1
00:00:35,552 --> 00:00:36,952
So you don't think
I did the wrong thing
2
00:00:36,953 --> 00:00:38,487
- by breaking up with Paul?
- No.
3
00:00:38,488 --> 00:00:40,289
And you don't think
I gave up on love too soon?
4
00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:42,024
- No.
- Are you just placating me
5
00:00:42,025 --> 00:00:43,259
because you're in a hurry
to catch your plane?
6
00:00:43,260 --> 00:00:46,262
Abso-freakin'-lutely.
7
00:00:46,263 --> 00:00:48,564
Come on, I'm gonna be late
to my great aunt's funeral.
8
00:00:48,565 --> 00:00:50,032
Not that it lessens
the grief,
9
00:00:50,033 --> 00:00:52,134
but I heard
she left me some goodies.
10
00:00:52,168 --> 00:00:54,337
All right, all right.
Go get your funeral swag.
11
00:00:54,371 --> 00:00:55,771
Thanks.
12
00:00:55,772 --> 00:00:58,107
I swear, if they bury her
with that giant Ruby
13
00:00:58,108 --> 00:01:00,376
she promised me,
I'm diving in after it.
14
00:01:03,046 --> 00:01:05,013
Hi, guys.
Can I ask you something?
15
00:01:05,014 --> 00:01:07,816
Yes, you did the right thing
breaking up with Paul.
16
00:01:07,817 --> 00:01:09,652
No, you didn't
give up on love too soon.
17
00:01:09,653 --> 00:01:11,587
And yes, if I hear
one more word about this,
18
00:01:11,588 --> 00:01:13,055
we're going to take
a little trip upstate,
19
00:01:13,056 --> 00:01:15,358
and only one of us
is coming back.
20
00:01:15,392 --> 00:01:17,793
Come on, you guys.
I'm a woman, I need to vent.
21
00:01:17,794 --> 00:01:19,862
It's what we do.
I mean, after a breakup,
22
00:01:19,863 --> 00:01:22,465
we dissect every single moment
of the relationship
23
00:01:22,466 --> 00:01:27,236
until the sound of our own
voices makes us want to scream.
24
00:01:27,237 --> 00:01:30,339
Any chance
we're there yet?
25
00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:33,676
Holly, you don't get it.
We're guys, we're not listeners.
26
00:01:33,677 --> 00:01:37,446
Our ears were built to hear
sports scores and beer ads
27
00:01:37,447 --> 00:01:40,516
and our names called out
during sex.
28
00:01:40,550 --> 00:01:45,854
That happened to me once.
I had my elbow on her hair.
29
00:01:45,889 --> 00:01:47,456
All right, you guys, look,
with eden gone,
30
00:01:47,457 --> 00:01:49,158
I really need
someone to talk to.
31
00:01:49,159 --> 00:01:50,859
I need one of you
to be my woman.
32
00:01:50,894 --> 00:01:51,894
- Oh, not it.
- Not it.
33
00:01:51,895 --> 00:01:53,228
Not it... hey.
34
00:01:53,263 --> 00:01:56,565
Looks like
we have a volunteer.
35
00:01:56,566 --> 00:02:00,035
Wow, is it crowded in here.
36
00:02:00,036 --> 00:02:01,970
Would you mind
if I borrowed this chair?
37
00:02:01,971 --> 00:02:05,675
Not at all, or perhaps
you'd care to join us?
38
00:02:05,709 --> 00:02:08,511
Are you sure I wouldn't be
interrupting your conversation?
39
00:02:08,512 --> 00:02:12,548
Oh, you are, and bless you.
40
00:02:12,582 --> 00:02:13,749
What he's trying to say
41
00:02:13,750 --> 00:02:15,818
is that I just broke up
with my boyfriend
42
00:02:15,819 --> 00:02:17,920
and he's sick of hearing me
yak about it.
43
00:02:17,954 --> 00:02:20,323
Well, of course
we have to yak about it.
44
00:02:20,324 --> 00:02:22,491
We need to vent.
It's our process.
45
00:02:22,492 --> 00:02:24,360
- Ah.
- Thank you.
46
00:02:24,394 --> 00:02:25,761
I've only known her
30 seconds,
47
00:02:25,762 --> 00:02:28,897
she's already
a better woman than you are.
48
00:02:28,932 --> 00:02:31,434
Yeah, well, I mean,
I broke up with my boyfriend
49
00:02:31,435 --> 00:02:33,736
six months ago, and I'm still
not done talking about it.
50
00:02:33,737 --> 00:02:35,471
- Ah.
- Well, you know, the best way
51
00:02:35,472 --> 00:02:39,041
to get over a guy is to jump
right into a new relationship.
52
00:02:39,042 --> 00:02:42,212
Haskell Lutz, jumpable.
53
00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:46,682
Julia sommes,
and for some reason, intrigued.
54
00:02:46,717 --> 00:02:49,385
Ah... hi... hi, jul... hi.
Hi, Julia.
55
00:02:51,254 --> 00:02:52,455
- I'm Holly.
- Hi.
56
00:02:52,456 --> 00:02:54,156
And I don't want to scare you
or anything
57
00:02:54,157 --> 00:02:56,592
but you're my new
best girlfriend.
58
00:02:56,626 --> 00:02:58,594
Hoo hoo! Looks like
I found the fun table.
59
00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:00,229
Yeah!
60
00:03:00,230 --> 00:03:02,365
Hey, let me buy the next round
for my two new friends.
61
00:03:02,366 --> 00:03:03,599
- Okay.
- Scram.
62
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:04,900
- You scram.
- I need a woman.
63
00:03:04,934 --> 00:03:06,469
- I need one worse!
- Ah.
64
00:03:06,503 --> 00:03:08,904
Hello.
65
00:03:08,905 --> 00:03:10,105
All right, now,
66
00:03:10,106 --> 00:03:13,175
let's check out the talent pool,
shall we?
67
00:03:13,209 --> 00:03:15,845
Jackpot, jackpot,
jackpot!
68
00:03:15,846 --> 00:03:17,045
- Hang on, hang on.
- Hmm?
69
00:03:17,046 --> 00:03:18,781
How do you know
that woman's for you?
70
00:03:18,815 --> 00:03:22,918
I just got word
from a lower authority.
71
00:03:22,919 --> 00:03:24,253
Your penis?
72
00:03:24,254 --> 00:03:25,921
That's who's making
your decisions?
73
00:03:25,922 --> 00:03:28,023
I trust him with everything
but stock tips.
74
00:03:28,057 --> 00:03:31,260
Okay, so you don't care
who she is, or what she's like,
75
00:03:31,261 --> 00:03:33,596
or about making any kind
of emotional connection?
76
00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:35,598
Let me check.
77
00:03:35,599 --> 00:03:38,100
No.
78
00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:43,071
Hello.
I couldn't help but notice
79
00:03:43,072 --> 00:03:45,140
that you're reading something
other than a tweet or a text
80
00:03:45,174 --> 00:03:48,477
and I, for one,
say bravo.
81
00:03:48,512 --> 00:03:51,747
Sorry, I hope that didn't sound
like some slick pickup line.
82
00:03:51,782 --> 00:03:54,116
Nope, not even remotely.
83
00:03:54,117 --> 00:03:56,952
- You mind?
- Oh, not at all, have a seat.
84
00:03:56,953 --> 00:04:00,322
So you're reading Hemingway.
Wow, great choice.
85
00:04:00,356 --> 00:04:02,157
You know, I'll never forget
the first time
86
00:04:02,158 --> 00:04:03,158
I read the sun also...
87
00:04:03,159 --> 00:04:07,763
Rises.
88
00:04:11,593 --> 00:04:17,262
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
Sync WEB DL Version by www.twitter.com/JustAdith88
www.addic7ed.com/
89
00:04:20,243 --> 00:04:22,945
- Mmm, this is nice.
- Yeah.
90
00:04:22,946 --> 00:04:24,947
Mmm.
91
00:04:24,948 --> 00:04:26,649
This is nicer.
92
00:04:26,650 --> 00:04:28,484
- Phil.
- Hmm?
93
00:04:28,485 --> 00:04:29,985
There's something
you should know about me.
94
00:04:30,019 --> 00:04:33,055
- Mm-hmm.
- I've had a pretty wild past.
95
00:04:33,056 --> 00:04:34,824
- Me too.
- I guess I'm what
96
00:04:34,825 --> 00:04:38,026
you would call
"a sexual adventuress."
97
00:04:42,198 --> 00:04:46,101
Me too.
98
00:04:46,102 --> 00:04:49,004
But I knew I would never
meet the right guy that way.
99
00:04:49,005 --> 00:04:53,208
So two years ago
I became...
100
00:04:53,209 --> 00:04:56,679
A recommitted virgin.
101
00:04:56,680 --> 00:05:00,282
Me too!
102
00:05:03,219 --> 00:05:04,353
Morning, Haskell.
103
00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:07,055
Don't you "morning" me.
104
00:05:07,056 --> 00:05:11,026
You kept me up all night
with your carnal antics.
105
00:05:11,027 --> 00:05:14,229
Your headboard banging,
your thumping, your squealing.
106
00:05:14,230 --> 00:05:18,534
It sounded like
a haunted whorehouse.
107
00:05:18,535 --> 00:05:20,235
What are you talking
about?
108
00:05:20,236 --> 00:05:22,905
My date left early last night.
It wasn't me.
109
00:05:25,775 --> 00:05:28,978
Water.
110
00:05:28,979 --> 00:05:30,412
That was you last night?
111
00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:34,316
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I had a lady friend over.
112
00:05:34,317 --> 00:05:37,252
And over.
113
00:05:37,253 --> 00:05:38,988
And over.
114
00:05:38,989 --> 00:05:41,356
Wait a sec.
You had sex,
115
00:05:41,357 --> 00:05:42,958
and you struck out?
116
00:05:42,959 --> 00:05:46,762
Nobody told me
it was upside down day.
117
00:05:46,763 --> 00:05:49,431
Easy.
I didn't have sex last night
118
00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:51,600
for a very simple reason.
119
00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:54,937
I'm a recommitted virgin.
120
00:05:54,971 --> 00:05:59,474
Yes, that is what we tell
ourselves, isn't it?
121
00:05:59,475 --> 00:06:01,276
- Recommitted virgin?
- Mm-hmm.
122
00:06:01,277 --> 00:06:02,811
Uh-huh, and when did this
123
00:06:02,812 --> 00:06:04,279
little spiritual awakening
happen?
124
00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:05,548
Last night, when I met
125
00:06:05,549 --> 00:06:08,017
the most smokin' hot woman
on the planet.
126
00:06:10,086 --> 00:06:13,055
Turns out she's
a recommitted virgin too.
127
00:06:13,056 --> 00:06:15,591
What are the chances?
128
00:06:15,592 --> 00:06:17,092
I know
what you're doing.
129
00:06:17,093 --> 00:06:19,528
You're just conning this woman
so you can get her into bed.
130
00:06:19,529 --> 00:06:22,598
Oh, good, I thought
I'd have to explain that to you.
131
00:06:22,599 --> 00:06:24,399
Phil, have you no shame?
132
00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:26,068
A woman has made a choice
that allows you
133
00:06:26,069 --> 00:06:28,303
to get to know her
on a deeper level,
134
00:06:28,337 --> 00:06:31,206
and all you care about
is sex?
135
00:06:31,207 --> 00:06:34,977
You wrecked me
last night.
136
00:06:35,011 --> 00:06:36,645
Call me, baby.
137
00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:39,448
Oh, you bet I will...
138
00:06:39,449 --> 00:06:41,684
You.
139
00:06:42,752 --> 00:06:45,588
Oh!
140
00:06:45,589 --> 00:06:50,392
You don't even know
her name!
141
00:06:50,393 --> 00:06:53,295
Even I get a name
so I know whose call to block.
142
00:06:54,964 --> 00:06:58,266
Ahh.
So I called Julia
143
00:06:58,267 --> 00:07:00,803
to see if she wanted
to get together tonight,
144
00:07:00,804 --> 00:07:03,839
but it turns out
you beat me to it.
145
00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:05,674
Haskell, can I ask a favor?
146
00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:06,809
Yeah.
147
00:07:06,810 --> 00:07:08,243
With eden out of town,
148
00:07:08,244 --> 00:07:10,212
and this whole thing
with Paul,
149
00:07:10,213 --> 00:07:13,148
I could really use someone
to talk to.
150
00:07:13,149 --> 00:07:15,017
I understand.
A bff...
151
00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:16,952
- Yeah.
- A confidant,
152
00:07:16,953 --> 00:07:19,154
someone who understands
the confusing emotions
153
00:07:19,155 --> 00:07:20,656
- that you're going through.
- Exactly.
154
00:07:20,657 --> 00:07:22,157
So you'll call off your date
with Julia?
155
00:07:22,191 --> 00:07:24,693
Not a chance.
156
00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:26,161
Why not, you little cockroach?
157
00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:28,664
I'll tell you why not!
158
00:07:28,665 --> 00:07:30,633
Because Julia just moved here
from Chicago
159
00:07:30,634 --> 00:07:32,367
and she doesn't know
anybody yet,
160
00:07:32,368 --> 00:07:34,202
so I've only got
a 36-hour window
161
00:07:34,203 --> 00:07:38,140
before she meets a guy
with an actual job.
162
00:07:38,141 --> 00:07:41,810
Trust me,
I've run the numbers.
163
00:07:41,811 --> 00:07:45,580
So that's how
you want to play it, huh?
164
00:07:45,581 --> 00:07:50,318
You really think you can go
toe-to-toe with me over a woman?
165
00:07:52,388 --> 00:07:55,791
That's right,
because I've got the one thing
166
00:07:55,792 --> 00:07:59,928
that you can't bring
to the party...
167
00:07:59,929 --> 00:08:03,365
Desperation.
168
00:08:03,366 --> 00:08:05,333
Oh, really?
169
00:08:05,334 --> 00:08:09,038
I'm a single woman in her 40s
who just broke up with a guy
170
00:08:09,039 --> 00:08:11,273
who might've been
her last chance at happiness.
171
00:08:11,274 --> 00:08:13,275
I am desperation!
172
00:08:24,194 --> 00:08:25,294
What time is it?
173
00:08:25,295 --> 00:08:26,896
Julia's picking me up
any minute.
174
00:08:26,930 --> 00:08:29,098
Wait a minute, you ask
your date to pick you up?
175
00:08:29,099 --> 00:08:32,235
Well, it saves cab fare.
176
00:08:35,839 --> 00:08:38,007
So what do you think?
177
00:08:38,008 --> 00:08:41,010
Does this outfit say,
"virgin"?
178
00:08:41,044 --> 00:08:42,678
That's my cardigan.
179
00:08:42,712 --> 00:08:43,880
Until the time's right,
180
00:08:43,881 --> 00:08:47,616
I don't want to let off
any sexual vibe.
181
00:08:47,651 --> 00:08:51,988
Good choice, 'cause nobody's
getting laid in that thing.
182
00:08:51,989 --> 00:08:54,190
Phil, you know,
maybe this whole nefarious plan
183
00:08:54,224 --> 00:08:55,825
is actually an opportunity
184
00:08:55,826 --> 00:08:57,426
for you to get to know
this woman.
185
00:08:57,460 --> 00:09:00,596
Oh, right,
like you're doing with...
186
00:09:00,597 --> 00:09:02,665
What's her name again?
187
00:09:02,666 --> 00:09:05,168
Okay, fine.
I admit, our courtship
188
00:09:05,169 --> 00:09:07,369
may have gotten out of the gate
a bit quickly,
189
00:09:07,370 --> 00:09:10,072
but that's why, tonight,
I'm taking her out
190
00:09:10,073 --> 00:09:11,740
for a long dinner
where we will share
191
00:09:11,741 --> 00:09:13,409
all the details
of our lives.
192
00:09:13,410 --> 00:09:14,811
Hmm.
193
00:09:14,845 --> 00:09:17,046
Ooh, that's Julia.
194
00:09:17,047 --> 00:09:19,715
- Hello, my d...
- Hey, baby.
195
00:09:19,749 --> 00:09:21,684
Oh, hey.
What are you doing here?
196
00:09:21,718 --> 00:09:22,952
I was supposed to
pick you up.
197
00:09:22,986 --> 00:09:25,154
Well, no matter.
I have a lovely evening planned
198
00:09:25,155 --> 00:09:28,157
- so that we can get to know...
- Shh.
199
00:09:31,661 --> 00:09:33,996
Okie dokie.
200
00:09:38,435 --> 00:09:41,137
You're going out
with Haskell Lutz.
201
00:09:41,138 --> 00:09:43,206
Be prepared to be spoiled.
202
00:09:44,474 --> 00:09:46,209
Oh, I forgot my Groupon.
203
00:09:46,243 --> 00:09:48,845
Oh.
204
00:09:48,846 --> 00:09:50,479
- Julia!
- What?
205
00:09:50,513 --> 00:09:51,714
What a surprise!
206
00:09:51,715 --> 00:09:53,216
- What are you doing here?
- Oh.
207
00:09:53,217 --> 00:09:55,617
- Haskell asked me to dinner.
- That's cute.
208
00:09:55,618 --> 00:09:57,086
Listen, I took your advice.
209
00:09:57,087 --> 00:09:59,722
I got a whole new wardrobe
to get over Paul.
210
00:09:59,723 --> 00:10:01,157
- Oh, that's...
- Yeah, you want to see it?
211
00:10:01,191 --> 00:10:02,658
Well, sure,
I'd love to sometime.
212
00:10:02,692 --> 00:10:04,360
- Okay, how about now?
- But what about Haskell?
213
00:10:04,361 --> 00:10:07,864
- Oh, it'll just take a second.
- Uh.
214
00:10:07,865 --> 00:10:12,134
It expired, so I had to
white-out the date... Julia?
215
00:10:16,206 --> 00:10:17,840
What?
216
00:10:17,875 --> 00:10:21,210
You know what.
Give me my date back!
217
00:10:21,245 --> 00:10:23,012
Sorry, kitty cat.
She's mine now.
218
00:10:23,013 --> 00:10:24,947
Huh?
219
00:10:24,948 --> 00:10:26,715
- Look who's here.
- Hello.
220
00:10:26,716 --> 00:10:28,550
Oh, hey.
221
00:10:28,551 --> 00:10:30,920
Holly was just showing me
some of her new outfits.
222
00:10:30,954 --> 00:10:32,255
Oh, how de-lovely.
223
00:10:32,256 --> 00:10:34,523
Shall we begin
this magic carpet ride?
224
00:10:36,393 --> 00:10:38,761
I'm sorry, Holly.
Can we do this another time?
225
00:10:38,762 --> 00:10:42,098
Of course, no worries.
Have a nice time.
226
00:10:45,502 --> 00:10:46,903
Are you okay?
227
00:10:46,937 --> 00:10:51,440
Oh, yeah, I'll just be here...
All alone.
228
00:10:51,441 --> 00:10:56,712
No man, no girlfriend,
no hope.
229
00:10:56,746 --> 00:10:59,748
See?
She's great, let's beat it.
230
00:10:59,783 --> 00:11:01,117
Yeah, you guys go.
231
00:11:01,118 --> 00:11:02,751
You know,
I want someone to be happy.
232
00:11:04,388 --> 00:11:07,089
- Maybe I'll just call Paul.
- No!
233
00:11:07,124 --> 00:11:09,558
No, that is the worst thing
you can do.
234
00:11:09,559 --> 00:11:11,127
Really?
235
00:11:11,128 --> 00:11:14,663
Haskell, I'm sorry, I can't
leave Holly alone tonight.
236
00:11:14,664 --> 00:11:16,632
Would you mind
taking a rain check?
237
00:11:16,666 --> 00:11:18,267
- Well, I...
- Of course he wouldn't.
238
00:11:18,268 --> 00:11:22,604
Would you,
you sweet, sweet man?
239
00:11:22,639 --> 00:11:26,842
Of course not,
my dear, dear friend.
240
00:11:26,843 --> 00:11:29,778
So that's how
you're gonna play it, huh?
241
00:11:29,779 --> 00:11:31,780
Well, just so you know,
242
00:11:31,781 --> 00:11:35,284
from this moment on,
there are no rules.
243
00:11:37,387 --> 00:11:39,388
No rules!
244
00:11:44,260 --> 00:11:46,729
All right, look.
On the count of three,
245
00:11:46,730 --> 00:11:48,831
we'll hang up together,
all right?
246
00:11:48,832 --> 00:11:54,437
Ready?
One, two, three.
247
00:11:54,438 --> 00:11:59,141
No, you hang up.
248
00:11:59,142 --> 00:12:02,911
In the virgin world,
that was phone sex.
249
00:12:02,912 --> 00:12:05,214
Still running
your game, huh?
250
00:12:05,248 --> 00:12:07,483
I intend to close tonight.
251
00:12:07,484 --> 00:12:09,418
I've been around that hot,
little body for three days
252
00:12:09,419 --> 00:12:11,821
and it's killing me, Stuart!
It's killing me!
253
00:12:11,855 --> 00:12:14,156
Phil,
have you no conscience?
254
00:12:14,157 --> 00:12:15,391
For once in your life,
why don't you try
255
00:12:15,425 --> 00:12:17,360
listening to this
instead of...
256
00:12:17,361 --> 00:12:21,163
Don't you tap that.
257
00:12:21,164 --> 00:12:22,798
And look who's talking.
258
00:12:22,799 --> 00:12:25,100
I'm not the only one
whose big dog's driving the bus.
259
00:12:25,134 --> 00:12:28,971
Okay, all right, point taken,
but that ends tonight.
260
00:12:28,972 --> 00:12:30,673
- I'm meeting Sabrina...
- Ah.
261
00:12:30,674 --> 00:12:32,307
Ah.
At the bar,
262
00:12:32,308 --> 00:12:34,910
and the relationship
will not move forward
263
00:12:34,911 --> 00:12:36,545
until I know
everything about her
264
00:12:36,546 --> 00:12:41,216
and she knows more about me
than just my safe word.
265
00:12:41,217 --> 00:12:43,118
So that's why
you kept yelling,
266
00:12:43,119 --> 00:12:46,321
"creme brulee!
Creme brulee!"
267
00:12:47,557 --> 00:12:50,225
Are you okay, Stuart?
268
00:12:50,226 --> 00:12:52,227
I'm fine.
269
00:12:56,499 --> 00:12:58,065
- Hi, Sabrina.
- Hey, baby.
270
00:12:58,066 --> 00:13:01,269
Hi.
271
00:13:01,303 --> 00:13:04,205
Sit... ah!
No, uh, no, no.
272
00:13:04,206 --> 00:13:06,908
No, have a seat.
I thought maybe we could talk
273
00:13:06,909 --> 00:13:08,276
for a change,
get to know each other.
274
00:13:08,310 --> 00:13:11,780
Really?
275
00:13:11,781 --> 00:13:13,948
Yes, yes.
276
00:13:13,949 --> 00:13:15,950
Look, for this
to work for me,
277
00:13:15,984 --> 00:13:18,052
we need to connect
on a deeper level.
278
00:13:18,053 --> 00:13:19,421
Oh.
279
00:13:19,422 --> 00:13:21,489
Tell me about yourself.
I want to know the real Sabrina.
280
00:13:21,524 --> 00:13:22,990
Sure.
What do you want to know?
281
00:13:23,025 --> 00:13:25,226
- What do you do for a living?
- I work in a hospital.
282
00:13:25,260 --> 00:13:26,828
Oh, wonderful.
Doctor, nurse?
283
00:13:26,862 --> 00:13:30,865
In collections.
284
00:13:30,866 --> 00:13:31,999
Ah.
285
00:13:32,034 --> 00:13:34,235
Yeah, say somebody
gets a new heart
286
00:13:34,236 --> 00:13:35,670
and their insurance
runs out,
287
00:13:35,671 --> 00:13:37,271
I'm that scary voice
that wakes them up
288
00:13:37,272 --> 00:13:41,676
in the middle of the night
threatening to take their house.
289
00:13:41,677 --> 00:13:43,277
Wow, what a job.
290
00:13:43,312 --> 00:13:44,546
I know.
291
00:13:44,547 --> 00:13:47,649
How often do you get to do
something you love?
292
00:13:50,953 --> 00:13:52,454
Okay, moving on.
293
00:13:52,455 --> 00:13:54,422
How about your personal life?
Do you have any kids?
294
00:13:54,457 --> 00:13:57,992
Two.
No, three.
295
00:13:58,026 --> 00:14:02,363
Yeah... three.
296
00:14:02,397 --> 00:14:05,467
Wow.
And do they live with you?
297
00:14:05,501 --> 00:14:08,269
No, God, no.
I fobbed them off on my mother.
298
00:14:08,270 --> 00:14:10,438
Somebody's got
to keep her sober.
299
00:14:13,308 --> 00:14:15,242
Okay, I've heard enough.
300
00:14:15,243 --> 00:14:17,278
Sabrina,
I've gotten to know you,
301
00:14:17,279 --> 00:14:19,180
and don't take this
the wrong way,
302
00:14:19,214 --> 00:14:22,016
but you are the most horrid,
despicable...
303
00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:27,555
Hello, is that your foot?
304
00:14:27,590 --> 00:14:29,824
Uh-huh.
305
00:14:31,527 --> 00:14:35,029
No, no, no, no, no, no, I can't.
I can't, you're a monster.
306
00:14:35,030 --> 00:14:36,197
Uh-huh.
307
00:14:36,231 --> 00:14:38,600
There's a handicap stall
in the ladies room.
308
00:14:38,601 --> 00:14:40,301
Why don't we wheel out
whoever's in there
309
00:14:40,302 --> 00:14:42,203
and get freaky
on each other?
310
00:14:45,875 --> 00:14:49,243
- To new friends.
- New friends.
311
00:14:49,244 --> 00:14:51,178
- Mmm.
- Refill.
312
00:14:53,115 --> 00:14:54,248
I'll be right back.
313
00:14:54,282 --> 00:14:55,383
- Oof.
- Ahh.
314
00:14:58,120 --> 00:15:01,990
Oh.
315
00:15:02,024 --> 00:15:05,660
I'll take a trim,
a heel shave,
316
00:15:05,661 --> 00:15:08,095
and... French tips.
317
00:15:08,096 --> 00:15:10,965
After all, I am wearing
peek-a-boo sandals.
318
00:15:10,966 --> 00:15:13,902
Haskell!
How did you get in here?
319
00:15:13,903 --> 00:15:15,236
This is women-only.
320
00:15:15,270 --> 00:15:17,539
Oh, well, these days,
nobody questions it.
321
00:15:17,540 --> 00:15:18,806
Because if you're wrong,
322
00:15:18,807 --> 00:15:20,942
you're a supreme court
test case.
323
00:15:22,110 --> 00:15:24,546
Okay... oh, sorry, lady,
that's my seat.
324
00:15:24,580 --> 00:15:27,281
Was your seat, toots.
325
00:15:27,282 --> 00:15:29,851
Oh, hell no!
326
00:15:29,885 --> 00:15:32,219
Excuse me, I'm just gonna
steal him away for one second.
327
00:15:32,220 --> 00:15:35,623
Whoa, watch the Polish,
watch the Polish.
328
00:15:35,624 --> 00:15:38,526
- Sneaking into a women's spa?
- Mm.
329
00:15:38,527 --> 00:15:41,228
You got some set of balls.
330
00:15:41,263 --> 00:15:43,097
I'm serious,
close your robe.
331
00:15:43,131 --> 00:15:44,933
Oh.
332
00:15:44,934 --> 00:15:48,202
You think that you can steal
my woman and get away with it?
333
00:15:48,236 --> 00:15:49,403
Ha!
334
00:15:49,438 --> 00:15:52,440
Who looks
like the fool now?
335
00:15:52,441 --> 00:15:53,942
- Dah!
- Man in the house!
336
00:15:53,943 --> 00:15:55,076
- Man in the house!
- Give me that!
337
00:15:55,077 --> 00:15:56,243
Give me that, you!
338
00:15:57,613 --> 00:15:59,647
Oh, dear.
Oh... oh, my God.
339
00:15:59,682 --> 00:16:01,616
- Ah.
- Oh, oh, oh.
340
00:16:01,650 --> 00:16:04,518
This is an outrage!
341
00:16:04,519 --> 00:16:06,487
I want my locker deposit
back!
342
00:16:06,488 --> 00:16:09,991
And I was promised
a beauty bag!
343
00:16:10,025 --> 00:16:11,793
Oh, thank God.
344
00:16:11,794 --> 00:16:12,894
Oh!
345
00:16:12,895 --> 00:16:14,829
All right,
I'll call you soon, bff.
346
00:16:14,830 --> 00:16:16,898
And I'll call you sooner.
Get off of me!
347
00:16:16,899 --> 00:16:17,999
Oh, give it up.
348
00:16:29,161 --> 00:16:32,063
This is...
This is fun.
349
00:16:32,064 --> 00:16:34,466
There's gonna be a big payoff
for you at the end of this.
350
00:16:34,500 --> 00:16:36,834
Mittens.
351
00:16:36,835 --> 00:16:39,471
You know,
352
00:16:39,472 --> 00:16:42,707
Dana, these past few days
have been amazing.
353
00:16:42,708 --> 00:16:45,243
You know, it's so freeing
to have sex off the table.
354
00:16:45,277 --> 00:16:46,911
- Phew.
- By now,
355
00:16:46,912 --> 00:16:49,214
the old me would've come up
with some excuse
356
00:16:49,215 --> 00:16:52,384
to take your hand
and caress your fingers.
357
00:16:52,385 --> 00:16:55,387
Uh-huh.
358
00:16:55,421 --> 00:17:00,492
The old me would've brushed
your hair out of your face
359
00:17:00,493 --> 00:17:03,228
so I could look
at those beautiful eyes.
360
00:17:03,262 --> 00:17:05,696
Uh-huh.
361
00:17:05,697 --> 00:17:09,434
And what else
would the old you have done?
362
00:17:09,435 --> 00:17:15,306
Well, the old me
would've leaned in for a kiss.
363
00:17:24,750 --> 00:17:27,952
- Oh, I'm so glad we waited.
- Me too!
364
00:17:27,986 --> 00:17:30,388
- You're really special, Phil.
- You too.
365
00:17:30,389 --> 00:17:34,059
So sweet, so sincere.
366
00:17:34,060 --> 00:17:35,826
Sincere? Really, Phil?
367
00:17:35,827 --> 00:17:38,563
This may be a game for you,
but it's not for her.
368
00:17:38,597 --> 00:17:41,099
This is nice.
369
00:17:41,133 --> 00:17:42,567
Stuart's right.
370
00:17:42,568 --> 00:17:45,736
For once in your life, stop
being led around by your penis.
371
00:17:45,737 --> 00:17:47,439
Man, don't listen to him.
372
00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:48,873
Huh?
373
00:17:48,874 --> 00:17:50,475
Yo, down here.
374
00:17:50,476 --> 00:17:53,978
Have I ever
steered you wrong, dog?
375
00:17:54,012 --> 00:17:57,115
- Is everything okay?
- Yeah, yeah, all good.
376
00:17:57,149 --> 00:17:58,916
- Okay.
- Damn right, it's all good.
377
00:17:58,917 --> 00:18:01,619
Slide a hat on me.
378
00:18:01,653 --> 00:18:03,154
Phil, you can't do this.
379
00:18:03,155 --> 00:18:04,622
She's making you mittens.
380
00:18:04,623 --> 00:18:06,857
You went to church
with her Nana.
381
00:18:06,858 --> 00:18:10,761
Church? Nana?
Hoo!
382
00:18:10,762 --> 00:18:15,833
I have fallen
and I can't get up.
383
00:18:15,834 --> 00:18:18,769
Phil?
384
00:18:18,770 --> 00:18:21,639
I'm gonna need a minute.
385
00:18:21,673 --> 00:18:25,009
I think I know what's wrong.
386
00:18:25,010 --> 00:18:26,177
- No.
- Oh!
387
00:18:26,212 --> 00:18:27,512
No, no,
nothing's wrong.
388
00:18:27,513 --> 00:18:29,347
Please forgive me, Phil.
389
00:18:29,348 --> 00:18:32,016
I nearly corrupted you
and took away your virginity.
390
00:18:32,050 --> 00:18:34,952
Take it!
It's yours!
391
00:18:34,953 --> 00:18:37,555
You be strong,
for both of us.
392
00:18:37,556 --> 00:18:39,457
You are a good man.
393
00:18:39,458 --> 00:18:42,793
No!
No, I'm a bad, bad man!
394
00:18:42,828 --> 00:18:45,830
Let me prove it to you!
395
00:18:46,965 --> 00:18:49,967
Don't you touch me.
396
00:18:55,474 --> 00:18:58,176
Let's just agree to never let
a woman come between us again.
397
00:18:58,177 --> 00:19:01,379
Agreed, and if you still need
a girlfriend to talk to,
398
00:19:01,380 --> 00:19:02,514
I'm your man.
399
00:19:02,548 --> 00:19:04,582
Thanks,
but our little lady's back.
400
00:19:04,583 --> 00:19:05,683
Eden just texted me.
401
00:19:05,684 --> 00:19:06,684
She's back
from her aunt's funeral.
402
00:19:06,685 --> 00:19:08,019
Oh.
403
00:19:08,053 --> 00:19:09,621
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Stop, stop!
404
00:19:09,622 --> 00:19:13,124
Oh, my God!
405
00:19:13,125 --> 00:19:16,461
Wha...
What the hell is that?
406
00:19:16,495 --> 00:19:18,296
I think it's a dog.
407
00:19:18,297 --> 00:19:20,565
It's what my great aunt
left me.
408
00:19:20,599 --> 00:19:23,067
I thought you said she was
leaving you a giant ruby.
409
00:19:23,101 --> 00:19:25,736
Yeah, she did.
Meet Ruby.
410
00:19:25,737 --> 00:19:29,174
Sit, sit, sit.
Sit.
411
00:19:29,175 --> 00:19:30,441
- Oh.
- Okay.
412
00:19:30,442 --> 00:19:33,044
Or drag me through the streets.
Your call.
413
00:19:37,383 --> 00:19:40,351
Bartender, can I get
a double Jack, straight up?
414
00:19:40,386 --> 00:19:42,387
Stay close.
415
00:19:42,388 --> 00:19:45,456
Creme brulee! Creme brulee!
416
00:19:45,457 --> 00:19:47,758
Ah.
417
00:19:47,759 --> 00:19:50,695
- You okay, Stuart?
- When is that woman gonna learn
418
00:19:50,696 --> 00:19:53,431
that "creme brulee"
means "creme brulee"?
419
00:19:53,432 --> 00:19:56,167
I see you're really
getting to know Sabrina.
420
00:19:56,168 --> 00:19:57,602
Oh, no, I did.
421
00:19:57,603 --> 00:20:00,738
She's the most vile,
repulsive woman I've ever met.
422
00:20:00,739 --> 00:20:04,442
And I can't quit her.
423
00:20:04,476 --> 00:20:07,044
I'm at the mercy
of my male parts.
424
00:20:07,045 --> 00:20:09,514
I've become you.
425
00:20:09,548 --> 00:20:11,949
Yeah, well,
I've become you.
426
00:20:11,950 --> 00:20:13,484
Got me all in my head,
427
00:20:13,485 --> 00:20:15,019
thinking about being
a better person,
428
00:20:15,020 --> 00:20:17,088
and damn it, I was!
429
00:20:17,089 --> 00:20:20,291
- Wait, so you...
- No, I couldn't.
430
00:20:20,292 --> 00:20:22,427
My conscience bitch-slapped
my dingus.
431
00:20:22,428 --> 00:20:24,662
Oh.
432
00:20:24,663 --> 00:20:26,831
I just hope you haven't
ruined me for all women now.
433
00:20:26,832 --> 00:20:29,934
Hey, baby.
434
00:20:29,935 --> 00:20:32,437
You with me, Phil?
435
00:20:32,438 --> 00:20:34,439
Right behind you,
big dog.
436
00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:37,173
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