When we come back, we'll discuss civil rights.
Loma Vista, California's seeking to prevent their town...
...from operating as America's only truly nude city. Ripped By mstoll
Arguing against the right to be clothing-free...
...is frequent guest and legal heavyweight Rachel King.
And on behalf of nudity, Jared Franklin and Peter Bash.
- We'll be right back. - And we're clear.
Who the hell are Franklin and Bash?
I can't believe that's the real Piers Morgan.
His head looks so much tinier in person than on TV.
You think everyone's is tiny. You've got a huge head.
- You look like a Mardi Gras float. - He looks good. We gotta look great.
Hey, when we're out there, let me sit on the right.
Your right or the right of the camera?
- Your right's called "camera left." - Easy, high school A/V Club.
- I was president. - Whichever right shows my good side.
- Which good side? - This.
- Three minutes, guys. - Okay. Thank you.
Rachel, you okay? Need a touch up?
Thanks, Trish. I'm fine.
Hi. I'm Jared Franklin. This is...
Peter Bash. Heard great things about your work.
Thank you. What happened to Stanton?
- His plane is delayed in London. - It's too bad.
I was hoping to hit from the blue tees.
That's...
Golf.
First time on-screen?
Haven't seen our commercials?
- Franklin & Bash. We've got your back. - We've got your back.
Put your thumb down.
- Well, I do this... - Hey, you, big head. Smile.
- You've got something there. - What?
- Where? - In your teeth.
Oh, it's just the space between your incisors.
I doubt it'll show up on camera.
Just favour your left side. See you on the battlefield.
Yup.
Hey, dude, you see it?
- She's messing with us. - She said left side's my bad side.
- Need you on-stage in 30 seconds. - You got it.
Showtime.
Being naked is a freedom we're allotted straight from the womb, Piers.
To ban nudity not only violates...
...Loma Vista residents' individual liberties...
...it desecrates freedom itself, as outlined by our Founding Fathers.
It's more than a civil rights issue. You have the right to wear that tie.
- It's a great tie, Piers. - Thank you.
But you do seem very, very serious, Mr. Bash.
I don't find nudity funny.
And like that great tie, my body is my personal property.
And I get to decide my behaviour on my property.
And as you can see, this is a real estate carnival right here.
- I'm sure you know what I mean. - Actually, I don't. No.
A city ordinance can't have jurisdiction over my body...
...without violating my property rights.
Isn't it your right not to be exposed to Mr. Franklin's expression of freedom?
The argument that nudists...
...are merely being human overlooks our state's obscenity laws.
Nude is not lewd.
Unfortunately, there isn't any legal precedent to back that up.
Mr. Bash, Mr. Franklin?
Barnes v. Glen Theatre held that--
Barnes held that nudity is not covered by the First Amendment.
- Didn't let him finish. - Not fair.
Bet you can't cite one case.
- I can cite 50. - One will do.
- Bet whatever you want. - Yeah.
Well, well, it appears we have a little wager here. What are the terms?
If Mr. Franklin and Mr. Bash win...
...I will donate $5000 to their favourite charity.
This is live television. Piers has to entertain America.
How about this? If we win, you have to sing...
..."We Are Never Ever... - Ever.
- Getting Back Together" by Miss Taylor Swift.
- Fair enough. - And if the gentlemen were to lose?
And I'd like to thank Rachel King and Peter Bash and Jared Franklin.
That's all for us tonight. Good night.
And that's a wrap.
Good night, guys.
Fifty, you said. You only needed one.
I was under a lot of pressure.
- - City of Erie v. Tompkins Beach. - Erie would have proved your point.
Too bad you couldn't come up with it when it mattered. Gentlemen.
- Right. - Big fans of the show.
- Huge fans. - Any way we can get a picture?
- That would be amazing. My mom... - Hey, just leave it. Yeah?
Thanks.
It's great. I've heard from three ex-girlfriends since we were on Piers..
I gotta figure out how to be on TV naked often.
If I'd have known we were gonna nude up...
...l'd have restricted my carb intake... - Emily called.
- Emily? - Yep.
Asked if you did neck exercises to hold up your giant head.
That's pretty low. Even for someone your size.
It's accurate.
Your receptionist brought me back.
I'm your 10:00.
I was causing a little bit of a disturbance out there.
Would you excuse us? Just to make sure there's no more interruptions.
Sure.
Dude, that's August West.
The magician. He's played every casino on the Strip. He was just on Conan.
He used to do this trick called "Coffee and Cream"...
...where he'd stand at the top of the Eiffel Tower or Caesars Palace...
...with a cup of coffee. He's searching, looking around...
For cream?
And then he would disappear...
...and appear at the bottom a second later. It was insane.
You have no idea how lame you sound.
That's August West.
Don't embarrass me.
Hey.
- They're charging me with grand theft. - I'd say it's pretty grand.
Stealing a half-a-million-dollar diamond bracelet.
I didn't know you did this kind of corporate gig.
I don't. I wasn't there.
That looks like you, August.
Okay, here it is, guys.
I'm gonna tell you something, but it doesn't leave this room.
- Attorney-client privilege. - And magician's code.
I'm a magician.
- My famous trick... - Coffee and Cream.
The secret is...
...I have a twin brother.
Seriously, how do you do it?
His name is Tim.
He appears at the bottom as me.
A twin?
What, do you think he actually teleported?
No.
So Tim stole the bracelet?
- I'm afraid so. - Okay.
Okay, well, this... This is simple.
We just take this to the DA, tell them that Tim...
I would really rather if people didn't know about Tim.
For me, magic isn't about the money, all right?
It's not about the fame or whatever.
It's about making the audience believe that amazing things can happen.
They find out I have a twin brother, I mean...
- I know it sounds a little dumb. - No, it doesn't.
Maybe we can get proceedings sealed, Tim could be tried, but not in public.
I don't want Tim charged.
But do you wanna go to jail?
If I have to.
Okay, what set Tim off? Why did he do it?
Tim's whole life kind of didn't work out the way he'd hoped.
He's an angry guy. He lives in dive bars.
He blames the whole thing on me.
Well, we have 200 witnesses that saw August steal the bracelet.
But we can't point at the guy who actually did it.
Well, you said you were a magician, right?
Better. We're lawyers.
I'm both.
I went to your site to get tickets for your show...
...but how come you cancelled?
Well, I'm kind of taking a break from the whole Vegas thing.
We went for two weeks once.
Came home knowing how to speak Dutch.
I'm working on this magic trick.
- The Flaming Hand of Zeus. - Yeah.
- Make any item disappear. - We'll call.
Maybe we can go to the Magic Castle together sometime or something.
Oh, Magic Castle? It's shocking your girlfriend dumped you.
Damien.
I thought you got senior partnership at Fugate and Towne, but you...
- Oh, wait, that's Hanna. - Hanna, yeah. I hear she's doing great.
They have corporate jets. Partners take them any time.
Maybe you can hijack that one too. Get yourselves arrested again.
Oh, wow, look.
It's the mop who wiped the floor with your naked asses.
- What's she doing here? - Think it has to do with our interview?
Rachel, I think you know Jared Franklin and Peter Bash.
I'm not sure. Have we met?
Damien Karp. You don't remember, but we worked on...
Komatsu merger, 2004.
Yeah, that one worked out all right for everyone.
It did. You were just great on Piers Morgan.
Thank you.
I really enjoy doing that show. It's relaxing.
- If you came to gloat... - Gloating is for people...
...who aren't accustomed to winning. - She came on a job interview.
Which went very, very well.
- Really? - Working with her?
Nonsense. You're working for her.
From this moment on, we are now Infeld Daniels...
...and King. - King.
Yeah.
- Well, lunch? - Lovely.
Excuse us.
Awesome.
We just got poleaxed.
- Got what? - Poleaxed.
What's that mean?
- It was the word of the day. - We got...
We don't answer to her.
- We like answering to you. - You don't answer to anyone.
And after your unsanctioned summer associate weekend in Tijuana...
...I decided something.
Tijuana's awesome?
You know, I hired you boys...
...to shake up the zombie culture, but I think you've overcorrected.
You can't overcorrect zombie culture.
Well, getting put on felony probation for forcing an emergency landing...
...of a commercial jet comes awfully close.
Look, I've had my eye on Rachel for quite some time.
The way she humiliated you on television...
"Humiliated" is a strong word.
"Humiliated," actually it's an understatement.
Look, she's a damn good lawyer.
She's great with the press and has strong international ties.
Tijuana's international.
It's change, boys. Change.
Don't be like the rigid oak that snaps before the wind.
Be like the supple reed that bends and adapts.
The force is strong with this one.
- A termite? - I know.
- I'm still shaking. - Give me something.
They can cause our house to fall down and crush us.
On the list of organisms living in our house...
...I think termites are far down...
Or worse, entomb us in a coffin of your filth.
Gonna make these disappear into the flames of Zeus.
- We'll talk when we get home. - Okay, yeah, we can't go home.
- Not while the tent is up. - Tent?
Pindy, what did you do?
I'm having the house fumigated.
No one can enter for 72 hours.
Great.
Thanks, Pindy.
- Wait, check this out. - Now, stand over here.
Now, we haven't met before, have we?
No.
I think I'd remember meeting you.
- Strong move. - That is a beautiful bracelet.
Now, is this insured?
- Yeah, I think so. - I hope so.
I hope so, because I'm gonna mak e it disappear.
Is that okay with you?
There's the offer.
- Yeah, it's okay. - Yeah?
- Okay. Can I get a kiss for luck? - There's the acceptance.
- It's crazy, Tim looks just like August. - Great. There you go. All right.
Check your wrist.
Contract law, she agreed to the theft.
So we try it as a civil case.
Let's do it.
I'm about to start assigning cases. Wanted to give you first shot.
Well, you can assign them to someone else. I'm leaving.
I probably should have left when Hanna did.
I hope this isn't about Stanton hiring me.
Oh, gosh, no. Not at all. I just...
Well, although, if I needed more proof...
...he's never gonna hand the firm over to me...
You'll make a great judge.
It's not a national secret.
- I have to get elected to the bench first. - You will.
As long as you run a smart campaign.
Manage indiscretions.
L... I don't follow.
I play poker with Judge Bayles.
According to her, you did a sleep study a few years ago?
It was recorded and mailed to a few judges.
Everybody masturbates.
You just got videotaped doing it.
I'm thinking, but I...
You left your socks on and you point your toes when you climax.
- I was hasty. If you want me... - Right now you're not a candidate.
If a tape like that came out now, no one would really care.
Okay. Why are you telling me this?
The firm has my name on it now.
A former partner on the bench would only elevate the firm's status.
Well, maybe it never leaks, right?
In the digital age? There's no such thing as one copy of anything.
Everything leaks.
The only way for you to control this is to leak it yourself.
Leak it myself? Well, it's not like I kept a copy of it for my Facebook page.
I can't leak it if I don't have it.
But Judge Bayles has one, right?
Can I get a kiss for good luck? Just on the cheek.
Great. There you go.
All right, everybody ready?
Check your wrist.
That was cool. How did you do that?
I don't know.
Your Honour, I've watched it about 10 times, JFK style.
He goes back to the left, back. But I still don't know how he does it.
- It's a good trick. - A great trick.
Explain to me why I should grant you motion to dismiss.
There was an oral agreement between man on video and owner of bracelet.
Promised to make it disappear, she agreed.
He never promised to make it reappear.
Returning the bracelet feels like part of the contract.
Which is why this belongs in civil court so she can sue for return.
- There's no crime here. - We have a contract too.
A written one, between the defendant...
...and Taylor Industries, company that hired Mr. West.
We haven't been provided with a copy of this.
Because they already have one, or should.
Their client signed, as do all performers who do business with Taylor.
He agreed to return the premises and all property to its original state.
In case there's some universe where it isn't clear, it put Mr. West on notice.
No stealing allowed.
- There's his signature, right there. - I see it.
May we have a moment with our client?
Take two. Motion to dismiss is denied, the criminal proceedings to continue.
We are in recess.
I like recess. What's up with them?
Fellow magicians, one of them asked on the way in...
...why I was drunk at the track.
Tim is to go incognito when we're not working.
- Do you mind if I? - By all means.
You know, Tim signing as August hurts.
Tim running around as a drunk August doesn't help either.
God, magicians are cool, huh?
I bet we don't even have termites.
I don't wanna stay in the office.
- We could stay at my mom's. - Oh, my God, can we?
Hello.
- It's 11:30. She's working late. - Late, alone with the boss.
- This is how a lot of those movies start. - Yeah.
- I don't think this is one of those. - This could be one.
- No, no, it's not, it's not, really. - No, no.
You two roomies?
The whole is greater than the sum of our parts.
How's the August West case going?
It's good. Yeah.
You familiar with it?
August is my client. I brought him over.
Well, if you know August, then you must know about his...
Sorry.
Sworn to secrecy. It's magician's code, you know?
Well, let me tell you about one of my secrets.
August performed in Vegas for 15 years.
He's friends with Terrence Allen...
...who owns three casinos and is now shopping for a new law firm.
That's why we're defending August? So you can land a bigger fish?
And if this is such a big deal, why aren't you defending him...
...instead of us? - It's not that big.
If it was, I wouldn't let you two near it.
- What do you want from us? - I see potential.
- Thanks. - That's being wasted.
Thanks.
Oh, I've heard you talking about the zombie culture.
Let me tell you something.
I like zombies. They're predictable, they never get tired.
They don't take everyone for '70s roller disco nights on the firm's credit card.
I don't think you get the whole idea of zombies.
Well, I've got class.
You're going to the gym now?
Ballet, private studio.
Four times a week since I was 6.
Does wonders for your discipline.
Win this case.
Well, I guess we're gonna stay here tonight.
So much for sleeping with your mom.
Yep.
I'm up.
Hey, tool belt, what are you doing?
Putting up a wall.
- Why? - I just follow the work order.
Boys, come in, come in, come in. I'm just finishing up my exercises.
- There's a wall going up in our office. - We don't think it was your idea.
No, it wasn't.
Make Rachel stop.
I would like you to have this.
I'm not going to be using it anymore.
This is your Masamune sword.
Eight hundred years old.
Given to me by a direct descendant.
You love that sword.
I think we're finished.
We're tearing down that wall.
Gentlemen.
I wouldn't if I were you.
- This is starting to feel like a job. - Yeah.
Infeld's changed. Hasn't been the same since he got back from Africa.
Yeah, one thing's for sure. Whatever protection he gave us is gone.
We're on our own.
Yeah, his sword is all the protection I need.
- You know, he gave that to both of us. - I don't know that.
You happened to be standing closer.
He handed it to me because I can handle a sword.
No, it's for us to share.
You're out of your mind.
August said we had to leave Tim out of this.
We're just going in for a drink. A very early afternoon cocktail.
If this happens to be where Tim spends time and he gives up the bracelet.
- Just dumb luck. - Crazy dumb luck.
"Two for Tuesday. Well drinks, Thursday through Sunday."
- It's got a C rating. - How did we not know about this place?
C is for classy.
- My feet are sticking to the floor. - Yeah, it's good party traction.
I thought you said you were out of garnish.
I'm gonna do it one more time. This time slower.
Reach in there again and I'll crush your hand with my boobs.
Three bucks.
Vanishing waitress.
- Good trick. - Yeah.
Did your brother teach you that?
I don't... I don't have a brother, so, no.
Oh, what do I feel like having?
- Coffee. - With cream.
- Coffee and cream. - Coffee and cream.
Can we get two coffees and cream? Can we join you?
Yeah, if you're buying, sailor.
August told us about you, Tim.
And you are?
His lawyers. Criminal lawyers.
Look, if you return the bracelet today, we might get a deal from the DA.
He really told you about me.
- He must be scared, man. - He's worried about you, Tim.
He doesn't want you implicated.
He just doesn't want his reputation tarnished.
The only thing August worries about is whether or not he remains a star.
Well, he's looking at 10 years. Ten years.
For something you did.
I'm a fellow magician, and it's obvious you and August love magic.
What August does isn't magic.
It's a pageant.
- Why did you do it with him? - I told him I would.
I promised him after he kind of bailed me out of some scrape once, right?
Now he wants me to help him. That's ironic. Yeah.
I don't think so.
You said after what he did. What did he do?
Why don't you go ask him? I'm gonna go watch Bigfoot Hunters.
That's my wallet.
That's real magic.
He's pissed. We gotta find out why.
Hey, he just stole 30 bucks.
And my Quiznos card.
- I'm gonna call Carmen. - Yeah.
So Tim said August bailed him out.
- Yeah, financially. - Or literally.
He kind of seems like a guy who would actually get arrested.
- What? - Nothing.
- What's up? - Need you to check something.
August West's twin brother.
August West has a twin?
Now we have to kill Carmen. That one's on you.
His name is Tim Wesopka.
Look if he has any run-ins with the law.
Copy that.
I'll look into it, but I'm stuck here for a bit.
- Where? - Trying to find Pindy...
...a place where he can sleep. - Good luck.
What?
Pindar, what the hell are you doing?
If there's even a single drop of bodily fluid in this room...
...a simple luminol test will reveal it.
Oh, dear God.
It's everywhere. You're standing in it.
There's sperm everywhere. Why?
August.
- What's going on? - Pulling your case out of the fire.
I talked to the DA. Six months jail, three years' probation.
- Jail? - You're pleading guilty?
It's what's best for me.
No, it isn't. May we speak with August?
I'll meet you at the elevator.
- I'm sorry. - Wait. This is our case.
No such thing.
Every case is an Infeld Daniels and King case.
And if it's tanking, it's my job to fix it.
So file the plea deal paperwork in the morning.
- Okay, we're gonna go talk to August. - Let me be clear.
I'm gonna say this slowly so you'll understand.
You are not to talk to August. Not one word.
I didn't get that. Did you...? Could you say it one more time?
You're on felony probation for forcing a plane to land.
- One of the terms of that... - A monthly report that states...
...our employment is in good standing. - And Infeld signs off on that.
He did. Think of me as your jailor.
Because if you lose your jobs here, that's where you two will end up.
Clearly, Rachel King gets off on power.
Yup.
That do anything for you?
You know when a puppy gets scared and happy at once and pees the rug?
We could bail, blow it off. It's a free country.
Not for us. As long as she's filling out these reports.
Why doesn't she just fire us?
Maybe she enjoys torturing us.
- What? - My burrito is cold.
Mine's not. Wanna know why?
Flames of Zeus.
You stole that. I saw it on YouTube.
I did not steal it.
Magicians collaborate with each other.
We stand on the shoulders of our comrades.
We're like a family. A family of wizards.
- Hey, guys. So... - Hey.
Thank you. Tim was arrested.
November 14th, 1987 in Clark County, Nevada.
Right before they started doing Coffee and Cream.
All right, so after Tim promised to do Coffee and Cream...
...August bailed him out. What was Tim arrested for?
- Stealing a wallet. - He's good at that.
"That's real magic."
This was all 20 years ago. What did August do to Tim?
- I wish we could ask him. - Well, we can't.
But we could do the next best thing.
I don't understand.
You wanna leak our tape?
It's not exactly our tape.
Well, you did send it to me, right?
Yes, Your Honour, but that was just a computer error.
Ones and zeroes.
I apologise.
Who were you thinking of that night?
- Relevance, Your Honour? - I decide what's relevant, Mr. Karp.
Were you thinking of...
...me?
It was a sleep study. I just... l...
You got me.
Yes, I was totally thinking of you.
Well, very impressive.
Your rhythm, whoa.
May I have the file?
Oh, yes, you may.
- Thank you, Your Honour. - After I watch it one last time.
Come on, join me.
Awesome.
So you and August came here from Krakow to do magic together.
- For lawyers, you sure day-drink a lot. - Worked for Newman in The Verdict.
Here's what we're thinking. We're thinking...
...August was the one seduced by the Strip...
...while you continued to practise real magic.
You got mad because August kept ridiculing you for street magic...
...but then he went on Conan two weeks ago and did your act.
- Jump in any time. - You are doing great without me.
He called it gutter magic, okay?
- I mean, that's the irony. - Tell us more about the irony.
- Yeah, why don't you tell them? - Did you invite this guy?
Oh, look, it's two for Tuesday. I'm gonna grab a drink.
We've been instructed by our boss not to speak with him.
Well, I ain't talking to him.
Great. Then you can write me in prison.
Tim, why don't you ask him to say sorry for stealing?
No way.
- Try asking him why not. - Because I didn't steal his trick.
I taught him gutter magic when we were 10.
- Is that true? - He didn't steal my trick, okay?
He stole my life.
My life story, you know?
Picking pockets to feed myself, to pay my rent, you know?
The life he ridiculed.
And then he does that little piece in Vegas Magazine.
Gold standard in magic magazines. I'll get you subscription.
Makes it his story. Because people stopped going...
...to his Pull-a-Statue-of-Liberty- out-of-his-ass bullshit.
And I guess now he's re-inventing himself, right, as me.
Hey, Tim, without me, you'd be in prison.
Yeah, but you are, and that's the... Well, that's the irony.
You couldn't...
You could have asked, man.
I know.
I'm sorry.
I don't know what you want me to do. Should I give the bracelet back?
Returning the bracelet's admission of guilt.
I mean, this is a mess, guys.
It's great progress, what you're doing, but DA is gonna wanna have his scalp.
Come on, there's gotta be a better way.
How would you like to do your magic again? In front of an audience?
- What audience? - One of the toughest there is.
A jury.
So funny.
You get any sleep?
Between the indie band practising till 3 a. M...
...and the raccoons having sex in that trash can...
...seems like everybody's getting laid but me.
I think it was raccoons.
It might have been a raccoon and a cat, which is unnatural.
All seem to be having a great time.
Pretty sure that trash can was home to a threesome between a cat...
...a raccoon and a skunk.
- Then a rat went in too. - Okay, that's gross.
I don't know what he was doing.
Listen, I talked to the tenting company.
Yeah. They're gonna be here in an hour.
Gonna get rid of the tent and we can all go back in.
Actually, they won't be here till midnight, sorry.
Carmen, I haven't been in my room in three days.
Three days.
It's the indie band.
Okay, chemical dissipation from the tent is at 99.845 percent.
Statistically, that is safe.
I need to moisturise.
Touch me, I'm reptilian.
- One, two, three, four. - I'm going in.
- Damien, do you have a moment? - Not really. What's up, Ron?
I just wanna say, you are an inspiration to all of us.
Okay, all of whom?
Southern California Onanism Society.
- Onanism? - We're serial masturbators.
Thanks to your tape, I've decided to go public with it.
- You kidding? - There's a meeting Friday.
Red Lobster, Burbank. Our speaker dropped out.
- This conversation is officially over. - Lf you can come...
Exterminators have been in my... In my room.
Sorry, Pindy, it was either them or the bugs.
Termites may be gone, but God knows what's replaced it.
I'm gonna sterilise everything.
Yeah, well, knock yourself out.
Hey, what's this?
Jared's Flame of Zeus flash paper.
Don't touch that. Seriously.
I'm going for a run.
Bye.
Have a good run.
- Was this your plan? - Excuse me?
My tape did not exactly fade into obscurity.
Be patient.
It was tough for Bill Clinton those first few months too.
Eliot Spitzer, Anthony Weiner.
- Those guys... - Were brought down by scandal...
...but recovered.
The stigma of that tape will fade at exactly the right time.
I'm all about the long game, Damien.
You really know your way around this stuff.
I could use some help.
Stick around, I'll give it to you.
Mr. West, good to see you.
Your guilty plea papers. Thought you'd wanna take a last look.
- Glad you could make it, Tim. - Ready for the performance?
- Here they come. - I understand Mr. West has decided...
...to plead guilty. - Our client has had a change of heart.
No deal.
Mr. West, if you don't accept this deal, I can assure you...
...l'll be asking for jail time when you're convicted.
- And I'll get it. - One second.
I just wanna say I'm really, really sorry about our little misunderstanding.
There's no misunderstanding. You stole my bracelet.
We're going in.
- You're good? - I'm a little drunk.
Define "little."
Let's find out.
And what did Mr. West do after your bracelet disappeared?
He disappeared.
He said he needed some air. He never came back.
Thank you. No further questions.
Allison, were you a fan of August West before you went to watch him perform?
- Yes. - Were you secretly hoping...
...that he'd pick you out of the audience as a volunteer?
- Yes. - You looked excited on that video.
- I know I would've been. - Yeah, I guess I was.
In all that excitement, are you sure that the bracelet was taken at all?
Yes, I'm sure.
So between the time it was taken and right now, you haven't had it?
- No. - Really?
Objection. Acting incredulous and saying "really"...
...isn't a question. - Sustained.
I'm getting ready to shut this down...
...unless you go somewhere real fast, Mr. Bash.
Ms. Burien, I notice you're wearing a bracelet today.
- No. - Can you show the jury your wrist?
- Objection. What kind of...? - Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Do you recognise that bracelet?
The same bracelet I was wearing during the trick.
The same bracelet you say was stolen.
- No further questions. - Order.
Order. Order. What the...?
Who took my gavel? Bailiff.
- This is ridiculous. Bailiff. - You were right. Magic's pretty cool.
The defendant is a showman.
He's also a thief.
He made the bracelet disappear.
Fact it reappeared on Burien's wrist can be reconciled in one of two ways:
One, the defendant returned what he had stolen...
...which is an admission of guilt.
Or two, it's magic.
And ladies and gentlemen, there is no such thing as magic.
No such thing as magic?
Is that the kind of world you wanna live in?
Objection, Your Honour.
Mr. Everett just said there's no such thing as magic.
So, what's he so worried about?
Withdrawn.
Thanks. You can be my volunteer. May I?
Thanks again.
In a world where we can't believe in a lucky rabbit's foot or love...
...or a handkerchief disappearing into the flames of Zeus...
Damn.
Buddy. Buddy, want me to tag in?
It's okay. It's okay.
Oh, magic.
You'll have to excuse my partner. We're romantics.
And while I love him for this, in this case, he's wrong.
We live in a world of facts.
Sometimes things appear to be magic.
Always losing one sock in the dryer, a perfect sunset.
The Earth being round. But there are facts behind those things.
And the salient fact in this case is that Ms. Burien proved...
...she didn't know where her bracelet was.
Was it gone?
On her wrist the entire time?
It doesn't matter.
Because that's reasonable doubt that it was ever stolen.
Reasonable doubt.
That's enough to acquit.
I guess there is magic.
It's our legal system.
It's you.
Counsellor.
I think you dropped something.
Or did you doubt the great Franklin and Bash?
- Order. Order in the court. - Fellow magicians.
- Knock, knock. - Who's there?
Another "not guilty."
You are so good at screwing up that trick.
Was I not clear you were to cease all communication with August West?
We won the case, in case you didn't know.
That wasn't your question, was it?
- We didn't talk to August. - You did.
- You were in court with him. - Were we?
- August has a twin. - Who told you?
- You did. Just now. - Great poker face.
- Damn it. - You're a fantastic magician.
I am a fantastic magician. I am a fantastic magician.
- Am I interrupting? - Of course not.
So I just heard that we put your casino owner, Terrence Allen, on retainer.
Congratulations, great work. Well done.
Can we take this wall down?
- No. - I think we've proven we work better...
Have you ever summarised minutes of corporate audit meetings?
- I don't understand anything you said. - You will.
I'm having the boxes sent to your separate offices.
- I need them by 8 a.m. Tomorrow. - Tomorrow?
Or I could get in touch with your probation officer.
- Tomorrow morning. - Tomorrow morning.
- Stanton. - Gentlemen, I'm late.
Have an appointment at the dog groomers.
- You don't have a dog. - No. I've always wanted to groom one.
Are you okay? It's just lately...
...you've been acting different. - Yup.
You know, we just wanna make sure you're okay, like physically.
Does that look like an infirmed old man to you?
No.
Dude, I'm blind.
Well, walk it off.
I don't wanna do this summary stuff by myself.
Isn't that August West?
- Really? - The magician.
Okay, so, August, you're gonna dress as Tim now?
I'm dressed as Tim so I can celebrate with my brother today.
I'm totally confused.
- Good. - To magic.
- To magic.
It's Pindy.
Excuse me, I was arguing with my girlfriends over there...
Let me say you are too pretty to be arguing... You told me to be quiet.
Are you August West?
Yes, he is.
Can I have your autograph?
Yeah, sure. Do you have something I can sign?
Let's see, do you have a preference?
- Right. Right one. - Okay.
Okay.
All right, here it is.
- Thank you. - Yeah. Here's your pen.
- Pindar. - Again?
I booked us a six-month stint in Vegas.
We may have to work on our fan decorum a little bit.
Yes, this was my last appearance as August West.
I booked us as The Wesopka Brothers.
Wesopka Brothers? As a magician, I approve.
- You're not a magician. - I am a magician. Everyone toast.
I am a magician.
Harry Potter was based on me.
Yo, call for either of you. Guy's freaking out.
- Pindy. Excuse us. - Excuse us.
Yeah, you guys both should take it.
- Pindar. - Pindy.
- What? - Hey, Peter.
- How are you? - We're good.
- We're great. What's going on? - Classic good news, bad news.
Good news, the house is termite-free.
And we know that. What's the bad news?
Okay, it's actually kind of funny.
You know how they use phosphine in termite fumigation?
- No. - Pindy, this isn't funny at all yet.
Turns out...
...nitric acid, which is in some of my personal cleaning supply...
...becomes very unstable when it comes into contact with phosphine...
Pindar?
- Pindar? - I burned the house down.
There's some music, but I can't hear you guys anymore. Hello?
Did you hear what I said?
Burned the house down. Ripped By mstoll