1
00:00:06,328 --> 00:00:09,008
Tonight...
A dog looks over a wall...

2
00:00:10,285 --> 00:00:12,045
..we drive some chairs...

3
00:00:13,285 --> 00:00:16,125
..and The Stig
does a skid in a supercharged Jag.

4
00:00:16,150 --> 00:00:21,255
<font color="#3399CC">Subtitles by </font><font color="ffffff">MemoryOnSmells</font>
<font color="#3399CC">http://UKsubtitles.ru.</font>

5
00:00:23,565 --> 00:00:24,883
Hello, everybody!

6
00:00:24,885 --> 00:00:27,563
Thank you so much.
Thank you very much.

7
00:00:27,565 --> 00:00:29,763
Thank you.

8
00:00:29,765 --> 00:00:31,843
Now...

9
00:00:31,845 --> 00:00:36,643
Now, every year we like to take
three of the latest super-expensive

10
00:00:36,645 --> 00:00:41,283
supercars over to continental Europe
to find out which one is best.

11
00:00:41,285 --> 00:00:45,445
But these days, thanks to
the financial crisis over there,

12
00:00:45,574 --> 00:00:48,414
that's proving to be a bit tricky.

13
00:01:02,894 --> 00:01:05,892
Here in Britain, the economy
is not that great

14
00:01:05,894 --> 00:01:09,252
but from what we understand,
over the border in Spain,

15
00:01:09,254 --> 00:01:11,074
things are absolutely dreadful.

16
00:01:11,109 --> 00:01:14,267
Yes, so it really wouldn't be
appropriate for us to do what

17
00:01:14,269 --> 00:01:18,867
we usually do and turn up in three
million-pound V12 monsters.

18
00:01:18,869 --> 00:01:21,707
No, because that would just look
like we were showing off. Exactly.

19
00:01:21,709 --> 00:01:25,307
Yes, but because it's Spain, and
therefore likely to be very sunny,

20
00:01:25,309 --> 00:01:27,707
we did want to be able to
take the roof off, so what

21
00:01:27,709 --> 00:01:31,987
we've done is we've organised three
budget convertibles for a nice drive

22
00:01:31,989 --> 00:01:34,349
from here in Britain to Madrid.

23
00:01:47,869 --> 00:01:51,747
I've gone for the second cheapest
car in the Ferrari range,

24
00:01:51,749 --> 00:01:54,307
which is not necessarily a bad thing.

25
00:01:54,309 --> 00:01:56,107
It's like choosing
wine in a restaurant.

26
00:01:56,109 --> 00:01:59,229
As we all know, the second cheapest
is always your best bet.

27
00:02:02,069 --> 00:02:06,547
It's the 458 and this is the new
Spider version, available

28
00:02:06,549 --> 00:02:10,549
now for a very reasonable £198,000.

29
00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:18,507
I've gone for the new McLaren
convertible,

30
00:02:18,509 --> 00:02:23,947
the 12C Spider, which amazingly
is even cheaper.

31
00:02:23,949 --> 00:02:27,989
This is just £195,000.

32
00:02:29,349 --> 00:02:33,627
For that sort of money,
I was expecting a sort of Scout hut

33
00:02:33,629 --> 00:02:37,027
with windscreen wipers,
but I've got sat nav,

34
00:02:37,029 --> 00:02:40,267
I've got air conditioning,
central locking, electric windows,

35
00:02:40,269 --> 00:02:43,829
power steering,
it's really not bad at all.

36
00:02:47,909 --> 00:02:52,069
But when it comes to value,
Iron Man had trumped both of us.

37
00:02:53,629 --> 00:02:54,867
Yes, yes, hello, viewers,

38
00:02:54,869 --> 00:02:57,467
and as you would expect,
I have done it properly.

39
00:02:57,469 --> 00:03:02,147
I've chosen the Audi R8
convertible, the V10 version,

40
00:03:02,149 --> 00:03:06,227
a mere sniff as £121,000.

41
00:03:06,229 --> 00:03:08,667
Although, to be honest,
from where I'm sitting,

42
00:03:08,669 --> 00:03:11,907
I really can't work out why it's
so much cheaper than the others.

43
00:03:11,909 --> 00:03:18,907
I mean, it has the biggest engine,
5.2 litre V10 from a Lamborghini...

44
00:03:18,909 --> 00:03:22,747
It has four-wheel drive, it has
the best standard equipment.

45
00:03:22,749 --> 00:03:26,029
It is the perfect car
for a cash-strapped economy.

46
00:03:29,469 --> 00:03:31,387
Our first port of call, however,

47
00:03:31,389 --> 00:03:34,269
didn't look very cash-strapped
at all.

48
00:03:37,749 --> 00:03:41,827
That's because it was Puerto Banus,
still thriving because

49
00:03:41,829 --> 00:03:45,949
every summer, people from Essex come
here to make themselves more orange.

50
00:03:47,669 --> 00:03:51,107
Their taste may be quiet
and restrained but it's keeping

51
00:03:51,109 --> 00:03:56,947
the local economy going and it also
gave James an idea for a test.

52
00:03:56,949 --> 00:04:00,507
Well, the whole point of a budget
supercar is that it should be

53
00:04:00,509 --> 00:04:02,827
understated, right?

54
00:04:02,829 --> 00:04:04,307
So here's what we do.

55
00:04:04,309 --> 00:04:08,427
You have to drive from here to
the other end of the harbour,

56
00:04:08,429 --> 00:04:14,187
one at a time, and the winner is the
one whose car is least photographed.

57
00:04:14,189 --> 00:04:19,507
James, I'm in a yellow metal
flake convertible McLaren. I know.

58
00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:22,989
Well, it's going to get photographed
all the time. Well, you chose it!

59
00:04:24,109 --> 00:04:27,547
After dusk, and with a camera fitted
to record flashes,

60
00:04:27,549 --> 00:04:31,829
James set off, confident his
grey Audi would be like a ghost.

61
00:04:33,669 --> 00:04:34,669
Hammond...

62
00:04:39,949 --> 00:04:41,827
"People of Puerto Banus..."

63
00:04:41,829 --> 00:04:44,627
"James May driving through
your town."

64
00:04:44,629 --> 00:04:46,747
"Now! Get your pictures."

65
00:04:46,749 --> 00:04:48,909
Tweet sent. Yes!

66
00:04:51,109 --> 00:04:54,229
Annoyingly, though, our plan didn't
work very well.

67
00:04:55,789 --> 00:04:59,547
See, it doesn't draw attention,
the car doesn't draw attention.

68
00:04:59,549 --> 00:05:02,109
No flashes whatsoever.

69
00:05:04,269 --> 00:05:08,909
There you go, a successful, largely
photograph-free run.

70
00:05:10,829 --> 00:05:15,827
'The Ferrari attracted quite a lot
more attention.'

71
00:05:15,829 --> 00:05:17,547
OK, that's...

72
00:05:17,549 --> 00:05:20,347
Yeah, I got hit there,
that was a lucky shot.

73
00:05:20,349 --> 00:05:22,507
'..even after I'd finished.'

74
00:05:22,509 --> 00:05:25,949
That does not count! Can I have
a picture of your car, mate?

75
00:05:27,749 --> 00:05:31,509
Then Jeremy set off in his metal
flake yellow McLaren.

76
00:05:36,429 --> 00:05:40,227
Oh, this is astonishing.

77
00:05:40,229 --> 00:05:44,067
A McLaren Formula One car would get
less attention than this.

78
00:05:44,069 --> 00:05:46,587
'Once I'd reached
the finish line...'

79
00:05:46,589 --> 00:05:49,307
No photographs! No photographs here!

80
00:05:49,309 --> 00:05:51,709
'..the producers handed
over the score.'

81
00:05:54,389 --> 00:05:55,907
I'm really tired. Read them out.

82
00:05:55,909 --> 00:05:58,467
Shall I read them out?
Just read them out.

83
00:05:58,469 --> 00:06:00,667
I'm just...
I just want to go to bed.

84
00:06:00,669 --> 00:06:02,507
OK, no need to do
it in reverse order, then.

85
00:06:02,509 --> 00:06:04,227
Do it in the order we went.

86
00:06:04,229 --> 00:06:06,787
OK. Audi, 22.

87
00:06:06,789 --> 00:06:08,427
22 people took your picture.

88
00:06:08,429 --> 00:06:11,067
Is that good or bad? Ferrari...

89
00:06:11,069 --> 00:06:13,749
47 people took your picture.

90
00:06:16,029 --> 00:06:17,349
How many flashes?

91
00:06:19,389 --> 00:06:22,147
Yes, you lost. Bloody hell.
You did lose.

92
00:06:22,149 --> 00:06:23,709
438!

93
00:06:25,589 --> 00:06:28,627
So, as a budget supercar,

94
00:06:28,629 --> 00:06:31,987
McLaren has not done well in terms
of understatement, has it?

95
00:06:31,989 --> 00:06:33,589
No. It's a bit conspicuous.

96
00:06:38,829 --> 00:06:41,347
The next day,
we left the affluent coast

97
00:06:41,349 --> 00:06:44,989
and headed north into what people
call the real Spain.

98
00:06:51,789 --> 00:06:54,267
So, Spain, six million unemployed

99
00:06:54,269 --> 00:06:57,427
and they have a smaller population
than we do.

100
00:06:57,429 --> 00:07:00,587
two million households have no
income at all.

101
00:07:00,589 --> 00:07:03,469
57% youth unemployment.

102
00:07:05,189 --> 00:07:08,027
'Right now, though, James was
dealing

103
00:07:08,029 --> 00:07:10,547
'with rather more serious issues.'

104
00:07:10,549 --> 00:07:12,227
The cabin is too blustery.

105
00:07:12,229 --> 00:07:15,907
I've got both the windows up
and I have the windshield thing

106
00:07:15,909 --> 00:07:18,787
at the back up, but my hair
still whips me in the eyeballs.

107
00:07:18,789 --> 00:07:21,707
I know some of you are going, "Why
don't you get your hair cut, then?"

108
00:07:21,709 --> 00:07:23,469
Lots of people have lots of hair.

109
00:07:30,189 --> 00:07:34,187
James has now cured the appalling
buffeting in the Audi

110
00:07:34,189 --> 00:07:36,469
with the simple addition
of a bandanna...

111
00:07:38,349 --> 00:07:40,309
..which makes him look very manly.

112
00:07:43,949 --> 00:07:48,627
'We decided to stop in the next
town for some coffee, and here

113
00:07:48,629 --> 00:07:53,989
'we saw just how badly hit Spain
has been by the financial crisis.'

114
00:08:01,829 --> 00:08:04,149
These are all brand-new flats.

115
00:08:05,789 --> 00:08:07,467
There's nobody here.

116
00:08:07,469 --> 00:08:09,589
I mean, nobody at all.

117
00:08:11,749 --> 00:08:16,427
It's got all of the infrastructure.
Street lights,

118
00:08:16,429 --> 00:08:19,589
pedestrian crossings,
but no people at all.

119
00:08:22,549 --> 00:08:24,069
Look at it.

120
00:08:26,109 --> 00:08:28,827
It's a scene from a horror film.

121
00:08:28,829 --> 00:08:30,747
I mean,
you hear about these ghost towns

122
00:08:30,749 --> 00:08:32,909
but you don't really think
they exist.

123
00:08:34,669 --> 00:08:36,707
'Still, on the up-side,

124
00:08:36,709 --> 00:08:40,707
'the echoey empty streets did
provide the perfect setting

125
00:08:40,709 --> 00:08:42,787
'for a noise test.

126
00:08:42,789 --> 00:08:45,987
'I parked at the far end of town

127
00:08:45,989 --> 00:08:49,827
'while Jeremy fired up his
decibel-o-meter.'

128
00:08:49,829 --> 00:08:52,587
When I say Jeremy has
a decibel-o-meter,

129
00:08:52,589 --> 00:08:54,429
it's the decibel-o-meter app.

130
00:08:56,269 --> 00:08:58,147
It's probably rubbish.

131
00:08:58,149 --> 00:08:59,667
Slightly worried about this,

132
00:08:59,669 --> 00:09:02,587
because he's got two more cylinders
than we have. Yes.

133
00:09:02,589 --> 00:09:04,427
He's got ten. So that's two more...

134
00:09:04,429 --> 00:09:06,587
And one more cylinder firing per...
Bank.

135
00:09:06,589 --> 00:09:08,427
Yes. So that's two more...

136
00:09:08,429 --> 00:09:11,067
He's got two banks of five,
we've got two banks of four.

137
00:09:11,069 --> 00:09:14,547
Yes, so he's got two more
explosions per...

138
00:09:14,549 --> 00:09:17,787
Per... Every time there's
firing, there'll be one more.

139
00:09:17,789 --> 00:09:20,667
Yes, but that's on each bank. Yes.

140
00:09:20,669 --> 00:09:23,387
Welcome to Top Gear,
the world's leading motoring show.

141
00:09:23,389 --> 00:09:24,709
Here we go.

142
00:09:35,229 --> 00:09:37,869
105. 105. Yes.

143
00:09:39,269 --> 00:09:42,587
'Next it was the McLaren's turn.'

144
00:09:42,589 --> 00:09:45,547
I'm ready. Oh, good.

145
00:09:45,549 --> 00:09:47,227
Begin.

146
00:09:47,229 --> 00:09:49,269
You see, start quietly.

147
00:09:51,229 --> 00:09:56,547
Hold it in second so
when we get near the decibel-o-meter

148
00:09:56,549 --> 00:09:58,869
I'm at the top of the rev range.
Here we go.

149
00:10:00,789 --> 00:10:04,469
Yes! Now, that was mighty.

150
00:10:07,909 --> 00:10:10,907
What's my score? 105.

151
00:10:10,909 --> 00:10:13,187
What? 105 again.

152
00:10:13,189 --> 00:10:14,907
What, the same as his? Yes.

153
00:10:14,909 --> 00:10:17,349
That's very much the same, yes.
Rubbish!

154
00:10:18,749 --> 00:10:22,669
'With Jeremy still complaining,
I lined up the Ferrari.'

155
00:10:24,949 --> 00:10:27,387
I bet he just floors it
from the start.

156
00:10:27,389 --> 00:10:29,467
Yes, he has. Daft as a brush.

157
00:10:29,469 --> 00:10:31,349
He's got to go as fast as possible.

158
00:10:34,949 --> 00:10:36,389
Stupidest man in the world.

159
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:45,509
107. Hmm.

160
00:10:46,709 --> 00:10:50,387
Hammond was, as ever,
gracious in victory.

161
00:10:50,389 --> 00:10:52,347
Ha-ha! Come on, it's still more,

162
00:10:52,349 --> 00:10:54,387
and those last few decibels
are harder to get.

163
00:10:54,389 --> 00:10:57,027
It's like the last few miles an hour
because of aerodynamics.

164
00:10:57,029 --> 00:10:59,907
So, wait, that must mean you lose.
It does. No, you got 105...

165
00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:03,227
No, it's budget supercars.

166
00:11:03,229 --> 00:11:06,107
Discretion. The quietist. Yeah.

167
00:11:06,109 --> 00:11:08,387
Really? We've just decided.

168
00:11:08,389 --> 00:11:11,787
So the rules have just changed
at the exact moment at which you lost

169
00:11:11,789 --> 00:11:13,187
and I won.

170
00:11:13,189 --> 00:11:14,989
We never discussed rules.

171
00:11:17,949 --> 00:11:22,307
'Back on the move, we headed for the
Sierra Nevada mountains on what is

172
00:11:22,309 --> 00:11:24,867
'not only the highest road in Europe

173
00:11:24,869 --> 00:11:27,269
'but also one of the most
spectacular.

174
00:11:33,149 --> 00:11:36,469
'This is perfect supercar country.'

175
00:11:42,589 --> 00:11:47,267
When the McLaren MP4 first came out
18 months ago, it was better than

176
00:11:47,269 --> 00:11:53,947
a Ferrari 458 in every measurable
way, but it lacked panache,

177
00:11:53,949 --> 00:11:56,067
it lacked zing, it lacked
excitement,

178
00:11:56,069 --> 00:11:58,789
it felt clinical and antiseptic.

179
00:12:00,189 --> 00:12:03,507
'Since then, though,
they've made lots of little changes,

180
00:12:03,509 --> 00:12:07,229
'so now there's more noise
and even more power.'

181
00:12:10,469 --> 00:12:14,229
But the big thing is - all that sky!

182
00:12:22,109 --> 00:12:27,309
This is what the McLaren was always
meant to be - open top.

183
00:12:29,469 --> 00:12:32,867
'By taking off the roof, they've
turned the McLaren from a car

184
00:12:32,869 --> 00:12:37,587
'you admire into a car you want.'

185
00:12:37,589 --> 00:12:39,309
Oh, you really, really want this.

186
00:12:57,909 --> 00:12:59,427
There's no denying it,

187
00:12:59,429 --> 00:13:02,787
the Ferrari is down on power
compared to the McLaren.

188
00:13:02,789 --> 00:13:06,827
Overall, it makes about 50 brake
horsepower but it is lighter,

189
00:13:06,829 --> 00:13:08,667
it's the lightest here.

190
00:13:08,669 --> 00:13:11,189
Nevertheless, I am not complaining.

191
00:13:12,589 --> 00:13:15,347
The point and squirt-ability of this
thing...

192
00:13:15,349 --> 00:13:17,949
OK, a bit of wrestling to get it
around the corner and then...

193
00:13:19,829 --> 00:13:22,789
Ya! What a soundtrack!

194
00:13:24,909 --> 00:13:27,749
'Meanwhile,
back in the cheap seats...'

195
00:13:36,029 --> 00:13:40,707
Right, serious stuff. This Audi is,
give or take a few quid,

196
00:13:40,709 --> 00:13:44,707
£70,000 cheaper than the other two.

197
00:13:44,709 --> 00:13:46,547
So, why?

198
00:13:46,549 --> 00:13:49,147
Well, it's got a slightly
lower top speed.

199
00:13:49,149 --> 00:13:51,307
It's slightly
slower at 60 miles an hour.

200
00:13:51,309 --> 00:13:52,507
It weighs quite a bit more,

201
00:13:52,509 --> 00:13:56,549
and with the best will in the world,
it does have a second-hand engine.

202
00:13:58,989 --> 00:14:02,787
But it does have four-wheel-drive.

203
00:14:02,789 --> 00:14:05,229
'And then there's the new gearbox.'

204
00:14:06,949 --> 00:14:10,147
It used to be the single clutch
flappy paddle type.

205
00:14:10,149 --> 00:14:12,147
It's now twin clutch, seven
speed,

206
00:14:12,149 --> 00:14:16,189
and it is absolutely
fantastic. Listen to this.

207
00:14:17,789 --> 00:14:19,989
A gear, a gear.

208
00:14:21,509 --> 00:14:23,869
Seriously, it is superb.

209
00:14:25,669 --> 00:14:29,867
'Intoxicated by our cut-price
supercars, we climbed higher

210
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:31,349
'and higher.'

211
00:14:33,629 --> 00:14:36,029
Come on, Hammond,
try and live with this.

212
00:14:40,149 --> 00:14:43,347
God, it announces its arrival!

213
00:14:43,349 --> 00:14:46,987
And the road got better and better.

214
00:14:46,989 --> 00:14:48,509
Snow!

215
00:14:49,589 --> 00:14:50,749
Look at that!

216
00:14:53,269 --> 00:14:56,907
This road is just staggering.

217
00:14:56,909 --> 00:14:59,747
How much did it cost?

218
00:14:59,749 --> 00:15:01,229
Oh.

219
00:15:02,709 --> 00:15:04,069
Oh.

220
00:15:07,229 --> 00:15:08,749
What, that's it?

221
00:15:12,109 --> 00:15:15,627
And stop.
What? Hang on a second!

222
00:15:15,629 --> 00:15:18,707
You know the road was really
quiet? Yes.

223
00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:20,747
Would you like to know why? Yes.

224
00:15:20,749 --> 00:15:23,867
It doesn't go anywhere.
That's the end.

225
00:15:23,869 --> 00:15:26,147
I can't wait to see the road that
leads to a city.

226
00:15:26,149 --> 00:15:30,069
It's going to be absolutely awesome.
It must be if it goes somewhere!

227
00:15:37,029 --> 00:15:40,987
How much money did that cost?
Yes, a lot.

228
00:15:40,989 --> 00:15:46,867
Anyway, what we learned on the road
to absolutely nowhere at all

229
00:15:46,869 --> 00:15:50,427
is just how fast that McLaren is.
Yes.

230
00:15:50,429 --> 00:15:53,147
I mean, it was fast
when it came out, but now...

231
00:15:53,149 --> 00:15:56,227
It's astonishing and when you're in
a Ferrari you do not expect to

232
00:15:56,229 --> 00:15:58,547
be left behind by anything.

233
00:15:58,549 --> 00:16:01,467
On the straights,
it just walks away.

234
00:16:01,469 --> 00:16:04,667
It was like you were in a Nissan
Micra and I was in a supercar.

235
00:16:04,669 --> 00:16:06,747
That's the straights,
the corners were worse

236
00:16:06,749 --> 00:16:09,667
because following the McLaren,
you watch it go round at a speed,

237
00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:12,627
and you think "I'll go around at
the same speed" and you can't.

238
00:16:12,629 --> 00:16:14,027
It's unbelievable.

239
00:16:14,029 --> 00:16:17,387
Can I just say, the McLaren is epic,
I agree with you,

240
00:16:17,389 --> 00:16:23,347
but in the two tests we conducted
so far, the victor is the Audi.

241
00:16:23,349 --> 00:16:26,307
Yes, it tied with
the McLaren for one of them.

242
00:16:26,309 --> 00:16:31,787
We also did an economy run. And the
Audi won that, as well. Yes, it did.

243
00:16:31,789 --> 00:16:35,267
So, anyway, later on, there will be
more cut-price supercar larks

244
00:16:35,269 --> 00:16:39,907
from Spain. In the meantime,
here is the news.

245
00:16:39,909 --> 00:16:43,707
No, I've got an announcement to
make first. Really?

246
00:16:43,709 --> 00:16:49,227
Yes, last week, in a bid to show
that Britain is not too crowded to

247
00:16:49,229 --> 00:16:55,867
have fun in a nice car, I took
a Ferrari to this road, and I said

248
00:16:55,869 --> 00:16:58,427
that even though this was
just 40 miles from London

249
00:16:58,429 --> 00:17:00,429
in Hertfordshire...

250
00:17:02,269 --> 00:17:03,707
..there was no traffic at all

251
00:17:03,709 --> 00:17:07,147
and you could still enjoy it
in the Ferrari that I was using.

252
00:17:07,149 --> 00:17:12,067
Well, we have been inundated with
complaints, and I do mean inundated.

253
00:17:12,069 --> 00:17:16,147
There have been a lot. A lot.
People were absolutely furious.

254
00:17:16,149 --> 00:17:20,907
"How dare the BBC say this is
Hertfordshire?! It plainly isn't."

255
00:17:20,909 --> 00:17:23,867
Well, you're right,
I admit it, and I apologise.

256
00:17:23,869 --> 00:17:27,269
That is not Hertfordshire.
It's Buckinghamshire, actually.

257
00:17:28,829 --> 00:17:31,187
Nevertheless, well spotted,
all of you, for seeing that.

258
00:17:31,189 --> 00:17:32,667
You were on the ball, there.

259
00:17:32,669 --> 00:17:36,147
Hey, now, we've got some important
consumer news for everybody.

260
00:17:36,149 --> 00:17:39,147
When you go to a car showroom now,
the salesman will try to sell you

261
00:17:39,149 --> 00:17:42,027
lots of electronic bits
and bobs for your car.

262
00:17:42,029 --> 00:17:45,627
Here's our Top Gear top tip -
don't bother with any of them

263
00:17:45,629 --> 00:17:47,627
because they don't work,
any of them.

264
00:17:47,629 --> 00:17:50,467
Bluetooth. Bluetooth never works.
It doesn't.

265
00:17:50,469 --> 00:17:54,147
Hammond uses it and it's like he's
sitting at the bottom of a river.

266
00:17:54,149 --> 00:17:56,587
Well, to be fair, sometimes I am.

267
00:17:56,589 --> 00:18:00,067
Shall I tell you the thing that
doesn't work the most of all?

268
00:18:00,069 --> 00:18:02,547
Voice activation.
That's just a shouting match.

269
00:18:02,549 --> 00:18:05,347
You're driving along, don't have to
take your hands off the wheel.

270
00:18:05,349 --> 00:18:08,027
You go, "Call Richard Hammond."
"Collapsing suspension".

271
00:18:08,029 --> 00:18:10,467
It does!

272
00:18:10,469 --> 00:18:11,747
Oh, it's misunderstood me.

273
00:18:11,749 --> 00:18:14,827
"Call Richard Hammond."

274
00:18:14,829 --> 00:18:16,547
"Deflating tyres."

275
00:18:16,549 --> 00:18:18,787
That's it!

276
00:18:18,789 --> 00:18:20,827
"Reinflate tyres!"

277
00:18:20,829 --> 00:18:23,509
"Reinflate tyres!"
"Calling Richard Hammond."

278
00:18:24,989 --> 00:18:28,867
The problem is that, in the olden
days, when it first came out,

279
00:18:28,869 --> 00:18:31,867
voice activation was just for the
radio or the satellite navigation.

280
00:18:31,869 --> 00:18:34,307
Now it's for every single
feature on the car

281
00:18:34,309 --> 00:18:37,107
and in your life, and it has to
understand every accent

282
00:18:37,109 --> 00:18:38,627
in all of Britain.

283
00:18:38,629 --> 00:18:40,347
"Och aye the noo."

284
00:18:40,349 --> 00:18:41,909
"All right, pet?"

285
00:18:43,349 --> 00:18:46,907
It just can't cope. So, you're
driving along, you go, "Radio Two."

286
00:18:46,909 --> 00:18:49,627
"Accessing bank account."

287
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:51,147
Oh, no!

288
00:18:51,149 --> 00:18:52,867
"Transferring funds."

289
00:18:52,869 --> 00:18:54,907
God, no, don't!

290
00:18:54,909 --> 00:18:58,107
While we're having a moan,
I don't like electric boot closing.

291
00:18:58,109 --> 00:19:02,187
With you on that. What was
the matter with slamming the boot?

292
00:19:02,189 --> 00:19:04,107
So instead of doing that,
it's just...

293
00:19:04,109 --> 00:19:05,627
The idea is that you press the button

294
00:19:05,629 --> 00:19:10,347
and the boot sets off and you can
get in your car, but it's so slow!

295
00:19:10,349 --> 00:19:13,587
By the time you've got in your car,
your dog had seen its opportunity

296
00:19:13,589 --> 00:19:16,267
and made a break for freedom,
he's in the traffic.

297
00:19:16,269 --> 00:19:20,067
Or worse, it detects your
shopping in the boot

298
00:19:20,069 --> 00:19:22,069
and it thinks,
"That could be a child."

299
00:19:23,989 --> 00:19:27,907
Oh, look, it's a packet of dog
biscuits, it's not a baby.

300
00:19:27,909 --> 00:19:30,507
"Firing airbag in three..."

301
00:19:30,509 --> 00:19:32,107
Don't fire the airbag!

302
00:19:32,109 --> 00:19:33,827
Too much responsibility.

303
00:19:33,829 --> 00:19:37,347
Modern cars are deeply irritating
because of the electronics.

304
00:19:37,349 --> 00:19:38,427
Can I move it on now?

305
00:19:38,429 --> 00:19:41,907
Now, last week
I asked if you would send in

306
00:19:41,909 --> 00:19:45,627
photographs of Jeremy
on his new bicycle.

307
00:19:45,629 --> 00:19:49,187
Because... Well, I didn't expect to
get anything because, frankly,

308
00:19:49,189 --> 00:19:52,747
I didn't believe he'd bought
a bike. I have! Well... I have!

309
00:19:52,749 --> 00:19:54,347
Do you know, I now believe you.

310
00:19:54,349 --> 00:19:56,787
I know you have, because somebody
HAS sent in a picture.

311
00:19:56,789 --> 00:19:59,149
And here he is -
Jeremy on his bicycle.

312
00:20:06,709 --> 00:20:09,467
It's, er... It's working.

313
00:20:09,469 --> 00:20:12,067
You are losing weight.
You're trimming down.

314
00:20:12,069 --> 00:20:15,307
That's not my bike.
I haven't got stabilisers.

315
00:20:15,309 --> 00:20:17,827
Otherwise, it's pretty accurate.

316
00:20:17,829 --> 00:20:19,347
I've got some serious news.

317
00:20:19,349 --> 00:20:22,627
A lot of cars these days have got
a sport button on them, OK?

318
00:20:22,629 --> 00:20:26,267
The idea is you push it
and it makes everything more taut
and more racy, OK?

319
00:20:26,269 --> 00:20:30,067
But I've long harboured
a suspicion that it doesn't
actually make the car go any faster.

320
00:20:30,069 --> 00:20:31,147
So last week we did a test.

321
00:20:31,149 --> 00:20:34,187
They've got a new Golf GTI
down here, which incidentally,

322
00:20:34,189 --> 00:20:38,227
is a brilliant, brilliant car.
Extremely good. It's properly good.

323
00:20:38,229 --> 00:20:40,787
Anyway, we got The Stig,
put him in normal mode,

324
00:20:40,789 --> 00:20:44,787
sent him around the track
and he did a 129.6, OK?

325
00:20:44,789 --> 00:20:48,547
We then put it in sport
which beefed up the suspension

326
00:20:48,549 --> 00:20:51,427
and the front differential
and it made the steering heavier

327
00:20:51,429 --> 00:20:55,547
and it quickened the throttle, OK?
In sport, 129.6.

328
00:20:55,549 --> 00:20:58,027
What, exactly the same?
Exactly the same.

329
00:20:58,029 --> 00:21:01,427
We then put it in comfort mode,
makes everything soft and gooey.

330
00:21:01,429 --> 00:21:04,867
129.5. Fast!

331
00:21:04,869 --> 00:21:05,987
Faster.

332
00:21:05,989 --> 00:21:10,227
That is confirmation
that the sport button just makes
a car more uncomfortable.

333
00:21:10,229 --> 00:21:11,707
Yeah, it shouldn't say "sport",

334
00:21:11,709 --> 00:21:13,427
it should just say, "worse".

335
00:21:13,429 --> 00:21:15,107
Now, there's a new supercar.

336
00:21:15,109 --> 00:21:19,667
It is called the... Icona Vulcano.
Here it is.

337
00:21:19,669 --> 00:21:23,947
Jeremy, did you do
that publicity photograph?

338
00:21:23,949 --> 00:21:25,667
That's what
I call a publicity shot.

339
00:21:25,669 --> 00:21:28,947
I love that very much.
Not sure about the car, though.

340
00:21:28,949 --> 00:21:33,107
They say it has a V12 hybrid,
but they won't tell us

341
00:21:33,109 --> 00:21:36,267
where the V12's from or
how the hybrid system works.

342
00:21:36,269 --> 00:21:39,907
All they will say
is it develops 950 horsepower

343
00:21:39,909 --> 00:21:42,067
and will go 217 miles an hour.

344
00:21:42,069 --> 00:21:44,387
Does it? Mmm, mmm.

345
00:21:44,389 --> 00:21:48,707
The reason I brought this car up
is their chief design director,

346
00:21:48,709 --> 00:21:52,467
his name is Samuel Chuffart.

347
00:21:52,469 --> 00:21:55,107
Give over.

348
00:21:55,109 --> 00:21:56,867
It's not.

349
00:21:56,869 --> 00:22:02,067
His name is not Chuffart.
It's not! Chuffart. Lovely.

350
00:22:02,069 --> 00:22:05,229
There's a man with fond
memories of his school days!

351
00:22:06,549 --> 00:22:10,427
Every register, "Oh, no, it's got to
Christian, I'm next." "Chuffart".

352
00:22:10,429 --> 00:22:13,347
"A-ha-ha-ha." I bet the
novelty never wore off for him.

353
00:22:13,349 --> 00:22:15,867
Apparently,
he worked at Jaguar for a while.

354
00:22:15,869 --> 00:22:18,549
I'm not sure what happened there.
They probably had to let him go.

355
00:22:21,709 --> 00:22:24,267
So now he's ended up in Italy,
because that is an Italian firm.

356
00:22:24,269 --> 00:22:26,067
They're actually making
the car in China.

357
00:22:26,069 --> 00:22:29,067
Can you imagine what
the wiring's going to be like?

358
00:22:29,069 --> 00:22:33,067
Chuffart in Italian probably means
"hat penis" anyway, or something.

359
00:22:33,069 --> 00:22:36,067
We actually asked our researchers
to call up this company and say,

360
00:22:36,069 --> 00:22:38,347
"Can you tell us more about
the car?" And not one of them

361
00:22:38,349 --> 00:22:41,227
could get through the beginning bit
of the call without bursting...

362
00:22:41,229 --> 00:22:43,707
The receptionist on the other end
must be used to the phone

363
00:22:43,709 --> 00:22:46,787
ringing and there's
someone laughing,
"Yeah, I'll put you through."

364
00:22:46,789 --> 00:22:48,147
"Hello, Chuffart."

365
00:22:48,149 --> 00:22:54,789
He probably just answers the phone
with the words, "Yes, that is
my name. Let's clear the air now."

366
00:22:56,069 --> 00:22:58,347
That's how that picture came about.

367
00:22:58,349 --> 00:23:01,189
Someone lit a match just after
Chuff farted!

368
00:23:03,829 --> 00:23:07,827
Moving on. Because this week we are
testing the McLaren 12C Spider,

369
00:23:07,829 --> 00:23:11,987
the Ferrari 458 Spider
and the Audi R8 V10.

370
00:23:11,989 --> 00:23:15,987
Let me guess, is it Spider?
Do you know, it is. It is a Spider.

371
00:23:15,989 --> 00:23:19,427
We have chosen budget supercars
because we are in Spain,

372
00:23:19,429 --> 00:23:21,867
where the economic problems
are terrible.

373
00:23:21,869 --> 00:23:24,067
Yeah,
so far we've been to a ghost town.

374
00:23:24,069 --> 00:23:26,347
It had a hospital,
it had a school, had restaurants,

375
00:23:26,349 --> 00:23:29,427
had thousands of houses and flats,
but no people at all.

376
00:23:29,429 --> 00:23:32,347
We've been on a road that
went nowhere.

377
00:23:32,349 --> 00:23:34,427
It was like filming in
a ghost country, actually.

378
00:23:34,429 --> 00:23:38,549
Anyway, we pick up the story
after a night in a hotel in Granada.

379
00:24:01,549 --> 00:24:03,467
We headed north
the following morning,

380
00:24:03,469 --> 00:24:07,429
worried that we'd hit the rush-hour
traffic. However...

381
00:24:10,389 --> 00:24:14,787
So there's only three cars on this
motorway and we're in all of them.

382
00:24:14,789 --> 00:24:17,987
Look at that.
Our own personal motorway.

383
00:24:17,989 --> 00:24:19,989
I've always wanted a motorway.

384
00:24:21,149 --> 00:24:22,627
Since no-one was around,

385
00:24:22,629 --> 00:24:25,069
we thought we would see
how fast our cars would go.

386
00:24:26,949 --> 00:24:28,829
We just need to find a straight bit.

387
00:24:30,869 --> 00:24:32,429
Now, this is quite straight.

388
00:24:34,829 --> 00:24:39,347
At 200 miles an hour, this slight
corner becomes a hairpin bend.

389
00:24:39,349 --> 00:24:40,469
We need arrow straight.

390
00:24:42,509 --> 00:24:47,149
'When we did eventually find a long
enough straight, it had goats on it.

391
00:24:48,429 --> 00:24:53,269
'So we were about to give up
on our top speed run, but then...'

392
00:24:54,349 --> 00:24:55,349
Ooh, an airport.

393
00:24:56,989 --> 00:25:01,547
Chaps, is that an airport? I just
thought... Yes, aeropuerto, it is.

394
00:25:01,549 --> 00:25:03,907
Well, if the runway's as busy
as the roads,

395
00:25:03,909 --> 00:25:06,989
we might be able to
use the runway for our speed test.

396
00:25:13,189 --> 00:25:16,427
God, there's some parking available!

397
00:25:16,429 --> 00:25:18,509
All of it in fact.

398
00:25:21,789 --> 00:25:24,069
Er... Where is everyone?

399
00:25:29,069 --> 00:25:33,349
'We went inside to
look for someone in charge.'

400
00:25:34,509 --> 00:25:36,189
Hello?

401
00:25:38,229 --> 00:25:39,309
Hello?

402
00:25:40,269 --> 00:25:43,189
'But the whole place
was completely deserted.'

403
00:25:46,429 --> 00:25:50,067
The computers are all on, look!
I can make a baggage check.

404
00:25:50,069 --> 00:25:53,509
I can log on!
I've got one of those things that
goes... I can check you in!

405
00:25:57,709 --> 00:25:58,707
Ha-ha-ha-ha!

406
00:25:58,709 --> 00:26:01,987
The wheel's coming off.
My wheel's come off!

407
00:26:01,989 --> 00:26:04,707
Hello. I'll be Lufthansa.
I am sorry, the gate is closed.

408
00:26:04,709 --> 00:26:08,147
Well, can you just open it? Nein.

409
00:26:08,149 --> 00:26:11,949
I haven't got a passport,
I've just got a selection of weapons
and some concealed drugs.

410
00:26:15,069 --> 00:26:17,829
Eventually, though,
we found what we came for.

411
00:26:18,989 --> 00:26:21,189
That is a runway over there,
I believe. Yes.

412
00:26:23,909 --> 00:26:27,667
'But since there was no-one around
to ask for permission to use it,

413
00:26:27,669 --> 00:26:29,987
'we had to improvise.'

414
00:26:29,989 --> 00:26:33,267
Would it be possible for us
to drive on the runway here?

415
00:26:33,269 --> 00:26:37,347
Is there any flight traffic today?
No, it's very quiet today.

416
00:26:37,349 --> 00:26:39,229
I imagine it'll be fine.

417
00:26:44,509 --> 00:26:47,669
With permission granted,
we headed out to the runway.

418
00:26:49,149 --> 00:26:52,029
It's all right, I've got it.
I've got it. It's OK.

419
00:26:53,229 --> 00:26:55,389
I can't do manual labour,
you know that.

420
00:26:59,709 --> 00:27:00,709
Look at that!

421
00:27:02,669 --> 00:27:03,669
It's ours!

422
00:27:14,869 --> 00:27:19,067
The runway was
a whopping 2.5 miles long.

423
00:27:19,069 --> 00:27:21,469
More than enough to max our cars.

424
00:27:24,109 --> 00:27:26,427
Hammond elected to go first.

425
00:27:26,429 --> 00:27:29,427
I'm always nervous
when he drives in a straight line.

426
00:27:29,429 --> 00:27:32,267
"Richard Hammond, can you drive
in a straight line down a runway?

427
00:27:32,269 --> 00:27:34,189
"Yes, what can possibly go
wrong with that?"

428
00:27:35,349 --> 00:27:38,987
Hit the launch control button
with it, in race and manual.

429
00:27:38,989 --> 00:27:42,067
Give it max revs, my right foot.
ENGINE REVS

430
00:27:42,069 --> 00:27:43,949
Left foot off.
Right, we're away!

431
00:27:45,149 --> 00:27:47,827
It does the first gear
change for me, now it's up to me,

432
00:27:47,829 --> 00:27:49,947
and already we're doing 85, 90...

433
00:27:49,949 --> 00:27:54,227
100 miles an hour, that quickly.

434
00:27:54,229 --> 00:27:55,589
Damn, this thing is fast!

435
00:27:58,989 --> 00:28:01,427
Oh, look at the dust cloud.

436
00:28:01,429 --> 00:28:04,627
138, 141.

437
00:28:04,629 --> 00:28:08,187
I can hear the grit
hitting the underside of the car.
There's a lot of it.

438
00:28:08,189 --> 00:28:12,707
Seventh gear has just been hit.
175 miles an hour.

439
00:28:12,709 --> 00:28:13,787
Still accelerating hard.

440
00:28:13,789 --> 00:28:18,427
I can see the line, 186...87, 88.

441
00:28:18,429 --> 00:28:20,227
Come on, Ferrari, accelerate!

442
00:28:20,229 --> 00:28:25,229
Now that is a Ferrari at full chat.
90. 91.

443
00:28:26,509 --> 00:28:27,509
92.

444
00:28:28,549 --> 00:28:31,347
92, 93.

445
00:28:31,349 --> 00:28:34,469
193 miles an hour.
Top speed achieved.

446
00:28:36,429 --> 00:28:38,107
Next up, it was James,

447
00:28:38,109 --> 00:28:42,587
who decided to use absolutely
all of the available space.

448
00:28:42,589 --> 00:28:47,067
Right, here we go. Sport,
sport suspension, air con is off.

449
00:28:47,069 --> 00:28:50,069
Manual one. Here we go at the max.

450
00:28:53,869 --> 00:28:56,867
Right, here he comes now.
Captain Slow is his name.

451
00:28:56,869 --> 00:28:58,629
Or the Italians call him
"Mr Slowly".

452
00:29:01,749 --> 00:29:03,747
That's 80.

453
00:29:03,749 --> 00:29:06,347
I know at some point in that car,
when he's doing his run,

454
00:29:06,349 --> 00:29:08,147
he is saying, "buffeting".

455
00:29:08,149 --> 00:29:09,949
Buffeting.

456
00:29:11,629 --> 00:29:15,067
He's moving along
in the right direction.

457
00:29:15,069 --> 00:29:17,947
It's weird to think James May
in that, doing that speed.

458
00:29:17,949 --> 00:29:19,589
A spaniel in control of that.

459
00:29:21,349 --> 00:29:24,309
Indicated 175, 177. Come on!

460
00:29:28,069 --> 00:29:30,989
That said 186.

461
00:29:32,149 --> 00:29:35,347
Knowing that modern-day
speedos are frighteningly accurate,

462
00:29:35,349 --> 00:29:40,467
I knew what speed I had to beat -
Hammond's, 193.

463
00:29:40,469 --> 00:29:47,029
OK, launch control. First gear.
Press launch. Launch active.

464
00:29:48,589 --> 00:29:50,907
Three, two, one. Go!

465
00:29:50,909 --> 00:29:53,389
Oh, wow, that's quick!

466
00:29:55,549 --> 00:29:57,669
80 miles an hour already.

467
00:29:59,109 --> 00:30:02,389
Here he comes.
He's moving at tremendous speed.

468
00:30:05,189 --> 00:30:09,187
140. I'm taking manual control now

469
00:30:09,189 --> 00:30:10,467
to lock in in six.

470
00:30:10,469 --> 00:30:13,267
I don't want to go into seventh

471
00:30:13,269 --> 00:30:16,427
because that will slow it down.

472
00:30:16,429 --> 00:30:19,227
Come on! 191, 193.

473
00:30:19,229 --> 00:30:24,627
194, 195, 196, 197.

474
00:30:24,629 --> 00:30:26,147
197 again.

475
00:30:26,149 --> 00:30:30,349
Well, I'm through
and I've indicated...198.

476
00:30:31,949 --> 00:30:34,069
Victory, therefore, is mine.

477
00:30:35,389 --> 00:30:37,707
'Annoyingly,
though, we weren't finished,

478
00:30:37,709 --> 00:30:40,309
'because James had come up
with an idea.'

479
00:30:41,189 --> 00:30:43,707
It's a drag race,
but because of the weather,

480
00:30:43,709 --> 00:30:46,547
especially what it's doing today,
you have to start

481
00:30:46,549 --> 00:30:50,987
with your roof down and you have to
finish with your roof up.

482
00:30:50,989 --> 00:30:55,067
And that's not quite as simple
as it sounds. Well, no, it isn't.

483
00:30:55,069 --> 00:31:00,147
Because I can operate this roof
while I'm driving. So can I.

484
00:31:00,149 --> 00:31:04,307
He can't. You can't. No, Ferrari,
you have to... You have to stop.

485
00:31:04,309 --> 00:31:07,387
Which means... Hang on! No,
actually this is quite interesting.

486
00:31:07,389 --> 00:31:11,707
I can do 19 miles an hour
and put the roof up.

487
00:31:11,709 --> 00:31:14,107
How fast can you go? 31.

488
00:31:14,109 --> 00:31:17,747
You're joking?
But officially, your roof, I think,
goes up in 14 seconds.

489
00:31:17,749 --> 00:31:20,987
Mine is about 19.
This is very complicated.

490
00:31:20,989 --> 00:31:22,589
So, the flag drops. Yes.

491
00:31:23,629 --> 00:31:26,267
I set off,
but I can only go 19 miles an hour,

492
00:31:26,269 --> 00:31:28,667
while the roof is coming up.
Then I can go. Yup.

493
00:31:28,669 --> 00:31:32,867
You can go to 31 miles an hour...
But I have to stay there for longer.

494
00:31:32,869 --> 00:31:37,387
Because your roof takes
longer to go up. You can't set off
at all until your roof is up.

495
00:31:37,389 --> 00:31:41,109
But then... Go like hell.
Yeah, you launch control
and go like hell. Yeah.

496
00:31:43,029 --> 00:31:45,307
Having settled on a half-mile
distance,

497
00:31:45,309 --> 00:31:48,869
we lined up, and our Spanish starter
began the countdown.

498
00:31:50,189 --> 00:31:52,189
Tres, dos, uno...

499
00:31:55,509 --> 00:31:57,827
We begin, we begin, we begin.
I daren't put it in launch.

500
00:31:57,829 --> 00:32:00,867
They're moving away,
I'm not going anywhere!

501
00:32:00,869 --> 00:32:02,987
Less than 19.

502
00:32:02,989 --> 00:32:06,867
18 miles an hour. 19. 18.

503
00:32:06,869 --> 00:32:08,189
Come on, hurry up!

504
00:32:09,389 --> 00:32:11,949
Oh, I have exceeded
the roof speed. Argh!

505
00:32:13,869 --> 00:32:15,467
Bang!

506
00:32:15,469 --> 00:32:19,027
Oh, God. Struggling for grip.
Windows are going up now.

507
00:32:19,029 --> 00:32:21,829
Roof latched! I am away!

508
00:32:24,469 --> 00:32:29,269
I've passed James. Ha-ha!
Ha-ha! Oh BLEEP!

509
00:32:33,109 --> 00:32:34,109
I did that wrong.

510
00:32:37,229 --> 00:32:39,469
We lined up for a second attempt.

511
00:32:41,949 --> 00:32:45,787
Right, glasses on so I can read
when the roof is latched.

512
00:32:45,789 --> 00:32:49,189
Right, keep your finger on the
button and concentrate on the speed.

513
00:32:56,629 --> 00:33:01,147
Here we go. Keep it below 19 miles
an hour, Jeremy. 18, 19.

514
00:33:01,149 --> 00:33:04,187
I wait until the roof is up and just
before the back hatch goes down,

515
00:33:04,189 --> 00:33:06,987
I'm going to hit the launch control
button. There.

516
00:33:06,989 --> 00:33:08,507
Oh, come on!

517
00:33:08,509 --> 00:33:11,027
This feels astonishingly slow.

518
00:33:11,029 --> 00:33:13,787
19, oh, 20.
Roof operation in progress.

519
00:33:13,789 --> 00:33:15,549
That's down. I can go now.

520
00:33:20,949 --> 00:33:21,949
Roof closed!

521
00:33:26,029 --> 00:33:30,747
I'm changing gear with my left hand.
How multi-tasking was that?

522
00:33:30,749 --> 00:33:34,507
I am passing James May.
They're getting closer to the line.

523
00:33:34,509 --> 00:33:36,067
I think Jeremy is going to cross now.

524
00:33:36,069 --> 00:33:40,587
But I'm getting closer to the Audi
by the second. Hammond's coming!

525
00:33:40,589 --> 00:33:43,267
I'm going to get him,
I'm going to get him!

526
00:33:43,269 --> 00:33:45,987
Second. Oh-ho-ho!

527
00:33:45,989 --> 00:33:47,829
Victory has been mine.

528
00:33:52,789 --> 00:33:56,027
Weirdly, though,
James had a different view.

529
00:33:56,029 --> 00:33:58,667
The Audi's basically won
all of that.

530
00:33:58,669 --> 00:34:02,787
I'm sorry James, I think
you'll find the McLaren
got there miles before you.

531
00:34:02,789 --> 00:34:08,507
Highest top speed, McLaren.
So the McLaren has won both things.

532
00:34:08,509 --> 00:34:11,787
However, could I draw your attention
to a few things?

533
00:34:11,789 --> 00:34:15,707
A completely ruined back wheel,
same on the other side.

534
00:34:15,709 --> 00:34:17,147
I don't need to remind you of that.

535
00:34:17,149 --> 00:34:21,147
Up here we find a very badly chipped
windscreen. Hammond did that.

536
00:34:21,149 --> 00:34:23,507
It doesn't matter who did it,
it's very badly chipped.

537
00:34:23,509 --> 00:34:28,907
YOU also have a very badly chipped
windscreen. Where is it? Over there.

538
00:34:28,909 --> 00:34:30,547
You have ruined wheels.

539
00:34:30,549 --> 00:34:33,267
If you look down here, our cameraman
wants to come and see this.

540
00:34:33,269 --> 00:34:37,229
This bit of the bodywork
has actually been eaten away.

541
00:34:38,789 --> 00:34:41,787
'And that wasn't the only problem
caused by the dust

542
00:34:41,789 --> 00:34:43,629
'and grit on the unused runway.'

543
00:34:45,789 --> 00:34:47,627
Oh, look underneath!

544
00:34:47,629 --> 00:34:49,707
Oh, God!

545
00:34:49,709 --> 00:34:53,747
The Audi, meanwhile,
was totally unmarked.

546
00:34:53,749 --> 00:34:56,827
Why do the Germans put paint on
in such a way that it doesn't

547
00:34:56,829 --> 00:34:58,027
then come off?

548
00:34:58,029 --> 00:35:01,829
Because they are Germans and it is
impossible to paint a car badly.

549
00:35:03,629 --> 00:35:06,707
Conceding James' point,
we got back on the road

550
00:35:06,709 --> 00:35:10,629
and with evening approaching, it was
time to look for somewhere to stay.

551
00:35:12,949 --> 00:35:20,909
Chaps? Yes. I've had yet another
brilliant idea. Have you? What?

552
00:35:22,269 --> 00:35:24,387
Well,
instead of looking for a hotel,

553
00:35:24,389 --> 00:35:28,269
why don't we just go into the next
town and help ourselves to a house?

554
00:35:30,789 --> 00:35:32,267
OK.

555
00:35:32,269 --> 00:35:34,669
It's not a bad idea.

556
00:35:36,429 --> 00:35:38,787
In the next town,
we started househunting,

557
00:35:38,789 --> 00:35:44,109
and frankly we were spoilt for
choice. I would quite like a view.

558
00:35:45,149 --> 00:35:48,469
Well, that one's garden's all
overgrown. I don't fancy that.

559
00:35:49,549 --> 00:35:51,069
I don't want one with a dog.

560
00:35:52,869 --> 00:35:57,987
How about 53? Do you like 53? Or 55?

561
00:35:57,989 --> 00:36:00,509
As a number, I prefer 55.

562
00:36:02,749 --> 00:36:07,427
'With that settled, we moved in.'
Oh, it's nice!

563
00:36:07,429 --> 00:36:09,069
Oh, no. Junk mail.

564
00:36:11,269 --> 00:36:14,427
Is this a bedroom?
I'm going to have this.

565
00:36:14,429 --> 00:36:17,467
Hasn't actually got a bed in it,
but that'll be all right.

566
00:36:17,469 --> 00:36:23,587
Wow, look at this! I've got a bath,
bidet, bog. Hammond?

567
00:36:23,589 --> 00:36:27,827
Yes? We've found your room. Let
me guess, is it small? It's low.

568
00:36:27,829 --> 00:36:31,667
It's not. Oh, it's an en suite.
Look at that!

569
00:36:31,669 --> 00:36:33,589
I'm happy with that.

570
00:36:35,589 --> 00:36:38,427
'Having brightened the place up
with some decorations,

571
00:36:38,429 --> 00:36:42,587
'Jeremy cooked us a paella
while we discussed our cars.'

572
00:36:42,589 --> 00:36:45,467
If we have to identify the best
budget supercar, it's the Audi,

573
00:36:45,469 --> 00:36:46,867
there's no question about it.

574
00:36:46,869 --> 00:36:51,547
If you have to identify the best
car, it's the Ferrari. No, no, no.

575
00:36:51,549 --> 00:36:55,387
It isn't. Yes, it is. Well, it
isn't. The McLaren is a better car.

576
00:36:55,389 --> 00:36:59,587
It's not a better supercar. You
didn't say supercar. You said car.

577
00:36:59,589 --> 00:37:01,267
OK, best supercar.

578
00:37:01,269 --> 00:37:04,307
Well, now you see that
the best supercar is the Ferrari.

579
00:37:04,309 --> 00:37:07,787
The best car is the McLaren.
Yeah, but if I'm buying a supercar,
I'm buying...

580
00:37:07,789 --> 00:37:11,507
..and the winner of this test,
so far... is the Audi.

581
00:37:11,509 --> 00:37:12,587
..is the Audi.

582
00:37:12,589 --> 00:37:16,987
I'd go with that entirely. Yes.
Not very useful for the viewers.

583
00:37:16,989 --> 00:37:21,787
'With dinner served, we carried
on trying to reach a verdict.

584
00:37:21,789 --> 00:37:22,949
'But it was hopeless.'

585
00:37:24,109 --> 00:37:27,907
Yes, it is, but the Ferrari, they've
injected some magic into...

586
00:37:27,909 --> 00:37:30,947
With the roof off, it is properly
good. No way!

587
00:37:30,949 --> 00:37:32,829
£70,000 will buy a cook.

588
00:37:34,469 --> 00:37:39,509
Would it interfere with this debate
if I was suddenly and violently sick?

589
00:37:44,989 --> 00:37:49,747
He's waiting for a photo
to download on his computer.

590
00:37:49,749 --> 00:37:53,587
He's sitting there going,
"Buffering. Buffering."

591
00:37:53,589 --> 00:37:57,947
Now, look, we want to make it
absolutely clear,
that airport is not a film set.

592
00:37:57,949 --> 00:38:00,907
It opened five years ago,
then it went bust,

593
00:38:00,909 --> 00:38:03,227
then it closed down last year. Yeah.

594
00:38:03,229 --> 00:38:05,347
It's amazing, though,
if you think about it.

595
00:38:05,349 --> 00:38:08,307
We all have unused things
lying around -
I've got a bread maker and a wok -

596
00:38:08,309 --> 00:38:11,787
I haven't got an international
airport. No.

597
00:38:11,789 --> 00:38:15,067
About that, did you see what
that runway did to my Ferrari?

598
00:38:15,069 --> 00:38:17,627
Mmm, and you should see
what happens to it later on.

599
00:38:17,629 --> 00:38:19,227
Shouldn't we, Richard Hammond?

600
00:38:19,229 --> 00:38:21,867
I don't think you really want to
hang on and watch that.

601
00:38:21,869 --> 00:38:23,707
Maybe turn over to Countryfile, now.

602
00:38:23,709 --> 00:38:28,267
James... James, would you stay with
Top Gear, or switch over to see
Adam's farm. Let me have a think.

603
00:38:28,269 --> 00:38:30,867
Yes, I'd stay with Top Gear.
I'd stay with Top Gear.

604
00:38:30,869 --> 00:38:33,227
Anyway, that's then, this is now,

605
00:38:33,229 --> 00:38:36,747
and we must put a star
in our Reasonably Priced Car.

606
00:38:36,749 --> 00:38:40,827
Now, my guest, my guest tonight
is best known for dying

607
00:38:40,829 --> 00:38:47,587
and then coming back to life.
But it is not the baby Jesus.
LAUGHTER

608
00:38:47,589 --> 00:38:50,147
It is the man who played
Sherlock Holmes on the television.

609
00:38:50,149 --> 00:38:53,309
Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome Benedict Cumberbatch.

610
00:39:04,149 --> 00:39:06,147
Have a seat.
Wow. Wow, wow, wow.

611
00:39:06,149 --> 00:39:08,147
Wow. Thank you very much.

612
00:39:08,149 --> 00:39:12,187
Now, that was a welcome.

613
00:39:12,189 --> 00:39:16,827
That was a welcome from a lot
of people who want to know

614
00:39:16,829 --> 00:39:18,747
how you're not dead?

615
00:39:18,749 --> 00:39:22,227
Well, when I jump off, there's
a helicopter with Mycroft

616
00:39:22,229 --> 00:39:24,907
in it dressed as a woman
and an inflatable skirt.

617
00:39:24,909 --> 00:39:28,187
And then he takes a pill,
which basically
means that the helicopter...

618
00:39:28,189 --> 00:39:30,107
I'm not going to tell anyone.
I can't.

619
00:39:30,109 --> 00:39:32,307
Oh, no, I was really enjoying that!

620
00:39:32,309 --> 00:39:35,187
Cos it was obviously
one of the most written-about

621
00:39:35,189 --> 00:39:38,547
and talked-about events in modern
television history.

622
00:39:38,549 --> 00:39:40,307
I wasn't here.

623
00:39:40,309 --> 00:39:41,547
I sort of missed it.

624
00:39:41,549 --> 00:39:43,987
The furore at home, anyway.
I was abroad.

625
00:39:43,989 --> 00:39:45,827
I heard that it went on for weeks.

626
00:39:45,829 --> 00:39:49,387
It did, you actually fell off a
building and then you're not dead.

627
00:39:49,389 --> 00:39:50,507
Yeah.

628
00:39:50,509 --> 00:39:52,827
Then we saw you dead, but anyway...
Yeah.

629
00:39:52,829 --> 00:39:55,387
When do you find out how that
had been achieved?

630
00:39:55,389 --> 00:39:58,547
I think it'll be some time near
the end of this year,

631
00:39:58,549 --> 00:40:01,107
or at the beginning of next.
That's what we're aiming for.

632
00:40:01,109 --> 00:40:04,667
Obviously, more recently, we've seen
you in the new Star Trek movie.
Yeah.

633
00:40:04,669 --> 00:40:05,987
Anyone seen that?

634
00:40:05,989 --> 00:40:08,027
Yes! Absolutely.

635
00:40:08,029 --> 00:40:11,747
And you are a damn good baddie, if I
may be so bold. Thank you very much.

636
00:40:11,749 --> 00:40:16,307
It does beg the question, why are
the Americans incapable of casting

637
00:40:16,309 --> 00:40:19,107
an American as the baddie in any
film? I don't know.

638
00:40:19,109 --> 00:40:22,867
I had a sort of pet theory that they
do vowels, which are sort of warm

639
00:40:22,869 --> 00:40:24,987
and loving and feeling, and we do
consonants,

640
00:40:24,989 --> 00:40:27,227
which are sharp and
intelligent and thinking.

641
00:40:27,229 --> 00:40:30,707
That's as hippy, mad,
leftfield as I can get with it.

642
00:40:30,709 --> 00:40:32,267
We sound more intelligent?

643
00:40:32,269 --> 00:40:34,829
Sort of, and maybe that's
scary for them, I don't know!

644
00:40:35,829 --> 00:40:37,267
End of my US career!

645
00:40:37,269 --> 00:40:38,467
Yes, I was going to say!

646
00:40:38,469 --> 00:40:41,507
One of the things I must ask is, now
that you've appeared in Star Trek,

647
00:40:41,509 --> 00:40:44,227
do you find yourself being
approached

648
00:40:44,229 --> 00:40:46,747
by those of a Trekkie disposition?

649
00:40:46,749 --> 00:40:48,627
The ones I have
met are remarkably normal.

650
00:40:48,629 --> 00:40:52,947
It is a bit like, "I-I'm quite
a Trekkie fan, actually." You are?

651
00:40:52,949 --> 00:40:55,347
No, that was me pretending
to be one.

652
00:40:55,349 --> 00:40:58,907
Oh, OK! You're such a good actor,
I thought actually you were one!

653
00:40:58,909 --> 00:41:01,267
Fooled you there, Jeremy!
Fooled you there!

654
00:41:01,269 --> 00:41:03,507
I wasn't, actually,
I wasn't a Trekkie.

655
00:41:03,509 --> 00:41:06,547
I watched the first film, I was very
into that, and then I obviously did

656
00:41:06,549 --> 00:41:10,627
a little bit of research as far as
what I was about to do in the canon,

657
00:41:10,629 --> 00:41:13,627
and I really got into it.
It was great to be a part of it.

658
00:41:13,629 --> 00:41:15,827
You do worry about saying that you
like Star Trek,

659
00:41:15,829 --> 00:41:18,387
but I've always liked it, ever since
it was Kirk and Spock,

660
00:41:18,389 --> 00:41:20,387
right the way through,
Jean-Luc Picard.

661
00:41:20,389 --> 00:41:23,187
Yeah, it's a great relationship.
A great relationship. Yeah... No?

662
00:41:23,189 --> 00:41:24,867
I don't see that -
what relationship?

663
00:41:24,869 --> 00:41:27,587
Between Kirk, Spock and Bones.
I think those three...

664
00:41:27,589 --> 00:41:30,067
This is it, if I talk about
a relationship between two men

665
00:41:30,069 --> 00:41:31,749
in a drama, they're immediately
at it.

666
00:41:33,069 --> 00:41:35,667
The worldwide inter-lie will just
go, splat,

667
00:41:35,669 --> 00:41:38,467
there's a load of fan fiction which
has me and John Watson

668
00:41:38,469 --> 00:41:41,149
floating in space in a bed,
handcuffed to one another.

669
00:41:42,869 --> 00:41:44,747
Not just with handcuffs either!

670
00:41:44,749 --> 00:41:47,629
I could write that tonight,
it would be fun!

671
00:41:49,549 --> 00:41:53,267
You're from an acting family. I am,
my mum and dad are both actors.

672
00:41:53,269 --> 00:41:56,467
Mum... Both, actually... My car
history sort of begins with them.

673
00:41:56,469 --> 00:41:58,427
I sort of was introduced to
cars by them...

674
00:41:58,429 --> 00:42:02,267
It's interesting, we've got
a photograph of your mum here, look.
Yep.

675
00:42:02,269 --> 00:42:05,187
Now, my mum didn't have
a car like that.

676
00:42:05,189 --> 00:42:07,507
That's quite cool. It's very cool.

677
00:42:07,509 --> 00:42:10,227
Is that from a Gerry Anderson?
It is, it's from UFO.

678
00:42:10,229 --> 00:42:11,747
Yeah. No, she was in UFO?

679
00:42:11,749 --> 00:42:15,067
She was in UFO. So that obviously
wasn't her car, that is a...?

680
00:42:15,069 --> 00:42:18,547
No, but she did drive it, and it was
driveable. She had an MGT...

681
00:42:18,549 --> 00:42:20,347
An MGB, I should say, a hatchback.

682
00:42:20,349 --> 00:42:22,387
Not a hatchback,
sorry - a soft top. Yeah.

683
00:42:22,389 --> 00:42:23,787
But all cars before I was born...

684
00:42:23,789 --> 00:42:25,707
When I was born,
it all got a bit sensible.

685
00:42:25,709 --> 00:42:27,629
She had a Mini, which was great.

686
00:42:28,949 --> 00:42:30,467
Cos that was my first car.
Was it? Yeah.

687
00:42:30,469 --> 00:42:32,507
Your first car was actually
a proper Mini, then?

688
00:42:32,509 --> 00:42:33,907
A little Mini. Crash it?

689
00:42:33,909 --> 00:42:36,507
No, but I did reverse after
a night out

690
00:42:36,509 --> 00:42:38,947
over a very large rock on a driveway

691
00:42:38,949 --> 00:42:42,947
and the gearstick just went,
"Thunk," right through the chassis
of the car.

692
00:42:42,949 --> 00:42:44,189
So, next car was a...?

693
00:42:45,549 --> 00:42:48,947
A Golf Mitsubishi Colt from 1982,
hatchback. A Golf?

694
00:42:48,949 --> 00:42:51,347
Yeah. No, not a Golf, sorry.
Mitsubishi Colt.

695
00:42:51,349 --> 00:42:53,869
So, your MGT
and a Golf Mitsubishi! Yeah!

696
00:42:55,189 --> 00:42:58,747
I'm getting my... I'm cross-splicing
in some future world of cars!

697
00:42:58,749 --> 00:43:00,707
There's a lot of car
jumbling going on!

698
00:43:00,709 --> 00:43:03,347
It's a good job I don't do
your job - I'd be rubbish at it.

699
00:43:03,349 --> 00:43:05,187
It's a good job I don't do yours -

700
00:43:05,189 --> 00:43:08,147
I've no idea how to fly a spaceship
or punch anyone.

701
00:43:08,149 --> 00:43:11,427
Or act. That can be taught. I got
taught that. What, how to punch?

702
00:43:11,429 --> 00:43:13,907
Yeah. Hollywood fu, it was great
fun.

703
00:43:13,909 --> 00:43:17,867
Do you punch like... Do you punch
with that side of your hand?

704
00:43:17,869 --> 00:43:19,507
What are you doing? When you punch.

705
00:43:19,509 --> 00:43:22,427
You look like you're trying to wipe
a windscreen or something.

706
00:43:22,429 --> 00:43:25,227
No, when you punch somebody,
cos I've often... You sometimes...

707
00:43:25,229 --> 00:43:27,947
Normally, you're quite tight and
it's all from the waist,

708
00:43:27,949 --> 00:43:31,347
but you have to sell it a bit more
for the camera, so you arc it round
a bit.

709
00:43:31,349 --> 00:43:34,947
You could try it. Shall we try it
now? Shall we try a fake punch?

710
00:43:34,949 --> 00:43:36,507
Yeah!

711
00:43:36,509 --> 00:43:38,427
What if it turns into a real one?

712
00:43:38,429 --> 00:43:40,869
I'll give and you receive.

713
00:43:43,429 --> 00:43:45,027
I like being the dominant one.

714
00:43:45,029 --> 00:43:46,947
So, there's the camera. That one?

715
00:43:46,949 --> 00:43:50,067
Facing me. You're actually directing
now! Yeah! Facing you...

716
00:43:50,069 --> 00:43:51,827
Am I ready for this punch? Yeah.

717
00:43:51,829 --> 00:43:55,189
When I get to about there, you can
move your head. But what if I don't?

718
00:43:56,909 --> 00:43:58,307
I'm not going to do that.

719
00:43:58,309 --> 00:44:01,509
Is anybody... Your dry-cleaning
bills when my nose...!

720
00:44:02,549 --> 00:44:04,067
All right. Are you ready? Yes.

721
00:44:04,069 --> 00:44:05,949
OK, and...

722
00:44:08,709 --> 00:44:10,509
Did that look all right?
He knows, they know.

723
00:44:14,949 --> 00:44:17,867
We've had many actors on the show
over the years, sitting there,

724
00:44:17,869 --> 00:44:20,387
but we've never had one who's been
carjacked before.

725
00:44:20,389 --> 00:44:22,587
Oh, really? That's good.

726
00:44:22,589 --> 00:44:24,947
It is, but you were genuinely
carjacked.

727
00:44:24,949 --> 00:44:26,947
I was genuinely carjacked. Yeah.

728
00:44:26,949 --> 00:44:28,467
Scary? How did it happen?

729
00:44:28,469 --> 00:44:29,867
It was very scary.

730
00:44:29,869 --> 00:44:32,987
I have to emphasise,
not just because I love South Africa

731
00:44:32,989 --> 00:44:34,187
and South Africans,

732
00:44:34,189 --> 00:44:37,827
but it was a small event in a very
big country, and we were very lucky.

733
00:44:37,829 --> 00:44:40,787
We were on a bumpy dirt track
and had gone onto the N2,

734
00:44:40,789 --> 00:44:43,627
the major trunk
road down the east coast,

735
00:44:43,629 --> 00:44:47,547
and the front right tyre blew
and these guys surrounded us,

736
00:44:47,549 --> 00:44:51,307
stuff went on with belongings
and we were pushed about a bit.

737
00:44:51,309 --> 00:44:53,667
I was put in the boot of the car,
though, at one point,

738
00:44:53,669 --> 00:44:55,467
and that was interesting.

739
00:44:55,469 --> 00:44:58,467
I thought, "Maybe I could diffuse
the brake lights,

740
00:44:58,469 --> 00:44:59,547
"then the police..."

741
00:44:59,549 --> 00:45:02,747
No, no policeman in South Africa
is going to pull over a car

742
00:45:02,749 --> 00:45:05,987
full of men at midnight to
question a broken taillight.

743
00:45:05,989 --> 00:45:08,627
But it was very scary.

744
00:45:08,629 --> 00:45:12,187
When they got you out again, did
they not put a duvet over your head?

745
00:45:12,189 --> 00:45:14,747
At one point,
stuff was being thrown out the car.

746
00:45:14,749 --> 00:45:16,907
We were underneath this underpass

747
00:45:16,909 --> 00:45:19,787
and these juggernauts were just
charging over

748
00:45:19,789 --> 00:45:22,227
and the sound cover
would be perfect for a quiet pop.

749
00:45:22,229 --> 00:45:25,587
Then this duvet got thrown out, just
went over our head, and I thought,

750
00:45:25,589 --> 00:45:27,267
"Again, it's the pillow thing,

751
00:45:27,269 --> 00:45:29,747
"it's going to be a muffler for
a gunshot."

752
00:45:29,749 --> 00:45:31,947
So I kind of came to terms
with mortality

753
00:45:31,949 --> 00:45:35,467
and dying on my own about four
times in the space of half an hour.

754
00:45:35,469 --> 00:45:37,467
The whole thing
went on for about two hours.

755
00:45:37,469 --> 00:45:40,147
We mustn't put people off southern
Africa. No, we mustn't.

756
00:45:40,149 --> 00:45:41,707
It's a big, beautiful place. It is.

757
00:45:41,709 --> 00:45:44,669
So we could just ignore all that, it
doesn't really happen! Cut that!

758
00:45:45,909 --> 00:45:49,149
Anyway, so, you came down here to
do your lap. Oh, BLEEP!

759
00:45:50,949 --> 00:45:53,067
And how was it out there?
It was really good fun.

760
00:45:53,069 --> 00:45:55,947
The first couple of laps, I couldn't
see the wood for the trees,

761
00:45:55,949 --> 00:45:57,547
but as it went on, I think I got...

762
00:45:57,549 --> 00:45:58,867
I bettered my times later on,

763
00:45:58,869 --> 00:46:01,347
so I was obviously learning
something. How do you know?

764
00:46:01,349 --> 00:46:03,027
People would go, "Mmm."

765
00:46:03,029 --> 00:46:05,027
Oh, just from people's "Mmm"?

766
00:46:05,029 --> 00:46:08,187
I'm told you did more laps than
any guest we've had.

767
00:46:08,189 --> 00:46:10,227
Oh, that's so shaming!

768
00:46:10,229 --> 00:46:12,747
Who'd like to see the fastest lap?

769
00:46:12,749 --> 00:46:13,749
Yeah!

770
00:46:14,789 --> 00:46:16,667
Let's have a look.

771
00:46:16,669 --> 00:46:17,907
OK.

772
00:46:17,909 --> 00:46:18,949
Oh, yes.

773
00:46:21,069 --> 00:46:22,069
We are away.

774
00:46:23,509 --> 00:46:25,309
Yippee ki-yay, mother-BLEEP!

775
00:46:26,869 --> 00:46:28,469
A fan of The Hangover is here!

776
00:46:29,549 --> 00:46:33,189
Look at it grip,
with a lifetime warranty.

777
00:46:35,629 --> 00:46:37,869
That's not bad.
Is that all right? Yeah.

778
00:46:38,869 --> 00:46:39,909
It is hot in here.

779
00:46:40,949 --> 00:46:42,547
That's no excuse, come on.

780
00:46:42,549 --> 00:46:46,147
Did you have the air conditioning
off or on? Off. Good man.

781
00:46:46,149 --> 00:46:49,347
A bit wide through there,
maybe costing you half a second.

782
00:46:49,349 --> 00:46:53,469
Gear change, gear change, gear
change, gear change. So... boom.

783
00:46:55,429 --> 00:46:58,869
Yeah, like the Sundance Kid there,
very quick mover! Oh, God!

784
00:47:00,709 --> 00:47:02,827
Bit slow, but at least you're not
skidding about.

785
00:47:02,829 --> 00:47:06,187
You haven't really used all
the track - or, indeed, any of it.
Anyway...

786
00:47:06,189 --> 00:47:09,069
Use the track, Benedict.

787
00:47:11,149 --> 00:47:15,747
Ladies and gentlemen, Alec Guinness
in the Reasonably Priced Car!

788
00:47:15,749 --> 00:47:17,507
Moved those, that was well done.

789
00:47:17,509 --> 00:47:19,987
And now here it is,
second-to-last corner.

790
00:47:19,989 --> 00:47:21,547
Holy crap, this is scary.

791
00:47:21,549 --> 00:47:24,387
No, that is
pretty much perfect. Is it?

792
00:47:24,389 --> 00:47:26,747
That really is perfect, Gambon.

793
00:47:26,749 --> 00:47:29,949
Ooh, fast. Ooh, fast,
but not Jimmy Carr. Across the line!

794
00:47:35,189 --> 00:47:38,109
Ah, not bad! That is all right.
That is all right.

795
00:47:41,269 --> 00:47:44,827
These are the times we have so far
in our Reasonably Priced Car.

796
00:47:44,829 --> 00:47:45,787
Ooh, crikey.

797
00:47:45,789 --> 00:47:47,427
Where do we think?

798
00:47:47,429 --> 00:47:48,987
I don't know, I don't know.

799
00:47:48,989 --> 00:47:51,467
Maybe faster than Warwick, I'd be
happy with that.

800
00:47:51,469 --> 00:47:54,147
Faster than Warwick, at 1:46.8.

801
00:47:54,149 --> 00:47:57,227
That's where you're aiming.
That's very high, isn't it?

802
00:47:57,229 --> 00:48:00,989
Benedict Cumberbatch,
you... are leaning forwards.

803
00:48:02,069 --> 00:48:03,827
It won't make my time faster,
will it?!

804
00:48:03,829 --> 00:48:06,707
I haven't got much space
left on here!

805
00:48:06,709 --> 00:48:08,309
Then shorten the time!

806
00:48:09,789 --> 00:48:11,029
You did it in one...

807
00:48:13,029 --> 00:48:14,709
..40...

808
00:48:20,269 --> 00:48:21,469
..7.8.

809
00:48:23,149 --> 00:48:24,549
Oh! So you're not faster.

810
00:48:31,469 --> 00:48:33,749
I can live with that.
It's in the middle.

811
00:48:34,909 --> 00:48:37,627
What I've got here is a list of all
the other people who've

812
00:48:37,629 --> 00:48:39,547
appeared on Star Trek.

813
00:48:39,549 --> 00:48:41,987
If it makes you feel any better,

814
00:48:41,989 --> 00:48:45,107
Jean-Luc Picard, 1:50 dead.
Oh, dear.

815
00:48:45,109 --> 00:48:47,267
So you're faster than he was.

816
00:48:47,269 --> 00:48:51,427
But the previous baddie in the last
film, Eric Bana, 1:47.5,

817
00:48:51,429 --> 00:48:53,107
and that was in the wet.

818
00:48:53,109 --> 00:48:54,627
Phwoar. So Eric Bana is faster.

819
00:48:54,629 --> 00:48:56,667
I can't really find any
comfort at all for you.

820
00:48:56,669 --> 00:48:59,227
I've just got to come back,
you've got to invite me back.

821
00:48:59,229 --> 00:49:01,707
I basically brought you down here
and ruined your day.

822
00:49:01,709 --> 00:49:03,387
Yeah, yeah! I do apologise for that,

823
00:49:03,389 --> 00:49:06,347
because it has been an enormous
pleasure. Likewise, thank you.

824
00:49:06,349 --> 00:49:08,667
Best of luck with the new Sherlock,
absolute joy.

825
00:49:08,669 --> 00:49:10,829
Ladies and gentlemen,
Benedict Cumberbatch.

826
00:49:22,749 --> 00:49:24,987
Now, tonight, we are heading for
Madrid

827
00:49:24,989 --> 00:49:26,947
in three convertible supercars.

828
00:49:26,949 --> 00:49:30,827
So far, we've found Spain to be
full of brand-new things that

829
00:49:30,829 --> 00:49:32,507
nobody seems to be using.

830
00:49:32,509 --> 00:49:35,787
Absolutely. We spent
the night in an unwanted house,

831
00:49:35,789 --> 00:49:39,147
where Jeremy had cooked us dinner.

832
00:49:39,149 --> 00:49:41,469
Anyway, we rejoin the action
the following morning.

833
00:49:47,989 --> 00:49:51,029
'After a hectic night on the
lavatory, we headed off.

834
00:49:52,349 --> 00:49:54,349
'But after just 100 yards...'

835
00:49:55,989 --> 00:49:57,589
Oh, I've ruined my Ferrari.

836
00:49:59,349 --> 00:50:01,547
'..I hit a bollard.

837
00:50:01,549 --> 00:50:05,627
'Luckily, though, my colleagues
didn't make a big deal of it.'

838
00:50:05,629 --> 00:50:09,627
Hammond, look out for that signpost
dead ahead of you. Hammond, careful.

839
00:50:09,629 --> 00:50:11,787
Block of flats on the right.

840
00:50:11,789 --> 00:50:12,829
Please kill me.

841
00:50:14,789 --> 00:50:17,749
Breaking a Ferrari is
an especially bad thing.

842
00:50:19,069 --> 00:50:21,987
It's like kicking a rabbit.

843
00:50:21,989 --> 00:50:24,787
Hammond, when we get on
the motorway,

844
00:50:24,789 --> 00:50:26,027
you'll be driving quite fast,

845
00:50:26,029 --> 00:50:29,309
it might be 70 miles an hour, you'll
really need to concentrate there.

846
00:50:36,549 --> 00:50:38,347
Hammond, move right, mind the Armco.

847
00:50:38,349 --> 00:50:39,669
They're never going to give up.

848
00:50:42,789 --> 00:50:44,989
'Sure enough,
the abuse kept on coming.'

849
00:50:46,349 --> 00:50:49,987
Two big metal pillars, Hammond.
Don't... Do you see them? Mind that!

850
00:50:49,989 --> 00:50:51,949
That way! You're all right.

851
00:50:55,189 --> 00:51:00,147
'Happily, after several uneventful
miles on yet another empty motorway,

852
00:51:00,149 --> 00:51:02,469
'we were finally approaching Madrid.'

853
00:51:05,989 --> 00:51:09,427
I know capital cities often escape
the worst of austerity times

854
00:51:09,429 --> 00:51:12,629
like these, so hopefully that'll
still be a busy old place.

855
00:51:13,989 --> 00:51:16,109
'However...'

856
00:51:29,629 --> 00:51:30,669
Holy God.

857
00:51:31,869 --> 00:51:32,869
Look at it.

858
00:51:35,029 --> 00:51:36,629
There are thousands of them.

859
00:51:41,269 --> 00:51:44,189
This crash was clearly bigger
than ever I realised.

860
00:51:49,069 --> 00:51:52,589
Still, look on the upside - there's
no-one for Hammond to run over.

861
00:51:55,269 --> 00:51:58,349
'And that thought gave me
yet another brilliant idea.'

862
00:52:00,189 --> 00:52:03,867
Nobody is driving on that road.

863
00:52:03,869 --> 00:52:07,227
So what are you suggesting?
Or that road.

864
00:52:07,229 --> 00:52:12,067
What I'm saying is, we turn this
town into a street circuit.

865
00:52:12,069 --> 00:52:16,347
Ship The Stig out, he sets a time in
a car of some sort

866
00:52:16,349 --> 00:52:18,307
and we try and match it.

867
00:52:18,309 --> 00:52:19,987
It's an ambitious plan.

868
00:52:19,989 --> 00:52:21,587
How hard can it be?

869
00:52:21,589 --> 00:52:25,707
A few tyres, bits of barrier.
That's an excellent grandstand.

870
00:52:25,709 --> 00:52:29,227
All the residents - if there were
any - could sit on those balconies
and watch.

871
00:52:29,229 --> 00:52:32,467
Bernie Ecclestone will now be
leaning forward in his chair and
going,

872
00:52:32,469 --> 00:52:34,227
"Good idea."

873
00:52:34,229 --> 00:52:37,149
This is the Madrid Grand Prix,
coming up.

874
00:52:38,309 --> 00:52:40,427
'Having sorted out a course,

875
00:52:40,429 --> 00:52:43,589
'James and I set about making
it into an actual track.'

876
00:52:46,389 --> 00:52:49,149
I can't do them regular
if you're going that fast!

877
00:52:50,349 --> 00:52:52,789
It's uphill. Yeah.
Keep going! Yeah, yeah.

878
00:52:55,309 --> 00:52:57,707
This is Ferrari rosso.

879
00:52:57,709 --> 00:52:59,067
So when you crash into it,

880
00:52:59,069 --> 00:53:02,509
this will effectively repair
the damage you've done to your car.

881
00:53:04,869 --> 00:53:07,027
'Because of my problem with
manual labour,

882
00:53:07,029 --> 00:53:08,629
'I went off to collect The Stig.'

883
00:53:16,349 --> 00:53:17,589
So, this is the start, yeah?

884
00:53:18,989 --> 00:53:21,947
Careful. So this one goes...

885
00:53:21,949 --> 00:53:25,229
James, just do them when I'm...

886
00:53:26,949 --> 00:53:28,707
..getting the...

887
00:53:28,709 --> 00:53:31,269
No! That's... What the bloody hell?

888
00:53:33,069 --> 00:53:34,907
Oops.

889
00:53:34,909 --> 00:53:36,587
Ah, he's here.

890
00:53:36,589 --> 00:53:38,547
The Stig's here.

891
00:53:38,549 --> 00:53:39,549
Is he all right?

892
00:53:43,189 --> 00:53:48,587
'With the circuit complete and
christened, we unwrapped The Stig

893
00:53:48,589 --> 00:53:52,909
'so he could set a benchmark time in
a supercharged Jaguar convertible.'

894
00:53:55,829 --> 00:53:59,107
Right, are you ready with
the stopwatch, James May? Yes, I am.

895
00:53:59,109 --> 00:54:01,667
Bradley Cooper will start it.

896
00:54:01,669 --> 00:54:05,069
Three, two, one!

897
00:54:07,549 --> 00:54:09,309
That's a dirty, dirty sound.

898
00:54:15,909 --> 00:54:18,147
Oh, look at that!
He's got his tail out,

899
00:54:18,149 --> 00:54:20,429
going round the Rockery of
Gibraltar.

900
00:54:23,709 --> 00:54:25,587
'Because this was a street circuit,

901
00:54:25,589 --> 00:54:27,909
'it was lined with wheel-killing
kerbs.

902
00:54:30,069 --> 00:54:32,069
'And there was even a speed hump.

903
00:54:34,549 --> 00:54:36,949
'But these things were of no
moment to The Stig.'

904
00:54:43,109 --> 00:54:48,267
Whoa! 57 and a half seconds.

905
00:54:48,269 --> 00:54:49,949
Right!

906
00:54:55,709 --> 00:54:58,387
'We then set off on a sighting lap,

907
00:54:58,389 --> 00:55:00,507
'knowing that
if we wanted to beat The Stig,

908
00:55:00,509 --> 00:55:04,589
'we'd have to average at least
60 miles an hour.'

909
00:55:06,149 --> 00:55:07,509
That is alarming there.

910
00:55:08,709 --> 00:55:11,267
'Even though our cars were faster
than the Jag,

911
00:55:11,269 --> 00:55:12,829
'it looked like a tall order.'

912
00:55:16,909 --> 00:55:19,907
OK, here we go, this is it,
you and me, little Ferrari.

913
00:55:19,909 --> 00:55:22,549
Now's our chance,
give it everything you've got.

914
00:55:24,309 --> 00:55:25,269
Three, two, one!

915
00:55:30,589 --> 00:55:31,669
Really fast start.

916
00:55:36,589 --> 00:55:39,309
On the limiter,
round the Rockery of Gibraltar.

917
00:55:49,509 --> 00:55:51,429
Turn it. This thing will grip,
Richard.

918
00:55:58,029 --> 00:56:00,949
Left that late. Back on the power
as soon as you can.

919
00:56:04,829 --> 00:56:06,747
That was quick.

920
00:56:06,749 --> 00:56:08,589
Now, the chicane. This is monstrous.

921
00:56:17,589 --> 00:56:19,749
Then, thread it through.
That is tight.

922
00:56:23,589 --> 00:56:26,389
And now the final straight,
up towards the finish line.

923
00:56:28,749 --> 00:56:30,949
This is all I've got,
everything I can.

924
00:56:32,909 --> 00:56:40,589
Little Fezza, I really hope I've made
up for crashing you this morning.

925
00:56:45,149 --> 00:56:48,069
'With my work done,
it was Mr Slowly's turn.'

926
00:56:49,309 --> 00:56:50,309
Three, two, one!

927
00:56:54,509 --> 00:56:55,789
Ooh, it sounds second!

928
00:56:57,789 --> 00:56:59,667
Third!

929
00:56:59,669 --> 00:57:01,789
James May, ladies
and gentlemen, hit third!

930
00:57:07,629 --> 00:57:11,029
There's a left-hander somewhere.
There it is. Throw him in.

931
00:57:18,829 --> 00:57:20,629
Lord Howard of Effingham.

932
00:57:22,709 --> 00:57:25,549
Oh, tricky gear change with
the gear... Oh, BLEEP!

933
00:57:29,149 --> 00:57:31,349
No-one expects the Spanish
speed hump.

934
00:57:40,029 --> 00:57:41,189
Nice and straight.

935
00:57:44,869 --> 00:57:46,269
Nearly bloody killed me.

936
00:57:50,309 --> 00:57:52,789
'Finally,
it was the turn of the McLaren.'

937
00:57:55,069 --> 00:57:56,309
Active, aero, sport.

938
00:57:57,349 --> 00:57:58,349
Well, this is it.

939
00:58:00,349 --> 00:58:01,349
Three, two, one!

940
00:58:05,509 --> 00:58:07,269
Whoa, that was launch control!

941
00:58:12,429 --> 00:58:14,069
Concentrate, Jeremy, concentrate.

942
00:58:16,189 --> 00:58:17,229
Oh, no!

943
00:58:19,069 --> 00:58:20,709
Massive tail slide there!

944
00:58:23,109 --> 00:58:25,069
And on to the Golden Hind straight.

945
00:58:29,389 --> 00:58:32,789
91 miles an hour there.
Down to second.

946
00:58:55,349 --> 00:58:56,349
Come on, power!

947
00:59:00,349 --> 00:59:01,429
Oooh!

948
00:59:09,429 --> 00:59:14,947
I have to say, our street circuit
was a million times better

949
00:59:14,949 --> 00:59:19,107
than Spain's other one in Valencia.
It's one of the most boring street
circuits in the world. Yeah.

950
00:59:19,109 --> 00:59:22,387
The only problem I had was,
you know the Lord Howard of
Effingham chicane? Yes.

951
00:59:22,389 --> 00:59:23,787
You really wanted first,

952
00:59:23,789 --> 00:59:27,427
but I couldn't ever get it in the
McLaren. Trying to jam it down.

953
00:59:27,429 --> 00:59:31,307
The problem I had is when you get to
the "no-one expects
the Spanish speed hump". Yeah.

954
00:59:31,309 --> 00:59:34,667
You had to go wide and try to hit it
reasonably square, cos if you got it
at an angle,

955
00:59:34,669 --> 00:59:38,867
you'd be banged into the kerb.
And then, you'd smash your wheel
off! Yeah, absolutely. Yes, yes!

956
00:59:38,869 --> 00:59:41,547
Anyway, I have the results here.

957
00:59:41,549 --> 00:59:43,949
And the... well, there's no other way
to put this...

958
00:59:45,429 --> 00:59:48,907
..the fastest car around
our magnificent track was...

959
00:59:48,909 --> 00:59:52,189
the Ferrari! Yeah, it was! It wasn't.

960
00:59:53,349 --> 00:59:55,827
No, it was, cos if you look,
there's the numbers

961
00:59:55,829 --> 00:59:58,747
next to the names, the one next to
mine is the smallest, that means...

962
00:59:58,749 --> 01:00:02,947
No, no, Hammond. The Ferrari was
the fastest in the first lap.

963
01:00:02,949 --> 01:00:06,667
Well, it was a one-lap event.
It wasn't a one-lap event!

964
01:00:06,669 --> 01:00:09,427
No, cos then, we parcel
the cameras away, OK,

965
01:00:09,429 --> 01:00:12,587
and then we kept going,
as you remember, and by the end,

966
01:00:12,589 --> 01:00:15,827
the McLaren was not just faster
than the Ferrari,

967
01:00:15,829 --> 01:00:18,027
but faster than The Stig.

968
01:00:18,029 --> 01:00:21,267
But that wasn't the end, because then
The Stig went out again in the Jag

969
01:00:21,269 --> 01:00:25,627
and was faster than the McLaren. Yes.
Hang on, that wasn't the end either,
because, if you remember,

970
01:00:25,629 --> 01:00:28,747
it then started raining and in the
rain, the Audi was the fastest

971
01:00:28,749 --> 01:00:31,307
because of its four-wheel drive.
So...

972
01:00:31,309 --> 01:00:33,427
This isn't very good, is it?

973
01:00:33,429 --> 01:00:35,027
Well, it's not very clear.

974
01:00:35,029 --> 01:00:37,787
No, what we're saying is,
at various different points,

975
01:00:37,789 --> 01:00:39,947
all of them were the fastest. Yeah.

976
01:00:39,949 --> 01:00:42,227
Anyway, I've got the results
of everything over here,

977
01:00:42,229 --> 01:00:43,627
all the categories.

978
01:00:43,629 --> 01:00:47,267
And speed, yes, we decided
that was a dead heat for all three.

979
01:00:47,269 --> 01:00:50,747
Well, no, I mean, on the night,
it was the Ferrari.
It wasn't the Ferrari...

980
01:00:50,749 --> 01:00:53,669
It was a one-lap event... It was
the McLa... Would you two shut up?

981
01:00:56,749 --> 01:01:01,027
Quietness, that was also a dead heat
between the Audi and the McLaren.

982
01:01:01,029 --> 01:01:04,147
Discretion, the Audi.

983
01:01:04,149 --> 01:01:06,507
Economy, that was the Audi.

984
01:01:06,509 --> 01:01:09,067
Value was the Audi, but...

985
01:01:09,069 --> 01:01:11,307
finally, equipment...

986
01:01:11,309 --> 01:01:12,709
that was the Audi.

987
01:01:14,109 --> 01:01:15,667
A bit clearer, isn't it?

988
01:01:15,669 --> 01:01:18,187
Fairly comprehensive win there
for the Audi. Uh-huh.

989
01:01:18,189 --> 01:01:21,827
So, James May, of the three cars,
knowing what we know now,

990
01:01:21,829 --> 01:01:24,107
which would you choose to buy?

991
01:01:24,109 --> 01:01:25,269
The Ferrari.

992
01:01:27,109 --> 01:01:28,947
Yeah, it's the Ferrari. And you?

993
01:01:28,949 --> 01:01:31,827
Uh... McLaren. Interesting. Really?

994
01:01:31,829 --> 01:01:34,107
No, I'd have the Ferrari. Good.

995
01:01:34,109 --> 01:01:36,827
I mean, the McLaren is absolutely
brilliant,

996
01:01:36,829 --> 01:01:39,787
but the Ferrari is just
a little bit more special.

997
01:01:39,789 --> 01:01:42,827
So what we're finally saying
is we'd all three have a car

998
01:01:42,829 --> 01:01:45,509
that dissolves if you drive it
too quickly.

999
01:01:47,149 --> 01:01:48,747
Yes, yes.

1000
01:01:48,749 --> 01:01:50,827
But on that bombshell, we can end.

1001
01:01:50,829 --> 01:01:52,707
Thank you very much for watching.

1002
01:01:52,709 --> 01:01:55,749
See you all again next week.
Take care, good night!

1003
01:01:55,774 --> 01:02:24,440
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