327 00:20:06,120 --> 00:20:08,315 (Whispers) Excuse me. 328 00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:15,312 - He's such a coffee freak, Alex. - Uh-huh. 329 00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:19,073 It's the best smell, don't you think? 330 00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:31,360 You know that this thing with me and Alex is over. 331 00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:34,351 I ended it. 332 00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:38,554 - Are you relieved? - (Sighs) 333 00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:46,879 Jesus, Paul, look at you. 334 00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:49,832 How can you... how can you live like this? 335 00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:53,555 Can't you just say or... or do something on impulse? 336 00:20:57,760 --> 00:20:59,159 (Sighs) 337 00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:07,957 You know that I connected that girl to the wrong tube. 338 00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:15,072 I inflated her like a balloon. 339 00:21:15,120 --> 00:21:17,680 And I almost killed her, and you know why? 340 00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:23,834 Because I was thinking about you. 341 00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:29,549 And I realised what an insane effect you're having on me and I... 342 00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:32,511 It has to stop. 343 00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:41,958 Laura. 344 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:44,594 We can continue to talk about this if you want. 345 00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:48,155 All of a sudden you're very generous with your time. 346 00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:57,315 For months I spent the week thinking, "It'll be this Monday. 347 00:21:57,360 --> 00:22:00,830 "I'll tell him that I love him and he'll tell me that he loves me, 348 00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:03,917 "and the session won't be 50 minutes, it'll go forever." 349 00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:11,998 But then Monday would come and I wouldn't dare say anything. 350 00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:15,635 And the session would end and I would just walk out of here thinking, 351 00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:17,671 "Fuck! 352 00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:20,829 "I didn't say anything again. 353 00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:26,557 "Now I have to wait a whole other week for my life to begin." 354 00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:33,189 I can't continue, Paul. 355 00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:37,234 Every minute here is tearing me apart. 356 00:24:56,440 --> 00:24:57,429 English SDH