1
00:00:01,174 --> 00:00:12,233
<font color="#ec14bd">Sync & corrections by honeybunny</font>
<font color="#ec14bd">www.addic7ed.com</font>

2
00:00:16,900 --> 00:00:19,234
It's getting chilly out.

3
00:00:19,302 --> 00:00:20,769
You might want to
think about getting

4
00:00:20,837 --> 00:00:22,404
your special little
boy a sweater, huh?

5
00:00:22,472 --> 00:00:24,640
Or at least some Omega-3
to thicken his coat.

6
00:00:24,707 --> 00:00:26,340
Yeah, I'll... look into that.

7
00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:28,643
Come on, Thomas James.

8
00:00:28,711 --> 00:00:29,699
God!

9
00:00:29,819 --> 00:00:31,980
What is happening to this park?

10
00:00:32,047 --> 00:00:33,481
It's being overrun by...

11
00:00:33,549 --> 00:00:35,217
dog weirdos.
Dog weirdos?

12
00:00:35,337 --> 00:00:37,718
People who treat their dogs
like cute, amusing,

13
00:00:37,786 --> 00:00:39,408
four-legged little children.

14
00:00:39,528 --> 00:00:41,722
We're descendents of the wolf,
for Christ's sake.

15
00:00:41,789 --> 00:00:44,558
Look at this poor bastard.

16
00:00:44,626 --> 00:00:46,760
Bootsies?
Wow.

17
00:00:46,828 --> 00:00:48,829
- And check this out.
- What have we here?

18
00:00:48,896 --> 00:00:50,563
"I did a smelly poo poo, Mommy."

19
00:00:50,631 --> 00:00:52,332
You did a smelly
poo poo for me?

20
00:00:52,399 --> 00:00:53,333
"Yes, I did."

21
00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:54,534
He's not saying that.

22
00:00:54,602 --> 00:00:55,801
She's speaking for him.

23
00:00:55,908 --> 00:00:58,042
He didn't do a smelly
poo poo for her.

24
00:00:58,110 --> 00:00:59,877
He did it for his dead brother.

25
00:00:59,945 --> 00:01:01,846
Hi, baby.
Ooh, you're so cute.

26
00:01:01,913 --> 00:01:04,448
And now she's molesting him,
right in front of us.

27
00:01:04,516 --> 00:01:06,784
Yeah, I guess
that's a little weird.

28
00:01:06,851 --> 00:01:08,786
And here's the worst of all.

29
00:01:08,853 --> 00:01:10,787
This guy must have actually
spoken his mind.

30
00:01:10,855 --> 00:01:13,257
Not only do they
emasculate him with a muzzle,

31
00:01:13,325 --> 00:01:15,526
but they mask the
obvious rights violation

32
00:01:15,594 --> 00:01:16,955
by making it a
comical distraction.

33
00:01:16,995 --> 00:01:18,462
A duck bill? Really?

34
00:01:18,530 --> 00:01:21,265
Okay, that's pretty messed up.

35
00:01:21,333 --> 00:01:23,134
See, that's what I
like about you, Ryan.

36
00:01:23,202 --> 00:01:24,735
You treat me like an equal.

37
00:01:24,803 --> 00:01:27,171
You don't dress me up
or censor what I say

38
00:01:27,239 --> 00:01:29,440
or not let me drool on your
clothes every now and again.

39
00:01:34,579 --> 00:01:37,081
Ooh!
Wouldn't mind getting

40
00:01:37,148 --> 00:01:40,017
my bulbus glandis
dick-anchor stuck up in that.

41
00:01:40,085 --> 00:01:43,254
Yeah, like you said, this place
is crawling with... dog weirdos.

42
00:01:43,321 --> 00:01:44,955
Let's get out of here.

43
00:01:45,023 --> 00:01:46,190
Wait-- are you, like, scared
of that bulbus glandis

44
00:01:46,258 --> 00:01:48,125
dick-anchor chick?

45
00:01:48,193 --> 00:01:50,995
Of course not.
Well, then go and introduce yourself.

46
00:01:51,062 --> 00:01:54,198
I already know her, okay?

47
00:01:54,265 --> 00:01:56,901
Her name's Kim. We went to
high school together, and I had

48
00:01:56,968 --> 00:01:59,369
a huge crush on her.
She was super outgoing

49
00:01:59,437 --> 00:02:01,338
and always starting
these new clubs.

50
00:02:01,406 --> 00:02:03,374
I, on the other hand...

51
00:02:03,442 --> 00:02:06,243
Was an antisocial virgin
with drawn-on pubes-- I get it.

52
00:02:06,311 --> 00:02:08,179
I never actually did that;
it was just a rumor.

53
00:02:08,247 --> 00:02:09,581
Ryan?

54
00:02:09,648 --> 00:02:11,149
Ryan Newman?

55
00:02:11,217 --> 00:02:13,485
Oh... my God.

56
00:02:13,552 --> 00:02:14,452
Kim?

57
00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:16,587
You look great.

58
00:02:16,655 --> 00:02:18,189
What have you been up
to since...

59
00:02:18,257 --> 00:02:21,192
God, graduation, I think?
Well, I...

60
00:02:21,259 --> 00:02:23,126
I worked as a lawyer
for a while and, um...

61
00:02:23,194 --> 00:02:24,561
Tell her about the time

62
00:02:24,629 --> 00:02:26,296
we microwaved
our toenail clippings.

63
00:02:26,364 --> 00:02:28,165
Uh, but what have you
been up to?

64
00:02:28,232 --> 00:02:30,066
Well, I recently started
my own business--

65
00:02:30,134 --> 00:02:31,902
a dog training facility
in Venice.

66
00:02:31,969 --> 00:02:33,036
That's actually
why I'm here today.

67
00:02:33,104 --> 00:02:34,770
I'm passing out flyers.

68
00:02:34,838 --> 00:02:36,518
I love working with dogs;
They're just such

69
00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:38,107
incredible animals.

70
00:02:38,175 --> 00:02:40,777
Speaking of which,

71
00:02:40,844 --> 00:02:42,311
is this your handsome boy?

72
00:02:42,379 --> 00:02:43,513
Uh, no, no, no.
I actually belong

73
00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:44,614
to a gorgeous blonde.

74
00:02:44,681 --> 00:02:46,148
Yeah.
What?

75
00:02:46,216 --> 00:02:48,150
I never took you for a dog guy.

76
00:02:48,218 --> 00:02:51,687
Well, just like you,
I-I love working with dogs.

77
00:02:51,754 --> 00:02:53,822
Uh, I don't mean "working."

78
00:02:53,890 --> 00:02:55,290
I'm just...

79
00:02:55,358 --> 00:02:57,660
super, super into dogs.
Ryan,

80
00:02:57,727 --> 00:03:00,797
you know I don't like feeling
powerless over my own leg.

81
00:03:00,864 --> 00:03:03,233
Oh, shit.

82
00:03:03,300 --> 00:03:05,201
It's happening!

83
00:03:05,269 --> 00:03:07,103
You guys are really cute.

84
00:03:07,171 --> 00:03:08,672
You know, if your dog
ever needs

85
00:03:08,740 --> 00:03:09,773
any training,
you should totally

86
00:03:09,841 --> 00:03:11,542
bring him to Happy Paws.

87
00:03:11,610 --> 00:03:14,144
Or if you, you know, have
any dog-related questions,

88
00:03:14,212 --> 00:03:16,547
you could just...
call me on my cell.

89
00:03:16,615 --> 00:03:18,649
Um... yeah.

90
00:03:18,717 --> 00:03:20,250
Let me get your number.
Yeah.

91
00:03:20,318 --> 00:03:23,687
I'll never understand
why that happens.

92
00:03:23,755 --> 00:03:26,190
So, you're, like,
"super, super into dogs" now,

93
00:03:26,258 --> 00:03:28,927
is that right?
What? I've always liked dogs.

94
00:03:28,994 --> 00:03:30,762
Then why don't
you have your own dog?

95
00:03:30,830 --> 00:03:33,098
Oh, wait, you do.

96
00:03:33,165 --> 00:03:34,766
Come on, I watch you every day.

97
00:03:34,834 --> 00:03:36,434
It's almost like I'm...
Bullshit.

98
00:03:36,502 --> 00:03:38,403
You just got intimidated
by your old crush.

99
00:03:38,471 --> 00:03:39,437
And since
you couldn't find a pen

100
00:03:39,505 --> 00:03:41,172
to draw on pubes quick enough,

101
00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:42,908
you found some other way
to make yourself look good.

102
00:03:42,975 --> 00:03:44,909
There's nothing wrong with
embellishing a little

103
00:03:44,977 --> 00:03:46,611
when you're talking
to a pretty girl.

104
00:03:46,679 --> 00:03:48,380
Yeah, I used
to play it like that.

105
00:03:48,447 --> 00:03:51,683
I used to tell chicks lies
about myself just to get laid.

106
00:03:51,751 --> 00:03:54,652
One night, I'd be a pilot;
the next, a doctor.

107
00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:57,288
But these women weren't having
sex with a pilot or a doctor.

108
00:03:57,356 --> 00:03:59,090
They were having sex with a lie.

109
00:03:59,157 --> 00:04:00,791
And more sick and depraved
than that?

110
00:04:00,859 --> 00:04:02,560
They were having sex with a dog.

111
00:04:02,628 --> 00:04:04,362
But I learnt my lesson.

112
00:04:04,430 --> 00:04:06,531
And if Kim isn't gonna be
into the real Ryan,

113
00:04:06,599 --> 00:04:08,633
then why do you want
to be with her?

114
00:04:08,701 --> 00:04:09,834
I mean,
for all of Amanda's craziness,

115
00:04:09,902 --> 00:04:11,970
at least she liked you for you.

116
00:04:12,038 --> 00:04:14,239
At least she...
I'm not looking for another Amanda.

117
00:04:14,307 --> 00:04:17,676
At the very least, it'd be fun
to go back to school.

118
00:04:17,744 --> 00:04:20,178
Unlike you, I was one of the
cool kids, back in the day.

119
00:04:21,481 --> 00:04:23,348
All the chicks used
to bark at me

120
00:04:23,416 --> 00:04:25,350
and all the guys
used to bark at me,

121
00:04:25,418 --> 00:04:27,752
but, like, in a kind of
admiring way,

122
00:04:27,820 --> 00:04:30,121
not, like, in a sexual way,
like with the chicks.

123
00:04:30,189 --> 00:04:31,823
I already got Kim's number.

124
00:04:31,891 --> 00:04:33,925
Why would I suffer through
a training course with you?

125
00:04:33,993 --> 00:04:36,027
Mmm. Because maybe training
would be good for me.

126
00:04:36,095 --> 00:04:38,096
Who knows? Maybe
I could even learn

127
00:04:38,164 --> 00:04:40,799
to one day not drool
all over your clothes.

128
00:04:41,934 --> 00:04:43,568
Nice.

129
00:04:46,105 --> 00:04:47,405
Wilfred, no!

130
00:04:47,473 --> 00:04:49,641
Yeah! Garbage is the shit!
God...

131
00:04:49,709 --> 00:04:51,643
Wilfred, drop it!

132
00:04:51,711 --> 00:04:54,913
God. Wilfred!
Oh, God. Oh...

133
00:04:54,981 --> 00:04:56,682
Hey, Ryan. Sorry.

134
00:04:56,749 --> 00:04:58,283
I'm gonna clean
this up. Just...

135
00:04:58,351 --> 00:05:00,752
Wilfred has been acting crazy
these past few days.

136
00:05:00,820 --> 00:05:03,689
No problem. Hey, I just wanted
to return your book. I loved it.

137
00:05:03,756 --> 00:05:04,923
What was your favorite story?

138
00:05:04,991 --> 00:05:06,825
"Safari." Totally.
"Safari"? Right?

139
00:05:06,893 --> 00:05:08,427
Thanks for recommending it.
Oh, it's one of my favorites.

140
00:05:08,494 --> 00:05:09,995
I knew you'd like it.
Make it rain on 'em...

141
00:05:10,062 --> 00:05:11,029
Make it rain on 'em.

142
00:05:11,097 --> 00:05:13,531
God! Wilfred!

143
00:05:13,599 --> 00:05:15,967
I don't know what has
gotten into him. He's been

144
00:05:16,035 --> 00:05:17,636
tearing up the furniture,
peeing in the house--

145
00:05:17,704 --> 00:05:19,171
he hasn't acted like this
since we first got him.

146
00:05:19,239 --> 00:05:21,140
God...

147
00:05:21,207 --> 00:05:23,776
All I can think to do is take
him back to obedience school.

148
00:05:23,844 --> 00:05:26,279
I found this, uh,
flyer in my mailbox.

149
00:05:26,346 --> 00:05:28,782
It's for this new place
called Happy Paws.

150
00:05:28,849 --> 00:05:31,118
I checked it out on Yelp,
and it's got some good reviews.

151
00:05:31,185 --> 00:05:32,705
I'm gonna take him
down there tomorrow.

152
00:05:32,754 --> 00:05:33,887
Hey, why don't...
why don't I take him?

153
00:05:33,955 --> 00:05:35,221
Oh, no, no, no.
I couldn't.

154
00:05:35,289 --> 00:05:36,923
You're way busier than me.

155
00:05:36,991 --> 00:05:38,958
Besides, it'll be fun.
What's the matter, Ryan?

156
00:05:39,026 --> 00:05:41,187
Afraid what your old crush
would think if she found out

157
00:05:41,195 --> 00:05:42,995
I didn't belong to you?
Are you sure?

158
00:05:43,063 --> 00:05:44,230
Yeah.

159
00:05:45,298 --> 00:05:46,232
Feminine hygiene

160
00:05:46,299 --> 00:05:48,467
products are the shit!

161
00:06:09,455 --> 00:06:12,190
Okay, please don't embarrass
me in front of Kim.

162
00:06:12,258 --> 00:06:15,294
Embarrass you?! Relax.

163
00:06:15,361 --> 00:06:18,397
I was the cool kid back
in the day, remember?

164
00:06:24,205 --> 00:06:26,272
Ryan!

165
00:06:26,340 --> 00:06:29,108
Don't be no fool,
just play it cool,

166
00:06:29,176 --> 00:06:31,611
break all the rules
and be yourself.

167
00:06:31,678 --> 00:06:32,845
I'm so glad

168
00:06:32,913 --> 00:06:34,414
you made it.
Yeah, well,

169
00:06:34,482 --> 00:06:35,615
Wilfred's got
a few behavioral tics

170
00:06:35,683 --> 00:06:37,150
I want to iron out.

171
00:06:37,218 --> 00:06:38,651
Well, you came
to the right place.

172
00:06:38,719 --> 00:06:40,520
This is Champ, by the way.

173
00:06:40,588 --> 00:06:42,522
"Hello there, Mr. Ryan.

174
00:06:42,590 --> 00:06:45,158
It's so nice to meet you
on this bright and sunny day."

175
00:06:48,363 --> 00:06:50,664
Holy shit!
She's a dog weirdo!

176
00:06:50,732 --> 00:06:52,866
Little kisses for the mommy.

177
00:06:52,934 --> 00:06:55,569
"Does Wilfred's daddy
get kisses from Wilfred?"

178
00:06:55,637 --> 00:06:57,471
I don't know. Does he?

179
00:06:57,539 --> 00:06:59,439
Come on, give him a kiss.

180
00:06:59,507 --> 00:07:02,209
Ryan. Don't do it.

181
00:07:02,277 --> 00:07:05,746
I'm warning you. Neither
of us is gonna like this.

182
00:07:10,551 --> 00:07:13,220
Oh, so cute.

183
00:07:13,287 --> 00:07:16,289
Aw!

184
00:07:19,262 --> 00:07:20,185
Remember...

185
00:07:20,305 --> 00:07:21,985
I can't believe you--
Force-Frenching me

186
00:07:22,052 --> 00:07:23,053
in front of the whole school

187
00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:24,888
just to impress
that dog weirdo?

188
00:07:24,956 --> 00:07:27,091
Just leave me out of it
from now on.

189
00:07:27,158 --> 00:07:29,560
I don't want to look wack
in front of my classmates.

190
00:07:29,628 --> 00:07:32,063
...so before we get
started, I just want to lay out

191
00:07:32,131 --> 00:07:34,264
a few ground rules:
First of all,

192
00:07:34,384 --> 00:07:36,719
this gate must remain closed
at all times.

193
00:07:36,787 --> 00:07:38,487
We don't want any
of our little babies

194
00:07:38,555 --> 00:07:39,956
running out into the street.

195
00:07:40,024 --> 00:07:42,159
Blah, blah, blah.

196
00:07:42,226 --> 00:07:44,528
Teachers are so lame,
am I right?

197
00:07:44,595 --> 00:07:46,763
Hey, you guys!

198
00:07:46,831 --> 00:07:48,298
Check out the wiener dog!

199
00:07:48,366 --> 00:07:50,066
It's like,
why aren't you on a bun

200
00:07:50,134 --> 00:07:51,301
with ketchup and mustard?

201
00:07:52,470 --> 00:07:54,070
Oh, shit!

202
00:07:55,506 --> 00:07:58,474
Oh, hey, what's up, spots?
Nice spots.

203
00:07:58,542 --> 00:08:00,376
It's like,
look at your spots, dude.

204
00:08:00,444 --> 00:08:03,579
I'm totally making fun
of your spots.

205
00:08:03,647 --> 00:08:05,147
Oh, shit!

206
00:08:05,215 --> 00:08:06,482
Okay, who's next? Who's next?

207
00:08:09,152 --> 00:08:10,787
What's up?

208
00:08:10,854 --> 00:08:12,288
Wilfred, pay attention.

209
00:08:12,356 --> 00:08:15,124
Paying attention
is for narcs and dweebazoids.

210
00:08:15,192 --> 00:08:17,127
Hey, you know what?

211
00:08:17,194 --> 00:08:18,795
You're getting a wedgie,
Poindexter.

212
00:08:21,599 --> 00:08:24,868
...most of our edible products
are organic.

213
00:08:24,936 --> 00:08:27,604
Now, I want to start with
a really basic command,

214
00:08:27,672 --> 00:08:30,007
just to see where we're all at.

215
00:08:30,074 --> 00:08:32,443
Let's try "sit."
Oh, oh. Hey, you guys.

216
00:08:32,510 --> 00:08:33,978
Listen up, listen up.

217
00:08:34,045 --> 00:08:35,813
When Teacher says "sit,"

218
00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:37,014
we all gonna shit.

219
00:08:38,116 --> 00:08:39,918
Ready?

220
00:08:39,985 --> 00:08:43,321
Wilfred, don't.
Okay, here we go.

221
00:08:43,389 --> 00:08:44,756
Sit.

222
00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:52,765
Hey! What the hell, you guys?

223
00:08:52,833 --> 00:08:54,867
Looks like some of us
have some work to do,

224
00:08:54,935 --> 00:08:57,771
but that's why we're here.

225
00:08:57,838 --> 00:09:01,141
Your boys and girls worked
very hard, so please feel free

226
00:09:01,209 --> 00:09:03,343
to reward them
with a little snacky.

227
00:09:03,411 --> 00:09:06,146
That's not yours.
That's not yours.

228
00:09:06,214 --> 00:09:09,583
All right, so where's
the cool kids' table?

229
00:09:09,651 --> 00:09:12,787
Hey, is that an open seat
over there?

230
00:09:12,854 --> 00:09:14,955
Oh. It's taken?

231
00:09:15,023 --> 00:09:17,525
Hey, what about that seat?
Is that... Oh,

232
00:09:17,592 --> 00:09:18,893
it's taken as well?

233
00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:20,260
It looks like it's...

234
00:09:20,328 --> 00:09:23,197
Hey! That wasn't very nice.

235
00:09:23,265 --> 00:09:25,366
I was gonna eat that.

236
00:09:25,434 --> 00:09:26,400
What...?

237
00:09:27,903 --> 00:09:29,971
I'm not a loser!

238
00:09:30,038 --> 00:09:32,140
Stop chanting it in unison!

239
00:09:34,376 --> 00:09:35,877
So...

240
00:09:35,945 --> 00:09:37,612
did you enjoy class?

241
00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:40,615
Yeah. It was really helpful.

242
00:09:40,683 --> 00:09:42,785
Look, a lot of people
don't understand

243
00:09:42,852 --> 00:09:44,586
how much attention
dogs really need.

244
00:09:44,654 --> 00:09:47,356
I mean, they're like little
four-legged children.

245
00:09:47,423 --> 00:09:49,992
I say exactly the same thing.
Except I say

246
00:09:50,060 --> 00:09:52,794
they're like little people with four legs.
Well, I think

247
00:09:52,862 --> 00:09:54,630
"little children"
is probably more accurate.

248
00:09:54,698 --> 00:09:57,567
"Little people" sort of
implies dwarves or midgets.

249
00:09:57,634 --> 00:09:58,935
Right.

250
00:09:59,002 --> 00:10:00,002
They're not like midgets.

251
00:10:00,036 --> 00:10:03,039
Look, Ryan, I have to say,

252
00:10:03,106 --> 00:10:06,008
I'm sort of worried
you're in danger of becoming

253
00:10:06,076 --> 00:10:08,311
one of those irresponsible
dog owners.

254
00:10:08,379 --> 00:10:10,347
Oh.

255
00:10:10,414 --> 00:10:13,550
W-Well, the reason Wilfred seems
a little out of control is...

256
00:10:13,618 --> 00:10:14,884
He's a rescue?

257
00:10:14,952 --> 00:10:17,954
Yes. Yeah. Exactly.

258
00:10:18,022 --> 00:10:21,058
I-I... I rescued him
off the street

259
00:10:21,125 --> 00:10:22,860
a-about a month ago.

260
00:10:22,927 --> 00:10:26,163
I found him tied
to a... fire escape.

261
00:10:26,231 --> 00:10:28,699
He was starving
and showed signs of abuse.

262
00:10:28,767 --> 00:10:31,369
Oh, God, that is so sad.
I know.

263
00:10:31,437 --> 00:10:34,873
Sometimes I wish I could adopt
every stray in Venice.

264
00:10:36,442 --> 00:10:38,677
I never knew you were like this.

265
00:10:38,745 --> 00:10:41,079
Like, don't take this the
wrong way or anything, but...

266
00:10:41,147 --> 00:10:42,915
in high school, you just...

267
00:10:42,982 --> 00:10:44,950
you always seemed a little...

268
00:10:45,018 --> 00:10:46,585
detached.

269
00:10:46,653 --> 00:10:47,620
Me? Detached?

270
00:10:47,688 --> 00:10:49,088
Really?

271
00:10:49,155 --> 00:10:50,689
It's too bad we didn't hang out

272
00:10:50,757 --> 00:10:53,626
more back then, you know?

273
00:10:53,694 --> 00:10:56,228
Well, we're here now.

274
00:10:56,296 --> 00:10:59,064
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

275
00:11:00,667 --> 00:11:02,234
A doggy date?

276
00:11:02,301 --> 00:11:05,204
Yeah.

277
00:11:05,272 --> 00:11:07,806
So, school,

278
00:11:07,874 --> 00:11:10,509
that was pretty fun, right?

279
00:11:10,577 --> 00:11:13,846
Hey, listen, Kim and I...
I'm not going back, Ryan.

280
00:11:13,914 --> 00:11:15,548
What? Why?

281
00:11:15,615 --> 00:11:18,384
You were so excited
about going back to school.

282
00:11:18,452 --> 00:11:20,152
It's just...

283
00:11:20,220 --> 00:11:23,322
this new generation,
they're just so much crueler

284
00:11:23,389 --> 00:11:27,092
than they were-- I mean,
we were-- back in the old days.

285
00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:29,261
Some of the kids from class

286
00:11:29,328 --> 00:11:31,763
have been cyber-bullying me
on Facebook.

287
00:11:31,831 --> 00:11:34,766
This guy, he...
barely even knows me.

288
00:11:34,834 --> 00:11:37,368
He called me
"a major dingus."

289
00:11:37,436 --> 00:11:39,437
And-and this other guy,

290
00:11:39,505 --> 00:11:42,440
he said I should
"saw my ears off slowly

291
00:11:42,507 --> 00:11:45,710
"with a dull jigsaw and then
shove my bloody, severed ears

292
00:11:45,777 --> 00:11:48,212
into my own mother's anus."
And that is,

293
00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:50,415
like, really hurtful.

294
00:11:50,482 --> 00:11:52,617
It gets better, Wilfred.

295
00:11:52,685 --> 00:11:54,219
It gets better.

296
00:11:54,287 --> 00:11:56,254
Hey, it's a new school.

297
00:11:56,322 --> 00:11:58,256
You'll fit in eventually.

298
00:11:58,324 --> 00:12:01,426
Besides, if you don't go
back, the bullies win.

299
00:12:02,754 --> 00:12:04,896
You just want me to go back
so you can stick

300
00:12:04,964 --> 00:12:07,232
your non-bulbus-glandis-having,
easily extractable penis

301
00:12:07,300 --> 00:12:08,967
into that dog weirdo.

302
00:12:09,034 --> 00:12:10,168
Hey, you were the one
that convinced Jenna

303
00:12:10,236 --> 00:12:11,703
you needed the training.

304
00:12:11,771 --> 00:12:13,104
Then I'll convince her
I don't need it.

305
00:12:13,172 --> 00:12:14,806
I'll just be
on my best behavior.

306
00:12:14,873 --> 00:12:16,775
And you think Jenna's just
gonna let you out of it?

307
00:12:16,842 --> 00:12:19,010
She prepaid for the
whole course, Wilfred.

308
00:12:21,914 --> 00:12:24,849
Okay, look, I'll lie to Jenna

309
00:12:24,917 --> 00:12:27,519
and tell her that I'm still
taking you to Happy Paws.

310
00:12:27,587 --> 00:12:30,355
But you have to do a
favor for me in return.

311
00:12:47,404 --> 00:12:48,971
Hi.
Hey.

312
00:12:49,039 --> 00:12:50,873
You look great.
Thank you.

313
00:12:50,941 --> 00:12:52,441
That pirate hat is...

314
00:12:52,509 --> 00:12:54,509
The cutest thing ever, right?

315
00:12:54,577 --> 00:12:56,444
Come in.

316
00:12:58,080 --> 00:12:59,814
Where's Wilfred?
Champy wants to play.

317
00:12:59,882 --> 00:13:02,584
Wilfred!

318
00:13:02,651 --> 00:13:05,220
Bootsies?

319
00:13:05,287 --> 00:13:07,255
I love it!

320
00:13:07,323 --> 00:13:08,990
I've been meaning
to get Champ a set.

321
00:13:09,058 --> 00:13:10,992
I mean, not only
are they adorbs,

322
00:13:11,060 --> 00:13:13,140
but Champs has
got very sensitive paws.

323
00:13:13,196 --> 00:13:15,564
"Yes, I do, Mommy.

324
00:13:15,631 --> 00:13:17,733
I have sensitive paws."

325
00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:20,369
Aw, so cute.

326
00:13:26,009 --> 00:13:29,378
Um, the other day, I saw
this great YouTube video

327
00:13:29,446 --> 00:13:32,475
with two dogs, like, holding hands.
Oh, yeah,

328
00:13:32,543 --> 00:13:35,251
I saw that! So sweet.

329
00:13:35,319 --> 00:13:37,854
Yeah.

330
00:13:37,921 --> 00:13:40,923
So, listen...

331
00:13:40,991 --> 00:13:44,360
I wasn't gonna
say anything, but...

332
00:13:44,428 --> 00:13:48,864
I heard this rumor back
in high school that you...

333
00:13:48,932 --> 00:13:51,100
Okay, I-I did not use a pen
to draw pubic hair...

334
00:13:51,168 --> 00:13:52,268
...had a crush on me.

335
00:13:53,703 --> 00:13:56,038
O-Oh.

336
00:13:56,105 --> 00:13:57,973
Y-Yeah. Um...

337
00:13:58,041 --> 00:14:01,176
that-that one's true.

338
00:14:01,244 --> 00:14:03,745
'Cause I've had
a really fun night so far.

339
00:14:03,813 --> 00:14:05,246
Really?

340
00:14:05,314 --> 00:14:06,881
Although...

341
00:14:06,949 --> 00:14:08,883
I hope it's not over yet.

342
00:14:08,950 --> 00:14:10,751
Huh, baby?

343
00:14:10,819 --> 00:14:12,453
"Gee.

344
00:14:12,521 --> 00:14:15,123
"I'm so tired.

345
00:14:15,190 --> 00:14:18,826
"I think I'd like to sleep over
at Wilfred's house tonight.

346
00:14:18,894 --> 00:14:22,858
"Would Wilfred mind
if my mommy and I slept over?

347
00:14:23,082 --> 00:14:24,965
What does Wilfred
think about that?"

348
00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:26,633
No, Ryan.

349
00:14:26,701 --> 00:14:28,168
Don't you do it.

350
00:14:28,235 --> 00:14:31,438
Cutesy voices were never part
of our deal.

351
00:14:31,506 --> 00:14:34,340
"Me and
my mate Ryan would love that."

352
00:14:35,576 --> 00:14:37,811
An Australian accent?

353
00:14:37,879 --> 00:14:39,913
That's hilar.

354
00:14:39,981 --> 00:14:41,649
I'll just go

355
00:14:41,716 --> 00:14:42,984
grab my stuff.
Okay.

356
00:14:43,051 --> 00:14:45,953
That is not what I was thinking!

357
00:14:46,021 --> 00:14:47,521
I was thinking how ironic it is

358
00:14:47,589 --> 00:14:49,991
that Abraham Lincoln freed
the slaves, yet he himself

359
00:14:50,058 --> 00:14:52,093
was a slave
to a weird beard style!

360
00:14:52,161 --> 00:14:53,761
You crossed the line!

361
00:14:53,829 --> 00:14:57,031
I agreed to help you, and
you totally sold me out!

362
00:14:57,099 --> 00:14:59,567
Calm down! I just used
a stupid, fake voice.

363
00:14:59,634 --> 00:15:00,935
It doesn't matter.

364
00:15:01,003 --> 00:15:02,770
Doesn't matter?!

365
00:15:02,837 --> 00:15:04,971
I want my voice!
Wilfred!

366
00:15:05,039 --> 00:15:08,241
I'll bite your face, bitch!
Wilfred, no!

367
00:15:08,309 --> 00:15:09,676
Stop it!

368
00:15:09,744 --> 00:15:10,844
Ryan, no!

369
00:15:10,912 --> 00:15:12,479
Ryan, what are you doing?

370
00:15:17,893 --> 00:15:20,828
Kim just took off
after lecturing me for an hour

371
00:15:20,896 --> 00:15:23,431
about the proper way
to discipline your dog.

372
00:15:23,499 --> 00:15:25,633
It obviously
doesn't involve violence.

373
00:15:27,269 --> 00:15:29,704
Look...

374
00:15:29,772 --> 00:15:32,541
I-I shouldn't have done
that cutesy voice for you.

375
00:15:32,608 --> 00:15:35,477
I'm sorry.
It's not your fault, Ryan.

376
00:15:35,545 --> 00:15:38,079
Maybe I'd be better off
with a cutesy voice.

377
00:15:38,147 --> 00:15:40,982
My own voice just gets lost
in all the white noise.

378
00:15:41,050 --> 00:15:42,817
You probably noticed

379
00:15:42,885 --> 00:15:45,687
I took down my Facebook page.
I...

380
00:15:45,755 --> 00:15:47,489
did not notice.
I got tired

381
00:15:47,557 --> 00:15:50,192
of all the hate and vitriol.

382
00:15:50,260 --> 00:15:53,028
Champ tweeted tonight
about how earlier

383
00:15:53,096 --> 00:15:56,866
I "totally spazzed out"
like the spaz that I am.

384
00:15:56,934 --> 00:16:00,135
Now everyone at school is
calling me a mental case,

385
00:16:00,203 --> 00:16:03,138
a freak, an outcast.

386
00:16:03,206 --> 00:16:05,140
And they're right.

387
00:16:05,208 --> 00:16:06,675
Well, like we agreed,

388
00:16:06,742 --> 00:16:08,009
you don't have to worry
about going back there.

389
00:16:08,077 --> 00:16:09,277
No, no. You were right.

390
00:16:09,345 --> 00:16:10,945
I have to go back.

391
00:16:11,013 --> 00:16:12,781
Otherwise, the bullies win.

392
00:16:12,848 --> 00:16:15,183
Wilfred, you really don't have to.
I want to.

393
00:16:20,053 --> 00:16:21,985
What are you working on?

394
00:16:22,053 --> 00:16:24,187
I'm drawing a picture...

395
00:16:24,255 --> 00:16:25,588
of mountaintops,

396
00:16:25,656 --> 00:16:27,524
with me on top.

397
00:16:27,591 --> 00:16:29,525
Lemon yellow sun.

398
00:16:29,593 --> 00:16:31,561
Arms raised in a "V."

399
00:16:31,629 --> 00:16:34,630
And the dead lay in pools
of maroon below.

400
00:16:34,698 --> 00:16:36,098
And then...

401
00:16:36,166 --> 00:16:38,367
then there's Spider-Man there.

402
00:16:38,434 --> 00:16:41,303
I just thought
that would be pretty cool.

403
00:16:44,472 --> 00:16:46,573
Wilfred, lie down.

404
00:16:48,943 --> 00:16:51,177
Good work, everyone.

405
00:16:51,245 --> 00:16:52,945
I see lots of improvements.

406
00:16:53,013 --> 00:16:54,880
So, I'll see you next week.

407
00:16:56,483 --> 00:16:58,250
Kim, I-I just want
to apologize again

408
00:16:58,318 --> 00:16:59,685
for what happened
the other night.

409
00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:02,354
Oh, you don't need
to keep apologizing, Ryan.

410
00:17:02,421 --> 00:17:04,822
If you're truly sorry,
you'll consider fixing

411
00:17:04,890 --> 00:17:06,390
your relationship with Wilfred.

412
00:17:06,458 --> 00:17:08,258
Totally. You're right.

413
00:17:08,326 --> 00:17:09,727
Would you be open
to using a muzzle?

414
00:17:11,896 --> 00:17:12,796
Uh...

415
00:17:13,999 --> 00:17:15,966
Y-Yeah, I...

416
00:17:16,034 --> 00:17:18,068
Not only is this going
to eliminate the threat

417
00:17:18,136 --> 00:17:19,302
of Wilfred biting,

418
00:17:19,370 --> 00:17:20,703
the one I got you,

419
00:17:20,771 --> 00:17:22,872
it's a total cute-splosion.

420
00:17:24,241 --> 00:17:25,641
Wilfred...!

421
00:17:25,709 --> 00:17:27,476
What are you doing, boy?
Deeper.

422
00:17:27,544 --> 00:17:29,811
More confident.
Remember, you're in control.

423
00:17:29,879 --> 00:17:32,814
Just doing what all freaks do,
at some point:

424
00:17:32,881 --> 00:17:36,917
sewing the seeds
of chaos and anarchy.

425
00:17:36,984 --> 00:17:38,185
Wilfred, stop!

426
00:17:38,252 --> 00:17:40,320
A little firmer.
A little firmer.

427
00:17:40,387 --> 00:17:42,455
You want me to stop?
Fine.

428
00:17:42,523 --> 00:17:44,624
I'll stop. I promise.

429
00:17:44,691 --> 00:17:48,027
In fact...
let's shake on it.

430
00:17:49,462 --> 00:17:50,329
Oh, God.
Everyone,

431
00:17:50,397 --> 00:17:51,930
the gate is open!

432
00:17:51,998 --> 00:17:53,565
There's nothing
standing between you

433
00:17:53,633 --> 00:17:55,167
and the bustling traffic!

434
00:17:55,235 --> 00:17:57,169
You made me the freak!

435
00:17:57,237 --> 00:18:00,873
Now I'll make you the roadkill!

436
00:18:00,940 --> 00:18:02,641
Come on, boys.
Wilfred, no...

437
00:18:02,709 --> 00:18:05,110
Come on, boys!

438
00:18:05,178 --> 00:18:06,011
Shit.
Come on, boys!

439
00:18:06,079 --> 00:18:07,446
Come on!

440
00:18:07,514 --> 00:18:07,913
Stay!

441
00:18:10,116 --> 00:18:15,888
Noooooo...!

442
00:18:15,955 --> 00:18:18,590
Why can't you just
let the bullying go?

443
00:18:18,658 --> 00:18:20,458
Why do you care so much

444
00:18:20,526 --> 00:18:22,446
about what the other dogs
at school think of you?

445
00:18:25,197 --> 00:18:26,898
I said, what about you?!

446
00:18:26,966 --> 00:18:29,067
Why do you care so much
what Kim thinks?!

447
00:18:29,134 --> 00:18:31,002
I don't know.
Because I like her!

448
00:18:31,070 --> 00:18:33,305
I just want to have fun!
What's the big deal?!

449
00:18:33,372 --> 00:18:35,307
She has no idea
who you really are!

450
00:18:35,374 --> 00:18:38,277
Why are you so afraid
to show her the real you?!

451
00:18:38,345 --> 00:18:41,013
Because the last time I showed
someone the real me,

452
00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:42,881
she was dragged off
to a mental institution.

453
00:18:42,949 --> 00:18:46,385
Ryan...

454
00:18:46,453 --> 00:18:48,921
what happened with Amanda
wasn't your fault.

455
00:18:48,988 --> 00:18:51,423
Yeah, it didn't work out,

456
00:18:51,491 --> 00:18:53,225
but it proves you're capable

457
00:18:53,293 --> 00:18:55,294
of having a deep, healthy
relationship...

458
00:18:55,362 --> 00:18:56,796
as yourself.

459
00:18:56,863 --> 00:18:58,931
Maybe you won't
find it again today.

460
00:18:59,051 --> 00:19:01,768
Maybe not tomorrow.
But someday.

461
00:19:01,835 --> 00:19:04,337
And it'll be worth the wait.

462
00:19:07,621 --> 00:19:10,189
Dropping the class
is not a good idea, Ryan.

463
00:19:10,257 --> 00:19:11,691
Wilfred has a long way to go.

464
00:19:11,758 --> 00:19:13,559
I think he'll be okay.

465
00:19:13,627 --> 00:19:16,862
Well... so when will
I see you again?

466
00:19:16,930 --> 00:19:19,865
I'm sure we'll run
into each other.

467
00:19:19,932 --> 00:19:21,166
Take it easy.

468
00:19:21,234 --> 00:19:22,301
Okay, I'll do it.

469
00:19:22,368 --> 00:19:24,736
Hi, my name is Ryan.

470
00:19:24,804 --> 00:19:26,939
I'm just chatting

471
00:19:27,007 --> 00:19:28,440
with one of
my homies from class.

472
00:19:28,508 --> 00:19:30,642
My hobbies include Ping-Pong,

473
00:19:30,710 --> 00:19:32,311
reading and carrying

474
00:19:32,379 --> 00:19:34,413
my friend's turds around
in a plastic bag.

475
00:19:36,116 --> 00:19:37,683
Oh, you like my Ryan voice?

476
00:19:38,952 --> 00:19:40,853
I know. Nailed it.

477
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:42,354
Yeah, all right.

478
00:19:42,422 --> 00:19:44,389
Yeah, see you at the party
on the weekend, digger.

479
00:19:44,457 --> 00:19:45,390
I said "digger."

480
00:19:45,458 --> 00:19:47,092
With a "D."

481
00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:50,529
No, no, uh, because you're
a dog and you like to dig.

482
00:19:50,596 --> 00:19:52,597
Digger.

483
00:19:52,665 --> 00:19:54,699
No, I-I d...
I think you missed...

484
00:19:54,766 --> 00:19:56,887
Yep. I'll sh...
I'll shut up.

485
00:20:00,763 --> 00:20:03,965
Huh... I wouldn't have guessed that.
Oh, yes.

486
00:20:04,033 --> 00:20:06,401
The poodle is
a very macho breed.

487
00:20:06,468 --> 00:20:08,603
It takes a tough individual
to pull off that haircut.

488
00:20:08,670 --> 00:20:11,272
If I saw a poodle come at me,
I'd cross the street.

489
00:20:11,340 --> 00:20:13,874
Really?
Oh. Mm-hmm.

490
00:20:13,942 --> 00:20:17,644
I'll tell you what breed
is a little iffy, though.

491
00:20:17,712 --> 00:20:21,014
What?
And this'll surprise you...

492
00:20:22,584 --> 00:20:24,651
...poodles.

493
00:20:24,719 --> 00:20:27,588
But... y-you just
said they were tough.

494
00:20:27,655 --> 00:20:30,357
I bet that's
why you're surprised.

495
00:20:33,695 --> 00:20:36,530
Wait, so... and the ship just
sank to the bottom of the...

496
00:20:36,597 --> 00:20:38,699
deep blue sea?

497
00:20:38,766 --> 00:20:40,901
Yep.
They didn't see the iceberg?

498
00:20:40,969 --> 00:20:42,636
Nope.

499
00:20:42,704 --> 00:20:44,639
And they didn't
smell the iceberg?

500
00:20:44,706 --> 00:20:46,641
Nope.

501
00:20:46,709 --> 00:20:48,476
They didn't hear the iceberg?

502
00:20:48,544 --> 00:20:50,779
Nope.

503
00:20:51,981 --> 00:20:53,729
Idiots.

504
00:20:55,084 --> 00:21:06,432
<font color="#ec14bd">Sync & corrections by honeybunny</font>
<font color="#ec14bd">www.addic7ed.com</font>

