1
00:00:02,788 --> 00:00:04,523
I can't do a job interview right
now. My head's not in the right place.

2
00:00:04,590 --> 00:00:07,392
I should be in jail, not Lacey.

3
00:00:07,460 --> 00:00:10,529
Lacey was on probation. She should've
known better than to be shoplifting.

4
00:00:10,596 --> 00:00:12,230
I just keep thinking,

5
00:00:12,298 --> 00:00:14,132
"I should've put the
marshmallows in my clothes."

6
00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:15,967
But, no.

7
00:00:16,035 --> 00:00:18,436
I watched her put her hands in her
dress and I tried to say "Stop,"

8
00:00:18,504 --> 00:00:21,739
and then the only sound
that came out was "Oh-hh."

9
00:00:21,807 --> 00:00:24,643
You can't sit around thinking about Lacey.

10
00:00:24,710 --> 00:00:27,312
You gotta move forward. The best
way to do that is to get a job.

11
00:00:27,380 --> 00:00:29,814
It's what Lacey would want you to do...

12
00:00:29,882 --> 00:00:32,551
if she ever thought about
anybody other than herself.

13
00:00:32,618 --> 00:00:34,586
Why would Kate even hire me?

14
00:00:34,654 --> 00:00:37,889
Because you have all the qualifications
to make a great receptionist.

15
00:00:37,956 --> 00:00:40,292
You can talk, you can push buttons,

16
00:00:40,359 --> 00:00:43,528
you're a carbon-based life form.

17
00:00:43,596 --> 00:00:46,665
But what if Kate and I don't get along?

18
00:00:46,732 --> 00:00:48,700
Look, you have a history
of seeking out women

19
00:00:48,767 --> 00:00:50,735
who are cold, domineering,
and borderline abusive.

20
00:00:50,803 --> 00:00:52,671
You're gonna love her.

21
00:00:52,738 --> 00:00:55,607
So you think she'll yell at me?

22
00:00:55,675 --> 00:00:57,242
I don't see why not.

23
00:00:59,812 --> 00:01:01,546
Hey, come on. I got a lot of work to do.

24
00:01:04,550 --> 00:01:06,585
Fix your hair. This is a job interview.

25
00:01:08,254 --> 00:01:10,788
I like her.

26
00:01:12,658 --> 00:01:13,658
- synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -

27
00:01:16,529 --> 00:01:19,264
So, Nolan, tell me about yourself.

28
00:01:19,332 --> 00:01:22,367
Well, I think my resume speaks for itself.

29
00:01:23,936 --> 00:01:26,003
From '98 to '98,

30
00:01:26,071 --> 00:01:27,505
I worked at Taco Bell.

31
00:01:27,573 --> 00:01:31,343
And then from '98 to '98,

32
00:01:31,410 --> 00:01:33,044
I worked at Jiffy Lube.

33
00:01:33,112 --> 00:01:35,146
Uh...

34
00:01:35,214 --> 00:01:37,915
- and then in '98, uh...
- Can I see that for a minute?

35
00:01:42,888 --> 00:01:44,789
But I still have 14 more years to go.

36
00:01:44,857 --> 00:01:47,024
On your resume or to tell
us what's left in '98?

37
00:01:49,428 --> 00:01:51,463
Would you mind waiting in the
reception area while Kate and I talk?

38
00:01:55,268 --> 00:01:57,235
Oh. I should tell you.

39
00:01:57,303 --> 00:01:59,704
I do suffer from migraines,

40
00:01:59,772 --> 00:02:02,474
so there'll be days that the
office has to be pitch-black.

41
00:02:06,879 --> 00:02:10,148
So what's it gonna take to land this guy?

42
00:02:10,215 --> 00:02:13,217
I know, I know. He's a mess,
but hire him and I'll owe ya.

43
00:02:13,286 --> 00:02:14,786
Okay. What do I get?

44
00:02:14,853 --> 00:02:17,589
How does an entire night of
passionate lovemaking sound?

45
00:02:17,657 --> 00:02:20,659
- Exhausting.
- Then give him the job or that's what you'll get.

46
00:02:22,194 --> 00:02:24,663
Uh-uh. You're gonna have to do better.

47
00:02:24,730 --> 00:02:26,631
This guy's like a human rescue dog.

48
00:02:26,699 --> 00:02:29,367
He's cute and he's sweet,
but soon as I leave,

49
00:02:29,435 --> 00:02:31,269
he'll whine and pee on the couch.

50
00:02:31,337 --> 00:02:33,137
Okay, how 'bout this?

51
00:02:33,205 --> 00:02:36,308
I give you my credit card and
you go crazy at Agent Provocateur.

52
00:02:36,375 --> 00:02:38,677
Ooh, can I get the fishnet
bodysuit with the horsehair whip?

53
00:02:40,413 --> 00:02:42,180
- You can if you hire Nolan.
- Fine.

54
00:02:45,284 --> 00:02:47,185
You know the whip isn't for show.

55
00:02:47,252 --> 00:02:48,753
I know.

56
00:02:51,156 --> 00:02:54,426
After four hours of trying to
lead this woman to fashion sanity,

57
00:02:54,493 --> 00:02:56,994
she picks out the pink leopard-skin coat.

58
00:02:57,062 --> 00:02:58,896
I thought, "She has to be a hooker."

59
00:02:58,964 --> 00:03:02,266
Patrick, you really gotta
work on being less judgmental.

60
00:03:02,335 --> 00:03:04,569
Just because she has a bold fashion sense

61
00:03:04,637 --> 00:03:05,970
doesn't mean she's a prostitute.

62
00:03:06,038 --> 00:03:08,973
She offered to pay me with her mouth.

63
00:03:09,041 --> 00:03:12,210
Well, that does mean she's a prostitute.

64
00:03:12,277 --> 00:03:16,180
That reminds me, how's
Lacey doing in the hoosegow?

65
00:03:16,248 --> 00:03:18,916
I talked to her last night.
She's having a hard time in jail.

66
00:03:18,984 --> 00:03:20,452
And, big surprise,

67
00:03:20,519 --> 00:03:22,654
she's getting into it with
some of the other inmates.

68
00:03:22,722 --> 00:03:25,623
So I've arranged to do an anger
management session at the jail.

69
00:03:25,691 --> 00:03:29,026
Might wanna consider wearing
some protection over your, eh,

70
00:03:29,094 --> 00:03:30,995
private parts.

71
00:03:31,063 --> 00:03:34,232
Otherwise, those cats will
be scratching at your post.

72
00:03:35,968 --> 00:03:38,903
Well, thanks for that homespun wisdom.

73
00:03:38,971 --> 00:03:41,239
So, Nolan. How do you
like working for Kate?

74
00:03:41,306 --> 00:03:43,207
I've never been so fulfilled.

75
00:03:43,275 --> 00:03:45,877
I made some coffee, did some filing,

76
00:03:45,944 --> 00:03:48,546
saw some crazy half-naked pictures of her,

77
00:03:48,614 --> 00:03:50,181
watered some plants...

78
00:03:50,249 --> 00:03:52,617
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What's this about pictures?

79
00:03:52,685 --> 00:03:55,587
That was my bad.

80
00:03:55,654 --> 00:03:57,856
I opened up her outgoing mail by mistake

81
00:03:57,923 --> 00:03:59,391
and a lingerie photo fell out.

82
00:03:59,458 --> 00:04:01,493
With a lot of shaking...

83
00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:04,763
a bunch of other photos
fell out by mistake, too.

84
00:04:04,830 --> 00:04:07,999
How can you not tell the
difference between outgoing

85
00:04:08,066 --> 00:04:09,634
and incoming mail?

86
00:04:09,702 --> 00:04:11,836
When you're facing the desk,

87
00:04:11,904 --> 00:04:14,706
the outgoing is on the right, but then
when you're sitting behind the desk,

88
00:04:14,774 --> 00:04:16,474
it switches to the left.

89
00:04:16,577 --> 00:04:18,745
It's like stairs.

90
00:04:18,813 --> 00:04:20,814
Are they going up? Are they going down?

91
00:04:20,881 --> 00:04:22,148
Who knows?

92
00:04:23,617 --> 00:04:25,418
All right. I'll see everybody next week.

93
00:04:28,923 --> 00:04:30,690
Nolan, can I talk to you for a minute?

94
00:04:30,758 --> 00:04:32,826
- Is everything okay?
- Everything's fine.

95
00:04:32,893 --> 00:04:35,595
Everything's fine. It's
just there's a lot of stress

96
00:04:35,663 --> 00:04:38,164
in a new job and it
can affect one's memory.

97
00:04:38,231 --> 00:04:40,467
So I thought we'd do some
quick memory exercises

98
00:04:40,534 --> 00:04:42,635
- and make sure everything's okay.
- Okay.

99
00:04:42,703 --> 00:04:44,704
Completely off the top of my head

100
00:04:44,772 --> 00:04:46,506
and unrelated to anything,

101
00:04:46,574 --> 00:04:49,375
can you remember

102
00:04:49,443 --> 00:04:53,012
where Dr. Wales was sending
those naked pictures of herself?

103
00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:55,715
Oh, man. I don't know.

104
00:04:55,783 --> 00:04:58,117
Work must be really stressing me out.

105
00:04:58,185 --> 00:05:00,186
Think, Nolan, think.

106
00:05:00,253 --> 00:05:03,356
All I can tell you is what she was wearing.

107
00:05:03,423 --> 00:05:06,192
It was black and see-through.

108
00:05:06,259 --> 00:05:08,528
Her boyfriend Bart's a lucky guy.

109
00:05:08,596 --> 00:05:11,531
Bart? Who's Bart?

110
00:05:11,599 --> 00:05:14,133
I don't know. She wrote it on the picture,

111
00:05:14,201 --> 00:05:17,003
"Bart, for your eyes only. Katie."

112
00:05:17,070 --> 00:05:18,972
Katie? Since she was eight years old,

113
00:05:19,039 --> 00:05:21,541
her nickname's been Dr. Wales.

114
00:05:21,609 --> 00:05:25,277
- Is it bad I saw those?
- I wouldn't tell Dr. Wales

115
00:05:25,345 --> 00:05:27,680
and I certainly wouldn't
tell her that you told me.

116
00:05:27,748 --> 00:05:29,315
We don't want to embarrass her.

117
00:05:29,383 --> 00:05:32,519
Based on the pictures of her
crawling around on the mirror,

118
00:05:32,586 --> 00:05:35,221
I don't think she embarrasses easily.

119
00:05:35,288 --> 00:05:38,324
Yeah, she is a confident woman.

120
00:05:38,392 --> 00:05:41,127
Who drinks milk out of a saucer like a cat.

121
00:05:46,747 --> 00:05:48,382
Hi, everybody. I'm Charlie Goodson.

122
00:05:48,450 --> 00:05:51,118
I am an anger management therapist.

123
00:05:51,186 --> 00:05:53,287
There's been some issues
on this cell-block,

124
00:05:53,355 --> 00:05:55,289
so Dr. Cynthia thought it'd be a good idea

125
00:05:55,357 --> 00:05:57,992
if I sat in for her while she
recovered from her injuries.

126
00:05:59,660 --> 00:06:01,095
Oh, and she wanted me to tell you guys,

127
00:06:01,162 --> 00:06:02,963
"That was not cool at all."

128
00:06:03,031 --> 00:06:06,367
You know, you look like you
keep it real nice down there.

129
00:06:08,103 --> 00:06:10,237
Yeah, bet you're bigger than
your wrists would indicate.

130
00:06:12,073 --> 00:06:13,640
Let's keep it professional, ladies.

131
00:06:13,708 --> 00:06:16,977
But, yes, my wrists are misleadingly slim.

132
00:06:18,679 --> 00:06:20,447
Now, I know some of you might be wondering,

133
00:06:20,515 --> 00:06:23,583
"Can a man relate to women's anger issues?"

134
00:06:23,651 --> 00:06:25,486
Well, the truth is,

135
00:06:25,553 --> 00:06:27,388
most men have female traits.

136
00:06:27,455 --> 00:06:29,923
Just as I'm sure most of you have...

137
00:06:29,991 --> 00:06:32,059
female traits.

138
00:06:33,794 --> 00:06:35,929
It says here there was
an incident recently.

139
00:06:35,997 --> 00:06:37,531
And as an unbiased observer

140
00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:39,166
who doesn't know anybody here...

141
00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:47,074
I think I can mediate objectively. Ahem.

142
00:06:47,142 --> 00:06:50,477
Now, I understand it's easy
for men to voice their anger

143
00:06:50,545 --> 00:06:53,013
and women are taught sometimes
to withhold their anger...

144
00:06:53,081 --> 00:06:54,881
I'ma gut this ho like a puppy.

145
00:06:56,384 --> 00:06:58,218
Actually, I believe the expression is

146
00:06:58,286 --> 00:07:00,854
"Gut this ho like a trout."

147
00:07:00,922 --> 00:07:02,694
She always talks like that.

148
00:07:02,695 --> 00:07:04,990
Yesterday, she said she was
gonna stab me in the face.

149
00:07:04,992 --> 00:07:09,029
Not true. She said, "You got a
face that was good for stabbing."

150
00:07:09,097 --> 00:07:12,132
- It was a compliment.
- Ladies, ladies.

151
00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:15,335
Donna certainly seems to
have a big problem with Lacey,

152
00:07:15,403 --> 00:07:17,271
- but let's hear it from her directly.
- All right.

153
00:07:17,338 --> 00:07:19,873
Curry Spice over here is
trying to steal my girlfriend.

154
00:07:19,941 --> 00:07:22,476
I am not, bitch. I just
gave her a makeover.

155
00:07:22,544 --> 00:07:25,579
- Yeah, makeover, my ass.
- I would, but I don't have that kind of time.

156
00:07:25,646 --> 00:07:27,647
Hey-yy!

157
00:07:27,715 --> 00:07:31,118
Sounds to me like Kim and
Donna are in a relationship

158
00:07:31,186 --> 00:07:34,321
and Donna is experiencing jealousy
over Lacey giving Kim a makeover.

159
00:07:34,389 --> 00:07:36,290
I just wanted to feel pretty.

160
00:07:36,357 --> 00:07:39,259
And you totally are. You look crazy hot.

161
00:07:39,327 --> 00:07:41,161
- Hey!
- Easy, Donna. Easy, Donna.

162
00:07:41,229 --> 00:07:44,965
There's no way she could've
possibly meant that.

163
00:07:45,032 --> 00:07:46,866
You got the nerve to come in here

164
00:07:46,934 --> 00:07:48,735
with your fancy education

165
00:07:48,803 --> 00:07:51,305
and your belt and your shoelaces.

166
00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:55,175
What do you know about
what goes on in here?

167
00:07:55,243 --> 00:07:57,711
Yeah, you don't know
nothing about jealousy.

168
00:07:57,778 --> 00:08:00,447
Oh, I know jealousy. Believe me.

169
00:08:00,515 --> 00:08:01,881
I'll share a little.

170
00:08:01,949 --> 00:08:04,718
Recently I found out that my girlfriend

171
00:08:04,785 --> 00:08:08,054
was sending some suggestive
pictures to another man.

172
00:08:08,123 --> 00:08:10,157
I'm struggling with jealousy as well,

173
00:08:10,225 --> 00:08:11,858
but I've got it under control.

174
00:08:11,926 --> 00:08:14,194
Mm-hmm. If you got
everything so under control,

175
00:08:14,262 --> 00:08:17,197
why is your lady sending
naked pictures to another man?

176
00:08:17,265 --> 00:08:19,166
We have an arrangement.
We see other people.

177
00:08:19,234 --> 00:08:21,735
Pss-shew, I wouldn't lick that stamp.

178
00:08:21,802 --> 00:08:23,170
Somebody else been licking it.

179
00:08:23,238 --> 00:08:26,973
Am I right?

180
00:08:27,041 --> 00:08:30,344
No, no, no. Ours is not really
a traditional relationship.

181
00:08:30,411 --> 00:08:33,079
Yeah, it's a relationship built on lies.

182
00:08:33,148 --> 00:08:35,349
It's a little more sophisticated than that.

183
00:08:35,416 --> 00:08:37,284
We have a noncommittal, purely physical,

184
00:08:37,352 --> 00:08:40,354
friendly, but not emotional arrangement...

185
00:08:40,421 --> 00:08:43,223
built on lies.

186
00:08:43,291 --> 00:08:45,492
Look, Donna. I didn't mean to humiliate you

187
00:08:45,560 --> 00:08:48,629
the way this woman is
obviously humiliating Charlie.

188
00:08:48,696 --> 00:08:50,930
All right.

189
00:08:50,998 --> 00:08:52,866
I won't stab you in the face.

190
00:08:54,702 --> 00:08:56,470
Thanks.

191
00:08:56,538 --> 00:08:59,939
Think maybe you could
give me a makeover, too?

192
00:09:00,007 --> 00:09:02,676
That depends... is that really just a trick

193
00:09:02,743 --> 00:09:04,144
so you can stab me in the face?

194
00:09:06,414 --> 00:09:07,548
Kinda.

195
00:09:11,085 --> 00:09:13,220
A dream analysis is tricky,

196
00:09:13,288 --> 00:09:16,190
but the flat tires could
represent your frustration

197
00:09:16,257 --> 00:09:18,592
with the slow progress of
your ongoing anger issues

198
00:09:18,660 --> 00:09:21,562
and the scary hermaphrodite

199
00:09:21,629 --> 00:09:24,898
might relate to when you
were at the women's prison

200
00:09:24,965 --> 00:09:27,867
and you saw the scary hermaphrodite.

201
00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:32,872
You see, that's why you've got the PhD.

202
00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:35,775
Well, I gotta go, Charlie. My
4:00 will be here any minute.

203
00:09:35,843 --> 00:09:39,213
- Kate, before I go, can I ask you a quick question?
- Mm-hmm.

204
00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:42,048
- Our arrangement hasn't changed, right?
- What arrangement?

205
00:09:42,116 --> 00:09:45,252
You know, if one of us is seeing
somebody, they tell the other.

206
00:09:45,320 --> 00:09:48,288
Are you trying to tell
me you're seeing somebody?

207
00:09:48,356 --> 00:09:50,357
No, no. I'm not.

208
00:09:50,425 --> 00:09:53,960
Well, o-kay.

209
00:09:54,028 --> 00:09:55,229
See ya later.

210
00:09:57,832 --> 00:10:01,067
- So our arrangement is the same.
- Yes.

211
00:10:01,135 --> 00:10:04,003
'Cause if I was seeing somebody,
you'd be the first to know.

212
00:10:04,071 --> 00:10:05,572
Well, actually the third.

213
00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:08,542
Obviously, I'd be the first
and then the girl, of course,

214
00:10:08,610 --> 00:10:11,678
she'd be in on it, too, but then you.

215
00:10:11,746 --> 00:10:14,414
Well, I got the bronze.
Hey, at least I medaled.

216
00:10:14,482 --> 00:10:15,649
Goodbye, Charlie.

217
00:10:21,589 --> 00:10:23,890
Nolan, remember the guy

218
00:10:23,958 --> 00:10:25,792
that Kate sent those
pictures to the other day?

219
00:10:25,860 --> 00:10:28,295
I sure do.

220
00:10:28,363 --> 00:10:30,930
Hey, my memory's back.

221
00:10:30,998 --> 00:10:33,166
Guess I'm not so stressed anymore.

222
00:10:33,234 --> 00:10:36,870
Great. I need you to go in Kate's
phone and get me his address.

223
00:10:36,937 --> 00:10:38,872
Oh, I'm sorry, Charlie.

224
00:10:38,939 --> 00:10:40,340
I like Kate, I like this job,

225
00:10:40,408 --> 00:10:42,276
and if I go through her
phone, she'll fire me.

226
00:10:42,343 --> 00:10:45,379
Okay. I didn't want to
have to tell anybody this,

227
00:10:45,446 --> 00:10:47,648
but I'm throwing a surprise party for her

228
00:10:47,715 --> 00:10:50,384
and it just wouldn't be
the same without good old...

229
00:10:50,451 --> 00:10:52,753
that Bart guy.

230
00:10:52,820 --> 00:10:54,154
Where you gonna have it?

231
00:10:54,221 --> 00:10:56,356
At a bowling alley.

232
00:10:56,424 --> 00:10:58,325
So you'll get me that address?

233
00:10:58,393 --> 00:11:00,394
But Kate hates bowling. We
gotta find another place.

234
00:11:00,461 --> 00:11:02,429
Fine. You get me that address
and I'll find another place.

235
00:11:02,497 --> 00:11:05,999
You know what's good? A batting cage.

236
00:11:06,066 --> 00:11:09,102
- Perfect. We'll have the party at a batting cage.
- Or Disneyland.

237
00:11:09,170 --> 00:11:12,306
Just get me the address, okay?

238
00:11:12,373 --> 00:11:15,975
Fine. You know, it doesn't seem like
you put a lot of thought into this.

239
00:11:17,645 --> 00:11:19,313
Remember, don't tell Kate anything.

240
00:11:19,380 --> 00:11:22,081
Well, there's nothing to tell
because of your poor planning.

241
00:11:33,643 --> 00:11:35,044
- Hey, Nolan.
- Hey.

242
00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:36,812
You get that guy's name
and address I asked for?

243
00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:40,515
Yeah. I got it out of her phone
when she went to the bathroom.

244
00:11:40,583 --> 00:11:43,518
Oh, that is great. I
really appreciate this.

245
00:11:43,586 --> 00:11:45,420
See ya later.

246
00:11:47,724 --> 00:11:49,992
- Everything okay?
- Yeah.

247
00:11:50,060 --> 00:11:52,161
It's just, uh...

248
00:11:52,229 --> 00:11:54,029
I haven't got my invitation yet.

249
00:11:55,565 --> 00:11:58,267
- Invitation?
- To the surprise party.

250
00:11:58,335 --> 00:12:00,502
I virtually planned the thing.

251
00:12:00,570 --> 00:12:03,272
Oh.

252
00:12:03,340 --> 00:12:05,207
Turns out her buddy Bart told her about it.

253
00:12:05,275 --> 00:12:06,675
Ruined the whole thing.

254
00:12:06,743 --> 00:12:08,643
Then why do you need his address?

255
00:12:08,711 --> 00:12:10,812
Well, someone's gotta
write him an angry letter.

256
00:12:13,549 --> 00:12:15,817
No, Sam. I'm not buying
you another pair of boots.

257
00:12:15,886 --> 00:12:18,387
You got one pair at my
house and two pair here.

258
00:12:18,454 --> 00:12:20,222
Yeah, but if you guys
hadn't gotten divorced,

259
00:12:20,290 --> 00:12:22,391
then all of my boots would be at one house

260
00:12:22,458 --> 00:12:24,393
and this wouldn't even be a problem.

261
00:12:24,460 --> 00:12:26,295
Don't you guys even feel guilty about that?

262
00:12:26,363 --> 00:12:28,297
Sam, your mom and I were doing fine.

263
00:12:28,365 --> 00:12:30,199
It was your boot habit that tore us apart.

264
00:12:31,935 --> 00:12:34,103
Okay. Different approach.

265
00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:35,570
Sincerity.

266
00:12:35,638 --> 00:12:37,973
It would really mean a lot to me

267
00:12:38,041 --> 00:12:39,641
if you guys bought me these boots.

268
00:12:39,709 --> 00:12:41,977
Different approach. Sarcasm.

269
00:12:42,045 --> 00:12:45,414
Yeah, sure. You'll have
those boots any day now.

270
00:12:45,481 --> 00:12:47,849
Final approach. Lying.

271
00:12:47,918 --> 00:12:49,351
Love you.

272
00:12:54,757 --> 00:12:56,225
- Here you go.
- Thank you.

273
00:12:56,293 --> 00:12:58,394
Can I ask you something?

274
00:12:58,461 --> 00:13:01,430
All that time that I cheated on you,

275
00:13:01,497 --> 00:13:04,133
did you ever get the urge
to confront any of the women?

276
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,668
What? You cheated on me?

277
00:13:08,671 --> 00:13:10,705
Seriously, I know it's a weird question,

278
00:13:10,773 --> 00:13:12,341
but do you think you would've gotten some

279
00:13:12,409 --> 00:13:14,209
sense of satisfaction from it?

280
00:13:14,277 --> 00:13:15,978
For all I know,

281
00:13:16,046 --> 00:13:18,414
I've met a bunch of 'em
and didn't even know it.

282
00:13:18,481 --> 00:13:21,716
I mean, at the movies,
at the grocery store,

283
00:13:21,784 --> 00:13:25,321
at the home-wrecking skank convention.

284
00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:28,123
You know, every year, I say I'm gonna go.

285
00:13:29,859 --> 00:13:32,561
And every year, I don't.

286
00:13:32,628 --> 00:13:35,931
I thought about it, but then I realized

287
00:13:35,999 --> 00:13:38,300
it's not gonna make me feel any better

288
00:13:38,368 --> 00:13:40,869
to confront them face-to-face.

289
00:13:40,937 --> 00:13:44,440
And showing up on some stranger's
doorstep just makes you pathetic.

290
00:13:44,507 --> 00:13:46,275
Yeah, you're probably right.

291
00:13:55,051 --> 00:13:56,785
Hi. Can I help you?

292
00:13:56,853 --> 00:13:58,587
Wow, look at the wrists on you.

293
00:14:01,024 --> 00:14:03,058
Look, I don't exactly know why I'm here.

294
00:14:03,126 --> 00:14:05,861
I just felt like we had to meet.

295
00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:07,496
Obviously, Kate means a lot to both of us.

296
00:14:07,563 --> 00:14:08,998
Who?

297
00:14:09,065 --> 00:14:11,833
Kate. Kate Wales.

298
00:14:11,901 --> 00:14:13,835
Katie.

299
00:14:13,903 --> 00:14:16,872
Oh, the girl in the pictures.

300
00:14:16,939 --> 00:14:18,440
She got it going on.

301
00:14:20,343 --> 00:14:21,743
Hey, Bart, show some respect.

302
00:14:21,811 --> 00:14:24,213
Oh, you're here to see Bart. I'm his nurse.

303
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:25,647
His nurse?

304
00:14:25,715 --> 00:14:28,950
Yeah. Come on in.

305
00:14:29,019 --> 00:14:31,353
I still enjoyed the naked pictures, though.

306
00:14:31,421 --> 00:14:33,688
I get it, I get it. You're
a nurse, but you're straight.

307
00:14:40,363 --> 00:14:42,398
Bart, somebody's here to see you.

308
00:14:44,700 --> 00:14:47,936
Wow. You're Bart?

309
00:14:48,004 --> 00:14:50,472
Are you here to fix the keyboard?

310
00:14:50,540 --> 00:14:54,243
The va-va-va-vee is sticking.

311
00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:56,111
No, no. No, I'm not.

312
00:14:56,179 --> 00:14:59,181
I'm Charlie Goodson. I'm
a friend of Kate Wales.

313
00:14:59,249 --> 00:15:02,351
Oh, so what can I do for you?

314
00:15:02,419 --> 00:15:05,521
Look, I'm sorry to barge in like this.

315
00:15:05,588 --> 00:15:08,557
Truth is, I'm involved with Kate
and I care about her very much.

316
00:15:08,624 --> 00:15:11,093
Are you and Kate in a relationship?

317
00:15:11,161 --> 00:15:13,828
A relationship with Kate?

318
00:15:13,896 --> 00:15:16,998
Sarcastic ha. Sarcastic ha.

319
00:15:17,067 --> 00:15:18,900
Sigh.

320
00:15:18,968 --> 00:15:20,536
So you're not?

321
00:15:20,603 --> 00:15:22,471
We were once,

322
00:15:22,539 --> 00:15:24,739
but as soon as it got serious,

323
00:15:24,807 --> 00:15:26,542
she broke up with me.

324
00:15:26,609 --> 00:15:27,943
So she ended it, huh?

325
00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:31,713
Yes, and it hit me like a ton of bricks,

326
00:15:31,781 --> 00:15:35,384
as did the actual ton of bricks

327
00:15:35,452 --> 00:15:37,319
that hit me a week later

328
00:15:37,387 --> 00:15:40,222
on a construction site.

329
00:15:40,290 --> 00:15:43,192
Oh, so that's how you ended up in the...

330
00:15:43,259 --> 00:15:44,993
dumb question.

331
00:15:45,061 --> 00:15:47,396
It's all right.

332
00:15:47,464 --> 00:15:50,031
I still have a fulfilling life.

333
00:15:50,100 --> 00:15:53,969
Sarcastic ha. Sarcastic ha.

334
00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:55,571
Look, again, I'm sorry to bother you.

335
00:15:55,638 --> 00:15:58,373
I just... I found out Kate
was sending you pictures.

336
00:15:58,441 --> 00:16:00,209
Kate and I are in a relationship.

337
00:16:00,276 --> 00:16:02,277
Well, it's not really
a relationship. It's...

338
00:16:02,345 --> 00:16:04,179
And it never will be.

339
00:16:04,247 --> 00:16:06,415
You'll never get more than that.

340
00:16:06,483 --> 00:16:09,618
She's a cold one, that Kate.

341
00:16:09,685 --> 00:16:11,920
She is kind of robotic

342
00:16:11,988 --> 00:16:15,090
and hearing it in that
voice really drives it home.

343
00:16:15,158 --> 00:16:17,692
It would be intolerable

344
00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:19,894
if she didn't have such a sweet

345
00:16:19,962 --> 00:16:22,431
va-va-va-va...

346
00:16:22,499 --> 00:16:24,299
heart.

347
00:16:27,170 --> 00:16:28,737
Yeah, I feel your pain.

348
00:16:28,804 --> 00:16:31,673
Stop bragging.

349
00:16:31,741 --> 00:16:33,509
Okay. I'm gonna get going now.

350
00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:34,943
Is there anything I can do for you?

351
00:16:35,011 --> 00:16:36,411
Yes.

352
00:16:36,479 --> 00:16:38,614
Can you pull out that plug?

353
00:16:38,681 --> 00:16:41,617
The grey one. It goes to the lamp.

354
00:16:41,684 --> 00:16:43,485
Sure.

355
00:16:45,921 --> 00:16:48,990
Hey, this is the plug to your life
support machine. You want me to kill you?

356
00:16:49,058 --> 00:16:52,093
If it's not too much trouble.

357
00:16:53,296 --> 00:16:55,297
I'm sorry. I can't do that.

358
00:16:55,365 --> 00:16:56,798
Never mind,

359
00:16:56,766 --> 00:16:59,000
but could you help me

360
00:16:59,069 --> 00:17:01,770
with my medication before you go?

361
00:17:01,837 --> 00:17:04,206
Turn it up to 10.

362
00:17:05,956 --> 00:17:07,423
It's on one now. Wait.

363
00:17:07,490 --> 00:17:09,124
That'll kill you, too.

364
00:17:11,627 --> 00:17:14,563
How 'bout I turn it up to three

365
00:17:14,630 --> 00:17:16,298
and just get you really high?

366
00:17:16,366 --> 00:17:18,267
Sold.

367
00:17:23,454 --> 00:17:26,189
- Morning, Nolan.
- Oh, hey, Dr. Wales.

368
00:17:26,257 --> 00:17:28,992
When you borrowed my phone

369
00:17:29,060 --> 00:17:30,626
to make a call,

370
00:17:30,694 --> 00:17:33,096
did you do anything else with it?

371
00:17:33,164 --> 00:17:34,197
No.

372
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:39,336
I'm going to give you one more
chance to tell me the truth

373
00:17:39,403 --> 00:17:41,371
before I show you the video

374
00:17:41,439 --> 00:17:43,706
you accidentally took
when you were on my phone.

375
00:17:45,176 --> 00:17:47,677
You're bluffing. Nobody's that stupid.

376
00:17:50,147 --> 00:17:52,482
Oh, no. This isn't the address book.

377
00:17:53,985 --> 00:17:56,019
What were you doing in
my address book, Nolan?

378
00:17:56,087 --> 00:17:57,854
I'm sorry.

379
00:17:57,921 --> 00:18:00,823
It's just that Charlie needed
that Bart guy's address.

380
00:18:00,891 --> 00:18:03,026
Son of a bitch.

381
00:18:03,094 --> 00:18:05,628
I can't tell you any
more because of the party.

382
00:18:05,696 --> 00:18:08,198
Damn it, Nolan!

383
00:18:08,265 --> 00:18:10,733
It's supposed to be a
surprise... damn it, Nolan!

384
00:18:12,669 --> 00:18:15,438
Kate, please, act like you don't know.

385
00:18:15,506 --> 00:18:17,273
There is no party, Nolan.

386
00:18:17,341 --> 00:18:19,342
Perfect. Thanks.

387
00:18:29,342 --> 00:18:31,943
Oh, hey. If this is a booty
call, I can't right now.

388
00:18:32,011 --> 00:18:35,447
- Sam will be home soon.
- How dare you!

389
00:18:35,514 --> 00:18:38,016
Fine, I'll send 'em to
the movies for a few hours.

390
00:18:38,084 --> 00:18:41,319
I can't believe you violated
my privacy like this!

391
00:18:41,387 --> 00:18:43,021
And what kind of a therapist

392
00:18:43,089 --> 00:18:45,290
would use their patient to spy on somebody?

393
00:18:45,358 --> 00:18:47,859
I don't know. An unconventional one.

394
00:18:47,926 --> 00:18:50,328
A maverick, if you will.

395
00:18:50,396 --> 00:18:53,298
My relationship with Bart
is none of your business.

396
00:18:53,366 --> 00:18:56,034
Nothing is. You don't share anything
with me. I tell you everything.

397
00:18:56,102 --> 00:18:58,703
My innermost thoughts, my feelings,
everything that's happened to me.

398
00:18:58,770 --> 00:19:01,806
Because I'm your therapist, you dumb-ass.

399
00:19:01,874 --> 00:19:04,309
I just don't understand why
you had to keep it a secret.

400
00:19:04,377 --> 00:19:06,878
I mean, okay. You dated the guy,
he had this terrible accident,

401
00:19:06,945 --> 00:19:09,680
and now you're doing this
sweet thing for him...

402
00:19:09,748 --> 00:19:11,483
wait a minute...

403
00:19:11,550 --> 00:19:13,284
I know why you didn't want me to know.

404
00:19:13,352 --> 00:19:16,388
- Why?
- Because it's sweet.

405
00:19:16,455 --> 00:19:18,523
You are sweet.

406
00:19:18,590 --> 00:19:21,859
- I am not.
- Yes, you are.

407
00:19:21,927 --> 00:19:24,729
You're a big, soft pile of sentimental
goo and you don't want me to know it.

408
00:19:24,796 --> 00:19:26,564
That is absolutely not true.

409
00:19:26,632 --> 00:19:29,234
Just because I do
something decent for a guy

410
00:19:29,301 --> 00:19:32,703
who happened to fall in love with
me and have his whole world cave in

411
00:19:32,771 --> 00:19:34,305
does not make me an emotional pile...

412
00:19:34,373 --> 00:19:36,341
what are you doing?

413
00:19:36,409 --> 00:19:37,975
Trying to comfort you.

414
00:19:39,412 --> 00:19:42,347
I have to go rip Nolan a new one.

415
00:19:42,415 --> 00:19:44,582
Must be hard since you're such a softie.

416
00:19:44,650 --> 00:19:45,917
Shut up!

417
00:19:45,984 --> 00:19:48,353
It is so cute when you
try to act tough now.

418
00:19:48,421 --> 00:19:49,987
Oh, I hate you! I am leaving!

419
00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:56,027
If you need a hug, I'm here.

420
00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:00,698
Now you're sweet and off-balance.

421
00:20:05,633 --> 00:20:08,935
Everywhere I look, there's
Relax The Back stores.

422
00:20:09,003 --> 00:20:10,603
Relax the front.

423
00:20:10,671 --> 00:20:13,106
Now, that's a business model.

424
00:20:13,174 --> 00:20:15,175
It's actually the oldest business model.

425
00:20:15,243 --> 00:20:16,676
Weren't you there for the grand opening?

426
00:20:18,979 --> 00:20:21,847
Lacey just pulled up. Everybody get ready.

427
00:20:21,915 --> 00:20:24,583
Now, I wanna surprise her,
so don't tell her I got a job.

428
00:20:27,521 --> 00:20:30,757
Okay, don't tell her I lost my job.

429
00:20:30,825 --> 00:20:34,328
- I'm out!
- Oh, there she is.

430
00:20:34,396 --> 00:20:37,131
Everything is so much different now.

431
00:20:37,199 --> 00:20:39,367
The clothes, the music...

432
00:20:39,434 --> 00:20:42,770
- No, it's just a really boring bar.
- Oh, thank God.

433
00:20:42,838 --> 00:20:44,839
I wanna let you know, the
whole time you were inside,

434
00:20:44,906 --> 00:20:46,974
- I was faithful.
- Oh.

435
00:20:47,042 --> 00:20:49,677
Yeah, well, I was...

436
00:20:49,745 --> 00:20:51,145
I missed you, too.

437
00:20:54,546 --> 00:21:05,941
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