- Okay. We're down two. - I'm gonna go for the spare.
- Don't be crazy. We only need two. - I got it. I got this.
Dude, come on. Ripped By mstoll
- It wasn't my fault. The pins moved. - Pindy.
- Who cares? - You don't understand the rules.
- "Who cares"? - People bowling isn't real.
Pindy, don't go home.
Charlie?
No. She's in Miami. It's my mom. She's called three times.
- I gotta take this. - All right.
Hey, Mom. Is everything okay?
L... Wha...? I'm sorry, say that again?
Okay, we're on our way.
- What? - Dude, she's been arrested.
- For what, unionising zoo animals? - For prostitution.
I'm telling you, this has to be a mistake.
- Has to be. - That's right.
Your mom's quirky, but she's not a pro.
So it doesn't matter if it's your husband...
...or a john in the back of your car.
The important thing is communication. Always talk.
Depending on what we're doing, talking's not always a possibility.
Peter, Jared. Oh, thank God you're here.
There's been a terrible misunderstanding. I'm not a prostitute.
See? Total misunderstanding.
- I'm a sex surrogate. - Me too.
- Yeah, I'm a sex surrogate. - You got that right.
- I thought you were starting a nursery. - Drought dried everything. Lost lease.
Why wouldn't you tell me that? Why wouldn't you talk to me?
One of my customers was a surrogate. She said I could shadow her.
And I saw how much she was helping people. She said I was a natural.
Referred clients to me, and it took off from there.
- And now I'm here. - Wait, wait, wait. I have a question.
You're a surro...? You have sex for money?
Technically, that's two questions.
And not all surrogates have sex with clients, right, Colleen?
Well, I don't have sex with most of my clients.
- She said "most." - I know.
- I heard her say it. - I heard her say it too.
Let's get back to the arrest.
Did you offer sex in exchange for money?
He certainly wanted it.
But I said, you know, "We'll see."
I meant that, you know, in time...
...if his treatment called for it.
But I could see that he was ready to confront his intimacy issues.
So I took him from the downstairs den...
You're doing this out of the house?
What happened next?
Oh, I took him to the room that I use for more confidential encounters.
Please don't say my bedroom.
Well, it has a wonderful view of the canyon, honey.
Where else am I to do this, my room?
All right, let's sort out the Oedipal issues later.
I know I'm having some, and you're not even my mom. Go on.
So to make him more comfortable...
...I took off my clothes, but I had on a thong.
Oh, no, I'm tasting copper. I think I might be having a stroke.
And then he arrested me.
Right.
I'm gonna talk to the DA, see who's assigned to the case.
- And we'll sort it out. - Mom, we posted your bail.
You should be out soon. We'll be waiting outside.
Just... Just please don't say anything to anyone ever.
I'm so sorry to drag you into this.
We'll take care of this, all right?
- Okay. - What?
- Get it over with. - What?
One shot, and then we move on.
Peter, your mom's in trouble, okay? And what she's doing is totally legit.
Acting like a baby every time she says "sex" that's not gonna help.
- You be calm if it was your mother? - My mom's not a hooker.
That was the one shot.
Dude, that was it. I'm done. I'm done. I'm good. Come on.
Ellen Swatello.
Drinking alone?
Well, this day just keeps getting better.
- How did you find me? - Your assistant.
I told them I was your brother and there was a family emergency.
And she believed you?
I was pretty good.
You're the DA on a prostitution case of mine, Colleen Bash.
It's Peter's mother.
She's a sex surrogate. She works out of her home office. Clients love her.
I'm sure they do.
- First prostitution offence? - Of course.
She'll get misdemeanour probation, a fine.
She'll have to register as a sex offender...
She can't. She'd never work again.
I know Colleen. She's not a hooker.
Someone's trying to make an example out of her.
Fine.
Fine...
I'll talk to my supervisor about getting the case dismissed.
Are we done?
Yeah. Yeah, I didn't see that coming.
Thanks.
Well, don't read anything into it.
I just hate my job right now, a little more than I hate you.
Do you wanna talk about it?
And I am a damn good prosecutor.
We own you in court, but other than me and Peter, I'm sure you...
I joined this office to put away real felons...
...but for seven years, I get to watch...
...lesser, ass-kissing attorneys move up...
...while I get transferred to Vice...
...prosecuting hookers like your pal's mother?
Must be your sparkling personality.
You know, in this light, with your guard down...
...you almost look human.
You're hitting on me.
All right, I am not hitting on...
My God. I'm hitting on you, aren't I?
You know what? After the day I've had...
The year.
- Let's go.
My place.
- You're kidding. - You got a problem with hate sex?
- This can only happen one time. - We go back to hating each other.
- I still hate you right now. - Yeah, me too.
Honey, I'm home.
So it turns out that my mom's friend was right.
Difference between surrogacy and prostitution is clear.
All we do is prove my mom was trying to educate, not gratify.
That won't even be necessary.
Look at you, doing the walk of shame through the office.
Not walk of shame, my friend. Walk of glory.
But I also told you to track down the DA of this case.
- Track her down I did. - Where you been?
- Ellen Swatello. - Get out of here.
I can't. I work here.
Oh, well, I see someone enjoyed a bit of the old in-out last night.
I remember my first time.
Okay, sir, last night was not my first time.
I was 16. She was 50.
- Tenant farmer's wife. - Sixteen, fifty.
I was delivering alfalfa. Or was it barley?
- Oh, it was springtime anyway. - Hello.
Send her back.
Swatello.
Okay, look, you guys do not know any of this. You can't let on.
Seriously. Sir?
Miss Swatello. Good morning to you.
Hi, Ellen. Nice shoes.
- You told them. - Oh, please.
Don't be too hard on poor Jared.
A great man once said, "Any love worth having...
...is worth shouting about from the rooftops."
You just made that up. You're the great man.
I talked to my supervisor about dismissing your mother's charge...
...and he won't go for it. Zero-tolerance.
What? Let me walk you out.
- Don't touch me. - Yeah, I don't... I don't wanna...
I don't wanna touch you.
Can we just summarise this?
Now, your mother is being tried as a prostitute...
...and you're going to trial against a woman you slept with...
...who appears to despise you.
Yeah, that about sums it up.
Well, have a nice day.
- I'll testify. - No. Mom, you can't testify.
- Your record will come into play. - Misdemeanours and infractions.
Which will show she thinks the law doesn't apply to her.
The jury hears that, they'll convict.
I need a doughnut. Doughnut?
- I'm good. - You can never have enough sugar.
I sent Peter to school with a full sleeve of Oreos and he got straight A's.
- Weighed 180 pounds in fourth grade. - Oh, you're my chunky monkey.
We'll meet you in court?
- Oh, yeah. - Okay.
- Okay. It's just around the corner. - Hi. How can I help you?
What's wrong with you? This is embarrassing...
...but you gotta stop treating her like your mom...
Treat her like a client.
I know. You're right, but she can't testify.
Fine.
Incoming.
- You shouldn't frighten my deputies. - You're Swatello's supervisor.
- So you know about my mother's case. - I may have heard about it.
I told you there was something.
If this has anything to do with Fugate and Towne, I've...
No animosity. You're the one who got fired for having sex...
...with the partner's daughter. - You ratted him out.
I don't bring charges to settle personal scores.
Although, in this case, I can't deny it's a perk.
You're still upset because you got your ass kicked in the election for DA.
That was a shellacking.
Your mother earned her arrest.
And she's going to earn her conviction.
Good day, gentlemen.
- You want a doughnut, don't you? - Little bit.
- You got a minute? - Yeah, what's up?
Your prospects of becoming a judge. You know Henry Dinsdale.
He's a judge at Santa Monica Superior Court. I've heard of him.
Well, thanks to me, he's heard of you.
He let it slip that he's in escrow on a house in Indian Wells.
- He's retiring? - Any day now.
If I got his endorsement, that would go a long way...
...towards getting me named his replacement.
Start by meeting him for drinks. He's expecting your call.
Excellent. Thank you.
So, detective, in your career, how many prostitution arrests have you made?
- In excess of 900. - In those, how many times...
...has the target identified themselves as a sex surrogate?
We're starting to see prostitutes call themselves surrogates...
...to avoid detection. - Multiple sessions...
...all with no sex. You must be a mind reader to guess...
Oh, her offering sex in exchange for money made it easier.
- Did you record the offer? - I wasn't wearing a wire.
So you're asking this jury to trust your memory...
...to tar her as a prostitute?
- Objection. Argumentative. - Withdrawn. No further questions.
Detective Spears, does Ms. Bash have an assistant?
Yes.
And doesn't she outsource overflow clients to other surrogates?
Yes.
She has an answering service?
Objection. What does this have to do with the charges?
If counsel would stop interrupting me.
Sorry.
Dude, you're apologising to opposing counsel?
Oh, no, he was interrupting.
Your Honour, the relevance of this questioning will become clear.
I hope so.
Detective, Ms. Bash pays people to market her services.
- She advertises in the L.A. Weekly. - Yes. In the classifieds.
So she has a team...
...people who benefited from her sex trade?
That's right.
Your Honour, the prosecution moves...
...to dismiss the charge against Colleen Bash...
Honey, we won.
- And add a violation of Penal Code Section 266.
Ms. Bash was part of a larger criminal enterprise.
- Pandering? Your Honour. - Motion granted. We're in recess.
What's going on?
- They're saying you're a pimp. - Carries three years prison.
Ms. Bash. Hi. I'm Rachel King.
I work with Peter and Jared.
You must be the one that put the wall up between Peter and Jared's office.
Do you mind if I talk to Peter and Jared for a moment?
Oh, certainly.
We didn't run this by you first, but this is my mother.
What kind of monster do you think I am?
- Shape-shifter. - Swamp demon.
That's not a real monster.
- How's it going? - Not good.
Treating it like the crime of the century.
Sounds like malicious prosecution.
- Hewett's gunning for me for years. - We need proof.
Considered "defence lawyer sleeping with the DA" angle of getting proof?
- How do you know that? - How do you think you know that?
Maybe I'm a shape-shifter.
Or my friend Instagrammed photos of you two grinding at the valet stand.
"Grinding?"
Gri... Yeah, it's more like dry-humping.
- Yeah. - It was a little...
- I don't... - Okay, okay, okay.
It was a rookie move. It won't happen again.
You're missing my point. You say someone's out to get Colleen.
And you have an in with the DA.
Are you suggesting I have sex to help win a case?
No, you already had sex with her. Maybe exploit it, find out what you can.
I'll try.
But I won't have sex with her again.
She makes me do things.
Okay, that was the last time.
My self-loathing is at a new high.
Or would that be low?
I would be so fired if Hewett found out I was sleeping with the enemy.
Guy's a total dick.
Yeah. And, man, does he hate your partner.
Is that what this case is about?
What are you doing? Stop.
You kissed me.
- Hey, you know what? We should prob... - Hey, a knock would be nice.
Coming out of the bathroom of my own apartment?
- What are you doing, Franklin? - Nothing. I was...
I was looking for this. And I can't find the other one, though. So...
- Oh, I saw it in the living room. - Great.
Why are you still here?
Well...
Hey, I think I know what Colleen's case is about.
Thanks for meeting me, Your Honour.
I do some teaching at Loyola, and...
And I borrow from your ruling in California v. Wellington.
Karp.
What kind of name is that? Is that Jewish?
No. Is that an issue?
Not anymore it isn't.
Joking.
You got me. That was very good.
Well, you must love your job. How long do you think you'll keep doing it?
Why are you asking me that?
It's just that the justice system needs you.
I hope you stay on for a very long time.
- Are you kissing my ass, son? - Of course not, sir.
Why not? What's wrong with my ass?
I'm sure your ass is fine. I'm sure it's an excellent ass.
- I was just saying... - Okay, we're done.
Sorry. We got sidetracked with the "ass" talk.
- Where are you gonna be Wednesday? - I have a deposition I'm supposed to...
Good. There's some people you should meet, if you wanna succeed me.
Oh, I am. I'll be there, of course.
Thanks for dinner.
You're welcome.
What are you doing?
- Oh, hey. - Hey.
Cassiopeia is visible tonight.
Is Cassiopeia at Rob Lowe's house? That's where you got that pointed.
Okay, Jared, a headless seal washed up on the beach today.
I called the lifeguard, the Malibu sheriff and the Center for Disease Control.
They say it was either a shark or a propeller.
I say Rob Lowe.
What's that?
Colleen's client list. Saw a note about it on Swatello's legal pad.
What?
I'll bet you did.
"Legal pad."
- This is what the DA's after. - Why?
I need you to find out.
Connect Hewett with somebody on this list.
There's one name I can't find anything about. This one right here.
You're standing really close to me right now.
And you smell like sex.
Pindy, I need you to find out all you can about Tim Lawson.
Got that?
- Thanks, Pindy. - Yep.
- Hey, Jared. - Yeah?
Wanna see Rob Lowe doing Pilates?
No.
So we think we can get a dismissal.
But you have to turn over your client list.
- Oh, no, I can't do that. - Mom, you're looking at prison.
I don't need your permission. I'm your lawyer.
- And I'm your mother. - Start acting like it.
I'm sorry. That... That's not how I meant it.
You know, when I met your father...
...he took my breath away.
I knew that if I wanted to keep him interested in the long term...
...I had to become the most exciting version of myself...
...hence the ashram, the harp lessons, the RV.
You know, but none of that mattered.
I mean, he got bored...
...and he left me.
He left both of us.
Maybe the problem wasn't us. Maybe the problem was him.
No, no. It was me. It was this ridiculous person I'd become.
I had never really been honest with him.
And, you know what, what I do now, it...
- You're being honest with people. - So don't make me betray that...
...by revealing my client list.
I have one question for you.
Where would you be without me?
An unburned-down house in Silver Lake.
Exactly. You're welcome. And while you two were out surfing...
I saw you eat it on that one wave. I laughed so hard.
Have something on my mother's case?
Spent all day tracking Tim Lawson. There's a reason I couldn't find him.
- You're totally incompetent? - He doesn't exist.
I cross-referenced Lawson's appointments with footage...
...from the guard gate at your mom's housing complex.
Kind of elitist, B.T. Dubs, huh?
Would you go on, please?
Every licence plate is photographed.
- Harrison Gingold? - District attorney of Los Angeles?
Doesn't want anybody to know he saw a surrogate.
Maybe pay him a visit.
Hello, Harrison.
Colleen. Sorry about this.
Sir, why are you bringing these charges against my mother?
I didn't.
Someone wants me out of this job. He must've found out, saw an opportunity.
Hewett.
Well, he wasn't lying about it not being about you.
You have to dismiss the charges.
Once the case was filed, it's out of my hands.
The district attorney dismissing a case...
...well, would raise more problems than it would solve.
- We only care about one problem. - My mother.
We have a subpoena. If you don't show up, we'll have marshals get you.
I said I was sorry.
This isn't worth the paper it's printed on.
- Why is that? - Executive privilege.
- I'm immune from having to testify. - That applies to politicians.
As well as district attorneys and their top deputies.
I'm sorry, Colleen. I wish I knew some way out of this.
- You do. - You just don't have the guts to use it.
We're done here.
You're too close to this, Peter. She's got to turn it over.
Ask Swatello if she'll testify.
She's low on the totem pole. Not covered by executive privilege.
Yeah, see, whenever we get together...
...hate sex breaks out.
Please don't send me back in there.
Thanks.
What is it?
A court order. We have to turn the book over tomorrow.
Means if she doesn't turn it over, she's in contempt.
And my mom's gonna be behind bars the whole trial.
I can't let that happen.
You don't like people, do you?
Where are Peter and Jared?
Oh, they left.
I was just about to leave myself.
You'd be wise to turn over your book, Ms. Bash.
- You're not my lawyer. - Yeah, but Peter and Jared are mine.
I like people fine.
I'm just not sure how I feel about you.
You know, I think there's another glass in Peter's office.
Can't vouch for how clean it is, though.
- You sure she's coming? - I texted her. She'll be here.
Oh, what did you say?
Are you questioning my texting?
- You know the power I have... - Oh, all I know is...
...you screwed up with those waitresses.
Would you stop with them? Text haiku was ahead of its time, okay?
Text haiku was the stupidest thing you've ever come up with.
- I'm selling an app. - What is wrong with you?
- Hi, Ellen. - Oh, hey there.
- Welcome to a public place. - I will leave you two alone.
No. Both of you. You went to Gingold?
And is this why you came over?
No. Not entirely.
You should tell us your part of Hewett's plan in setting my mother up.
I set your mother up? With Hewett?
- Admitted it. - That's what I'm saying.
Then why did Hewett pull me off the case?
- What? - When he heard you went to Gingold...
...he grilled me about whether or not I'd had discussions with you guys.
He thought I might have been involved with you.
Why would he assume you were with him?
He's heard me say how much I can't stand you.
- How often does that come up? - Almost every day for five years.
You know who you're like? Like that chick from Species.
The really sexy alien who destroys everyone she mates with.
- A great trilogy. - That's you. A good trilogy.
In spite of both of you, I'm sorry about your mother.
I wish there was more I could do.
- Did you say "sexy alien"? - Beyond.
- Come over later. - Midnight.
You are so gonna marry her.
I know.
I can't tell what's more fragile...
...your porcelain facade or what it's protecting.
No offence, but I have no interest in you analysing my state of mind.
When did you last have sex?
Excuse me?
A year, maybe longer?
Not that it's any of your business...
...but people think I slept my way to the top, so I'm careful...
Six years.
- That felt good. - I'm glad.
Why haven't you?
I'd rather not discuss.
Mom?
- Mo... - What was that?
- You can't just...
I was just trying to jolt you, make you see that you're open to your sexuality.
I know I am.
Excuse me.
Rachel. Is this a bad time to talk about tearing down that wall?
- Say another word, and I'll kill you. - Hello? Robert?
What's wrong?
Oh, I understand. So it won't go down.
Client has priapism, perpetual erection.
Dude, shut up.
- She gonna let us use the book? - Hadn't gotten there.
- What were you waiting for? - I have 100 answers.
But you're my boss, and you're my best friend...
...and she's your mom.
Okay, so I want you to lie down and pull your legs up to your head.
Always good advice.
No, no. Not... Not for that.
To get the blood into the upper part of your body.
Good. Now take that prescription.
Yes. Pseudoephedrine, 100 cc's.
You thinking what I'm thinking?
About the case.
Yeah.
Beyond that, I doubt it.
Nothing like a Russian massage.
You were right. I know that now.
I hope lvan wasn't too rough.
No. Ivan was awesome.
I thought other people would be joining us.
You wanna succeed me when I retire, don't you?
Very much so, sir.
My recommendation would kind of cinch it.
And I'm inclined to give it to you.
Thank you.
The only thing I want is...
...when I leave here today...
...I hope I have a new friend.
I'm honoured, Your Honour. I'd like to think we're already very close.
No, no, no. Not you.
Rachel King.
- She's an extraordinary woman. - She is.
What do you think the chances would be...
...of a guy like me having a date with her?
That'd be hard to estimate.
I'll bet you could find out.
I'll make some enquiries.
Can you guess what I'm going to do next?
Get yourself ready for court and dispense some justice.
I'm going to go powder my balls.
That was my next guess.
Mr. Franklin, Mr. Bash, did you bring the defendant's client list?
We did, Your Honour.
- Would you hand it to the bailiff? - No.
In that case, we request Ms. Bash be taken into custody.
It is our position that the contents of that book are protected.
By doctor-patient privilege.
That's ridiculous. California law sets forth what a doctor is...
...and a sexual surrogate... - Only because no one's ever tried.
Yeah, for good reason.
Social workers weren't granted confidentiality.
Or chiropractors. Both have limited doctor-patient privilege.
It is time to establish surrogacy as the healing art that it is.
Let's make law, Your Honour.
We have testimonials from patients willing to testify...
If they're willing to, why not turn over the book?
Because some are. Some aren't.
We're trying to protect their rights too.
You wanna make law? I'll give you a shot.
Show me defendant's deposition, the book can stay out.
We're just gonna need a few minutes to get the patients ready.
No patients. If I'm gonna qualify your client as a doctor...
...I need to hear it from her from the witness stand.
We're adjourned until tomorrow.
All right, we're in the game.
Mom, can you give us a moment? Maybe get us a doughnut?
Great idea.
It's one thing to have your mom be a surrogate...
...or walk in on her kissing your boss...
...or having her talk down a guy with a boner...
What was my point?
You don't want her telling what she does.
Too bad. We got a case to win.
No. I just don't wanna ask those questions.
I get it. You don't wanna talk about your mom's vagina.
I don't. I don't wanna talk about her vagina.
I'll talk about her vagina.
- You will? - Yeah.
I appreciate it.
No problem.
Can you just lay off the vagina jokes?
I'm trying to keep your mom's vagina out of jail.
Unbelievable.
- Where's Colleen? - She's inside.
You were with Swatello last night?
She's like mozzarella sticks.
- What? - You know they're bad for you.
You don't like eating them. But you just can't stop eating them.
- You are useless. - I'm good. I'm just a little dizzy.
You don't even have a tie.
Didn't have time to grab it. She was throwing things at me, pots and chairs.
- I think I saw a knife. - I got this. I got this. The...
The universe wants this to happen.
Okay.
Hey, hey.
I will give you 18 bucks for that sweet tie of yours.
As a surrogate, what is it you do?
I work with people having a hard time reaching their sexual potential.
Well, Mr. Hewett would say that that's what a prostitute does. Wouldn't you?
Yeah, I would, actually.
Without going into graphic detail, please...
...can you describe a typical session with a client?
I work more with couples than with one client.
- Why is that? - People who seek prostitutes...
...pay to have sex with them.
My patients pay me to teach them how to express themselves...
...to the people they love.
Can you give us an example of a success story?
Well, one of my first clients...
...was a woman who was about to divorce her husband.
Their sex life had become unfulfilling for both of them...
...and they'd been to psychiatrists and marriage counsellors.
All licensed physicians, yet they all failed.
- Were you able to help her? - Well, over time...
...I was able to help her realise that her marriage was worth fighting for.
How's that couple doing today?
They're expecting their second child.
So what you do, it really isn't about the sex.
Can you tell the jury what surrogacy is about?
Communication.
If I had known 20 years ago what I know now...
...maybe I could have saved my own family.
Your family's fine, Mom.
- I love you. - I love you too, Peter.
- Objection. - He's objecting to love?
I've heard enough.
I'm ruling the defendant is a doctor as set forth by the evidence code.
Ms. Bash, you may keep your book.
- How did things go with Dinsdale? - It's complicated.
You've been out with him twice. Is he giving the endorsement?
- That depends. - On what?
Well, actually, it's kind of funny.
Told Dinsdale you'd hook me up with him.
How do you do that? Just dinner. What you do from there...
If you don't fix this, I will make sure that when you Google "Karp"...
...it will mean an unspeakable sex act.
You'll never get a hotel reservation, let alone a judicial appointment.
- Was there anything else? - No. That about does it.
Being able to keep the book is good, but we have to come up with better.
We showed your mom's a doctor sometimes.
Now we gotta show that the detective was wrong about that night.
You are way more alert than earlier.
Second wind.
You didn't have a first wind.
You Miyagi'd me...
...making me question my mother myself.
No one was gonna cry if I talked about your mom's vagina.
No, I had to do it.
Thanks, dude. You helped me get comfortable with my mom's vagina.
- Don't wanna know. - You sure?
Positive. Here. Catch.
One good thing about having to pack up your office?
No one seems to notice if you make a zip drive of your boss' e-mails.
What?
Well, after you got the book excluded...
- Good work, by the way. - Thank you.
- Hewett was, as you might have guessed, pissed.
Told me that I'm being transferred...
...to Lancaster Traffic Court, effective tomorrow.
Lancaster, where legal careers go to die. Sorry.
Thanks. Sounds so much better when you put it that way.
Well...
...you can thank me later.
I can thank you now.
- What did I just say? - You said "later."
Oh, these are good.
- How good? - Smoking-gun good. Look.
"When I get Gingold out of the way, I'll be able to assign you wherever I want."
Never gonna come in unless Hewett testifies.
Unauthenticated hearsay.
- Yeah. Illegally obtained. - Right.
And Hewett's got the same immunity that Gingold does.
Unless he doesn't.
- Let's go see a sex surrogate. - You mean my mom?
Your mom, the sex surrogate. Sorry. I forgot her full name.
Does the defence have any witnesses to call?
Yes, Your Honour. We call Assistant DA Brad Hewett to the stand.
Objection. I'm the trial DA on this case, first of all.
- After you had a real lawyer kicked off. - Gentlemen.
Your Honour, People v. Altoon holds a trial lawyer can be called...
...under compelling circumstances.
Nothing compelling here, Your Honour. This is just another F-and-B stunt.
Kind of informal with the "F-and-B" there.
I have executive privilege.
- I can't be called. - Little problem, Your Honour.
I have a memo from Harrison Gingold, the DA of L.A. County.
Apparently, he wasn't a fan of his deputy prosecuting a bogus case...
...to further his own agenda. It's a work assignment, Brad.
Bad news, Bradley.
You've been knocked down from level five to level three...
...and transferred to Lancaster. - I've been demoted?
Which takes you out of executive privilege. Your Honour?
Mr. Hewett, take the stand.
Your Honour...
...at this time, the prosecution moves...
You can do it, Brad.
- To dismiss all charges against Colleen Bash.
- Granted. - Yes.
You guys. You did it.
- Quite right. - You did it too. As much as we did.
Reaching out to Gingold about Hewett's e-mails?
- He wasn't gonna get back to us. - You communicated.
- I need to work on that. - Colleen, coming to the party tonight?
- Am I invited? - Kind of hard not to.
- You're guest of honour. - Right.
And you're not a hooker anymore. All right, guys.
You never did have much of a short game, Henry.
I've always been more interested in power than finesse.
Well, the complete player needs both.
I hate metaphors, especially golf metaphors.
Where is your nephew?
Well, I'm here in his stead...
...to tell you to call off your disrespectful demands...
...regarding Rachel King.
That was a perfectly friendly request.
I can't make him do anything.
No, but you can make giving your judicial blessing contingent on it.
- Tell your nephew... - No, I'm not gonna tell him anything...
...because I was never here.
Just like I was never at that hotel in Nashville.
Stanton, you trying to blackmail me?
No more than you're trying to strong-arm Damien.
He's too deserving for a seat on the bench...
...to be mixed up in your sexcapades.
Buy you a drink?
I thought you'd never ask.
Are you saying that Rachel King is too good for me?
Yes, I am.
No, well, I mean, seriously.
No, seriously, she's far too good for you.
Well, has she got a sister that isn't?
Give me a sec?
- Yep. - Yep.
No Lancaster?
Gingold brought me in this morning.
I guess someone put in a nice word for me.
That's hard to imagine.
Bumped me up to a level five.
Oh, well, sometimes the good guy does win.
Not in this case, but...
You'll always be an obnoxious frat boy.
Yeah. And you'll always be a sadistic, borderline psychotic.
Ellen.
- Hey. - Carlos.
- You ready? - Yeah. Just give me a minute.
Opposing counsel in my next trial.
We're going wine-tasting.
Wine-tasting with Carlos?
That was nice. Thanks.
That was nice.
You good?
What you talking about? I dodged a bullet.
Yeah, like Keanu in The Matrix.
Remo Williams.
Now, come on. We have a party not to plan.
Yeah.
I can't stand her.
- But I miss her. - I can't stand you.
We won a trial. We're in Malibu. We're...
We're ha... Throwing a party. There's people around us.
It's right what they say. It is a thin line between love and hate.
Oh, honey, you're bumming me out.
That's not very surrogate-y.
I'm gonna get myself another drink.
Hey, Mom? Mom.
- Are you okay, sweetie? - I'm fine.
I just wanted to let you know that wasn't just for the jury...
...what I said today.
I really am fine. Proud, actually, of what you do.
I'm proud of you too.
Oh, and if you ever wanna talk about any issues...
...with that beach doctor of yours, just call on me to...
Not gonna happen.
- Okay. - Okay.
I remember once, a great white was upon us.
The break was perfect. Nobody was getting out...
...not even poor Apona, who lost an arm. She was...
There are no great whites in Tahiti.
Yeah.
But it was a rogue, like me.
Hello, Stanton.
Congratulations on your news.
For what it's worth, I never thought you were a tart.
You are quite a charmer.
You did a great job on Colleen's case. Thanks to you...
Whatever. Nobody cares. Rob Lowe may be onto us.
I think he was here today. I looked into my telescope...
...and it was pointed directly at the sun. I singed my retina.
You can sort of see it if you look.
- Let me see. - Look.
God, I never realised how beautiful your eyes are. They're almost soulful.
Thank you. My mother used to say that all the time.
- Your mom was right. - Am I interrupting?
- Maybe. No? - No.
I'm gonna get some lubricating eye drops. This isn't over.
Lowe will pay.
- Rob Lowe? - Yeah.
- Don't. Stop. I'm not ready. - I'm just say...
You have to admit, Rachel and your mom making out...
...is one of the hottest things ever.
- No, it is not. She's my mother. - Yes. Yeah, she is.
Okay, hypothetical.
- Go. - You sleep with my mother...
- Sleep with your mom. - You didn't hear the second half.
- Sleep with your mom. - Ten million dollars.
Sleep with your mom.
Pet pterodactyl like in Jurassic Park: The Lost World.
- My own? That's a good one. - Yeah, your own.
Like, a real pet pterodactyl.
Sleep with your mom.
On the pterodactyl.
"Jared!"
Is that the pterodactyl talking or my mom?
That's your mom. "Jared!"
That sounds oddly like the pterodactyl talking. Ripped By mstoll