1 00:00:01,978 --> 00:00:03,628 Previously on Dirt... 2 00:00:09,106 --> 00:00:10,151 Hi, Lucy. 3 00:00:12,735 --> 00:00:14,184 Julia, what are you doing here? 4 00:00:15,166 --> 00:00:16,603 You ruined my life. 5 00:00:20,899 --> 00:00:23,447 I was thinking about that article you wrote. 6 00:00:23,733 --> 00:00:25,506 It was actually pretty good. 7 00:00:28,053 --> 00:00:29,699 But I have some cuts. 8 00:00:50,738 --> 00:00:52,793 You reap what you sow, Lucy. 9 00:01:38,961 --> 00:01:41,980 Guess that whole reaping what you sow thing works both ways. 10 00:01:43,182 --> 00:01:45,275 Hey, it's me again. Don Konkey, 11 00:01:45,435 --> 00:01:47,173 DirtNow's resident schizophrenic. 12 00:01:47,293 --> 00:01:48,862 Dad, I think it's time. 13 00:01:49,105 --> 00:01:50,321 And photographer. 14 00:01:50,481 --> 00:01:51,865 I take photos of celebrities 15 00:01:52,108 --> 00:01:54,661 and sell 'em to my best friend and boss Lucy Spiller, 16 00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:56,911 the editor of DirtNow magazine. 17 00:01:57,071 --> 00:01:59,706 So much to catch you up on, so try and keep up. 18 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:03,585 It all started when Holt McLaren sold info to Lucy about Kira being pregnant. 19 00:02:04,103 --> 00:02:06,880 After Lucy broke the story, Kira od'd and died. 20 00:02:07,769 --> 00:02:09,299 After hearing about Kira's death, 21 00:02:09,459 --> 00:02:11,384 Holt freaked out and flipped his car 22 00:02:11,544 --> 00:02:13,697 with his girlfriend, big star Julia Mallory, 23 00:02:13,817 --> 00:02:16,284 And that's when things got really complicated. 24 00:02:16,404 --> 00:02:18,349 Lucy and Holt kind of had sex. 25 00:02:19,430 --> 00:02:20,130 A lot. 26 00:02:20,250 --> 00:02:22,729 Julia started to slide into the world of drugs and sex. 27 00:02:23,007 --> 00:02:25,231 Jesus Christ, Julia, what the hell are you doing? 28 00:02:25,391 --> 00:02:28,401 And then leaked her own sex tape, then claimed she was raped. 29 00:02:28,561 --> 00:02:29,926 She'd have gotten away with it 30 00:02:30,046 --> 00:02:31,821 if Lucy hadn't found out and published the truth. 31 00:02:31,981 --> 00:02:33,491 This is a great cover. 32 00:02:35,445 --> 00:02:37,118 I'm really worried about her. 33 00:02:37,278 --> 00:02:38,828 She's been in a coma now for two weeks. 34 00:02:39,419 --> 00:02:40,887 I'm all she has left. 35 00:02:41,007 --> 00:02:42,190 Oh, my God. 36 00:02:43,243 --> 00:02:44,464 Oh, my God. 37 00:02:48,666 --> 00:02:51,308 Anyway, I'm just really hoping Lucy wakes up 38 00:02:51,615 --> 00:02:53,576 and things get back to normal. 39 00:03:40,507 --> 00:03:42,052 You're all right, Lucy. 40 00:03:42,378 --> 00:03:43,911 Yeah, you're all right. 41 00:03:46,222 --> 00:03:47,196 You're okay. 42 00:03:47,316 --> 00:03:50,149 You got hurt, but now you're okay 43 00:03:50,309 --> 00:03:51,607 cause you're safe. 44 00:03:55,860 --> 00:03:57,598 All right, miss Spiller. 45 00:03:58,568 --> 00:03:59,924 You're all right. 46 00:04:01,255 --> 00:04:02,948 Just try to say something. 47 00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:08,501 I think she's asking for her mother. 48 00:04:08,621 --> 00:04:10,211 No, no, no, no. listen. 49 00:04:12,832 --> 00:04:14,173 The cover. 50 00:04:16,849 --> 00:04:17,870 Cover. 51 00:04:21,549 --> 00:04:23,349 Transcript: yyets.net 52 00:04:24,177 --> 00:04:26,019 Synchro: _/Yellow Sub\_ 53 00:04:26,020 --> 00:04:27,437 Synchro: ::ITASA:: 54 00:04:30,933 --> 00:04:33,401 Season 2 Episode 1 Welcome To Normal 55 00:04:35,995 --> 00:04:39,060 This is great. This should be a sidebar. 56 00:04:39,879 --> 00:04:42,952 Okay, lose the drop cap on this one. We're not The New Yorker. 57 00:04:43,464 --> 00:04:45,663 I've asked for the sales numbers twice. What's up? 58 00:04:45,823 --> 00:04:47,248 Terry's bringing them over. 59 00:04:47,408 --> 00:04:48,666 Bringing them over? call her. 60 00:04:48,826 --> 00:04:51,127 - She needs her rest. - No, no, Don. 61 00:04:51,433 --> 00:04:52,133 Go. 62 00:04:54,290 --> 00:04:55,332 Don, I'm fine. 63 00:04:55,452 --> 00:04:57,875 That's because you've been getting a rest. 64 00:05:02,882 --> 00:05:04,530 How's the injection going? 65 00:05:05,529 --> 00:05:07,602 They mix the drugs with sesame oil 66 00:05:08,073 --> 00:05:11,279 to cause it to time release. Just regular sesame oil. 67 00:05:11,683 --> 00:05:12,732 Like a stir fry. 68 00:05:15,616 --> 00:05:16,920 Don't... don't... 69 00:05:22,930 --> 00:05:25,125 I can't believe I'm looking at you. 70 00:05:27,499 --> 00:05:29,812 Now I know you were here the whole time. 71 00:05:30,792 --> 00:05:32,460 I could feel you. 72 00:05:35,210 --> 00:05:36,965 It's night, Don. You got to go home. 73 00:05:37,125 --> 00:05:39,258 You do. You got to sleep in your own bed. 74 00:05:39,418 --> 00:05:43,088 I don't care how many pizza boxes or newspapers are piled on it. 75 00:05:44,126 --> 00:05:45,851 You got to go home. 76 00:05:45,971 --> 00:05:47,887 Come on, have some tea. 77 00:05:48,007 --> 00:05:49,264 Thank you. 78 00:05:50,889 --> 00:05:52,070 That hurts. 79 00:05:54,309 --> 00:05:55,725 How you doing, buddy? 80 00:05:55,845 --> 00:05:57,568 You're getting bigger all the time. 81 00:06:06,821 --> 00:06:07,745 Holt McLaren. 82 00:06:07,905 --> 00:06:08,997 Don Konkey. 83 00:06:09,259 --> 00:06:13,259 David fincher described you as an actor possessed and deeply instinctual. 84 00:06:14,048 --> 00:06:16,638 The movie tracked well with men 18-34, 85 00:06:16,831 --> 00:06:18,261 even better with women. 86 00:06:18,381 --> 00:06:19,644 That's good to know. 87 00:06:19,917 --> 00:06:21,380 While your reviews were excellent, 88 00:06:21,500 --> 00:06:23,720 the movie probably won't receive a nomination 89 00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:26,161 Because it's considered a genre film. 90 00:06:26,632 --> 00:06:28,358 Listen, man, can I come in? 91 00:06:29,336 --> 00:06:30,643 Who told you were I live? 92 00:06:30,971 --> 00:06:32,521 A woman, 18 to 34. 93 00:06:33,934 --> 00:06:35,261 - Right. - Yeah. 94 00:06:39,692 --> 00:06:41,230 I don't have any beer. 95 00:06:41,602 --> 00:06:44,073 You drink Bud, Corona, Rolling Rock. 96 00:06:44,341 --> 00:06:45,867 I do have some cheese, however. 97 00:06:46,027 --> 00:06:48,261 - What's that smell? - My cat. 98 00:06:51,890 --> 00:06:54,572 Did you tell her I tried to visit her? 99 00:06:56,554 --> 00:06:57,628 No. I, uh... 100 00:06:58,664 --> 00:06:59,964 She needs to rest. 101 00:07:01,271 --> 00:07:02,657 I miss her. 102 00:07:03,475 --> 00:07:04,835 You're the only who knows, 103 00:07:04,955 --> 00:07:07,180 so if you could just tell her I miss her? 104 00:07:08,353 --> 00:07:09,679 - Please? - Okay. 105 00:07:10,737 --> 00:07:11,956 How's she doing? 106 00:07:12,076 --> 00:07:14,228 She thinks she's better than she is. 107 00:07:14,898 --> 00:07:16,371 Yeah? Is she coming home soon? 108 00:07:16,491 --> 00:07:18,778 No, two weeks. There's no infection. 109 00:07:18,898 --> 00:07:20,935 Infection's a killer with this type of wound. 110 00:07:21,055 --> 00:07:22,320 She can't get an infection. 111 00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:24,191 She's pretty alert, though? 112 00:07:24,540 --> 00:07:26,513 She's Lucy. she's very alert. 113 00:07:29,635 --> 00:07:30,635 All right. 114 00:07:33,867 --> 00:07:34,900 Spiller? 115 00:07:35,910 --> 00:07:37,376 Animal therapy. Hug a pet. 116 00:07:38,388 --> 00:07:39,715 Is that a bearded collie? 117 00:07:39,835 --> 00:07:41,506 It sure is. Would you like to say hello? 118 00:07:41,666 --> 00:07:43,072 Yeah. Hi. 119 00:07:43,918 --> 00:07:45,384 - What's his name? - It's Bugsy. 120 00:07:45,544 --> 00:07:46,969 Hi, Bugsy. Hi, baby. 121 00:07:47,129 --> 00:07:49,514 So how'd you know? Nobody ever guesses the breed. 122 00:07:49,674 --> 00:07:51,933 Because I used to have one when I was in high school. 123 00:07:52,093 --> 00:07:55,042 - Best dog I ever had. - Spiller. Are you Lucy Spiller? 124 00:07:55,162 --> 00:07:55,895 I am. 125 00:07:56,226 --> 00:07:57,226 Oh, my god. 126 00:07:58,073 --> 00:08:00,171 What a... just a terrible story. 127 00:08:00,291 --> 00:08:02,938 - You should see the other guy. - Man, she just... 128 00:08:03,058 --> 00:08:04,368 went crazy, huh? 129 00:08:06,159 --> 00:08:07,156 I guess so. 130 00:08:07,316 --> 00:08:09,867 Is it just because you wrote that article about her? 131 00:08:10,783 --> 00:08:12,161 The dog looks pretty thirsty. 132 00:08:12,321 --> 00:08:13,667 No, she's fine. 133 00:08:16,287 --> 00:08:17,606 That's pretty good. 134 00:08:17,726 --> 00:08:20,347 You're the only reporter who's made it into the room. 135 00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:21,629 - No. - Miles, 136 00:08:21,789 --> 00:08:23,518 let's give the police department a call. 137 00:08:23,638 --> 00:08:26,134 - Or I could deal with him. - No. look, you're right. 138 00:08:26,294 --> 00:08:27,839 But I'm not a tabloid reporter. 139 00:08:27,959 --> 00:08:30,170 I work for the L.A. Weekly. My name is Farber Kaufman. 140 00:08:30,290 --> 00:08:31,567 I'm a freelancer, okay? 141 00:08:31,687 --> 00:08:34,732 I just graduated from Columbia journalism four months ago. 142 00:08:34,852 --> 00:08:35,852 Please. 143 00:08:36,595 --> 00:08:38,452 Why would the pretentious snobs who read the weekly care 144 00:08:38,572 --> 00:08:39,856 what goes on in a tabloid? 145 00:08:40,016 --> 00:08:42,670 I pitched it as this kind of cultural endgame story. 146 00:08:42,790 --> 00:08:44,669 Tabloid culture killed Julia Mallory, 147 00:08:44,789 --> 00:08:47,106 But not before she tried to kill the tabloid queen. 148 00:08:47,226 --> 00:08:50,238 - You know, that sort of thing. - First of all, yawn. 149 00:08:50,358 --> 00:08:54,358 And the murder attempt, it seemed personal, almost sexual. 150 00:08:54,530 --> 00:08:56,714 Why did she go to your house, get inside, 151 00:08:57,148 --> 00:08:58,978 and stab you repeatedly? 152 00:08:59,098 --> 00:09:01,043 I mean, that's the kind of violent action 153 00:09:01,163 --> 00:09:03,254 that one takes against their intimate. 154 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:06,297 That's interesting if that were true. 155 00:09:06,854 --> 00:09:10,018 But crazy people imagine they know you better than they do. 156 00:09:10,459 --> 00:09:11,262 Kaufman. 157 00:09:11,422 --> 00:09:14,473 You're the one who wrote the piece on the Russian mafia last month. 158 00:09:15,748 --> 00:09:17,051 That was good. 159 00:09:17,897 --> 00:09:21,502 What do you say I triple whatever you're making and put you on staff? 160 00:09:21,622 --> 00:09:24,942 You want me to dig through Lindsay Lohan's garbage for a living? 161 00:09:25,102 --> 00:09:26,525 Come on, give it a shot. 162 00:09:26,645 --> 00:09:28,565 If you don't like it, walk away. 163 00:09:28,905 --> 00:09:31,347 Or Miles can give you a lift to booking. 164 00:09:42,409 --> 00:09:43,916 You're getting so big, buddy, 165 00:09:44,036 --> 00:09:47,124 There's hardly room for both of us in the bed anymore. 166 00:09:48,224 --> 00:09:49,922 Huh? Is there? 167 00:10:18,113 --> 00:10:20,332 You know what normal means, Don? 168 00:10:21,602 --> 00:10:23,974 It means your cat doesn't talk to you. 169 00:10:25,859 --> 00:10:27,380 I guess you're right, but... 170 00:10:28,599 --> 00:10:29,839 Good-bye, Don. 171 00:10:41,036 --> 00:10:42,334 Good-bye, buddy. 172 00:11:00,656 --> 00:11:02,832 - You just get bigger. - I feel like shit. 173 00:11:02,992 --> 00:11:04,375 Did you give barrow the changes? 174 00:11:05,100 --> 00:11:07,285 - Could I have your pudding? - No, honey, I love the pudding. 175 00:11:07,405 --> 00:11:08,815 You can have the applesauce. 176 00:11:08,935 --> 00:11:10,256 Let me see the sales numbers. 177 00:11:10,416 --> 00:11:12,606 I told Barrow he should bring these over himself. 178 00:11:12,726 --> 00:11:14,385 No one wanted to tell you. 179 00:11:16,563 --> 00:11:17,791 What's Icon? 180 00:11:17,911 --> 00:11:19,044 We probably should've lied. 181 00:11:19,164 --> 00:11:21,309 - What is Icon magazine? - You need to rest, Lucy. 182 00:11:21,469 --> 00:11:23,728 No, what the hell is Icon magazine? 183 00:11:26,307 --> 00:11:27,481 Is that the cover? 184 00:11:27,641 --> 00:11:29,150 I don't think Barrow really incorporated... 185 00:11:29,310 --> 00:11:30,943 Please, give it to me. 186 00:11:33,759 --> 00:11:35,281 - Give it to me. - No! 187 00:11:35,441 --> 00:11:37,116 Lucy, you shouldn't. She shouldn't. 188 00:11:37,276 --> 00:11:39,368 You shouldn't be doing this, trying to run a magazine 189 00:11:39,528 --> 00:11:41,579 out of a hospital bedroom, you know? 190 00:11:41,934 --> 00:11:43,164 You almost died! 191 00:11:43,324 --> 00:11:45,791 And they said that I should be prepared for the worst. 192 00:11:45,951 --> 00:11:47,918 You know, she could die, your friend could die. 193 00:11:48,348 --> 00:11:51,569 Or slip into a permanent persistent vegetative state, 194 00:11:51,689 --> 00:11:53,962 and then eventually you would have to pull the plug 195 00:11:54,082 --> 00:11:56,427 because there's no point in going on when people... 196 00:11:56,767 --> 00:11:57,467 Don. 197 00:12:02,288 --> 00:12:04,350 Here. Let me have it. 198 00:12:05,191 --> 00:12:06,671 It's okay. 199 00:12:07,824 --> 00:12:09,339 It's okay. 200 00:12:10,140 --> 00:12:11,776 - I'm okay. - I'm sorry. 201 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:13,611 I'm sorry. 202 00:12:18,748 --> 00:12:20,894 - You can have my pudding. - Thanks. 203 00:12:23,602 --> 00:12:24,682 Thank you. 204 00:12:34,076 --> 00:12:37,150 You're kidding, right. You've got to be kidding me. 205 00:12:37,270 --> 00:12:38,511 Oh, Christ! 206 00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:40,798 My frickin'water broke. 207 00:12:42,259 --> 00:12:43,140 Great. 208 00:12:43,676 --> 00:12:45,142 Wipe it up with that. 209 00:12:45,878 --> 00:12:47,883 I just don't know what they were thinking. 210 00:12:48,003 --> 00:12:49,501 Miss Spiller? Miss Spiller? 211 00:12:49,621 --> 00:12:51,527 First of all, you should be in a wheelchair. 212 00:12:51,647 --> 00:12:54,139 You should be in this hospital for at least another week. 213 00:12:54,259 --> 00:12:55,908 This is not just hospital rules. 214 00:12:56,028 --> 00:12:57,655 If you walk out, you risk infection... 215 00:12:57,815 --> 00:13:01,158 If I can survive whatever's lurking in Don's car, I can survive anything. 216 00:13:11,998 --> 00:13:14,368 Hello, everyone. Vacation's over. 217 00:13:26,348 --> 00:13:27,351 Hey, Brent. 218 00:13:29,650 --> 00:13:31,063 - You're... - Alive. 219 00:13:31,223 --> 00:13:32,907 Well, yeah. 220 00:13:33,918 --> 00:13:36,159 I thought you were out for another couple of weeks. 221 00:13:36,279 --> 00:13:38,077 - Are you back for good? - Looks like it. 222 00:13:38,197 --> 00:13:39,329 Oh, thank God. 223 00:13:41,293 --> 00:13:44,276 I humbly relinquish my throne. 224 00:13:44,863 --> 00:13:46,817 I would like to say, everybody, 225 00:13:47,715 --> 00:13:50,916 This has been the most humbling experience of my life. 226 00:13:51,468 --> 00:13:52,668 - Me, too. - Really? 227 00:13:52,828 --> 00:13:54,462 More than that whole underage sex thing? 228 00:13:54,622 --> 00:13:55,713 - Well... - Yeah. 229 00:13:56,332 --> 00:13:58,167 We'll save the tears and the group hugs 230 00:13:58,287 --> 00:14:00,342 for later. Now, we have a magazine to rescue. 231 00:14:00,503 --> 00:14:03,182 And this is Farber Kaufman, he's a staff reporter 232 00:14:03,302 --> 00:14:05,556 Who will be gunning for all of your jobs. 233 00:14:06,307 --> 00:14:07,559 I mean, really? 234 00:14:08,401 --> 00:14:10,413 That's what you came up with? After my notes. 235 00:14:10,533 --> 00:14:13,121 And after the last two Julia Mallory covers tanked? 236 00:14:13,241 --> 00:14:14,969 Well, they didn't tank. 237 00:14:15,089 --> 00:14:16,761 - They got beat. - Yeah, here. 238 00:14:16,881 --> 00:14:18,198 Let me see it. 239 00:14:18,678 --> 00:14:21,927 Well, they've just ripped off our design And did a better cover. 240 00:14:22,047 --> 00:14:23,473 Look at it. It's great. 241 00:14:23,593 --> 00:14:26,668 They found a publicity shot of julia mallory holding a knife. 242 00:14:26,788 --> 00:14:28,662 Where the hell was my photo department? 243 00:14:30,420 --> 00:14:31,665 This is pathetic. 244 00:14:31,826 --> 00:14:33,709 This story just dropped in our laps... 245 00:14:33,870 --> 00:14:34,960 in my gut... 246 00:14:35,121 --> 00:14:36,692 and this is the best... 247 00:14:37,433 --> 00:14:38,870 the best you can do? 248 00:14:42,132 --> 00:14:43,676 Okay, we need to move on. 249 00:14:43,837 --> 00:14:45,012 Is that clear? 250 00:14:45,172 --> 00:14:48,312 We need to find a new story where we define the curve. 251 00:14:48,801 --> 00:14:50,476 Hello. Is this thing on? 252 00:14:51,804 --> 00:14:52,603 Willa? 253 00:14:53,617 --> 00:14:55,235 Oh, God. Um, well, 254 00:14:55,517 --> 00:14:58,420 we could do a Julia Mallory cover with... 255 00:14:59,290 --> 00:15:00,125 with... 256 00:15:01,393 --> 00:15:02,479 a reenactment. 257 00:15:02,599 --> 00:15:04,615 You know, we could do it with photos. 258 00:15:05,484 --> 00:15:07,493 It's so much worse than I thought. 259 00:15:07,654 --> 00:15:10,604 Lucy, should I just be following you... 260 00:15:10,724 --> 00:15:12,784 That one's yours. Excuse me. that is my desk. 261 00:15:12,904 --> 00:15:13,771 I know. 262 00:15:17,027 --> 00:15:18,511 Oh. Well. 263 00:15:18,631 --> 00:15:20,005 This is bullshit, 264 00:15:20,166 --> 00:15:24,093 bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. 265 00:15:24,787 --> 00:15:26,551 Has Martina Linn had her baby yet? 266 00:15:26,671 --> 00:15:28,452 No, still in the hospital on bed rest. 267 00:15:28,572 --> 00:15:31,605 Why is she on bed rest? To try to keep her away from the mai tais? 268 00:15:32,198 --> 00:15:34,562 It's true. God does write the best soap operas. 269 00:15:34,722 --> 00:15:36,037 Farber, you know this story? 270 00:15:36,157 --> 00:15:37,823 - Yeah. A little. - Catch him up. 271 00:15:37,943 --> 00:15:39,349 All righty, then. 272 00:15:39,469 --> 00:15:40,672 Chapter 1: 273 00:15:41,145 --> 00:15:44,238 Cheap gold digger Martina Linn, stripper slash model, 274 00:15:44,399 --> 00:15:46,932 Marries 68-year-old Ukrainian oil tycoon. 275 00:15:47,052 --> 00:15:48,709 He gets poisoned by the russian mob... 276 00:15:48,829 --> 00:15:50,787 The prince dies, the princess cries, 277 00:15:50,907 --> 00:15:54,901 - and she inherits a lot of money. - Right. exactly. So chapter 2: 278 00:15:55,021 --> 00:15:57,197 His mob buddies say that it's their money, 279 00:15:57,317 --> 00:15:59,640 so she hires Keith Straub, sleazy lawyer guy, 280 00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:03,007 who says he can get the money back from the Russians without her killed. 281 00:16:03,168 --> 00:16:06,266 - Let me guess. They fall in love. - Yeah. He's having a kid with her. 282 00:16:06,386 --> 00:16:08,511 So he makes sure he's tied to her 300 mill. 283 00:16:08,715 --> 00:16:11,030 Everyone's gonna cover this as gold digger makes good. 284 00:16:11,150 --> 00:16:12,941 But she is more than that. 285 00:16:13,141 --> 00:16:16,095 When the nuclear blast hits, it's just gonna be her and the cockroaches. 286 00:16:16,215 --> 00:16:17,865 Right. so chapter 3 is the baby. 287 00:16:17,985 --> 00:16:20,907 Now, when this baby drops, you better own this story. 288 00:16:23,594 --> 00:16:26,405 And have my office painted. I've seen enough red. 289 00:16:28,525 --> 00:16:30,367 Willa, you have anything yet? 290 00:16:30,851 --> 00:16:32,173 Since three minutes ago? 291 00:16:32,293 --> 00:16:34,596 Go talk to her. She's never met a reporter she didn't like. 292 00:16:34,716 --> 00:16:36,476 Okay. oh, um, Lucy? - What? 293 00:16:36,698 --> 00:16:39,463 - I just wanted to tell you something... - What? 294 00:16:39,583 --> 00:16:42,838 When I first started working here, I thought that I could do your job, 295 00:16:42,999 --> 00:16:45,007 That I could just sort of be you. 296 00:16:45,168 --> 00:16:47,233 You know? But, when you were in the hospital, 297 00:16:47,353 --> 00:16:49,647 I had a chance to take on as much of the responsibility 298 00:16:49,767 --> 00:16:51,746 for this magazine as I ever dreamed, 299 00:16:51,866 --> 00:16:53,343 - and... - And what? 300 00:16:53,801 --> 00:16:55,434 Well, I just... I couldn't do it. 301 00:16:55,594 --> 00:16:58,440 I mean, I can dress like you, I can act like you, 302 00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:02,510 But it's gonna take a long time before I can run a magazine like you. 303 00:17:04,546 --> 00:17:05,623 That's sweet. 304 00:17:06,447 --> 00:17:07,978 Did you rehearse that? 305 00:17:09,078 --> 00:17:09,848 Yeah. 306 00:17:14,121 --> 00:17:15,913 - Hey, Don. - Hey, Lucy. 307 00:17:16,074 --> 00:17:18,629 - Are you done yet? - No, I'm still in Dr. Shalba's office. 308 00:17:18,749 --> 00:17:20,870 - Okay, I'll be right there. - No. 309 00:17:20,990 --> 00:17:22,647 You don't have to. I'm okay. 310 00:17:22,767 --> 00:17:24,107 Don, I'm on my way. 311 00:17:24,539 --> 00:17:26,199 - I'm... I'm good. - All right. Bye. 312 00:17:26,319 --> 00:17:27,216 Bye. 313 00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:29,593 Oh. Willa. 314 00:17:31,038 --> 00:17:33,753 Hi. Keith Straub. How are you? Good to see you. 315 00:17:34,099 --> 00:17:36,299 - This is Chad. - I'm the son that doesn't matter. 316 00:17:36,419 --> 00:17:38,358 - Okay. kids, huh? - Yeah. 317 00:17:38,478 --> 00:17:40,354 And this, of course, 318 00:17:40,515 --> 00:17:44,024 - is the stunning Martina Linn. - Shut up, Keith. I look like a whale. 319 00:17:45,352 --> 00:17:47,111 I can't wait for my C-section. 320 00:17:47,910 --> 00:17:49,743 So nice to meet you all. 321 00:17:49,863 --> 00:17:52,074 Thank you so much for taking the time to meet with me. 322 00:17:52,395 --> 00:17:54,111 Lucy wanted to be here in person, 323 00:17:54,231 --> 00:17:56,516 but she's just out of the hospital herself, so... 324 00:17:56,636 --> 00:17:59,842 No problem, sweetie. We're thrilled you're interested in the baby pictures. 325 00:17:59,962 --> 00:18:02,584 All the magazines are interested. The more, the merrier. 326 00:18:03,330 --> 00:18:05,614 Well, Lucy wants to do a cover. 327 00:18:06,373 --> 00:18:07,958 A whole issue, really, 328 00:18:08,078 --> 00:18:10,551 about how love triumphs over tragedy and adversity. 329 00:18:10,712 --> 00:18:11,760 That's sweet. 330 00:18:11,921 --> 00:18:12,624 Yeah. 331 00:18:13,634 --> 00:18:15,514 Are there any wedding bells in your future? 332 00:18:15,675 --> 00:18:17,316 Oh-ho. no, no, no, no. 333 00:18:17,436 --> 00:18:20,930 I've been married twice before, And both times it was a disaster. 334 00:18:21,254 --> 00:18:24,022 I love Keith way too much to put that curse on him. 335 00:18:24,492 --> 00:18:27,568 This baby is our bond of love. You can quote us on that. 336 00:18:27,900 --> 00:18:31,609 Do you know he got me my inheritance without me ending up in the dumpster? 337 00:18:31,729 --> 00:18:34,074 - Wow. - He is my savior and my true love. 338 00:18:34,235 --> 00:18:35,587 That's another good quote. 339 00:18:35,707 --> 00:18:38,599 Speaking of the story, let's get back to the baby pictures. So, 340 00:18:38,719 --> 00:18:40,328 we're at 750 341 00:18:40,448 --> 00:18:42,281 for the exclusive set right now. 342 00:18:42,401 --> 00:18:44,835 Wow. that's pretty high. 343 00:18:44,995 --> 00:18:47,802 - No shit. - Chaddy, would you go get me a soda? 344 00:18:49,492 --> 00:18:50,424 Yes, mama. 345 00:18:50,710 --> 00:18:53,132 Right away, mama. Anything for you, mama. 346 00:18:53,526 --> 00:18:56,224 It was really nice to meet you, Chad. 347 00:18:56,953 --> 00:18:59,650 Oh. yeah. You, too. Yeah. 348 00:19:00,147 --> 00:19:02,644 - Hi, Don. - Hi, Dr. Shalba. 349 00:19:02,804 --> 00:19:06,190 - How are you feeling today, Don? - Weird. 350 00:19:06,639 --> 00:19:07,802 Weird how? 351 00:19:09,390 --> 00:19:11,500 Well, I... I say weird 352 00:19:11,620 --> 00:19:14,235 because I'm starting to feel normal 353 00:19:14,540 --> 00:19:17,931 and I haven't felt normal for a long time, 354 00:19:18,993 --> 00:19:20,389 and it feels weird. 355 00:19:20,792 --> 00:19:23,762 Well, we'll keep an eye on those feelings of normalcy. 356 00:19:23,882 --> 00:19:26,558 - They can be pretty scary, huh? - Yeah. 357 00:19:26,829 --> 00:19:29,045 Schizophrenia serves a purpose 358 00:19:29,207 --> 00:19:30,839 for people who suffer from it. 359 00:19:31,120 --> 00:19:34,345 The hallucinations, the flights of psychosis actually help 360 00:19:34,465 --> 00:19:36,970 lessen the pain and intensity 361 00:19:37,131 --> 00:19:38,667 of everyday experience. 362 00:19:38,787 --> 00:19:40,577 - Do you follow? - I do. 363 00:19:40,697 --> 00:19:43,290 But I think it's great that we're trying this. 364 00:19:51,254 --> 00:19:52,067 Okay. 365 00:19:54,982 --> 00:19:57,030 I'm going to give you the shot now, all right? 366 00:19:59,945 --> 00:20:03,872 And we'll make sure your "normal" doesn't get too weird. 367 00:20:04,424 --> 00:20:06,079 - Dr. Shalba? - Yes, Don. 368 00:20:06,199 --> 00:20:07,759 Those african masks, 369 00:20:08,328 --> 00:20:10,268 they never really spoke, did they? 370 00:20:10,388 --> 00:20:11,969 No, Don, they never spoke. 371 00:20:12,289 --> 00:20:14,299 I'll see you in a couple of weeks, okay? 372 00:20:31,226 --> 00:20:34,145 Hey, come here! You ungrateful bitch! 373 00:20:34,484 --> 00:20:35,445 Holy shit. 374 00:20:35,728 --> 00:20:37,447 Is this the thanks that I get? 375 00:20:37,608 --> 00:20:39,281 - Don, is that Sharlee Cates? - Who? 376 00:20:39,401 --> 00:20:42,150 Sharlee Cates. Get your camera out. 377 00:20:42,270 --> 00:20:44,428 - Hurry. - Okay, I'm hurrying. 378 00:20:44,548 --> 00:20:46,665 You gotta get this shot. What's on her face? 379 00:20:46,950 --> 00:20:49,376 - What'd she have to do there? - No. No. 380 00:20:49,537 --> 00:20:50,836 - No good. - No good? 381 00:20:50,997 --> 00:20:51,982 I'm sorry. 382 00:20:56,501 --> 00:20:58,427 Sharlee Cates would be a great get now. 383 00:20:58,588 --> 00:20:59,970 Please, Lucy, Lucy. 384 00:21:07,137 --> 00:21:08,145 Lucy, please. 385 00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:12,608 Get it, Don! 386 00:21:12,768 --> 00:21:15,277 What are you doing? I'll kill you! 387 00:21:15,729 --> 00:21:16,987 Friggin'move! 388 00:21:18,065 --> 00:21:20,198 Get away! Move! 389 00:21:20,442 --> 00:21:22,868 You friggin' paparazzi piece of shit! 390 00:21:23,153 --> 00:21:24,744 I'll hit you! move! 391 00:21:28,139 --> 00:21:29,791 Piece of shit! 392 00:21:33,235 --> 00:21:34,296 You're crazy. 393 00:21:38,460 --> 00:21:39,384 Oh, shit. 394 00:21:39,940 --> 00:21:42,179 - I popped a staple. - No. 395 00:21:42,340 --> 00:21:45,015 It's okay. That was great. 396 00:21:47,548 --> 00:21:49,478 I'm gonna say another week of bed rest at the very minimum. 397 00:21:49,638 --> 00:21:50,812 - All right. - Doctor, 398 00:21:51,158 --> 00:21:53,561 Carla is freaking in radiology. You need to get up there. 399 00:21:53,740 --> 00:21:55,238 Why? What is Carla's problem? 400 00:21:55,372 --> 00:21:58,273 All I know is that she is shouting your name like she was on fire. 401 00:21:58,433 --> 00:22:00,070 You want to finish dressing this? 402 00:22:04,962 --> 00:22:06,736 You're the magazine lady, Lucy Spiller? 403 00:22:06,900 --> 00:22:07,681 I am. 404 00:22:08,556 --> 00:22:10,487 You guys buy stories, right? 405 00:22:10,647 --> 00:22:13,066 - Depends. - Well, nobody's got this one. 406 00:22:13,333 --> 00:22:16,145 Martina Linn's son Chad is in the hospital. 407 00:22:16,421 --> 00:22:17,571 How am I doing? 408 00:22:18,099 --> 00:22:19,457 Don? You got cash? 409 00:22:19,719 --> 00:22:21,393 Underpants. 410 00:22:21,553 --> 00:22:22,525 Go on. 411 00:22:22,671 --> 00:22:25,835 My friend at Saint Edmonds said it was a massive overdose. 412 00:22:25,995 --> 00:22:28,231 - Dead? - Coma. 413 00:22:28,391 --> 00:22:30,676 She's a tragedy magnet, that one. 414 00:22:33,114 --> 00:22:34,096 Chapter 3. 415 00:22:40,033 --> 00:22:41,100 It's Chad Linn. 416 00:22:41,231 --> 00:22:43,218 Tell Lucy Spiller I got the real story for her... 417 00:22:43,345 --> 00:22:46,226 About the old man, murder, sex, betrayal, everything. 418 00:22:46,386 --> 00:22:47,808 But I wanna get paid good. 419 00:22:47,968 --> 00:22:49,899 - Hit me back, blondie. - When did this come in? 420 00:22:50,074 --> 00:22:51,608 About an hour before they said he od'd. 421 00:22:51,768 --> 00:22:54,644 - I thought he was clean. - Yeah, apparently not so much. 422 00:22:54,804 --> 00:22:57,179 What is this real story he's talking about? 423 00:22:57,339 --> 00:22:59,549 Do I need to call this into the LAPD? 424 00:22:59,709 --> 00:23:01,856 So they can screw it up? No. 425 00:23:02,016 --> 00:23:04,947 Don's on the hospital. Let's see what happens. 426 00:23:05,097 --> 00:23:06,739 All right, I gave the foreigners 500 bucks 427 00:23:06,866 --> 00:23:08,662 so that should keep everybody out while I talk to Martina. 428 00:23:08,830 --> 00:23:10,533 - Give her a grand. - What for? 429 00:23:10,693 --> 00:23:13,097 Cause we need her. Tell her it's a down payment. 430 00:23:13,257 --> 00:23:15,824 - All right. - Bob Woodward. 431 00:23:15,956 --> 00:23:18,225 See what you can find out about Sharlee Cates and this broad. 432 00:23:18,388 --> 00:23:19,813 - These are great. - Thank you. 433 00:23:19,973 --> 00:23:23,083 I got the pictures of the kid in a coma. 434 00:23:23,243 --> 00:23:26,909 And I got a copy of his medical chart. 435 00:23:27,069 --> 00:23:29,749 Said he od'd on methadone. 436 00:23:29,909 --> 00:23:30,997 Methadone? 437 00:23:31,895 --> 00:23:35,819 What addict accidentally overdoses on methadone? 438 00:23:35,979 --> 00:23:37,825 They're calling it a suicide. 439 00:23:40,710 --> 00:23:42,253 Something's not right. 440 00:23:43,450 --> 00:23:46,289 You don't call wanting a payday when you 441 00:23:46,449 --> 00:23:48,501 are planning to kill yourself. 442 00:23:50,214 --> 00:23:52,673 - Ooh, easy. - It's okay. 443 00:23:59,865 --> 00:24:02,195 I guess somebody, you know, 444 00:24:02,355 --> 00:24:06,050 knew he would talk and messed with his dosage. 445 00:24:07,527 --> 00:24:09,305 Looks like we got chapter 4. 446 00:24:10,008 --> 00:24:12,870 It's great, Don. You feeling good? 447 00:24:15,457 --> 00:24:16,192 No. 448 00:24:16,829 --> 00:24:18,870 But I'm feeling normal. 449 00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:25,583 Willa. Hi. Wake up. 450 00:24:25,947 --> 00:24:29,282 I need you to get every bit of audio you can find on Chad Linn. 451 00:24:29,442 --> 00:24:31,318 Get our web guy to help you out. 452 00:24:31,478 --> 00:24:33,466 Okay. I need it by tomorrow. Thanks. 453 00:24:42,054 --> 00:24:43,230 You need to rest. 454 00:24:56,365 --> 00:24:57,671 - Getting it done? - Ooh! 455 00:24:57,831 --> 00:24:59,213 Oh, yeah. Uhm... 456 00:24:59,373 --> 00:25:01,101 Yeah, we're getting there slowly. 457 00:25:01,261 --> 00:25:03,262 Young Chad wasn't the most articulate guy in town. 458 00:25:03,422 --> 00:25:05,391 - Neither is the mom. - Oh, she had her baby. 459 00:25:05,551 --> 00:25:07,841 - Really? - Yeah. 8 pounds, 11 ounces. 460 00:25:08,001 --> 00:25:09,877 Baby Lindee. C-section. 461 00:25:10,216 --> 00:25:12,263 If it takes after the mom, 4 of the 8 pounds are tits. 462 00:25:12,627 --> 00:25:13,749 Is she photo-friendly? 463 00:25:13,909 --> 00:25:15,573 Yeah. Total gerber baby, apparently. 464 00:25:15,733 --> 00:25:19,053 Oh, great. All right, tell photo to go up to 850. 465 00:25:19,348 --> 00:25:20,289 Oh, Mcpherson, 466 00:25:20,566 --> 00:25:22,383 I want you to pay that nurse another 5 grand, 467 00:25:22,543 --> 00:25:26,272 get something from the baby. I want a diaper, a hair, an ear. 468 00:25:26,432 --> 00:25:27,706 - Take it to gateway labs. - Okay. 469 00:25:27,866 --> 00:25:29,605 Oh, um, uh, Lucy, there's a guy... 470 00:25:29,867 --> 00:25:31,422 Hello. Hi, miss Spiller. 471 00:25:31,582 --> 00:25:33,064 It's great to meet you. 472 00:25:33,224 --> 00:25:34,664 I was sent over by media helpers. 473 00:25:34,824 --> 00:25:35,856 I think claudia at HR 474 00:25:35,984 --> 00:25:37,827 - spoke to you about the assistant job. - Oh, right. Yeah. 475 00:25:37,981 --> 00:25:39,490 - Yes. Oh. - Let me have your resume. 476 00:25:39,752 --> 00:25:40,775 Okay. There you go. 477 00:25:43,337 --> 00:25:45,755 Okay. Good. 478 00:25:46,380 --> 00:25:48,087 - You went to college. - Yes. 479 00:25:48,247 --> 00:25:50,162 You're a big guy. I like that. 480 00:25:50,322 --> 00:25:52,780 - Makes me feel safe. - Oh, great. that's great. 481 00:25:52,940 --> 00:25:55,222 Yeah, listen... I'm sorry to hear about your recent troubles. 482 00:25:55,434 --> 00:25:58,592 If there's anything that I can do to make things easier around here... 483 00:25:58,854 --> 00:26:00,270 You know I'm a crazy bitch, right? 484 00:26:00,649 --> 00:26:02,844 Uh, yes, I have heard that you can be... 485 00:26:03,004 --> 00:26:05,223 That it can be a bit of a challenge, 486 00:26:05,383 --> 00:26:07,298 but I'm certainly ready to meet that challenge... 487 00:26:07,444 --> 00:26:08,736 Okay. That's fantastic. Here. 488 00:26:08,870 --> 00:26:10,931 - You can start right now. - Fantastic. Yes, great. 489 00:26:11,091 --> 00:26:12,990 Thank you. I wasn't really planning... but yes... 490 00:26:13,242 --> 00:26:15,798 - Thank you. - Wait, your name is Kenny? 491 00:26:15,958 --> 00:26:17,194 Yes. Is that a problem? 492 00:26:17,456 --> 00:26:18,537 Well, it was for the last guy. 493 00:26:18,813 --> 00:26:21,490 - What happened to the last guy? - He got shot in the head. 494 00:26:24,205 --> 00:26:26,453 Okay. Ah... 495 00:26:27,664 --> 00:26:28,664 - Harsh. - What? 496 00:26:28,926 --> 00:26:31,125 Harsh. I know, I know. Harsh. 497 00:26:31,387 --> 00:26:34,111 - What are you doing? - I'm gonna leave. I just need a second. 498 00:26:34,271 --> 00:26:35,796 I just need a second. Harsh. 499 00:26:36,081 --> 00:26:38,424 I know, I know, I know. Harsh. 500 00:26:39,467 --> 00:26:40,297 Okay. 501 00:26:41,358 --> 00:26:44,013 Okay, I'm good. Uhm, I'm sorry. 502 00:26:44,275 --> 00:26:46,599 I just... I have this condition and, uhm... 503 00:26:46,811 --> 00:26:49,191 I don't want to bore you with it, but this is the only thing that helps. 504 00:26:49,313 --> 00:26:50,909 It's self-soothing. 505 00:26:51,069 --> 00:26:53,568 Otherwise, I faint. So I'm gonna go. 506 00:26:53,690 --> 00:26:55,848 - thank you so much for your time. - I think you should stay. 507 00:26:56,008 --> 00:26:59,212 - this could be fun. - Oh, excellent. 508 00:26:59,336 --> 00:27:01,721 Yes. Yes. I think that it could be fun. 509 00:27:01,881 --> 00:27:04,539 - And really, when you think about it... - But you gotta minimize the chatter. 510 00:27:04,700 --> 00:27:07,605 Right. I'm sorry. I get nervous. Uhm, that's... 511 00:27:07,765 --> 00:27:08,996 Oh, okay. Thank you. 512 00:27:09,265 --> 00:27:11,165 Okay. Oh, watch out for anthrax. 513 00:27:15,528 --> 00:27:16,585 Oh. Harsh. 514 00:27:21,473 --> 00:27:24,534 Oh, Lucy, so the lady Sharlee Cates was chasing 515 00:27:24,657 --> 00:27:27,935 was the mother of her assistant Joanne Wentzel. 516 00:27:28,095 --> 00:27:29,737 Ex-assistant, rather. 517 00:27:29,897 --> 00:27:32,780 Sharlee was chasing her ex-assistant's mother? 518 00:27:32,940 --> 00:27:34,349 Apparently. 519 00:27:34,509 --> 00:27:36,235 Well, it's a dazzling story. why? 520 00:27:36,395 --> 00:27:38,836 The mother Joanne works at a dermatologist's office. 521 00:27:38,996 --> 00:27:42,270 - Bad botox? - Sharlee Cates is 22, genius. 522 00:27:44,881 --> 00:27:46,736 So I looked up your information, 523 00:27:46,954 --> 00:27:49,371 Which we're not supposed to do unless we're running a check for employers, 524 00:27:49,496 --> 00:27:51,241 but we do it all the time... 525 00:27:51,401 --> 00:27:53,910 New girlfriends, landlords, whatever. 526 00:27:54,070 --> 00:27:56,785 Plus this thing kicks ass over google, so... 527 00:27:56,945 --> 00:27:59,297 Had a bit of a gambling problem in college, huh? 528 00:27:59,725 --> 00:28:00,832 Yeah, it's a bummer. 529 00:28:00,992 --> 00:28:04,407 Uneven employment history, and you work for Dirtnow. 530 00:28:04,567 --> 00:28:06,191 - Now. - You know, it always terrifies me 531 00:28:06,318 --> 00:28:08,842 how much information potential employers have access to. 532 00:28:08,991 --> 00:28:10,234 I know. It's crazy. 533 00:28:10,371 --> 00:28:11,726 Hey, how's it going, Emily? 534 00:28:11,864 --> 00:28:16,510 Yeah, I like how the piping is fitting with the... the... the slacks. 535 00:28:16,670 --> 00:28:18,399 Is that a... that's a choice. 536 00:28:18,755 --> 00:28:20,013 Five D. O. I, two kids. 537 00:28:20,159 --> 00:28:22,555 Bikes to work. It's a sad story. I don't know how she does it. 538 00:28:22,684 --> 00:28:25,473 Did you find anything out about Heather Wentzel, the assistant? 539 00:28:25,633 --> 00:28:28,849 Uh, why, is this some kind of big Sharlee Cates scandal coming down? 540 00:28:29,011 --> 00:28:30,295 All depends on you, Lars. 541 00:28:30,581 --> 00:28:32,529 Then you're shit out of luck. Heather's Wentzel's boring. 542 00:28:32,689 --> 00:28:36,458 No arrests, and the Sharlee Cates gig was her first assistant job, so... 543 00:28:36,722 --> 00:28:38,932 What about the mom? 544 00:28:39,100 --> 00:28:40,570 Joanne Wentzel. 545 00:28:44,156 --> 00:28:45,634 Yeah. She almost got fired, 546 00:28:45,896 --> 00:28:48,276 because her employer, Alpha Pharmaceuticals, 547 00:28:48,436 --> 00:28:50,373 accused her of stealing quantities 548 00:28:50,553 --> 00:28:52,558 of prescription drugs to sell to her clients. 549 00:28:52,905 --> 00:28:55,545 Turns out they couldn't prove anything cause the file was closed. 550 00:28:55,705 --> 00:28:59,258 But it wasn't closed to us cause the mighty corporation sees all... 551 00:29:00,841 --> 00:29:04,770 I'm starting to see how all this comes together. It's cool. Reporting. 552 00:29:05,032 --> 00:29:06,611 So am I gonna be in Dirtnow? 553 00:29:06,771 --> 00:29:08,324 Well, wouldn't you get fired? 554 00:29:08,998 --> 00:29:10,743 Yeah... I guess. 555 00:29:10,903 --> 00:29:12,828 Can I be an anonymous source? 556 00:29:14,129 --> 00:29:15,304 No problem. 557 00:29:15,854 --> 00:29:18,111 Hey, the mother, Joanne Wentzel, 558 00:29:18,239 --> 00:29:20,619 was Sharlee's dealer, okay? Got her daughter Heather hired 559 00:29:20,773 --> 00:29:21,859 as sharlee's assistant. 560 00:29:22,019 --> 00:29:23,059 But when Joanne gets busted 561 00:29:23,208 --> 00:29:26,216 and stops getting vicodin and oxy for Sharlee, Sharlee freaked, 562 00:29:26,505 --> 00:29:28,101 okay? I'm basically two calls away 563 00:29:28,261 --> 00:29:30,387 from having it locked up and double-sourced. 564 00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:32,521 Wow. Not bad, Woodward. 565 00:29:32,681 --> 00:29:34,025 I know. Right? 566 00:29:34,531 --> 00:29:36,896 So Sharlee Cates is a drug user. Could be. 567 00:29:37,025 --> 00:29:38,229 No, no, no, no. For sure, okay? 568 00:29:38,382 --> 00:29:40,043 I confirmed with Heather, the assistant she fired, 569 00:29:40,193 --> 00:29:43,255 and I got the secondary source. It's gonna pass legal for sure. 570 00:29:43,630 --> 00:29:47,248 All right, well, it's interesting. I'll definitely consider it. Thanks. 571 00:29:47,408 --> 00:29:48,457 That's it? 572 00:29:49,683 --> 00:29:51,545 Your writing could use some work. 573 00:29:51,705 --> 00:29:53,469 Willa, give it a pass. Dirt it up a little. 574 00:29:53,603 --> 00:29:55,037 Uh, do you mean dumb it down? 575 00:29:56,381 --> 00:29:58,140 Okay, let's see. 576 00:29:58,300 --> 00:30:00,678 "She's the apotheosis of bubble gum pop." 577 00:30:00,838 --> 00:30:02,797 You're kidding, right? Any word on Chad Linn? 578 00:30:02,933 --> 00:30:04,865 No. Still coma boy, but 579 00:30:05,025 --> 00:30:06,465 I did get a tape for you. 580 00:30:06,677 --> 00:30:08,144 - Did your nurse come through? - I got a hair. 581 00:30:08,281 --> 00:30:10,043 Great. I want a lab report as soon as possible. 582 00:30:10,167 --> 00:30:11,720 I don't care what it costs. 583 00:30:16,216 --> 00:30:17,726 Chad wants to sell us the story. 584 00:30:18,067 --> 00:30:19,263 He says you tried to kill him. 585 00:30:19,423 --> 00:30:22,213 - Chaddie's awake? - I'm going to make you a deal. 586 00:30:22,373 --> 00:30:24,081 I'll tell your story. 587 00:30:24,204 --> 00:30:26,183 You could use the pages of Dirt to sway the jury. 588 00:30:26,327 --> 00:30:27,949 That's bullshit. I just saw him this morning. 589 00:30:28,099 --> 00:30:30,689 Ted williams' head has a better chance of waking up. 590 00:30:30,849 --> 00:30:31,834 Sorry, baby. 591 00:30:31,976 --> 00:30:35,970 Well, he was up enough to ask the nurse to switch him to a more secure room. 592 00:30:36,116 --> 00:30:37,262 You can ask the ICU. 593 00:30:37,391 --> 00:30:39,123 You're full of shit. 594 00:30:42,262 --> 00:30:43,228 Let's see. 595 00:30:44,099 --> 00:30:45,817 Lucy, it's Chad Linn. 596 00:30:45,973 --> 00:30:48,265 I got a real story, but I want to get paid. 597 00:30:48,429 --> 00:30:49,842 Martina tried to make me die, 598 00:30:49,995 --> 00:30:51,864 just like she poisoned the old man. 599 00:30:52,500 --> 00:30:54,438 What'd you do, load his diet coke with methadone? 600 00:30:55,109 --> 00:30:56,459 Don't say anything. 601 00:30:56,612 --> 00:30:58,632 I don't know why you keep sticking up for her. 602 00:30:59,176 --> 00:31:00,248 She screwed you, too. 603 00:31:00,394 --> 00:31:02,030 Okay, I think it's time you get the hell out of here. 604 00:31:02,398 --> 00:31:03,610 Fine, but if it were me, 605 00:31:03,756 --> 00:31:05,626 and my baby girl was another man's, 606 00:31:05,771 --> 00:31:06,775 I'd want to know. 607 00:31:07,643 --> 00:31:09,549 That's bullshit. Go. 608 00:31:09,957 --> 00:31:13,615 Here you go. This is baby Lindee's dna. 609 00:31:15,657 --> 00:31:18,579 There's a match to a very large Russian family, the Romanovs. 610 00:31:19,107 --> 00:31:21,490 Isn't that the name of your late husband? 611 00:31:22,638 --> 00:31:24,899 Keith, you're not the father. 612 00:31:25,081 --> 00:31:27,714 She's not going to marry you. You're not going to get a dime. 613 00:31:27,847 --> 00:31:29,640 Keith, honey, honestly, I would never ever... 614 00:31:29,795 --> 00:31:32,435 Don't, don't, don't. Do not bullshit me. 615 00:31:32,911 --> 00:31:35,240 So when were you going to get around to killing me? 616 00:31:35,566 --> 00:31:36,765 That's so mean. 617 00:31:36,892 --> 00:31:38,440 Why would you say something so hurtful? 618 00:31:38,646 --> 00:31:41,312 Spare me the theatrics, okay? This isn't one of your soft-porn movies. 619 00:31:41,441 --> 00:31:43,180 You poisoned your husband, you poisoned your child. 620 00:31:43,326 --> 00:31:44,530 It stands to reason that I'm next. 621 00:31:44,771 --> 00:31:47,517 You can't let me live, can you? I know where the bodies are. 622 00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:52,856 Keith, honey, really, it's just our word against hers. 623 00:31:52,976 --> 00:31:55,684 - It don't mean nothing. - What about me, Martina? 624 00:31:56,033 --> 00:31:58,410 - What do I get? - Just... Just anything you want. 625 00:31:58,530 --> 00:32:00,908 Just draw up the papers. I'll sign it. 626 00:32:01,333 --> 00:32:02,411 I love you. 627 00:32:03,489 --> 00:32:05,130 And you still love me. 628 00:32:15,330 --> 00:32:16,887 What are you going to do? 629 00:32:17,185 --> 00:32:20,880 I'm going to give away half my money as soon as he gets bored? 630 00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:22,559 Like they all eventually do? 631 00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:25,341 If you say so. 632 00:32:26,249 --> 00:32:28,200 You got no story here, you know? 633 00:32:28,759 --> 00:32:30,984 - Really? How so? - No. 634 00:32:31,270 --> 00:32:33,014 Well, he's not going to talk 635 00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:35,183 because he'd implicate himself. 636 00:32:35,630 --> 00:32:38,571 And even if Chaddie does come out of his coma, 637 00:32:38,970 --> 00:32:40,313 well, he's... 638 00:32:40,909 --> 00:32:43,497 A career addict. Breaks my heart. 639 00:32:44,158 --> 00:32:46,796 With a criminal history? Pssh. 640 00:32:47,250 --> 00:32:49,419 He's not a very reliable witness. 641 00:32:50,375 --> 00:32:53,268 Yeah, well, I'm not a D.A. 642 00:32:54,203 --> 00:32:57,177 I'm a reporter. And I'm pretty certain that 643 00:32:57,785 --> 00:33:00,399 I can report your confession in this interview. 644 00:33:00,859 --> 00:33:02,681 Yeah, well, knock yourself out. 645 00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:04,330 Really. 646 00:33:04,529 --> 00:33:06,230 Because I didn't say any of that. 647 00:33:06,731 --> 00:33:08,034 You know Phil Spector? 648 00:33:08,543 --> 00:33:10,864 He killed that woman, shot her dead, 649 00:33:10,984 --> 00:33:12,826 Confessed at the crime scene. 650 00:33:12,946 --> 00:33:14,757 And what happened to him? 651 00:33:16,100 --> 00:33:19,283 And I have more money than him and Robert Blake, 652 00:33:19,545 --> 00:33:21,364 and O.J. combined. 653 00:33:33,187 --> 00:33:35,182 Uh, Ms. Spiller, Sharlee Cates is here. She's... 654 00:33:35,343 --> 00:33:36,138 Move, asswipe. 655 00:33:36,282 --> 00:33:37,578 Harsh. Ugh. 656 00:33:38,812 --> 00:33:41,094 I have a kid and a marriage, you know? 657 00:33:41,214 --> 00:33:42,336 I will sue. 658 00:33:42,932 --> 00:33:45,538 It all went through legal. They're pretty confident. 659 00:33:45,948 --> 00:33:48,533 - But I'm not going to run it. - What? 660 00:33:49,547 --> 00:33:51,491 I want you to meet someone. 661 00:33:52,196 --> 00:33:53,687 This is Don Konkey. 662 00:33:54,472 --> 00:33:55,566 Hi, Sharlee. 663 00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:59,669 - Sounds like Donkey Kong. - Yeah, it's almost an anagram. 664 00:34:00,117 --> 00:34:01,670 Don Konkey, Donkey Kong. 665 00:34:01,790 --> 00:34:03,870 But there's no g in Don Konkey. 666 00:34:04,373 --> 00:34:06,210 Don's going to be your personal photographer. 667 00:34:06,330 --> 00:34:08,063 He'll need unfettered access. 668 00:34:08,470 --> 00:34:09,850 Oh, that means lots. 669 00:34:11,696 --> 00:34:13,238 I really like "love me monday." 670 00:34:15,077 --> 00:34:15,819 Thank you. 671 00:34:16,148 --> 00:34:19,681 I mean, why have one sad career-destroying cover 672 00:34:19,801 --> 00:34:22,054 when we can have 20 happy, productive ones? 673 00:34:43,308 --> 00:34:44,954 I knew Julia Mallory. 674 00:34:46,826 --> 00:34:49,089 Not like best friends, but I knew her. 675 00:34:52,053 --> 00:34:54,049 Doesn't it make you nervous... 676 00:34:55,864 --> 00:34:58,298 To mess around with people's lives like this? 677 00:35:00,999 --> 00:35:03,144 Given everything that's happened. 678 00:35:14,217 --> 00:35:14,926 No. 679 00:35:18,020 --> 00:35:18,946 Well... 680 00:35:21,866 --> 00:35:24,958 My fans don't want to see me as a druggy, so, um... 681 00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:29,434 Give me a call, Donkey Kong. 682 00:35:31,290 --> 00:35:33,396 Oh. I'm sorry. 683 00:35:36,102 --> 00:35:37,634 Yeah, that'll be good. 684 00:35:41,452 --> 00:35:44,266 That's a $12,000 rug. I hope she's worth it. 685 00:35:45,972 --> 00:35:48,849 - Don't sweat it, dude. - Mm, thank you, dude. 686 00:35:50,671 --> 00:35:52,555 You get that that story was just a prop 687 00:35:52,675 --> 00:35:54,813 for Lucy to use with Sharlee and with you? 688 00:35:59,050 --> 00:36:01,000 It still doesn't excuse some of your larger sins 689 00:36:01,120 --> 00:36:02,872 of metaphor and syntax in this piece. 690 00:36:03,209 --> 00:36:04,700 Oh, goody. 691 00:36:04,820 --> 00:36:06,668 Journalism class. Go ahead. 692 00:36:07,090 --> 00:36:10,161 "Last may at the coliseum, Sharlee Cates literally 693 00:36:10,281 --> 00:36:13,812 "ripped the hearts out of the audience with her rendition of'Hey, Jude.'" 694 00:36:14,761 --> 00:36:16,926 Help me out here, Willa. What did she do, exactly? 695 00:36:17,046 --> 00:36:20,181 Did she descend into the crowd while singing 696 00:36:20,301 --> 00:36:23,049 and start tearing out their still-beating hearts like 697 00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:26,463 some kind of mayan priest at a ritual sacrifice? 698 00:36:26,583 --> 00:36:29,890 I mean, I'm assuming you were a journalism major 699 00:36:30,562 --> 00:36:32,309 Or at least an english major. 700 00:36:33,023 --> 00:36:34,313 Jesus christ, what do you do? 701 00:36:34,433 --> 00:36:36,658 Just come to work here and throw out every trace 702 00:36:36,778 --> 00:36:40,173 Of education and... ethics you ever acquired? 703 00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:46,970 You wouldn't happen to talking about yourself, just a... 704 00:36:47,131 --> 00:36:48,895 Just a little bit, would you? 705 00:36:56,929 --> 00:36:57,846 Whatever. 706 00:37:04,104 --> 00:37:07,338 He died a year ago on the night of a blood moon, 707 00:37:08,320 --> 00:37:10,806 also known as a sanguine moon. 708 00:37:12,450 --> 00:37:13,735 That's tonight. 709 00:37:14,501 --> 00:37:16,544 - A year ago. - I remember. 710 00:37:17,578 --> 00:37:19,001 Tristan was special. 711 00:37:19,479 --> 00:37:22,374 There was no way he was going to a pet cemetery. 712 00:37:22,820 --> 00:37:23,643 Ramon... 713 00:37:24,285 --> 00:37:26,675 Caretaker here, he understands that. 714 00:37:27,750 --> 00:37:30,468 And I give him a hundred a month on the side. 715 00:37:32,990 --> 00:37:35,469 I didn't like the way you drove when we were chasing Sharlee. 716 00:37:36,703 --> 00:37:37,629 I'm sorry. 717 00:37:39,062 --> 00:37:41,647 Part of my, uh, being normal. 718 00:37:43,415 --> 00:37:45,919 is risk aversion. I'm developing my risk aversion. 719 00:37:47,795 --> 00:37:49,383 I'm developing my risk. 720 00:37:49,781 --> 00:37:52,920 Yeah, fear is an essential survival tool. 721 00:37:54,090 --> 00:37:56,321 Yeah, but fear can also do you in. 722 00:37:57,014 --> 00:37:58,064 I'm over it. 723 00:37:59,369 --> 00:38:00,560 What happened to you, Lucy? 724 00:38:03,260 --> 00:38:04,562 I was in a coma, 725 00:38:05,328 --> 00:38:08,385 and for a minute I crossed over. 726 00:38:09,945 --> 00:38:11,287 It was so nice. 727 00:38:14,005 --> 00:38:15,251 Why'd you come back? 728 00:38:15,875 --> 00:38:17,124 I don't know. 729 00:38:18,684 --> 00:38:19,919 We'll see. 730 00:38:22,444 --> 00:38:24,670 Don't drive like that when I'm in the car. 731 00:38:24,957 --> 00:38:27,117 - Okay? - Okay. 732 00:38:34,456 --> 00:38:35,761 What happened to you? 733 00:38:40,050 --> 00:38:43,798 Since I've been sick, it's been like looking at one of those 734 00:38:43,918 --> 00:38:45,330 old funhouse mirrors. 735 00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:50,583 And then, one day I turn around 736 00:38:51,178 --> 00:38:53,164 And I see the whole real world. 737 00:38:54,150 --> 00:38:56,100 And my cat stopped talking to me. 738 00:38:59,290 --> 00:39:01,086 My walls stopped breathing. 739 00:39:02,023 --> 00:39:04,576 And instead of seeing the moon in my mind, 740 00:39:05,732 --> 00:39:06,995 I'm really here. 741 00:39:09,207 --> 00:39:10,342 I am, right? 742 00:39:14,349 --> 00:39:15,342 We both are. 743 00:39:39,803 --> 00:39:40,850 Pretty, huh? 744 00:39:52,580 --> 00:39:55,062 _/Yellow Sub\_ contact@yellowsubteam.com