1
00:00:24,618 --> 00:00:26,026
D'oh!
2
00:00:26,044 --> 00:00:27,438
(tires screeching)
3
00:00:27,454 --> 00:00:29,071
(grunts)
4
00:00:34,512 --> 00:00:35,845
(grunts)
5
00:00:39,521 --> 00:00:41,505
HOMER:
Oh, boy.
6
00:00:41,923 --> 00:00:42,869
(electronic clicking)
7
00:00:43,058 --> 00:00:45,941
Hmm, is that the radon detector?
8
00:00:46,178 --> 00:00:47,345
(electronic clicking)
9
00:00:47,373 --> 00:00:50,157
Mom's deleting old
TV shows off the DVR.
10
00:00:50,182 --> 00:00:51,600
What the...?!
11
00:00:51,859 --> 00:00:52,926
(gasps)
12
00:00:53,018 --> 00:00:53,969
Marge!
13
00:00:53,994 --> 00:00:57,169
You're deleting
the 2009 Oscar Red Carpet!
14
00:00:57,185 --> 00:00:59,808
There were some awesome dresses!
15
00:00:59,833 --> 00:01:03,024
And quite a few...
(singsong): disasters!
16
00:01:03,072 --> 00:01:04,915
Fine. What would
you get rid of?
17
00:01:04,933 --> 00:01:07,364
Well, I can't part with
a single one of my Hoarders,
18
00:01:07,392 --> 00:01:09,680
hands off my episodes
of Episodes,
19
00:01:09,719 --> 00:01:11,687
and if you delete Revenge...
20
00:01:11,726 --> 00:01:13,110
(groans angrily)
21
00:01:13,138 --> 00:01:16,716
Oh, fine. I'll just get rid of
these Itchy and Mitchys.
22
00:01:16,839 --> 00:01:19,085
For every one of my
cartoons that you erase,
23
00:01:19,116 --> 00:01:21,166
I rip up a family
vacation photo.
24
00:01:21,208 --> 00:01:23,160
And just so you know
I mean business,
25
00:01:23,185 --> 00:01:24,798
here's an ear!
26
00:01:24,922 --> 00:01:26,203
(gasps softly)
(sighs)
27
00:01:26,222 --> 00:01:27,247
All right.
28
00:01:27,266 --> 00:01:30,450
At least I can delete
these Westminster Dog Shows.
29
00:01:30,481 --> 00:01:31,294
(growls)
30
00:01:31,324 --> 00:01:35,230
Fine. I'm getting rid of this
American Masters "Kitty Carlisle."
31
00:01:35,248 --> 00:01:35,990
(yowls)
32
00:01:36,021 --> 00:01:37,588
It's not what you think!
33
00:01:38,268 --> 00:01:43,439
So I stayed up for the last
87 hours watching all my show
34
00:01:43,473 --> 00:01:44,244
(chuckles)
35
00:01:44,256 --> 00:01:47,107
Nothing's gonna delete these.
36
00:01:47,460 --> 00:01:48,827
(goofy chuckle)
37
00:01:51,039 --> 00:01:53,344
Guys, there's something
I want to tell you.
38
00:01:53,374 --> 00:01:54,450
Something important.
39
00:01:54,485 --> 00:01:56,786
So who do you like,
the Padres or the Tigers?
40
00:01:56,820 --> 00:01:58,501
I'm not talking about baseball.
41
00:01:58,513 --> 00:02:03,193
I'm asking if a priest can beat a big cat
in a death match in some kind of polygon.
42
00:02:03,214 --> 00:02:04,725
Hexa or octa?
43
00:02:04,748 --> 00:02:07,997
Only one way to decide:
arm wrestling.
44
00:02:08,788 --> 00:02:11,434
Eh, who am I kidding?
They don't care about me.
45
00:02:11,468 --> 00:02:12,635
(sighs)
46
00:02:15,155 --> 00:02:17,130
Suicide. Finally.
47
00:02:17,174 --> 00:02:18,258
I'm really doing it.
48
00:02:18,274 --> 00:02:21,205
No more cries for
(shouts): help!
49
00:02:21,344 --> 00:02:22,438
'Cause this time,
50
00:02:22,455 --> 00:02:25,154
there's no one that's gonna
(shouts): save me!
51
00:02:25,186 --> 00:02:27,692
I mean, it's not like
(shouts): I'm begging you, please,
52
00:02:27,722 --> 00:02:29,728
please show me some love!
53
00:02:29,770 --> 00:02:30,463
(sighs)
54
00:02:30,488 --> 00:02:32,162
Yeah, it's nothing like that.
55
00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:36,200
♪ The Simpsons 24x19 ♪
Whiskey Business
Original Air Date on May 5, 2013
56
00:02:36,237 --> 00:02:41,237
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
57
00:02:41,448 --> 00:02:43,359
Eh, maybe I should call.
58
00:02:43,385 --> 00:02:46,931
Give one of the new kids
a chance to talk to the legend.
59
00:02:46,952 --> 00:02:48,470
AUTOMATED FEMALE VOICE:
Hello, you have reached
60
00:02:48,489 --> 00:02:51,050
the Buzz Cola Suicide Hotline.
61
00:02:51,078 --> 00:02:54,506
Our options have changed,
so please listen carefully.
62
00:02:54,524 --> 00:02:57,339
State the reason
you are committing suicide.
63
00:02:57,356 --> 00:02:58,769
Nothing to live for.
64
00:02:58,788 --> 00:03:02,034
You said, "Business problems."
Is that correct?
65
00:03:02,064 --> 00:03:04,468
No! I got nothing and no one!
66
00:03:04,512 --> 00:03:07,604
You said, "Face sucked off
by vacuum cleaner."
67
00:03:07,636 --> 00:03:08,761
Is that correct?
68
00:03:08,784 --> 00:03:11,559
(sobbing):
No! No! Help me! Help!
69
00:03:11,575 --> 00:03:15,293
If your face is in the vacuum
cleaner bag, press "one."
70
00:03:15,317 --> 00:03:17,424
I just want to talk
to a human being!
71
00:03:17,451 --> 00:03:20,968
Please hold for our next
available life-extension agent.
72
00:03:20,986 --> 00:03:24,482
♪ Suicide is painless
73
00:03:24,505 --> 00:03:28,642
♪ It brings on many changes ♪
74
00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:30,166
♪ And I can...
75
00:03:30,207 --> 00:03:32,405
Oh, that tears it!
No more delays!
76
00:03:32,424 --> 00:03:33,707
(phone ringing)
77
00:03:33,795 --> 00:03:34,493
Hello?
78
00:03:34,524 --> 00:03:36,471
BART:
Hi, I'm looking for a Mr. Ron,
79
00:03:36,487 --> 00:03:37,787
first name Moe.
80
00:03:37,821 --> 00:03:39,364
Moe Ron?
81
00:03:39,388 --> 00:03:40,302
(sighs)
82
00:03:40,324 --> 00:03:43,555
Moron. It's you,
you little puke.
83
00:03:43,572 --> 00:03:46,424
I am gonna tie a rope
around your neck and hang...
84
00:03:46,450 --> 00:03:48,000
(choking)
85
00:03:48,087 --> 00:03:49,918
I'll show you who's a...
86
00:03:49,943 --> 00:03:51,400
moron.
87
00:03:51,464 --> 00:03:54,513
And that's why libraries
use newspaper rods.
88
00:03:54,544 --> 00:03:56,169
(thud)
89
00:03:57,117 --> 00:03:58,980
- (gasps) - Whoa!
- (gasps)
90
00:03:59,051 --> 00:04:01,195
I know CPR!
91
00:04:01,878 --> 00:04:05,164
I took a class where you do chest
compressions to a Bee Gees song.
92
00:04:05,196 --> 00:04:09,548
♪ How deep is your love?
How deep is your love? ♪
93
00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:11,636
Are you sure it wasn't
"Staying Alive?"
94
00:04:11,671 --> 00:04:12,804
Too on the nose.
95
00:04:12,829 --> 00:04:15,152
♪ I really need to learn
96
00:04:15,167 --> 00:04:18,821
♪ 'Cause we're living
in a world of fools ♪
97
00:04:18,854 --> 00:04:20,729
♪ Breaking us down
98
00:04:20,747 --> 00:04:24,317
♪ When they all should
let us be ♪
99
00:04:24,351 --> 00:04:27,489
♪ We belong to you and me
100
00:04:27,516 --> 00:04:29,818
♪ I believe in yous.
101
00:04:29,939 --> 00:04:32,673
You-you guys,
you saved me!
102
00:04:32,750 --> 00:04:34,238
You do care!
103
00:04:34,266 --> 00:04:36,579
Now, wait a minute.
Got to make sure you're okay.
104
00:04:36,591 --> 00:04:38,372
Who's the president now?
105
00:04:38,399 --> 00:04:40,885
- Some jerk.
- He's back!
106
00:04:44,653 --> 00:04:46,284
I really want to thank you all.
107
00:04:46,309 --> 00:04:48,154
You gave me a new lease on life,
108
00:04:48,182 --> 00:04:51,484
and I'm gonna take
this opportunity to...
109
00:04:58,282 --> 00:04:59,246
(coughs)
110
00:04:59,268 --> 00:05:00,435
(sighs)
111
00:05:00,460 --> 00:05:03,635
What's the point?
Same old stinking world.
112
00:05:03,686 --> 00:05:07,639
Ah, this post-suicide afterglow
gets shorter every time.
113
00:05:08,108 --> 00:05:10,152
- Homer Simpson!
- (shrieks)
114
00:05:10,197 --> 00:05:11,160
The woman I love!
115
00:05:11,190 --> 00:05:15,222
I sent you to the store to get
applesauce for Maggie two hours ago!
116
00:05:15,258 --> 00:05:18,686
Well, uh, I was
just leaving, but Moe...
117
00:05:18,699 --> 00:05:19,999
had an accident!
118
00:05:20,053 --> 00:05:21,595
What kind of accident?
119
00:05:21,615 --> 00:05:24,492
I, uh, may have
tried to end it all.
120
00:05:24,510 --> 00:05:26,465
I wasn't even good at that.
121
00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:27,238
(sighs)
122
00:05:27,263 --> 00:05:28,838
Excuse me, will you?
123
00:05:28,890 --> 00:05:30,057
(sobbing)
124
00:05:31,633 --> 00:05:32,921
That poor man.
125
00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:35,424
We've got to do something
to change his life.
126
00:05:35,446 --> 00:05:37,553
We could write on his face
when he passes out.
127
00:05:37,578 --> 00:05:38,191
(chuckles)
128
00:05:38,216 --> 00:05:39,729
Yeah, that's always
good for a laugh.
129
00:05:39,763 --> 00:05:42,194
No, no, it has to
be something big
130
00:05:42,213 --> 00:05:44,751
that'll change
his whole outlook.
131
00:05:44,766 --> 00:05:45,844
(snaps fingers)
132
00:05:45,868 --> 00:05:48,352
Why don't we take Moe
on a road trip?
133
00:05:48,394 --> 00:05:50,586
Aw, that, hey,
that's really sweet.
134
00:05:50,619 --> 00:05:52,157
Hey, can Noosey come, too?
135
00:05:52,173 --> 00:05:55,976
Moe, this trip is about
turning your life around.
136
00:05:55,997 --> 00:05:59,384
With the three desperate
barflies that you see every day.
137
00:05:59,459 --> 00:06:01,466
Maybe I should come, too.
138
00:06:01,484 --> 00:06:03,210
Four guys, a chick and a noose.
139
00:06:03,243 --> 00:06:05,310
Just like the movies
I like to watch.
140
00:06:06,512 --> 00:06:09,669
Grampa's in charge of you kids
while we go to Capital City.
141
00:06:09,694 --> 00:06:13,482
Ooh, you're a good
eater today, Maggie.
142
00:06:14,785 --> 00:06:17,185
Bart, you're in
charge of Grampa.
143
00:06:17,263 --> 00:06:20,638
(jazz music playing)
144
00:06:20,912 --> 00:06:25,030
♪ There's a swinging town
I know called ♪
145
00:06:25,495 --> 00:06:27,779
♪ Capital City
146
00:06:29,065 --> 00:06:31,366
Come on, Moe, stick your
head out the sunroof.
147
00:06:31,387 --> 00:06:34,429
You'll look like
the richest dog in the world!
148
00:06:38,863 --> 00:06:39,683
Eh.
149
00:06:39,718 --> 00:06:42,123
Lighten up, man.
The big city!
150
00:06:42,166 --> 00:06:44,468
Wow, look at all them
countdown clocks.
151
00:06:44,500 --> 00:06:47,835
Acres of rainforest left,
deaths by lung cancer.
152
00:06:47,858 --> 00:06:49,283
It's magical.
153
00:06:49,411 --> 00:06:52,467
All I see is two million people
happier than me.
154
00:06:52,496 --> 00:06:55,526
Moe, I know things
haven't been easy for you,
155
00:06:55,552 --> 00:06:57,565
but you're with
people who love you
156
00:06:57,584 --> 00:07:00,492
in the most exciting
of the twin cities.
157
00:07:00,531 --> 00:07:02,189
Capital City has a twin?
158
00:07:02,234 --> 00:07:06,297
Moved to California to be a star,
but it just turned into Glendale.
159
00:07:06,324 --> 00:07:07,781
So what do you say, Moe?
160
00:07:07,812 --> 00:07:09,627
Will you give me a smile?
161
00:07:09,659 --> 00:07:11,376
Well, I'll try.
162
00:07:11,398 --> 00:07:13,768
(grunting)
163
00:07:13,786 --> 00:07:17,118
Maybe if I just tilt
my head back here.
164
00:07:17,150 --> 00:07:18,498
That a boy!
165
00:07:18,523 --> 00:07:20,714
♪ And you'll feel better
166
00:07:33,472 --> 00:07:37,418
♪ You'll feel better,
you'll feel better ♪
167
00:07:37,586 --> 00:07:40,874
♪ Better than before
168
00:07:40,899 --> 00:07:44,788
♪ You'll feel better,
much better ♪
169
00:07:44,820 --> 00:07:47,240
♪ No, you won't
get down anymore... ♪
170
00:07:47,259 --> 00:07:50,231
Okay, Moe, one more surprise.
171
00:07:50,265 --> 00:07:51,582
Gentlemen's Whorehouse?
172
00:07:51,618 --> 00:07:53,001
Whoa, ho, ho!
173
00:07:53,017 --> 00:07:55,434
No, no, it's a Wearhouse.
174
00:07:55,453 --> 00:07:57,640
We're all gonna chip in
and get you a new suit.
175
00:07:57,669 --> 00:08:00,004
A new suit?!
Oh, ho, ho!
176
00:08:00,037 --> 00:08:02,534
I'll be the best-dressed
john in the whorehouse!
177
00:08:02,855 --> 00:08:05,333
But, listen, are you guys
sure you want to spring
178
00:08:05,352 --> 00:08:06,726
for something that expensive?
179
00:08:06,741 --> 00:08:09,179
Yes, 'cause every
time you wear it,
180
00:08:09,192 --> 00:08:11,233
you'll know how
much we love you.
181
00:08:11,250 --> 00:08:15,488
Like the one pair of blue pants
I bought Homer 20 years ago.
182
00:08:15,511 --> 00:08:17,024
They're like a wedding ring;
183
00:08:17,059 --> 00:08:19,362
I can't take them off anymore.
184
00:08:19,406 --> 00:08:20,744
(sighs)
185
00:08:20,761 --> 00:08:24,076
Oh, Moe, this suit
really brings out
186
00:08:24,088 --> 00:08:26,634
the herringbone in your eyes.
187
00:08:27,056 --> 00:08:28,200
Hmm.
188
00:08:28,229 --> 00:08:31,692
Nah, it's a 44 long.
I wear a 38 hunched.
189
00:08:31,723 --> 00:08:33,542
Got anything for a man my size?
190
00:08:33,570 --> 00:08:34,551
Absolutely not.
191
00:08:34,586 --> 00:08:36,598
Tent City is across the street.
192
00:08:36,632 --> 00:08:38,015
Tent, eh?
193
00:08:38,294 --> 00:08:40,295
(humming)
194
00:08:43,145 --> 00:08:43,846
Hmm.
195
00:08:43,876 --> 00:08:46,466
No husband of mine
is wearing a tent.
196
00:08:46,472 --> 00:08:48,914
No tents, no barrels,
no kiddie pools.
197
00:08:48,946 --> 00:08:51,248
Thank you, fashion police!
198
00:08:52,136 --> 00:08:54,424
Hey, not bad, not bad.
199
00:08:54,457 --> 00:08:56,591
And look over there, Moe.
200
00:08:56,638 --> 00:08:57,988
That's me?
201
00:08:58,020 --> 00:09:00,071
Hey, thank you, guys.
Thanks.
202
00:09:00,102 --> 00:09:02,418
It's a brand-new
day! (chuckles)
203
00:09:03,922 --> 00:09:06,247
Okay, final checklist.
204
00:09:06,265 --> 00:09:07,873
- Checklist ready?
- Check.
205
00:09:08,847 --> 00:09:11,538
- Mom and Dad still gone?
- Uh, check.
206
00:09:11,563 --> 00:09:14,638
What about that snoopy girl reporter
that's always hanging around?
207
00:09:14,678 --> 00:09:17,277
- You mean my sister?
- She's your sister?
208
00:09:17,293 --> 00:09:19,043
The plot thickens.
209
00:09:19,079 --> 00:09:21,380
Clueless little Lisa
doesn't suspect a thing.
210
00:09:21,416 --> 00:09:23,217
(upbeat jazz music playing)
211
00:09:23,307 --> 00:09:26,401
Whatever Bart's doing,
it's got to be pretty bad
212
00:09:26,414 --> 00:09:29,670
for him to get me tickets
to this amazing jam session.
213
00:09:34,268 --> 00:09:36,000
All the greats are here:
214
00:09:36,019 --> 00:09:38,434
Jellyroll Jones,
Boston Cream Basie,
215
00:09:38,461 --> 00:09:41,398
Birthmark Billy Jackson,
Grabass Walker,
216
00:09:41,425 --> 00:09:44,116
the Fatneck Sisters and...
(gasps)
217
00:09:44,485 --> 00:09:46,319
Bleeding Gums Murphy?
218
00:09:46,571 --> 00:09:50,011
♪ I got this bratty brother
219
00:09:50,718 --> 00:09:53,036
♪ He bugs me every day
220
00:09:53,189 --> 00:09:54,792
No, that impossible.
221
00:09:54,810 --> 00:09:55,732
He's dead.
222
00:09:55,744 --> 00:09:58,616
I lay a saxophone reed
at his grave every year.
223
00:09:58,638 --> 00:10:00,391
Lights and magic, Lisa.
224
00:10:00,397 --> 00:10:01,897
You don't need anything else.
225
00:10:01,936 --> 00:10:04,091
But I took a bunch
of stuff anyway.
226
00:10:06,529 --> 00:10:08,529
It's a hologram?
227
00:10:08,684 --> 00:10:11,570
Well, maybe if
it's in good taste.
228
00:10:15,433 --> 00:10:17,267
Aw, come on.
229
00:10:17,295 --> 00:10:18,695
Five seconds to slip-off.
230
00:10:18,732 --> 00:10:20,275
And four, three...
231
00:10:20,306 --> 00:10:22,423
Boy, what are you
doing up here?!
232
00:10:22,445 --> 00:10:24,815
Also, what am I doing up here?
233
00:10:24,858 --> 00:10:27,826
Bart, you said your grandfather
wouldn't bother us.
234
00:10:27,830 --> 00:10:31,018
I gave him a caramel. He should
have been chewing for hours.
235
00:10:31,052 --> 00:10:33,205
I couldn't unwrap it!
(yells)
236
00:10:33,247 --> 00:10:34,835
I got you, Grampa!
237
00:10:34,903 --> 00:10:37,488
Hold, bolo, hold!
238
00:10:37,509 --> 00:10:38,815
I don't want to die!
239
00:10:38,845 --> 00:10:41,118
I want to still be a burden!
240
00:10:42,275 --> 00:10:44,065
(yelling)
241
00:10:44,222 --> 00:10:45,085
(all gasp)
242
00:10:51,699 --> 00:10:52,861
Please be okay.
243
00:10:52,879 --> 00:10:57,769
♪ How deep is your love?
How deep is your love? ♪
244
00:10:58,052 --> 00:10:59,765
- Boy?
- Yes, Grampa?!
245
00:10:59,783 --> 00:11:02,164
Kiss my forehead.
246
00:11:02,367 --> 00:11:03,535
(groans)
247
00:11:05,492 --> 00:11:07,695
Man, I must real love him.
248
00:11:14,036 --> 00:11:16,410
I'm not gonna die today.
249
00:11:16,466 --> 00:11:18,373
Aw, that's so sweet.
250
00:11:18,391 --> 00:11:21,101
Let's get all our grandfathers
and chuck them down this thing.
251
00:11:21,135 --> 00:11:22,960
- All right!
- All right!
252
00:11:27,538 --> 00:11:28,947
Why am I in the basement?
253
00:11:28,973 --> 00:11:30,627
Shouldn't I see a medico?
254
00:11:30,641 --> 00:11:34,415
If the Wilsons' calf is birthed,
Doc Miller should be available.
255
00:11:34,439 --> 00:11:36,739
Thank God your mental powers
haven't deteriorated.
256
00:11:36,758 --> 00:11:38,692
Well, why the hell
am I down here?!
257
00:11:38,729 --> 00:11:41,001
I was supposed to be
in charge of you.
258
00:11:41,019 --> 00:11:42,946
I can't let Mom and
Dad know what I did.
259
00:11:42,965 --> 00:11:45,946
But I promise I'll take good care
of you until you're well again.
260
00:11:45,969 --> 00:11:47,700
No deal!
I'm getting out of here.
261
00:11:47,730 --> 00:11:48,475
(groans)
262
00:11:48,494 --> 00:11:50,053
Ooh, wow.
263
00:11:50,061 --> 00:11:52,151
My tailbone!
264
00:11:52,413 --> 00:11:54,594
And it was my last good bone.
265
00:11:54,633 --> 00:11:56,067
(groans)
266
00:11:56,345 --> 00:11:58,083
There, there, you'll be fine.
267
00:11:58,102 --> 00:11:59,738
I'll take care of
everything you need.
268
00:11:59,778 --> 00:12:01,512
I want a foot rub.
269
00:12:01,534 --> 00:12:03,335
Yes, but do you need one?
270
00:12:03,375 --> 00:12:05,894
Nobody needs one!
Now start rubbing!
271
00:12:05,907 --> 00:12:07,330
(groans)
272
00:12:07,355 --> 00:12:08,755
Rub harder!
273
00:12:10,507 --> 00:12:11,791
(humming)
274
00:12:14,773 --> 00:12:17,343
- (grunts) Sorry, pal.
- "Sorry, pal"?
275
00:12:17,369 --> 00:12:18,914
Hey, that's common courtesy.
276
00:12:18,932 --> 00:12:20,916
The kind I've only seen
in movies.
277
00:12:20,959 --> 00:12:22,960
This suit is amazing!
278
00:12:24,645 --> 00:12:28,961
Eh, this dump is too filthy for a
man with a positive worldview.
279
00:12:29,005 --> 00:12:31,294
I'm gonna start cleaning.
280
00:12:32,271 --> 00:12:33,824
Dirt. Carpet.
281
00:12:33,851 --> 00:12:35,454
Another layer of dirt.
282
00:12:35,485 --> 00:12:37,040
Congoleum. (gasps)
283
00:12:37,099 --> 00:12:38,202
Hardwood!
284
00:12:38,220 --> 00:12:41,559
The perfect floor for
doing a happy jig.
285
00:12:42,140 --> 00:12:44,124
(upbeat music playing)
286
00:12:50,778 --> 00:12:53,132
And now to light up the sign
and let the world know
287
00:12:53,150 --> 00:12:56,270
that the new, improved Moe's
is open for business.
288
00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:02,415
Hmm.
289
00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:04,179
Wow, non-losers?
290
00:13:04,208 --> 00:13:06,046
Huh, I never thought
I'd see the day.
291
00:13:06,061 --> 00:13:07,810
Gentlemen, what can I get you?
292
00:13:07,822 --> 00:13:10,628
We'll take anything you've got
aged 15 years or more.
293
00:13:11,225 --> 00:13:12,905
Hmm.
294
00:13:13,552 --> 00:13:14,936
Hmm.
295
00:13:15,448 --> 00:13:17,115
(squeaking)
296
00:13:17,431 --> 00:13:21,217
Well, actually, I do have this
bourbon that I brewed myself.
297
00:13:21,536 --> 00:13:25,094
It'll either be the best thing you ever
had or the last thing you'll ever have.
298
00:13:25,110 --> 00:13:26,360
- Mmm.
- Huh.
299
00:13:30,945 --> 00:13:33,546
Wow! Hey, are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
300
00:13:33,568 --> 00:13:35,393
Moe, we're venture capitalists.
301
00:13:35,418 --> 00:13:38,401
We turn dreams into money that mostly
goes to us, but you get a little.
302
00:13:38,435 --> 00:13:39,385
Tell me more!
303
00:13:39,420 --> 00:13:42,138
How many bottles of this
Kentucky Kool-Aid do you have?
304
00:13:42,172 --> 00:13:45,535
Just the one, but I could
whip up two or 300,000 more.
305
00:13:45,563 --> 00:13:47,983
Moe, you got a great
product, a fantastic suit,
306
00:13:48,002 --> 00:13:49,514
and we're gonna give you
everything you need.
307
00:13:49,542 --> 00:13:51,767
Startup money,
branding specialists.
308
00:13:51,785 --> 00:13:53,668
Corporate jets,
private drivers.
309
00:13:53,696 --> 00:13:55,930
If your feet touch the ground,
we've failed.
310
00:13:55,959 --> 00:13:57,915
This is all so sudden.
311
00:14:00,623 --> 00:14:02,109
Now it's not.
I'm in!
312
00:14:02,132 --> 00:14:04,110
Only one more thing
we need to do.
313
00:14:04,133 --> 00:14:06,136
Check this out with
our focus group.
314
00:14:15,858 --> 00:14:17,826
- So, what do we think?
- Be honest, now.
315
00:14:17,853 --> 00:14:19,098
I love it!
316
00:14:19,135 --> 00:14:22,593
I've made a lot of mistakes, but
liking this ain't one of them.
317
00:14:24,145 --> 00:14:25,598
(groans)
318
00:14:25,733 --> 00:14:28,653
Every time I call Grampa's
phone, I get no answer.
319
00:14:28,744 --> 00:14:31,921
Uh, he told me he was gonna
nap most of the week.
320
00:14:31,943 --> 00:14:33,628
Oh! Oh, good.
321
00:14:33,655 --> 00:14:35,949
Well, he needs his sleep.
322
00:14:39,242 --> 00:14:40,943
Time for your meds!
323
00:14:42,355 --> 00:14:44,356
- Come on, blue! Come on, pink!
- Come on, come on, come on!
324
00:14:44,381 --> 00:14:46,482
Take it, take it,
there you go, yes!
325
00:14:46,497 --> 00:14:50,386
After a pulse-pounding race,
hypertension pills win again.
326
00:14:50,419 --> 00:14:53,500
Call me crazy, but I can't
stop betting on dementia.
327
00:14:53,525 --> 00:14:54,145
(chuckles)
328
00:14:54,166 --> 00:14:56,854
Now, what say we turn
the hot water on and off
329
00:14:56,878 --> 00:14:59,071
while your father's
taking a shower?
330
00:14:59,629 --> 00:15:00,773
HOMER:
Ah! Oh!
331
00:15:00,789 --> 00:15:01,996
(gasping)
332
00:15:02,039 --> 00:15:04,738
Hot, oh! Cold, oh! (screams)
333
00:15:04,762 --> 00:15:06,419
Thank God I'm not
in the shower!
334
00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:08,875
(both laughing)
335
00:15:12,954 --> 00:15:14,042
Hmm.
336
00:15:14,075 --> 00:15:16,871
Grampa, we've been spending
so much time together,
337
00:15:16,896 --> 00:15:19,506
I almost feel like you're
part of the family.
338
00:15:19,541 --> 00:15:20,666
Aw.
339
00:15:20,707 --> 00:15:21,860
And I've been wondering.
340
00:15:21,879 --> 00:15:24,967
Not like I miss having my
afternoons free or anything, but...
341
00:15:25,098 --> 00:15:27,647
are you starting to feel better?
342
00:15:27,884 --> 00:15:29,035
Absolutely not!
343
00:15:29,059 --> 00:15:32,227
My crotch is crotchety,
sitting down makes me uppity,
344
00:15:32,255 --> 00:15:34,374
and you call
these cups pleated?!
345
00:15:34,404 --> 00:15:36,247
Okay, okay, just checking.
346
00:15:36,291 --> 00:15:37,278
(sighs)
347
00:15:37,316 --> 00:15:39,596
"Dear She-Done-Left-Me Records,
348
00:15:39,628 --> 00:15:43,926
"Once again, I write protesting
your holographic exploitation
349
00:15:43,957 --> 00:15:46,360
"of blues icon
Bleeding Gums Murphy.
350
00:15:46,386 --> 00:15:51,313
"I call for a boycott and girl-cott of
your entire catalogue until you..."
351
00:15:51,326 --> 00:15:52,519
(jazz music playing)
352
00:15:52,546 --> 00:15:53,960
Sonny Rollins?
353
00:15:53,985 --> 00:15:55,141
That's right, Lisa.
354
00:15:55,166 --> 00:15:59,205
And I'm here to beg you to
stop writing those letters.
355
00:15:59,217 --> 00:16:01,830
You're siding with
record companies?
356
00:16:01,849 --> 00:16:03,578
This isn't about money, Lisa.
357
00:16:03,607 --> 00:16:06,844
From Tupac Shakur to
Dwight Eisenhower,
358
00:16:06,874 --> 00:16:10,244
holograms have introduced some
of our leading dead people
359
00:16:10,274 --> 00:16:12,926
to a new audience of
people with money.
360
00:16:12,939 --> 00:16:15,129
Resetting, resetting.
361
00:16:15,161 --> 00:16:18,330
From Tupac Shakur to
Dwight Eisenhower...
362
00:16:18,369 --> 00:16:19,781
You're a hologram, aren't you?
363
00:16:19,804 --> 00:16:20,544
No.
364
00:16:20,550 --> 00:16:23,006
Resetting, resetting.
365
00:16:23,043 --> 00:16:24,785
(groans)
366
00:16:24,802 --> 00:16:26,652
Have you no shame?!
367
00:16:26,678 --> 00:16:28,141
Does this answer your question?
368
00:16:28,176 --> 00:16:29,083
(man beatboxing)
369
00:16:29,095 --> 00:16:31,672
(rapping): ♪ My name is Princess Di
and I'm here to say ♪
370
00:16:31,697 --> 00:16:34,427
♪ When I watch a DVD,
it's got to be Blu-ray. ♪
371
00:16:34,444 --> 00:16:35,500
Take it, Gandhi!
372
00:16:35,514 --> 00:16:37,392
First Bank of Springfield--
373
00:16:37,404 --> 00:16:41,333
say "Mumbai" to
high checking fees!
374
00:16:41,464 --> 00:16:42,948
(hisses)
375
00:16:46,228 --> 00:16:47,298
MOE:
Hey, thanks, guys.
376
00:16:47,329 --> 00:16:50,729
I ain't never been to no
fancy rooftop party before.
377
00:16:50,782 --> 00:16:53,951
No beer? That's a
pretty big screwup.
378
00:16:54,102 --> 00:16:56,940
- Moe, we got a special surprise.
- You like chicks with nose clips?
379
00:16:56,970 --> 00:16:58,071
Then you're really
gonna be happy.
380
00:16:58,093 --> 00:17:00,094
Bring it, girls.
381
00:17:03,561 --> 00:17:06,017
Hey, that is the most accurate
picture of my face
382
00:17:06,029 --> 00:17:07,955
made of girl-parts
that I have ever seen.
383
00:17:07,974 --> 00:17:10,411
And it's not decadent 'cause you
can ask interns to do anything.
384
00:17:10,446 --> 00:17:12,398
Thanks. Thank you so much,
Ken and Glen.
385
00:17:12,404 --> 00:17:15,223
- Ah, you're welcome. - Anything to
celebrate your I.P.O. tomorrow.
386
00:17:15,248 --> 00:17:16,592
You know what that is, right?
387
00:17:16,622 --> 00:17:17,792
Um...
388
00:17:17,804 --> 00:17:19,885
Moe, we love your whiskey,
we love your backstory,
389
00:17:19,909 --> 00:17:23,171
and we love that suit that hangs
off you like silk on a skeleton.
390
00:17:23,194 --> 00:17:26,634
So, starting tomorrow, we're gonna sell
shares in your company to the public.
391
00:17:26,659 --> 00:17:28,857
All you do is show up
at the stock exchange,
392
00:17:28,875 --> 00:17:31,723
ring the bell, and
you'll leave a rich man.
393
00:17:31,816 --> 00:17:32,704
(elevator bell dings)
394
00:17:32,729 --> 00:17:33,724
We'll see you tomorrow.
395
00:17:33,744 --> 00:17:36,207
Enjoy your last night
as a Democrat.
396
00:17:37,562 --> 00:17:39,915
Dang it, my suit's
stuck in the door.
397
00:17:41,115 --> 00:17:42,666
No, no, no!
398
00:17:42,692 --> 00:17:44,682
This building's got 98 floors!
399
00:17:44,695 --> 00:17:46,850
And I'm going down to P-6!
400
00:17:46,951 --> 00:17:48,485
P-6!
401
00:17:52,083 --> 00:17:55,713
(knocking)
402
00:17:58,873 --> 00:17:59,760
Moe?
403
00:17:59,778 --> 00:18:01,010
What are you doing?
404
00:18:01,030 --> 00:18:03,565
Midge, uh, the suit
got a little mussed up.
405
00:18:03,581 --> 00:18:06,382
I-I got to ask you,
is it noticeable?
406
00:18:06,405 --> 00:18:08,474
Thank God the kids aren't here.
407
00:18:08,515 --> 00:18:09,817
LISA:
I was.
408
00:18:11,563 --> 00:18:13,743
Aw, without my magic suit,
I'm nothing.
409
00:18:13,755 --> 00:18:15,752
The suit wasn't magic, Moe.
410
00:18:15,780 --> 00:18:18,668
Don't you know the story
of Dumbo the elephant?
411
00:18:18,686 --> 00:18:20,605
I didn't go to movies as a kid.
412
00:18:20,624 --> 00:18:22,877
Spent all my time
at the pierogi factory.
413
00:18:22,912 --> 00:18:25,493
Dab the potato, fold the dough.
414
00:18:25,598 --> 00:18:27,111
That was my Star Wars.
415
00:18:27,135 --> 00:18:29,920
Well, Dumbo had
a magic feather.
416
00:18:29,965 --> 00:18:32,067
He thought he needed it to fly,
417
00:18:32,091 --> 00:18:36,111
but it turned out the magic
was in him the whole time.
418
00:18:36,138 --> 00:18:38,555
So you're saying Moe is Dumbo,
419
00:18:38,573 --> 00:18:43,126
his bourbon is the giant ears, and
we're that flock of racist crows?
420
00:18:43,147 --> 00:18:46,748
The crows weren't racist, the
people who drew them were.
421
00:18:46,782 --> 00:18:48,007
Okay, I get it, I get it.
422
00:18:48,019 --> 00:18:50,948
It wasn't the suit that made
the bourbon, it was me.
423
00:18:50,966 --> 00:18:52,411
And I can do anything.
424
00:18:52,428 --> 00:18:54,753
- Don't stand up!
- Except stand up.
425
00:18:54,923 --> 00:18:55,742
BART:
Grampa,
426
00:18:55,781 --> 00:18:57,312
I made your favorite dinner:
427
00:18:57,359 --> 00:18:59,948
teething biscuits
soaked in buttermilk.
428
00:19:01,796 --> 00:19:04,697
(singing
"The Blue Danube" waltz)
429
00:19:05,378 --> 00:19:08,082
Oh! Oh! The pain!
430
00:19:08,128 --> 00:19:10,222
(grunting)
431
00:19:10,268 --> 00:19:11,906
You're completely fine!
432
00:19:11,931 --> 00:19:15,356
I've been taking care of you, giving
you love and attention for nothing!
433
00:19:15,394 --> 00:19:17,531
All right, boy, I admit it.
434
00:19:17,559 --> 00:19:20,786
I've been faking being
hurt, just like I fake
435
00:19:20,810 --> 00:19:24,413
liking those terrible homemade
Christmas gifts you give.
436
00:19:24,441 --> 00:19:26,691
But Mom said it was
a gift made with love.
437
00:19:26,733 --> 00:19:27,967
Did she?
438
00:19:27,994 --> 00:19:28,885
No.
439
00:19:28,903 --> 00:19:30,383
Even she thought it was crap.
440
00:19:30,399 --> 00:19:32,766
But what you did
wasn't for nothing.
441
00:19:32,813 --> 00:19:35,139
It was the best two weeks
442
00:19:35,157 --> 00:19:37,883
of this final horrible
part of my life.
443
00:19:37,906 --> 00:19:41,408
Well, you are the first thing
I took care of that didn't die.
444
00:19:41,436 --> 00:19:44,405
(chuckles):
Oh, I hear that a lot.
445
00:19:46,016 --> 00:19:47,242
Hey-ya, guys.
446
00:19:47,260 --> 00:19:49,552
Security, there's
a homeless monster up here!
447
00:19:49,574 --> 00:19:51,661
Hey-hey-hey, I'm
your partner, Moe.
448
00:19:52,655 --> 00:19:55,011
N-Now, let's go make
us a fortune, huh?
449
00:19:55,030 --> 00:19:55,997
(bell tolling)
450
00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:56,880
(all gasp)
451
00:19:56,923 --> 00:20:01,280
Look! It's Quasimodo
without the pathos!
452
00:20:01,310 --> 00:20:03,681
People, please, please.
My name is Moe Szyslak
453
00:20:03,716 --> 00:20:07,239
of Makers Moe Bourbon,
ticker symbol: M-O-E.
454
00:20:07,274 --> 00:20:10,535
I'm the CEO, and I promise
that I will hand-brew
455
00:20:10,547 --> 00:20:13,650
every bottle with these
very hands, huh?
456
00:20:13,681 --> 00:20:16,250
I-I'll supervise production,
I'll manage marketing.
457
00:20:16,286 --> 00:20:18,797
My face is gonna be
on every bottle!
458
00:20:18,810 --> 00:20:22,428
And we will only use the finest
ingredients made in America.
459
00:20:22,460 --> 00:20:24,302
(booing, clamoring)
460
00:20:26,814 --> 00:20:28,671
Glad you're back, Moe.
461
00:20:28,715 --> 00:20:31,406
At least I don't have to
train the new bartender
462
00:20:31,428 --> 00:20:34,614
to make what I like--
beer to the top.
463
00:20:34,629 --> 00:20:37,264
(humming)
464
00:20:37,491 --> 00:20:39,059
(sighs)
465
00:20:56,369 --> 00:20:58,007
Not today, old friend.
466
00:20:58,038 --> 00:21:01,694
But don't worry, holidays are
just around the corner.
467
00:21:02,654 --> 00:21:07,654
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
468
00:21:49,095 --> 00:21:50,399
Shh!