1
00:00:19,274 --> 00:00:29,333
<font color="#ec14bd">Sync & corrections by honeybunny</font>
<font color="#e9be16">Resync for WEB-DL by </font><font color="#ffffff">lost0ne</font>
<font color="#ec14bd">www.addic7ed.com</font>

2
00:00:37,700 --> 00:00:40,034
It's getting chilly out.

3
00:00:40,102 --> 00:00:41,569
You might want to
think about getting

4
00:00:41,637 --> 00:00:43,204
your special little
boy a sweater, huh?

5
00:00:43,272 --> 00:00:45,440
Or at least some Omega-3
to thicken his coat.

6
00:00:45,507 --> 00:00:47,140
Yeah, I'll... look into that.

7
00:00:47,260 --> 00:00:49,443
Come on, Thomas James.

8
00:00:49,511 --> 00:00:50,499
God!

9
00:00:50,619 --> 00:00:52,780
What is happening to this park?

10
00:00:52,847 --> 00:00:54,281
It's being overrun by...

11
00:00:54,349 --> 00:00:56,017
dog weirdos.
Dog weirdos?

12
00:00:56,137 --> 00:00:58,518
People who treat their dogs
like cute, amusing,

13
00:00:58,586 --> 00:01:00,208
four-legged little children.

14
00:01:00,328 --> 00:01:02,522
We're descendents of the wolf,
for Christ's sake.

15
00:01:02,589 --> 00:01:05,358
Look at this poor bastard.

16
00:01:05,426 --> 00:01:07,560
Bootsies?
Wow.

17
00:01:07,628 --> 00:01:09,629
- And check this out.
- What have we here?

18
00:01:09,696 --> 00:01:11,363
"I did a smelly poo poo, Mommy."

19
00:01:11,431 --> 00:01:13,132
You did a smelly
poo poo for me?

20
00:01:13,199 --> 00:01:14,133
"Yes, I did."

21
00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:15,334
He's not saying that.

22
00:01:15,402 --> 00:01:16,601
She's speaking for him.

23
00:01:16,708 --> 00:01:18,842
He didn't do a smelly
poo poo for her.

24
00:01:18,910 --> 00:01:20,677
He did it for his dead brother.

25
00:01:20,745 --> 00:01:22,646
Hi, baby.
Ooh, you're so cute.

26
00:01:22,713 --> 00:01:25,248
And now she's molesting him,
right in front of us.

27
00:01:25,316 --> 00:01:27,584
Yeah, I guess
that's a little weird.

28
00:01:27,651 --> 00:01:29,586
And here's the worst of all.

29
00:01:29,653 --> 00:01:31,587
This guy must have actually
spoken his mind.

30
00:01:31,655 --> 00:01:34,057
Not only do they
emasculate him with a muzzle,

31
00:01:34,125 --> 00:01:36,326
but they mask the
obvious rights violation

32
00:01:36,394 --> 00:01:37,755
by making it a
comical distraction.

33
00:01:37,795 --> 00:01:39,262
A duck bill? Really?

34
00:01:39,330 --> 00:01:42,065
Okay, that's pretty messed up.

35
00:01:42,133 --> 00:01:43,934
See, that's what I
like about you, Ryan.

36
00:01:44,002 --> 00:01:45,535
You treat me like an equal.

37
00:01:45,603 --> 00:01:47,971
You don't dress me up
or censor what I say

38
00:01:48,039 --> 00:01:50,240
or not let me drool on your
clothes every now and again.

39
00:01:55,379 --> 00:01:57,881
Ooh!
Wouldn't mind getting

40
00:01:57,948 --> 00:02:00,817
my bulbus glandis
dick-anchor stuck up in that.

41
00:02:00,885 --> 00:02:04,054
Yeah, like you said, this place
is crawling with... dog weirdos.

42
00:02:04,121 --> 00:02:05,755
Let's get out of here.

43
00:02:05,823 --> 00:02:06,990
Wait-- are you, like, scared
of that bulbus glandis

44
00:02:07,058 --> 00:02:08,925
dick-anchor chick?

45
00:02:08,993 --> 00:02:11,795
Of course not.
Well, then go and introduce yourself.

46
00:02:11,862 --> 00:02:14,998
I already know her, okay?

47
00:02:15,065 --> 00:02:17,701
Her name's Kim. We went to
high school together, and I had

48
00:02:17,768 --> 00:02:20,169
a huge crush on her.
She was super outgoing

49
00:02:20,237 --> 00:02:22,138
and always starting
these new clubs.

50
00:02:22,206 --> 00:02:24,174
I, on the other hand...

51
00:02:24,242 --> 00:02:27,043
Was an antisocial virgin
with drawn-on pubes-- I get it.

52
00:02:27,111 --> 00:02:28,979
I never actually did that;
it was just a rumor.

53
00:02:29,047 --> 00:02:30,381
Ryan?

54
00:02:30,448 --> 00:02:31,949
Ryan Newman?

55
00:02:32,017 --> 00:02:34,285
Oh... my God.

56
00:02:34,352 --> 00:02:35,252
Kim?

57
00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:37,387
You look great.

58
00:02:37,455 --> 00:02:38,989
What have you been up
to since...

59
00:02:39,057 --> 00:02:41,992
God, graduation, I think?
Well, I...

60
00:02:42,059 --> 00:02:43,926
I worked as a lawyer
for a while and, um...

61
00:02:43,994 --> 00:02:45,361
Tell her about the time

62
00:02:45,429 --> 00:02:47,096
we microwaved
our toenail clippings.

63
00:02:47,164 --> 00:02:48,965
Uh, but what have you
been up to?

64
00:02:49,032 --> 00:02:50,866
Well, I recently started
my own business--

65
00:02:50,934 --> 00:02:52,702
a dog training facility
in Venice.

66
00:02:52,769 --> 00:02:53,836
That's actually
why I'm here today.

67
00:02:53,904 --> 00:02:55,570
I'm passing out flyers.

68
00:02:55,638 --> 00:02:57,318
I love working with dogs;
They're just such

69
00:02:57,373 --> 00:02:58,907
incredible animals.

70
00:02:58,975 --> 00:03:01,577
Speaking of which,

71
00:03:01,644 --> 00:03:03,111
is this your handsome boy?

72
00:03:03,179 --> 00:03:04,313
Uh, no, no, no.
I actually belong

73
00:03:04,380 --> 00:03:05,414
to a gorgeous blonde.

74
00:03:05,481 --> 00:03:06,948
Yeah.
What?

75
00:03:07,016 --> 00:03:08,950
I never took you for a dog guy.

76
00:03:09,018 --> 00:03:12,487
Well, just like you,
I-I love working with dogs.

77
00:03:12,554 --> 00:03:14,622
Uh, I don't mean "working."

78
00:03:14,690 --> 00:03:16,090
I'm just...

79
00:03:16,158 --> 00:03:18,460
super, super into dogs.
Ryan,

80
00:03:18,527 --> 00:03:21,597
you know I don't like feeling
powerless over my own leg.

81
00:03:21,664 --> 00:03:24,033
Oh, shit.

82
00:03:24,100 --> 00:03:26,001
It's happening!

83
00:03:26,069 --> 00:03:27,903
You guys are really cute.

84
00:03:27,971 --> 00:03:29,472
You know, if your dog
ever needs

85
00:03:29,540 --> 00:03:30,573
any training,
you should totally

86
00:03:30,641 --> 00:03:32,342
bring him to Happy Paws.

87
00:03:32,410 --> 00:03:34,944
Or if you, you know, have
any dog-related questions,

88
00:03:35,012 --> 00:03:37,347
you could just...
call me on my cell.

89
00:03:37,415 --> 00:03:39,449
Um... yeah.

90
00:03:39,517 --> 00:03:41,050
Let me get your number.
Yeah.

91
00:03:41,118 --> 00:03:44,487
I'll never understand
why that happens.

92
00:03:44,555 --> 00:03:46,990
So, you're, like,
"super, super into dogs" now,

93
00:03:47,058 --> 00:03:49,727
is that right?
What? I've always liked dogs.

94
00:03:49,794 --> 00:03:51,562
Then why don't
you have your own dog?

95
00:03:51,630 --> 00:03:53,898
Oh, wait, you do.

96
00:03:53,965 --> 00:03:55,566
Come on, I watch you every day.

97
00:03:55,634 --> 00:03:57,234
It's almost like I'm...
Bullshit.

98
00:03:57,302 --> 00:03:59,203
You just got intimidated
by your old crush.

99
00:03:59,271 --> 00:04:00,237
And since
you couldn't find a pen

100
00:04:00,305 --> 00:04:01,972
to draw on pubes quick enough,

101
00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:03,708
you found some other way
to make yourself look good.

102
00:04:03,775 --> 00:04:05,709
There's nothing wrong with
embellishing a little

103
00:04:05,777 --> 00:04:07,411
when you're talking
to a pretty girl.

104
00:04:07,479 --> 00:04:09,180
Yeah, I used
to play it like that.

105
00:04:09,247 --> 00:04:12,483
I used to tell chicks lies
about myself just to get laid.

106
00:04:12,551 --> 00:04:15,452
One night, I'd be a pilot;
the next, a doctor.

107
00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:18,088
But these women weren't having
sex with a pilot or a doctor.

108
00:04:18,156 --> 00:04:19,890
They were having sex with a lie.

109
00:04:19,957 --> 00:04:21,591
And more sick and depraved
than that?

110
00:04:21,659 --> 00:04:23,360
They were having sex with a dog.

111
00:04:23,428 --> 00:04:25,162
But I learnt my lesson.

112
00:04:25,230 --> 00:04:27,331
And if Kim isn't gonna be
into the real Ryan,

113
00:04:27,399 --> 00:04:29,433
then why do you want
to be with her?

114
00:04:29,501 --> 00:04:30,634
I mean,
for all of Amanda's craziness,

115
00:04:30,702 --> 00:04:32,770
at least she liked you for you.

116
00:04:32,838 --> 00:04:35,039
At least she...
I'm not looking for another Amanda.

117
00:04:35,107 --> 00:04:38,476
At the very least, it'd be fun
to go back to school.

118
00:04:38,544 --> 00:04:40,978
Unlike you, I was one of the
cool kids, back in the day.

119
00:04:42,281 --> 00:04:44,148
All the chicks used
to bark at me

120
00:04:44,216 --> 00:04:46,150
and all the guys
used to bark at me,

121
00:04:46,218 --> 00:04:48,552
but, like, in a kind of
admiring way,

122
00:04:48,620 --> 00:04:50,921
not, like, in a sexual way,
like with the chicks.

123
00:04:50,989 --> 00:04:52,623
I already got Kim's number.

124
00:04:52,691 --> 00:04:54,725
Why would I suffer through
a training course with you?

125
00:04:54,793 --> 00:04:56,827
Mmm. Because maybe training
would be good for me.

126
00:04:56,895 --> 00:04:58,896
Who knows? Maybe
I could even learn

127
00:04:58,964 --> 00:05:01,599
to one day not drool
all over your clothes.

128
00:05:02,734 --> 00:05:04,368
Nice.

129
00:05:06,905 --> 00:05:08,205
Wilfred, no!

130
00:05:08,273 --> 00:05:10,441
Yeah! Garbage is the shit!
God...

131
00:05:10,509 --> 00:05:12,443
Wilfred, drop it!

132
00:05:12,511 --> 00:05:15,713
God. Wilfred!
Oh, God. Oh...

133
00:05:15,781 --> 00:05:17,482
Hey, Ryan. Sorry.

134
00:05:17,549 --> 00:05:19,083
I'm gonna clean
this up. Just...

135
00:05:19,151 --> 00:05:21,552
Wilfred has been acting crazy
these past few days.

136
00:05:21,620 --> 00:05:24,489
No problem. Hey, I just wanted
to return your book. I loved it.

137
00:05:24,556 --> 00:05:25,723
What was your favorite story?

138
00:05:25,791 --> 00:05:27,625
"Safari." Totally.
"Safari"? Right?

139
00:05:27,693 --> 00:05:29,227
Thanks for recommending it.
Oh, it's one of my favorites.

140
00:05:29,294 --> 00:05:30,795
I knew you'd like it.
Make it rain on 'em...

141
00:05:30,862 --> 00:05:31,829
Make it rain on 'em.

142
00:05:31,897 --> 00:05:34,331
God! Wilfred!

143
00:05:34,399 --> 00:05:36,767
I don't know what has
gotten into him. He's been

144
00:05:36,835 --> 00:05:38,436
tearing up the furniture,
peeing in the house--

145
00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:39,971
he hasn't acted like this
since we first got him.

146
00:05:40,039 --> 00:05:41,940
God...

147
00:05:42,007 --> 00:05:44,576
All I can think to do is take
him back to obedience school.

148
00:05:44,644 --> 00:05:47,079
I found this, uh,
flyer in my mailbox.

149
00:05:47,146 --> 00:05:49,582
It's for this new place
called Happy Paws.

150
00:05:49,649 --> 00:05:51,918
I checked it out on Yelp,
and it's got some good reviews.

151
00:05:51,985 --> 00:05:53,505
I'm gonna take him
down there tomorrow.

152
00:05:53,554 --> 00:05:54,687
Hey, why don't...
why don't I take him?

153
00:05:54,755 --> 00:05:56,021
Oh, no, no, no.
I couldn't.

154
00:05:56,089 --> 00:05:57,723
You're way busier than me.

155
00:05:57,791 --> 00:05:59,758
Besides, it'll be fun.
What's the matter, Ryan?

156
00:05:59,826 --> 00:06:01,987
Afraid what your old crush
would think if she found out

157
00:06:01,995 --> 00:06:03,795
I didn't belong to you?
Are you sure?

158
00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:05,030
Yeah.

159
00:06:06,098 --> 00:06:07,032
Feminine hygiene

160
00:06:07,099 --> 00:06:09,267
products are the shit!

161
00:06:30,255 --> 00:06:32,990
Okay, please don't embarrass
me in front of Kim.

162
00:06:33,058 --> 00:06:36,094
Embarrass you?! Relax.

163
00:06:36,161 --> 00:06:39,197
I was the cool kid back
in the day, remember?

164
00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:47,072
Ryan!

165
00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:49,908
Don't be no fool,
just play it cool,

166
00:06:49,976 --> 00:06:52,411
break all the rules
and be yourself.

167
00:06:52,478 --> 00:06:53,645
I'm so glad

168
00:06:53,713 --> 00:06:55,214
you made it.
Yeah, well,

169
00:06:55,282 --> 00:06:56,415
Wilfred's got
a few behavioral tics

170
00:06:56,483 --> 00:06:57,950
I want to iron out.

171
00:06:58,018 --> 00:06:59,451
Well, you came
to the right place.

172
00:06:59,519 --> 00:07:01,320
This is Champ, by the way.

173
00:07:01,388 --> 00:07:03,322
"Hello there, Mr. Ryan.

174
00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:05,958
It's so nice to meet you
on this bright and sunny day."

175
00:07:09,163 --> 00:07:11,464
Holy shit!
She's a dog weirdo!

176
00:07:11,532 --> 00:07:13,666
Little kisses for the mommy.

177
00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:16,369
"Does Wilfred's daddy
get kisses from Wilfred?"

178
00:07:16,437 --> 00:07:18,271
I don't know. Does he?

179
00:07:18,339 --> 00:07:20,239
Come on, give him a kiss.

180
00:07:20,307 --> 00:07:23,009
Ryan. Don't do it.

181
00:07:23,077 --> 00:07:26,546
I'm warning you. Neither
of us is gonna like this.

182
00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:34,020
Oh, so cute.

183
00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:37,089
Aw!

184
00:07:40,762 --> 00:07:41,685
Remember...

185
00:07:41,805 --> 00:07:43,485
I can't believe you--
Force-Frenching me

186
00:07:43,552 --> 00:07:44,553
in front of the whole school

187
00:07:44,620 --> 00:07:46,388
just to impress
that dog weirdo?

188
00:07:46,456 --> 00:07:48,591
Just leave me out of it
from now on.

189
00:07:48,658 --> 00:07:51,060
I don't want to look wack
in front of my classmates.

190
00:07:51,128 --> 00:07:53,563
...so before we get
started, I just want to lay out

191
00:07:53,631 --> 00:07:55,764
a few ground rules:
First of all,

192
00:07:55,884 --> 00:07:58,219
this gate must remain closed
at all times.

193
00:07:58,287 --> 00:07:59,987
We don't want any
of our little babies

194
00:08:00,055 --> 00:08:01,456
running out into the street.

195
00:08:01,524 --> 00:08:03,659
Blah, blah, blah.

196
00:08:03,726 --> 00:08:06,028
Teachers are so lame,
am I right?

197
00:08:06,095 --> 00:08:08,263
Hey, you guys!

198
00:08:08,331 --> 00:08:09,798
Check out the wiener dog!

199
00:08:09,866 --> 00:08:11,566
It's like,
why aren't you on a bun

200
00:08:11,634 --> 00:08:12,801
with ketchup and mustard?

201
00:08:13,970 --> 00:08:15,570
Oh, shit!

202
00:08:17,006 --> 00:08:19,974
Oh, hey, what's up, spots?
Nice spots.

203
00:08:20,042 --> 00:08:21,876
It's like,
look at your spots, dude.

204
00:08:21,944 --> 00:08:25,079
I'm totally making fun
of your spots.

205
00:08:25,147 --> 00:08:26,647
Oh, shit!

206
00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:27,982
Okay, who's next? Who's next?

207
00:08:30,652 --> 00:08:32,287
What's up?

208
00:08:32,354 --> 00:08:33,788
Wilfred, pay attention.

209
00:08:33,856 --> 00:08:36,624
Paying attention
is for narcs and dweebazoids.

210
00:08:36,692 --> 00:08:38,627
Hey, you know what?

211
00:08:38,694 --> 00:08:40,295
You're getting a wedgie,
Poindexter.

212
00:08:43,099 --> 00:08:46,368
...most of our edible products
are organic.

213
00:08:46,436 --> 00:08:49,104
Now, I want to start with
a really basic command,

214
00:08:49,172 --> 00:08:51,507
just to see where we're all at.

215
00:08:51,574 --> 00:08:53,943
Let's try "sit."
Oh, oh. Hey, you guys.

216
00:08:54,010 --> 00:08:55,478
Listen up, listen up.

217
00:08:55,545 --> 00:08:57,313
When Teacher says "sit,"

218
00:08:57,380 --> 00:08:58,514
we all gonna shit.

219
00:08:59,616 --> 00:09:01,418
Ready?

220
00:09:01,485 --> 00:09:04,821
- Wilfred, don't.
- Okay, here we go.

221
00:09:04,889 --> 00:09:06,256
Sit.

222
00:09:10,462 --> 00:09:14,265
Hey! What the hell, you guys?

223
00:09:14,333 --> 00:09:16,367
Looks like some of us
have some work to do,

224
00:09:16,435 --> 00:09:19,271
but that's why we're here.

225
00:09:19,338 --> 00:09:22,641
Your boys and girls worked
very hard, so please feel free

226
00:09:22,709 --> 00:09:24,843
to reward them
with a little snacky.

227
00:09:24,911 --> 00:09:27,646
That's not yours.
That's not yours.

228
00:09:27,714 --> 00:09:31,083
All right, so where's
the cool kids' table?

229
00:09:31,151 --> 00:09:34,287
Hey, is that an open seat
over there?

230
00:09:34,354 --> 00:09:36,455
Oh. It's taken?

231
00:09:36,523 --> 00:09:39,025
Hey, what about that seat?
Is that... Oh,

232
00:09:39,092 --> 00:09:40,393
it's taken as well?

233
00:09:40,460 --> 00:09:41,760
It looks like it's...

234
00:09:41,828 --> 00:09:44,697
Hey! That wasn't very nice.

235
00:09:44,765 --> 00:09:46,866
I was gonna eat that.

236
00:09:46,934 --> 00:09:47,900
What...?

237
00:09:49,403 --> 00:09:51,471
I'm not a loser!

238
00:09:51,538 --> 00:09:53,640
Stop chanting it in unison!

239
00:09:55,876 --> 00:09:57,377
So...

240
00:09:57,445 --> 00:09:59,112
did you enjoy class?

241
00:09:59,180 --> 00:10:02,115
Yeah. It was really helpful.

242
00:10:02,183 --> 00:10:04,285
Look, a lot of people
don't understand

243
00:10:04,352 --> 00:10:06,086
how much attention
dogs really need.

244
00:10:06,154 --> 00:10:08,856
I mean, they're like little
four-legged children.

245
00:10:08,923 --> 00:10:11,492
I say exactly the same thing.
Except I say

246
00:10:11,560 --> 00:10:14,294
they're like little people with four legs.
Well, I think

247
00:10:14,362 --> 00:10:16,130
"little children"
is probably more accurate.

248
00:10:16,198 --> 00:10:19,067
"Little people" sort of
implies dwarves or midgets.

249
00:10:19,134 --> 00:10:20,435
Right.

250
00:10:20,502 --> 00:10:21,502
They're not like midgets.

251
00:10:21,536 --> 00:10:24,539
Look, Ryan, I have to say,

252
00:10:24,606 --> 00:10:27,508
I'm sort of worried
you're in danger of becoming

253
00:10:27,576 --> 00:10:29,811
one of those irresponsible
dog owners.

254
00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:31,847
Oh.

255
00:10:31,914 --> 00:10:35,050
W-Well, the reason Wilfred seems
a little out of control is...

256
00:10:35,118 --> 00:10:36,384
He's a rescue?

257
00:10:36,452 --> 00:10:39,454
Yes. Yeah. Exactly.

258
00:10:39,522 --> 00:10:42,558
I-I... I rescued him
off the street

259
00:10:42,625 --> 00:10:44,360
a-about a month ago.

260
00:10:44,427 --> 00:10:47,663
I found him tied
to a... fire escape.

261
00:10:47,731 --> 00:10:50,199
He was starving
and showed signs of abuse.

262
00:10:50,267 --> 00:10:52,869
Oh, God, that is so sad.
I know.

263
00:10:52,937 --> 00:10:56,373
Sometimes I wish I could adopt
every stray in Venice.

264
00:10:57,942 --> 00:11:00,177
I never knew you were like this.

265
00:11:00,245 --> 00:11:02,579
Like, don't take this the
wrong way or anything, but...

266
00:11:02,647 --> 00:11:04,415
in high school, you just...

267
00:11:04,482 --> 00:11:06,450
you always seemed a little...

268
00:11:06,518 --> 00:11:08,085
detached.

269
00:11:08,153 --> 00:11:09,120
Me? Detached?

270
00:11:09,188 --> 00:11:10,588
Really?

271
00:11:10,655 --> 00:11:12,189
It's too bad we didn't hang out

272
00:11:12,257 --> 00:11:15,126
more back then, you know?

273
00:11:15,194 --> 00:11:17,728
Well, we're here now.

274
00:11:17,796 --> 00:11:20,564
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

275
00:11:22,167 --> 00:11:23,734
A doggy date?

276
00:11:23,801 --> 00:11:26,704
Yeah.

277
00:11:26,772 --> 00:11:29,306
So, school,

278
00:11:29,374 --> 00:11:32,009
that was pretty fun, right?

279
00:11:32,077 --> 00:11:35,346
Hey, listen, Kim and I...
I'm not going back, Ryan.

280
00:11:35,414 --> 00:11:37,048
What? Why?

281
00:11:37,115 --> 00:11:39,884
You were so excited
about going back to school.

282
00:11:39,952 --> 00:11:41,652
It's just...

283
00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:44,822
this new generation,
they're just so much crueler

284
00:11:44,889 --> 00:11:48,592
than they were-- I mean,
we were-- back in the old days.

285
00:11:48,660 --> 00:11:50,761
Some of the kids from class

286
00:11:50,828 --> 00:11:53,263
have been cyber-bullying me
on Facebook.

287
00:11:53,331 --> 00:11:56,266
This guy, he...
barely even knows me.

288
00:11:56,334 --> 00:11:58,868
He called me
"a major dingus."

289
00:11:58,936 --> 00:12:00,937
And-and this other guy,

290
00:12:01,005 --> 00:12:03,940
he said I should
"saw my ears off slowly

291
00:12:04,007 --> 00:12:07,210
"with a dull jigsaw and then
shove my bloody, severed ears

292
00:12:07,277 --> 00:12:09,712
into my own mother's anus."
And that is,

293
00:12:09,780 --> 00:12:11,915
like, really hurtful.

294
00:12:11,982 --> 00:12:14,117
It gets better, Wilfred.

295
00:12:14,185 --> 00:12:15,719
It gets better.

296
00:12:15,787 --> 00:12:17,754
Hey, it's a new school.

297
00:12:17,822 --> 00:12:19,756
You'll fit in eventually.

298
00:12:19,824 --> 00:12:22,926
Besides, if you don't go
back, the bullies win.

299
00:12:24,254 --> 00:12:26,396
You just want me to go back
so you can stick

300
00:12:26,464 --> 00:12:28,732
your non-bulbus-glandis-having,
easily extractable penis

301
00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:30,467
into that dog weirdo.

302
00:12:30,534 --> 00:12:31,668
Hey, you were the one
that convinced Jenna

303
00:12:31,736 --> 00:12:33,203
you needed the training.

304
00:12:33,271 --> 00:12:34,604
Then I'll convince her
I don't need it.

305
00:12:34,672 --> 00:12:36,306
I'll just be
on my best behavior.

306
00:12:36,373 --> 00:12:38,275
And you think Jenna's just
gonna let you out of it?

307
00:12:38,342 --> 00:12:40,510
She prepaid for the
whole course, Wilfred.

308
00:12:43,414 --> 00:12:46,349
Okay, look, I'll lie to Jenna

309
00:12:46,417 --> 00:12:49,019
and tell her that I'm still
taking you to Happy Paws.

310
00:12:49,087 --> 00:12:51,855
But you have to do a
favor for me in return.

311
00:13:08,904 --> 00:13:10,471
Hi.
Hey.

312
00:13:10,539 --> 00:13:12,373
You look great.
Thank you.

313
00:13:12,441 --> 00:13:13,941
That pirate hat is...

314
00:13:14,009 --> 00:13:16,009
The cutest thing ever, right?

315
00:13:16,077 --> 00:13:17,944
Come in.

316
00:13:19,580 --> 00:13:21,314
Where's Wilfred?
Champy wants to play.

317
00:13:21,382 --> 00:13:24,084
Wilfred!

318
00:13:24,151 --> 00:13:26,720
KIM
Bootsies?

319
00:13:26,787 --> 00:13:28,755
I love it!

320
00:13:28,823 --> 00:13:30,490
I've been meaning
to get Champ a set.

321
00:13:30,558 --> 00:13:32,492
I mean, not only
are they adorbs,

322
00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:34,640
but Champs has
got very sensitive paws.

323
00:13:34,696 --> 00:13:37,064
"Yes, I do, Mommy.

324
00:13:37,131 --> 00:13:39,233
I have sensitive paws."

325
00:13:39,300 --> 00:13:41,869
Aw, so cute.

326
00:13:47,509 --> 00:13:50,878
Um, the other day, I saw
this great YouTube video

327
00:13:50,946 --> 00:13:53,975
with two dogs, like, holding hands.
Oh, yeah,

328
00:13:54,043 --> 00:13:56,751
I saw that! So sweet.

329
00:13:56,819 --> 00:13:59,354
Yeah.

330
00:13:59,421 --> 00:14:02,423
So, listen...

331
00:14:02,491 --> 00:14:05,860
I wasn't gonna
say anything, but...

332
00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:10,364
I heard this rumor back
in high school that you...

333
00:14:10,432 --> 00:14:12,600
Okay, I-I did not use a pen
to draw pubic hair...

334
00:14:12,668 --> 00:14:13,768
...had a crush on me.

335
00:14:15,203 --> 00:14:17,538
O-Oh.

336
00:14:17,605 --> 00:14:19,473
Y-Yeah. Um...

337
00:14:19,541 --> 00:14:22,676
that-that one's true.

338
00:14:22,744 --> 00:14:25,245
'Cause I've had
a really fun night so far.

339
00:14:25,313 --> 00:14:26,746
Really?

340
00:14:26,814 --> 00:14:28,381
Although...

341
00:14:28,449 --> 00:14:30,383
I hope it's not over yet.

342
00:14:30,450 --> 00:14:32,251
Huh, baby?

343
00:14:32,319 --> 00:14:33,953
"Gee.

344
00:14:34,021 --> 00:14:36,623
"I'm so tired.

345
00:14:36,690 --> 00:14:40,326
"I think I'd like to sleep over
at Wilfred's house tonight.

346
00:14:40,394 --> 00:14:44,358
"Would Wilfred mind
if my mommy and I slept over?

347
00:14:44,582 --> 00:14:46,465
What does Wilfred
think about that?"

348
00:14:46,532 --> 00:14:48,133
No, Ryan.

349
00:14:48,201 --> 00:14:49,668
Don't you do it.

350
00:14:49,735 --> 00:14:52,938
Cutesy voices were never part
of our deal.

351
00:14:53,006 --> 00:14:55,840
"Me and
my mate Ryan would love that."

352
00:14:57,076 --> 00:14:59,311
An Australian accent?

353
00:14:59,379 --> 00:15:01,413
That's hilar.

354
00:15:01,481 --> 00:15:03,149
I'll just go

355
00:15:03,216 --> 00:15:04,484
grab my stuff.
Okay.

356
00:15:04,551 --> 00:15:07,453
That is not what I was thinking!

357
00:15:07,521 --> 00:15:09,021
I was thinking how ironic it is

358
00:15:09,089 --> 00:15:11,491
that Abraham Lincoln freed
the slaves, yet he himself

359
00:15:11,558 --> 00:15:13,593
was a slave
to a weird beard style!

360
00:15:13,661 --> 00:15:15,261
You crossed the line!

361
00:15:15,329 --> 00:15:18,531
I agreed to help you, and
you totally sold me out!

362
00:15:18,599 --> 00:15:21,067
Calm down! I just used
a stupid, fake voice.

363
00:15:21,134 --> 00:15:22,435
It doesn't matter.

364
00:15:22,503 --> 00:15:24,270
Doesn't matter?!

365
00:15:24,337 --> 00:15:26,471
I want my voice!
Wilfred!

366
00:15:26,539 --> 00:15:29,741
I'll bite your face, bitch!
Wilfred, no!

367
00:15:29,809 --> 00:15:31,176
Stop it!

368
00:15:31,244 --> 00:15:32,344
Ryan, no!

369
00:15:32,412 --> 00:15:33,979
Ryan, what are you doing?

370
00:15:39,893 --> 00:15:42,828
Kim just took off
after lecturing me for an hour

371
00:15:42,896 --> 00:15:45,431
about the proper way
to discipline your dog.

372
00:15:45,499 --> 00:15:47,633
It obviously
doesn't involve violence.

373
00:15:49,269 --> 00:15:51,704
Look...

374
00:15:51,772 --> 00:15:54,541
I-I shouldn't have done
that cutesy voice for you.

375
00:15:54,608 --> 00:15:57,477
I'm sorry.
It's not your fault, Ryan.

376
00:15:57,545 --> 00:16:00,079
Maybe I'd be better off
with a cutesy voice.

377
00:16:00,147 --> 00:16:02,982
My own voice just gets lost
in all the white noise.

378
00:16:03,050 --> 00:16:04,817
You probably noticed

379
00:16:04,885 --> 00:16:07,687
I took down my Facebook page.
I...

380
00:16:07,755 --> 00:16:09,489
did not notice.
I got tired

381
00:16:09,557 --> 00:16:12,192
of all the hate and vitriol.

382
00:16:12,260 --> 00:16:15,028
Champ tweeted tonight
about how earlier

383
00:16:15,096 --> 00:16:18,866
I "totally spazzed out"
like the spaz that I am.

384
00:16:18,934 --> 00:16:22,135
Now everyone at school is
calling me a mental case,

385
00:16:22,203 --> 00:16:25,138
a freak, an outcast.

386
00:16:25,206 --> 00:16:27,140
And they're right.

387
00:16:27,208 --> 00:16:28,675
Well, like we agreed,

388
00:16:28,742 --> 00:16:30,009
you don't have to worry
about going back there.

389
00:16:30,077 --> 00:16:31,277
No, no. You were right.

390
00:16:31,345 --> 00:16:32,945
I have to go back.

391
00:16:33,013 --> 00:16:34,781
Otherwise, the bullies win.

392
00:16:34,848 --> 00:16:37,183
Wilfred, you really don't have to.
I want to.

393
00:16:42,053 --> 00:16:43,985
What are you working on?

394
00:16:44,053 --> 00:16:46,187
I'm drawing a picture...

395
00:16:46,255 --> 00:16:47,588
of mountaintops,

396
00:16:47,656 --> 00:16:49,524
with me on top.

397
00:16:49,591 --> 00:16:51,525
Lemon yellow sun.

398
00:16:51,593 --> 00:16:53,561
Arms raised in a "V."

399
00:16:53,629 --> 00:16:56,630
And the dead lay in pools
of maroon below.

400
00:16:56,698 --> 00:16:58,098
And then...

401
00:16:58,166 --> 00:17:00,367
then there's Spider-Man there.

402
00:17:00,434 --> 00:17:03,303
I just thought
that would be pretty cool.

403
00:17:06,472 --> 00:17:08,573
Wilfred, lie down.

404
00:17:10,943 --> 00:17:13,177
Good work, everyone.

405
00:17:13,245 --> 00:17:14,945
I see lots of improvements.

406
00:17:15,013 --> 00:17:16,880
So, I'll see you next week.

407
00:17:18,483 --> 00:17:20,250
Kim, I-I just want
to apologize again

408
00:17:20,318 --> 00:17:21,685
for what happened
the other night.

409
00:17:21,752 --> 00:17:24,354
Oh, you don't need
to keep apologizing, Ryan.

410
00:17:24,421 --> 00:17:26,822
If you're truly sorry,
you'll consider fixing

411
00:17:26,890 --> 00:17:28,390
your relationship with Wilfred.

412
00:17:28,458 --> 00:17:30,258
Totally. You're right.

413
00:17:30,326 --> 00:17:31,727
Would you be open
to using a muzzle?

414
00:17:33,896 --> 00:17:34,796
Uh...

415
00:17:35,999 --> 00:17:37,966
Y-Yeah, I...

416
00:17:38,034 --> 00:17:40,068
Not only is this going
to eliminate the threat

417
00:17:40,136 --> 00:17:41,302
of Wilfred biting,

418
00:17:41,370 --> 00:17:42,703
the one I got you,

419
00:17:42,771 --> 00:17:44,872
it's a total cute-splosion.

420
00:17:46,241 --> 00:17:47,641
Wilfred...!

421
00:17:47,709 --> 00:17:49,476
What are you doing, boy?
Deeper.

422
00:17:49,544 --> 00:17:51,811
More confident.
Remember, you're in control.

423
00:17:51,879 --> 00:17:54,814
Just doing what all freaks do,
at some point:

424
00:17:54,881 --> 00:17:58,917
sewing the seeds
of chaos and anarchy.

425
00:17:58,984 --> 00:18:00,185
Wilfred, stop!

426
00:18:00,252 --> 00:18:02,320
A little firmer.
A little firmer.

427
00:18:02,387 --> 00:18:04,455
You want me to stop?
Fine.

428
00:18:04,523 --> 00:18:06,624
I'll stop. I promise.

429
00:18:06,691 --> 00:18:10,027
In fact...
let's shake on it.

430
00:18:11,462 --> 00:18:12,329
Oh, God.
Everyone,

431
00:18:12,397 --> 00:18:13,930
the gate is open!

432
00:18:13,998 --> 00:18:15,565
There's nothing
standing between you

433
00:18:15,633 --> 00:18:17,167
and the bustling traffic!

434
00:18:17,235 --> 00:18:19,169
You made me the freak!

435
00:18:19,237 --> 00:18:22,873
Now I'll make you the roadkill!

436
00:18:22,940 --> 00:18:24,641
Come on, boys.
Wilfred, no...

437
00:18:24,709 --> 00:18:27,110
Come on, boys!

438
00:18:27,178 --> 00:18:28,011
Shit.
Come on, boys!

439
00:18:28,079 --> 00:18:29,446
Come on!

440
00:18:29,514 --> 00:18:29,913
Stay!

441
00:18:32,116 --> 00:18:37,888
Noooooo...!

442
00:18:37,955 --> 00:18:40,590
Why can't you just
let the bullying go?

443
00:18:40,658 --> 00:18:42,458
Why do you care so much

444
00:18:42,526 --> 00:18:44,446
about what the other dogs
at school think of you?

445
00:18:47,197 --> 00:18:48,898
I said, what about you?!

446
00:18:48,966 --> 00:18:51,067
Why do you care so much
what Kim thinks?!

447
00:18:51,134 --> 00:18:53,002
I don't know.
Because I like her!

448
00:18:53,070 --> 00:18:55,305
I just want to have fun!
What's the big deal?!

449
00:18:55,372 --> 00:18:57,307
She has no idea
who you really are!

450
00:18:57,374 --> 00:19:00,277
Why are you so afraid
to show her the real you?!

451
00:19:00,345 --> 00:19:03,013
Because the last time I showed
someone the real me,

452
00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:04,881
she was dragged off
to a mental institution.

453
00:19:04,949 --> 00:19:08,385
Ryan...

454
00:19:08,453 --> 00:19:10,921
what happened with Amanda
wasn't your fault.

455
00:19:10,988 --> 00:19:13,423
Yeah, it didn't work out,

456
00:19:13,491 --> 00:19:15,225
but it proves you're capable

457
00:19:15,293 --> 00:19:17,294
of having a deep, healthy
relationship...

458
00:19:17,362 --> 00:19:18,796
as yourself.

459
00:19:18,863 --> 00:19:20,931
Maybe you won't
find it again today.

460
00:19:21,051 --> 00:19:23,768
Maybe not tomorrow.
But someday.

461
00:19:23,835 --> 00:19:26,337
And it'll be worth the wait.

462
00:19:29,621 --> 00:19:32,189
Dropping the class
is not a good idea, Ryan.

463
00:19:32,257 --> 00:19:33,691
Wilfred has a long way to go.

464
00:19:33,758 --> 00:19:35,559
I think he'll be okay.

465
00:19:35,627 --> 00:19:38,862
Well... so when will
I see you again?

466
00:19:38,930 --> 00:19:41,865
I'm sure we'll run
into each other.

467
00:19:41,932 --> 00:19:43,166
Take it easy.

468
00:19:43,234 --> 00:19:44,301
Okay, I'll do it.

469
00:19:44,368 --> 00:19:46,736
Hi, my name is Ryan.

470
00:19:46,804 --> 00:19:48,939
I'm just chatting

471
00:19:49,007 --> 00:19:50,440
with one of
my homies from class.

472
00:19:50,508 --> 00:19:52,642
My hobbies include Ping-Pong,

473
00:19:52,710 --> 00:19:54,311
reading and carrying

474
00:19:54,379 --> 00:19:56,413
my friend's turds around
in a plastic bag.

475
00:19:58,116 --> 00:19:59,683
Oh, you like my Ryan voice?

476
00:20:00,952 --> 00:20:02,853
I know. Nailed it.

477
00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:04,354
Yeah, all right.

478
00:20:04,422 --> 00:20:06,389
Yeah, see you at the party
on the weekend, digger.

479
00:20:06,457 --> 00:20:07,390
I said "digger."

480
00:20:07,458 --> 00:20:09,092
With a "D."

481
00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:12,529
No, no, uh, because you're
a dog and you like to dig.

482
00:20:12,596 --> 00:20:14,597
Digger.

483
00:20:14,665 --> 00:20:16,699
No, I-I d...
I think you missed...

484
00:20:16,766 --> 00:20:18,887
Yep. I'll sh...
I'll shut up.

485
00:20:22,963 --> 00:20:26,165
Huh... I wouldn't have guessed that.
Oh, yes.

486
00:20:26,233 --> 00:20:28,601
The poodle is
a very macho breed.

487
00:20:28,668 --> 00:20:30,803
It takes a tough individual
to pull off that haircut.

488
00:20:30,870 --> 00:20:33,472
If I saw a poodle come at me,
I'd cross the street.

489
00:20:33,540 --> 00:20:36,074
Really?
Oh. Mm-hmm.

490
00:20:36,142 --> 00:20:39,844
I'll tell you what breed
is a little iffy, though.

491
00:20:39,912 --> 00:20:43,214
What?
And this'll surprise you...

492
00:20:44,784 --> 00:20:46,851
...poodles.

493
00:20:46,919 --> 00:20:49,788
But... y-you just
said they were tough.

494
00:20:49,855 --> 00:20:52,557
I bet that's
why you're surprised.

495
00:20:55,895 --> 00:20:58,730
Wait, so... and the ship just
sank to the bottom of the...

496
00:20:58,797 --> 00:21:00,899
deep blue sea?

497
00:21:00,966 --> 00:21:03,101
Yep.
They didn't see the iceberg?

498
00:21:03,169 --> 00:21:04,836
Nope.

499
00:21:04,904 --> 00:21:06,839
And they didn't
smell the iceberg?

500
00:21:06,906 --> 00:21:08,841
Nope.

501
00:21:08,909 --> 00:21:10,676
They didn't hear the iceberg?

502
00:21:10,744 --> 00:21:12,979
Nope.

503
00:21:14,181 --> 00:21:15,929
Idiots.

504
00:21:17,284 --> 00:21:28,632
<font color="#ec14bd">Sync & corrections by honeybunny</font>
<font color="#e9be16">Resync for WEB-DL by </font><font color="#ffffff">lost0ne</font>
<font color="#ec14bd">www.addic7ed.com</font>

