1 00:00:03,962 --> 00:00:06,256 NARRATOR:High school seniors often find themselves 2 00:00:06,298 --> 00:00:08,258 in their first relationship. 3 00:00:08,300 --> 00:00:09,343 How was that? 4 00:00:09,385 --> 00:00:10,594 Perfecto. 5 00:00:10,636 --> 00:00:12,596 NARRATOR: This is Maeby Funke, 6 00:00:12,638 --> 00:00:16,141 and during her senior year, she was dating this boy. 7 00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:18,185 His name was Perfecto Telles, 8 00:00:18,227 --> 00:00:20,979 and she was rewarding him for doing her English homework, 9 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:24,274 even though English was his second language. 10 00:00:24,316 --> 00:00:26,860 And if you do my Spanish, I'll teach you how to French. 11 00:00:26,902 --> 00:00:30,072 Everyone could see that they had chemistry together, 12 00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:31,781 but it wasn't until Donny Richter's algebra class 13 00:00:31,823 --> 00:00:33,283 that the real bonding began. 14 00:00:33,325 --> 00:00:35,411 Okay, I don't want to embarrass anyone, 15 00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:37,454 so, everyone, close your eyes, close 'em. 16 00:00:37,496 --> 00:00:41,208 Now, if you passed the test, go ahead and get up 17 00:00:41,250 --> 00:00:42,626 and exit the classroom. 18 00:00:42,668 --> 00:00:44,670 MAN: Does that include the crew? 19 00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:45,962 DONNY: No, the "Babies Having Babies" crew... 20 00:00:46,004 --> 00:00:48,340 - 38. - Oh, 43, 21 00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:49,883 but that's because I'm good with numb... 22 00:00:49,925 --> 00:00:51,635 Oh, no, actually it's 34. 23 00:00:51,677 --> 00:00:53,262 Well, if it's dumb to stay behind 24 00:00:53,303 --> 00:00:55,472 with you, call me a dummy. 25 00:00:55,514 --> 00:00:57,224 DONNY: We don't say "dummy," 26 00:00:57,266 --> 00:00:59,727 and unfortunately you two alge-tards 27 00:00:59,768 --> 00:01:02,396 are going to need some special tutoring. 28 00:01:02,438 --> 00:01:03,647 Which is how they found themselves 29 00:01:03,689 --> 00:01:05,482 headed to the local college, 30 00:01:05,524 --> 00:01:07,776 along with the other math-challenged students. 31 00:01:07,817 --> 00:01:09,486 ♪ Take one down, pass it around ♪ 32 00:01:09,528 --> 00:01:10,820 (all singing different numbers) 33 00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:12,740 ♪ ...bottles of beer on the wall... ♪ 34 00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:16,285 Hey, when we get there, don't forget you're Perfecto's woman. 35 00:01:16,326 --> 00:01:18,662 I don't want to hear about some smooth college guy 36 00:01:18,704 --> 00:01:19,996 who stole you away from me. 37 00:01:20,038 --> 00:01:21,331 Are you kidding me? 38 00:01:21,373 --> 00:01:22,625 What kind of loser spends his free time 39 00:01:22,666 --> 00:01:24,167 tutoring high school kids? 40 00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:26,670 - NARRATOR:This kind. - Hey, you must be... 41 00:01:26,712 --> 00:01:28,464 What? 42 00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:29,423 George Michael? 43 00:01:29,465 --> 00:01:30,633 Huh, what is this? 44 00:01:30,674 --> 00:01:32,175 Maeby, what are you doing here? 45 00:01:32,217 --> 00:01:33,385 (both chuckle) 46 00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:35,971 As I live and breathe, I... 47 00:01:36,012 --> 00:01:38,265 I thought you were the girl. I'm supposed to tutor a kid from... 48 00:01:38,307 --> 00:01:41,644 High school, yeah, that's me. 49 00:01:41,685 --> 00:01:43,646 Crazy, that is just crazy. 50 00:01:43,687 --> 00:01:44,896 (chuckles) 51 00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:47,316 But, wait, why are you in high school? 52 00:01:47,357 --> 00:01:49,943 Didn't we graduate together five years ago? 53 00:01:49,985 --> 00:01:51,528 It was a decent question. 54 00:01:51,570 --> 00:01:54,156 After all, it had been several years 55 00:01:54,197 --> 00:01:55,865 since the two high school seniors got somewhat intimate. 56 00:01:55,907 --> 00:01:58,535 You might not even be related to us. 57 00:01:58,577 --> 00:02:02,456 But later, while fleeing the boat party, 58 00:02:02,498 --> 00:02:05,542 George Michael got some advice on the matter from his father. 59 00:02:05,584 --> 00:02:07,085 She might not be a blood relative, 60 00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:09,254 but she is still family. 61 00:02:09,296 --> 00:02:14,176 So, after returning, worn from the harsh winds of the sea, 62 00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:15,678 George Michael found the girl 63 00:02:15,719 --> 00:02:17,513 he now had to back away from on her back. 64 00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:20,056 - Maeby, are you okay? What are you doing? - Shh-shh. 65 00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:22,392 I'm trying to get my parents to notice me. 66 00:02:22,434 --> 00:02:24,770 - I've been here for, like, an hour and a half. - It's not me. 67 00:02:24,812 --> 00:02:26,647 - It had been seven minutes. - Do you think it would help 68 00:02:26,689 --> 00:02:29,441 if I went over and said, like, "Hey, Maeby's dead"? 69 00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:31,443 - No, that would just mean that they notice you. - Well, 70 00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:33,529 obviously they've just got a lot on their plate right now. 71 00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:35,280 I mean, they're clearly busy. 72 00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:37,491 ♪ No, it's just a phallus... eee! ♪ 73 00:02:37,533 --> 00:02:39,867 - Where's that from? - It's from nothing. 74 00:02:39,909 --> 00:02:42,287 - Why don't you cough or something? - Oh, right, 75 00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:43,913 like I'm dying. 76 00:02:43,955 --> 00:02:45,123 (both coughing) 77 00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:46,874 There's nothing keeping us together. 78 00:02:46,916 --> 00:02:49,169 TOBIAS: I believe we're thinking the same thing. 79 00:02:49,211 --> 00:02:51,380 - Oh, God. - (sighs) 80 00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:52,715 But, you know, I'm actually-- 81 00:02:52,756 --> 00:02:54,842 I'm glad to have a moment alone with you, 82 00:02:54,882 --> 00:02:57,219 because it gives us a chance to talk about us. 83 00:02:57,260 --> 00:02:58,928 You know, I really care about you. 84 00:02:58,970 --> 00:03:01,139 Oh, boy, here we go. 85 00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:02,641 You want to get more serious. 86 00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:04,852 And Maeby didn't, because-- 87 00:03:04,892 --> 00:03:06,894 and I never told you this, but-- 88 00:03:06,936 --> 00:03:09,939 George Michael wasn't a very good kisser. 89 00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:11,692 It seems he both used his tongue 90 00:03:11,734 --> 00:03:13,777 to fend off the intruding tongue, 91 00:03:13,819 --> 00:03:16,739 but also laterally moved his lower jaw 92 00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:18,948 while constricting his lower lip. 93 00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:21,493 The upper lip, meanwhile, tended to retract, 94 00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:25,330 revealing an exposed area from the front teeth to the canines, 95 00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:29,167 ultimately creating more pain than pleasure. 96 00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:30,794 Really just rookie mistakes, 97 00:03:30,836 --> 00:03:33,630 but all of it conspired to make Maeby concerned 98 00:03:33,672 --> 00:03:36,049 about him wanting to get more serious. 99 00:03:36,091 --> 00:03:38,510 - No, less serious. - What? 100 00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:40,721 Well, my dad doesn't think that it's such a good idea 101 00:03:40,763 --> 00:03:42,723 for you and me to be together. 102 00:03:42,765 --> 00:03:44,933 And that doesn't make me hotter to you? 103 00:03:44,974 --> 00:03:47,352 No, I could see that argument, I-I... 104 00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:48,854 No, I think we should just be cousins. 105 00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:51,273 So first my parents don't notice that I drowned, 106 00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:52,733 and now my cousin doesn't care 107 00:03:52,775 --> 00:03:55,611 that I'm at the height of my sexuality. 108 00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:58,488 No, sure I care, and, you know, I'm right there with you. 109 00:03:58,530 --> 00:04:00,908 We're a couple of, uh, forces of nature, but... 110 00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:03,410 - What? - Forces of nature. 111 00:04:03,452 --> 00:04:06,204 But I just really need to focus on graduating right now, 112 00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,916 and maybe you should, too, you know. 113 00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:11,293 Maybe that's the best way to get your parents' attention. 114 00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:13,670 That's a great idea. 115 00:04:13,712 --> 00:04:16,339 I've got two whole months to flunk. 116 00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:18,174 That's got to disappoint them. 117 00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:19,885 NARRATOR: Now the story of a family 118 00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:22,429 whose future was abruptly canceled, 119 00:04:22,471 --> 00:04:24,890 and the one daughter who had no choice 120 00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:27,058 but to keep her life together. 121 00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:34,190 It's Maeby's "Arrested Development." 122 00:04:36,234 --> 00:04:37,986 Maeby was trying to get her parents 123 00:04:38,027 --> 00:04:40,071 to notice she was flunking... 124 00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:42,574 So, for some reason they didn't send me a cap and gown, 125 00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,534 and I was gonna make one out of sheets, 126 00:04:44,576 --> 00:04:46,411 but I couldn't find... 127 00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:48,956 ...only to discover that Maeby's graduation wasn't 128 00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:50,165 top-of-mind for her parents. 129 00:04:50,206 --> 00:04:52,041 They left town. 130 00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:56,630 So she put her plan to put her graduation on hold on hold... 131 00:04:56,672 --> 00:04:59,132 - No, we do not need any extras. - ...and headed off to India, 132 00:04:59,174 --> 00:05:01,176 where she'd be working at what was once 133 00:05:01,217 --> 00:05:02,803 just her after-school job. 134 00:05:02,845 --> 00:05:05,848 Right. Okay, do we have to pay them in money or in rice? 135 00:05:05,889 --> 00:05:09,017 If they're in the union, you have to pay with rice. 136 00:05:09,058 --> 00:05:10,978 The movie she was supervising was the latest 137 00:05:11,019 --> 00:05:12,896 in her "terrifying grandmother" 138 00:05:12,938 --> 00:05:17,192 "Gangie" franchise, this one taking place in India. 139 00:05:17,233 --> 00:05:18,819 All right, I say we get 10,000 extras, 140 00:05:18,861 --> 00:05:20,737 - and then that way we have it. - We have it. 141 00:05:20,779 --> 00:05:22,572 - Yeah, we have it. - It's good to have it. 142 00:05:22,614 --> 00:05:24,449 TOBIAS: I am going to start wearing this back home. 143 00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:25,742 You'd think someone would tell her 144 00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:27,160 to shave her arms, the poor thing. 145 00:05:27,202 --> 00:05:28,453 And soon, she and her team arrived 146 00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:29,788 and headed off to the hotel... 147 00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:31,164 - Wait, how is it pronounced? - "Gan-jeez." 148 00:05:31,206 --> 00:05:32,290 MAEBY: Gangie on the Ganges? 149 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,167 That doesn't even make sense. 150 00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:36,378 ...where she found out why her mother wasn't at 151 00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:39,088 the graduation that Maeby also wasn't not at. 152 00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:40,465 LINDSAY: You don't get it. 153 00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:42,384 I'm not used to third world hotels. 154 00:05:42,425 --> 00:05:45,762 No, you don't get it-- you are so full of (bleep). 155 00:05:45,804 --> 00:05:48,807 Oh, you have got to be kidding me. 156 00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,976 Do we have a hair and makeup crew with us? 157 00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:52,310 Pretty makeup or scary makeup? 158 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:53,812 Scary. 159 00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,689 Well, I think we have the crew that did 160 00:05:55,731 --> 00:05:57,357 The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. 161 00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:59,108 Perfect. 162 00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:01,778 And that's how Lindsay ended up receiving 163 00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:03,572 - this spiritual advice. - I'm so full of passion. 164 00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:05,032 You are so full of (bleep). 165 00:06:05,072 --> 00:06:06,408 Yeah, yeah. 166 00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:08,618 Pull your head out of the sand. 167 00:06:08,660 --> 00:06:10,996 Love is where you left it. 168 00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:13,040 The only person back home is Tobias. 169 00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:15,667 You have no children? 170 00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:17,544 No. Why do you ask? 171 00:06:17,586 --> 00:06:19,546 Well, yes, a daughter. 172 00:06:19,588 --> 00:06:22,089 She's away at boarding school in England. 173 00:06:22,131 --> 00:06:25,010 - Is that where we left it? - Although you'd think this 174 00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:26,302 - would have given her away. - Hug? 175 00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:29,556 Please don't squeeze the shaman. 176 00:06:29,598 --> 00:06:31,892 And while it did bring the family back together... 177 00:06:31,934 --> 00:06:33,226 Stop with the prayer hands. 178 00:06:33,268 --> 00:06:34,895 It just looks like you're out of ideas. 179 00:06:34,937 --> 00:06:37,230 ...it did make it harder for Maeby to make 180 00:06:37,272 --> 00:06:38,899 this insult stick. 181 00:06:38,941 --> 00:06:40,692 Don't you think it makes you seem a little, um, 182 00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:44,153 what is that saying, full of (bleep)? 183 00:06:44,195 --> 00:06:46,740 Thank you, Maeby, that's actually a compliment in India. 184 00:06:46,782 --> 00:06:48,825 - My own fault. - I'm here because a shaman told me 185 00:06:48,867 --> 00:06:51,118 that love is where I left it. 186 00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:54,205 But soon, the Funkes took their new spirit of love 187 00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:56,875 and togetherness into a place where they would seldom run 188 00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:59,002 into each other, and Maeby enrolled... 189 00:06:59,044 --> 00:07:01,046 - Okay, going back to school. - ...in a new high school 190 00:07:01,088 --> 00:07:03,339 - for her senior year... - Senior year! 191 00:07:03,381 --> 00:07:04,716 No? No one cares? 192 00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:08,011 This is usually a tough time for teens. 193 00:07:08,053 --> 00:07:10,430 This is when drugs often become an issue. 194 00:07:10,472 --> 00:07:12,390 ...to see if her parents would notice 195 00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:14,183 she should have already graduated. 196 00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:15,727 Time for babies having babies! 197 00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:17,854 Is "Babies Having Babies" on? 198 00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:20,983 That's my favorite show. Ow. 199 00:07:22,525 --> 00:07:25,236 Mother's Day Eve was the most joyous day of the year. 200 00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:28,115 Maeby, you're going to be late for school. 201 00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:30,617 And although they did share one Thanksgiving together... 202 00:07:30,659 --> 00:07:32,953 It's not on. 203 00:07:32,995 --> 00:07:34,621 ...they didn't realize they were doing so... 204 00:07:34,663 --> 00:07:36,456 Why would they preempt "Babies Having Babies" 205 00:07:36,498 --> 00:07:38,000 for a turkey cartoon? 206 00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:40,919 ...having celebrated it one week earlier 207 00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:43,005 when they found that duck in the cupboard, 208 00:07:43,046 --> 00:07:45,340 tried to cook it alive, got scared, and then 209 00:07:45,381 --> 00:07:47,425 ended up eating it at a Chinese restaurant. 210 00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,218 WOMAN:Okay, yeah, we cook duck for you. 211 00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:52,139 Nonetheless, Maeby was doing well in school 212 00:07:52,221 --> 00:07:53,932 and might have graduated had this not happened. 213 00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:56,643 LINDSAY (over machine): Look, I'm sorry, Tobias, 214 00:07:56,685 --> 00:07:58,227 but we're trying to save something 215 00:07:58,269 --> 00:08:00,396 that just couldn't be saved. 216 00:08:00,438 --> 00:08:02,607 Can you delete this so I can leave a message for Maeby? 217 00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:04,609 TOBIAS (over machine): Lindsay, I have met someone. 218 00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:06,736 It's not important who it is. 219 00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:09,197 Erase this message, and I'll leave her a mess... 220 00:08:09,238 --> 00:08:13,910 LINDSAY: Maeby, honey, Daddy has insisted on raising you alone. 221 00:08:13,952 --> 00:08:16,245 But at least her father was choked up. 222 00:08:16,287 --> 00:08:17,998 TOBIAS (voice breaking): Maeby, your daddy's 223 00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:19,875 not going to be around anymore. 224 00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:21,334 (sighs) 225 00:08:21,376 --> 00:08:22,961 (normal voice): Excuse me, I swallowed a bug there. 226 00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,504 Uh, your daddy's not going to be around anymore. 227 00:08:24,546 --> 00:08:26,255 WOMAN (over machine): This is the Widow Carr, 228 00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:28,341 and for some reason, it's my job to tell you that, 229 00:08:28,383 --> 00:08:31,136 since you never made payment, your house is being foreclosed. 230 00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:32,512 Also, Tobias, you got a callback 231 00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:33,722 for something called "The Big Bang Theory." 232 00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:35,557 Having lost her parents 233 00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:39,227 and her house, Maeby stopped bothering with high school, 234 00:08:39,268 --> 00:08:42,105 skipped her grandmother's trial, and headed to L.A. 235 00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:45,150 She now had to make sure that she had an income. 236 00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:46,860 - Guess what. I'll just tell you. - What? 237 00:08:46,902 --> 00:08:48,653 - Yeah. - 'Cause I feel like we'll be here forever, 238 00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:50,864 and I have a meeting. Um, you're fired. 239 00:08:50,906 --> 00:08:53,241 - Why? - Well, because you don't have a high school diploma, 240 00:08:53,282 --> 00:08:55,035 and we have a very strict policy here 241 00:08:55,077 --> 00:08:57,245 that everyone has to have a high school diploma, on account 242 00:08:57,286 --> 00:08:59,455 of the fact that Ron never graduated. 243 00:08:59,497 --> 00:09:00,790 - Is this really happening? - Actually, I was thinking 244 00:09:00,832 --> 00:09:02,375 I wasn't even gonna have to fire you 245 00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:04,460 'cause it's been on Deadline all day. 246 00:09:04,502 --> 00:09:05,795 MAEBY: How did they find out? 247 00:09:05,837 --> 00:09:06,880 KITTY: Does it even matter anymore? 248 00:09:06,922 --> 00:09:07,923 MAEBY: Yeah, it does. 249 00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:09,216 I told them. 250 00:09:09,257 --> 00:09:10,759 NARRATOR: With no parents, no job, 251 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:13,344 and no place to live, Maeby had squat, 252 00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:14,930 which is exactly what she decided to do... 253 00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:16,431 What? 254 00:09:16,472 --> 00:09:17,849 ...at her grandparents' penthouse. 255 00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:19,475 And that's when Maeby did 256 00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:20,810 what we in the entertainment industry 257 00:09:20,852 --> 00:09:23,813 - call "deadlining." - Come on. 258 00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:25,774 - (ostrich clucking) - LINDSAY: What do you think? 259 00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:27,776 On the plus side, each parent thought 260 00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:29,527 - she was with the other. - And we're not moving in; 261 00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:30,987 we're occupying a space with central air. 262 00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:32,614 So Maeby was as free as that bird. 263 00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:33,573 (bleep)! 264 00:09:33,615 --> 00:09:36,118 MARKY: Cindy, you okay? 265 00:09:36,159 --> 00:09:37,911 All right, this will be where she goes. 266 00:09:37,953 --> 00:09:40,455 So she retreated to the long abandoned model home, 267 00:09:40,496 --> 00:09:44,167 where she discovered it's a lot harder to get out 268 00:09:44,209 --> 00:09:47,462 of a Bluth home than into one. 269 00:09:47,503 --> 00:09:49,881 Pieces of (bleep). 270 00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:51,507 And maybe it was because 271 00:09:51,549 --> 00:09:53,843 she had never fully disappointed her parents, 272 00:09:53,885 --> 00:09:57,597 and they were getting older, or perhaps it was because 273 00:09:57,639 --> 00:09:58,974 there was no Internet at the model home... 274 00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:02,144 That is it-- this is like living in 1999. 275 00:10:02,185 --> 00:10:04,187 ...but that's when Maeby became a high school senior 276 00:10:04,229 --> 00:10:07,983 for the third time, and then a fourth, 277 00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:11,069 and then it just sort of became what she did. 278 00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:14,572 And it ultimately led to this. 279 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:16,699 So I'm still going to stay in high school 280 00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:18,076 until they notice me. 281 00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:19,494 You know, just, like, let them think, 282 00:10:19,535 --> 00:10:20,745 "Oh, no, should we be worried? 283 00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:22,371 - Is she really that immature?" - Yeah. 284 00:10:22,413 --> 00:10:24,207 Well, I mean, isn't it, uh, 285 00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:25,834 kind of a little immature 286 00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:29,004 to try and make your parents worry like that? 287 00:10:29,045 --> 00:10:30,964 Oh, that's good-- I'm gonna try and work that in there. 288 00:10:31,006 --> 00:10:32,465 Yeah-- no, I think it's in there. 289 00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:34,134 Yeah, well, let's get you in here before 290 00:10:34,176 --> 00:10:35,718 our-our third roommate shows up. That's Paul Haun. 291 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,846 Hi. So there's three people who live in here? 292 00:10:37,887 --> 00:10:39,848 Yeah, well, one guy is just kind of crashing here. 293 00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:42,892 - Well, it can't be worse than living with your dad. - It's not. 294 00:10:42,934 --> 00:10:44,519 No, it's not worse than that. 295 00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:46,229 And later, 296 00:10:46,271 --> 00:10:47,522 - she was joined by her uncle. - Hello. 297 00:10:47,563 --> 00:10:49,774 Didn't say it was your cousin. 298 00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:52,861 Now, that's smart, let him think there's a girl in here. 299 00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:54,279 Yeah, we were just complaining about roommates. 300 00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:56,072 (groans, sputters) P-Hound. 301 00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:58,033 - (George Michael chuckles) - I thought it was the other one. 302 00:10:58,074 --> 00:11:00,118 No, it-it was P-Hound, yeah. 303 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:03,121 He's the worst. See, I think if George Michael and I didn't have 304 00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:05,290 each other as roommates, we'd be going crazy. 305 00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:09,418 And for a moment, Maeby felt superior to her cousin-- 306 00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:11,504 - and her uncle for that matter. - Actually, 307 00:11:11,546 --> 00:11:13,256 have you told her about your software? 308 00:11:13,298 --> 00:11:14,341 No, software? 309 00:11:14,381 --> 00:11:16,509 He's got this privacy software. 310 00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:17,969 Keeps people from stealing your stuff-- tell her, pal. 311 00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:20,972 Maeby tried to hide her jealousy. 312 00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:23,725 So it's privacy software that's also antipiracy? 313 00:11:23,766 --> 00:11:25,310 Do you have a way of doing this? 314 00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:28,063 Well, it's just a Boolean-driven aggregation, really, 315 00:11:28,104 --> 00:11:30,232 of what programmers call "hacker-traps..." 316 00:11:30,273 --> 00:11:32,441 But as she listened to her cousin discuss 317 00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:36,112 computer technology she had no understanding of, 318 00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:39,574 she lost that feeling of superiority, 319 00:11:39,615 --> 00:11:41,117 and her self-esteem plummeted 320 00:11:41,159 --> 00:11:43,286 as she started to question the entirety 321 00:11:43,328 --> 00:11:45,454 of what she had done with her life 322 00:11:45,496 --> 00:11:47,207 for the last several years. 323 00:11:47,249 --> 00:11:50,459 ...and they want to steal your music and copy your movies 324 00:11:50,501 --> 00:11:53,504 or-or just look at your photos-- you know, this prevents that. 325 00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:56,007 It just neutralizes that so it's not even a threat. 326 00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:57,466 It's called Fakeblock. 327 00:11:57,508 --> 00:11:59,052 - Great name. - Yeah, well, you know, it's 328 00:11:59,094 --> 00:12:01,012 super low-hanging fruit. Someone's gonna do it. 329 00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:02,680 We're just trying to be those guys, you know. 330 00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:04,140 I don't understand a word of it, but it works. 331 00:12:04,182 --> 00:12:05,432 You should see his Facebook page. 332 00:12:05,474 --> 00:12:07,185 Doesn't have a friend on it. 333 00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:08,978 Of course, that last part 334 00:12:09,020 --> 00:12:10,230 had nothing to do with Fakeblock... 335 00:12:10,272 --> 00:12:11,940 Thank you, Dad. 336 00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:15,777 ...but it did help George Michael's self-esteem. 337 00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:19,822 NARRATOR: Maeby was feeling discouraged 338 00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:21,616 as she got back on the bus for high school. 339 00:12:21,657 --> 00:12:24,535 Hey, you want to get high with us behind the gym? 340 00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:25,954 Wait, we don't know her. 341 00:12:25,995 --> 00:12:27,580 I hear there's an undercover cop at school. 342 00:12:27,622 --> 00:12:29,165 Can you imagine what kind of loser pretends 343 00:12:29,207 --> 00:12:31,334 to be in high school when they're in their 20s? 344 00:12:31,376 --> 00:12:32,794 Well, it's pretty gutsy, right? 345 00:12:32,835 --> 00:12:35,546 I mean, it's better to take the risk, right? 346 00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,506 - Yeah, maybe you're right. - Yeah, maybe you're right. 347 00:12:38,383 --> 00:12:40,427 BOTH: Cop. 348 00:12:40,467 --> 00:12:41,803 Hey, how was your tutor? He's not gonna 349 00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:42,971 take you away from me, is he? 350 00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:44,055 Well, not until his software hits 351 00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:45,932 and he can buy me an apartment. 352 00:12:45,974 --> 00:12:47,474 I'm living in a (bleep)hole. 353 00:12:47,516 --> 00:12:48,851 I hear they're hiring at Chipotle. 354 00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:50,812 And that's when Maeby realized 355 00:12:50,853 --> 00:12:53,689 maybe she should have graduated high school. 356 00:12:53,731 --> 00:12:55,066 Can I get a Macallan 12 neat? 357 00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:57,360 - Water back. - I.D.? 358 00:12:57,402 --> 00:12:59,946 Actually, can we make it-- uh, marry me-- 359 00:12:59,988 --> 00:13:01,197 a Wild Turkey? 360 00:13:01,239 --> 00:13:02,573 I still need to see some I.D. 361 00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:04,575 - Right. There you go. - Thank you. 362 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:06,369 I'm supposed to believe you're 17? 363 00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:07,954 Oh, no, sorry. 364 00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:09,998 That's my fake for sneaking back into high school. 365 00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:11,416 Here we go-- 23. 366 00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:13,168 Oh, you're Maeby. Well, you can have one, 367 00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:14,752 but you got quite a bar tab. 368 00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:18,547 MAEBY: I got to graduate. 369 00:13:18,589 --> 00:13:20,425 I mean, I got to start bringing some cash in, you know. 370 00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:22,302 - Yeah. - Everyone's just passing me by. 371 00:13:22,344 --> 00:13:24,429 George Michael, Kitty Sanchez. 372 00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:26,306 CARTER: Drinks for the house. 373 00:13:26,348 --> 00:13:27,807 - (laughter) - This guy? 374 00:13:27,849 --> 00:13:29,434 These guys are making a fortune off that 375 00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:31,102 "To Entrap a Local Predator" show they're on. 376 00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:32,228 TAYLOR: Were. 377 00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:33,729 Won't let us shoot in Laguna. 378 00:13:33,771 --> 00:13:36,191 Are you guys looking for a new bait house? 379 00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:37,566 And that's how she made enough money 380 00:13:37,608 --> 00:13:39,735 to at least pay for her bar tab. 381 00:13:39,777 --> 00:13:40,903 PERFECTO: Hey, guys. 382 00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:42,405 - Hey, Perfecto! - Hey. 383 00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:44,073 Isn't this guy a little too young to be in here? 384 00:13:44,115 --> 00:13:46,117 No, no, no, he's with us. 385 00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:47,869 But later, when returning from the restroom, 386 00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:50,079 - she noticed this. - BARTENDER: So, you fitting in 387 00:13:50,121 --> 00:13:52,081 - over there at the high school? - He's a cop. 388 00:13:52,123 --> 00:13:53,291 BARTENDER: They accepting you? 389 00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:57,962 And as she returned to the high school for eighth period, 390 00:13:58,004 --> 00:14:00,631 even getting a diploma seemed to be in jeopardy. 391 00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,591 Barry? 392 00:14:02,633 --> 00:14:04,511 Maeby, you scared the be-(bleep) out of me. 393 00:14:04,551 --> 00:14:06,429 What are you doing here? 394 00:14:06,471 --> 00:14:07,847 Well, I could ask you the same thing. 395 00:14:07,889 --> 00:14:09,556 I go to high school here. 396 00:14:09,598 --> 00:14:11,059 I could answer the same thing. 397 00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:12,601 I was just looking for something more believable. 398 00:14:12,643 --> 00:14:14,979 Speaking of believable, I was going to ask you 399 00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:16,147 a question about that. 400 00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:17,357 Um, can somebody get kicked out 401 00:14:17,399 --> 00:14:19,025 of high school if they're too old? 402 00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:20,651 I think I was made at a bar. 403 00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:23,238 I know this part of the law very, very well. 404 00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:25,865 After 21, it is illegal for you to enroll 405 00:14:25,907 --> 00:14:28,034 in high school in the state of California. 406 00:14:28,076 --> 00:14:30,370 As a matter of fact, you cannot even lurk. 407 00:14:30,412 --> 00:14:31,704 (scoffs) "Lurk." 408 00:14:31,746 --> 00:14:33,081 What, do they got cameras in the bushes? 409 00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:35,041 Why would they do that? You can't even 410 00:14:35,083 --> 00:14:36,709 see into the locker rooms from there. 411 00:14:36,751 --> 00:14:39,254 Okay, so what do I do? Because the guy who caught me 412 00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:41,214 - goes to school with me. - Oh, well, that's easy. 413 00:14:41,256 --> 00:14:44,259 You get something incriminating on him. 414 00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:46,511 Call me in the office, we'll discuss it, 415 00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:48,054 and then I can also keep a record, 416 00:14:48,096 --> 00:14:49,764 you know, for billing and so forth. 417 00:14:49,805 --> 00:14:51,516 Yeah, well, maybe I'll just keep a record of it, too, 418 00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:53,309 so I can follow up with my own bill. 419 00:14:53,351 --> 00:14:54,936 (laughs): Oh, very good. 420 00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:57,522 You should be the lawyer. Very good. Pro bono. 421 00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:59,232 Knowing that she could very well 422 00:14:59,274 --> 00:15:00,733 be kicked out of school, 423 00:15:00,775 --> 00:15:03,194 Maeby went in search of an overdue check 424 00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:04,612 at the penthouse. 425 00:15:04,653 --> 00:15:06,489 And as she was checking out the mail... 426 00:15:06,531 --> 00:15:08,366 - (ostrich squawking) - Oh, my God! 427 00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:11,411 ...she ran into an ostrich in heat 428 00:15:11,453 --> 00:15:13,037 - that was interested - Here, that way, that way. 429 00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:14,747 in checking out the female. 430 00:15:14,789 --> 00:15:16,958 And she wouldn't even let me get a cat. 431 00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:18,626 And after freeing the ostrich 432 00:15:18,667 --> 00:15:21,879 to eventually find love on the adjoining balcony, 433 00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:26,092 she was back searching for a long overdue royalty check. 434 00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:28,386 In fact, it had arrived one day earlier. 435 00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:32,056 "From Gangie for facelift"? Mother. 436 00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:34,850 But she did find that she was being honored 437 00:15:34,892 --> 00:15:36,936 at an award show dedicated to the achievements 438 00:15:36,978 --> 00:15:39,897 of young people in the entertainment business. 439 00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:41,816 I'm getting an Opie? 440 00:15:41,857 --> 00:15:43,859 And it did boost her esteem. 441 00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:46,279 - Hey. - The only bigger honor 442 00:15:46,321 --> 00:15:48,239 would be having an award like that 443 00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:50,283 named after you, I guess. 444 00:15:50,325 --> 00:15:51,867 Days later, however, 445 00:15:51,909 --> 00:15:54,162 she was called to Donny Richter's classroom. 446 00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:56,122 - Hey, you wanted to see me? - Mm, yeah. 447 00:15:56,164 --> 00:15:57,665 I got you tacos. 448 00:15:57,706 --> 00:15:59,750 I hope that's okay, because you're 449 00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:01,961 going to sit here through lunch and study. 450 00:16:02,003 --> 00:16:03,296 No, I can't. I can't. 451 00:16:03,338 --> 00:16:05,465 Young lady, you better pull it together 452 00:16:05,507 --> 00:16:07,008 or you're not going to graduate. 453 00:16:07,049 --> 00:16:09,093 What is it going to take to get you to focus? 454 00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:10,345 Are you on drugs? 455 00:16:10,386 --> 00:16:11,846 Because, from what I hear, 456 00:16:11,887 --> 00:16:13,931 there might be an undercover cop at this school. 457 00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,724 In fact, it was an undercover cop 458 00:16:15,766 --> 00:16:18,019 she was searching for a way to incriminate. 459 00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:19,812 How long do you want to stay in high school? 460 00:16:19,854 --> 00:16:22,315 - You're 17. - And that's when she remembered 461 00:16:22,357 --> 00:16:24,859 that Perfecto thought she was 17, too. 462 00:16:24,900 --> 00:16:27,445 You know what? I think I will do better 463 00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:29,947 once I get a little Mexican in me. 464 00:16:33,784 --> 00:16:36,829 NARRATOR:Maeby got her cousin to drive her to the Opies 465 00:16:36,871 --> 00:16:39,207 so she could impress him with her achievements. 466 00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:41,376 Well, I'm going to go mingle with a bunch of 13-year-olds 467 00:16:41,417 --> 00:16:42,960 who think they can still play fifth grade. 468 00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:44,587 - Have fun. - I'll catch up. 469 00:16:44,629 --> 00:16:46,839 - And Maeby ran into her old - Oh, my gosh. 470 00:16:46,881 --> 00:16:49,133 - studio boss, Mort Meyers. - As I live and breathe. 471 00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:50,426 I'm actually getting 472 00:16:50,468 --> 00:16:51,886 the lifetime achievement Opie tonight. 473 00:16:51,927 --> 00:16:53,137 I'm very sorry. 474 00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:54,514 - (laughs): Yeah. - No, 475 00:16:54,556 --> 00:16:55,973 they only give that award away 476 00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,517 to somebody after they die or, 477 00:16:57,559 --> 00:16:59,561 even worse, after your career is dead. 478 00:16:59,602 --> 00:17:00,769 Really? 479 00:17:00,811 --> 00:17:02,271 Well, consider yourself lucky. 480 00:17:02,313 --> 00:17:04,440 They told you your career was over. 481 00:17:04,482 --> 00:17:06,693 I didn't find out until I was locked out of my office, 482 00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:09,153 'cause, see, I passed on "Hunger Games." 483 00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:11,364 - Mm. - It wasn't the most graceful of exits. 484 00:17:11,406 --> 00:17:13,199 That's the way the cookie crumbles. 485 00:17:13,241 --> 00:17:14,701 This is for you. 486 00:17:14,742 --> 00:17:16,827 Thanks, man. 487 00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:18,079 No, actually, 488 00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:19,497 the exit was pretty graceful. 489 00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,082 I think I just remember it that way 490 00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:23,251 'cause it got dicey when I was sneaking back in 491 00:17:23,292 --> 00:17:25,211 to take a (bleep) on Sid's desk. 492 00:17:25,253 --> 00:17:27,296 (grunting) 493 00:17:27,338 --> 00:17:30,049 (strained grunting) 494 00:17:31,593 --> 00:17:33,052 But do what I do. 495 00:17:33,094 --> 00:17:35,555 When they kick you out of the business, save face 496 00:17:35,597 --> 00:17:38,266 by starting your own Internet company. 497 00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:40,184 We're having a big announcement today. 498 00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:41,310 You started an Internet company? 499 00:17:41,352 --> 00:17:42,811 It's the real deal. 500 00:17:42,853 --> 00:17:44,689 It's a system that automates provisioning... 501 00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:46,691 NARRATOR:And once again, she found herself with someone 502 00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:49,110 who had not only moved on with their life, 503 00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:51,571 but done so in ways she couldn't understand. 504 00:17:51,613 --> 00:17:53,155 ...overseas financial transactions. 505 00:17:53,197 --> 00:17:55,241 - It's called Schnoodle. - Schnoodle? 506 00:17:55,283 --> 00:17:57,410 Take a hat; we got 18,000 of them. 507 00:17:57,452 --> 00:17:59,036 And that's when Maeby ran into a friend 508 00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:00,538 she knew from her days at Imagine. 509 00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:01,623 Rebel. 510 00:18:01,664 --> 00:18:03,124 - Hi. How are you? - In hell. 511 00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:04,709 Ah, I hate the Opies. 512 00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:06,919 But whenever Bryce gets pregnant, guess who gets a call? 513 00:18:06,961 --> 00:18:09,046 And you're getting the lifetime achievement award, huh? 514 00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:11,424 You know, I can laugh about it, I can laugh 515 00:18:11,466 --> 00:18:13,217 because I'm actually on the upswing. 516 00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:14,885 I was just telling Mort here 517 00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:17,012 that I've actually started my own Internet company. 518 00:18:17,054 --> 00:18:18,347 I was just about to tell you. 519 00:18:18,389 --> 00:18:19,682 Well, if you need a name, 520 00:18:19,724 --> 00:18:21,892 I'm the guy who came up with Schnoodle. 521 00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:23,728 - How do we know each other? - We don't. 522 00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:24,937 That's what it is. 523 00:18:24,979 --> 00:18:26,147 Well, Schnoodle's dead. 524 00:18:26,188 --> 00:18:27,231 Fakeblock is the next big thing. 525 00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:28,983 It's called Fakeblock. 526 00:18:29,024 --> 00:18:30,526 What's this? You're talking... talking about Fakeblock? 527 00:18:30,568 --> 00:18:32,153 Yes. Your privacy software. 528 00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:34,196 Oh. How does your privacy software work? 529 00:18:34,238 --> 00:18:36,198 - Huh? It's private. - Yes... 530 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:38,200 Can I talk to you for a second, please? 531 00:18:38,242 --> 00:18:40,536 - Yes. - I don't want people to know that I'm doing this. 532 00:18:40,578 --> 00:18:42,079 Everybody has to know about this, okay? 533 00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:43,539 This could be big for me. 534 00:18:43,581 --> 00:18:45,708 I could make Fakeblock huge. 535 00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:47,752 No, no, Maeby, there is no company. 536 00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:49,629 Fakeblock is just a software that I'm developing. 537 00:18:49,671 --> 00:18:51,922 And the whole point is that it's private. 538 00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:54,258 So you can't be telling people about it. 539 00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:55,843 No, we got to tell people about it. 540 00:18:55,884 --> 00:18:57,637 I just got a lifetime achievement award. 541 00:18:57,679 --> 00:18:59,180 I'm finished. 542 00:18:59,221 --> 00:19:00,682 And also, I think you should consider 543 00:19:00,723 --> 00:19:02,224 calling it "The" Fakeblock. 544 00:19:02,266 --> 00:19:03,768 It's cleaner. 545 00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:05,853 - Like "The Netflick." - It-It's just not ready. 546 00:19:05,894 --> 00:19:08,063 Okay, there's still a bunch of programming problems. 547 00:19:08,105 --> 00:19:09,440 You can get it ready, George Michael. 548 00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:11,066 What, you think they invite the animals 549 00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:12,985 and ask them to wait while they build the zoo? 550 00:19:13,027 --> 00:19:15,154 No, that would be a bloodbath. 551 00:19:15,196 --> 00:19:17,031 Yeah, a total (bleep) bloodbath. 552 00:19:17,072 --> 00:19:18,616 We have no money to start a business. 553 00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:20,326 Don't worry, I'll get the ball rolling 554 00:19:20,368 --> 00:19:23,037 with some free publicity when I accept my award. 555 00:19:23,078 --> 00:19:25,414 Come on, this could be my only chance to be a Harris. 556 00:19:25,456 --> 00:19:27,041 - A Harris? - All right, fine. 557 00:19:27,082 --> 00:19:28,917 You can still be the boss, okay? 558 00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:30,628 I just don't want people to know that I'm working with my cousin. 559 00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:32,505 So, you are not my cousin. 560 00:19:32,547 --> 00:19:34,882 You are not George Michael Bluth. 561 00:19:34,923 --> 00:19:36,592 I'm great with that. 562 00:19:36,634 --> 00:19:38,678 In fact, you know what might really help us sell it... 563 00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:42,223 Oh, heiress. You meant... You don't pronounce the "H." 564 00:19:42,264 --> 00:19:44,559 - And that's not what heiress means. - I pronounce the "H." 565 00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:46,352 No, but that's not how the word is... 566 00:19:46,394 --> 00:19:48,187 You know, we say words the way we say them for a reason. 567 00:19:48,229 --> 00:19:49,772 So what is this? 568 00:19:49,814 --> 00:19:51,940 Is this another one of these social networking things? 569 00:19:51,982 --> 00:19:53,526 Because I am so over those. 570 00:19:53,568 --> 00:19:56,111 I tried to deactivate my Facebook profile. 571 00:19:56,153 --> 00:19:59,114 It's easier to get out of Scientology. 572 00:19:59,156 --> 00:20:01,325 Well, this is actually the opposite of Facebook. 573 00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:03,118 It's the antisocial network. 574 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,037 It prevents piracy, right? 575 00:20:05,079 --> 00:20:06,455 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 576 00:20:06,497 --> 00:20:08,499 Rebel Alley. 577 00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:10,167 George Mi... Harris. 578 00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:12,294 George Maharis, huh? 579 00:20:12,336 --> 00:20:15,339 And that's how George Michael finally got that new name. 580 00:20:15,381 --> 00:20:17,717 It felt like a good fit-- strong, rugged... 581 00:20:17,759 --> 00:20:19,427 - Yes. - ...untainted. 582 00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:21,220 Yes, George Maharis. 583 00:20:21,262 --> 00:20:23,431 - Perfecto. - De nada. 584 00:20:23,472 --> 00:20:26,350 That's my undercover cop boyfriend. 585 00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:27,810 I'm trying to get him in bed. 586 00:20:27,852 --> 00:20:29,854 And Maeby set to work in trapping him 587 00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:32,732 - into becoming a predator. - Hey. I know why you're here. 588 00:20:32,774 --> 00:20:34,567 Promise me you won't tell anyone at school. 589 00:20:34,609 --> 00:20:36,611 I'm just a huge fan of teen stars. 590 00:20:36,652 --> 00:20:38,320 - Yeah. That's very convincing. - Yeah. 591 00:20:38,362 --> 00:20:40,364 You're a better actor than most of the kids here. 592 00:20:40,406 --> 00:20:42,157 - Even Zack and Cody. - Are they here? 593 00:20:42,199 --> 00:20:44,368 I thought they were filming a movie in Maui. 594 00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:47,121 Look, I may only be 17, Perfecto, 595 00:20:47,162 --> 00:20:48,289 but I know you're a cop. 596 00:20:48,330 --> 00:20:50,124 Yeah, there it is, that cop stare. 597 00:20:50,165 --> 00:20:52,752 I got to tell you, I find it very sexy. 598 00:20:52,794 --> 00:20:56,255 Okay. Okay, all right. 599 00:20:56,297 --> 00:20:58,925 I'm a cop. I'm working here undercover. 600 00:20:58,966 --> 00:21:00,802 We're hunting down an ex-CIA operative named Esteves 601 00:21:00,843 --> 00:21:02,094 who's gone rogue, and... 602 00:21:02,136 --> 00:21:04,346 It's the kids from "Modern Family." 603 00:21:04,388 --> 00:21:06,974 Sorry. He's become a drug kingpin 604 00:21:07,015 --> 00:21:08,893 and his son goes to Newport. There's something going down 605 00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:10,603 tonight or possibly even at Cinco and that... 606 00:21:10,645 --> 00:21:12,396 Rico! 607 00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:14,106 Wow, you are good. 608 00:21:14,148 --> 00:21:16,734 I have to be-- young lives depend on it. 609 00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:19,445 To be continued. 610 00:21:19,487 --> 00:21:21,572 You better believe it. 611 00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:23,240 Rico! 612 00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:25,701 On her way to accept her award, however, 613 00:21:25,743 --> 00:21:28,537 figuring she wouldn't be at an event like this again, 614 00:21:28,579 --> 00:21:31,707 she stopped for some coconut shrimp. 615 00:21:31,749 --> 00:21:35,837 But narrowly missed the $50,000 check with her name on it 616 00:21:35,878 --> 00:21:38,589 that her mother gave to her grandfather... 617 00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:42,802 - ...who gave it to this man. - Got the check. 618 00:21:42,844 --> 00:21:44,846 - Who gave it to this man. - Oh, man. 619 00:21:44,887 --> 00:21:46,681 - Whoa. - Oh. 620 00:21:46,722 --> 00:21:48,223 Although, in that moment, 621 00:21:48,265 --> 00:21:49,600 she did gain some respect for her mother 622 00:21:49,642 --> 00:21:51,644 ...a random act of senseless nonviolence. 623 00:21:51,686 --> 00:21:53,521 And perhaps that's why she chose to share 624 00:21:53,562 --> 00:21:55,314 - her problems with her. - So, what are you doing here? 625 00:21:55,356 --> 00:21:57,316 I'm getting a lifetime achievement award 626 00:21:57,358 --> 00:21:59,694 for my work in the entertainment business. 627 00:21:59,735 --> 00:22:01,111 I tried. 628 00:22:01,153 --> 00:22:02,864 Tell your therapist I tried. 629 00:22:02,905 --> 00:22:05,700 I'm not in therapy! 630 00:22:05,741 --> 00:22:07,493 Then I must have done something right. 631 00:22:07,535 --> 00:22:09,745 And soon, she was saying farewell to Hollywood 632 00:22:09,787 --> 00:22:12,331 in a way she hoped they'd remember. 633 00:22:12,373 --> 00:22:13,958 Thank you, Kirk Cameron, 634 00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:16,544 for that incredibly Bibley introduction. 635 00:22:16,585 --> 00:22:19,254 Okay, so tie yourself to your chair, 636 00:22:19,296 --> 00:22:21,716 because this is going to be a rough (bleep) ride. 637 00:22:21,757 --> 00:22:24,010 I'm leaving this (bleep) dying business 638 00:22:24,050 --> 00:22:25,887 to join the software game. 639 00:22:25,928 --> 00:22:27,596 Double (bleep) newsflash. 640 00:22:27,638 --> 00:22:30,307 I'm starting Fakeblock with George Maharis, 641 00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:31,934 the world's first antisocial network. 642 00:22:31,976 --> 00:22:33,978 So you know what? You can take this Opie 643 00:22:34,020 --> 00:22:36,230 and shove it up your (bleep), all right? 644 00:22:36,271 --> 00:22:38,190 Because I will (bleep) punt the next god(bleep) (bleep) 645 00:22:38,232 --> 00:22:40,568 who tells me I'm finished, you (bleep) (bleep)hats. 646 00:22:40,609 --> 00:22:42,486 So you can all go (bleep) yourselves! 647 00:22:42,528 --> 00:22:45,155 What? Sure. 648 00:22:45,197 --> 00:22:48,784 Please welcome the talented voices of Phineas and Ferb. 649 00:22:48,826 --> 00:22:50,995 Go (bleep) yourself! 650 00:22:52,162 --> 00:22:54,206 (bleep) you. 651 00:22:54,248 --> 00:22:57,418 And although she was pursued, she was able to shake security 652 00:22:57,459 --> 00:22:59,670 when a bigger problem occurred. 653 00:22:59,712 --> 00:23:01,881 - (explosion) - Right this way, sir. 654 00:23:01,923 --> 00:23:05,342 And after the explosion, Maeby saw her mother 655 00:23:05,384 --> 00:23:08,262 whoring out her principles, and quickly lost the respect 656 00:23:08,303 --> 00:23:09,805 - she had briefly held... - I'd like that very much. 657 00:23:09,847 --> 00:23:11,139 Sir, the press awaits. 658 00:23:11,181 --> 00:23:12,683 ...and decided to call her on it. 659 00:23:12,725 --> 00:23:14,393 Are you really gonna whore yourself out like that? 660 00:23:14,435 --> 00:23:16,353 - I am not a whore. - Yeah, you're a whore. 661 00:23:16,395 --> 00:23:18,104 As it turns out, the exchange was 662 00:23:18,146 --> 00:23:20,024 witnessed by Herbert Love's campaign manager, 663 00:23:20,066 --> 00:23:22,484 who, in possession of a third-party check 664 00:23:22,526 --> 00:23:24,570 from "Gangie IV: Face Lift," 665 00:23:24,612 --> 00:23:27,406 was looking to trade some greenbacks for a redhead. 666 00:23:27,448 --> 00:23:28,824 Ma'am, is she yours? 667 00:23:28,866 --> 00:23:30,743 Unfortunately. 668 00:23:30,785 --> 00:23:32,536 Herbert Love would like to see her. 669 00:23:32,578 --> 00:23:33,955 You can arrange that? 670 00:23:33,996 --> 00:23:36,498 Obviously, discretion is appreciated. 671 00:23:36,540 --> 00:23:38,208 And that's how Maeby got both the seed money 672 00:23:38,250 --> 00:23:41,127 - for her company... - I'm the discreetiest. 673 00:23:41,169 --> 00:23:43,714 And just to be clear, I want to hire her for prostitution. 674 00:23:43,756 --> 00:23:45,173 Yes, no, definitely. 675 00:23:45,215 --> 00:23:47,051 That was clear. I'm gonna charge you for that. 676 00:23:47,093 --> 00:23:49,303 ...and became her mother's pimp. 677 00:23:49,344 --> 00:23:51,555 Of course, the plan required getting back 678 00:23:51,597 --> 00:23:54,100 into her mother's good graces to trick her 679 00:23:54,140 --> 00:23:56,310 - into turning a trick. - Hi, sweetie. 680 00:23:56,351 --> 00:23:58,771 Free... bie. Hi. 681 00:23:58,813 --> 00:23:59,981 But the universe seemed to like the plan. 682 00:24:00,022 --> 00:24:01,356 And that's how Maeby was able 683 00:24:01,398 --> 00:24:02,942 to get her mother to meet Herbert 684 00:24:02,984 --> 00:24:04,819 at the club that Maeby still belonged to. 685 00:24:04,860 --> 00:24:06,821 ...I could never call him. 686 00:24:06,862 --> 00:24:08,739 I could call him for you. 687 00:24:08,781 --> 00:24:10,825 Technically, she still needed to talk her mother 688 00:24:10,866 --> 00:24:12,785 into having sex with him. 689 00:24:12,827 --> 00:24:15,830 But this was a woman who once wore this to a men's prison, 690 00:24:15,871 --> 00:24:18,874 so she felt she'd be okay. 691 00:24:18,916 --> 00:24:20,626 - And soon, she was pimping out - Can you believe this? 692 00:24:20,668 --> 00:24:23,838 George Michael's software company as well. 693 00:24:23,879 --> 00:24:25,422 Fakeblock-- it's exploding. 694 00:24:25,464 --> 00:24:27,049 I got my P.R. company fanning it. 695 00:24:27,091 --> 00:24:29,051 I even got it to the attention of Jim Cramer. 696 00:24:29,093 --> 00:24:30,260 Jim Cramer? 697 00:24:30,302 --> 00:24:32,138 He's a guy I've worked with, 698 00:24:32,178 --> 00:24:33,931 and he even mentioned it on "Mad Money." 699 00:24:33,973 --> 00:24:36,266 This Fakeblock thing is poised to explode! 700 00:24:36,308 --> 00:24:39,520 I never do this, hell, it's not even a stock yet. 701 00:24:39,561 --> 00:24:41,355 For all I know, it's not even real! 702 00:24:41,396 --> 00:24:43,816 But I think this might be going through the roof! 703 00:24:43,858 --> 00:24:47,111 I'm calling it my first "Hypothetical Buy." 704 00:24:47,153 --> 00:24:48,529 (bull bellows) 705 00:24:48,570 --> 00:24:49,947 And this weekend, don't forget to catch me 706 00:24:49,989 --> 00:24:51,532 on "Gangie IV." Here's a taste. 707 00:24:51,573 --> 00:24:53,367 This old lady's crazy! 708 00:24:53,408 --> 00:24:56,704 I'm raising the alert level from "Don't Leave the House" 709 00:24:56,745 --> 00:25:00,541 to "Board Up Your Windows!" 710 00:25:00,582 --> 00:25:02,543 Over the following days, Maeby was able 711 00:25:02,584 --> 00:25:05,420 to discreetly bring in cash from Herbert Love 712 00:25:05,462 --> 00:25:08,132 for services she got her mother to unknowingly render. 713 00:25:08,174 --> 00:25:11,844 Well, why don't you take him out to dinner? 714 00:25:11,886 --> 00:25:13,971 Hmm? Guys who are used to being charged-- 715 00:25:14,013 --> 00:25:15,639 I mean in charge, 716 00:25:15,681 --> 00:25:18,224 sometimes like it when the other person takes control. 717 00:25:18,266 --> 00:25:20,728 Hmm. Well, maybe I will. 718 00:25:20,769 --> 00:25:22,396 How about the Balboa Yacht Club, huh? 719 00:25:22,437 --> 00:25:24,439 - Put it on the family tab. - Of course. 720 00:25:24,481 --> 00:25:26,650 All right, have fun. I wish I could go out to dinner. 721 00:25:27,776 --> 00:25:29,235 What am I doing? This is disgusting. 722 00:25:29,277 --> 00:25:30,946 I've got money coming in. 723 00:25:30,988 --> 00:25:32,698 All the while putting money into the company... 724 00:25:32,740 --> 00:25:35,409 ...ultimate privacy on the Web until now. 725 00:25:35,450 --> 00:25:37,494 If you don't believe me, do a something search on it. 726 00:25:37,536 --> 00:25:40,497 ...and bringing in more cash as a result-- 727 00:25:40,539 --> 00:25:44,126 her self-esteem growing every day. 728 00:25:44,168 --> 00:25:45,836 Soon, she had enough money 729 00:25:45,878 --> 00:25:48,964 for an apartment and to set up a Fakeblock office. 730 00:25:49,006 --> 00:25:52,384 Right. Um, do you want some stock options? 731 00:25:52,426 --> 00:25:54,386 Yeah? All right, well, split it up with everyone. 732 00:25:54,428 --> 00:25:56,222 That's for everybody. 733 00:25:56,262 --> 00:25:59,808 She even got George Michael a cool retro company car. 734 00:25:59,850 --> 00:26:02,394 - Hey. - Hi. You actually rented a little office. 735 00:26:02,436 --> 00:26:04,438 Yeah. I don't want you to see it yet. Still setting it up. 736 00:26:04,479 --> 00:26:07,691 With a little help from a wealthy benefactor, Lucille 2. 737 00:26:07,733 --> 00:26:10,027 - Oh, Gangie. - No, Lucille 2. 738 00:26:10,069 --> 00:26:11,237 Austero. 739 00:26:11,277 --> 00:26:13,155 I don't know who that is. 740 00:26:13,197 --> 00:26:14,990 You don't? 741 00:26:15,032 --> 00:26:16,700 Never met the woman. 742 00:26:16,742 --> 00:26:19,120 Well, she'll be the one driving the staircar from now on. 743 00:26:19,161 --> 00:26:21,247 - It was part of the deal. - You gave her my car? 744 00:26:21,287 --> 00:26:23,082 Yeah, it's technically hers anyways, 745 00:26:23,124 --> 00:26:24,750 - 'cause of the Bluth Company. - Oh. 746 00:26:24,792 --> 00:26:27,753 - But I did get you her 1988 yellow Cadillac. - Yeah? 747 00:26:27,795 --> 00:26:29,797 She only uses it to and from hip replacements. 748 00:26:29,838 --> 00:26:31,297 (laughs) 749 00:26:31,339 --> 00:26:34,760 I guess that's only funny if you know who she is. 750 00:26:34,802 --> 00:26:37,054 And with the extra cash, even got around to spraying 751 00:26:37,096 --> 00:26:39,765 for pests at the model home where she was squatting. 752 00:26:39,807 --> 00:26:43,393 GOB: ...that I never got from you for the last 40 years. 753 00:26:43,435 --> 00:26:44,853 Hey, so what do I owe you? 754 00:26:44,895 --> 00:26:46,647 Here you go. 755 00:26:46,688 --> 00:26:49,566 That's funny, I actually used to date a guy named Steve Holt. 756 00:26:49,608 --> 00:26:51,359 Ha! Steve Holt! 757 00:26:51,401 --> 00:26:52,694 Yeah, that's the guy. 758 00:26:52,736 --> 00:26:55,114 Oh... (chuckles) 759 00:26:55,156 --> 00:26:57,449 Although the house wouldn't remain pest-free for long. 760 00:26:57,491 --> 00:26:59,743 Heck of a birthday this is shaping up to be. 761 00:26:59,785 --> 00:27:03,164 In fact, it was about to get worse. 762 00:27:03,205 --> 00:27:05,499 And Maeby's privacy was about to get violated... 763 00:27:05,540 --> 00:27:07,126 - Why did we stop? - We hit a bug. 764 00:27:07,168 --> 00:27:09,044 ...when her uncles barged in unannounced. 765 00:27:09,086 --> 00:27:11,839 I know, I know, I've got these things very, you know, 766 00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:13,799 - meticulously maintained. - (bleep) 767 00:27:13,841 --> 00:27:15,592 - There's... - There are some vultures. 768 00:27:15,634 --> 00:27:16,969 They might still smell Pete. 769 00:27:17,011 --> 00:27:18,637 And she still managed to continue 770 00:27:18,679 --> 00:27:20,597 seducing Perfecto into seducing her. 771 00:27:20,639 --> 00:27:21,974 I'm like, this top is completely see-through. 772 00:27:22,016 --> 00:27:23,433 I'll put it on and show you. 773 00:27:23,475 --> 00:27:25,186 I'm like, "Where am I supposed to wear this?" 774 00:27:25,227 --> 00:27:27,938 This high school senior was working three jobs. 775 00:27:27,980 --> 00:27:29,982 - Okay, buh-buh-buh-buh. - We have to be discreet. 776 00:27:30,024 --> 00:27:32,318 - And she did her jobs well. - What? - We have to be discreet! 777 00:27:32,358 --> 00:27:34,028 - Oh, right. - And soon, it was time 778 00:27:34,069 --> 00:27:36,822 for Maebyto show George Michael the office. 779 00:27:36,864 --> 00:27:39,365 (tires screeching) 780 00:27:41,785 --> 00:27:43,162 Welcome! 781 00:27:43,204 --> 00:27:44,872 - (Mort laughs) - I'm a softie; I hired the guy. 782 00:27:44,913 --> 00:27:46,832 He's more like a mascot than anything. 783 00:27:46,874 --> 00:27:48,334 Mort, where's my coffee? 784 00:27:48,374 --> 00:27:51,128 Oh, damn. Oh, stupid Mort. 785 00:27:51,170 --> 00:27:52,420 I know, it's okay, just focus. 786 00:27:52,462 --> 00:27:53,755 I'm going to take the cart 787 00:27:53,797 --> 00:27:55,757 and show George Michael his new office. 788 00:27:55,799 --> 00:27:57,634 Speechless, huh? 789 00:27:57,676 --> 00:27:59,178 How do I get back?! 790 00:27:59,220 --> 00:28:00,554 Of course, when Fakeblock hits, 791 00:28:00,595 --> 00:28:02,514 we're going to have to ramp up real fast. 792 00:28:02,556 --> 00:28:05,767 This hangar can hold over 500 nerds! 793 00:28:05,809 --> 00:28:08,103 Maeby, we can't afford this. 794 00:28:08,145 --> 00:28:10,939 - And my software isn't even ready. - Don't worry about that. 795 00:28:10,981 --> 00:28:12,482 Just worry about the app being done in time 796 00:28:12,524 --> 00:28:14,360 for the big public unveiling at Cinco. 797 00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:15,652 I'll get the money. 798 00:28:15,694 --> 00:28:16,987 Isn't that in, like, three days? 799 00:28:17,029 --> 00:28:18,322 Uh, no, that's Cinco de Mayo. 800 00:28:18,364 --> 00:28:20,157 Cinco de Quatro is in two days. 801 00:28:20,199 --> 00:28:22,910 But we'll be doing it on a boat, so I hope you don't get seasick. 802 00:28:22,951 --> 00:28:24,370 You're doing the keynote. 803 00:28:24,410 --> 00:28:27,915 You're responsible for all of this. 804 00:28:27,956 --> 00:28:31,126 - Come on. - Wh... No, I... 805 00:28:31,168 --> 00:28:33,295 I-I... I think we, uh... 806 00:28:33,337 --> 00:28:34,963 All of this. 807 00:28:35,005 --> 00:28:36,840 Oh, I think we should delay the keynote. 808 00:28:36,882 --> 00:28:39,260 You know, I'd say yes, but I don't think we can 809 00:28:39,301 --> 00:28:40,677 just because of the sheer amount of money 810 00:28:40,719 --> 00:28:42,096 that you have on the hook for it. 811 00:28:42,137 --> 00:28:44,681 Maeby, you're fired! 812 00:28:44,723 --> 00:28:46,350 (Mort panting) 813 00:28:46,392 --> 00:28:48,518 MORT: I got her coffee. 814 00:28:50,145 --> 00:28:53,357 NARRATOR:Maeby had just lost a big career option 815 00:28:53,399 --> 00:28:55,650 when she ran into the current squatter of the penthouse. 816 00:28:55,692 --> 00:28:57,278 - Hey. Hey. - Hey. Maeby. 817 00:28:57,319 --> 00:28:58,987 Wow. What are you doing here? 818 00:28:59,029 --> 00:29:01,031 I'm just here to see Lucille 2, actually. 819 00:29:01,073 --> 00:29:03,825 In fact, she was there to see Lucille 2's 820 00:29:03,867 --> 00:29:06,161 so-called foster child, Perfecto. 821 00:29:06,203 --> 00:29:08,080 ...talk to you about something very important. 822 00:29:08,122 --> 00:29:10,332 Yeah, um, Uncle Michael, 823 00:29:10,374 --> 00:29:11,959 I-I'm really sorry about that whole 824 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:13,710 "voting you out of the dorm" thing. 825 00:29:13,752 --> 00:29:16,088 - You know... - You know, we never really meant it to... 826 00:29:16,130 --> 00:29:17,505 Ah, I knew it. 827 00:29:17,547 --> 00:29:19,049 I knew you didn't understand it. 828 00:29:19,091 --> 00:29:20,675 I knew you guys were all... 829 00:29:20,717 --> 00:29:23,137 'Cause I didn't... I don't think I explained it 830 00:29:23,178 --> 00:29:24,554 very well, and it was very, very simple. 831 00:29:24,596 --> 00:29:25,973 I made it complicated. 832 00:29:26,014 --> 00:29:27,641 It was a four-person vote. 833 00:29:27,682 --> 00:29:30,394 You see, I voted against myself, so that P-Hound... 834 00:29:30,436 --> 00:29:32,396 And that's a way that-that scenario would've worked out. 835 00:29:32,438 --> 00:29:34,315 What I later realized is that there was another scenario-- 836 00:29:34,356 --> 00:29:35,565 Maeby. That there was another scenario, 837 00:29:35,607 --> 00:29:37,151 - Yeah. - a C scenario, scenario C, 838 00:29:37,192 --> 00:29:38,735 - where you... Okay. - I really got to get going. 839 00:29:38,777 --> 00:29:40,279 - All right, but before you do, - I got to... Yeah. 840 00:29:40,321 --> 00:29:42,114 I just need your signature here at the bottom. 841 00:29:42,156 --> 00:29:43,573 Doing a movie about 842 00:29:43,615 --> 00:29:45,533 - the family. - Yeah. Is that still happening? 843 00:29:45,575 --> 00:29:47,202 - What do you mean? - I got to tell you, 844 00:29:47,244 --> 00:29:48,370 I think movies are dead. 845 00:29:48,412 --> 00:29:50,789 Maybe it's a TV show. 846 00:29:50,831 --> 00:29:53,334 - Thank you. I owe you one. - Yeah. No, you don't. 847 00:29:53,375 --> 00:29:54,835 NARRATOR: And now a half hour late, 848 00:29:54,876 --> 00:29:56,920 Maeby went back to her plan 849 00:29:56,962 --> 00:29:59,214 of seducing an undercover cop. 850 00:29:59,256 --> 00:30:01,133 And that's when Lucille 2 851 00:30:01,175 --> 00:30:04,719 saw a very real girl in her imaginary boy's room. 852 00:30:06,138 --> 00:30:07,681 And after, secure that she had something 853 00:30:07,722 --> 00:30:10,767 with which to blackmail Perfecto, 854 00:30:10,809 --> 00:30:13,312 she sought out a late payment from the Love campaign 855 00:30:13,354 --> 00:30:15,063 at Cinco. As it turns out, 856 00:30:15,105 --> 00:30:17,732 the Love campaign had just taken care 857 00:30:17,774 --> 00:30:19,193 of a threat of their own. 858 00:30:19,234 --> 00:30:21,028 - Why can't I do this? - And that's when 859 00:30:21,069 --> 00:30:22,529 Maeby ran into her mother. 860 00:30:22,570 --> 00:30:23,947 Oh, Maeby. 861 00:30:23,989 --> 00:30:25,073 - Hey. - Oh, hey. 862 00:30:25,115 --> 00:30:26,533 I need to apologize to you. 863 00:30:26,574 --> 00:30:28,827 That check you've been looking for, 864 00:30:28,869 --> 00:30:30,454 I had it. 865 00:30:30,496 --> 00:30:31,663 "Had"? 866 00:30:31,705 --> 00:30:32,873 It's not everything, 867 00:30:32,914 --> 00:30:34,624 but here's some money. 868 00:30:34,666 --> 00:30:37,085 (chuckles) Mom, let go. 869 00:30:37,127 --> 00:30:38,420 (sighs) It's dirty money anyway. 870 00:30:38,462 --> 00:30:40,464 Love gave it to me. 871 00:30:40,506 --> 00:30:42,299 NARRATOR: Maeby felt bad. 872 00:30:42,341 --> 00:30:44,218 He gave you money directly? 873 00:30:44,259 --> 00:30:45,552 If you can believe that. 874 00:30:45,593 --> 00:30:47,304 Anyway, this is your money now, 875 00:30:47,346 --> 00:30:51,099 and if you choose to do facial reconstruction... 876 00:30:51,141 --> 00:30:53,477 I mean, the nose, right? 877 00:30:54,853 --> 00:30:57,314 But Maeby was more concerned 878 00:30:57,356 --> 00:30:59,941 about losing yet another income stream. 879 00:30:59,983 --> 00:31:02,736 So he's trying to snake the bottom bitch from my stable? 880 00:31:02,777 --> 00:31:05,406 And more importantly, her rep on the street. 881 00:31:05,447 --> 00:31:07,615 And she knew just who to go to about it. 882 00:31:07,657 --> 00:31:09,284 He stole money from me. 883 00:31:09,326 --> 00:31:11,453 He's a bully, so I want you 884 00:31:11,495 --> 00:31:13,663 to "bad cop" him for me a little, okay? 885 00:31:13,705 --> 00:31:14,956 So where is this bully? 886 00:31:14,998 --> 00:31:17,334 He's right there. 887 00:31:17,376 --> 00:31:18,668 The little guy with the cigarette? 888 00:31:18,710 --> 00:31:20,212 No, the ripped black guy behind him. 889 00:31:20,254 --> 00:31:22,089 - Oh, right. - Perfecto was nervous... 890 00:31:22,130 --> 00:31:24,258 I just... I just didn't look up high enough. 891 00:31:24,299 --> 00:31:26,301 ...but headed off to do as told. 892 00:31:26,343 --> 00:31:27,928 - Herbert Love, Herbert Love... - And later, 893 00:31:27,969 --> 00:31:29,555 after Herbert Love didn't return, 894 00:31:29,596 --> 00:31:31,681 - Perfecto did. - Hey, did you do it? 895 00:31:31,723 --> 00:31:32,933 It's taken care of. 896 00:31:32,974 --> 00:31:34,935 - Oh. - (shouting) 897 00:31:34,976 --> 00:31:36,728 But that's when the party got out of control. 898 00:31:36,770 --> 00:31:38,397 - (clamoring) - What's going on? 899 00:31:38,439 --> 00:31:39,647 Guess the blowback has started. 900 00:31:39,689 --> 00:31:40,941 Thank God I'm with an undercover cop. 901 00:31:40,982 --> 00:31:41,942 Pull out your gun. 902 00:31:41,983 --> 00:31:43,235 I don't have a gun. 903 00:31:43,277 --> 00:31:44,445 What kind of cop doesn't have a gun? 904 00:31:44,486 --> 00:31:46,321 Okay, I'm not a cop. 905 00:31:46,363 --> 00:31:48,323 But I saw your badge at the bar. 906 00:31:48,365 --> 00:31:51,618 In fact, it was an anti-bullying badge. 907 00:31:51,659 --> 00:31:53,537 He'd received it from a police-run 908 00:31:53,579 --> 00:31:55,789 anti-bullying program at school. 909 00:31:55,830 --> 00:31:57,207 You're never too old to stand up to a bully. 910 00:31:57,249 --> 00:31:59,209 PERFECTO:I made up all that stuff 911 00:31:59,251 --> 00:32:01,378 to impress you; I'm just a senior. 912 00:32:01,420 --> 00:32:03,088 A señor? 913 00:32:03,130 --> 00:32:04,506 I'm 17. 914 00:32:04,548 --> 00:32:06,174 Ha! 915 00:32:06,216 --> 00:32:08,051 You're 17? 916 00:32:08,093 --> 00:32:09,177 Yeah. 917 00:32:09,219 --> 00:32:11,012 I'm 23. 918 00:32:11,054 --> 00:32:12,556 Oh, that's a relief. 919 00:32:12,598 --> 00:32:14,391 I wasn't supposed to be driving with you. 920 00:32:14,433 --> 00:32:15,850 But we messed around. 921 00:32:15,892 --> 00:32:18,479 NARRATOR: Oh, they did more than that. 922 00:32:18,520 --> 00:32:19,938 (horn blows) 923 00:32:19,980 --> 00:32:21,523 Don't worry; nobody saw. 924 00:32:21,565 --> 00:32:23,775 Except Lucille 2. 925 00:32:23,817 --> 00:32:25,986 And that's when Maeby, who had spent so long 926 00:32:26,027 --> 00:32:29,531 lying to others and even herself, 927 00:32:29,573 --> 00:32:32,367 finally had to admit she had made a huge mis... 928 00:32:32,409 --> 00:32:34,536 Oh, no, I'm fine. 929 00:32:39,541 --> 00:32:41,668 ...Lucille 2 becomes less of a threat to Maeby. 930 00:32:41,709 --> 00:32:44,963 ...is an ongoing investigation, we are pretty certain 931 00:32:45,005 --> 00:32:47,633 that this is where Lucille Austero landed. 932 00:32:47,674 --> 00:32:49,968 It is the way she usually falls. 933 00:32:50,010 --> 00:32:51,428 Are you gonna run in her place? 934 00:32:51,470 --> 00:32:54,014 Hey, hey, hey, hey, let's not bury her yet. 935 00:32:54,055 --> 00:32:56,057 We are all still holding out hope 936 00:32:56,099 --> 00:32:58,185 that she is, indeed, found. 937 00:33:01,021 --> 00:33:02,439 But a new threat to Maeby emerges. 938 00:33:02,481 --> 00:33:03,690 Shh. Stop it. What? 939 00:33:03,731 --> 00:33:05,192 Can we at least have breakup sex? 940 00:33:05,233 --> 00:33:06,818 No, you're 17. 941 00:33:06,860 --> 00:33:08,320 I'm 23-year-old woman. 942 00:33:08,362 --> 00:33:10,030 If anyone found out that we already had sex, 943 00:33:10,071 --> 00:33:12,032 it would be a major felony. 944 00:33:12,073 --> 00:33:14,993 Congratulations. You got your first A. 945 00:33:15,035 --> 00:33:18,079 Oh, thank God. This A is finally gonna get me out of high school. 946 00:33:18,121 --> 00:33:20,790 No, sex offender, your A is going to jail. 947 00:33:20,832 --> 00:33:23,126 You can't arrest me; you're an algebra teacher. 948 00:33:23,168 --> 00:33:25,504 Donny Richter is an algebra teacher. 949 00:33:25,546 --> 00:33:27,214 I'm Rocky Richter. 950 00:33:27,255 --> 00:33:30,008 I told you there was an undercover cop in this school. 951 00:33:30,050 --> 00:33:31,051 (handcuffs clicking) 952 00:33:31,092 --> 00:33:32,719 Oh, God. 953 00:33:32,760 --> 00:33:34,668 I'm gonna have to live in Sudden Valley. 954 00:33:35,462 --> 00:33:38,400 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com