1 00:00:01,080 --> 00:00:02,850 Previously on dirt... 2 00:00:03,330 --> 00:00:04,815 hi,Lucy. 3 00:00:06,150 --> 00:00:08,150 You ruined my life. 4 00:00:16,470 --> 00:00:19,430 you're alright Lucy, yeah you're alright 5 00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:20,720 Hello,everyone. 6 00:00:20,740 --> 00:00:22,120 Vacation's over. 7 00:00:22,130 --> 00:00:24,700 - Spiller,you're... - alive. 8 00:00:24,710 --> 00:00:26,100 How's the injection goin 9 00:00:26,110 --> 00:00:27,300 no,I'm sick 10 00:00:27,310 --> 00:00:29,660 you're sick,I'm sick,we're all sick. 11 00:00:30,450 --> 00:00:31,680 I'm gonna give you the shot now,okay 12 00:00:31,690 --> 00:00:33,680 I'm starting to feel norma 13 00:00:33,690 --> 00:00:34,880 holt mclaren. 14 00:00:34,890 --> 00:00:36,370 Don konkey. 15 00:00:36,380 --> 00:00:38,940 Did you tell her I tried to visit her? 16 00:00:38,950 --> 00:00:41,730 Yeah. No. 17 00:00:41,740 --> 00:00:43,470 - Your name is kenny? - Yes. 18 00:00:43,480 --> 00:00:44,260 Is that a proem? 19 00:00:44,270 --> 00:00:45,530 Well,it was for the last guy. 20 00:00:45,540 --> 00:00:46,580 What happened to the last guy? 21 00:00:46,590 --> 00:00:47,870 He got shot in the head. 22 00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:49,150 Oh,and this is farber kan. 23 00:00:49,160 --> 00:00:52,500 he's a staff reporter who'll be gunning for all of your jobs. 24 00:00:53,310 --> 00:00:55,010 Uh,lucy,should I just be following u? 25 00:00:55,020 --> 00:00:56,070 That one's yours. 26 00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:57,930 - Excuse me,that is my desk. - I know. 27 00:00:57,940 --> 00:00:59,130 Don,is that sharlee cat ? 28 00:00:59,140 --> 00:01:00,800 This is the thanks that I get? 29 00:01:00,830 --> 00:01:01,810 - Get your camera out. - Okay. 30 00:01:01,820 --> 00:01:02,737 Hurry. 31 00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:05,690 Sharlee cates would be a great get now. 32 00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:07,878 Get it,don. 33 00:01:09,250 --> 00:01:12,362 Freakin' move! Move! 34 00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:18,363 Season 2, Episode 2 "Dirty, slutty whores" 35 00:01:24,420 --> 00:01:25,320 Hey,holt! 36 00:01:25,330 --> 00:01:27,065 Hey,come on! Ain't it in bad taste to be 37 00:01:27,065 --> 00:01:29,613 out clubbing so soon after julia's death? 38 00:01:30,060 --> 00:01:31,940 - Bad taste? - Yeah. 39 00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:34,488 You know what I think is bad taste is you 40 00:01:34,488 --> 00:01:35,940 guys following me around everywhere I go, 41 00:01:35,950 --> 00:01:38,250 asking me this and that about julia. 42 00:01:38,260 --> 00:01:40,190 - Did you even know her? - No. 43 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:41,700 No,I didn't think so. 44 00:01:41,710 --> 00:01:43,230 Didn't have the pleasure. 45 00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:44,737 You know what's even more funny 46 00:01:44,737 --> 00:01:47,110 about that whole situation is,is now, 47 00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:50,700 what,you're just gonna make all this money off of her? 48 00:01:50,710 --> 00:01:53,780 What,to sell your magazines and your clip shows? 49 00:01:53,790 --> 00:01:54,999 She's dead,bro. 50 00:01:55,620 --> 00:01:57,730 - Sell your magazines,your clip shows. - Good for him. 51 00:01:57,740 --> 00:01:58,890 Screw him. 52 00:01:58,900 --> 00:02:02,460 The bitch stabbed lucy,now he's defending her? 53 00:02:02,470 --> 00:02:04,910 People,people,people,I didn't get my liver 54 00:02:04,910 --> 00:02:06,840 nicked to have holt mclaren on my cover 55 00:02:06,850 --> 00:02:08,425 saying that we're the bad guys. 56 00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:10,510 Willa,are you with us? 57 00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:11,660 Oh,sorry. 58 00:02:11,670 --> 00:02:14,480 Um,you've got to hear what somebody sent in. 59 00:02:14,490 --> 00:02:16,610 It's anonymous,but it's really good.Do you mind if I-- 60 00:02:16,620 --> 00:02:18,550 yes,anything's better than this. 61 00:02:18,820 --> 00:02:20,520 Uncle jimmy? 62 00:02:20,530 --> 00:02:22,050 God,is that turd still on the air? 63 00:02:22,060 --> 00:02:24,880 That turd just syndicated for four mil an episode. 64 00:02:24,890 --> 00:02:26,420 It's the last great family sitcom. 65 00:02:26,430 --> 00:02:27,460 I love his standup. 66 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:31,040 Yeah,this is a slightly different performance from him. 67 00:02:31,390 --> 00:02:34,070 Krista,it's your father calling again. 68 00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:35,430 Thursday night. 69 00:02:35,450 --> 00:02:36,810 You know what,you told me you were coming down here, 70 00:02:36,820 --> 00:02:39,320 so I set aside seats for you and your goddamn friends, 71 00:02:39,330 --> 00:02:40,738 and now I'm about to do a show, 72 00:02:40,738 --> 00:02:41,930 and you're not here once again, 73 00:02:41,940 --> 00:02:44,488 so I look like an ass with my dick in my hands 74 00:02:44,488 --> 00:02:46,950 because my frickin' daughter didn't show up,okay? 75 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:48,660 Well,listen,you wanna know something? 76 00:02:48,670 --> 00:02:50,860 You're a stupid little narcissist,do ya hear me? 77 00:02:50,870 --> 00:02:54,240 I don't care if you're 14 or 15 or however the hell old you are. 78 00:02:54,260 --> 00:02:55,160 You say you don't have my love, 79 00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:57,660 you say you don't have my respect. 80 00:02:57,670 --> 00:03:00,280 Goddamn it,you don't deserve my respect,do you hear me? 81 00:03:00,290 --> 00:03:03,430 You don't deserve it because you're selfish,and you're hollow, 82 00:03:03,440 --> 00:03:07,425 and I don't give a shit about you and your slutty cheerleader friends! 83 00:03:07,500 --> 00:03:10,510 Press "p" to play the current message again. 84 00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:12,930 And to think I used to hate people who left long messages. 85 00:03:12,940 --> 00:03:13,900 Is it exclusive? 86 00:03:13,910 --> 00:03:15,503 Well,I'm thinking that the person who 87 00:03:15,503 --> 00:03:17,320 sent it in is probably spreading it around. 88 00:03:17,340 --> 00:03:18,340 He's a major sitcom star. 89 00:03:18,350 --> 00:03:20,831 We gotta find out who sent it and why, 90 00:03:20,831 --> 00:03:22,700 if it's edited,if it's real,what's going on. 91 00:03:22,710 --> 00:03:24,340 Yeah,I was gonna start with his ex-wife. 92 00:03:24,350 --> 00:03:25,238 You think? 93 00:03:28,890 --> 00:03:29,670 What's happening? 94 00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:30,160 Turn on the news. 95 00:03:32,110 --> 00:03:34,550 Hold on,we do now have an official statement 96 00:03:34,550 --> 00:03:36,820 from the chp press op confirming 97 00:03:36,830 --> 00:03:38,820 that celebutante milan carlton 98 00:03:38,820 --> 00:03:40,956 was just stopped by the police 99 00:03:40,956 --> 00:03:44,770 trying to drive onto the 405 freeway using the off-ramp. 100 00:03:44,780 --> 00:03:47,690 It could be a problem for milan if she's been drinking... 101 00:03:47,700 --> 00:03:48,600 if? 102 00:03:48,610 --> 00:03:50,760 The girl drinks so much,she probably pees rubbing alcohol. 103 00:03:50,770 --> 00:03:52,530 Look,you can't even see the sign. 104 00:03:52,540 --> 00:03:53,510 Are you high? 105 00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:55,270 My parents paid for that on-ramp. 106 00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:57,150 We can't leave my car. 107 00:03:57,160 --> 00:03:57,990 That's my boob. 108 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,530 Where are the rodney king cops when you need 'em? 109 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:08,800 Dirt 2x02 110 00:04:10,300 --> 00:04:13,659 Dirty, Slutty Whores 111 00:04:16,410 --> 00:04:17,080 all right, 112 00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:21,090 let's make room for milan and her yapping purse-mutt. 113 00:04:24,700 --> 00:04:25,900 The cupcake house? 114 00:04:25,910 --> 00:04:26,620 Whose is this? 115 00:04:26,630 --> 00:04:28,430 That's-- that's mine. 116 00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:31,210 The guy builds a house out of cupcakes. That's the story? 117 00:04:31,220 --> 00:04:33,190 He did it to win the heart of the woman he loved. 118 00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:36,140 She's crazy about cupcakes. It'S...sweet. 119 00:04:36,150 --> 00:04:37,170 Well,sweet. 120 00:04:37,180 --> 00:04:38,810 It's insane,but sweet. 121 00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:40,180 All right,we'll use it next week. 122 00:04:40,190 --> 00:04:41,988 But get a better shot of him eating 123 00:04:41,988 --> 00:04:43,360 her icing off the wall or something. 124 00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:44,500 Well,they broke up. 125 00:04:44,510 --> 00:04:46,480 Not in my magazine. Get the shot. 126 00:04:46,490 --> 00:04:48,050 All right,milan is our cover,but,of course, 127 00:04:48,050 --> 00:04:49,060 she's going to be everyone's cover, 128 00:04:49,070 --> 00:04:51,590 so what I wanna know is how she's gonna get out of going to jail. 129 00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:55,740 Yeah,isn't she going to jail right now on live tv? 130 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:58,900 Night court judge has rescinded her parole, 131 00:04:58,910 --> 00:05:00,487 mandating her to serve out the remainder 132 00:05:00,487 --> 00:05:03,620 of her sentence here at the county jail. 133 00:05:03,630 --> 00:05:05,941 Milan carlton is a spoiled little billionaire 134 00:05:05,941 --> 00:05:07,760 who's gotten away with everything her whole life. 135 00:05:07,770 --> 00:05:09,010 Why waste time? 136 00:05:09,020 --> 00:05:10,363 Let's just figure out how her daddy's gonna 137 00:05:10,363 --> 00:05:12,441 use his money to get his little girl off. 138 00:05:13,090 --> 00:05:13,999 Did I just say that? 139 00:05:15,950 --> 00:05:17,040 Oddly aroused. 140 00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:18,200 All right,find out. 141 00:05:18,210 --> 00:05:20,090 That's how we afford the cappuccino runs. 142 00:05:20,100 --> 00:05:22,010 They pay for cappuccino runs? 143 00:05:22,020 --> 00:05:23,675 I'm thinking that that was a figure of speech, 144 00:05:23,675 --> 00:05:25,560 but you can go ask her. 145 00:05:28,610 --> 00:05:29,720 Oh,hey,lucy. 146 00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:30,850 Heard about milan? 147 00:05:30,860 --> 00:05:32,390 Yeah,I'm on my way now. 148 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:34,740 You and the entire press corps,right? 149 00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:37,110 Everybody knows. 150 00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:38,990 You putting cream on your wound? 151 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,310 As we speak. 152 00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:42,675 No,cabernet does not count. 153 00:05:43,250 --> 00:05:44,880 Do you have a hidden camera in here? 154 00:05:44,890 --> 00:05:46,310 No,I just know your voice. 155 00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:47,710 Plus I heard you sip. 156 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:50,400 Well,it's pinot,not cabernet,and,yes, 157 00:05:50,430 --> 00:05:53,330 I will put my cream on if you get a shot of milan in lock-up. 158 00:05:53,340 --> 00:05:53,910 But hurry. 159 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:56,690 She'll be out before 10:00 pilates class. 160 00:05:56,700 --> 00:05:58,580 - Okay. - Thanks. 161 00:05:59,030 --> 00:06:00,950 Hey,are you all right? 162 00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:02,660 I'm fine. 163 00:06:02,670 --> 00:06:05,300 You really don't like her,do you? Milan. 164 00:06:05,310 --> 00:06:08,240 Are you kidding? I love her. 165 00:06:08,250 --> 00:06:11,200 - Get the shot.Bye. - Bye. 166 00:06:13,500 --> 00:06:14,990 Dude. 167 00:06:19,130 --> 00:06:20,612 You got a smoke? 168 00:06:25,220 --> 00:06:26,925 Dude? 169 00:06:27,110 --> 00:06:28,550 You got a cigarette? 170 00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:30,550 You're real. 171 00:06:31,450 --> 00:06:34,160 Look,if you don't smoke,just say so. Christ! 172 00:06:35,450 --> 00:06:37,550 Man,this job sucks. 173 00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:40,862 I knew you were real! 174 00:06:41,210 --> 00:06:42,570 Hey,man. 175 00:06:42,580 --> 00:06:43,780 All right? 176 00:06:43,790 --> 00:06:45,988 I'm giving you the finger here! 177 00:06:50,670 --> 00:06:52,060 Weird. 178 00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:58,770 Lucy? Are you okay? 179 00:06:58,780 --> 00:06:59,900 Yeah. 180 00:06:59,910 --> 00:07:01,863 Every time the cleaning crew comes,they move this 181 00:07:01,863 --> 00:07:04,010 to plug in the vacuum, and they don't put it back. 182 00:07:04,020 --> 00:07:05,850 How's america's favorite sitcom dad? 183 00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:09,690 Um,well,his voicemail attacking his daughter is now on the web. 184 00:07:09,730 --> 00:07:12,190 Um,it is youtube's number one hit. 185 00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:14,560 If you're gonna leave everything a mess,it's not really cleaning,is it? 186 00:07:14,590 --> 00:07:15,410 No. 187 00:07:15,420 --> 00:07:16,420 What about the ex-wife? 188 00:07:16,450 --> 00:07:19,880 Well,the divorce is final,but they're still having major custody issues. 189 00:07:19,890 --> 00:07:21,800 She and her lawyers have been court 190 00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:24,020 ordered to keep everything out of the media, 191 00:07:24,030 --> 00:07:26,050 so,basically,if she leaked the tape-- 192 00:07:26,060 --> 00:07:28,790 then she'd be guilty of using us. 193 00:07:29,090 --> 00:07:30,880 Hate when people do that. Get proof. 194 00:07:30,890 --> 00:07:32,290 Yeah,that's not gonna be easy. 195 00:07:32,300 --> 00:07:33,710 Did I say easy? 196 00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:36,770 No,easy would be moving the furniture back after you've vacuumed. 197 00:07:36,780 --> 00:07:38,390 - You want that job? - No. 198 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:41,660 All right. I'll find out who had access to the voicemail,the mother, 199 00:07:41,670 --> 00:07:43,190 the lawyer,and see if they shared it with anyone. 200 00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:44,910 - Good start. - Yeah.Okay. 201 00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:55,310 Oh,man. Hurts.Hurts.Hurts.Hurts. 202 00:08:02,670 --> 00:08:06,070 L.A. women's jail 203 00:08:17,700 --> 00:08:19,330 Hey,don. What's going on? 204 00:08:19,340 --> 00:08:20,710 I got a guy here. 205 00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:21,970 Don't you always? 206 00:08:21,980 --> 00:08:23,780 Yeah,well,he's in booking. 207 00:08:23,790 --> 00:08:25,500 He always gets me in no matter what. 208 00:08:25,510 --> 00:08:27,630 But this time he says it's impossible. 209 00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:29,100 But,don,nothing's impossible. 210 00:08:29,130 --> 00:08:30,815 They got her in a private cell away 211 00:08:30,815 --> 00:08:32,250 from the rest of the prison population, 212 00:08:32,260 --> 00:08:34,340 so,you know,I can't sneak in as a guard. 213 00:08:34,350 --> 00:08:37,900 They're having her meals prepared privately,so catering's out. 214 00:08:37,910 --> 00:08:42,810 And she's in a new uniform,so you can forget about laundry. 215 00:08:42,820 --> 00:08:44,570 Okay,she's in isolation. 216 00:08:44,580 --> 00:08:46,987 Yeah,for her safety,for the safety 217 00:08:46,987 --> 00:08:48,390 of the rest of the prison population. 218 00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:49,290 That's the quote. 219 00:08:49,310 --> 00:08:51,010 Yeah,and bullshit. 220 00:08:53,170 --> 00:08:54,222 Okay,I'm thinking. 221 00:08:55,560 --> 00:08:58,740 Oh,I put cream on my wound last night and this morning. 222 00:08:58,750 --> 00:09:00,925 Oh,yeah,that's good. 223 00:09:02,110 --> 00:09:02,863 Okay,I got it. 224 00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:05,050 Remember that skank from bel air,the one with the 225 00:09:05,050 --> 00:09:07,690 one-hit song who killed her husband with a lawnmower? 226 00:09:07,700 --> 00:09:09,737 You got that great shot when you were on the rooftop 227 00:09:09,737 --> 00:09:11,900 of her coming out of isolation to general population. 228 00:09:11,910 --> 00:09:13,330 Yeah,yeah,yeah,yeah. 229 00:09:13,340 --> 00:09:15,550 - Get in place. - Okay. 230 00:09:15,770 --> 00:09:17,270 Lucy,are they gonna move her? 231 00:09:17,940 --> 00:09:21,010 Someone get me the spokesperson for the jail on the line. 232 00:09:21,020 --> 00:09:22,487 Oh,they're moving her. 233 00:09:22,980 --> 00:09:25,488 They are definitely moving her. 234 00:09:27,870 --> 00:09:30,610 Spokesman for the jail for you,line two. Sam greer. 235 00:09:30,620 --> 00:09:31,840 Thank you. 236 00:09:37,020 --> 00:09:38,240 Sam greer. 237 00:09:38,250 --> 00:09:40,630 Hi,it's lucy spiller over at drrt. 238 00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:42,510 Yes,my people came to me with a story, 239 00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:45,470 and I wanted to give you the courtesy of a call before running it. 240 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:46,737 Yeah,it's about the special treatment 241 00:09:46,737 --> 00:09:49,260 that milan carlton's getting in your jail. 242 00:09:49,270 --> 00:09:52,690 The personal chef,the fresh clothes,special cell. 243 00:09:52,700 --> 00:09:55,425 I hear she has an acupuncturist coming this afternoon. 244 00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:59,440 Okay,well,that may be true,but the rest checks out. 245 00:09:59,450 --> 00:10:01,363 I don't hear you denying the special cell. 246 00:10:03,030 --> 00:10:03,910 Okay,great. 247 00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:06,940 Yeah,get back to me within the hour,and I will hold the story. 248 00:10:06,950 --> 00:10:07,999 Thank you. 249 00:10:09,890 --> 00:10:10,750 Any progress? 250 00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:13,550 Uh,yeah,milan's parents and grandparents have been 251 00:10:13,550 --> 00:10:16,190 major contributors to every major political campaign, 252 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:18,700 local,national,republican,democrat. 253 00:10:18,710 --> 00:10:20,190 Equal opportunity payola. 254 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:23,940 Locally they supported the judges,the da,the mayor. 255 00:10:23,950 --> 00:10:25,280 - That'll get her out. - Yeah. 256 00:10:25,290 --> 00:10:26,520 Well,she's still in. 257 00:10:26,530 --> 00:10:29,150 Yeah,but you have to keep up appearances. 258 00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:31,640 She did plead guilty once. Violated her parole. 259 00:10:31,650 --> 00:10:33,970 It's hard to get out of that,even with political contacts. 260 00:10:33,980 --> 00:10:35,722 I guarantee you,milan will be sleeping 261 00:10:35,722 --> 00:10:38,250 in her own pink,frilly bed tonight. 262 00:10:40,750 --> 00:10:42,620 What,do you not trust my instincts? 263 00:10:42,630 --> 00:10:44,230 No,yeah,I do. 264 00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:45,150 No,you don'T. 265 00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:47,650 No,trust me,I trust you. 266 00:10:48,100 --> 00:10:50,510 All right,how about this? 267 00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:54,250 I give you 100-1 odds that milan carlton is home by midnight. 268 00:10:54,260 --> 00:10:55,640 - I'm sorry? - You heard me. 269 00:10:55,650 --> 00:10:58,472 Milan carlton will not spend this night in jail. 270 00:11:01,430 --> 00:11:02,100 Hey,don. 271 00:11:02,110 --> 00:11:04,080 - 100-1? - Hold on one second. 272 00:11:04,090 --> 00:11:05,960 You're saying that if I put up 100 bucks-- 273 00:11:05,970 --> 00:11:09,000 if she gets out by midnight,I take your 100. 274 00:11:09,010 --> 00:11:12,150 If she spends one second past midnight,I owe you 10 grand. 275 00:11:12,180 --> 00:11:14,050 10 grand. 276 00:11:14,060 --> 00:11:15,550 - How about it? - Yeah.Okay. 277 00:11:15,560 --> 00:11:17,270 You need to learn a lesson. 278 00:11:19,930 --> 00:11:21,100 Are you in place? 279 00:11:21,110 --> 00:11:22,770 Almost. 280 00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:25,760 - Are you alone? - Yeah. 281 00:11:25,770 --> 00:11:27,750 Good. I made the call.It should happen soon. 282 00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:28,720 Okay. 283 00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:36,520 Milan carlton is being moved out of an isolation cell in the tower, 284 00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:38,980 in with the jail's general population. 285 00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:42,450 This is in no way reaction to public pressure. 286 00:11:42,460 --> 00:11:46,460 It's part of normal prisoner intake and processing procedure. 287 00:11:46,470 --> 00:11:49,612 Miss carlton is receiving no special treatment here. 288 00:11:49,740 --> 00:11:51,480 She's an ordinary inmate. 289 00:11:51,490 --> 00:11:53,425 That's the way she's gonna be treated. 290 00:12:23,690 --> 00:12:24,613 Love you. 291 00:12:25,390 --> 00:12:27,113 Ladies and gentlemen,drrt has just 292 00:12:27,113 --> 00:12:29,590 obtained exclusive photos of milan carlton 293 00:12:29,590 --> 00:12:32,597 being transferred to general jail population. 294 00:12:32,990 --> 00:12:36,240 Farber,the bet's still on. She's gonna be out by midnight. 295 00:12:36,250 --> 00:12:38,440 And when she is,I wanna know why. 296 00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:48,760 {\a6}Jimmy Darby Eats Some Pasta 297 00:12:46,390 --> 00:12:48,760 Dad,why are you eating spaghetti on the floor? 298 00:12:48,770 --> 00:12:51,940 I'm petey the dog,and this is my doggie bowl. 299 00:12:52,590 --> 00:12:54,500 It's another jimmy darby clip. 300 00:12:54,510 --> 00:12:57,670 It hit an hour ago. It's already in youtube's top 5. 301 00:12:58,710 --> 00:13:00,120 Makes me feel a lot better about my father. 302 00:13:00,130 --> 00:13:01,590 I'm not drunk! 303 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:04,540 - I'm totally friggin' sober! - You're drunk,dad. 304 00:13:04,550 --> 00:13:06,280 I'm sober! 305 00:13:06,290 --> 00:13:09,490 This is nothing. At least he's not hitting anybody. 306 00:13:09,500 --> 00:13:10,862 Your father hit you? 307 00:13:13,750 --> 00:13:15,980 How pissed is lucy gonna be that I'm behind on this? 308 00:13:15,990 --> 00:13:17,370 Well,it hit an hour ago. 309 00:13:17,380 --> 00:13:18,600 We don't go to press for days. 310 00:13:18,610 --> 00:13:19,610 How are you behind? 311 00:13:19,630 --> 00:13:22,270 I just got a call from darby's ex 312 00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:23,855 saying that she had absolutely 313 00:13:23,855 --> 00:13:25,613 nothing to do with leaking either tape, 314 00:13:25,613 --> 00:13:27,144 and then I got a call from her lawyer giving some 315 00:13:27,144 --> 00:13:29,880 not too subtle threats if we imply that she did. 316 00:13:29,890 --> 00:13:31,370 Well,the ex-wife's a likely suspect. 317 00:13:31,380 --> 00:13:33,100 She's the one with something to gain. 318 00:13:33,110 --> 00:13:35,210 She can't sue for speculation. 319 00:13:35,220 --> 00:13:37,470 You don't know lucy spiller very well,do you? 320 00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:39,530 - Really? - You'll learn. 321 00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:41,425 Hey,where you going? 322 00:13:42,430 --> 00:13:43,941 Back to school. 323 00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:49,880 {\a6}st.Luke's girls school 324 00:13:45,180 --> 00:13:46,550 Thanks so much. 325 00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:47,410 It's always so hard to find your way 326 00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:49,640 around a new school the first week,you know? 327 00:13:49,650 --> 00:13:50,710 Sure. 328 00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:54,080 I hate moving,but,um,my dad just got,like, 329 00:13:54,090 --> 00:13:57,612 indicted at his last job in florida,so here we are. 330 00:13:58,730 --> 00:14:01,500 At least the press isn't camped outside our lawn anymore. 331 00:14:01,510 --> 00:14:02,999 - Sucks. - Totally. 332 00:14:04,570 --> 00:14:06,050 This girl in gym told me that you were 333 00:14:06,050 --> 00:14:08,920 jimmy darby's kid,so you,like,know,right? 334 00:14:08,930 --> 00:14:10,222 She knows enough to spot the difference 335 00:14:10,222 --> 00:14:12,900 between a new junior and an old reporter. 336 00:14:12,910 --> 00:14:13,710 What? 337 00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:15,460 - I'm sorry? - Don't say a word,christa. 338 00:14:15,470 --> 00:14:16,630 She's a reporter. 339 00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:18,300 I just transferred here. 340 00:14:18,310 --> 00:14:20,490 From what,early retirement? 341 00:14:20,500 --> 00:14:22,370 - You're,like,30. - I'm 24. 342 00:14:22,380 --> 00:14:24,960 Whatever. I told you they'd be all over. 343 00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:26,540 Let's have her arrested. 344 00:14:26,550 --> 00:14:28,238 All right,look,I'm really sorry that I lied, 345 00:14:28,238 --> 00:14:30,780 but everybody is doing this story, 346 00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:32,080 and nobody is getting christa's side. 347 00:14:32,090 --> 00:14:34,800 And you're here to do her that favor. 348 00:14:34,810 --> 00:14:37,050 No,I'm just here to get a story. 349 00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:41,060 Look,all I'm saying is that you're caught in the middle. 350 00:14:41,070 --> 00:14:42,425 I mean,your mother's the one that 351 00:14:42,425 --> 00:14:43,450 leaked the tape. It's not your fault. 352 00:14:43,460 --> 00:14:44,810 My mother didn't leak anything. 353 00:14:44,820 --> 00:14:47,780 - No,christa,don'T. - No,I'm sick of it.I really am. 354 00:14:47,790 --> 00:14:51,120 We fired the maid,the handy man,the dog walker. 355 00:14:51,130 --> 00:14:53,870 And,you know,I really,really liked our dog walker. 356 00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:55,675 You people are the ones out there buying 357 00:14:55,675 --> 00:14:58,440 this stuff,tempting people to steal and sell. 358 00:14:58,450 --> 00:15:00,175 I didn't ask for this,okay? 359 00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:03,370 - I'm sorry. - No,you're not. 360 00:15:03,380 --> 00:15:05,230 It's a good story. 361 00:15:05,580 --> 00:15:06,999 You think it's easy growing up with screwed 362 00:15:06,999 --> 00:15:10,560 up parents,being the big online joke at school? 363 00:15:10,900 --> 00:15:12,175 Please,just let me get to my class and 364 00:15:12,175 --> 00:15:14,737 leave me and my messed up family alone. 365 00:15:16,620 --> 00:15:17,560 Got your quote? 366 00:15:17,570 --> 00:15:18,490 Look,I didn't mean to-- 367 00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:20,730 I didn't know about the phone message,but the video? 368 00:15:20,740 --> 00:15:24,490 Christa just thought she could scare her dad straight or whatever. 369 00:15:24,500 --> 00:15:26,160 She borrowed my brother's camera,and totally 370 00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:28,810 deleted everything before she gave it back. 371 00:15:28,820 --> 00:15:31,130 She never intended it to get out. 372 00:15:31,140 --> 00:15:34,300 It was between her and her father. 373 00:15:35,550 --> 00:15:36,300 Period. 374 00:15:47,110 --> 00:15:49,390 Farber,you owe me 100 bucks. 375 00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:50,360 She's getting out? 376 00:15:50,370 --> 00:15:52,480 Undisclosed medical condition. 377 00:15:52,490 --> 00:15:54,240 More like jailophobia. 378 00:15:54,250 --> 00:15:55,340 Pay up. 379 00:15:55,350 --> 00:15:56,950 You're seriously gonna take my 100 bucks? 380 00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:58,990 Only if you don't hand it over willingly. 381 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,630 Oh,come on,like you wouldn't take my 10 grand? 382 00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:02,565 You know,I wasn't gonna take your ten grand. 383 00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:05,200 You needed to learn a lesson. 384 00:16:05,210 --> 00:16:06,880 Trust my instincts. 385 00:16:06,890 --> 00:16:09,160 Best money you ever spent. Come on. 386 00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:10,737 Thank you. 387 00:16:12,930 --> 00:16:15,390 Look at her,all prim and proper. 388 00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:19,080 She went in looking like betty blowjob,and out like laura bush. 389 00:16:19,090 --> 00:16:21,210 You think her mother styled her? 390 00:16:21,220 --> 00:16:23,800 No,she's just as retarded as she is. 391 00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:26,690 No,that's the work of a pro. 392 00:16:26,700 --> 00:16:28,960 Farber,find out who all went to see her in jail. 393 00:16:28,970 --> 00:16:31,190 I find out who styled her,can I win back my hundred? 394 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:31,999 No. 395 00:16:35,250 --> 00:16:36,790 Nice knee socks. 396 00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:37,680 Have anything? 397 00:16:37,690 --> 00:16:39,280 Yeah,I got a great quote from the daughter. 398 00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:40,300 Maybe something from the friend. 399 00:16:40,310 --> 00:16:42,140 - Okay,I want to know who released the tape- - and why. 400 00:16:42,150 --> 00:16:43,510 Yeah,I might have a lead. 401 00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:45,090 Have it by recess. 402 00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:49,237 Do I look 30? 403 00:16:50,290 --> 00:16:52,737 Not in a catholic school girl uniform,you don'T. 404 00:16:53,100 --> 00:16:55,650 - Wait,do you want to? - What? 405 00:17:12,590 --> 00:17:14,160 I thought we weren't talking 406 00:17:14,170 --> 00:17:18,240 Uh, we're not.I'm just callingto congratulate you. 407 00:17:19,390 --> 00:17:21,140 What, is this an interview? 408 00:17:21,150 --> 00:17:23,780 Milan carlton's pretty much taking over the whole issue. 409 00:17:23,790 --> 00:17:25,390 Lucky you, I don't need a quote. 410 00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:27,999 But, unfortunately,it also means that your pr 411 00:17:27,999 --> 00:17:30,250 play outside the club won't make it into print, 412 00:17:30,260 --> 00:17:32,990 which is really too bad because that was well played. 413 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:34,581 I didn't play anything. 414 00:17:35,390 --> 00:17:36,950 Come on, that wasn't a pr move, 415 00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:38,675 I just said whatI felt, you know? 416 00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:40,253 Okay. 417 00:17:42,060 --> 00:17:44,670 I wouldn't expect you to believe me, lucy. 418 00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:45,628 Good. 419 00:17:54,290 --> 00:17:57,503 but you know,one thing I've learned... 420 00:17:59,430 --> 00:18:02,610 the more energy you put in to being angry with others, 421 00:18:02,620 --> 00:18:04,600 the less you have to face yourself,so... 422 00:18:04,610 --> 00:18:06,930 are you going to therapy now? 423 00:18:07,780 --> 00:18:09,159 Maybe. 424 00:18:11,330 --> 00:18:13,285 Well,let's just hope you can trust him. 425 00:18:16,180 --> 00:18:18,670 Well,I gotta catch a flight. 426 00:18:18,690 --> 00:18:19,780 Okay. 427 00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:21,330 Have a great trip. 428 00:18:21,340 --> 00:18:23,340 You,too. 429 00:18:23,350 --> 00:18:24,612 I mean... 430 00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:27,800 thank you. 431 00:18:28,720 --> 00:18:29,410 Bye. 432 00:18:35,870 --> 00:18:37,675 How long have you been standing there? 433 00:18:39,100 --> 00:18:41,860 I brought you the pictures of milan in jail. 434 00:18:41,870 --> 00:18:44,390 Also her getting out. 435 00:18:44,970 --> 00:18:46,090 It's been quite a day. 436 00:18:46,100 --> 00:18:47,050 Yeah. 437 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,190 How's holt? 438 00:18:49,770 --> 00:18:51,425 On the phone just now. 439 00:18:52,290 --> 00:18:53,990 How do you know I was talking to holt? 440 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,238 Body language. 441 00:18:55,870 --> 00:18:59,070 My body languages says I'm talking to holt right now. 442 00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:00,580 Before,on the phone. 443 00:19:00,590 --> 00:19:03,850 Now it just says you don't know where to put your elbows. 444 00:19:03,860 --> 00:19:06,860 Well,they're attached to my forearms. Let's not read too much into it. 445 00:19:06,870 --> 00:19:09,810 Okay,but if you don't want people to know about you two... 446 00:19:09,820 --> 00:19:11,290 Don't do that when you're talking to him. 447 00:19:11,300 --> 00:19:13,130 Don't do what? 448 00:19:13,140 --> 00:19:14,660 What-- don,I wasn't doing anything. 449 00:19:14,670 --> 00:19:16,390 Okay,I was not doing that. 450 00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:17,980 Okay,now I don't know what to do with my forearms. 451 00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:19,090 - Sorry. - Okay. 452 00:19:19,100 --> 00:19:21,190 Is this all you have of her coming out of jail? 453 00:19:21,500 --> 00:19:22,620 Yeah. 454 00:19:22,630 --> 00:19:23,730 Looks like mother theresa. 455 00:19:23,740 --> 00:19:25,190 It's the outfit. 456 00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:26,550 Light blue and white. 457 00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:27,850 Like mother theresa. 458 00:19:27,860 --> 00:19:30,380 All right,get 'em to art. 459 00:19:30,390 --> 00:19:32,260 Okay. 460 00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:41,660 Even the network news is recycling the milan story. 461 00:19:41,670 --> 00:19:43,740 So much for covering the bombings in iraq. 462 00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:44,810 - Hey,farber. - Yeah? 463 00:19:44,820 --> 00:19:46,880 She going back to jail or not? 464 00:19:46,890 --> 00:19:47,780 Wanna lay odds? 465 00:19:47,790 --> 00:19:49,240 Uh,I don't know. 466 00:19:49,250 --> 00:19:50,780 You're smart. You're learning. 467 00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:52,710 - Visitors? - Yeah,her mother and her lawyers. 468 00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:54,840 No red flags,but I'm still working on it. 469 00:19:54,850 --> 00:19:55,940 All right,find something good. 470 00:19:55,950 --> 00:19:57,040 They may just have to have her back. 471 00:19:57,050 --> 00:20:00,700 Hey,lucy,we got milan carlton on line three. 472 00:20:00,710 --> 00:20:02,370 - Her publicist? - Her. 473 00:20:02,380 --> 00:20:07,050 She said she wants to speak to you directly. Yeah. 474 00:20:10,260 --> 00:20:12,330 Thank you for taking my call. 475 00:20:12,340 --> 00:20:15,280 Always happy to talk to one of our biggest sellers. 476 00:20:15,290 --> 00:20:18,210 All that circulation,and I don't make anything out of it. 477 00:20:18,230 --> 00:20:20,030 Something tells me you do okay. 478 00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:21,630 Not this week. 479 00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:23,320 There's a few things I'd like to clear up, 480 00:20:23,330 --> 00:20:26,850 and I was thinking about doing an interview with your magazine. 481 00:20:26,860 --> 00:20:27,840 Of course. 482 00:20:27,850 --> 00:20:29,190 I'd like to meet you in person. 483 00:20:29,210 --> 00:20:30,620 Can we arrange that? 484 00:20:30,650 --> 00:20:32,598 I wish I could come to you,but 485 00:20:32,727 --> 00:20:35,081 I'm kind of under a bit of house arrest here. 486 00:20:35,090 --> 00:20:36,990 I'll come to you. 487 00:20:37,510 --> 00:20:38,760 Fabo. 488 00:20:38,770 --> 00:20:42,240 I'll have my guy call your guy,okay? Ciao. 489 00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:45,910 Fabo. 490 00:21:04,950 --> 00:21:08,880 the carlton mansion 491 00:21:36,850 --> 00:21:38,110 lucy spiller. 492 00:21:38,170 --> 00:21:39,720 Thank you so much for coming. 493 00:21:39,750 --> 00:21:41,500 Can mariella get you something to drink? 494 00:21:41,510 --> 00:21:42,230 Fuzzy water? 495 00:21:42,250 --> 00:21:43,490 Oh,I'm good. 496 00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:44,630 Bring her some fuzzy water. 497 00:21:44,670 --> 00:21:46,210 Lemon or lime? 498 00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:48,270 Bring her both. 499 00:21:48,590 --> 00:21:49,950 You remember my boyfriend ian. 500 00:21:49,980 --> 00:21:51,020 hi 501 00:21:51,540 --> 00:21:53,900 Yeah,right,I know your work. 502 00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:54,630 Sit. 503 00:21:54,660 --> 00:21:56,910 I'm sorry that we have to meet in here. 504 00:21:56,950 --> 00:21:59,190 Can't use my outdoor pool anymore because of the paps. 505 00:21:59,230 --> 00:22:00,870 Oh,how awful. 506 00:22:01,700 --> 00:22:03,580 I know. I know. 507 00:22:03,620 --> 00:22:05,340 Poor little rich girl. 508 00:22:05,380 --> 00:22:07,420 But you know,everything I have,I've earned. 509 00:22:07,450 --> 00:22:09,382 Yeah,well,somehow I doubt that 510 00:22:09,471 --> 00:22:12,116 catalogue shoots and a reality show paid for all this. 511 00:22:12,730 --> 00:22:14,710 Well,I also have a recording deal. 512 00:22:14,740 --> 00:22:16,450 Oh,right. 513 00:22:17,630 --> 00:22:18,510 Why are we talking about this? 514 00:22:18,550 --> 00:22:19,470 That's not why you're here. 515 00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:20,780 Why am I here? 516 00:22:20,820 --> 00:22:22,620 Everyone knows that drrt hates me. 517 00:22:22,660 --> 00:22:25,734 The articles about my weight,my feud with meggie 518 00:22:25,735 --> 00:22:27,877 that you think I'm stupid,the dui. 519 00:22:27,912 --> 00:22:30,650 We never said anything about your weight. 520 00:22:31,460 --> 00:22:33,080 The point is,you hate me. 521 00:22:33,130 --> 00:22:34,400 It's fine. 522 00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:37,900 That's why I want you to have the interview. 523 00:22:38,290 --> 00:22:41,100 Because everybody will believe it. 524 00:22:41,430 --> 00:22:42,960 It won't feel like spin. 525 00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:45,110 So I'm here to give you credibility. 526 00:22:45,170 --> 00:22:49,220 Well,that,and score the hottest celebrity interview of the decade. 527 00:22:49,270 --> 00:22:50,270 The big scoop. 528 00:22:50,300 --> 00:22:50,860 Yeah? 529 00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:53,020 My medical condition. 530 00:22:53,590 --> 00:22:55,450 I'm pregnant. 531 00:22:56,130 --> 00:22:57,290 We're having a baby. 532 00:22:57,330 --> 00:22:59,010 Congratulations. 533 00:22:59,050 --> 00:23:01,510 But why does that mean you can't be in jail? 534 00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:05,010 Is the county going to release all pregnant women from jail? 535 00:23:05,110 --> 00:23:06,980 Because I have a condition. 536 00:23:07,020 --> 00:23:08,860 It's called hyper...em... 537 00:23:08,890 --> 00:23:10,340 hyperemesis. 538 00:23:10,370 --> 00:23:11,080 It's real. 539 00:23:11,110 --> 00:23:12,400 They had to let her out. 540 00:23:12,430 --> 00:23:14,660 For the welfare of our unborn child. 541 00:23:14,700 --> 00:23:18,920 Who has already totally changed both our lives. 542 00:23:20,070 --> 00:23:21,780 We don't have to bother with all the details here. 543 00:23:21,810 --> 00:23:23,850 I've made your job very easy. 544 00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:25,240 Here's the entire interview. 545 00:23:25,270 --> 00:23:28,390 Questions,answers,and I had it typed up. 546 00:23:28,430 --> 00:23:32,650 It's free,it's exclusive,and your job is completely done. 547 00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:35,630 Obviously a huge story for you. 548 00:23:35,650 --> 00:23:36,770 You're welcome. 549 00:23:36,810 --> 00:23:39,310 Hyperemesis. Isn't that basically morning sickness? 550 00:23:39,330 --> 00:23:42,090 Hey,women die from it every year. 551 00:23:42,130 --> 00:23:43,290 The baby was at risk. 552 00:23:43,310 --> 00:23:45,460 We had to protect the welfare-- 553 00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:48,170 welfare of our unborn child. 554 00:23:48,390 --> 00:23:49,850 We have a doctor's note. 555 00:23:49,890 --> 00:23:52,370 Oh,a celebrity with a doctor's note. Yeah. 556 00:23:52,380 --> 00:23:54,750 I'm offering you a major interview here. 557 00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:56,540 You're offering me a hand job. 558 00:23:56,550 --> 00:23:59,120 This isn't an interview,it's a press release. 559 00:23:59,130 --> 00:24:00,620 Do you want to do an interview? 560 00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:01,820 Let's talk. 561 00:24:01,860 --> 00:24:05,580 'Cause I'm not gonna publish some pr person's q&A. 562 00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:11,020 You know,when I was in high school, 563 00:24:11,030 --> 00:24:14,150 I used to drive by the big gates of your parents' house. 564 00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:17,020 It was so huge. 565 00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:18,397 I used to think whoever lives inside, 566 00:24:18,398 --> 00:24:20,360 they must have anything they want. 567 00:24:20,390 --> 00:24:22,610 They can be anything they want. 568 00:24:22,620 --> 00:24:24,470 What did you choose to be? 569 00:24:24,500 --> 00:24:26,640 A celebutante? 570 00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:29,374 I worked my ass off to become a star. 571 00:24:30,530 --> 00:24:32,673 You're not a singer,you're not an actress, 572 00:24:32,674 --> 00:24:34,941 you've never worked a day in your life. 573 00:24:34,970 --> 00:24:36,960 You're a little spoiled brat who goes clubbing. 574 00:24:36,980 --> 00:24:38,200 That's all you've ever achieved. 575 00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:39,454 Oh,that and going up an off-ramp 576 00:24:39,455 --> 00:24:42,520 after having one too many chocolatinis. 577 00:24:42,540 --> 00:24:44,620 You think I'm just some party girl. 578 00:24:44,630 --> 00:24:45,940 I am a brand. 579 00:24:45,970 --> 00:24:47,830 I created a brand. 580 00:24:47,860 --> 00:24:48,990 You think I'm nothing? 581 00:24:49,030 --> 00:24:50,010 Okay. 582 00:24:50,050 --> 00:24:51,991 Think about how hard it is to turn nothing 583 00:24:51,992 --> 00:24:55,581 into a major brand,a clothing line,fragrances,makeup. 584 00:24:55,610 --> 00:24:57,410 You can call me a slut or a whore or anything else, 585 00:24:57,450 --> 00:25:00,830 but never say I don't work hard for what I have. 586 00:25:01,410 --> 00:25:03,350 Now there's a quote. 587 00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:09,730 I'll just say that you admitted you hate me and that you're biased. 588 00:25:10,390 --> 00:25:12,220 You don't want my q&a? Fine. 589 00:25:12,230 --> 00:25:13,840 I'll go to icon. 590 00:25:13,870 --> 00:25:15,220 Do as you want. 591 00:25:15,230 --> 00:25:17,340 I already have my story. 592 00:25:26,350 --> 00:25:29,070 You bought a used video camera for $2,000? 593 00:25:29,090 --> 00:25:31,030 Well,it's digital. 594 00:25:31,610 --> 00:25:33,670 No,this isn't just any video camera. 595 00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:37,970 This is christa darby's best friend's brother's video camera. 596 00:25:38,010 --> 00:25:39,830 The one she shot her father's drunk tape on. 597 00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:40,690 The kid was 12. 598 00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:43,410 You should've seen his face when I gave him the cash. 599 00:25:43,420 --> 00:25:46,900 Well,I thought you said she deleted everything before she gave it back. 600 00:25:46,910 --> 00:25:49,160 Oh,dear,sweet geek boy. 601 00:25:49,190 --> 00:25:51,180 You have so much to learn. 602 00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:54,300 Video camera hard drives are just like computer hard drives. 603 00:25:54,330 --> 00:25:57,690 You can erase them,but the data is still locked in the code. 604 00:25:57,730 --> 00:25:59,360 And you know how to get that? 605 00:25:59,400 --> 00:26:02,510 Well,no,but varsha in it did. 606 00:26:02,540 --> 00:26:05,630 It seems that little christa did some editing. 607 00:26:05,670 --> 00:26:07,930 Check out the original footage. 608 00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:12,890 Wait,do petey. Pretend to be petey. 609 00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:17,470 I'm petey the dog,and this is my dog bowl. 610 00:26:19,570 --> 00:26:21,420 Do the drunk guy,dad. Do the drunk guy. 611 00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:23,250 Okay,drunk. 612 00:26:23,470 --> 00:26:25,070 I'm not drunk! 613 00:26:25,090 --> 00:26:27,520 I'm totally friggin' sober! 614 00:26:27,540 --> 00:26:28,320 He wasn't drunk. 615 00:26:28,360 --> 00:26:29,540 I'm sober! I'm sober! 616 00:26:29,580 --> 00:26:32,040 Well,not as much as he seemed,anyway. 617 00:26:32,050 --> 00:26:33,393 See,the key to playing a 618 00:26:33,593 --> 00:26:37,781 drunk is you gotta try really,really hard to act sober. 619 00:26:37,810 --> 00:26:39,870 It was the daughter? 620 00:26:39,950 --> 00:26:40,900 Why? 621 00:26:40,930 --> 00:26:42,746 Well,do you remember that quote she gave me 622 00:26:42,747 --> 00:26:45,071 when I was interviewing her at school? 623 00:26:45,110 --> 00:26:48,320 Um,"do you think it's easy growing up with parents this screwed up?" 624 00:26:48,360 --> 00:26:51,530 She seemed so upset,but the quote was perfect. 625 00:26:51,540 --> 00:26:54,020 She knew that I would bite at it. 626 00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:56,073 Check this out,this is the reality show 627 00:26:56,074 --> 00:26:58,331 that christa darby pitched six months ago. 628 00:27:01,731 --> 00:27:01,731 ,but nobody was interested. 629 00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:04,680 One exec said that she didn't have a hook. 630 00:27:04,690 --> 00:27:06,850 So now that she's famous,she's trying to resell the show? 631 00:27:06,860 --> 00:27:07,950 Oh,no,even better. 632 00:27:08,010 --> 00:27:10,550 This time it's parent 911. 633 00:27:10,570 --> 00:27:11,370 It's genius. 634 00:27:11,410 --> 00:27:13,120 She's gonna help kids with problem parents. 635 00:27:13,140 --> 00:27:14,840 Yup,live on the air. 636 00:27:14,860 --> 00:27:15,850 Secret deal is already in the works. 637 00:27:15,890 --> 00:27:17,460 They're gonna announce it any day now. 638 00:27:17,500 --> 00:27:19,130 Making a brand out of nothing. 639 00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:21,330 Hey,uh,lucy,sorry. 640 00:27:21,340 --> 00:27:23,590 Milan's interview is on. 641 00:27:24,970 --> 00:27:28,560 I clearly was not okay to drive that night. 642 00:27:28,660 --> 00:27:31,610 I just thank god that I didn't hurt anyone. 643 00:27:31,650 --> 00:27:34,490 Some people might find it hard to believe that 644 00:27:34,500 --> 00:27:38,160 god has become an important part of your life. 645 00:27:40,330 --> 00:27:42,690 I did a lot of stupid things when I was young. 646 00:27:42,710 --> 00:27:44,120 What,like last week? 647 00:27:44,140 --> 00:27:46,360 Ian has taught me about the bible. 648 00:27:46,390 --> 00:27:50,610 That whatever other people think,god can forgive. (My god,she's got him dressed like a banker.) 649 00:27:50,650 --> 00:27:53,470 God has blessed us with a child. 650 00:27:54,950 --> 00:27:56,210 It's time to grow up. 651 00:27:56,250 --> 00:27:57,220 Great. 652 00:27:57,260 --> 00:28:01,580 We can go with how she tried to sell the same crap to you. 653 00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:03,300 Those are words. 654 00:28:03,330 --> 00:28:04,440 We're in a world of images, 655 00:28:04,460 --> 00:28:08,358 and right now the image is of milan and her mother theresa colors 656 00:28:08,359 --> 00:28:11,311 praising god to tami G. 657 00:28:12,810 --> 00:28:14,590 I want to meet with jimmy darby tonight. 658 00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:16,330 My house. 659 00:28:17,060 --> 00:28:19,350 okay. 660 00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:31,556 See,the key to playing a drunk is 661 00:28:31,557 --> 00:28:35,571 you gotta try really,really hard to act sober. 662 00:28:35,620 --> 00:28:36,950 That's okay. 663 00:28:36,980 --> 00:28:38,610 All right. 664 00:28:38,670 --> 00:28:41,180 Why didn't you just come out with the truth? 665 00:28:41,460 --> 00:28:42,650 She's not wrong. 666 00:28:42,690 --> 00:28:44,840 I was drinking that night. 667 00:28:44,900 --> 00:28:49,280 Your daughter dubbed lines to make it look like you thought you were a dog. 668 00:28:49,290 --> 00:28:50,760 That doesn't bother you? 669 00:28:50,770 --> 00:28:53,920 Did you hear that horrible voicemail I left her? 670 00:28:53,930 --> 00:28:55,930 Don't you think I deserve some bad press? 671 00:28:55,940 --> 00:28:57,460 And she needed some good press. 672 00:28:57,470 --> 00:28:58,670 To sell her show. 673 00:28:58,680 --> 00:29:00,300 Wait a minute. 674 00:29:00,310 --> 00:29:01,450 You're talking about my kid. 675 00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:04,610 Yeah,who stepped on your head to get what she wants. 676 00:29:06,930 --> 00:29:11,180 Listen,I haven't been a great father. 677 00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:14,190 You don't have kids,do you? 678 00:29:14,230 --> 00:29:15,670 No. 679 00:29:15,830 --> 00:29:17,960 Do you want 'em? 680 00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:22,710 Okay,we're not here to talk about me,are we? 681 00:29:22,750 --> 00:29:24,590 I guess not. 682 00:29:24,980 --> 00:29:27,140 Listen,I'm not evil. 683 00:29:27,220 --> 00:29:30,300 But I wasn't there enough for her. 684 00:29:30,310 --> 00:29:31,820 And I do drink sometimes. 685 00:29:31,830 --> 00:29:33,040 And I get real pissed off. 686 00:29:33,060 --> 00:29:34,810 And I break shit. 687 00:29:34,820 --> 00:29:38,009 So if my kid wants to make a show that helps other kids 688 00:29:38,096 --> 00:29:40,391 deal with their crazy families, 689 00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:42,210 then I think it's a good thing. 690 00:29:42,230 --> 00:29:43,580 Even if it's based on a lie? 691 00:29:43,610 --> 00:29:44,617 It won't be a lie because 692 00:29:44,618 --> 00:29:47,591 I'm gonna tell everybody it was my idea to do that,okay? 693 00:29:47,620 --> 00:29:49,840 That I told her to do it,that I made her do it. 694 00:29:49,870 --> 00:29:50,600 It'll never sell. 695 00:29:50,630 --> 00:29:52,790 It's my daughter. 696 00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:58,990 She's 15,and she might have something here. You know? 697 00:29:59,030 --> 00:30:00,980 It's her shot. 698 00:30:01,350 --> 00:30:04,630 Don't you think that maybe you and i could work out something else? 699 00:30:04,660 --> 00:30:06,550 Why don't you just keep hammering me? 700 00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:08,800 I mean,I'm an asshole. 701 00:30:08,830 --> 00:30:10,640 I'm a terrible father. 702 00:30:10,670 --> 00:30:13,140 Just keep roasting me. 703 00:30:13,150 --> 00:30:16,420 I just need for you to promise that you'll leave her alone. 704 00:30:20,010 --> 00:30:23,560 If you give me a bigger story,I will bury this one. 705 00:30:23,580 --> 00:30:25,180 Okay. 706 00:30:26,690 --> 00:30:29,090 Milan carlton. 707 00:30:29,790 --> 00:30:31,520 She was a guest star on your show,right? 708 00:30:31,550 --> 00:30:33,940 The holiday special? Right? 709 00:30:33,950 --> 00:30:36,270 Okay,I want you to call her up. 710 00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:38,795 I want you to tell her that you're having a really hard time 711 00:30:38,796 --> 00:30:40,521 with all this bad press you're getting, 712 00:30:40,540 --> 00:30:41,876 and it's just gonna get worse, 713 00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:45,501 and you need the name of her crisis pr person. 714 00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:49,140 Not her regular guy,her specialist. 715 00:30:49,170 --> 00:30:50,710 Okay. 716 00:30:50,780 --> 00:30:54,110 I'll call her,and I'll get his name. 717 00:30:54,170 --> 00:30:57,560 But I gotta tell you,there's no way in hell 718 00:30:57,685 --> 00:31:02,821 her crisis pr manager is gonna go on record with you. 719 00:31:02,830 --> 00:31:06,190 That's okay,I just need his name. 720 00:31:06,210 --> 00:31:07,930 Done. 721 00:31:09,990 --> 00:31:13,110 dillon frawley+assoc P.R. Manger 722 00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:17,500 We know milan is using a crisis pr guru named dillon frawley. 723 00:31:17,510 --> 00:31:19,510 Obviously,he's not gonna talk. 724 00:31:19,520 --> 00:31:22,010 We need to find a way to get inside. 725 00:31:57,560 --> 00:31:59,400 What you looking at? 726 00:32:02,170 --> 00:32:04,470 Yeah,you should look away. 727 00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:07,490 You little rat,ya. 728 00:32:13,870 --> 00:32:15,460 Bye. 729 00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:19,270 you know what? Let's talk about wardrobe and makeup later,'cause-- 730 00:32:19,310 --> 00:32:20,530 I know how to dress little miss priss. 731 00:32:20,540 --> 00:32:22,870 Let's just go over the interview,okay? 732 00:32:22,880 --> 00:32:24,660 Fine. I'm tami G. 733 00:32:24,670 --> 00:32:28,450 Milan,you've already been convicted of one driving under the influence. 734 00:32:28,470 --> 00:32:30,060 Now you've been arrested a second time. 735 00:32:30,070 --> 00:32:32,530 Why should you not go to jail? 736 00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:33,900 We're not gonna let her ask that. 737 00:32:33,930 --> 00:32:35,280 You want her to ask that. 738 00:32:35,310 --> 00:32:38,510 You want to answer the tough questions,or at least seem to,okay? 739 00:32:38,550 --> 00:32:40,470 So,why should you not go to jail? 740 00:32:40,500 --> 00:32:42,960 Well,first of all,I only had one glass of wine. 741 00:32:42,980 --> 00:32:46,000 - And that on-ramp was barely marked. I mean-- - no. no. no. 742 00:32:46,010 --> 00:32:48,910 This is your answer. Watch. 743 00:32:48,950 --> 00:32:51,800 I clearly was not okay to drive that night. 744 00:32:51,840 --> 00:32:55,380 I thank god nobody got hurt. Yeah? 745 00:32:55,410 --> 00:32:58,220 I'm gonna thank god? Screw god. 746 00:32:58,250 --> 00:33:00,310 No,honey,you can screw god off camera. 747 00:33:00,320 --> 00:33:01,740 But on camera,trust me. 748 00:33:01,750 --> 00:33:04,200 God is gonna set you free. 749 00:33:04,510 --> 00:33:05,670 Listen to me. 750 00:33:05,710 --> 00:33:07,686 You hired me so that I can tell you 751 00:33:07,687 --> 00:33:09,486 how to get the public back on your side. 752 00:33:10,670 --> 00:33:12,260 It's a christian nation. 753 00:33:12,270 --> 00:33:13,600 You want forgiveness? 754 00:33:13,650 --> 00:33:17,160 Admit your sins,turn it over to god. 755 00:33:21,790 --> 00:33:25,280 I clearly was not okay to drive that night. 756 00:33:26,650 --> 00:33:28,810 I just thank god I didn't hurt anyone. 757 00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:31,520 Nice. Very nice. Now watch. 758 00:33:35,250 --> 00:33:36,900 Screw god. 759 00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:38,480 That's our cover. 760 00:33:40,480 --> 00:33:44,800 lucy,the camera's hard drive,where did we get it? 761 00:33:44,830 --> 00:33:46,130 Sorry? 762 00:33:46,140 --> 00:33:50,150 Just if anybody sues or whatever,you know, 763 00:33:50,151 --> 00:33:52,491 I'd rather not go to jail. 764 00:33:52,500 --> 00:33:55,260 Don,I always look out for you. 765 00:33:55,280 --> 00:33:56,920 I know. 766 00:33:57,580 --> 00:34:00,220 I got it from some disgruntled worker. 767 00:34:00,240 --> 00:34:05,230 Could be secretarial,could be cleaning crew. 768 00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:06,810 I'll cover you. 769 00:34:06,820 --> 00:34:08,630 Besides,we're printing the truth. 770 00:34:08,670 --> 00:34:11,790 They won't sue us because it'll just make them look worse. 771 00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:13,100 Okay. 772 00:34:17,170 --> 00:34:19,390 You're doing good,don. 773 00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:21,190 I'm proud of you. 774 00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:22,840 Thank you. 775 00:34:23,930 --> 00:34:28,190 I think I figured out why you hate milan so much. 776 00:34:28,450 --> 00:34:30,080 She's you. 777 00:34:30,330 --> 00:34:31,980 I just gave you a really nice compliment. 778 00:34:32,010 --> 00:34:33,660 She's all of us. 779 00:34:33,690 --> 00:34:36,150 See,we're a nation of spoiled rich people. 780 00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:40,840 Milan's just so extreme that it makes us feel better by comparison. 781 00:34:40,850 --> 00:34:45,690 But really,she's just the part of ourselves we loathe. 782 00:34:45,770 --> 00:34:47,560 That's why we need her. 783 00:34:47,600 --> 00:34:50,690 Make us feel better,that's her job. 784 00:34:50,700 --> 00:34:53,060 Well,she can't say the job doesn't pay well. 785 00:34:53,070 --> 00:34:55,150 I don't think it makes her happy. 786 00:34:55,310 --> 00:34:58,160 Well,if you think she's unhappy now,wait till she sees my next cover. 787 00:34:58,180 --> 00:34:58,880 Yeah. 788 00:34:58,920 --> 00:35:01,060 Lucy... 789 00:35:02,830 --> 00:35:07,360 holt was on the pr guy's camera,too. 790 00:35:08,580 --> 00:35:09,950 That little speech outside the club? 791 00:35:09,960 --> 00:35:11,690 No,no,no. 792 00:35:11,700 --> 00:35:12,370 Is it a story? 793 00:35:12,410 --> 00:35:13,480 I didn't look. 794 00:35:13,490 --> 00:35:16,330 I saw that he was on there,I didn't watch. 795 00:35:16,370 --> 00:35:19,000 I figured it was up to you. 796 00:35:20,660 --> 00:35:22,530 Okay. Thanks. 797 00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:24,340 - All right? - Thanks. 798 00:35:24,350 --> 00:35:26,090 Okay. 799 00:35:29,290 --> 00:35:31,210 - Good night. - Good night. 800 00:36:03,280 --> 00:36:05,120 You want to humanize,you know? 801 00:36:05,160 --> 00:36:06,850 You wanna focus on the people. 802 00:36:06,880 --> 00:36:10,530 Julia was a real person with a family and a brother-- 803 00:36:10,540 --> 00:36:11,720 she didn't have a brother. 804 00:36:11,750 --> 00:36:13,450 Sister. Right. 805 00:36:13,460 --> 00:36:15,370 You know what? Let's try it. 806 00:36:15,390 --> 00:36:16,760 Watch. 807 00:36:17,760 --> 00:36:22,130 To you julia mallory is a tabloid story. 808 00:36:22,170 --> 00:36:24,156 But she was also a real person, 809 00:36:24,281 --> 00:36:28,001 with a mother and a father and a sister. 810 00:36:32,770 --> 00:36:34,840 All right,julia wasn't just a tabloid story. 811 00:36:34,880 --> 00:36:37,360 Nice,but open your arms. You wanna be accessible. 812 00:36:37,370 --> 00:36:41,430 - What-- no,no,just-- - you know what,forget it. This isn't working. 813 00:36:41,450 --> 00:36:42,560 No,no,you know what? I know it's hard. 814 00:36:42,590 --> 00:36:43,700 It's awkward,but you gotta trust-- 815 00:36:43,720 --> 00:36:47,230 no,listen,you don't get it 'cause I don't give a shit. 816 00:36:48,740 --> 00:36:49,880 - All right? - Come on. 817 00:36:49,890 --> 00:36:52,930 Look,dude,I don't want to be molded. 818 00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:56,460 You know,I'm just gonna let the chips fall. 819 00:36:56,470 --> 00:36:57,550 Sorry for your time. 820 00:36:57,580 --> 00:36:59,640 I'll pay you. 821 00:37:09,840 --> 00:37:12,130 I wish you could've been there,buddy. 822 00:37:12,910 --> 00:37:16,010 Man,there were so many rats,you could've dined out for weeks. 823 00:37:21,540 --> 00:37:24,440 I miss having our little chats,man. 824 00:37:24,780 --> 00:37:26,510 I do. 825 00:37:28,100 --> 00:37:32,880 Please,please,please,I have something very important to say,shh. 826 00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:36,720 I will be going to the far east to do some charity work, 827 00:37:36,760 --> 00:37:39,810 which is the one thing that will keep me sane. 828 00:37:39,830 --> 00:37:41,912 With everything so negative here, 829 00:37:42,503 --> 00:37:44,691 I can do something positive there. 830 00:37:45,430 --> 00:37:48,360 Where people aren't out to hurt you. 831 00:37:49,770 --> 00:37:52,630 Maybe they'll appreciate me. 832 00:37:53,090 --> 00:37:53,640 Thank you. 833 00:37:53,670 --> 00:37:54,420 Milan? 834 00:37:54,450 --> 00:37:56,790 Milan? 835 00:38:01,580 --> 00:38:02,910 Hi,I'm christa darby. 836 00:38:02,950 --> 00:38:05,410 Tune in to parent 911 starting next month. 837 00:38:05,430 --> 00:38:07,850 I'll even have my own dad with me for my first show. 838 00:38:07,880 --> 00:38:09,980 And,wow,we've had some issues,haven't we? 839 00:38:09,990 --> 00:38:11,640 We have? 840 00:38:11,680 --> 00:38:13,880 I don't recall. 841 00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:18,080 You know the irony? 842 00:38:18,440 --> 00:38:19,280 It was all true. 843 00:38:19,320 --> 00:38:22,253 I mean,everything he said on that first voicemail message. 844 00:38:23,370 --> 00:38:26,090 His daughter is selfish and hollow. 845 00:38:26,100 --> 00:38:29,370 Well,at least she came by it honestly. 846 00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:31,810 Um,do you want dinner? I was gonna get some chinese. 847 00:38:31,860 --> 00:38:33,500 In la? 848 00:38:33,530 --> 00:38:35,520 Well,I know this place on pico. 849 00:38:35,550 --> 00:38:37,000 Really? 850 00:38:41,730 --> 00:38:43,620 I can'T. 851 00:38:43,650 --> 00:38:47,710 It's past ten,and liz will kill me if I go out to dinner 852 00:38:47,711 --> 00:38:50,181 with somebody else instead of coming straight home. 853 00:38:52,220 --> 00:38:54,190 I wasn't asking you out,farber. 854 00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:57,250 I'm working late,ordering in. 855 00:38:57,270 --> 00:38:58,840 Uh,I know. 856 00:38:58,860 --> 00:38:59,920 Sorry. 857 00:38:59,970 --> 00:39:05,060 Well...your girlfriend is one lucky woman. 858 00:39:05,090 --> 00:39:06,290 Thanks. 859 00:39:06,300 --> 00:39:08,550 I wish she would say that. 860 00:39:10,030 --> 00:39:12,950 I was being facetious. 861 00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:33,870 Hello? 862 00:39:33,900 --> 00:39:35,830 Oh,hey,lucy. 863 00:39:35,860 --> 00:39:37,380 Were you sleeping? 864 00:39:37,420 --> 00:39:39,440 It's three in the morning. 865 00:39:39,470 --> 00:39:42,140 You seem to be sleeping a lot better since you got stabbed. 866 00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:44,740 It almost makes it worth it,huh? 867 00:39:44,770 --> 00:39:46,700 It's good to sleep. 868 00:39:47,600 --> 00:39:49,730 And yet,you're calling at 3 am. 869 00:39:49,780 --> 00:39:51,490 Well,milan carlton's on tv. 870 00:39:51,530 --> 00:39:53,530 I thought you oughta know. 871 00:39:56,970 --> 00:39:59,040 Thanks,honey. 872 00:40:05,690 --> 00:40:07,440 Was stopped by authorities when she took 873 00:40:07,441 --> 00:40:08,961 time out from her christian relief work 874 00:40:08,970 --> 00:40:11,023 to go topless on a beach in a nation 875 00:40:11,024 --> 00:40:12,811 where public nudity is illegal. 876 00:40:12,840 --> 00:40:14,220 When police went through her handbag, 877 00:40:14,250 --> 00:40:17,726 they found a gram of cocaine in the socialite's makeup compact. 878 00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:21,130 The country has a zero-tolerance policy for drugs, 879 00:40:21,140 --> 00:40:24,599 and the penalty for possession of cocaine is death. 880 00:40:26,040 --> 00:40:27,720 Lucy,are they really gonna execute her? 881 00:40:27,770 --> 00:40:29,770 I already mocked up a "milan gets the needle" cover. 882 00:40:29,800 --> 00:40:30,870 Well,actually,it would be a hanging. 883 00:40:30,890 --> 00:40:31,970 Or a firing squad. 884 00:40:31,990 --> 00:40:32,960 My cousin's in the state department. 885 00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:35,560 He said I can be at the embassy when she's executed. 886 00:40:35,590 --> 00:40:36,960 She's not gonna be executed. 887 00:40:36,970 --> 00:40:38,440 She'll get off,like always. 888 00:40:38,490 --> 00:40:40,190 Really? 889 00:40:40,310 --> 00:40:41,730 Well,maybe not like always. 890 00:40:41,770 --> 00:40:45,050 It is a small nation in the far east,but she's milan. 891 00:40:45,060 --> 00:40:46,860 They'll work something out. 892 00:40:48,430 --> 00:40:50,670 Do you wanna bet? 893 00:40:51,220 --> 00:40:53,230 Good boy. 894 00:40:55,930 --> 00:40:58,310 The government has decided to be merciful on miss carlton, 895 00:40:58,340 --> 00:41:00,610 and release her from prison... 896 00:41:00,620 --> 00:41:04,040 After receiving three public lashes. 897 00:41:11,370 --> 00:41:12,720 No! 898 00:41:12,740 --> 00:41:14,480 No! 899 00:41:14,530 --> 00:41:15,350 No! 900 00:41:15,390 --> 00:41:16,720 No! 901 00:41:16,910 --> 00:41:19,240 I'm sorry! 902 00:41:19,280 --> 00:41:21,230 Daddy! 903 00:41:24,300 --> 00:41:28,220 dirt exclusing milan's charity voyage' stings!! 904 00:41:28,221 --> 00:41:30,487 for www.wikisubtitles.net