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Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
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I'm taking some time off
from work--
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00:00:37,208 --> 00:00:38,677
well, my other work--
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because
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we needed it.
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It's great.
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It's great.
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The phone's been ringing
off the hook.
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The guys in Philly
are kind of going nuts.
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But that doesn't matter.
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This does.
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It's the only thing
that matters.
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We've had some
really nice days together.
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Mm-hmm.
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- Nice morning, too.
- Beesly. Oh, my God.
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Hey.
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Which tie makes me look
like a guy who likes sofas?
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My agent's putting me up
for a furniture commercial.
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Ah.
Definitely blue.
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Totally, right?
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So, big tuna, what's up?
Back in the small pond?
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For now, yeah, yeah.
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I was just spreading myself
way too thin--
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Thin-sliced tuna.
Carpaccio.
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Go on.
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Uh, well, it took me a while.
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But I finally realized that
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I can't give 100% to two
things at once, you know?
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Yeah.
Tell me about it.
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I've been trying to act
and manage this branch.
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Half the time,
I don't know if I'm wearing
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my stage makeup
or my work makeup.
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Huh.
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00:01:49,445 --> 00:01:50,812
Well, you know,
you can't have everything,
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00:01:50,831 --> 00:01:53,218
so you gotta ask yourself
what makes you the happiest.
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You just go all in
for what's most important.
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That's my new thing.
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Is everything okay?
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00:02:13,968 --> 00:02:17,297
No.
Everything is not okay.
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The county took my cats.
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Wait, all of them?
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Two sacks' worth.
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Apparently, my apartment
complex has rules
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about how many pets
are too many for a studio.
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And while I was out
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picking Philip up from
daycare, they came.
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They came into my house.
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That's-- that's awful, Angela.
I'm so sorry.
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It's the bitch
that lives downstairs.
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She's this uptight,
judgmental shrew.
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You know the type.
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I've never met anyone like that.
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And they're gone.
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And I have no one left.
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Without my cats, I am utterly
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and completely alone.
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- Angela, you still have your son.
- [Scoffs]
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I guess.
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Attention, everyone.
May I have your attention?
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00:03:16,185 --> 00:03:20,921
There are four new
deadly weapons in this office.
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Basher, thrasher,
crasher, and--
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Smasher.
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"Smasher"? No.
Where'd you get that?
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Fireball.
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Cut!
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This morning, after hours of combat
with some of the city's best teenagers,
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I earned my black belt
in goju ryu martial arts.
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I had to find a new dojo after
Sensei Ira and I parted ways.
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My new sensei, Sensei Billy,
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thought I had more than enough
training to take the test.
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Turns out Sensei Ira
was a bit of a shyster.
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Sensei Billy says most students
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don't spend $150,000
over 20 years
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to get their black belt.
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I would like to invite you all
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to my black belt ceremony, right
here in the office at lunch,
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lunch not provided.
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- Fireball!
- Ahh!
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That's how it's done.
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That's pretty good.
I feel safe.
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[Whispering] Hey, Erin.
Is Andy in?
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Oh, is Andy in?
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Sorry, I-I thought
you said "is Indian?"
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00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:36,434
And I was like,
"is Indian what?"
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[Chuckles]
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Is Indian food good?
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00:04:39,393 --> 00:04:41,277
Is Indian jewelry pretty?
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Is Indian hair an
expensive kind of wig?
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Yes to all three, by the way.
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00:04:45,801 --> 00:04:47,760
Lately, I've been
having a lot of trouble
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00:04:47,782 --> 00:04:49,316
keeping track
of Andy's calendar.
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His student film audition
schedule is crazy hectic.
93
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Yes.
There's Andy.
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Andy is in.
I'm a good receptionist.
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I know he's in.
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00:04:56,199 --> 00:04:58,938
David Walrus
in his native habitat.
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[Laughs uncomfortably]
98
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Hey, Andy. Can we go in
your office and talk?
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00:05:01,684 --> 00:05:02,385
Yeah.
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00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:04,511
This isn't gonna
be an easy conversation.
101
00:05:04,993 --> 00:05:06,853
I told Andy that he was
on very thin ice
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00:05:06,874 --> 00:05:09,460
when he snuck away for three
months to the Caribbean.
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00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:11,641
Then last week,
he used company money
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00:05:11,654 --> 00:05:13,894
to buy a top-of-the-line
photo printer.
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In his words, "the kind
that's good for head shots."
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And yesterday, he asked me
to pay for cheek implants.
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Claimed it's going
to boost office morale.
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00:05:22,857 --> 00:05:24,403
Now, he's a good guy.
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00:05:24,421 --> 00:05:26,659
But honestly,
at a certain point,
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the ice gets too thin,
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and you fall through.
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And that is when you get fired.
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- Andy.
- I'm gonna stop you right there.
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David, this documentary
is going to air in two weeks.
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I feel like it's a once in a lifetime
opportunity to pursue my dream.
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Uh-huh.
But--
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Every minute that I spend here
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is time not spent
making audition videos
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for reality dating,
cooking, or singing shows.
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I got a real shot here.
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00:05:57,664 --> 00:06:00,883
And I'll never be able
to forgive myself
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if I blew it because I was too focused
on my stupid paper company job.
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No offense.
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So you think you've been
too focused on your job?
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00:06:08,423 --> 00:06:09,878
At my last head shot sitting,
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00:06:09,896 --> 00:06:12,583
I was so distracted wondering
what I was missing at work
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00:06:12,611 --> 00:06:14,412
that I came across
totally manic.
128
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And I was going for zany.
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[Chuckles]
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So you-- you want
to quit Dunder Mifflin
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to pursue acting?
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Well, no, actually.
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00:06:24,933 --> 00:06:28,566
I see no reason to limit
myself to just acting.
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00:06:29,045 --> 00:06:31,865
I am pursuing fame of any kind.
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Could be singing.
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00:06:33,842 --> 00:06:36,155
Could be dancing.
I don't-- it just--
137
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I owe it to myself
and my future fans.
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00:06:40,563 --> 00:06:43,151
Uh, well, I guess I can't stand
139
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in the way of a man's dream.
140
00:06:46,217 --> 00:06:48,527
And it seems
like you have the gift.
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00:06:51,403 --> 00:06:53,137
Thank you, David.
142
00:06:53,546 --> 00:06:56,403
There's probably no way I can talk
you into staying at this point, huh?
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00:06:56,756 --> 00:06:58,837
Nope.
I have made up my mind.
144
00:06:58,858 --> 00:06:59,941
I'm really sorry.
145
00:07:00,107 --> 00:07:01,332
Well, good luck.
146
00:07:01,356 --> 00:07:03,311
Hey, thank you.
147
00:07:03,323 --> 00:07:04,667
Not gonna need it.
148
00:07:04,726 --> 00:07:06,931
- Okay.
- [Chuckles]
149
00:07:10,839 --> 00:07:12,173
[Exhales]
150
00:07:12,545 --> 00:07:13,512
[Laughs]
151
00:07:13,545 --> 00:07:15,636
Well, that kind of worked out.
152
00:07:16,155 --> 00:07:18,827
I think just about
anybody could be a star.
153
00:07:18,839 --> 00:07:21,044
My postman,
the night janitor here--
154
00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:23,470
but Andy?
No, definitely not.
155
00:07:23,772 --> 00:07:25,323
Charisma black hole.
156
00:07:30,087 --> 00:07:31,282
Oh.
157
00:07:31,307 --> 00:07:32,689
Clark.
158
00:07:33,199 --> 00:07:35,459
I'm actually here today.
Surprise.
159
00:07:35,484 --> 00:07:37,804
So I was wondering if maybe
I could have my desk back.
160
00:07:37,835 --> 00:07:38,886
Right.
161
00:07:38,911 --> 00:07:40,201
Yeah. But,
162
00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:44,184
you know, I've actually been working
pretty hard here on a daily basis. So...
163
00:07:44,237 --> 00:07:45,775
I kind of feel
like I've earned this.
164
00:07:45,805 --> 00:07:48,006
- I mean, you know?
- You totally have. You have earned it.
165
00:07:48,022 --> 00:07:50,674
But maybe I could
be with my wife.
166
00:07:50,984 --> 00:07:52,623
It's kind of the whole
reason why I'm here.
167
00:07:52,641 --> 00:07:53,786
Right.
168
00:07:53,821 --> 00:07:55,311
Well, I'm here to sell paper.
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00:07:55,336 --> 00:07:56,481
[Knocks on desk]
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00:07:56,707 --> 00:07:59,217
- Burn.
- Wow.
171
00:08:01,919 --> 00:08:05,061
All right, Jim, look.
I just got made junior salesman.
172
00:08:05,110 --> 00:08:06,847
Right?
And-- and Wallace is here today.
173
00:08:06,859 --> 00:08:09,258
And I don't want him
to just think of me as
174
00:08:09,296 --> 00:08:11,967
a customer service rep
that sits in the annex.
175
00:08:12,011 --> 00:08:13,249
I mean, you can
get that, right?
176
00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:14,310
Right?
177
00:08:14,335 --> 00:08:16,485
And what do you need
more face time with Wallace for?
178
00:08:16,519 --> 00:08:20,909
You trying to get a--
a second second job here?
179
00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:22,891
It's okay.
180
00:08:22,904 --> 00:08:24,825
- You can sit in the annex.
- What?
181
00:08:25,092 --> 00:08:27,336
I'll come visit you.
182
00:08:29,983 --> 00:08:31,289
Okay.
183
00:08:31,746 --> 00:08:33,380
The annex it is.
184
00:08:33,612 --> 00:08:35,416
I'll be sitting at your desk,
185
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:38,088
- if that's okay with you.
- It's fine with me. Have fun.
186
00:08:38,139 --> 00:08:41,114
But be careful. It is
very easy to get lost
187
00:08:41,124 --> 00:08:43,967
in Pete's beautiful, dead eyes.
188
00:08:45,544 --> 00:08:48,763
Everyone,
a little breaking news for you.
189
00:08:49,248 --> 00:08:50,986
Just had a little chat
with David Wallace.
190
00:08:51,010 --> 00:08:53,361
And, um, I'm taking
a leave of absence
191
00:08:53,414 --> 00:08:56,133
from Dunder Mifflin forever.
192
00:08:56,572 --> 00:08:58,416
I can't say
we didn't see it coming,
193
00:08:58,459 --> 00:09:00,975
but it's a sad day
when anybody is fired.
194
00:09:00,993 --> 00:09:02,706
- We're so sorry, Andy.
- Uh, uh, uh, uh,
195
00:09:02,730 --> 00:09:05,368
- Andy was not fired.
- I wasn't fired.
196
00:09:05,768 --> 00:09:07,612
[Chuckling]
What are you talking about?
197
00:09:07,970 --> 00:09:10,187
I'm fired up.
198
00:09:10,218 --> 00:09:11,612
Yes.
199
00:09:11,743 --> 00:09:13,715
Guys, I'm--
I'm leaving to pursue
200
00:09:13,733 --> 00:09:16,698
my lifelong dream
of being famous.
201
00:09:16,983 --> 00:09:19,258
Oh, Andy.
[All mumbling]
202
00:09:19,314 --> 00:09:22,745
Yeah, so I'll see you
on the red carpet.
203
00:09:23,187 --> 00:09:24,988
[Solitary clapping,
mumbling continues]
204
00:09:25,220 --> 00:09:27,671
'Cause see,
that's how it works.
205
00:09:28,003 --> 00:09:30,540
Andy sings beautifully,
206
00:09:30,752 --> 00:09:32,511
and he's really good
at dancing.
207
00:09:32,535 --> 00:09:34,377
He's a good speaker.
208
00:09:34,413 --> 00:09:37,949
But there's just something there
you don't want to look at.
209
00:09:39,564 --> 00:09:41,902
Hey, how am I doing it as
your desk mate, by the way?
210
00:09:42,127 --> 00:09:44,263
You probably miss Clark.
211
00:09:44,524 --> 00:09:46,406
Yeah, a little bit.
212
00:09:46,561 --> 00:09:48,562
Oh, wow. But, um--
213
00:09:48,615 --> 00:09:51,096
- oh, I get that--
- Oh, no, no. No, it's cool.
214
00:09:51,125 --> 00:09:53,093
- I get it.
- It's cool, man.
215
00:09:53,137 --> 00:09:56,108
I'm sure you and I
will have our own thing.
216
00:09:56,169 --> 00:09:58,453
Yeah.
Definitely.
217
00:09:58,625 --> 00:10:00,625
Go Phillies, right?
218
00:10:00,973 --> 00:10:02,729
You don't watch baseball.
219
00:10:02,754 --> 00:10:04,432
I keep forgetting that.
220
00:10:04,591 --> 00:10:07,085
I just think you're going
into this a little fast.
221
00:10:07,285 --> 00:10:09,810
I'm 38, Darryl.
How much slower should I go?
222
00:10:09,853 --> 00:10:11,759
Show business is cold.
223
00:10:11,843 --> 00:10:14,353
Let's say you get a job,
which you probably won't.
224
00:10:14,370 --> 00:10:16,569
They're not gonna
cut you any slack.
225
00:10:16,793 --> 00:10:19,438
You're meant for a job
with lots and lots of slack.
226
00:10:19,469 --> 00:10:21,020
[Chuckles]
227
00:10:21,071 --> 00:10:23,259
All right.
I get it.
228
00:10:23,422 --> 00:10:27,492
The male is a funny species.
229
00:10:27,926 --> 00:10:29,561
We don't just tell each other
how we feel.
230
00:10:29,581 --> 00:10:30,914
That's chick stuff.
231
00:10:31,037 --> 00:10:32,932
So instead of saying,
232
00:10:32,975 --> 00:10:35,331
"Hey, Andy, I love you, man.
233
00:10:35,463 --> 00:10:37,298
I don't want you to leave,"
234
00:10:37,329 --> 00:10:40,259
you say something like,
235
00:10:40,296 --> 00:10:42,271
"Hey, Andy, you're making
the worst mistake of your life.
236
00:10:42,290 --> 00:10:44,035
You're not talented."
237
00:10:44,691 --> 00:10:46,586
Well...
238
00:10:47,825 --> 00:10:50,193
right back at you, Darryl.
239
00:10:54,794 --> 00:10:56,326
[Sighs]
240
00:10:56,693 --> 00:10:58,858
I'm gonna miss you, too.
241
00:11:01,714 --> 00:11:02,590
Mmm!
242
00:11:02,596 --> 00:11:05,624
Andy's from the generation that
thinks they should all be famous.
243
00:11:05,668 --> 00:11:09,350
What happened to the generation that
knew you shut up, did your work,
244
00:11:09,387 --> 00:11:11,688
and died quietly
from a heart attack?
245
00:11:12,110 --> 00:11:14,831
Could Andy make it
as an entertainer?
246
00:11:15,018 --> 00:11:16,034
I don't know.
247
00:11:16,075 --> 00:11:17,743
You know who's really funny?
248
00:11:17,773 --> 00:11:21,098
This bird in the park
that can't fly right.
249
00:11:21,164 --> 00:11:23,099
I'd pay to see him.
250
00:11:23,189 --> 00:11:26,758
But I don't have to,
'cause the park is free.
251
00:11:29,984 --> 00:11:31,701
- Hyuh! Hyah!
- Hyuh! Hyah!
252
00:11:31,886 --> 00:11:34,395
I will now perform the ceremonial
changing of the belts.
253
00:11:34,420 --> 00:11:37,607
[Shouting] He will now perform the
ceremonial changing of the belts.
254
00:11:37,756 --> 00:11:39,769
It's not a large room.
I think they heard me.
255
00:11:39,875 --> 00:11:41,575
Take my belt, master.
256
00:11:41,595 --> 00:11:44,879
I now submit to you
every part of myself.
257
00:11:44,904 --> 00:11:45,742
That's really okay.
258
00:11:45,764 --> 00:11:47,965
I'm mostly focused
on the belt here.
259
00:11:48,322 --> 00:11:50,410
Just slip it off my--
slip it off my hips.
260
00:11:50,435 --> 00:11:51,724
Hold it--
261
00:11:51,771 --> 00:11:53,055
take a step back.
262
00:11:53,074 --> 00:11:54,740
Take a step back.
263
00:11:57,224 --> 00:11:58,351
[Sighs]
264
00:11:58,367 --> 00:11:59,843
Okay, okay,
I can't--
265
00:11:59,871 --> 00:12:03,123
I can't do this if you're gonna
be thrusting like that, okay?
266
00:12:03,146 --> 00:12:05,882
I think we're gonna
have to cut this off.
267
00:12:06,947 --> 00:12:11,042
He will now perform the ceremonial
cutting off of the belt.
268
00:12:11,495 --> 00:12:13,279
He-- oh.
269
00:12:13,354 --> 00:12:15,471
[Sighs]
270
00:12:15,548 --> 00:12:17,397
Gah!
271
00:12:17,422 --> 00:12:18,761
Hyah!
272
00:12:18,930 --> 00:12:21,993
Dwight has been practicing
karate for years.
273
00:12:22,061 --> 00:12:23,374
When we were dating,
274
00:12:23,414 --> 00:12:25,782
I would help him
with his strength training.
275
00:12:25,860 --> 00:12:27,828
He would strap me to his chest
276
00:12:27,844 --> 00:12:30,863
in a Baby Bjorn made
for fat children
277
00:12:30,897 --> 00:12:33,734
and do lunges across the farm.
278
00:12:34,868 --> 00:12:37,102
I felt like I was flying.
279
00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:38,490
There it is.
[Applause]
280
00:12:38,527 --> 00:12:40,045
[Grunts]
281
00:12:40,064 --> 00:12:42,926
- Congratulations.
- We did it, we did it.
282
00:12:43,867 --> 00:12:45,105
- I love you.
- Okay.
283
00:12:45,132 --> 00:12:47,041
Thanks.
284
00:12:47,995 --> 00:12:48,858
[Clears throat]
285
00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:52,840
I will now perform
my final kata forms.
286
00:12:52,868 --> 00:12:55,425
- You're going to watch me, right?
- Yes, I will.
287
00:12:55,953 --> 00:12:59,289
[Shouting]
288
00:12:59,466 --> 00:13:01,210
- Sensei, you're not watching.
- Yeah, I'm watching.
289
00:13:01,242 --> 00:13:02,742
Just do it.
290
00:13:02,758 --> 00:13:05,760
[Shouting]
291
00:13:05,781 --> 00:13:07,585
[Exhales]
292
00:13:11,594 --> 00:13:13,511
Ho!
Ha!
293
00:13:13,668 --> 00:13:15,193
- Watching?
- I'm watching.
294
00:13:15,223 --> 00:13:15,881
[Grunting]
295
00:13:15,918 --> 00:13:18,090
Watch this part, okay?
296
00:13:18,313 --> 00:13:20,772
Huh, gah!
Gah!
297
00:13:20,816 --> 00:13:24,423
- Ha, ha, whoo.
- Oh!
298
00:13:25,266 --> 00:13:28,985
Sensei, do you generally
do house calls like this?
299
00:13:29,022 --> 00:13:30,748
Uh, you can just call me Billy.
300
00:13:30,912 --> 00:13:33,037
And no.
No, but Dwight insisted.
301
00:13:33,055 --> 00:13:36,643
He wanted to receive his black belt in
the place he loves most in the world.
302
00:13:36,692 --> 00:13:37,717
He said that?
303
00:13:37,790 --> 00:13:40,153
[Dwight continues
karate shouts]
304
00:13:40,500 --> 00:13:42,963
- He's an odd guy, isn't he?
- Yes.
305
00:13:45,762 --> 00:13:47,692
Irritating?
Also yes.
306
00:13:47,738 --> 00:13:49,349
But I've got to hand it to him,
307
00:13:49,374 --> 00:13:52,529
he is one of the most tenacious
and determined men I've ever met.
308
00:13:52,606 --> 00:13:54,573
Hyuah! Hah!
309
00:13:55,483 --> 00:13:56,796
Hut!
310
00:13:57,076 --> 00:13:58,981
[Exhales]
311
00:13:59,718 --> 00:14:01,034
Ha-- ah!
312
00:14:01,272 --> 00:14:03,426
Unh! Kyah!
313
00:14:04,389 --> 00:14:06,515
[Growls softly]
314
00:14:07,773 --> 00:14:10,461
Ha! Ahah! Aah!
315
00:14:10,505 --> 00:14:14,104
[Applause]
316
00:14:14,487 --> 00:14:15,900
Oh!
317
00:14:15,937 --> 00:14:18,814
I am so proud of you,
schrooberry blue.
318
00:14:18,840 --> 00:14:21,708
[Laughter]
319
00:14:23,482 --> 00:14:25,382
I really felt like
I almost lost her.
320
00:14:25,416 --> 00:14:27,469
And-- and nothing
is worth that.
321
00:14:27,656 --> 00:14:30,251
Well, I tell you, Jim, a
lot of guys in my circle?
322
00:14:30,276 --> 00:14:32,243
They wouldn't even
change their golf schedule
323
00:14:32,270 --> 00:14:36,739
to shore up their marriage, let
alone their professional goals.
324
00:14:38,873 --> 00:14:43,110
Dude, there is no way that Jim is just
back here to "hang out with Pam."
325
00:14:43,394 --> 00:14:44,592
[Scoffs]
326
00:14:44,629 --> 00:14:46,629
You did not just say that.
327
00:14:46,748 --> 00:14:49,521
You don't know Pam.
She is really cool.
328
00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:52,409
All I'm saying is,
forget about my chair.
329
00:14:52,465 --> 00:14:54,466
He wants the manager's chair.
330
00:14:54,506 --> 00:14:56,198
And I thought
you wanted that job.
331
00:14:56,282 --> 00:14:58,359
Yeah, I did. But...
332
00:14:58,541 --> 00:15:00,634
I made too many mistakes.
333
00:15:00,849 --> 00:15:02,789
It's out of my reach now.
334
00:15:03,023 --> 00:15:06,145
Besides, I think Jim
would be a fine manager.
335
00:15:07,616 --> 00:15:10,430
I'd be happy to see
Jim as manager.
336
00:15:11,298 --> 00:15:15,038
So the reason I called you in here
is because Andy is moving on.
337
00:15:15,073 --> 00:15:16,135
Again.
338
00:15:16,477 --> 00:15:17,890
Again.
[Chuckles]
339
00:15:17,915 --> 00:15:20,844
And I'm looking
for a new manager.
340
00:15:22,324 --> 00:15:24,775
And with his
performance this year,
341
00:15:25,095 --> 00:15:27,614
I have been considering Dwight.
342
00:15:29,093 --> 00:15:30,996
Am I crazy?
343
00:15:32,222 --> 00:15:33,746
Not at all.
344
00:15:34,072 --> 00:15:36,072
It should be Dwight.
345
00:15:37,274 --> 00:15:38,698
[Sighs]
346
00:15:39,154 --> 00:15:40,754
You sure?
347
00:15:40,976 --> 00:15:43,176
You're going to want to invest in
a lot more liability insurance,
348
00:15:43,201 --> 00:15:44,756
- but, uh...
- Yeah.
349
00:15:44,805 --> 00:15:47,813
Hey, if there's someone who
loves paper more than Dwight,
350
00:15:48,127 --> 00:15:50,167
I definitely don't want
to meet that person.
351
00:15:50,185 --> 00:15:51,931
[Chuckles]
352
00:15:52,655 --> 00:15:53,759
[Sighs]
353
00:15:55,419 --> 00:15:59,266
Andy, we just wondered
if we could have a word.
354
00:15:59,552 --> 00:16:00,745
It's now or never.
355
00:16:00,776 --> 00:16:04,442
Well, we just had a quick question
about this decision of yours.
356
00:16:04,742 --> 00:16:07,160
You know, to leave a stable job
357
00:16:07,214 --> 00:16:10,414
and pursue a career
in the entertainment business
358
00:16:10,790 --> 00:16:12,091
in your late 30s
359
00:16:12,131 --> 00:16:14,252
with no savings to fall back on
360
00:16:14,302 --> 00:16:16,677
and no real connections
in that business,
361
00:16:16,711 --> 00:16:19,086
which can be competitive.
362
00:16:19,706 --> 00:16:21,559
Yeah, sure.
What's your question?
363
00:16:21,615 --> 00:16:23,946
Our question is--
364
00:16:24,879 --> 00:16:27,414
it seems dumb.
365
00:16:27,698 --> 00:16:31,259
Well, it's better than sticking around
here and half-assing it, right?
366
00:16:31,277 --> 00:16:32,610
Of course.
367
00:16:32,946 --> 00:16:37,201
But what if you were
to stay here,
368
00:16:37,255 --> 00:16:39,050
you know, and
369
00:16:39,075 --> 00:16:40,694
"full-ass" it?
370
00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:42,990
- Yeah.
- Um, really give it a go?
371
00:16:43,014 --> 00:16:46,228
Be the greatest manager
in the history of this branch
372
00:16:46,264 --> 00:16:47,531
and in that way,
373
00:16:47,571 --> 00:16:49,962
achieve the fame
and immortality that you seek?
374
00:16:50,035 --> 00:16:51,526
Hmm?
375
00:16:52,063 --> 00:16:54,264
Nah.
I like my plan better.
376
00:16:54,342 --> 00:16:58,045
Well, Andy,
your plan sucks, okay?
377
00:16:58,082 --> 00:17:01,150
Nobody is going
to hire you ever.
378
00:17:01,185 --> 00:17:04,243
You're too character-y
to be a lead,
379
00:17:04,300 --> 00:17:07,235
and you're not fat enough
to be a great character actor.
380
00:17:07,931 --> 00:17:09,419
What?
381
00:17:09,625 --> 00:17:12,725
No, I don't think he can
make it as an actor.
382
00:17:12,781 --> 00:17:16,697
But he also can't make it as
an employee in an office, so,
383
00:17:17,083 --> 00:17:19,560
you know,
why not go nuts with it?
384
00:17:20,259 --> 00:17:23,285
Hey, are you still in charge
of office supplies?
385
00:17:23,699 --> 00:17:25,623
Yes. Yeah.
386
00:17:25,664 --> 00:17:27,549
I seem to have
a sticky note emergency,
387
00:17:27,551 --> 00:17:29,426
where I grab it
on the wrong end,
388
00:17:29,444 --> 00:17:31,769
- and then, this happens.
- Oh, boy, um--
389
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:34,114
If you could help me
out, that would be--
390
00:17:34,244 --> 00:17:36,916
I could give you
some beginner stickies?
391
00:17:36,986 --> 00:17:38,990
- Anything would help. Thank you.
- Okay.
392
00:17:39,126 --> 00:17:41,120
- Here you go.
- Oh, also, while you're at it,
393
00:17:41,138 --> 00:17:45,194
if you did have a salt packet, three
tacks, and some aspirin, that'd be great.
394
00:17:45,215 --> 00:17:47,479
- Oh, wow. You have that.
- Mm-hmm.
395
00:17:47,497 --> 00:17:49,517
- Wow, that's--
- It's all yours.
396
00:17:49,533 --> 00:17:51,701
- You come so prepared.
- [Chuckles]
397
00:17:51,877 --> 00:17:53,652
Aspirin.
398
00:17:53,787 --> 00:17:56,205
If you want to get rid of a headache,
you sit on something sharp.
399
00:17:56,238 --> 00:17:58,192
Any sensei will tell you that.
400
00:17:58,355 --> 00:18:01,688
Hey, congratulations
on that black belt, man.
401
00:18:02,087 --> 00:18:04,002
It's really great.
402
00:18:04,442 --> 00:18:06,148
Thank you.
403
00:18:07,501 --> 00:18:09,576
So I saw you talking
to Wallace earlier.
404
00:18:09,588 --> 00:18:11,548
Is he going to offer you
the manager's job?
405
00:18:11,592 --> 00:18:13,277
No.
406
00:18:13,569 --> 00:18:15,557
He was maybe thinking
of you for it.
407
00:18:15,588 --> 00:18:17,182
Yeah, right.
408
00:18:17,533 --> 00:18:19,847
I'm afraid that ship has sailed.
409
00:18:19,939 --> 00:18:21,862
I wouldn't be too
sure about that.
410
00:18:22,608 --> 00:18:24,587
Just saying.
411
00:18:28,702 --> 00:18:30,377
[Whistling]
412
00:18:31,243 --> 00:18:32,736
[Whistling]
413
00:18:32,758 --> 00:18:34,639
- Hello.
- Well, hello.
414
00:18:34,670 --> 00:18:35,820
Big day for you.
415
00:18:35,825 --> 00:18:37,409
- Big day for you.
- Thank you.
416
00:18:37,437 --> 00:18:39,188
- Love the belt.
- Oh, yes.
417
00:18:39,207 --> 00:18:40,605
You know, I don't know
anything about karate,
418
00:18:40,624 --> 00:18:42,375
but I have broken
a few boards in my day.
419
00:18:42,393 --> 00:18:43,487
- Hi-yah.
- [Chuckles]
420
00:18:43,516 --> 00:18:44,738
Diving boards
421
00:18:44,763 --> 00:18:46,539
at my family pool in Redding.
422
00:18:46,559 --> 00:18:47,972
I was an obese child.
423
00:18:48,024 --> 00:18:50,312
I never talk about that here, but
424
00:18:50,693 --> 00:18:53,137
nard-dog's outta here,
so lettin' it all hang out.
425
00:18:53,150 --> 00:18:54,191
This is exciting.
426
00:18:54,216 --> 00:18:56,564
You're finally gonna get
to go out and flap your wings.
427
00:18:56,612 --> 00:18:58,713
Thank you.
I appreciate that.
428
00:18:58,741 --> 00:19:00,735
'Cause a lot of people
are saying I might not make it.
429
00:19:00,768 --> 00:19:02,197
Oh, I doubt you'll make it.
430
00:19:02,338 --> 00:19:04,007
Very few do
who try to be a star.
431
00:19:04,038 --> 00:19:06,257
But listen,
you've saved up enough money
432
00:19:06,275 --> 00:19:07,632
to take a couple of years off,
433
00:19:07,644 --> 00:19:10,175
and pursue your dream,
and have some fun, right?
434
00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:13,498
No, I just applied
for more overdraft protection.
435
00:19:13,834 --> 00:19:14,997
Andy,
436
00:19:15,022 --> 00:19:16,810
I have nothing to gain
from getting you to stay,
437
00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:18,587
and everything to gain
from you leaving.
438
00:19:18,616 --> 00:19:21,943
But please, I have known you for years.
I have seen you perform.
439
00:19:22,073 --> 00:19:24,594
Dear God,
don't quit your day job.
440
00:19:27,348 --> 00:19:28,914
[Cockney accent]
Nothing is impossible
441
00:19:28,945 --> 00:19:30,944
to him who will try.
442
00:19:30,969 --> 00:19:33,971
Alexander the Great,
if he were Cockney.
443
00:19:35,940 --> 00:19:37,863
You're bad.
444
00:19:41,745 --> 00:19:44,089
I'm gonna make it.
445
00:19:44,765 --> 00:19:46,296
Every person
who's been on Conan
446
00:19:46,315 --> 00:19:48,839
has a crazy story
about how they made it.
447
00:19:49,611 --> 00:19:51,261
Every person.
448
00:19:51,976 --> 00:19:53,513
Erin.
449
00:19:53,622 --> 00:19:55,712
Honest Erin.
Cannot tell a lie.
450
00:19:55,743 --> 00:19:57,877
- Oh.
- We lay together.
451
00:19:57,917 --> 00:20:00,370
That's something
you can't take back.
452
00:20:01,237 --> 00:20:02,844
So true.
453
00:20:03,259 --> 00:20:05,784
Is there a question,
or are-- what?
454
00:20:05,803 --> 00:20:07,166
Will you tell me bluntly?
455
00:20:07,185 --> 00:20:09,341
Do you think I'm making
a terrible mistake
456
00:20:09,372 --> 00:20:11,541
quitting my job
to become an actor?
457
00:20:11,825 --> 00:20:13,144
Bluntly?
458
00:20:13,169 --> 00:20:14,119
Yes.
459
00:20:14,143 --> 00:20:15,485
Huge mistake.
460
00:20:15,509 --> 00:20:18,555
Andy, honestly, I think
you might become homeless
461
00:20:19,066 --> 00:20:21,147
or maybe even starve.
462
00:20:22,723 --> 00:20:24,461
Thank you.
463
00:20:30,485 --> 00:20:33,084
You can stay on
as a salesman, Andy.
464
00:20:34,448 --> 00:20:36,253
Thank you.
465
00:20:40,250 --> 00:20:41,851
[Clears throat]
466
00:20:42,244 --> 00:20:44,782
Dwight, could you come in here
for a second, please?
467
00:21:04,745 --> 00:21:06,245
Say it again.
468
00:21:06,270 --> 00:21:09,301
Will you be the new manager?
469
00:21:09,756 --> 00:21:11,563
Where?
470
00:21:11,901 --> 00:21:13,688
- Where?
- What branch?
471
00:21:13,775 --> 00:21:16,039
Here. Scranton.
472
00:21:20,491 --> 00:21:22,189
Come on.
473
00:21:22,235 --> 00:21:24,403
Come on, Dwight.
Get up.
474
00:21:24,458 --> 00:21:27,276
Let's go.
It's good news.
475
00:21:27,682 --> 00:21:29,281
I'm sorry.
476
00:21:29,513 --> 00:21:32,232
I've just waited for this
moment my entire life.
477
00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:33,899
I mean, I was
interim manager once,
478
00:21:33,911 --> 00:21:35,518
but then I shot that gun.
479
00:21:35,563 --> 00:21:36,508
What?
480
00:21:36,527 --> 00:21:38,617
But this isn't interim manager.
481
00:21:38,745 --> 00:21:40,407
No.
482
00:21:41,568 --> 00:21:44,978
It's Dwight K. Schrute...
483
00:21:45,571 --> 00:21:47,238
Manager.
484
00:21:47,553 --> 00:21:48,909
Why do you already have this?
485
00:21:48,934 --> 00:21:51,400
In case Michael or Andy ever got
killed in a traffic accident
486
00:21:51,419 --> 00:21:53,225
and there was a trade show
on the same day.
487
00:21:53,250 --> 00:21:55,825
You will not regret
this decision, David.
488
00:21:55,877 --> 00:21:56,841
I know.
489
00:21:56,872 --> 00:22:00,657
I will never,
ever let you down.
490
00:22:00,832 --> 00:22:02,427
I know, Dwight.
491
00:22:02,911 --> 00:22:04,380
I know.
492
00:22:06,244 --> 00:22:07,544
[Laughs]
493
00:22:07,629 --> 00:22:09,162
Okay.
494
00:22:09,217 --> 00:22:11,835
Okay.
All righty.
495
00:22:11,888 --> 00:22:13,889
You're gonna do great.
496
00:22:31,835 --> 00:22:33,871
- Hey.
- Wow, hey.
497
00:22:33,896 --> 00:22:35,616
Hi.
498
00:22:36,869 --> 00:22:38,603
- [Exhales]
- What's up?
499
00:22:38,653 --> 00:22:41,477
- Um, I have a question.
- Okay.
500
00:22:41,712 --> 00:22:44,175
Oh, I had a question.
501
00:22:44,193 --> 00:22:45,775
Really?
502
00:22:46,245 --> 00:22:48,856
- I did!
- Yeah, totally you did.
503
00:22:48,883 --> 00:22:49,921
Super important.
504
00:22:49,946 --> 00:22:52,427
I need you to stay right here
while you think about it.
505
00:22:52,473 --> 00:22:53,606
- Okay.
- All right? I'm gonna wait.
506
00:22:53,622 --> 00:22:54,384
All right.
507
00:22:54,413 --> 00:22:56,497
I did not come back here
just to see you.
508
00:22:56,546 --> 00:22:58,714
No, I'm sure you did not.
509
00:22:58,895 --> 00:23:00,518
[Whispering]
What was your question?
510
00:23:00,549 --> 00:23:01,624
I don't know,
511
00:23:01,662 --> 00:23:03,543
but it might take me
a long time to figure it out.
512
00:23:03,567 --> 00:23:06,504
Well, then, I should figure out
things to do while I'm waiting.
513
00:23:06,522 --> 00:23:08,221
Exactly.
[Giggles]
514
00:23:13,448 --> 00:23:15,815
Hey, everybody.
I changed my mind.
515
00:23:16,117 --> 00:23:17,284
Not leaving.
516
00:23:17,319 --> 00:23:19,113
I'm gonna stay on in sales.
517
00:23:19,270 --> 00:23:22,025
Oh, thank God...
[Laughs]
518
00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:24,791
because sales could be
your best role yet.
519
00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:26,831
Hey.
Good choice, man.
520
00:23:26,901 --> 00:23:28,068
Seriously.
521
00:23:28,095 --> 00:23:30,126
Don't wanna see you
in a porn next year.
522
00:23:30,187 --> 00:23:31,262
Okay.
523
00:23:31,321 --> 00:23:34,318
Ooh, there's a great play
about a salesman.
524
00:23:34,386 --> 00:23:35,844
Death of a Salesman.
525
00:23:35,905 --> 00:23:37,321
I don't think so.
526
00:23:37,364 --> 00:23:39,518
Sure,Death of a Salesman
by Arthur Miller.
527
00:23:39,541 --> 00:23:41,242
It's a great play
about crushed dreams.
528
00:23:41,268 --> 00:23:42,649
Mm,
529
00:23:42,674 --> 00:23:46,501
no, this one was written
by Spongebob Squarepants.
530
00:23:54,973 --> 00:23:57,288
[Groans]
531
00:23:57,467 --> 00:23:59,579
Got any hot leads?
532
00:24:03,294 --> 00:24:05,378
See, so you just push
from under,
533
00:24:05,413 --> 00:24:08,203
and turn it around, and boom.
534
00:24:08,252 --> 00:24:10,271
Now, the staple crimps outward.
535
00:24:10,283 --> 00:24:11,446
I had no idea.
536
00:24:11,464 --> 00:24:13,817
And here, I've been stapling
the same way for 20 years
537
00:24:13,842 --> 00:24:15,198
like a frickin' sheep.
538
00:24:15,231 --> 00:24:17,864
- Look who's back.
- I'm back.
539
00:24:18,346 --> 00:24:20,729
Oh! Hey, look, and now,
it's like a double date.
540
00:24:20,784 --> 00:24:21,816
- Wow.
- [Laughs]
541
00:24:21,845 --> 00:24:24,269
'Cause, uh--
bop, bop.
542
00:24:24,299 --> 00:24:26,127
Tweedle-lee-doo.
[Sighs]
543
00:24:26,212 --> 00:24:28,939
Actually, maybe we should
go on a double date sometime.
544
00:24:28,957 --> 00:24:30,002
That'd be fun.
545
00:24:30,012 --> 00:24:31,548
Yeah, we should do that
for real sometime.
546
00:24:31,573 --> 00:24:34,104
Well, how about Thursday?
547
00:24:34,173 --> 00:24:36,457
Oh, well,
Thursday's tough because--
548
00:24:36,476 --> 00:24:37,878
Weeknights are actually
tough just because--
549
00:24:37,910 --> 00:24:39,891
- They are. That's true, yeah.
- Just forget it. [Giggles]
550
00:24:39,922 --> 00:24:42,062
- Forget I said anything.
- Oh.
551
00:24:49,216 --> 00:24:50,660
Attention, everyone.
552
00:24:50,695 --> 00:24:52,119
Just a quick announcement.
553
00:24:52,137 --> 00:24:54,649
Little reconfiguration
to the staff.
554
00:24:54,853 --> 00:24:57,357
- Dwight Schrute--
- David.
555
00:24:58,598 --> 00:25:00,950
Can I just do one thing while
you're making this announcement?
556
00:25:00,982 --> 00:25:02,865
And then, I'll never,
ever do it again.
557
00:25:02,889 --> 00:25:04,701
- I don't think so.
- But it's just one thing.
558
00:25:04,733 --> 00:25:06,450
- Just let me-- let me do this--
- Dwight, Dwight, Dwight. Come on--
559
00:25:06,479 --> 00:25:08,295
what I was about
to say is Dwight--
560
00:25:08,312 --> 00:25:10,511
[Cell phone vibrates]
561
00:25:10,961 --> 00:25:12,178
Oh.
562
00:25:12,225 --> 00:25:13,564
I-I'm sorry,
I gotta--
563
00:25:13,589 --> 00:25:14,725
this'll be a second, sorry.
564
00:25:14,745 --> 00:25:16,833
Just wait
and send it to voice mail.
565
00:25:17,083 --> 00:25:18,750
Yeah.
566
00:25:19,516 --> 00:25:21,266
[Groans]
567
00:25:23,786 --> 00:25:25,484
Come on.
568
00:25:32,531 --> 00:25:34,146
Then we'll get him
a new set of drums.
569
00:25:34,164 --> 00:25:35,863
Oh, my God.
[Door closes]
570
00:25:35,957 --> 00:25:38,194
Oh, my God.
[Groans]
571
00:25:45,016 --> 00:25:46,879
Dwight Schrute...
572
00:25:46,904 --> 00:25:48,197
...is...
573
00:25:48,222 --> 00:25:50,839
manager!
574
00:25:50,897 --> 00:25:51,764
[Laughs]
575
00:25:51,789 --> 00:25:53,090
Oh, yeah!
576
00:25:53,197 --> 00:25:55,637
Whoo!
[Laughs]
577
00:25:56,158 --> 00:25:58,159
Brava.
Brava.
578
00:25:58,271 --> 00:26:00,268
- Way to go, Dwight.
- Whoo!
579
00:26:00,297 --> 00:26:04,815
Creed Bratton
is the new manager!
580
00:26:06,850 --> 00:26:08,200
Congrats.
581
00:26:08,235 --> 00:26:11,351
- What's going on?
- Dwight's the new manager.
582
00:26:11,469 --> 00:26:12,941
He freaking did it.
583
00:26:12,987 --> 00:26:15,278
Congratulations, Dwight.
584
00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:18,734
Pam.
585
00:26:19,212 --> 00:26:21,387
Congratulations, buddy.
586
00:26:25,490 --> 00:26:26,996
Thank you, Jim.
587
00:26:27,531 --> 00:26:29,256
Congrats, Dwight.
588
00:26:30,791 --> 00:26:32,608
Get out of Jim's seat.
589
00:26:33,210 --> 00:26:35,023
Wha-- but I fought
for this seat.
590
00:26:35,100 --> 00:26:37,361
You're an annex kid.
You might be bullpen.
591
00:26:37,380 --> 00:26:38,905
We'll see.
Give it a couple years.
592
00:26:38,957 --> 00:26:40,773
Scram.
593
00:26:40,980 --> 00:26:42,916
[Scoffs]
594
00:26:52,531 --> 00:26:54,046
[Sighs]
595
00:26:54,877 --> 00:26:56,998
It's nice to have you back.
596
00:27:01,517 --> 00:27:03,384
- So...
- So...
597
00:27:03,393 --> 00:27:05,661
I wanted to offer you
a new position.
598
00:27:05,678 --> 00:27:06,903
Let's hear it.
599
00:27:06,970 --> 00:27:09,813
Assistant regional manager.
600
00:27:09,831 --> 00:27:11,919
Nope.
Can't accept that job.
601
00:27:12,363 --> 00:27:14,531
- It's not a real job.
- Jim.
602
00:27:14,797 --> 00:27:16,297
I'll tell you
what I could accept
603
00:27:16,338 --> 00:27:19,190
is assistant
to the regional manager.
604
00:27:19,212 --> 00:27:21,846
That is a real job,
and one I'd be proud to take.
605
00:27:22,119 --> 00:27:23,832
Shake on it?
606
00:27:24,286 --> 00:27:26,344
[Blows raspberry]
Done. Way to negotiate, idiot.
607
00:27:26,376 --> 00:27:28,283
[Chuckles]
608
00:27:30,100 --> 00:27:33,405
Don't get me wrong.
I am definitely here for Pam.
609
00:27:34,127 --> 00:27:37,797
But this is an
awesome added bonus.
610
00:27:41,299 --> 00:27:44,199
So... all the numbers adding up?
611
00:27:44,866 --> 00:27:47,094
Hey, I didn't get a chance
to say it, but...
612
00:27:47,106 --> 00:27:49,265
- congratulations, Dwight.
- [Chuckles]
613
00:27:49,289 --> 00:27:51,956
- Thank you.
- Ahem. Yes, congratulations.
614
00:27:51,970 --> 00:27:57,207
Yeah, and, Dwight, I'd like to be
the first to say congratulations.
615
00:27:58,394 --> 00:28:00,808
This is a big day for you.
616
00:28:02,082 --> 00:28:03,482
Hmm.
617
00:28:04,199 --> 00:28:06,000
Yes, it is.
618
00:28:11,774 --> 00:28:13,495
Carry on.
619
00:28:17,954 --> 00:28:20,824
How did I just abandon
my dream so quickly?
620
00:28:21,002 --> 00:28:23,105
It's 'cause I had a fallback.
621
00:28:23,255 --> 00:28:27,005
That's the problem. When you have
fallbacks, it's just easy to give up.
622
00:28:27,261 --> 00:28:29,225
When Cortez landed in Mexico,
623
00:28:29,256 --> 00:28:31,323
only way he got his men
to defeat the Aztecs
624
00:28:31,355 --> 00:28:33,889
was by burning
all of his own boats
625
00:28:33,995 --> 00:28:37,197
so they could never return home.
626
00:28:37,598 --> 00:28:40,929
Huge dick move, but...
627
00:28:41,086 --> 00:28:43,186
very effective.
628
00:28:44,335 --> 00:28:47,203
I need to be that same kind
of dick to myself.
629
00:28:50,920 --> 00:28:52,754
Everyone!
[Sighs]
630
00:28:52,803 --> 00:28:55,009
- Changed my mind again.
- Which is it now?
631
00:28:55,033 --> 00:28:57,329
- Dream or no dream?
- Uh, dream.
632
00:28:57,465 --> 00:28:59,282
Goin' with my dream.
633
00:28:59,356 --> 00:29:01,432
Gotta go all in.
Ain't that right, Jim?
634
00:29:01,481 --> 00:29:02,660
Oh, don't look at me,
635
00:29:02,679 --> 00:29:04,443
'cause I think you're making
a terrible choice.
636
00:29:04,475 --> 00:29:05,754
All in!
637
00:29:05,785 --> 00:29:07,754
Whoo!
638
00:29:11,466 --> 00:29:12,929
Toby!
639
00:29:13,512 --> 00:29:15,930
Hey.
I changed my mind again.
640
00:29:15,964 --> 00:29:19,031
I am gonna leave Dunder Mifflin
to pursue acting after all.
641
00:29:19,186 --> 00:29:20,767
- Okay, then, Andy.
- Yeah.
642
00:29:20,819 --> 00:29:22,042
But here's the thing.
643
00:29:22,060 --> 00:29:24,912
I can't have good old Dunder Mifflin to
fall back on, or else I'll never succeed.
644
00:29:24,952 --> 00:29:26,271
Gotta burn those boats!
645
00:29:26,289 --> 00:29:27,988
So I need you
to go into my file
646
00:29:28,032 --> 00:29:30,158
and put down
that I was fired for theft
647
00:29:30,184 --> 00:29:32,821
and/or groping wieners.
648
00:29:33,584 --> 00:29:35,209
A-Andy, you know
I can't do that.
649
00:29:35,228 --> 00:29:37,622
- It'd be lying.
- Seriously?
650
00:29:37,764 --> 00:29:40,474
- Yeah, I'm--
- Come on, just do it.
651
00:29:40,842 --> 00:29:43,383
- I can't.
- All right, fine.
652
00:29:43,518 --> 00:29:47,092
Just know
that you made me do this.
653
00:29:47,708 --> 00:29:49,739
Oh, come on.
Andy, no.
654
00:29:49,757 --> 00:29:52,300
God, Toby, don't--
stop blocking my hand.
655
00:29:52,312 --> 00:29:53,213
No, no.
656
00:29:53,232 --> 00:29:54,944
This is your--
you brought this on.
657
00:29:54,963 --> 00:29:56,965
No, no.
Andy.
658
00:29:57,447 --> 00:29:59,615
Okay, all right.
Groped you good.
659
00:29:59,668 --> 00:30:01,964
Off to Hollywood!
660
00:30:03,854 --> 00:30:05,470
[Sighs]
661
00:30:08,019 --> 00:30:09,973
[Phone rings]
662
00:30:10,889 --> 00:30:12,757
This is Angela.
663
00:30:12,909 --> 00:30:13,859
Oh.
[Clears throat]
664
00:30:13,878 --> 00:30:15,579
Hello, Miss Polodnikovski.
665
00:30:15,632 --> 00:30:18,230
Uh, how can I help you?
666
00:30:18,795 --> 00:30:20,910
Did my rent check not clear?
667
00:30:20,922 --> 00:30:25,117
Because I just transferred
another $25 to that account.
668
00:30:25,150 --> 00:30:27,279
So if there's a problem,
it's clearly on your end.
669
00:30:27,297 --> 00:30:28,767
And--
670
00:30:28,792 --> 00:30:29,886
oh.
671
00:30:29,905 --> 00:30:31,725
Oh.
Oh, okay.
672
00:30:31,823 --> 00:30:33,044
Good.
673
00:30:33,061 --> 00:30:34,128
Then, um...
[Clears throat]
674
00:30:34,159 --> 00:30:36,044
what is this about?
675
00:30:38,186 --> 00:30:39,953
No, no.
Hey, hey.
676
00:30:39,994 --> 00:30:42,362
No, you are out of line,
Miss Polodnikovski.
677
00:30:42,380 --> 00:30:44,571
No. No, you are.
678
00:30:44,603 --> 00:30:46,267
No, you are!
679
00:30:46,306 --> 00:30:47,587
Evicted? Fine!
680
00:30:47,606 --> 00:30:49,800
I don't want to live
in that cesspool anyway.
681
00:30:49,825 --> 00:30:52,410
Listen, I get my
security deposit back.
682
00:30:52,435 --> 00:30:54,303
Yes, I do.
Ye--
683
00:30:54,341 --> 00:30:57,688
That is not fair!
That is not fair!
684
00:30:57,840 --> 00:31:00,403
Well, you know what? You have
so many hairs on your chin,
685
00:31:00,454 --> 00:31:02,666
Animal Control
should've taken you away.
686
00:31:02,685 --> 00:31:03,422
[Gasps]
687
00:31:03,447 --> 00:31:04,785
That is very unladylike.
688
00:31:04,812 --> 00:31:06,346
You are disgusting!
689
00:31:06,368 --> 00:31:08,892
[Hangs up phone]
690
00:31:18,844 --> 00:31:21,202
What do you think
that was about?
691
00:31:22,051 --> 00:31:23,335
David.
692
00:31:23,387 --> 00:31:25,065
I lost the Scranton
White Pages account.
693
00:31:25,090 --> 00:31:27,335
Do you have any idea
how much paper that is?
694
00:31:28,118 --> 00:31:29,993
And I'd just like to point out
695
00:31:30,018 --> 00:31:32,218
I was mad at Dwight. I
did it out of spite.
696
00:31:32,244 --> 00:31:34,313
We put the past behind
us, though, Andy.
697
00:31:34,338 --> 00:31:36,483
When have I told you
I hate you and this company?
698
00:31:36,507 --> 00:31:38,063
Enough, Andy.
Enough!
699
00:31:38,088 --> 00:31:41,005
Just stop forgiving me, David.
Please?
700
00:31:41,661 --> 00:31:45,785
This is my last chance to honor
what is best inside myself.
701
00:31:46,395 --> 00:31:48,670
What if I took a dump
on your new car?
702
00:31:48,696 --> 00:31:49,797
Oh, my God.
703
00:31:49,824 --> 00:31:51,742
Eleanor Roosevelt once said,
704
00:31:51,780 --> 00:31:53,730
"The future belongs to those
705
00:31:53,769 --> 00:31:56,419
who believe in the beauty
of their dreams."
706
00:31:56,787 --> 00:31:58,955
[Bleep]
I think she's right.
707
00:31:59,113 --> 00:32:01,068
- I feel calm now.
- Get out!
708
00:32:01,121 --> 00:32:02,455
Get out!
709
00:32:02,770 --> 00:32:06,020
I feel, like, for the first
time in a long time,
710
00:32:06,691 --> 00:32:08,813
I'm doing the right thing.
711
00:32:09,544 --> 00:32:11,328
- Andy.
- Yeah.
712
00:32:11,394 --> 00:32:12,778
What are you doing?
713
00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:14,400
Uh,
714
00:32:14,474 --> 00:32:16,281
heavy stuff like
books on the bottom.
715
00:32:16,318 --> 00:32:18,258
So it won't squash
my knickety-knacks on top.
716
00:32:18,291 --> 00:32:20,154
Yeah, okay,
that's not what I mean.
717
00:32:20,237 --> 00:32:21,366
[Sighs]
718
00:32:21,409 --> 00:32:24,264
You don't have to leave
because you said you would.
719
00:32:24,387 --> 00:32:28,452
Don't let pride ruin
your whole life.
720
00:32:28,762 --> 00:32:30,263
Okay?
721
00:32:30,447 --> 00:32:32,504
It's not worth it.
722
00:32:33,805 --> 00:32:35,107
Wow.
723
00:32:35,231 --> 00:32:36,698
Angela.
724
00:32:36,970 --> 00:32:38,579
What we had was great,
725
00:32:38,597 --> 00:32:41,364
and, honestly, I think
about it a lot too...
726
00:32:41,377 --> 00:32:42,098
Ugh.
727
00:32:42,130 --> 00:32:44,465
But I just--
it's in the past.
728
00:32:44,504 --> 00:32:46,429
- And I feel like we shouldn't...
- No, that's not--
729
00:32:46,453 --> 00:32:48,793
- Rehash--
- No, none-- no, stop.
730
00:32:48,815 --> 00:32:51,146
It's just--
[Groans]
731
00:32:51,850 --> 00:32:53,639
- Exactly.
- Okay.
732
00:32:53,763 --> 00:32:55,181
Well,
733
00:32:55,306 --> 00:32:57,306
have a good trip.
734
00:32:58,262 --> 00:33:00,135
Good luck, Andy.
735
00:33:00,949 --> 00:33:02,700
Thanks, Angela.
You too.
736
00:33:02,734 --> 00:33:03,734
Thanks.
737
00:33:04,222 --> 00:33:06,840
A-bridge a-burnt.
738
00:33:07,173 --> 00:33:09,345
No turning back now.
739
00:33:09,557 --> 00:33:12,463
Everybody, Lorelei and I
740
00:33:12,544 --> 00:33:15,412
would like to say thank you
and good-bye
741
00:33:15,436 --> 00:33:16,753
the only way we know how.
742
00:33:16,778 --> 00:33:19,441
- Oh, good lord.
- Can't you just leave?
743
00:33:19,745 --> 00:33:22,944
You know, Andy, you could just
say a really nice good-bye.
744
00:33:23,050 --> 00:33:24,444
Tuna, I'm a performer,
745
00:33:24,465 --> 00:33:26,778
and perform I shall.
746
00:33:27,415 --> 00:33:30,400
[Playing I Will Remember You]
747
00:33:30,418 --> 00:33:35,122
♪
748
00:33:35,154 --> 00:33:40,678
♪ I will remember you ♪
749
00:33:41,902 --> 00:33:47,927
♪ Will you remember me? ♪
750
00:33:48,108 --> 00:33:51,804
♪ Don't let your life ♪
751
00:33:51,836 --> 00:33:54,404
♪ pass you by ♪
752
00:33:54,673 --> 00:34:01,082
♪ and weep not for
the memories ♪
753
00:34:01,282 --> 00:34:04,676
♪ Remember all the good times ♪
754
00:34:04,935 --> 00:34:07,454
♪ that we had ♪
755
00:34:07,488 --> 00:34:10,474
♪ I let them
slip away from us ♪
756
00:34:10,492 --> 00:34:13,642
♪ when things got bad ♪
757
00:34:13,911 --> 00:34:17,247
♪ How clearly I first saw you ♪
758
00:34:17,281 --> 00:34:20,133
♪ smilin' in the sun ♪
759
00:34:20,168 --> 00:34:23,720
♪ Want to feel
your warmth upon me ♪
760
00:34:23,755 --> 00:34:26,597
♪ I wanna be the one ♪
761
00:34:27,128 --> 00:34:30,173
♪ I will remember you ♪
762
00:34:30,209 --> 00:34:32,024
You okay?
763
00:34:32,679 --> 00:34:33,980
It's just a really nice song.
764
00:34:33,998 --> 00:34:38,883
♪ Will you remember me? ♪
765
00:34:39,621 --> 00:34:43,217
♪ Don't let your life ♪
766
00:34:43,307 --> 00:34:46,109
♪ pass you by ♪
767
00:34:46,129 --> 00:34:51,855
♪ and weep not
for the memories ♪
768
00:34:52,200 --> 00:34:55,836
♪ Don't let your life ♪
769
00:34:55,870 --> 00:34:59,256
♪ pass you by ♪
770
00:35:00,008 --> 00:35:05,542
♪ and weep not for
the memories ♪
771
00:35:05,623 --> 00:35:08,801
♪
772
00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:12,168
[Applause]
773
00:35:12,217 --> 00:35:13,468
Awesome.
774
00:35:13,508 --> 00:35:14,699
[Groans]
775
00:35:14,753 --> 00:35:15,927
Nice!
776
00:35:15,928 --> 00:35:16,988
[Laughing]
777
00:35:17,014 --> 00:35:19,080
Thanks, Meredith.
778
00:35:20,470 --> 00:35:22,087
- Mm.
- Who knows?
779
00:35:22,113 --> 00:35:24,065
Maybe Andy will make it.
780
00:35:24,315 --> 00:35:26,316
- He's not terrible.
- Yeah.
781
00:35:26,350 --> 00:35:28,456
And people worse than him
make it all the time,
782
00:35:28,474 --> 00:35:29,871
like Lil' Romeo.
783
00:35:29,906 --> 00:35:31,096
No, he's good.
784
00:35:31,140 --> 00:35:33,475
He was good.
785
00:35:42,075 --> 00:35:45,294
- Good night, Kevin.
- Night, Oscar.
786
00:35:58,416 --> 00:35:59,930
Tents?
787
00:36:00,529 --> 00:36:02,480
Are you thinking
of going camping?
788
00:36:02,562 --> 00:36:04,630
I thought you found
nature vulgar.
789
00:36:04,666 --> 00:36:07,472
Well, I've changed my mind.
790
00:36:09,001 --> 00:36:10,906
[Whispering]
Wait a minute, Angela.
791
00:36:11,154 --> 00:36:14,423
You're not thinking of living in a tent...
- Oh, God,
792
00:36:14,448 --> 00:36:17,124
would you just mind
your own business?
793
00:36:18,060 --> 00:36:20,428
Okay, listen.
I'm just gonna say this.
794
00:36:20,703 --> 00:36:22,667
You are not going to live
in a tent.
795
00:36:22,686 --> 00:36:24,510
Oh, God.
796
00:36:26,121 --> 00:36:27,507
Come stay with me.
797
00:36:27,525 --> 00:36:29,339
You don't want me
at your place.
798
00:36:29,363 --> 00:36:31,347
I do. Yes.
799
00:36:31,372 --> 00:36:34,790
Not forever, but u-until
you get back on your feet,
800
00:36:34,829 --> 00:36:36,697
which won't be long.
801
00:36:36,913 --> 00:36:38,607
It's the least I can do.
802
00:36:38,854 --> 00:36:40,954
Well...
803
00:36:44,246 --> 00:36:46,428
Separate bathrooms.
804
00:36:50,777 --> 00:36:52,948
[Exhales]
805
00:36:53,438 --> 00:36:55,257
Thank you.
806
00:36:56,676 --> 00:36:57,964
You're welcome.
807
00:36:58,090 --> 00:36:59,654
Let's go get Philip.
808
00:36:59,736 --> 00:37:01,961
Then, we'll get your stuff...
809
00:37:02,030 --> 00:37:04,305
- Okay.
- And you get the hell out of that place.
810
00:37:04,335 --> 00:37:05,859
Okay.
811
00:37:06,714 --> 00:37:08,498
Are you allowed to have pets?
812
00:37:08,528 --> 00:37:10,394
Oh, Angela.
813
00:37:11,191 --> 00:37:14,351
Yesterday, I was just your
average, ordinary paper salesman
814
00:37:14,369 --> 00:37:17,751
with a farm and a bunch
of pipe dreams about beet fuel.
815
00:37:18,204 --> 00:37:23,007
Today, I leave here a regional
manager with a black belt.
816
00:37:23,280 --> 00:37:24,614
Ah!
817
00:37:24,698 --> 00:37:28,777
It really is amazing how your
life can change in one day.
818
00:37:29,046 --> 00:37:30,659
[Exhales]
819
00:37:32,114 --> 00:37:33,427
You talk to Wade and Colin?
820
00:37:33,481 --> 00:37:35,301
No, I just saw I missed their call.
Why? What's up?
821
00:37:35,320 --> 00:37:36,689
We got an offer on the table.
822
00:37:36,710 --> 00:37:38,761
- What kind of offer?
- A buyout.
823
00:37:38,828 --> 00:37:40,270
- What?
- We're in play, baby.
824
00:37:40,276 --> 00:37:41,745
- Oh, my God.
- We did it.
825
00:37:41,776 --> 00:37:43,890
- We did it!
- Ah, ha, ha, ha, ho!
826
00:37:43,981 --> 00:37:45,044
Hey, and look.
827
00:37:45,081 --> 00:37:47,086
The buyers wanna make sure
it's not just a Philly play.
828
00:37:47,104 --> 00:37:48,970
- Okay.
- So get this.
829
00:37:49,179 --> 00:37:52,737
They're gonna pay for us
to go pitch out west.
830
00:37:52,983 --> 00:37:57,083
We talking spurs,
the jazz, cowboys.
831
00:37:57,193 --> 00:37:59,165
Blake Griffin, baby.
832
00:37:59,619 --> 00:38:01,754
Wow, that is...
833
00:38:01,857 --> 00:38:03,766
- Yeah. We did it.
- Wow.
834
00:38:03,828 --> 00:38:06,062
- Yeah, we did it.
- [Laughs]
835
00:38:06,361 --> 00:38:08,529
Hey, how long-- how long do
we think that's gonna take?
836
00:38:08,563 --> 00:38:11,389
Wade said we could do the
whole country in three months.
837
00:38:11,595 --> 00:38:13,552
Oh, man.
838
00:38:14,696 --> 00:38:16,778
Yeah, I can't do it.
839
00:38:17,363 --> 00:38:18,988
Can't do what?
840
00:38:19,320 --> 00:38:21,389
This, man. I--
841
00:38:21,414 --> 00:38:23,414
I can't do this to Pam.
842
00:38:23,583 --> 00:38:25,734
No, no.
Jim, this is different.
843
00:38:25,752 --> 00:38:27,536
This is everything.
[Chuckles]
844
00:38:27,607 --> 00:38:29,245
I know.
845
00:38:29,820 --> 00:38:32,433
And I--
and I can't do it.
846
00:38:54,706 --> 00:38:56,602
[Exhales]
847
00:38:58,638 --> 00:39:02,241
So is your place all bachelor,
slobby, and gross?
848
00:39:02,275 --> 00:39:05,611
Nope, it's neat and tastefully
appointed like most gay men's homes.
849
00:39:05,645 --> 00:39:07,363
The stereotype holds up.
850
00:39:07,401 --> 00:39:10,864
I wouldn't know.
I never lived with a gay guy.
851
00:39:11,382 --> 00:39:13,303
Angela, you just...
852
00:39:14,383 --> 00:39:16,288
- were--
- [Sobbing]
853
00:39:17,321 --> 00:39:19,366
I love him.
854
00:39:21,970 --> 00:39:23,715
- I know.
- [Sobs]
855
00:39:24,215 --> 00:39:25,608
I understand more than most,
856
00:39:25,632 --> 00:39:28,117
but we both have to move on.
857
00:39:28,151 --> 00:39:30,606
You-- you can't-- c--
858
00:39:31,693 --> 00:39:34,473
No, not the Senator.
859
00:39:34,580 --> 00:39:36,815
I love Dwight.
860
00:39:46,319 --> 00:39:51,319
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