1 00:00:24,498 --> 00:00:25,782 D'oh! 2 00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:38,140 ♪ The Simpsons 24x21 ♪ The Saga of Carl Carlson Original Air Date on May 19, 2013 3 00:00:38,157 --> 00:00:40,657 == sync, corrected by elderman == Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 4 00:00:42,127 --> 00:00:44,443 It's been a brilliant night of women's tennis 5 00:00:44,750 --> 00:00:47,531 with Petrevkova narrowly edging Mashakova. 6 00:00:47,584 --> 00:00:49,520 We take you now to doubles action 7 00:00:49,539 --> 00:00:52,033 between Pavlyuchenkeka-Vilnikova 8 00:00:52,057 --> 00:00:55,494 and Strakova-Mishtnupetrateva. 9 00:00:56,688 --> 00:00:59,131 To me, it's legs versus boobs. 10 00:01:00,613 --> 00:01:01,689 What the...? 11 00:01:01,695 --> 00:01:05,453 Change the channel? But I'm watching soft-core tennis. 12 00:01:05,487 --> 00:01:07,737 Ki-Ya Karate Monsters! 13 00:01:07,766 --> 00:01:09,910 - What the hell is that? - It's our favorite show. 14 00:01:09,935 --> 00:01:13,091 - Mom said we could watch it. - Did she really say that? 15 00:01:13,107 --> 00:01:15,460 Are you gonna walk upstairs and ask her? 16 00:01:22,652 --> 00:01:24,266 No. 17 00:01:24,277 --> 00:01:25,758 From a Shaolin monastery 18 00:01:25,777 --> 00:01:28,813 in darkest Transylvania come helpful hell-spawn. 19 00:01:28,832 --> 00:01:32,476 With homicidal honor, they rampage for peace. 20 00:01:32,617 --> 00:01:34,241 Ki-Ya! 21 00:01:34,254 --> 00:01:35,542 - Ki-Ya! - Ki-Ya! 22 00:01:35,561 --> 00:01:36,996 You like this now? 23 00:01:37,015 --> 00:01:39,680 What about Planet Jackson and the Earth Brigade? 24 00:01:39,724 --> 00:01:41,942 Dad, we don't watch that show anymore. 25 00:01:41,960 --> 00:01:43,398 It's for babies. 26 00:01:46,312 --> 00:01:48,306 Planet power! 27 00:01:49,584 --> 00:01:52,178 - Kung Fu Werewolf chop! - Blob Jitsu kick! 28 00:01:52,198 --> 00:01:55,637 Stop it. No Karate Monsters at the dinner table. 29 00:01:55,674 --> 00:01:58,209 It's Ki-Ya Karate Monsters. 30 00:01:58,992 --> 00:02:02,142 - Samurai shampoo blast! - Ninja throwing soap! 31 00:02:02,170 --> 00:02:04,960 No Karate Monsters in the bathtub. 32 00:02:04,985 --> 00:02:07,173 Ki-Ya Karate Monsters. 33 00:02:07,185 --> 00:02:09,614 - Happy birthday, Dad. - Happy birthday, Grampa. 34 00:02:11,363 --> 00:02:13,533 Did this really happen? 35 00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:16,042 - Pill attack! - Actual sword attack! 36 00:02:16,061 --> 00:02:18,967 I've had it. No more Karate Monsters. 37 00:02:18,981 --> 00:02:21,450 - Ki-Ya... - Ki-Ya... 38 00:02:21,788 --> 00:02:24,600 That's it. Tomorrow, we're doing something educational. 39 00:02:24,612 --> 00:02:27,069 We're going to the science museum. 40 00:02:28,555 --> 00:02:30,189 Damn it. 41 00:02:45,472 --> 00:02:48,386 Finally, actual science. 42 00:02:52,483 --> 00:02:53,998 You did it, baby. 43 00:02:54,023 --> 00:02:56,852 You promised no fun, and you delivered. 44 00:03:02,517 --> 00:03:04,051 Ah, hello there. 45 00:03:04,063 --> 00:03:08,479 I am Blaise Pascal, inventor of the probability theory. 46 00:03:08,511 --> 00:03:11,997 What are the odds of meeting you here? 47 00:03:12,274 --> 00:03:14,355 Excellent, I would say. 48 00:03:15,056 --> 00:03:18,890 My friend Silly Squirrel is about to buy a lottery ticket. 49 00:03:18,915 --> 00:03:21,994 Silly Squirrel, do you know the probability 50 00:03:22,007 --> 00:03:23,425 of winning the lottery? 51 00:03:23,448 --> 00:03:24,551 I don't know. 52 00:03:24,569 --> 00:03:28,870 Why, you are more likely to be run over by a car. 53 00:03:28,895 --> 00:03:31,800 Or be hit by lightning. 54 00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:35,749 Or murdered by an acquaintance. 55 00:03:36,107 --> 00:03:38,497 If you understood probability, 56 00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:41,253 you would never play the lottery. 57 00:03:44,972 --> 00:03:49,080 Guys, this science exhibit told me how stupid it is to play the lottery. 58 00:03:49,098 --> 00:03:51,389 Whoa, whoa, whoa. So you didn't buy our weekly ticket? 59 00:03:51,417 --> 00:03:54,147 Are you nuts? You can't win if you don't play. 60 00:03:54,159 --> 00:03:56,533 Hey, it's time. Turn it on, turn it on! 61 00:03:56,719 --> 00:03:59,863 Four lucky numbers for four best friends. 62 00:03:59,887 --> 00:04:02,926 Yeah, I always go with three, the number of brothers and sisters 63 00:04:02,950 --> 00:04:05,114 I, uh, Hunger Games-ed in the womb. 64 00:04:05,126 --> 00:04:08,744 19 for me. Uh, for the best year of my life, 1996. 65 00:04:08,750 --> 00:04:10,234 My number's 22. 66 00:04:10,276 --> 00:04:12,589 No reason. Just... 22. 67 00:04:12,761 --> 00:04:14,295 And I'm 69. 68 00:04:14,312 --> 00:04:17,731 Because people always laugh when you say "69." 69 00:04:19,093 --> 00:04:20,200 No one knows why. 70 00:04:20,229 --> 00:04:22,021 And the winning numbers are... 71 00:04:22,109 --> 00:04:23,997 three, 19, 72 00:04:24,049 --> 00:04:26,473 22 and 69. 73 00:04:27,681 --> 00:04:29,448 Oh, my gosh. We won. 74 00:04:29,476 --> 00:04:30,968 We won the Springfield Lottery. 75 00:04:30,987 --> 00:04:34,191 That's 200 grand. That's 50,000 bucks each! 76 00:04:36,814 --> 00:04:39,654 Guys, guys, we got to celebrate, throw a raging party! 77 00:04:39,666 --> 00:04:41,924 I'll cash the ticket. Homer, Homer, you get the food. 78 00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:45,149 I'll get mini Dumpsters of wings from Garbage Wings. 79 00:04:45,174 --> 00:04:48,084 - And, Lenny, you get the drinks. - But we're already at a bar. 80 00:04:48,111 --> 00:04:51,313 Oh, no. That's just gasoline and hot dog water. 81 00:04:51,348 --> 00:04:53,273 Who cares? We got the money. 82 00:04:53,859 --> 00:04:55,619 I'm so happy. 83 00:04:55,644 --> 00:04:57,397 I'm so happy. 84 00:04:57,475 --> 00:04:59,985 To the best feeling in the world... 85 00:05:00,016 --> 00:05:01,279 money. 86 00:05:03,963 --> 00:05:06,493 Guys, I got big plans for these winnings. 87 00:05:06,511 --> 00:05:08,362 I'm going to build... 88 00:05:08,387 --> 00:05:11,315 - a swimming pool. - In-ground? 89 00:05:11,349 --> 00:05:13,848 So freaking far in the ground, baby. 90 00:05:13,866 --> 00:05:15,007 What about you, Carl? 91 00:05:15,044 --> 00:05:17,293 What are you gonna do with your share of the money? 92 00:05:19,731 --> 00:05:23,147 Oh, uh, I guess Carl ain't back yet from cashing in the ticket. 93 00:05:23,159 --> 00:05:25,040 I'm sure he just got held up in traffic. 94 00:05:25,071 --> 00:05:27,718 Yeah, that's probably what happened. 95 00:05:28,477 --> 00:05:29,852 I wonder what's keeping Carl. 96 00:05:29,865 --> 00:05:31,984 I hope our friend wasn't in an accident. 97 00:05:32,003 --> 00:05:35,297 I'm glad we're the kind of people who are worried about Carl's safety 98 00:05:35,309 --> 00:05:37,647 instead of thinking that he ripped us off. 99 00:05:37,667 --> 00:05:40,248 I wasn't thinking that. 100 00:05:40,272 --> 00:05:42,680 - Carl's our good friend. - Our good friend. 101 00:05:42,710 --> 00:05:44,425 Yeah, good old Carl. 102 00:05:46,365 --> 00:05:50,071 Good old Carl's phone went straight to voice mail. Again. 103 00:05:53,566 --> 00:05:55,917 The power of friendship is so amazing, 104 00:05:55,948 --> 00:05:58,506 I don't feel at all suspicious of Carl. 105 00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:01,017 Drive faster because of the power of friendship. 106 00:06:05,464 --> 00:06:08,129 - Carl's gone. - Our money's gone. 107 00:06:08,158 --> 00:06:09,358 We've been betrayed. 108 00:06:09,374 --> 00:06:11,008 By good old Carl! 109 00:06:11,018 --> 00:06:13,529 Guys, I think we might need a new song. 110 00:06:13,636 --> 00:06:15,736 ♪ Four best friends 111 00:06:15,757 --> 00:06:18,540 ♪ Who never quarrel 112 00:06:18,561 --> 00:06:23,229 ♪ Homer Simpson, Lenny, Moe and... ♪ 113 00:06:23,479 --> 00:06:24,611 ♪ And... 114 00:06:24,626 --> 00:06:26,627 And no one. 115 00:06:31,487 --> 00:06:33,264 All our lottery money, gone! 116 00:06:33,290 --> 00:06:34,760 If I ever see that Carl again, 117 00:06:34,778 --> 00:06:37,429 I'm gonna freeze him, chop him up into ice cubes 118 00:06:37,447 --> 00:06:40,860 and scoop him into the urinal trough at the Gathering of the Juggalos! 119 00:06:40,885 --> 00:06:43,876 Guys, give Carl a chance. I'm sure he's gonna come back. 120 00:06:43,941 --> 00:06:45,205 I don't think so. 121 00:06:45,224 --> 00:06:48,333 His travel neck pillow's gone from its pedestal. 122 00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:49,381 Fellas, 123 00:06:49,422 --> 00:06:51,628 - he ain't coming back. - You don't know that. 124 00:06:51,644 --> 00:06:54,721 I'm gonna keep looking till we figure out what really happened. 125 00:06:54,739 --> 00:06:57,186 See, I bet he flew to Quebec to bring us back 126 00:06:57,204 --> 00:06:59,744 authentic French-Canadian sugar pie. 127 00:06:59,770 --> 00:07:04,247 I can taste it already. Mmm. Thanks for the sugar pie, Carl. 128 00:07:05,728 --> 00:07:07,381 Hey, what's this? 129 00:07:07,413 --> 00:07:08,919 "I've gone home. 130 00:07:08,938 --> 00:07:12,279 Good-bye forever, Carl Carlson." 131 00:07:13,568 --> 00:07:15,769 Where'd you go, Carl? 132 00:07:17,279 --> 00:07:19,222 Had plans for that money, too. 133 00:07:19,236 --> 00:07:22,583 I was gonna be one of those guys who's really into hot sauce, you know? 134 00:07:22,614 --> 00:07:25,688 Hot sauce suspenders, hot sauce pajamas. 135 00:07:25,707 --> 00:07:28,563 Bolo tie with a little chili pepper on it. 136 00:07:28,589 --> 00:07:31,820 I still can't believe it was Carl who took your winnings. 137 00:07:31,843 --> 00:07:33,462 I thought it would've been you. 138 00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:35,312 Or you. Or you. 139 00:07:35,349 --> 00:07:36,855 I know. Me, too. 140 00:07:36,867 --> 00:07:38,630 It's the ultimate screw-over. 141 00:07:38,650 --> 00:07:42,522 Maybe he had a good reason to give you the ultimate screw-over. 142 00:07:42,585 --> 00:07:45,524 He said he went home, and his passport is gone. 143 00:07:45,537 --> 00:07:47,287 What country is he from? 144 00:07:47,322 --> 00:07:48,836 - Uh... - Uh... - I don't know. 145 00:07:48,860 --> 00:07:51,713 You don't know where Carl is from? 146 00:07:51,735 --> 00:07:53,832 Come on, you know how dudes are. 147 00:07:53,857 --> 00:07:56,095 We don't go digging into the past. 148 00:07:56,120 --> 00:07:57,695 We talk about guy stuff. 149 00:07:57,724 --> 00:08:00,827 Like baseball and trucks and when guys lift too much weight 150 00:08:00,858 --> 00:08:02,290 and their bungus drops out. 151 00:08:02,310 --> 00:08:03,804 You know, guy stuff. 152 00:08:03,829 --> 00:08:06,410 Maybe if you'd talked less about guy stuff, 153 00:08:06,429 --> 00:08:09,055 you'd know more about your so-called friend. 154 00:08:09,087 --> 00:08:11,462 Well, it don't matter no more, Midge. Carl is gone, 155 00:08:11,481 --> 00:08:13,727 and we're already auditioning replacements. 156 00:08:16,743 --> 00:08:19,412 This could not be more offensive. 157 00:08:19,454 --> 00:08:20,792 Man! 158 00:08:21,420 --> 00:08:23,484 Oh, of course. Ugh! 159 00:08:23,659 --> 00:08:25,123 Hmm. 160 00:08:26,012 --> 00:08:27,318 Hey, hey, get that out of here! 161 00:08:27,336 --> 00:08:30,535 I don't ever want to see that moolah-stealing jackpot thief again! 162 00:08:30,583 --> 00:08:32,133 Wait a minute. 163 00:08:32,164 --> 00:08:36,233 Something's reflected in the lenses of Carl's sunglasses. 164 00:08:36,268 --> 00:08:38,651 I just need to get closer. 165 00:08:41,872 --> 00:08:44,636 He's looking at a geyser. 166 00:08:44,648 --> 00:08:46,423 And there's a sign in front of it! 167 00:08:46,442 --> 00:08:49,358 Oh... It's too small to read. 168 00:08:51,391 --> 00:08:53,630 Oh, it's backwards. 169 00:08:53,672 --> 00:08:54,785 Try this. 170 00:08:54,804 --> 00:08:57,539 "Strokkur Geysir." 171 00:08:57,567 --> 00:08:59,361 Hmm. 172 00:08:59,379 --> 00:09:03,661 The geyser is one of the most famous natural wonders in Iceland. 173 00:09:03,679 --> 00:09:05,709 I guess that's where Carl's from. 174 00:09:05,725 --> 00:09:06,903 Ice-land? 175 00:09:06,927 --> 00:09:08,353 Is that even a real place? 176 00:09:08,367 --> 00:09:10,626 I thought it was Superman's Superman cave. 177 00:09:10,676 --> 00:09:15,262 Iceland keeps the most detailed family records of any country in the world. 178 00:09:15,285 --> 00:09:17,548 There! Carl was adopted... 179 00:09:19,806 --> 00:09:22,504 ...by a couple who lives outside Reykjavik. 180 00:09:22,549 --> 00:09:24,962 Well, if that's Carl's home, then that's where our money is! 181 00:09:24,993 --> 00:09:27,268 And that's where we're going. We got to pack. 182 00:09:36,289 --> 00:09:38,063 50 bucks per bag? 183 00:09:38,101 --> 00:09:41,540 I guess I'm only bringing one guitar on this revenge trip. 184 00:09:43,254 --> 00:09:45,387 You're going so far away. 185 00:09:45,422 --> 00:09:46,622 I'll miss you. 186 00:09:46,638 --> 00:09:48,305 Baby, I'm going for us. 187 00:09:48,346 --> 00:09:50,648 That money is going to dig us a swimming pool 188 00:09:50,654 --> 00:09:53,278 that'll take our broken family and make it whole. 189 00:09:53,312 --> 00:09:54,638 We're not broken. 190 00:09:54,656 --> 00:09:56,526 - We're broken. - We're pretty broken. 191 00:09:57,544 --> 00:10:00,143 How am I going to sleep if someone isn't pushing me 192 00:10:00,168 --> 00:10:02,466 all the way to the very edge of the bed? 193 00:10:02,494 --> 00:10:05,111 I've already taken care of that. 194 00:10:07,808 --> 00:10:08,640 Oh... 195 00:10:08,665 --> 00:10:10,647 Oh, that's perfect. 196 00:10:16,684 --> 00:10:19,898 I can't wait to see the smile on Carl's face when we surprise him. 197 00:10:19,933 --> 00:10:21,100 I call first hug. 198 00:10:21,134 --> 00:10:25,193 Hey, Lenny, when are you gonna wise up? Carl never wants to see us again. 199 00:10:25,236 --> 00:10:26,977 I'm done talking to you! 200 00:10:29,275 --> 00:10:30,325 This is funny. 201 00:10:30,350 --> 00:10:35,406 It says here Iceland is green, and Greenland is icy. 202 00:10:35,439 --> 00:10:38,708 The Vikings switched the names to trick everybody. 203 00:10:40,599 --> 00:10:41,969 - It's funny. - That's pretty good. 204 00:10:41,988 --> 00:10:43,219 Great gag! 205 00:10:43,256 --> 00:10:46,181 Hey, Vikings, it's still pretty damn cold! 206 00:10:46,213 --> 00:10:48,432 I only packed shorts. 207 00:10:55,641 --> 00:10:57,799 Excuse me, uh, we're looking for our friend. 208 00:10:57,811 --> 00:11:00,673 He's, uh... he's about so tall, 209 00:11:00,685 --> 00:11:02,217 uh, wears a jacket, 210 00:11:02,235 --> 00:11:04,778 he's, um, got no visible tattoos... 211 00:11:04,799 --> 00:11:06,700 Just say he's black, Moe. 212 00:11:06,729 --> 00:11:07,930 You say he's black! 213 00:11:07,963 --> 00:11:10,264 His name is Carl Carlson. 214 00:11:10,300 --> 00:11:11,733 Carl Carlson! 215 00:11:11,749 --> 00:11:14,417 His family has been hated for 1,000 years. 216 00:11:14,458 --> 00:11:16,525 How do you know about Carl's family? 217 00:11:16,553 --> 00:11:18,372 Our country is very small, 218 00:11:18,387 --> 00:11:20,925 very judgmental and very nosy. 219 00:11:20,958 --> 00:11:24,052 Ingimar Ogmundsson, how progresses your gonorrhea? 220 00:11:24,079 --> 00:11:26,912 It heals, but slowly. 221 00:11:27,179 --> 00:11:29,292 Why does everybody hate Carl's family? 222 00:11:29,865 --> 00:11:31,341 Here's why. 223 00:11:31,386 --> 00:11:34,158 This saga tells of how Carl Carlson's family 224 00:11:34,170 --> 00:11:35,903 were the watchmen of the coast, 225 00:11:35,923 --> 00:11:38,625 always keeping an eye out for invading hordes. 226 00:11:38,653 --> 00:11:41,435 Iceland's safety depended on their vigilance. 227 00:11:42,317 --> 00:11:44,710 But the Carlsons failed in their duty. 228 00:11:44,738 --> 00:11:48,243 The enemy invaded, laying waste to our lava fields, 229 00:11:48,275 --> 00:11:52,524 burning our sweaters and feasting upon our tiny horses. 230 00:11:52,621 --> 00:11:56,205 Apparently, screwing over your friends is in Carl's blood-- 231 00:11:56,230 --> 00:11:57,808 his adopted blood. 232 00:12:03,563 --> 00:12:06,428 All right, this is it, Carl's family home. 233 00:12:06,449 --> 00:12:08,010 Twenty-two... 234 00:12:08,041 --> 00:12:11,066 Ooh, phew, oh, that's a lot of letters. 235 00:12:11,087 --> 00:12:13,119 22 Hjorleifsstrati. 236 00:12:13,135 --> 00:12:16,204 So that's why 22 was Carl's lottery number. 237 00:12:16,229 --> 00:12:20,488 Yeah, and that's why his sweatpants say "Hjorleifsstrati" across the butt. 238 00:12:21,413 --> 00:12:22,963 The gates are locked. 239 00:12:22,981 --> 00:12:25,657 Well, then we'll just have to wait for him to come out. 240 00:12:26,864 --> 00:12:29,187 Oh, man, stakeouts are so boring. 241 00:12:29,238 --> 00:12:31,006 I wish I had something to look at. 242 00:12:31,077 --> 00:12:35,071 Well, I guess I'll just read the car rental contract again. 243 00:12:35,101 --> 00:12:39,295 Damage waiver, check. Return with full tank of gas, check. 244 00:12:39,313 --> 00:12:42,430 All drivers must be over the age of 25... 245 00:12:42,480 --> 00:12:44,097 and check. 246 00:12:45,757 --> 00:12:48,052 Love you, Mom. See you, Dad. 247 00:12:55,374 --> 00:12:57,496 It's Carl! Wake up, wake up! 248 00:12:57,515 --> 00:12:58,677 - Huh? - Huh? 249 00:13:16,587 --> 00:13:18,525 Ah, damn it, we lost him! 250 00:13:19,573 --> 00:13:21,974 There he is. And he's got our money! 251 00:13:39,173 --> 00:13:40,362 It's no use. 252 00:13:40,393 --> 00:13:42,400 We're perfectly matched. 253 00:13:46,432 --> 00:13:47,935 We did it! 254 00:13:50,643 --> 00:13:52,582 Give us some answers, or you'll get a mouthful 255 00:13:52,607 --> 00:13:55,105 of rotten shark fermented in its own urine. 256 00:13:55,138 --> 00:13:59,526 No, no, anything but the inedible, repulsive food of my native land. 257 00:13:59,563 --> 00:14:03,197 Yeah, Carl, tell them the good reason you had for borrowing the money. 258 00:14:03,222 --> 00:14:06,241 Look, I admit it. I gave you the ultimate screw-over. 259 00:14:06,271 --> 00:14:08,934 But I did it to clear my family's name. 260 00:14:09,007 --> 00:14:12,564 Everyone blames the barbarian invasion on my ancestors. 261 00:14:12,606 --> 00:14:15,862 But that saga had a missing page. 262 00:14:15,892 --> 00:14:18,205 Oh, yeah... a page was torn out. 263 00:14:18,229 --> 00:14:21,940 My family's always believed that we fought bravely against the invaders, 264 00:14:21,968 --> 00:14:24,172 and the missing page will prove it. 265 00:14:24,211 --> 00:14:28,280 I took the lottery money to buy that page and restore my family's honor. 266 00:14:28,300 --> 00:14:30,720 Why didn't you just tell us? We're your friends. 267 00:14:30,752 --> 00:14:32,776 I didn't tell you because... 268 00:14:32,819 --> 00:14:34,182 we're not friends. 269 00:14:35,409 --> 00:14:38,473 Friends share their feelings, their hopes, their dreams. 270 00:14:38,508 --> 00:14:40,509 Friends know their friends are from Iceland! 271 00:14:40,543 --> 00:14:43,654 We are just guys who sit next to each other at a bar 272 00:14:43,673 --> 00:14:46,742 and talk about... ugh... guy stuff. 273 00:14:46,845 --> 00:14:49,835 So all those years of hanging out meant nothing? 274 00:14:49,854 --> 00:14:51,846 - Not to me. - Sorry, Lenny. 275 00:14:51,863 --> 00:14:53,863 That's all right. Now we know. 276 00:14:53,875 --> 00:14:55,232 It's all out in the open. 277 00:14:55,254 --> 00:14:58,456 I guess it kind of makes it easier now for me to... 278 00:14:58,484 --> 00:15:00,031 to kill Carl! 279 00:15:04,229 --> 00:15:07,769 When the nice ones snap, it's always a good show. 280 00:15:17,024 --> 00:15:19,845 - Ow, my eye! My eye! - My eye! My eye! 281 00:15:19,858 --> 00:15:21,825 Hey, hey, hey, Lenny, forget him, forget him! 282 00:15:21,843 --> 00:15:23,830 Look, we still got the money. 283 00:15:24,795 --> 00:15:26,889 - What the...? - Wha...? What the hell is this? 284 00:15:26,901 --> 00:15:28,575 That's the missing page from the saga. 285 00:15:28,598 --> 00:15:30,736 That's what I spent our lottery money on. 286 00:15:30,748 --> 00:15:33,949 - Then this belongs to us. - Please, give it back! Please! 287 00:15:33,974 --> 00:15:35,962 It'll restore my family's honor! 288 00:15:36,061 --> 00:15:39,658 Maybe we'd give it back to our friend, but we're not friends, remember? 289 00:15:39,692 --> 00:15:42,698 Sorry, Carl. It's World War II all over again. 290 00:15:42,717 --> 00:15:45,445 America kicks Iceland's ass. 291 00:15:45,601 --> 00:15:46,902 No! 292 00:15:47,698 --> 00:15:50,000 Guys, do you think Carl was right? 293 00:15:50,025 --> 00:15:51,919 What if we're not real friends? 294 00:15:51,952 --> 00:15:54,935 Maybe we are just lonely guys who do... 295 00:15:55,048 --> 00:15:56,485 guy stuff. 296 00:16:21,118 --> 00:16:23,607 Hi, Homie! Did you get the money? 297 00:16:23,626 --> 00:16:26,251 The kids have been stocking up on pool noodles. 298 00:16:26,260 --> 00:16:28,210 Put the noodles in the shed. 299 00:16:28,238 --> 00:16:30,382 There isn't gonna be a swimming pool. 300 00:16:30,409 --> 00:16:32,430 - Hmm? - Carl spent all our money 301 00:16:32,442 --> 00:16:35,355 on this stupid page from a stupid saga. 302 00:16:35,418 --> 00:16:39,474 I say we make it into saga soup and have ourselves a soup sip. 303 00:16:40,664 --> 00:16:44,080 That'll show Carl for de-friending us in real life! 304 00:16:44,115 --> 00:16:45,830 I know Carl did you wrong, 305 00:16:45,842 --> 00:16:49,041 but is destroying something he cares that much about 306 00:16:49,059 --> 00:16:51,372 really going to make you feel good? 307 00:16:51,395 --> 00:16:53,628 Well, we won't know that till after. 308 00:16:53,666 --> 00:16:57,045 Just read the saga and see what it says. 309 00:16:57,084 --> 00:17:00,402 But how can we learn to read ancient Icelandic? 310 00:17:00,443 --> 00:17:01,710 With these. 311 00:17:02,213 --> 00:17:05,069 Yeah, my doctor says it's better for me not to sleep. 312 00:17:05,649 --> 00:17:07,862 - Thorn? - Yes! 313 00:17:07,940 --> 00:17:09,307 Forvitinn. 314 00:17:09,328 --> 00:17:11,523 I can't do this, I can't do this! 315 00:17:11,542 --> 00:17:13,078 You can't not do it! 316 00:17:13,115 --> 00:17:16,303 Okay, let's see what this thing says. 317 00:17:16,339 --> 00:17:18,214 "When the barbarian invaders came, 318 00:17:18,233 --> 00:17:20,830 the Carlsons met them with their weapons ready..." 319 00:17:20,857 --> 00:17:22,982 Wow, Carl's family really was brave. 320 00:17:23,012 --> 00:17:25,981 "...weapons which they immediately threw down in surrender. 321 00:17:26,020 --> 00:17:28,955 "The Carlsons then let the barbarians in the back gate 322 00:17:28,985 --> 00:17:31,497 "and joined in the sacking, the looting 323 00:17:31,515 --> 00:17:34,461 "and the volcano-ing of the village elders. 324 00:17:34,515 --> 00:17:36,952 "The Carlsons then wrote down this saga 325 00:17:36,958 --> 00:17:40,729 so no one would ever forget their treachery and cowardice." 326 00:17:40,974 --> 00:17:44,399 Carl's family was even worse than people thought. 327 00:17:44,416 --> 00:17:46,710 They were the original ultimate scumbags. 328 00:17:46,729 --> 00:17:49,493 Carl betrayed his friends, blew the lottery money... 329 00:17:49,506 --> 00:17:51,418 - all for nothing. - Hey, guys... 330 00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:53,768 I think I feel bad for Carl. 331 00:17:58,767 --> 00:18:00,669 Attention, everyone in Iceland. 332 00:18:00,681 --> 00:18:02,769 We have an important announcement. 333 00:18:02,799 --> 00:18:06,588 Take a break from your dreary lives to hear Americans lecture you. 334 00:18:06,622 --> 00:18:08,123 - Ah! Ah! - Eh! 335 00:18:08,157 --> 00:18:09,568 Is this everyone? 336 00:18:09,587 --> 00:18:11,133 No. 337 00:18:11,630 --> 00:18:12,473 Yes. 338 00:18:12,485 --> 00:18:14,858 I've learned something about the people of Iceland. 339 00:18:14,885 --> 00:18:18,495 You have endured barbarian invasions, total financial collapse 340 00:18:18,513 --> 00:18:20,636 and a lesbian prime minister. 341 00:18:20,665 --> 00:18:23,679 You've managed to survive on a craphole island 342 00:18:23,702 --> 00:18:26,905 that looks like the moon and smells like rotten eggs. 343 00:18:26,951 --> 00:18:30,114 And to do that, you have to be stubborn. 344 00:18:30,119 --> 00:18:32,502 But I ask you to put aside your stubbornness 345 00:18:32,524 --> 00:18:35,401 while I tell you about Carl Carlson. 346 00:18:35,434 --> 00:18:37,185 Shame on Carl's family! 347 00:18:37,213 --> 00:18:41,096 The blood of 1,000 tiny horses is on their hands. 348 00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:43,777 Doesn't matter what happened 1,000 years ago, 349 00:18:43,802 --> 00:18:48,630 for Carl Carlson's honor has been redeemed by the deeds of Carl Carlson. 350 00:18:48,651 --> 00:18:51,242 Carl Carlson who helped me move, 351 00:18:51,273 --> 00:18:53,149 even though I moved the week before. 352 00:18:54,117 --> 00:18:55,980 Yeah, and when we were painting my house, 353 00:18:55,998 --> 00:18:58,709 Carl Carlson brought that blue tape, you know, 354 00:18:58,714 --> 00:19:00,864 that makes you really look like you know what you're doing. 355 00:19:00,893 --> 00:19:03,628 You peel it off, and you got that super straight line there. 356 00:19:04,751 --> 00:19:06,945 And when he brings a six-pack to my house, 357 00:19:06,964 --> 00:19:08,976 he doesn't take the extras home with him. 358 00:19:08,998 --> 00:19:11,449 Carl Carlson leaves them in the fridge. 359 00:19:12,588 --> 00:19:16,383 Carl Carlson is our friend, even if he doesn't believe it. 360 00:19:17,081 --> 00:19:20,445 If we can forgive Carl for stealing our lottery winnings, 361 00:19:20,528 --> 00:19:24,883 maybe youse can find it in youse's hearts to forgive his ancestors. 362 00:19:24,942 --> 00:19:28,180 The many small kindnesses of Carl Carlson 363 00:19:28,199 --> 00:19:31,556 have redeemed his family forever. 364 00:19:33,264 --> 00:19:37,038 Mom, Dad, our family can show our face in public 365 00:19:37,063 --> 00:19:39,442 for the first time in 1,000 years. 366 00:19:43,250 --> 00:19:45,016 - Ai. - Ai. 367 00:19:47,165 --> 00:19:50,928 How can you say these men are not your true friends? 368 00:19:51,082 --> 00:19:52,060 I... 369 00:19:52,085 --> 00:19:53,523 I can't! 370 00:19:54,331 --> 00:19:56,820 I can't! 371 00:19:57,049 --> 00:19:58,628 Ai. 372 00:20:05,215 --> 00:20:09,310 Guys, thanks for teaching me the true meaning of male friendship. 373 00:20:09,332 --> 00:20:11,299 The stuff that comes from in here... 374 00:20:11,386 --> 00:20:12,774 that is guy stuff. 375 00:20:12,796 --> 00:20:15,083 We don't get together to share our emotions. 376 00:20:15,117 --> 00:20:17,211 We get together to escape them. 377 00:20:17,237 --> 00:20:19,928 Yeah, I'd tell you guys I love you, but, uh, 378 00:20:19,952 --> 00:20:22,347 I don't want to say it, and you don't want to hear it. 379 00:20:22,385 --> 00:20:24,019 To nothing! 380 00:20:36,749 --> 00:20:40,133 Okay, everyone, get ready to see your brand-new... 381 00:20:40,152 --> 00:20:41,890 - What is it, what is it, what is it? - Oh, oh! 382 00:20:41,911 --> 00:20:42,896 ...keg-pools! 383 00:20:42,915 --> 00:20:44,152 - Yay! - Yay! 384 00:20:48,388 --> 00:20:50,122 Hey! Aah! 385 00:20:55,622 --> 00:20:58,383 Fine. I'm going home. 386 00:20:59,363 --> 00:21:00,280 Hmpf. 387 00:21:00,307 --> 00:21:05,307 == sync, corrected by elderman == Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 388 00:21:49,129 --> 00:21:50,182 Shh!