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sync & correction by f1nc0
~ addic7ed.com ~
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3x05 - Shame
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Listen, I hope you realize
how much Drew and I appreciate
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you watching Wilfred all the time.
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So this is just a little thank-you.
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Just ignore what Drew wrote.
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He said it was a pun, but then he,
like, couldn't really explain it, so...
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Aw, Jenna, I-I can't accept this.
It's a thousand dollars.
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Ryan, we owe you the money.
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You spend almost every
day watching Wilfred.
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If we weren't paying you, we'd
be paying another dog sitter.
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Dog sitter?
Well, I-I watch Wilfred 'cause we're...
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'cause I-I like spending time with him.
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Oh, well, then why don't you just...
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why don't you just accept it as a gift?
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- Is this charity?
- Okay, the truth is,
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the other day, we accidentally
got some of your mail,
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and there was this
bright orange envelope
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that said "Mortgage payment
past due, final notice."
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[chuckles]
Wh-What? N-No.
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No, I-I just missed
a payment, that's all.
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It just slipped my mind.
In fact, when I'd gotten that envelope,
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I'd already sent the
check in the mail, so...
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My God, Ryan, I am so sorry.
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- I... I didn't mean to offend you.
- Not at all. Not at all.
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I appreciate the
gesture, but I-I'm good.
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Really. Uh, will you
excuse me for a minute?
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Wilfred!
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What the hell is this?
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It's my bachelor pad.
Pretty nauseating digs, right?
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This room is supposed to be for storage.
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- H-How long has it been like this?
- A month or so.
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I had to create this
sanctuary of stinking detritus.
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You don't understand what it's
like at home right now... no crumbs,
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not even a grease smudge,
everything smells Cloroxy.
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I just wish Jenna would stop hanging out
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with that anal, OCD
clean-freak, Juanita!
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You mean the cleaning lady?
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"The cleaning lady."
Did you just come up with that?
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That is the perfect nickname for her.
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I'm gonna have to spend
all day cleaning this up.
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Before you get
hysterical, let me show you
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what I've done with the place.
I think you're gonna like it.
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Over here, we've got a massive
pile of Drew's used Q-tips.
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[groans]
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Big, moldy cantaloupe.
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Maroon 5.
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Over there's a...
rancid turkey carcass.
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And that's just
a weird, like, thing.
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I have no idea what that is.
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You look like you could use a drink.
Shall we move to the bar?
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The bar?
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Jenna [in distance] Ryan, are you okay?
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Uh, yeah!
Just... looking for something!
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Be back in a sec!
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- Why not tell her to come up?
- Ugh. No.
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I-I'm not giving Jenna another
reason to think my life's pathetic.
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It's bad enough she
saw my mortgage notice.
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- But you said you paid it.
- I lied.
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The truth is, I owe the bank
$12,000 that I don't have.
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Okay, I don't understand amounts,
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so I gather from your tone
that that's, like, awesome?
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I'm basically a dog sitter.
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That's what Jenna called me,
by the way.
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When I quit my Dad's firm,
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I-I didn't expect my life
to turn out like this.
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I hang out and smoke weed with
the neighbor's dog all day.
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Shame is like having a daughter
with red hair and freckles;
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you cannot let it
become part of your life.
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Or maybe shame will motivate me
to pay my bills like a normal adult.
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Look, I know what you're hinting at,
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and I don't mind paying a little rent.
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I'll give you, uh... that thing.
What is that?
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Wait. That's a great idea.
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No. Actually, I can't give
that up; it's my favorite thing.
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But I'll give you five pigeon dicks.
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No. I'm talking about renting
this floor to a person.
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At least until I find a job.
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- What?
- They wouldn't be involved in my life.
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I'll put a lock on the basement door.
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We'll just have to be a
little bit more careful.
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Besides, all you really care about
is losing your bachelor pad.
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You can't take this away from me, Ryan.
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This is who I am!
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What is this?
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As you can see, Chris, the room
gets plenty of natural light.
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I have to say, I'm a
bit of a clean-freak,
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and this place looks spotless.
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There's nothing wrong
with being a clean-freak.
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Oh, and I know that
there's a towel bar missing.
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I'll put a new one in tonight.
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And there's also a closet
here; it's got plenty of space.
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This is perfect.
I'll take it.
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Great! Well, a-assuming
the credit check goes well,
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I'll just plan on e-mailing
you the lease tomorrow.
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Looking forward to living together.
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[Wilfred panting]
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Ryan, I'm Jonesing here.
I've barely smelt or tasted
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anything putrid in over 12 hours.
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I'm not gonna let you
sabotage this, Wilfred.
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I'm getting a roommate...
that roommate.
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Come on, Ryan, can't you at least...
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Loafers with no socks?
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I'll bet you got some
moist, sweaty toes in there.
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C-Can I just have a little taste, Ryan?
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Come on, man!
I'm freakin' out here!
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Just l-let me suck
your little pinky toe!
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Wilfred, no!
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I'll suck your dick to suck your toes.
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[knocking]
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[panting]
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Hey, I'm here about the apartment.
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Uh, right.
You must be Anne.
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- Did you jog here or something?
- No.
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Onion rings grease.
[panting] Cheetos powder.
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Barbecue sauce.
Well, hello, napkin pants.
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Listen, uh, thank you for stopping by,
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but the apartment's
actually taken, so...
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What? Oh!
That sucks!
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- Are you serious?
- Ryan: Yeah.
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Man, talk about a rough month.
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First my boyfriend doesn't make parole.
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Then my grandma dies from
diabetes, which is, like,
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a huge bummer, 'cause
she's, like, my best friend.
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And then my grandpa
kicks me out of the house,
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so I go back to pick up
some shit I left behind,
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- and guess what?
- What?
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He just blasts me in the leg
with an air gun full of rock salt.
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[Ryan groans]
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Jesus.
I'm... sorry.
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Oh, it's not so bad.
When I bend my leg like this,
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my knee looks like
a mountaintop, you know,
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with all the little craters.
Like in Hawaii.
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So that's pretty cool.
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You know, my tongue's always
wanted to visit Hawaii.
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Anyways... here's my e-mail,
in case that other guy flakes.
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Oh. Oh, man, I'm sorry.
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It was nice meeting you.
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- So, when can she move in?
- Are you kidding?
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Ryan, before you make a rash decision,
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there's something you need
to know about that woman.
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She has a bag of two-day-old
egg rolls in her backpack.
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I'm going with Chris.
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You're gonna have to get
your gross fix somewhere else.
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Gross fix?
I am an Epicurean!
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Oh, hey, roomie.
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[TV playing indistinctly]
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Wilfred! [pats leg]
Come here.
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How the hell did this happen?
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It was pretty simple, actually.
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I sent a signed rental agreement to Anne
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from your Yahoo account
while you were out.
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I also e-mailed all
your friends and family
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about this great new
penis-enlargement supplement.
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- I really believe in it.
- I'm kicking her out.
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Then you'll be on the hook
for $3,000, plus moving costs.
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- You put that in the lease?
- It's pretty standard.
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No. You're just trying to make it
impossible for me to get rid of her.
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- This is a disaster!
- Look, I realize
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Anne was only your second
favorite roommate choice,
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but guess what, she's paying
three months' rent up front.
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Give her a chance;
get to know her.
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You might be surprised
by what she has to offer.
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[knocking]
Anne: Come in.
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Good morning.
Sleep well?
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No!
I had the worst night sweats ever.
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Took off all my clothes,
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just slept on top of my covers naked.
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Had to let myself, like... air out.
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Uh, l-listen, I-I think we
sort of rushed into this...
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roommate situation.
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You know, since we'll
be living together,
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maybe we should get
to know each other.
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- Totally.
- Like, what do you do for a living?
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I run a small Internet business.
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- Really?
- Yeah, started it myself.
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Attracted investors,
built up a user base.
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Wow. Is it media-related
or more social networking?
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Oh, people pay to watch me eat.
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- So you're, like, a food critic?
- No. I just eat food on my webcam.
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It's a great job, actually.
[chuckles]
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I mean, I'm not naive.
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I realize that most of my clients are...
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you know... men,
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but [sighs]...
I love being my own boss.
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Basically, you get paid
a shit-load of money
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to eat three meals a day.
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And the second I get a creepy
vibe from someone, I ban them.
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[electronic tone sounds]
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- Wait, uh, are you working right now?
- Yeah.
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Ooh, hold on. I got a private
session request coming in.
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[mouth full] Oh, hey, Frank.
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Hey, Anne. Hey, that
sandwich looks a little dry.
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I was thinking... maybe you could put
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some more of that dijonnaise on it?
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You got it, Frank.
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Ooh...
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[quietly] That's perfect.
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Oh, and where'd your lesbian friend go?
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I want to watch her eat
some chicken nuggets.
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[moaning]
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[chuckles]
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[sighs]
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This is torture.
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Anne came down this morning
wearing only her nightshirt,
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sat on the living room chair
and basically Sharon Stone'd me.
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Ugh.
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It's only been two weeks,
but it feels like two months.
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I don't think our situation's
changed all that much.
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00:10:00,365 --> 00:10:04,367
- Really? [wheezing]
- Not in any way I can think of, no.
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00:10:04,435 --> 00:10:06,269
[wheezing]
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- What are you doing?
- Anne's bed sheet.
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Unlike you, she doesn't have
iron-fisted rules about snacking in bed.
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00:10:17,081 --> 00:10:18,547
Uh, yes, Bear,
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I am really going for my
fifth Nilla Wafer crumb.
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00:10:21,084 --> 00:10:22,852
I didn't realize there was a limit
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00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:25,188
to how many Nilla Wafer
crumbs I could eat!
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00:10:25,256 --> 00:10:27,424
What did you call me?
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00:10:27,491 --> 00:10:30,660
Well, if you're referring to
the fact that I enjoy blues
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and like to travel, then yes,
I guess I am a blues traveler.
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Wilfred, have you looked
in the mirror lately?
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[chuckles] Oh, yeah.
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There's some new fat
dog hanging out in there.
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00:10:41,806 --> 00:10:44,641
I made fun of him yesterday
for, like, three hours.
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00:10:44,709 --> 00:10:48,545
That dog is you. You keep
eating all the food Anne drops.
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00:10:48,613 --> 00:10:50,280
Me, fat?
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00:10:50,348 --> 00:10:54,803
Is that why that dog in the mirror
keeps saying such hurtful things?
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[phone chimes]
Yes!
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[sighs] Thank God.
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I got a job interview at
Silverstein and Goldblatt.
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00:11:01,159 --> 00:11:03,493
- Interview?
- The faster I get a job,
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00:11:03,561 --> 00:11:05,962
the faster I can afford
to break Anne's lease.
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00:11:06,030 --> 00:11:08,998
As a lawyer? But you hated
working at your dad's firm.
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00:11:09,066 --> 00:11:11,667
You said you used to sit in
your car in the parking lot every
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00:11:11,668 --> 00:11:14,269
morning, dreading the idea
of setting foot in that place.
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00:11:14,337 --> 00:11:15,771
It wasn't about being a lawyer.
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00:11:15,839 --> 00:11:18,607
I hated working for my dad.
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00:11:19,075 --> 00:11:20,675
You just don't want me to get a job
239
00:11:20,743 --> 00:11:22,043
because of your parasitic
relationship with Anne.
240
00:11:22,111 --> 00:11:26,247
Anne is a friend to me, nothing more!
241
00:11:26,315 --> 00:11:28,683
So I didn't spend last
night watching you wring out
242
00:11:28,750 --> 00:11:31,185
the armpits of her sweaty
T-shirts into a Cologne bottle?
243
00:11:33,322 --> 00:11:36,724
Oh...!
Oh, that is horrid.
244
00:11:38,794 --> 00:11:40,494
Hey! Looking good.
245
00:11:40,562 --> 00:11:42,863
[chuckles] Yeah. I'm just
heading off to an interview.
246
00:11:42,931 --> 00:11:46,834
With a law firm, actually.
A pretty big one, so...
247
00:11:46,902 --> 00:11:49,470
Oh, that's exciting.
Good luck.
248
00:11:49,538 --> 00:11:52,807
By the way, are you renting
out a room in your house?
249
00:11:52,875 --> 00:11:55,376
Uh... because the other morning,
I saw this woman...
250
00:11:55,444 --> 00:11:57,746
and I'm not accusing her of anything...
251
00:11:57,814 --> 00:12:00,715
but I saw her take my newspaper
and walk into your house.
252
00:12:00,783 --> 00:12:02,483
Uh, she's just...
253
00:12:02,551 --> 00:12:06,722
a-a family friend who needed
a place to stay for a few weeks.
254
00:12:06,789 --> 00:12:08,523
She should be gone soon.
255
00:12:08,591 --> 00:12:11,093
I'll-I'll talk to her about the paper.
256
00:12:11,161 --> 00:12:13,428
Good luck.
257
00:12:13,496 --> 00:12:16,298
Do you have any mass tort experience.
258
00:12:16,366 --> 00:12:18,667
Technically, no, but I
published a series of articles
259
00:12:18,735 --> 00:12:21,604
about the Fen-Phen case in the
Stanford Law Review in 2005.
260
00:12:21,671 --> 00:12:23,906
- Mm.
- It was very well received.
261
00:12:23,974 --> 00:12:26,509
I actually brought a copy with me today.
262
00:12:26,577 --> 00:12:28,111
What is that?
263
00:12:30,448 --> 00:12:33,851
It's just a... thing.
264
00:12:36,455 --> 00:12:39,390
What? Oh, I'm just punching
an extra hole in my collar.
265
00:12:39,458 --> 00:12:42,660
I think it shrunk because Jenna
put it in the dryer or something.
266
00:12:42,728 --> 00:12:44,562
I don't give a shit about your collar.
267
00:12:44,630 --> 00:12:46,931
I know what you did.
That thing?
268
00:12:46,999 --> 00:12:51,135
Uh, thing? You got to be
a little bit more specific.
269
00:12:51,203 --> 00:12:54,138
You sabotaged my job interview!
270
00:12:54,206 --> 00:12:58,610
You're damn right I did!
I will not stand idly...
271
00:12:58,678 --> 00:13:01,246
I will not stand...
272
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:05,651
I will not sit idly by
and let you kick Anne out.
273
00:13:05,718 --> 00:13:07,853
Oh, good, you're home.
274
00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:12,307
So, I kind of caused a plumbing
issue upstairs, and I'd plunge
275
00:13:12,308 --> 00:13:16,695
it myself, but my gout is back
this week with a vengeance.
276
00:13:16,763 --> 00:13:18,197
I can barely...
277
00:13:18,265 --> 00:13:19,765
[groans, inhales sharply]
278
00:13:19,833 --> 00:13:24,002
I can't take this anymore!
You are impossible to live with.
279
00:13:24,070 --> 00:13:26,838
You're sloppy and unhygienic;
280
00:13:26,906 --> 00:13:30,008
you blurt out weird, random
shit that no one cares about;
281
00:13:30,076 --> 00:13:32,077
you stole my neighbor's
newspaper; and your job,
282
00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:35,180
it's basically a creepy
type of fetish porn.
283
00:13:35,248 --> 00:13:37,282
Your life is a mess!
284
00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:40,118
And the worst part about it is
you have no idea.
285
00:13:40,186 --> 00:13:41,954
Or maybe you just don't care.
286
00:13:42,021 --> 00:13:44,523
If I could afford it, I
would have kicked you out
287
00:13:44,591 --> 00:13:45,957
the second you moved in.
288
00:13:48,361 --> 00:13:51,063
Anne?
Anne, I appreciate you.
289
00:13:51,131 --> 00:13:53,465
Thanks to you, I've
become a better individual!
290
00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:55,033
I need...
291
00:13:55,101 --> 00:13:56,301
[groans]
292
00:13:57,536 --> 00:13:59,304
[weakly] Ryan...
293
00:14:10,155 --> 00:14:14,459
Anne...
I'm sorry. [sighs]
294
00:14:14,526 --> 00:14:17,161
You know, you might find
this hard to believe, Ryan,
295
00:14:17,229 --> 00:14:20,565
but you're not the first person
to criticize me and my lifestyle.
296
00:14:20,633 --> 00:14:22,100
[Wilfred in distance]
Don't worry, Anne!
297
00:14:22,168 --> 00:14:24,702
I'm coming up to defend
you from his harsh words!
298
00:14:24,770 --> 00:14:27,137
Look, I-I shouldn't have
blown up at you like that.
299
00:14:27,205 --> 00:14:29,574
I-I didn't mean for it
to come out that way.
300
00:14:29,641 --> 00:14:31,576
That was wrong of me.
301
00:14:31,644 --> 00:14:35,113
[sighs] You... you really
think my life is a mess?
302
00:14:35,181 --> 00:14:39,451
For what it's worth, it's not like
I've got my life together right now.
303
00:14:39,518 --> 00:14:43,287
I... I was a lawyer,
and now I'm unemployed.
304
00:14:43,355 --> 00:14:45,456
[Wilfred wheezing]
Almost there.
305
00:14:45,524 --> 00:14:48,793
I'm just saying, maybe we're
both in a rut right now.
306
00:14:48,860 --> 00:14:51,095
Maybe-maybe we could
help each other out.
307
00:14:51,163 --> 00:14:54,599
I-I'd just hate to see
you leave like this.
308
00:14:54,667 --> 00:14:57,969
Wilfred: God, did you add,
like, a hundred stairs here?
309
00:14:58,036 --> 00:15:01,973
Well, I have to admit, my
grandpa's said some pretty
310
00:15:01,974 --> 00:15:05,910
mean shit to me over the
years, and it always hurt.
311
00:15:05,978 --> 00:15:08,413
But I never knew what to do about it.
312
00:15:08,481 --> 00:15:11,116
You're, like, the first
person to offer to help.
313
00:15:11,184 --> 00:15:14,620
I want to help. I really do.
314
00:15:14,688 --> 00:15:16,922
[Wilfred wheezing]
315
00:15:16,990 --> 00:15:19,024
[panting]
316
00:15:23,262 --> 00:15:25,897
[inhales]
317
00:15:25,965 --> 00:15:27,933
[continues panting]
318
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:28,967
[birds chirping]
319
00:15:29,035 --> 00:15:30,435
[door opens]
320
00:15:30,503 --> 00:15:33,873
- Hey. Looking good.
- Aw, thanks. [chuckles]
321
00:15:33,940 --> 00:15:36,041
- You still excited about the job?
- Well, the first day
322
00:15:36,109 --> 00:15:39,278
was pretty cool, so I
assume day two will be fun.
323
00:15:39,345 --> 00:15:42,548
I mean, the temp agency only
has me doing paperwork and stuff,
324
00:15:42,616 --> 00:15:46,619
but the insurance business is...
actually interesting.
325
00:15:46,687 --> 00:15:49,789
That's great.
Oh. Um, bagel for the road?
326
00:15:49,857 --> 00:15:52,693
Uh, no. Just coffee, thanks.
327
00:15:54,696 --> 00:15:57,765
I know you were against
it, but you have to admit,
328
00:15:57,832 --> 00:16:00,301
Anne's really turned a corner.
329
00:16:00,369 --> 00:16:03,404
- What's that?
- Nothing.
330
00:16:03,472 --> 00:16:07,275
[sighs] It's just that...
lately I've been having some trouble
331
00:16:07,343 --> 00:16:10,745
reaching certain areas of my
body that require cleaning.
332
00:16:10,813 --> 00:16:12,781
It's probably just something
to do with flexibility.
333
00:16:12,848 --> 00:16:16,117
[groans] I just need to
stretch a little more is all.
334
00:16:16,185 --> 00:16:18,720
But, uh, for now, I've been getting by
335
00:16:18,787 --> 00:16:21,789
with the help of a,
uh, tongue on a stick.
336
00:16:24,626 --> 00:16:26,327
[moans]
337
00:16:26,395 --> 00:16:28,530
Wilfred, your weight has
gotten out of control.
338
00:16:28,597 --> 00:16:30,465
You're gonna give
yourself a heart attack.
339
00:16:30,533 --> 00:16:32,634
For the last time, I am not fat.
340
00:16:32,701 --> 00:16:34,802
I'm just a little on the husky side.
341
00:16:34,870 --> 00:16:36,938
Come on, we're going for a walk.
342
00:16:37,006 --> 00:16:41,376
- Pick up the pace, big guy.
- [groans] "Big guy"?
343
00:16:41,443 --> 00:16:44,011
Do you not see this
Hawaiian shirt I'm wearing?
344
00:16:44,079 --> 00:16:46,647
I reckon it makes me look
like one of the Strokes.
345
00:16:46,715 --> 00:16:49,116
Ah. Is that why you wore
a giant white T-shirt
346
00:16:49,184 --> 00:16:51,052
when you went swimming
in the ocean yesterday?
347
00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:53,087
Uh, sunburn?
348
00:16:53,155 --> 00:16:55,256
[yelling]
349
00:16:55,323 --> 00:16:58,159
Aw, forget it!
350
00:16:58,226 --> 00:17:01,028
I'm not gonna let you ruin
me the way you ruined Anne.
351
00:17:01,096 --> 00:17:02,463
I didn't ruin anyone.
352
00:17:02,531 --> 00:17:04,832
What, you think Anne
was better off before?
353
00:17:04,900 --> 00:17:07,135
Sure, she wasn't clean or refined,
354
00:17:07,202 --> 00:17:10,504
she didn't not use your
computer power cord as a belt,
355
00:17:10,572 --> 00:17:15,376
but she loved her life,
openly, freely, unashamed.
356
00:17:15,443 --> 00:17:17,845
You ripped the horn
off the unicorn, Ryan,
357
00:17:17,913 --> 00:17:20,114
because you wanted to
make it a normal horse,
358
00:17:20,182 --> 00:17:21,982
but it'll never be a normal horse,
359
00:17:22,050 --> 00:17:25,686
because now there's that
circular scab in its forehead.
360
00:17:25,754 --> 00:17:27,754
- I'm helping her, Wilfred.
- What you're doing to her
361
00:17:27,822 --> 00:17:32,292
is exactly what your father did
to you your entire adult life.
362
00:17:32,359 --> 00:17:33,760
That's not true.
363
00:17:33,828 --> 00:17:36,229
Anne is happier now
than she's ever been.
364
00:17:36,296 --> 00:17:37,863
Are you sure about that?
365
00:17:39,999 --> 00:17:41,233
Is that Anne?
366
00:17:41,301 --> 00:17:46,472
Sitting alone in her parked
car before work. Sound familiar?
367
00:17:54,981 --> 00:17:56,448
Ryan, hey.
368
00:17:56,516 --> 00:17:58,150
I-I thought you were
going to work today.
369
00:17:58,218 --> 00:18:01,370
I, uh, I-I was. I meant to, but once I
370
00:18:01,371 --> 00:18:04,522
started driving there,
I just had to pull over.
371
00:18:04,590 --> 00:18:06,524
You said the first day was cool.
372
00:18:06,592 --> 00:18:10,528
It was awful.
They put me in a cubicle
373
00:18:10,596 --> 00:18:13,664
and had me enter data
into a spreadsheet.
374
00:18:13,732 --> 00:18:16,567
And then at lunch, I
just sat there in silence
375
00:18:16,635 --> 00:18:20,237
while my coworkers talked
about a sale on drapery runners.
376
00:18:20,305 --> 00:18:23,140
I didn't want to open
my mouth, 'cause I knew
377
00:18:23,207 --> 00:18:26,643
I'd say something weird
or talk about my back fat.
378
00:18:26,711 --> 00:18:30,580
And then I was afraid I'd spill
stuff on my clothes, you know.
379
00:18:30,648 --> 00:18:32,516
And the blouse I was
wearing was so tight.
380
00:18:32,584 --> 00:18:35,252
This one's so tight, it's
just, like, suffocating me.
381
00:18:35,320 --> 00:18:38,188
And this bun is, like,
giving me a migraine.
382
00:18:38,256 --> 00:18:40,224
I can't even think!
383
00:18:40,291 --> 00:18:41,491
[sighs]
384
00:18:41,559 --> 00:18:46,063
I'm sorry, Ryan. I know a lot of
people hate their jobs, and they just
385
00:18:46,064 --> 00:18:50,567
got to make it through their day...
you know, you've got to be strong.
386
00:18:50,635 --> 00:18:54,204
Anne, no. Th-this isn't right.
This isn't you.
387
00:18:54,272 --> 00:18:56,807
Honestly, I-I'm the
one who should be sorry.
388
00:18:56,875 --> 00:18:58,241
For what?
389
00:19:00,044 --> 00:19:01,678
[panting]
390
00:19:01,746 --> 00:19:04,414
For ripping the horn off the unicorn.
391
00:19:07,017 --> 00:19:10,553
That actually sounded kind
of cheesy when you said it.
392
00:19:13,423 --> 00:19:19,596
Look at her. She's so...
comfortable with herself.
393
00:19:19,663 --> 00:19:23,399
- Why was I so threatened by her?
- Maybe you were jealous?
394
00:19:23,467 --> 00:19:26,870
That's true.
I could never live like her.
395
00:19:26,937 --> 00:19:28,371
- Why not?
- Come on.
396
00:19:28,439 --> 00:19:31,941
You know what my life is like.
It's pathetic. I'm always just...
397
00:19:32,009 --> 00:19:34,376
Hanging out and smoking weed
with your neighbor's dog?
398
00:19:34,444 --> 00:19:35,911
- Exactly.
- Talking about
399
00:19:35,979 --> 00:19:40,049
deep shit, laughing our asses off,
going on crazy adventures,
400
00:19:40,116 --> 00:19:42,985
having a truly unique
and remarkable friendship?
401
00:19:43,053 --> 00:19:44,553
I mean, sure, you don't know exactly
402
00:19:44,621 --> 00:19:46,623
what you want to do with your life yet,
403
00:19:46,690 --> 00:19:48,892
but at least you know
what you don't want to do.
404
00:19:48,959 --> 00:19:52,629
Doesn't sound so bad
when you say it like that.
405
00:19:52,697 --> 00:19:55,532
No, it doesn't, mate.
406
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:59,703
And when you say "smoking weed,"
what you mean to say is,
407
00:19:59,771 --> 00:20:02,933
"smoking that dank-ass O.G.
kush mixed with White Widow."
408
00:20:02,968 --> 00:20:03,674
[chuckles]
409
00:20:03,742 --> 00:20:06,710
What are you looking at, fat boy?!
410
00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:11,916
I told you, Wilfred, that's you.
411
00:20:11,983 --> 00:20:15,987
No. That's Alec Baldwin
from It's Complicated.
412
00:20:16,054 --> 00:20:21,358
Holy shit, that is me.
I'm fat, dude.
413
00:20:25,801 --> 00:20:28,935
So, I finally introduced Jenna to Anne.
414
00:20:29,003 --> 00:20:31,037
I came clean about her being my roommate
415
00:20:31,105 --> 00:20:32,773
and me needing the money and all.
416
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:35,642
I actually didn't feel as
embarrassed as I thought I would.
417
00:20:35,710 --> 00:20:37,611
'Cause you have no reason to be, mate.
418
00:20:39,180 --> 00:20:42,950
Of course it's me, Bear.
Who else would it be?
419
00:20:43,018 --> 00:20:47,755
Oh, what, you think I can't talk
and satisfy you at the same time?
420
00:20:50,225 --> 00:20:52,026
[quietly] I've got to take a piss.
421
00:20:52,094 --> 00:20:54,695
Finish Bear off for me?
422
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:03,843
sync & correction by f1nc0
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