﻿1
00:00:00,665 --> 00:00:01,513
Okay, everyone.

2
00:00:01,633 --> 00:00:04,691
Look in your folders. You will find
information about founder's week.

3
00:00:04,828 --> 00:00:06,149
And before
we start brainstorming,

4
00:00:06,162 --> 00:00:08,197
I just wanna thank Ron
for lending us his cabin.

5
00:00:08,264 --> 00:00:09,497
Lending?

6
00:00:09,565 --> 00:00:11,132
Makes it sound like I had
a choice in the matter.

7
00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:12,441
I never should've agreed
to this

8
00:00:12,561 --> 00:00:14,145
or let you know
that I have a cabin

9
00:00:14,404 --> 00:00:16,027
or gotten to know any of you.

10
00:00:16,147 --> 00:00:17,350
That's the spirit.

11
00:00:17,478 --> 00:00:19,112
Founder's week
is a yearly celebration

12
00:00:19,180 --> 00:00:20,247
of all things Pawnee.

13
00:00:20,314 --> 00:00:22,115
We've got
a pie-eating contest,

14
00:00:22,183 --> 00:00:23,150
a giant petting zoo,

15
00:00:23,217 --> 00:00:24,884
and the granddaddy of them all,

16
00:00:24,951 --> 00:00:26,551
the founder's week parade.

17
00:00:26,619 --> 00:00:27,787
I don't wanna
over-hype it,

18
00:00:27,854 --> 00:00:30,622
but our parade
makes the rose bowl parade

19
00:00:30,690 --> 00:00:32,210
look like
a turds-on-wheels convention.

20
00:00:32,332 --> 00:00:33,382
Let's do an exercise.

21
00:00:33,502 --> 00:00:35,673
April, what makes Pawnee
the best city in the world?

22
00:00:35,793 --> 00:00:38,148
Easy: Most murders
per capita.

23
00:00:38,268 --> 00:00:40,175
The guillotine
was invented here.

24
00:00:40,295 --> 00:00:42,251
City Hall is run
by the walrus mafia.

25
00:00:42,371 --> 00:00:44,959
Donna, help me out.
What makes Pawnee so great?

26
00:00:45,079 --> 00:00:46,238
Cost of living is cheap.

27
00:00:46,358 --> 00:00:48,159
In about three years,
I will have saved enough

28
00:00:48,164 --> 00:00:49,659
to pay off my condo in Seattle.

29
00:00:49,779 --> 00:00:51,372
You have a condo in Seattle?

30
00:00:51,492 --> 00:00:53,281
Yes, I like the rain
and the fish markets.

31
00:00:53,418 --> 00:00:54,785
Guys, we need to focus.

32
00:00:54,852 --> 00:00:56,966
I want this to be the best
founder's week ever, okay?

33
00:00:57,086 --> 00:01:00,661
- No more distractions.
- I'm bored.

34
00:01:00,781 --> 00:01:02,579
Let's go have sex in a tree.

35
00:01:02,699 --> 00:01:04,006
He'll be back in eight minutes.

36
00:01:04,126 --> 00:01:05,707
Why did you have
to bring her here?

37
00:01:05,827 --> 00:01:07,366
I don't really have
any power in this relationship.

38
00:01:07,486 --> 00:01:08,726
I'll think of ideas
in the tree.

39
00:01:08,727 --> 00:01:10,764
Anyone's welcome
to join us in the tree!

40
00:01:14,470 --> 00:01:24,856
<font color="#ec14bd">Sync & corrections by honeybunny</font>
<font color="#ec14bd">www.addic7ed.com</font>

41
00:01:31,618 --> 00:01:34,154
Really?

42
00:01:34,222 --> 00:01:36,556
Okay.
Thank you.

43
00:01:36,623 --> 00:01:38,491
Bye.

44
00:01:38,559 --> 00:01:40,593
You okay?

45
00:01:40,661 --> 00:01:41,594
Yeah, I'm fine.

46
00:01:41,662 --> 00:01:42,694
Good morning,

47
00:01:42,762 --> 00:01:44,997
colleagues, co-workers, friends.

48
00:01:45,065 --> 00:01:48,667
Everyone feeling normal...
today?

49
00:01:48,735 --> 00:01:49,768
Here's what happened.

50
00:01:49,836 --> 00:01:51,403
I left my sweat shirt
at Ron's cabin.

51
00:01:51,471 --> 00:01:54,907
When I went back to get it,
I found this in the trash:

52
00:01:54,975 --> 00:01:56,677
Positive pregnancy test.

53
00:01:56,952 --> 00:01:59,253
Side note: I accidentally threw
my sweat shirt away.

54
00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:00,721
That's why I was digging
through the trash.

55
00:02:00,789 --> 00:02:02,089
Found that too.
Pretty cool.

56
00:02:02,156 --> 00:02:04,324
So if my science is correct,

57
00:02:04,393 --> 00:02:07,361
one of the five women
who were at the cabin--

58
00:02:07,429 --> 00:02:11,942
Leslie, Donna, Ann,
Mona-Lisa, or April--

59
00:02:12,062 --> 00:02:13,142
is pregnant!

60
00:02:13,262 --> 00:02:14,519
Can't be April.

61
00:02:14,819 --> 00:02:15,774
She would've told me.

62
00:02:15,894 --> 00:02:17,989
That leaves four suspects.

63
00:02:18,564 --> 00:02:20,759
There's only one man
for this job:

64
00:02:20,879 --> 00:02:23,704
Bert Macklin, FBI.

65
00:02:23,790 --> 00:02:25,558
They said I was retired.

66
00:02:25,626 --> 00:02:26,792
They said I was too dangerous

67
00:02:26,860 --> 00:02:28,193
for the Pawnee
Police Department.

68
00:02:28,261 --> 00:02:29,697
Turns out they were right...

69
00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:31,221
and wrong.

70
00:02:31,341 --> 00:02:34,712
Macklin, you son of a bitch.

71
00:02:35,762 --> 00:02:37,122
Hello, fellow Pawneeans.

72
00:02:37,244 --> 00:02:39,179
As you know,
the founder's week festivities

73
00:02:39,246 --> 00:02:40,180
kick off tomorrow.

74
00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:41,681
Um, one small announcement:

75
00:02:41,748 --> 00:02:43,283
Due to
a tragic misunderstanding,

76
00:02:43,350 --> 00:02:45,750
the prettiest pig
beauty pageant

77
00:02:45,819 --> 00:02:48,378
has been replaced by a pork rib
barbecue competition.

78
00:02:49,237 --> 00:02:50,423
Oh, no.

79
00:02:50,543 --> 00:02:51,828
But on to less grisly news,

80
00:02:52,087 --> 00:02:53,338
thank you for participating

81
00:02:53,458 --> 00:02:55,638
in our special founder's week
public forum

82
00:02:55,758 --> 00:02:57,946
led by councilwoman
Leslie Knope.

83
00:03:00,002 --> 00:03:01,382
Thanks to a lot of hard work

84
00:03:01,502 --> 00:03:03,022
and some very dedicated
civil servants,

85
00:03:03,057 --> 00:03:05,436
this has been a banner year
for our city.

86
00:03:05,556 --> 00:03:07,941
Obesity and diabetes are down.

87
00:03:08,061 --> 00:03:09,139
Test scores are up.

88
00:03:09,259 --> 00:03:11,092
Pawnee raccoon attacks
have decreased.

89
00:03:11,212 --> 00:03:12,940
People can now suddenly
feel safe

90
00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:14,809
in our parks, grocery stores,
and hospitals.

91
00:03:14,929 --> 00:03:16,980
I am very proud
of what we've accomplished.

92
00:03:17,100 --> 00:03:21,296
In fact, this forum
is kind of my victory lap.

93
00:03:21,416 --> 00:03:23,839
I am here today
to ask you one question.

94
00:03:23,959 --> 00:03:27,809
Are you better off now
than you were a year ago?

95
00:03:27,929 --> 00:03:29,459
Who'd like to start?
Uh-oh.

96
00:03:29,691 --> 00:03:32,594
Kathryn Pinewood,
Pawnee Restaurant Association.

97
00:03:32,714 --> 00:03:34,585
This town is not better off.

98
00:03:34,705 --> 00:03:36,549
This past year
has been a disaster,

99
00:03:36,669 --> 00:03:38,350
and this government
is hell-bent

100
00:03:38,470 --> 00:03:42,082
on stripping away our most basic
personal freedoms.

101
00:03:42,202 --> 00:03:43,460
Okay, counterpoint.

102
00:03:43,580 --> 00:03:46,428
Ms. Pinewood, I've never
stripped away anyone's freedoms.

103
00:03:46,548 --> 00:03:48,213
I simply stopped a restaurant

104
00:03:48,333 --> 00:03:52,147
from serving an insane
500-ounce soda to its customers,

105
00:03:52,267 --> 00:03:53,787
which only made
our citizens healthier.

106
00:03:53,912 --> 00:03:55,546
And frankly, I don't see
any of those citizens

107
00:03:55,614 --> 00:03:56,946
standing up
and complaining abo--

108
00:03:59,486 --> 00:04:00,754
Okay.
Now, I see them.

109
00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,400
Whoa! Darren!
Slow down!

110
00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:05,489
That sweat suit's
not for sweatin' in, okay?

111
00:04:05,609 --> 00:04:06,530
This is crushed velvet.

112
00:04:06,605 --> 00:04:07,712
If you go at more
than a brisk walk,

113
00:04:07,832 --> 00:04:08,592
it <i>will</i> fall apart.

114
00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:11,010
This looks dope.
Let's pay for it.

115
00:04:11,130 --> 00:04:12,892
Business is booming.

116
00:04:13,012 --> 00:04:14,923
If it keeps up like this, I
would leave the Parks Department

117
00:04:15,043 --> 00:04:17,716
and do Rent-A-Swag full-time,
maybe even expand.

118
00:04:17,836 --> 00:04:19,407
I could add
a baby section over there,

119
00:04:19,527 --> 00:04:20,335
call it "Li'l Swaggers."

120
00:04:20,455 --> 00:04:21,548
I could add
some old people stuff,

121
00:04:21,668 --> 00:04:22,619
call it
"Rent-A-Sag."

122
00:04:22,739 --> 00:04:25,093
Ugh, no.
Old people are gross.

123
00:04:25,213 --> 00:04:26,878
Oh. Nice.

124
00:04:26,998 --> 00:04:29,278
Hey, dingdong!
Can I go home?

125
00:04:29,398 --> 00:04:30,846
My tum-tum
feels gross,

126
00:04:30,966 --> 00:04:33,149
and also, I hate working.

127
00:04:33,462 --> 00:04:35,878
I guess, but find someone
to cover for you, okay?

128
00:04:35,998 --> 00:04:36,941
'Cause we're really busy
right now.

129
00:04:38,166 --> 00:04:40,335
Also, a lawyer guy called you.

130
00:04:40,455 --> 00:04:42,929
He sounded really sexy
on the phone,

131
00:04:43,049 --> 00:04:44,354
and I was very into that.

132
00:04:44,474 --> 00:04:47,040
Like, I was,
like, very into that.

133
00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:48,295
All right,
let's set up some boundaries

134
00:04:48,415 --> 00:04:50,055
on what's cool for you
to say to me, okay?

135
00:04:50,168 --> 00:04:51,995
Okay.
I frenched my cousin one time.

136
00:04:52,115 --> 00:04:53,123
That's gross.

137
00:04:53,243 --> 00:04:54,309
I might still be in love
with him.

138
00:04:54,429 --> 00:04:56,397
- Please leave.
- All right, bye.

139
00:04:58,489 --> 00:05:00,439
Tom Haverford,
my name is Trevor Nelsson.

140
00:05:00,559 --> 00:05:03,194
I represent a client who would
like to make you an offer.

141
00:05:03,314 --> 00:05:04,846
Babyface heard my demo?

142
00:05:04,966 --> 00:05:06,413
I will accept a record deal.

143
00:05:06,533 --> 00:05:08,485
No, you deeply misunderstand.

144
00:05:08,605 --> 00:05:10,770
My client has taken an interest
in Rent-A-Swag.

145
00:05:10,890 --> 00:05:12,631
He'd like to know
if you are looking

146
00:05:12,751 --> 00:05:14,499
to sell a controlling interest
in the store.

147
00:05:14,619 --> 00:05:16,877
Whoa, Diddy wants
to buy Rent-A-Swag?

148
00:05:16,997 --> 00:05:19,093
- Not what I said.
- This is a lot to process.

149
00:05:19,213 --> 00:05:22,052
Will Diddy be coming
to the meeting?

150
00:05:22,172 --> 00:05:24,132
I'm not at liberty to tell you
who my client is.

151
00:05:24,190 --> 00:05:25,817
It would
violate confidentiality.

152
00:05:25,937 --> 00:05:28,608
- I understand.
- It's not Diddy.

153
00:05:28,728 --> 00:05:29,644
Got it.

154
00:05:37,961 --> 00:05:40,816
- Oh.
- Oh, hello...Ann.

155
00:05:40,936 --> 00:05:42,930
Oh, boy.
What do you want, Macklin?

156
00:05:43,050 --> 00:05:44,977
Me?
Just observing.

157
00:05:45,097 --> 00:05:47,097
A little something
they taught us down at Quantico.

158
00:05:47,129 --> 00:05:48,869
Well, I guess
I'll get out of your hair.

159
00:05:48,989 --> 00:05:51,682
Wait, there is
just one more question.

160
00:05:51,802 --> 00:05:54,166
- Congratulations.
- Is that a question?

161
00:05:54,286 --> 00:05:56,403
It's an accusation,
'cause I know your secret.

162
00:05:57,096 --> 00:05:59,757
- You're pregnant.
- What? I'm not pregnant.

163
00:05:59,877 --> 00:06:01,653
You're not?
Damn it. Who is?

164
00:06:01,773 --> 00:06:03,483
'Cause I found this
at Ron Swanson's cabin.

165
00:06:03,603 --> 00:06:04,888
- It's a pregnancy test.
- Oh, my God.

166
00:06:05,008 --> 00:06:06,194
Someone we know is pregnant?

167
00:06:06,314 --> 00:06:08,034
I'm trying to get pregnant.
That's not fair.

168
00:06:08,127 --> 00:06:09,844
I mean, great,
and happy for them,

169
00:06:09,964 --> 00:06:11,164
and congratulations, whatever,

170
00:06:11,243 --> 00:06:13,008
but ooh!
No! Boo!

171
00:06:13,128 --> 00:06:14,372
We have to find out
who this is.

172
00:06:14,492 --> 00:06:17,213
Whoa, I don't think so.
Bert Macklin works alone.

173
00:06:17,333 --> 00:06:18,470
I will buy lunch.

174
00:06:18,590 --> 00:06:19,599
You can have as many burgers
as you want.

175
00:06:19,719 --> 00:06:21,008
Welcome to the FBI.

176
00:06:22,343 --> 00:06:24,570
Ms. Pinewood, Leslie's
public health initiative

177
00:06:24,670 --> 00:06:25,968
has been a huge success.

178
00:06:26,088 --> 00:06:28,620
Pawnee is no longer the fourth
most obese city in America.

179
00:06:28,740 --> 00:06:29,974
We're now ninth.

180
00:06:30,042 --> 00:06:31,476
Together, as a town, we lost

181
00:06:31,544 --> 00:06:34,128
an amount of weight equal
to 800 pregnant manatees.

182
00:06:34,248 --> 00:06:36,542
A gym opened,
and it stayed in business.

183
00:06:36,662 --> 00:06:38,482
And people checking
into the E.R.

184
00:06:38,550 --> 00:06:41,491
after ingesting a whole
candy wrapper is down 40%.

185
00:06:41,611 --> 00:06:43,086
But where will it end?

186
00:06:43,206 --> 00:06:45,091
Now, you wanna rob
our children of fun

187
00:06:45,211 --> 00:06:47,778
by attacking the Sweetums
school lunch program,

188
00:06:47,898 --> 00:06:49,974
literally taking candy
from babies.

189
00:06:50,094 --> 00:06:52,204
Those school lunches
are incredibly unhealthy.

190
00:06:52,324 --> 00:06:54,330
You somehow convinced
the school board

191
00:06:54,398 --> 00:06:55,864
that napkins are a vegetable.

192
00:06:55,932 --> 00:06:56,972
They're made from plants.

193
00:06:57,091 --> 00:07:00,002
Stop restricting our freedoms.

194
00:07:00,070 --> 00:07:03,138
Yeah!

195
00:07:05,095 --> 00:07:07,345
My name is Dewey from Sanitation.

196
00:07:07,585 --> 00:07:09,151
Ever since you stripped us of our freedoms

197
00:07:09,219 --> 00:07:10,619
by making us hire women,

198
00:07:10,687 --> 00:07:12,454
we've had to turn
one of our bathrooms

199
00:07:12,522 --> 00:07:14,056
into a woman's bathroom.

200
00:07:14,123 --> 00:07:15,424
We only have one bathroom now.

201
00:07:15,492 --> 00:07:16,625
I'm so sorry, Dewey.

202
00:07:16,693 --> 00:07:18,260
That sounds
like a horrible price to pay

203
00:07:18,328 --> 00:07:20,663
for something as trivial
as gender equality.

204
00:07:20,730 --> 00:07:21,997
So you agree.

205
00:07:22,065 --> 00:07:24,465
Bjorn Lerpiss
of the Pawnee Lerpiss family.

206
00:07:24,533 --> 00:07:26,094
There was supposed to be
a Paunch Burger

207
00:07:26,153 --> 00:07:27,313
in this lot next to my house.

208
00:07:27,408 --> 00:07:28,433
And then, you stripped
my freedom

209
00:07:28,553 --> 00:07:29,592
by putting a park there.

210
00:07:29,712 --> 00:07:30,650
Now, if I wanna start
my day off

211
00:07:30,770 --> 00:07:32,530
with a triple-decker pancake
breakfast pizza,

212
00:07:32,614 --> 00:07:34,105
I gotta go to the one
that's 10 minutes away,

213
00:07:34,225 --> 00:07:35,933
and that makes me 20 minutes
late to work every day.

214
00:07:36,233 --> 00:07:37,023
I work at home.

215
00:07:37,143 --> 00:07:38,907
Have you ever considered
not eating that for breakfast?

216
00:07:39,027 --> 00:07:40,707
I'll never consider that.

217
00:07:40,827 --> 00:07:43,135
This feels strangely personal.

218
00:07:43,255 --> 00:07:44,400
Maybe it's because they're all
standing up

219
00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:46,938
saying how much they hate me
as a person.

220
00:07:48,179 --> 00:07:50,647
How many people
am I talking to, Donna?

221
00:07:50,767 --> 00:07:52,649
One or 1 1/9?

222
00:07:52,769 --> 00:07:54,518
Are you asking me
if I'm pregnant?

223
00:07:54,638 --> 00:07:56,833
Oh.
Interesting.

224
00:07:56,953 --> 00:07:58,374
I don't remember
saying anything

225
00:07:58,494 --> 00:08:00,392
about anyone being pregnant.

226
00:08:00,512 --> 00:08:02,751
Are you sure it's not you?

227
00:08:02,871 --> 00:08:04,701
I'm a grown woman with
a good head on her shoulders.

228
00:08:04,821 --> 00:08:06,106
Don't worry about me.

229
00:08:06,474 --> 00:08:10,123
Whew.
This case just got interesting.

230
00:08:10,243 --> 00:08:10,941
Well, not just.

231
00:08:11,061 --> 00:08:12,782
It was pretty interesting
to begin with.

232
00:08:12,902 --> 00:08:16,445
This case
just remained interesting.

233
00:08:17,264 --> 00:08:18,982
Listen, my wife and I
do not feel

234
00:08:19,102 --> 00:08:20,658
that we're better off
than a year ago

235
00:08:20,778 --> 00:08:22,130
because a year ago, this town

236
00:08:22,250 --> 00:08:23,535
was not a horrifying sex den

237
00:08:23,655 --> 00:08:25,001
where people could put
their body parts

238
00:08:25,121 --> 00:08:26,263
anywhere they want
with impunity.

239
00:08:26,383 --> 00:08:27,504
And then, you were elected.

240
00:08:27,594 --> 00:08:30,011
And now, this town
a horrifying sex den

241
00:08:30,131 --> 00:08:31,571
where people can put
their body parts

242
00:08:31,576 --> 00:08:33,437
anywhere they want to
with impunity.

243
00:08:33,557 --> 00:08:34,064
Yeah.

244
00:08:34,184 --> 00:08:35,796
If you are referring
to my fight

245
00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:38,339
to teach
comprehensive sex education,

246
00:08:38,459 --> 00:08:40,060
you need to at least
acknowledge the fact

247
00:08:40,138 --> 00:08:42,132
that STDs are
down 14% from last year.

248
00:08:42,252 --> 00:08:45,556
And deviant behavior in Pawnee
is up a billion percent!

249
00:08:45,676 --> 00:08:46,477
No, it's--
no, it's--

250
00:08:46,481 --> 00:08:47,521
This town is going to hell

251
00:08:47,572 --> 00:08:49,659
in a Gucci knock-off
handbag, girl.

252
00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:51,622
See? See?

253
00:08:51,742 --> 00:08:53,533
They agree.
Come on.

254
00:08:53,653 --> 00:08:55,933
I am definitely better off
than I was a year ago,

255
00:08:56,053 --> 00:08:57,547
and it's all thanks
to Leslie Knope.

256
00:08:57,667 --> 00:09:00,077
This woman single-handedly
saved my business.

257
00:09:00,197 --> 00:09:02,117
Thank you, Dennis.
There you go, perfect example.

258
00:09:02,195 --> 00:09:03,465
No need for further questions
on that one.

259
00:09:03,585 --> 00:09:06,214
Oh, I'm sorry.
What is your business, sir?

260
00:09:06,334 --> 00:09:08,238
Oh, I run
a pornographic DVD emporium.

261
00:09:08,358 --> 00:09:11,779
Well, it used to be a quaint,
little movie rental place

262
00:09:11,899 --> 00:09:13,252
with a lot of community value.

263
00:09:13,382 --> 00:09:14,549
- Oh, it's much better now.
- Yeah!

264
00:09:17,052 --> 00:09:19,520
- Leslie is the best.
- No, no, Brandi.

265
00:09:19,588 --> 00:09:20,588
- Gah, gah, gah, gah--
- Hello, everyone.

266
00:09:20,656 --> 00:09:23,458
- I'm Brandi Maxxxx...
- Hi, Brandi.

267
00:09:23,525 --> 00:09:27,127
Star of such films as
the incredible Burt Wonderbone,

268
00:09:27,195 --> 00:09:30,165
<i>A Good Guy to Lay Hard,</i>
and <i>Argo.</i>

269
00:09:30,285 --> 00:09:31,897
I had a small part in <i>Argo</i>

270
00:09:32,017 --> 00:09:34,215
as well as the porn version
<i>Our Goo.</i>

271
00:09:34,335 --> 00:09:35,838
I've seen the first 90 seconds.

272
00:09:35,958 --> 00:09:36,710
It's thrilling.

273
00:09:36,830 --> 00:09:38,148
If it weren't for Leslie Knope,

274
00:09:38,268 --> 00:09:41,120
there would be far, far less
pornography in this town.

275
00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:44,034
No, what happened was
there was a misunderstanding,

276
00:09:44,154 --> 00:09:46,380
and I accidentally got
the government involved

277
00:09:46,500 --> 00:09:48,381
in an unseemly business,
but I cleared that up,

278
00:09:48,448 --> 00:09:49,351
and everything's fine.

279
00:09:49,471 --> 00:09:52,460
It's not like I'm some kind of
sex-crazed maniac or something.

280
00:09:52,580 --> 00:09:53,933
Leslie, are you pregnant?

281
00:09:54,053 --> 00:09:55,405
Did you or did you not leave

282
00:09:55,525 --> 00:09:57,819
this positive pregnancy test
in a dumpster in the woods?

283
00:09:59,155 --> 00:10:00,696
Hey, everybody.

284
00:10:02,632 --> 00:10:04,418
- No.
- Really?

285
00:10:04,538 --> 00:10:06,218
Okay.
Well, I'll get out of your hair.

286
00:10:06,338 --> 00:10:07,660
Sorry to interrupt.

287
00:10:07,780 --> 00:10:09,664
Was that Brandi Maxxxx?

288
00:10:10,652 --> 00:10:14,580
Investors, I have some very
exciting news about Rent-A-Swag.

289
00:10:14,700 --> 00:10:16,884
Someone--
I'm not saying Diddy,

290
00:10:17,004 --> 00:10:18,754
but I'm not
<i>not</i> saying Diddy--

291
00:10:18,874 --> 00:10:20,608
has offered
to buy out Rent-A-Swag

292
00:10:20,728 --> 00:10:22,340
for a buttload of money.

293
00:10:22,460 --> 00:10:23,942
How big a buttload, son?

294
00:10:24,062 --> 00:10:27,413
We would all basically
double our investments.

295
00:10:27,533 --> 00:10:29,628
Are you kidding me?
Sell, baby.

296
00:10:29,748 --> 00:10:31,083
Imagine the kind
of treat-yourself day

297
00:10:31,203 --> 00:10:32,256
we could have with the profits.

298
00:10:32,376 --> 00:10:35,924
I'm talking pedicures
on pedicures on pedicures.

299
00:10:36,044 --> 00:10:36,988
That is appealing.

300
00:10:37,108 --> 00:10:39,119
If someone is interested
in buying you out,

301
00:10:39,239 --> 00:10:40,504
it means you're doing
something right.

302
00:10:40,624 --> 00:10:42,135
I say you continue to grow,

303
00:10:42,255 --> 00:10:44,293
accumulate power,
find this investor,

304
00:10:44,413 --> 00:10:46,375
and buy his business
to teach him a lesson.

305
00:10:46,495 --> 00:10:48,807
- April, what do you think?
- I thought about this a lot.

306
00:10:48,927 --> 00:10:51,466
I actually think that you should
get a "Hello Kitty" tattoo.

307
00:10:51,586 --> 00:10:53,167
- No, with the store.
- Oh.

308
00:10:53,287 --> 00:10:55,022
Uh, burn it
for the insurance money.

309
00:10:55,267 --> 00:10:56,958
Tom, listen to me, if there's
one thing I've learned--

310
00:10:57,078 --> 00:10:59,041
- God, nobody cares, Jerry.
- Enough.

311
00:10:59,744 --> 00:11:01,551
- Thank you.
- I miss you guys.

312
00:11:02,470 --> 00:11:04,895
What a wonderful event.
Everyone is having fun.

313
00:11:05,014 --> 00:11:06,247
This is great.

314
00:11:06,316 --> 00:11:07,882
Chris, could you just please...

315
00:11:07,950 --> 00:11:09,718
I'm sorry, I was just trying
to cheer you up.

316
00:11:09,786 --> 00:11:10,986
- Just hang in there.
- Thanks.

317
00:11:11,017 --> 00:11:12,502
All right,
if you'll excuse me, I found out

318
00:11:12,622 --> 00:11:14,523
this morning that I am playing

319
00:11:14,590 --> 00:11:16,725
a special role in this parade.

320
00:11:16,793 --> 00:11:17,771
No spoilers.

321
00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:20,826
Honey, I hate to state
the obvious,

322
00:11:20,946 --> 00:11:22,790
but you chose a life
in politics.

323
00:11:22,910 --> 00:11:24,532
I mean, the more
you actually accomplish,

324
00:11:24,599 --> 00:11:26,033
the more heat
you're gonna draw.

325
00:11:26,100 --> 00:11:28,669
- Yeah, I know.
- Let's go watch the parade.

326
00:11:28,737 --> 00:11:29,688
You know you can't resist
a parade.

327
00:11:29,808 --> 00:11:30,847
That's true.

328
00:11:30,967 --> 00:11:32,773
Parades and your butt:

329
00:11:32,841 --> 00:11:33,940
- My two vices.
- There you go.

330
00:11:34,007 --> 00:11:35,742
Whoa, what are you doing?

331
00:11:35,810 --> 00:11:37,850
My assistant has something
she'd like to show you.

332
00:11:37,972 --> 00:11:39,418
Partner.

333
00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:42,472
Oh, my assistant has something
she'd like to show you, partner.

334
00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:44,354
It's a positive
pregnancy test, Tom.

335
00:11:44,474 --> 00:11:45,908
I found it
outside of Ron's cabin

336
00:11:46,028 --> 00:11:47,095
after our brainstorming session.

337
00:11:47,215 --> 00:11:50,050
Is there any possibility
Mona-Lisa could be pregnant?

338
00:11:50,170 --> 00:11:52,825
We always use protection...

339
00:11:52,925 --> 00:11:54,393
but I'm pretty positive
she pokes holes in them.

340
00:11:54,460 --> 00:11:55,894
What brand pregnancy test
is it?

341
00:11:55,961 --> 00:11:57,762
It's called
"Womb There It Is."

342
00:11:57,830 --> 00:11:59,370
That's her brand.

343
00:11:59,697 --> 00:12:01,456
I'm gonna be a dad?

344
00:12:01,702 --> 00:12:04,470
I'm gonna have a baby
with Jean-Ralphio's sister?

345
00:12:04,590 --> 00:12:06,249
Oh, God.
What have I done?

346
00:12:06,369 --> 00:12:08,090
Like, to humanity?

347
00:12:14,254 --> 00:12:15,294
This is the perfect thing

348
00:12:15,355 --> 00:12:16,689
to take my mind
off of yesterday.

349
00:12:16,757 --> 00:12:19,492
I am going to pretend
that this is my victory parade

350
00:12:19,559 --> 00:12:22,260
and the town is celebrating
my hard work and dedication.

351
00:12:22,328 --> 00:12:23,896
- There you go.
- Leslie, Leslie.

352
00:12:23,963 --> 00:12:25,649
I'm so sorry.
I need to talk to you.

353
00:12:25,769 --> 00:12:28,321
What are--
what?

354
00:12:28,585 --> 00:12:29,885
I'm the Nipple King.

355
00:12:29,953 --> 00:12:31,454
Kernston's Rubber
Nipple Company

356
00:12:31,521 --> 00:12:33,481
elects a nipple king
and a nipple queen every year

357
00:12:33,523 --> 00:12:34,656
to ride on the float.

358
00:12:34,724 --> 00:12:36,657
- Congratulations, Chris.
- Thank you.

359
00:12:36,725 --> 00:12:38,693
- It's such an amazing honor.
- It's wonderful.

360
00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:39,920
But I do need to talk to you

361
00:12:39,962 --> 00:12:41,402
about a float
that is in this parade,

362
00:12:41,430 --> 00:12:42,397
because I'm not sure
that you're going to be--

363
00:12:42,465 --> 00:12:44,899
- No fun for you!
- Uh-oh.

364
00:12:44,967 --> 00:12:46,601
No fun for you!

365
00:12:46,668 --> 00:12:48,736
- Is that me?
- Maybe it's not you.

366
00:12:48,804 --> 00:12:50,922
- Maybe it's Kate Upton.
- Oh, thank you.

367
00:12:51,042 --> 00:12:53,459
No, it's me, and damn them.
No fun for you!

368
00:12:53,579 --> 00:12:55,109
Hey!
Hey, hey, hey, hey!

369
00:12:55,229 --> 00:12:56,385
Hey, stop, please!

370
00:12:56,505 --> 00:12:58,008
Stop!
Excuse me, Pawnee.

371
00:12:58,128 --> 00:13:00,571
I'm sorry, I don't mean to stop
your parade or anything,

372
00:13:00,691 --> 00:13:02,646
but I just have to say
something here, okay?

373
00:13:02,766 --> 00:13:04,282
I don't think
this is very fair!

374
00:13:04,402 --> 00:13:06,042
Babe--babe, stop wagging
your finger.

375
00:13:06,162 --> 00:13:07,902
Certain people
are lashing out at me

376
00:13:08,022 --> 00:13:09,757
because of things
that I did this year.

377
00:13:09,877 --> 00:13:12,130
But I am not trying to stop you
from having fun.

378
00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:13,886
I am an extremely fun person.

379
00:13:14,006 --> 00:13:16,367
This float represents a group

380
00:13:16,487 --> 00:13:20,184
of over 300 business owners,
individuals,

381
00:13:20,304 --> 00:13:23,252
and community leaders
who are protesting

382
00:13:23,372 --> 00:13:25,278
unfair government regulation.

383
00:13:25,398 --> 00:13:29,291
We are the committee
to recall Leslie Knope.

384
00:13:29,411 --> 00:13:31,890
Let's kick her out of office.

385
00:13:32,010 --> 00:13:34,088
Recall Knope!

386
00:13:34,208 --> 00:13:36,319
Recall Knope!

387
00:13:36,439 --> 00:13:38,084
Recall Knope!

388
00:13:38,204 --> 00:13:41,352
- Recall Knope!
- Legalize weed!

389
00:13:41,419 --> 00:13:44,155
Recall Knope!
Recall Knope!

390
00:13:44,802 --> 00:13:46,336
So, I need to ask you something

391
00:13:46,456 --> 00:13:48,819
and I kinda wish Jean-Ralphio wasn't here.

392
00:13:48,939 --> 00:13:51,475
Please tell me
that you're dumping my sister,

393
00:13:51,542 --> 00:13:54,425
because I will laugh--
I will laugh so much.

394
00:13:54,545 --> 00:13:56,648
Actually, it may be
the opposite.

395
00:13:56,768 --> 00:13:59,462
- Is this yours?
- No, no.

396
00:14:01,719 --> 00:14:05,288
Yeah.
It's mine.

397
00:14:05,356 --> 00:14:07,820
- I'm pregnant.
- Lemony snicket.

398
00:14:07,940 --> 00:14:09,874
Oh, my God, are you serious?

399
00:14:09,942 --> 00:14:11,127
I'm gonna be an uncle?
Is that a real thing?

400
00:14:11,247 --> 00:14:12,245
Is that gonna happen?

401
00:14:12,365 --> 00:14:14,195
No, no, that's too much--
too much responsibility for me.

402
00:14:14,315 --> 00:14:16,118
I gotta--I gotta find
another way out of this.

403
00:14:16,238 --> 00:14:17,798
Well, I wish you told me.

404
00:14:17,918 --> 00:14:19,695
I mean, obviously, we need
to talk about our future.

405
00:14:19,815 --> 00:14:20,919
Maybe I could sell
the business,

406
00:14:21,039 --> 00:14:21,928
and we could use the profits

407
00:14:22,048 --> 00:14:23,510
to put a down payment
on a house or something, or--

408
00:14:23,630 --> 00:14:25,406
- <i>Psych!</i>
<i>- </i> What?

409
00:14:26,839 --> 00:14:30,616
Ah, ha, ha.
Look at your stupid face.

410
00:14:30,736 --> 00:14:33,166
- You had a dumdum face.
- That was hilarious.

411
00:14:33,286 --> 00:14:36,140
Oh, that was... ♪ hilarious ♪

412
00:14:36,260 --> 00:14:39,525
♪ That's hilarious ♪

413
00:14:39,645 --> 00:14:41,593
So you're not pregnant?
This isn't yours?

414
00:14:41,713 --> 00:14:42,684
[Bleep], no.

415
00:14:42,804 --> 00:14:46,011
Do you know how many different
pills I take,

416
00:14:46,131 --> 00:14:48,160
birth control or otherwise?

417
00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:51,091
There is no way that I could
be pregnant with a human baby.

418
00:14:51,211 --> 00:14:52,979
Thank God.
Yes!

419
00:14:53,099 --> 00:14:54,915
Tommy has his life back!
Let's go!

420
00:14:55,035 --> 00:14:55,924
What the hell
is wrong with you, man?

421
00:14:56,044 --> 00:14:57,049
That's my sister.

422
00:14:57,629 --> 00:14:59,114
Nah!
I'm just kidding, man.

423
00:14:59,234 --> 00:15:02,100
She's the worst.
You dodged a bullet, baby.

424
00:15:02,220 --> 00:15:03,301
- Congratulations.
- Thanks.

425
00:15:03,324 --> 00:15:04,540
Bad, bad, bad, bad.

426
00:15:04,660 --> 00:15:07,008
Well, Macklin,
it's not Mona-Lisa.

427
00:15:07,092 --> 00:15:08,723
It's not me, it's not Donna,
it's not Leslie.

428
00:15:08,843 --> 00:15:10,604
There was only one other woman
at that cabin.

429
00:15:10,724 --> 00:15:12,282
April?
No, she would've told me.

430
00:15:12,402 --> 00:15:13,861
Besides, the math
doesn't add up

431
00:15:13,981 --> 00:15:16,111
because we only have sex
every single day.

432
00:15:16,231 --> 00:15:19,100
And since she's the only one
that we haven't talked to,

433
00:15:19,220 --> 00:15:21,309
it has to be hers.

434
00:15:21,429 --> 00:15:22,782
Oh, my God.

435
00:15:27,096 --> 00:15:28,607
I don't like seeing you
like this.

436
00:15:28,727 --> 00:15:30,164
I've never felt
this way before.

437
00:15:30,284 --> 00:15:31,325
Maybe I should just quit.

438
00:15:31,445 --> 00:15:33,016
Maybe we should both quit,

439
00:15:33,136 --> 00:15:34,457
and we should move
to the Bahamas,

440
00:15:34,541 --> 00:15:37,773
live on a beach,
catch fish with homemade spears.

441
00:15:37,893 --> 00:15:40,023
Yeah, you'd last
about 30 seconds with that work.

442
00:15:40,143 --> 00:15:41,355
When we went to Hawaii,

443
00:15:41,475 --> 00:15:43,155
you woke me up at 3:00 A.M.
to watch <i>Meet the Press.</i>

444
00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:44,900
Well, it was Elizabeth Warren.

445
00:15:45,020 --> 00:15:47,049
Like, I'm not going
to watch that live?

446
00:15:47,169 --> 00:15:48,649
Look, you can hate
your job sometimes.

447
00:15:48,710 --> 00:15:50,349
It's allowed.
But let me ask you this:

448
00:15:50,469 --> 00:15:51,990
Do you think this town
is better off

449
00:15:52,110 --> 00:15:53,803
- than it was a year ago?
- Yes.

450
00:15:53,923 --> 00:15:55,683
Do you stand behind
everything you've done?

451
00:15:55,801 --> 00:15:57,707
- Yes.
- Then screw 'em.

452
00:15:58,573 --> 00:16:00,726
But even if I wanted
to fight this recall,

453
00:16:00,846 --> 00:16:01,981
how would I do it?

454
00:16:03,249 --> 00:16:04,860
Thank you all for coming.

455
00:16:04,969 --> 00:16:06,702
As most of you probably know,

456
00:16:06,770 --> 00:16:09,172
there is a large committee
that has announced plans

457
00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:10,639
to recall me from office.

458
00:16:10,707 --> 00:16:13,576
My response to them is this:

459
00:16:13,643 --> 00:16:15,181
Bring it on.

460
00:16:15,301 --> 00:16:17,812
Step up.
<i>Step Up 2: The Streets.</i>

461
00:16:17,881 --> 00:16:19,584
I'm sorry,
my adrenaline is pumping,

462
00:16:19,704 --> 00:16:21,548
so all I can think of
is dance movie titles.

463
00:16:21,668 --> 00:16:23,375
<i>Stomp the Yard.</i>
There's one.

464
00:16:23,495 --> 00:16:25,322
Look, I work very hard
for this town,

465
00:16:25,442 --> 00:16:26,440
as hard as I can,

466
00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:28,308
and all that matters to me
is whether or not

467
00:16:28,428 --> 00:16:30,728
everyone here thinks
that they are better off now

468
00:16:30,848 --> 00:16:32,654
than they were a year ago.

469
00:16:32,774 --> 00:16:33,701
I think you are.

470
00:16:33,821 --> 00:16:35,965
If you disagree with me,
then go ahead and recall me.

471
00:16:36,085 --> 00:16:38,157
Go crazy.
<i>You Got Served.</i>

472
00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:40,409
<i>Silver Linings Playbook,</i>
kind of.

473
00:16:40,641 --> 00:16:42,121
The committee says
they plan to push

474
00:16:42,220 --> 00:16:43,491
for a recall vote
within two months.

475
00:16:43,611 --> 00:16:44,940
- Do you have a comment on that?
- Nope.

476
00:16:45,060 --> 00:16:48,071
Again, all I really care about
is are you better off?

477
00:16:48,191 --> 00:16:49,830
I think I'm better off.

478
00:16:49,950 --> 00:16:51,249
I haven't had a date
in a while,

479
00:16:51,369 --> 00:16:52,994
but I'm learning a lot
about me.

480
00:16:53,114 --> 00:16:54,634
Well, I wasn't
asking you specifically,

481
00:16:54,650 --> 00:16:55,784
but I'm happy
to hear that, Shauna.

482
00:16:55,904 --> 00:16:58,885
So, in conclusion,
recall, shmecall.

483
00:16:59,005 --> 00:17:02,380
No, I can't end
my big press conference

484
00:17:02,500 --> 00:17:03,621
by saying
"Recall, shmecall."

485
00:17:03,666 --> 00:17:05,586
That's ridiculous.
Ben, can you help me out here?

486
00:17:05,605 --> 00:17:07,766
That concludes councilwoman
Knope's press conference.

487
00:17:07,872 --> 00:17:09,621
And if you have
any further questions...

488
00:17:09,741 --> 00:17:12,211
hold on to them,

489
00:17:12,331 --> 00:17:13,901
because she has
a lot of work to do.

490
00:17:14,021 --> 00:17:15,210
Thanks, honey.
<i>Honey.</i>

491
00:17:15,330 --> 00:17:17,829
That's another dance movie
with Jessica alba.

492
00:17:18,797 --> 00:17:19,969
Alright, people.

493
00:17:20,151 --> 00:17:21,869
The Pawnee river's
not gonna clean itself.

494
00:17:21,989 --> 00:17:24,157
Volunteer weekend
task force, mobilize.

495
00:17:24,225 --> 00:17:26,025
Oh, Leslie,
this goes without saying,

496
00:17:26,093 --> 00:17:28,394
but if you need
any speeches or testimonials

497
00:17:28,461 --> 00:17:30,729
or just general enthusiasm
for your recall fight,

498
00:17:30,797 --> 00:17:31,897
I'm your man.

499
00:17:31,964 --> 00:17:33,165
- Thank you, Chris.
- You're welcome.

500
00:17:33,233 --> 00:17:34,866
I'll see you at the river.
Oh, oh, oh!

501
00:17:34,934 --> 00:17:37,259
Last one to pick up
100 rusty cans

502
00:17:37,538 --> 00:17:39,605
has still accomplished
a great deal.

503
00:17:39,673 --> 00:17:40,994
Hey, maybe after,
you wanna come

504
00:17:41,041 --> 00:17:42,241
meet me and Chris for a drink?

505
00:17:42,276 --> 00:17:44,276
Sure. Hey, how's it going
with you guys?

506
00:17:44,343 --> 00:17:47,446
We're great, actually,
and we're having a good time.

507
00:17:47,513 --> 00:17:48,980
- Sex is ridiculous.
- Mm-hmm.

508
00:17:49,048 --> 00:17:51,149
Hopefully, that ridiculous sex
will lead to a baby.

509
00:17:51,217 --> 00:17:52,191
I'm so happy for you.

510
00:17:52,289 --> 00:17:53,456
Just remember
to use protection.

511
00:17:53,525 --> 00:17:55,425
Wait, no, don't.
That would defeat the purpose.

512
00:17:55,493 --> 00:17:57,360
Okay, no.
Do your thing.

513
00:17:59,557 --> 00:18:01,397
Yeah!

514
00:18:01,464 --> 00:18:04,648
- My wife is pregnant!
- Okay, put me down.

515
00:18:04,768 --> 00:18:05,801
Hey, you can't keep it from me.

516
00:18:05,869 --> 00:18:06,802
I found
the pregnancy test, honey.

517
00:18:06,870 --> 00:18:08,070
Honey, I'm not pregnant, okay?

518
00:18:08,071 --> 00:18:09,632
And if I were,
you shouldn't lift me up.

519
00:18:09,726 --> 00:18:11,311
Wait, are you sure you're not?

520
00:18:11,431 --> 00:18:13,083
Yeah.
We've talked about this.

521
00:18:13,203 --> 00:18:13,929
Remember?

522
00:18:14,049 --> 00:18:15,180
I wanna wait until we're 50

523
00:18:15,300 --> 00:18:17,812
and then adopt a set of creepy
adult twins from Romania.

524
00:18:17,932 --> 00:18:19,025
Oh, yeah.
Of course.

525
00:18:19,145 --> 00:18:21,025
Actually, there is something
I need to tell you.

526
00:18:21,048 --> 00:18:22,673
You're pregnant.

527
00:18:22,793 --> 00:18:24,023
- No.
- No!

528
00:18:24,143 --> 00:18:25,756
We just ruled that out.

529
00:18:25,876 --> 00:18:27,724
- Ah, dang it.
- Okay, a while ago,

530
00:18:27,844 --> 00:18:29,374
I applied to veterinary school
in Bloomington,

531
00:18:29,494 --> 00:18:33,035
and I just found out that...
I got in.

532
00:18:33,155 --> 00:18:35,374
You did?
That's amazing!

533
00:18:35,494 --> 00:18:36,996
Wait, why did you wait
to tell me?

534
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,505
Because I don't even know
if I wanna go, okay?

535
00:18:39,625 --> 00:18:41,858
I mean, yes, it's been my dream
to work with animals

536
00:18:41,978 --> 00:18:44,013
since I was a kid
and everything.

537
00:18:44,244 --> 00:18:45,185
But it would mean
I would be spending

538
00:18:45,305 --> 00:18:47,013
a lot of time
apart from you, and...

539
00:18:47,133 --> 00:18:48,574
Oh, we could get through that.

540
00:18:48,704 --> 00:18:50,265
I mean, look.
It would suck for a while,

541
00:18:50,305 --> 00:18:52,105
and I would miss you
while you're gone.

542
00:18:53,086 --> 00:18:55,091
But as I've known about you

543
00:18:55,211 --> 00:18:57,164
for the past 20 seconds,

544
00:18:57,284 --> 00:18:59,193
this is your dream.

545
00:19:00,205 --> 00:19:01,796
I'm really glad I married you.

546
00:19:01,916 --> 00:19:03,555
Yeah, we made a good call
on that one.

547
00:19:04,796 --> 00:19:06,283
So I just wanted
to let you know

548
00:19:06,403 --> 00:19:08,262
I will not
be selling Rent-A-Swag.

549
00:19:08,382 --> 00:19:09,830
And you can go tell your client

550
00:19:09,950 --> 00:19:12,592
he now has 100 problems?

551
00:19:12,712 --> 00:19:14,321
- Is it Jay-Z?
- No.

552
00:19:14,441 --> 00:19:15,521
But since you're not taking
the deal,

553
00:19:15,641 --> 00:19:16,748
I should inform you
that my client

554
00:19:16,868 --> 00:19:19,302
will be moving on to plan B:
Opening his own store

555
00:19:19,422 --> 00:19:20,701
directly across the street
from yours.

556
00:19:20,821 --> 00:19:21,696
Across the street?

557
00:19:21,816 --> 00:19:22,814
What kind of store
is it gonna be?

558
00:19:22,934 --> 00:19:24,295
He's calling it
"Tommy's Closet."

559
00:19:24,353 --> 00:19:26,510
It's a high-end
secondhand clothing store

560
00:19:26,630 --> 00:19:27,601
where parents can rent clothes

561
00:19:27,721 --> 00:19:29,155
for their teens,
tweens, and pres,

562
00:19:29,275 --> 00:19:32,321
as well as babies, toddlers,
grown-ups, and olds.

563
00:19:32,441 --> 00:19:34,040
But that's my idea and my name.

564
00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:36,464
So I guess only Domino's
is allowed to sell pizza now?

565
00:19:36,584 --> 00:19:38,455
It's called capitalism,
Mr. Haverford,

566
00:19:38,575 --> 00:19:40,424
and you are about to get
a free lesson.

567
00:19:40,544 --> 00:19:43,772
Only this free lesson
is going to cost you.

568
00:19:44,208 --> 00:19:46,219
So it's not free?

569
00:19:47,515 --> 00:19:49,328
You're right.
That was confusing.

570
00:19:49,996 --> 00:19:51,989
This lesson will cost you.
Good day.

571
00:19:52,109 --> 00:19:54,607
This sucks,
but I have to admit:

572
00:19:54,907 --> 00:19:56,309
It's a pretty baller move.

573
00:19:56,895 --> 00:19:58,678
You sure this isn't Diddy?

574
00:20:01,269 --> 00:20:03,347
- It is Diddy.
- I knew it!

575
00:20:03,467 --> 00:20:04,411
It's not Diddy.

576
00:20:06,463 --> 00:20:08,701
Are you sure
everything will be all right

577
00:20:08,821 --> 00:20:09,942
if April goes to vet school?

578
00:20:10,054 --> 00:20:12,320
There are no sure things
in life, son,

579
00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:14,743
but you two seem
pretty solid to me.

580
00:20:14,863 --> 00:20:17,620
- Change is good, I guess.
- Not to me.

581
00:20:17,740 --> 00:20:19,756
Leslie's going around
asking everybody

582
00:20:19,876 --> 00:20:21,856
if they're better off
than they were a year ago.

583
00:20:21,976 --> 00:20:24,360
All I care about
is that I'm the same.

584
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:27,311
If I'm the same as I was
a year ago, I'm happy.

585
00:20:27,431 --> 00:20:28,497
Wait, I forgot.

586
00:20:28,797 --> 00:20:30,700
- Who the hell is pregnant?
- What?

587
00:20:30,820 --> 00:20:32,421
I found a pregnancy test
at your cabin,

588
00:20:32,429 --> 00:20:33,837
and I checked with all the girls
over there.

589
00:20:33,957 --> 00:20:36,216
It wasn't any of them.

590
00:20:36,557 --> 00:20:38,725
Hello, darling.
What a surprise.

591
00:20:38,845 --> 00:20:40,844
Hey.
Can we talk?

592
00:20:40,964 --> 00:20:42,815
Maybe in private?

593
00:20:45,751 --> 00:20:52,331
<font color="#ec14bd">Sync & corrections by honeybunny</font>
<font color="#ec14bd">www.addic7ed.com</font>

