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(THEME SONG PLAYING)
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00:00:51,709 --> 00:00:53,002
(GATE BANGS)
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Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
4
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(GATE CLOSING)
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(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
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__
7
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__
8
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I come here to buy a boat, not
become some goddamn pirate.
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(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
10
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__
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Please don't drop that.
12
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Get out there. Shake hands.
13
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(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
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__
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__
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(TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
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These are very
important people.
18
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(TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
19
00:02:02,780 --> 00:02:04,031
Go meet his wife.
20
00:02:04,448 --> 00:02:06,951
I've been cooking all day.
I smell like onions.
21
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(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
22
00:02:08,326 --> 00:02:09,369
__
23
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I have someone to
make you acquaintance.
24
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(ALL TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
25
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RED: That's disgusting.
26
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And unsanitary.
27
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Keeps 'em warm all day long.
28
00:02:27,763 --> 00:02:28,973
Thanks for this back board.
29
00:02:29,098 --> 00:02:30,140
Pleasure doin'
business with you.
30
00:02:30,265 --> 00:02:31,976
WOMAN OVER PA: 5:00 a.m.
Breakfast time.
31
00:02:33,060 --> 00:02:35,062
So we need request forms for
next spring's non-perishables.
32
00:02:35,145 --> 00:02:36,647
Bring 'em tonight.
33
00:02:36,814 --> 00:02:38,315
Tori's getting out
in six weeks,
34
00:02:38,398 --> 00:02:40,651
so we gotta train someone
new on the feed slicer.
35
00:02:40,776 --> 00:02:41,944
Look into little Sara.
36
00:02:42,027 --> 00:02:43,695
Make sure she
never stabbed people.
37
00:02:43,862 --> 00:02:46,490
And Betty's been acting up again.
The bitch is gonna fuck us.
38
00:02:46,615 --> 00:02:47,908
A little patience.
39
00:02:47,992 --> 00:02:50,410
She's been here a lot of years.
I'll deal with her.
40
00:02:51,453 --> 00:02:52,496
The blondie?
41
00:02:52,621 --> 00:02:53,956
Yes. She's going nuts.
42
00:02:54,039 --> 00:02:55,206
That one's a light touch.
43
00:02:55,332 --> 00:02:56,893
Well, you did serve
her a bloody tampon.
44
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Yeah. Heh.
45
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I'm proud of that one.
46
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I have to go to another prison.
47
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A different one.
48
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You have to move me.
49
00:03:08,177 --> 00:03:10,973
Like this is the Radisson
and you don't like your room?
50
00:03:14,685 --> 00:03:15,769
Why?
51
00:03:15,894 --> 00:03:17,521
Why isn't this the Radisson?
52
00:03:17,604 --> 00:03:19,481
Why do you need to be moved?
53
00:03:22,191 --> 00:03:25,194
Did someone try
to engage with you sexually?
54
00:03:30,034 --> 00:03:31,827
Tell me what
happened out there.
55
00:03:37,248 --> 00:03:38,709
(WOMAN TALKING
INDISTINCTLY OVER PA)
56
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It's fine.
57
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I just freaked out.
58
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I'll be fine.
59
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I'm sure you will.
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You're gonna be
late for orientation.
61
00:04:03,942 --> 00:04:05,944
MAN OVER PA: Attention, ladies.
Remember the rules.
62
00:04:06,070 --> 00:04:08,072
- Hey, sorry I'm late.
- Sit down.
63
00:04:19,583 --> 00:04:20,667
That one's broke.
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(CLANGING)
65
00:04:25,756 --> 00:04:26,757
WOMAN ON TV: Hi.
66
00:04:26,882 --> 00:04:30,010
Welcome to the Federal
Department of Corrections,
67
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where we strive
68
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to maintain facilities that are
secure, humane, and cost effective.
69
00:04:36,850 --> 00:04:38,060
(SNIGGERS)
70
00:04:38,894 --> 00:04:41,479
Night school classes are
offered three nights a week.
71
00:04:41,605 --> 00:04:45,358
There are a variety of
recreational activities available
72
00:04:45,442 --> 00:04:49,071
and clinical visits are offered
at the inmates' request.
73
00:04:49,154 --> 00:04:53,491
But enough about policy. Let's
get to the important stuff.
74
00:04:56,411 --> 00:04:58,371
This is a piece of copper pipe.
75
00:04:58,455 --> 00:05:00,457
And it was taken
from the laundry room.
76
00:05:00,540 --> 00:05:01,583
(CLANGS)
77
00:05:01,666 --> 00:05:02,751
It's hard.
78
00:05:03,293 --> 00:05:05,796
This was used
to break two ribs.
79
00:05:05,921 --> 00:05:08,381
Could also be used
to crack your skull,
80
00:05:08,465 --> 00:05:11,135
break your knee,
muss up your makeup.
81
00:05:13,137 --> 00:05:14,596
Amongst other things.
82
00:05:16,056 --> 00:05:19,143
Suicidal thoughts will come.
Frequently.
83
00:05:19,226 --> 00:05:22,687
Some days, it'll feel like
there are no other thoughts.
84
00:05:22,813 --> 00:05:24,982
"Do it," they'll say.
85
00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:26,441
"End it."
86
00:05:26,524 --> 00:05:27,525
(SWALLOWS)
87
00:05:27,651 --> 00:05:28,819
"Come on."
88
00:05:30,988 --> 00:05:34,491
You'll be assigned bunks soon.
Uniform issue is next week.
89
00:05:35,284 --> 00:05:37,494
State your correct
size on the form.
90
00:05:38,036 --> 00:05:39,579
No baggy hip-hop pants.
91
00:05:40,497 --> 00:05:42,331
Yes, I'm lookin' at you.
92
00:05:45,002 --> 00:05:49,714
Plastic toothbrush with a
razor-blade melted right into it.
93
00:05:50,465 --> 00:05:51,591
(CHUCKLES)
94
00:05:51,883 --> 00:05:53,010
(MOCK RETCHING)
95
00:05:56,429 --> 00:05:57,681
(SCOFFS)
96
00:05:58,015 --> 00:05:59,975
Yeah, probably shouldn't
have showed you that one.
97
00:06:00,809 --> 00:06:02,727
The women who made
and used these items
98
00:06:02,853 --> 00:06:05,981
are now in the SHU
or down at the max facility
99
00:06:06,064 --> 00:06:09,526
with added sentences. Their
lives are basically over.
100
00:06:10,319 --> 00:06:11,862
Hello, ladies.
101
00:06:12,570 --> 00:06:13,947
I am Natalie Figueroa.
102
00:06:14,031 --> 00:06:16,325
I am the Executive
Assistant to the warden.
103
00:06:16,407 --> 00:06:18,367
I try and visit often.
104
00:06:18,493 --> 00:06:19,995
If you have any concerns,
105
00:06:20,078 --> 00:06:22,247
specifically regarding
your needs as women,
106
00:06:22,371 --> 00:06:25,542
please come to me.
I will handle them personally.
107
00:06:27,544 --> 00:06:28,879
Yeah, she will.
108
00:06:29,004 --> 00:06:30,881
I had a question, actually.
109
00:06:31,006 --> 00:06:32,924
Today I'm only
here as a formality.
110
00:06:33,258 --> 00:06:34,383
(SIGHS)
111
00:06:37,512 --> 00:06:38,847
(SNIGGERS)
112
00:06:40,057 --> 00:06:41,099
GINA: Next.
113
00:06:43,518 --> 00:06:44,644
Next.
114
00:06:47,898 --> 00:06:48,899
Next.
115
00:06:49,024 --> 00:06:50,317
No. Wait.
116
00:06:51,776 --> 00:06:52,903
Next.
117
00:06:54,321 --> 00:06:55,322
(INMATES CHUCKLE)
118
00:06:55,404 --> 00:06:56,531
Seriously?
119
00:06:58,658 --> 00:06:59,659
Next.
120
00:07:04,039 --> 00:07:05,082
Come on.
121
00:07:09,878 --> 00:07:10,962
(CLANGING)
122
00:07:17,177 --> 00:07:20,513
WOMAN OVER PA: Dorm D, Dorm D,
laundry is ready for drop-off.
123
00:07:26,895 --> 00:07:27,938
Uh-uh.
124
00:07:28,772 --> 00:07:30,023
They're not letting me eat.
125
00:07:31,482 --> 00:07:33,235
That sounds like a whole
lot of your problem.
126
00:07:35,612 --> 00:07:37,948
We don't leave lunch
till lunch is over.
127
00:07:39,824 --> 00:07:41,868
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
128
00:08:00,804 --> 00:08:02,306
(LAUGHING)
129
00:08:10,397 --> 00:08:11,648
Mmm-hmm.
130
00:08:12,232 --> 00:08:13,483
Uh-huh.
131
00:08:15,235 --> 00:08:17,362
Come sit with us.
Not with Crazy Eyes.
132
00:08:23,660 --> 00:08:24,828
Rough morning?
133
00:08:26,037 --> 00:08:27,122
Something like that.
134
00:08:27,205 --> 00:08:28,790
We should've
warned you about Red.
135
00:08:29,333 --> 00:08:33,337
Well, I just didn't expect to be
punished while I was getting punished.
136
00:08:35,464 --> 00:08:37,048
You gotta fix that.
Make it right.
137
00:08:37,174 --> 00:08:38,175
How?
138
00:08:38,342 --> 00:08:42,179
I find it best to
confront things head-on.
139
00:08:42,804 --> 00:08:45,265
Know what?
I'm just gonna apologize.
140
00:08:45,349 --> 00:08:48,352
I'm just gonna very
sincerely apologize.
141
00:08:48,435 --> 00:08:53,523
People make mistakes. People say
stupid things all the time.
142
00:08:53,690 --> 00:08:54,732
Uh-huh.
143
00:08:56,234 --> 00:08:57,735
She's gotta
understand that, right?
144
00:09:00,030 --> 00:09:02,366
(INMATES TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
145
00:09:04,868 --> 00:09:05,869
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
146
00:09:06,036 --> 00:09:07,454
Check this shit out.
147
00:09:07,537 --> 00:09:08,538
(CHUCKLES)
148
00:09:15,504 --> 00:09:16,546
Who are you?
149
00:09:16,671 --> 00:09:18,298
Her daughter. Who are you?
150
00:09:18,423 --> 00:09:19,549
Her daughter.
151
00:09:22,093 --> 00:09:23,136
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
152
00:09:28,766 --> 00:09:31,061
What's the matter, you
don't wanna hit me again?
153
00:09:31,144 --> 00:09:33,646
From here on out, this
place will hit you for me.
154
00:09:39,027 --> 00:09:42,364
This orange thing,
it's like, I glow in the dark.
155
00:09:42,447 --> 00:09:44,408
The guard with the mustache
keeps staring at me.
156
00:09:44,533 --> 00:09:46,076
Since when do you hate that?
157
00:09:48,286 --> 00:09:49,413
(MOUTHING)
158
00:09:50,705 --> 00:09:52,040
You got any extra khakis?
159
00:09:53,041 --> 00:09:56,253
No. Well, not in your size.
160
00:09:56,378 --> 00:09:57,421
(CHUCKLES)
161
00:10:02,592 --> 00:10:06,471
And don't be in such a rush to
get out of that orange, sabes?
162
00:10:06,596 --> 00:10:09,391
Once you're in these,
you're old news.
163
00:10:14,271 --> 00:10:15,272
(KISSES)
164
00:10:15,355 --> 00:10:18,108
White girl said somethin'
nasty about Red's food,
165
00:10:18,191 --> 00:10:20,631
then Red sent her a message 'cause
white girl better recognize.
166
00:10:20,651 --> 00:10:21,611
(WHISPERS) A message?
167
00:10:21,736 --> 00:10:23,530
Egg McTampon. Rare.
168
00:10:23,613 --> 00:10:25,949
So now nobody's
givin' her nothin' to eat.
169
00:10:26,032 --> 00:10:27,451
Not until Red say so.
170
00:10:28,201 --> 00:10:29,453
That's...
171
00:10:30,661 --> 00:10:31,662
Thanks.
172
00:10:31,788 --> 00:10:33,706
This ain't gonna get
Red in trouble, right?
173
00:10:33,790 --> 00:10:34,999
'Cause I ain't no snitch.
174
00:10:35,125 --> 00:10:38,336
No. Of course not.
I mean, probably not.
175
00:10:39,588 --> 00:10:40,797
I haven't decided yet.
176
00:10:41,672 --> 00:10:42,673
Hold up.
177
00:10:43,633 --> 00:10:44,717
(GROANS)
178
00:10:45,051 --> 00:10:46,136
Where my candy?
179
00:11:04,988 --> 00:11:06,655
Get me another towel.
180
00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:20,170
Is this a bad time?
181
00:11:20,253 --> 00:11:21,254
Moment.
182
00:11:23,756 --> 00:11:24,841
(CHUCKLING)
183
00:11:30,472 --> 00:11:31,680
(SIGHS)
184
00:11:35,519 --> 00:11:37,646
About what I said yesterday?
185
00:11:37,770 --> 00:11:42,442
It was careless and it was rude.
And I am really sorry.
186
00:11:43,692 --> 00:11:46,196
I appreciate everything
that you do here,
187
00:11:46,279 --> 00:11:48,532
I can't imagine how
much work it takes,
188
00:11:48,657 --> 00:11:51,535
and since we're clearly gonna be
spending some time together...
189
00:11:51,700 --> 00:11:53,870
Don't forget the toes, Norma.
190
00:11:57,165 --> 00:12:03,838
I can tell you take pride in what
you do, and I so respect that.
191
00:12:04,422 --> 00:12:06,174
If someone insulted my work...
192
00:12:06,257 --> 00:12:08,301
What is it, your work?
193
00:12:08,468 --> 00:12:09,469
Oh.
194
00:12:09,553 --> 00:12:12,972
Um, I make artisanal bath products.
We got into Barneys.
195
00:12:14,474 --> 00:12:16,059
Artisanal?
196
00:12:16,560 --> 00:12:19,312
I'm just saying we're not that
different, you and I. That's all.
197
00:12:21,398 --> 00:12:24,484
And I understand
how stupid I've been.
198
00:12:25,860 --> 00:12:27,320
I really apologize.
199
00:12:27,404 --> 00:12:28,446
(SIGHS)
200
00:12:29,698 --> 00:12:30,865
I'm sorry.
201
00:12:32,409 --> 00:12:33,410
(TAPPING)
202
00:12:40,958 --> 00:12:42,293
You seem sweet.
203
00:12:45,422 --> 00:12:47,090
You really do, honey.
204
00:12:50,759 --> 00:12:53,555
But I can't do shit
with "I'm sorry."
205
00:12:54,472 --> 00:12:55,682
Not in here.
206
00:12:57,934 --> 00:12:59,603
Might not look like it,
207
00:12:59,977 --> 00:13:02,105
but there's rules
in this place.
208
00:13:03,064 --> 00:13:05,191
The most important of which is,
209
00:13:05,942 --> 00:13:08,819
the second you're
perceived as weak,
210
00:13:09,446 --> 00:13:11,239
you already are.
211
00:13:15,118 --> 00:13:16,661
What do you want me to do?
212
00:13:17,203 --> 00:13:18,955
You're a smart girl.
213
00:13:20,290 --> 00:13:21,541
(GRUNTS)
214
00:13:22,125 --> 00:13:23,585
(MOANING)
215
00:13:30,634 --> 00:13:32,302
Figure something out.
216
00:13:38,391 --> 00:13:40,602
That girl got some nice legs.
217
00:13:45,064 --> 00:13:46,232
What the fuck is this?
218
00:13:47,066 --> 00:13:49,319
Oh, it's my treat I'm savin'.
Just leave it.
219
00:13:50,194 --> 00:13:51,321
Leave it?
220
00:13:51,820 --> 00:13:53,072
Fuck leave it.
221
00:13:53,156 --> 00:13:55,450
You can't put your sticky
ice cream shit in here.
222
00:13:55,533 --> 00:13:58,662
It ain't just an ice cream.
It's a King Cone.
223
00:13:59,954 --> 00:14:01,038
(GASPS)
Man!
224
00:14:01,164 --> 00:14:02,165
Get off me, girl!
225
00:14:02,457 --> 00:14:04,250
(SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)
226
00:14:06,503 --> 00:14:07,712
Get this bitch off of me!
227
00:14:07,836 --> 00:14:10,298
(GRUNTING)
228
00:14:20,767 --> 00:14:22,686
B fucking took my hair out!
229
00:14:24,646 --> 00:14:26,939
MAN OVER PA:
B Dorm, Itza Martinez...
230
00:14:27,023 --> 00:14:29,275
Please tell me y'all ain't
fighting over ice cream.
231
00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:31,402
King Cone.
232
00:14:41,538 --> 00:14:43,289
(INMATE BREATHING DEEPLY)
233
00:14:44,457 --> 00:14:45,542
(SNORING)
234
00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:47,544
(NICKY HUMMING AND CHEWING)
235
00:15:01,391 --> 00:15:02,559
You okay, Chapman?
236
00:15:04,769 --> 00:15:05,895
Yeah.
237
00:15:07,230 --> 00:15:08,690
You know,
I'd give you a pretzel
238
00:15:08,773 --> 00:15:10,574
but the walls have eyes,
and I'm not retarded.
239
00:15:14,654 --> 00:15:18,908
When I first got here,
I had troubles like you.
240
00:15:20,368 --> 00:15:22,746
There was a disagreement.
241
00:15:23,996 --> 00:15:25,623
Then we brawled.
242
00:15:26,249 --> 00:15:28,543
That's how you settled things.
243
00:15:29,168 --> 00:15:30,587
And if I'd have won,
244
00:15:31,170 --> 00:15:33,715
I'd have been la jefa.
245
00:15:33,798 --> 00:15:35,425
Instead of this.
246
00:15:37,093 --> 00:15:39,679
Thank God I got cancer.
247
00:15:40,346 --> 00:15:43,015
No one fucks with cancer.
248
00:15:48,438 --> 00:15:49,939
Good talk.
249
00:15:51,941 --> 00:15:53,234
Fuck!
250
00:15:59,073 --> 00:16:00,617
(STOMACH GRUMBLING)
251
00:16:07,665 --> 00:16:08,708
(GRUNTS)
252
00:16:09,793 --> 00:16:11,669
So it's nothing but lemonade?
253
00:16:12,211 --> 00:16:13,379
It's a cleanse.
254
00:16:13,463 --> 00:16:16,466
No vegetable juice? Fiber?
255
00:16:16,633 --> 00:16:19,051
We are going to deny
ourselves sustenance
256
00:16:19,135 --> 00:16:22,597
while there are people
that starve in Kinshasa?
257
00:16:25,642 --> 00:16:27,184
It's racist to
just say "Africa."
258
00:16:28,311 --> 00:16:29,729
You put cayenne pepper in this?
259
00:16:29,813 --> 00:16:33,149
Yes! Yes.
It flushes out toxins.
260
00:16:34,317 --> 00:16:37,487
We don't smoke,
we don't snort crack.
261
00:16:39,071 --> 00:16:41,407
Honey, don't you think the little
rocks would hurt your nose
262
00:16:41,491 --> 00:16:43,117
if you tried to snort crack?
263
00:16:43,660 --> 00:16:44,661
I think you mean coke.
264
00:16:44,786 --> 00:16:46,120
You know what I mean.
265
00:16:46,203 --> 00:16:49,165
You know, you don't let me buy
food unless it's locally-grown,
266
00:16:49,290 --> 00:16:51,292
grass-fed, conflict-free...
267
00:16:51,375 --> 00:16:53,336
I'm perfectly fine
doing this on my own.
268
00:16:53,544 --> 00:16:55,624
No. No, no, no, no. Honey,
that's not what I'm saying.
269
00:16:55,672 --> 00:16:57,465
- You're making fun of it.
- No. I'm just...
270
00:16:57,548 --> 00:16:58,800
When you said cleanse,
271
00:16:58,883 --> 00:17:00,969
I thought you meant
we'd be eating more kale.
272
00:17:01,093 --> 00:17:03,805
We can eat more kale when we're
transitioning back to food.
273
00:17:03,930 --> 00:17:04,931
Okay.
274
00:17:05,556 --> 00:17:07,141
What about dinners out?
275
00:17:08,518 --> 00:17:09,727
Weekend brunches?
276
00:17:09,853 --> 00:17:12,104
(STUTTERS) I mean, isn't this gonna
turn us into anti-social losers?
277
00:17:12,313 --> 00:17:15,525
Well, it doesn't have to.
278
00:17:16,943 --> 00:17:18,027
(CHUCKLES)
279
00:17:20,488 --> 00:17:26,703
I'm not gonna be the guy that shows
up with his lemonade cuppie.
280
00:17:29,330 --> 00:17:31,708
Okay. Okay.
281
00:17:31,958 --> 00:17:35,545
For me, this is it
for the next seven days.
282
00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:40,090
If you wanna back out, I'm
not gonna love you any less.
283
00:17:40,884 --> 00:17:42,760
We did say that we were
gonna do it together.
284
00:17:42,886 --> 00:17:45,972
But if you don't
wanna be "that guy,"
285
00:17:46,055 --> 00:17:50,309
I'm perfectly happy
doing it on my own.
286
00:17:54,104 --> 00:17:55,231
(SIGHS)
287
00:17:58,150 --> 00:17:59,443
Well, where's the fun in that?
288
00:17:59,610 --> 00:18:01,696
(SQUEALS) See?
289
00:18:03,155 --> 00:18:04,198
(LARRY GRUNTS)
290
00:18:07,410 --> 00:18:08,995
Oh, God. (SIGHS)
291
00:18:09,620 --> 00:18:10,621
(BUZZING)
292
00:18:10,747 --> 00:18:12,790
OFFICER: Number four,
on the left. Next!
293
00:18:18,713 --> 00:18:19,923
(BLEEPING)
294
00:18:21,424 --> 00:18:22,884
Turn around.
295
00:18:24,427 --> 00:18:26,012
Hold it right there.
296
00:18:29,766 --> 00:18:30,767
Next!
297
00:18:30,850 --> 00:18:32,602
Oh, look, it's the fiance.
298
00:18:33,394 --> 00:18:34,520
OFFICER: Put your bag down, please.
(CHUCKLES)
299
00:18:34,604 --> 00:18:35,646
I should be on the list.
300
00:18:35,980 --> 00:18:38,608
And I should be on American Idol,
but I can't sing for shit.
301
00:18:39,108 --> 00:18:40,150
(CHUCKLES)
302
00:18:42,779 --> 00:18:44,238
No Larry Bloom here.
303
00:18:44,405 --> 00:18:45,489
What?
304
00:18:49,619 --> 00:18:50,954
Oh, this is from last week.
305
00:18:53,915 --> 00:18:55,249
Where's this week's?
306
00:18:55,332 --> 00:18:57,085
In another office.
307
00:19:13,142 --> 00:19:14,184
Have a seat.
308
00:19:14,310 --> 00:19:17,480
WOMAN OVER PA: When in the visitation
room, you're allowed two hugs,
309
00:19:17,814 --> 00:19:20,441
one on arrival,
and one on departure.
310
00:19:23,444 --> 00:19:24,487
(SIGHS)
311
00:19:35,414 --> 00:19:37,333
(ALL CLAMORING)
312
00:19:44,507 --> 00:19:46,759
Okay, try not to crowd around, ladies.
Come on, now.
313
00:19:48,177 --> 00:19:49,804
- Thank you.
- MAN OVER PA: Itza Martinez again...
314
00:19:49,887 --> 00:19:51,263
Thank you.
315
00:19:56,644 --> 00:19:57,854
Can I have some gum?
316
00:19:59,022 --> 00:20:02,566
Sorry. Can't do that. (CHUCKLES)
Inmates aren't allowed.
317
00:20:02,692 --> 00:20:04,735
I get it. You can't
give special treatment.
318
00:20:05,361 --> 00:20:07,155
It'd look funny.
Like I liked you.
319
00:20:09,365 --> 00:20:10,407
Don't you?
320
00:20:19,876 --> 00:20:21,377
Oh, my God, honey!
321
00:20:21,460 --> 00:20:22,879
- Oh, baby. Hey!
- Hi.
322
00:20:23,004 --> 00:20:24,296
- Honey. Oh!
- Hi.
323
00:20:24,421 --> 00:20:25,589
That's enough.
324
00:20:27,508 --> 00:20:28,551
Sorry. I'm so sorry I'm late.
325
00:20:28,634 --> 00:20:29,635
No. It's fine.
326
00:20:29,719 --> 00:20:30,720
I swear I was here,
327
00:20:30,845 --> 00:20:32,513
but I think they were, like,
deliberately fucking with me.
328
00:20:32,596 --> 00:20:34,682
No, whatever, it's fine.
You're here. Oh!
329
00:20:34,807 --> 00:20:35,850
You look great!
330
00:20:35,933 --> 00:20:37,018
I mean, who knew
you could rock orange?
331
00:20:37,101 --> 00:20:38,102
Please. Come on!
332
00:20:38,227 --> 00:20:39,228
Seriously,
333
00:20:39,311 --> 00:20:41,397
and your face is
like all cheekboney.
334
00:20:41,564 --> 00:20:44,817
Well, I haven't
eaten since Wednesday.
335
00:20:44,901 --> 00:20:45,902
What?
336
00:20:46,527 --> 00:20:47,695
(WHISPERS) She's
starving me out.
337
00:20:47,778 --> 00:20:48,905
Who?
338
00:20:51,365 --> 00:20:52,742
Oh, my God.
339
00:20:53,534 --> 00:20:54,535
Do you have any change?
340
00:20:55,327 --> 00:20:58,372
Oh, yeah. Yeah, I think so.
What do you want?
341
00:20:58,581 --> 00:21:01,250
Literally anything. Go.
342
00:21:12,970 --> 00:21:14,013
No.
343
00:21:14,972 --> 00:21:16,172
I don't think they work, honey.
344
00:21:16,265 --> 00:21:17,307
No.
345
00:21:19,102 --> 00:21:20,228
No! No.
(THUDS)
346
00:21:20,310 --> 00:21:23,022
Inmate, step away
from the machine.
347
00:21:23,731 --> 00:21:24,852
He just called you "inmate."
348
00:21:24,857 --> 00:21:26,650
- You too, sir.
- Sorry.
349
00:21:28,778 --> 00:21:30,113
(WHISPERING) This is her.
She did this.
350
00:21:30,196 --> 00:21:31,447
Who? Who are you
talking about?
351
00:21:31,530 --> 00:21:33,199
The woman who runs the kitchen.
352
00:21:33,282 --> 00:21:34,951
What? Why are we whispering?
353
00:21:35,910 --> 00:21:38,704
She's starving me out.
I insulted the food.
354
00:21:38,788 --> 00:21:40,123
Oh, Piper.
355
00:21:40,706 --> 00:21:42,125
Your foot in mouth disease?
356
00:21:42,208 --> 00:21:43,918
I'm an idiot.
357
00:21:44,001 --> 00:21:46,129
She's issued
a fucking fatwa against me.
358
00:21:48,714 --> 00:21:50,114
I think I'm gonna
have to fight her.
359
00:21:50,174 --> 00:21:51,175
What?
360
00:21:51,300 --> 00:21:53,552
How am I supposed to
prison-fight an old Russian lady
361
00:21:53,636 --> 00:21:55,429
with back problems?
(SOBBING)
362
00:21:55,512 --> 00:21:58,348
Hey, Piper, come on. You're not.
That's ridiculous.
363
00:21:58,474 --> 00:22:02,270
You don't have to fight anybody. Okay?
Hey, hey, hey, stop. Stop.
364
00:22:02,394 --> 00:22:03,479
GUARD: No touching.
365
00:22:03,646 --> 00:22:04,814
(PIPER SIGHING)
Jesus.
366
00:22:05,773 --> 00:22:07,775
- It's gonna be okay.
- Mmm.
367
00:22:08,151 --> 00:22:09,152
- All right?
- Uh-uh.
368
00:22:09,318 --> 00:22:10,798
Your commissary
money's coming, right?
369
00:22:10,861 --> 00:22:13,572
I sent the check
the minute I left here.
370
00:22:13,656 --> 00:22:14,698
Express mail.
371
00:22:15,116 --> 00:22:16,796
Even if you have to
live off Snickers bars,
372
00:22:16,826 --> 00:22:18,326
it's gonna be okay.
373
00:22:25,084 --> 00:22:26,752
I hate that you're
seeing me like this.
374
00:22:27,670 --> 00:22:28,879
At least I get to see you.
375
00:22:32,508 --> 00:22:34,260
Tell me that you're
not watching Mad Men.
376
00:22:34,342 --> 00:22:35,343
What?
377
00:22:35,803 --> 00:22:37,972
Promise me you're not
watching Mad Men without me,
378
00:22:38,055 --> 00:22:41,433
that when I get out of here, we're
gonna binge watch it, together,
379
00:22:41,517 --> 00:22:43,686
in bed, with take-out from...
380
00:22:43,769 --> 00:22:45,021
Gertie's? (LAUGHS)
381
00:22:45,146 --> 00:22:46,396
Yes. Yes.
382
00:22:46,522 --> 00:22:48,482
Yes. Of course. 100%.
383
00:22:48,858 --> 00:22:49,984
(BUZZING)
384
00:22:50,358 --> 00:22:52,903
GUARD: Visiting hours
have come to a close.
385
00:22:53,029 --> 00:22:55,572
Jesus. Really?
That was like two minutes.
386
00:22:55,698 --> 00:22:57,867
Visitors, please make
your way to the exit.
387
00:22:58,201 --> 00:22:59,202
We can hug again.
388
00:22:59,327 --> 00:23:00,368
What?
389
00:23:00,494 --> 00:23:01,787
Once coming in, once going out.
390
00:23:02,163 --> 00:23:03,331
Come here.
391
00:23:04,623 --> 00:23:05,708
Oh!
392
00:23:07,335 --> 00:23:08,418
I love you, babe.
393
00:23:15,092 --> 00:23:16,260
(BUZZER SOUNDS)
394
00:23:48,209 --> 00:23:49,377
Sorry.
395
00:24:00,930 --> 00:24:02,181
(WHISPERS) Red?
396
00:24:03,391 --> 00:24:04,432
Red?
397
00:24:09,063 --> 00:24:10,064
What is it?
398
00:24:11,732 --> 00:24:12,983
Betty's dead.
399
00:24:16,528 --> 00:24:17,738
(SIGHS)
400
00:24:19,365 --> 00:24:21,200
RED: She was a good girl.
401
00:24:21,284 --> 00:24:22,785
GINA: No one heard her go.
402
00:24:23,451 --> 00:24:24,912
LUSCHEK: Get over it.
It's a freezer.
403
00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:29,457
See, what happened here was a
breach in the main coolant line.
404
00:24:29,625 --> 00:24:31,127
Big, nasty breach.
405
00:24:31,459 --> 00:24:33,129
Ugly breach.
Bad, bad breach.
406
00:24:33,254 --> 00:24:34,713
What's that smell?
407
00:24:35,298 --> 00:24:36,382
That's the Freon.
408
00:24:37,049 --> 00:24:38,842
Some people use it for huffing.
409
00:24:39,260 --> 00:24:41,345
Makes for a super intense,
but short-lived high.
410
00:24:41,469 --> 00:24:44,974
Similar to crack, uh,
but without the migraines.
411
00:24:47,643 --> 00:24:50,396
Put those in ice water.
Don't stack those, Gina.
412
00:24:51,647 --> 00:24:52,815
NICKY: Nice pussy.
413
00:24:53,023 --> 00:24:54,066
Don't ask.
414
00:24:54,150 --> 00:24:55,818
I don't intend to.
415
00:24:56,026 --> 00:24:57,827
Thanksgiving's coming twice
this year, ladies.
416
00:24:57,945 --> 00:24:59,529
Spread the word.
417
00:25:01,282 --> 00:25:04,243
Okay, I understand
what you have to do.
418
00:25:04,327 --> 00:25:05,619
What?
419
00:25:05,744 --> 00:25:07,204
I'm not a fighter.
420
00:25:07,913 --> 00:25:08,956
Go ahead.
421
00:25:09,039 --> 00:25:10,416
I'm a little busy here.
Pick up those rags.
422
00:25:10,498 --> 00:25:11,658
I'm not going to swing first.
423
00:25:11,667 --> 00:25:12,709
Good.
424
00:25:12,835 --> 00:25:14,170
Just hit me and
get it over with.
425
00:25:14,295 --> 00:25:15,587
I said I'm a little busy.
426
00:25:15,671 --> 00:25:17,047
I'm not leaving
until you do it.
427
00:25:18,007 --> 00:25:19,675
(GRUNTS) Wow.
428
00:25:21,010 --> 00:25:22,345
You want me to hit you?
429
00:25:22,470 --> 00:25:23,679
Yeah.
430
00:25:23,762 --> 00:25:25,513
Okay, get ready.
431
00:25:29,185 --> 00:25:32,104
You called my food disgusting.
432
00:25:36,275 --> 00:25:40,612
You're not getting hazed,
you're not getting harassed,
433
00:25:42,656 --> 00:25:44,116
you're getting starved.
434
00:25:45,451 --> 00:25:46,952
To death.
435
00:25:47,036 --> 00:25:51,040
You'll leave Litchfield
as a skeleton in a body bag.
436
00:25:51,874 --> 00:25:52,916
Pow!
437
00:25:53,917 --> 00:25:57,213
Now, march your yuppie ass
outta my kitchen.
438
00:26:01,967 --> 00:26:05,221
Slowly, so you don't burn
too many calories.
439
00:26:08,391 --> 00:26:11,143
So the third time,
same thing happens.
440
00:26:11,227 --> 00:26:13,979
And the farmer looks at his
wife, then back at the penguin,
441
00:26:14,063 --> 00:26:16,982
and finally the penguin goes,
(CHUCKLES)
442
00:26:19,402 --> 00:26:23,739
"He's not an eggplant, man.
He's retarded."
443
00:26:23,822 --> 00:26:25,366
(LAUGHING)
444
00:26:27,117 --> 00:26:28,411
You get it? 'Cause he...
445
00:26:28,576 --> 00:26:29,577
We get it.
446
00:26:31,621 --> 00:26:34,124
My brother was retarded.
447
00:26:34,666 --> 00:26:36,085
Oh, so sorry to hear that.
448
00:26:38,462 --> 00:26:40,089
You know, my husband's
a little slow.
449
00:26:40,923 --> 00:26:42,383
Says he was dropped on his head
450
00:26:42,466 --> 00:26:44,427
when he was born.
Just my luck.
451
00:26:44,552 --> 00:26:47,388
They couldn't have dropped
him on his dick? (CHUCKLES)
452
00:26:47,846 --> 00:26:49,890
I think I slept
wrong last night.
453
00:26:49,973 --> 00:26:51,975
Should we call it
a short walk today, ladies?
454
00:26:52,101 --> 00:26:53,102
Yes.
455
00:26:53,185 --> 00:26:54,345
Oh, you barely broke a sweat.
456
00:26:54,770 --> 00:26:56,604
Oh, my son has
dentist appointment.
457
00:26:56,688 --> 00:26:57,773
Oh, okay.
458
00:26:57,898 --> 00:26:59,108
We're close to your house, no?
459
00:26:59,233 --> 00:27:00,359
Yeah. Right over there.
460
00:27:01,110 --> 00:27:02,319
Same time tomorrow?
461
00:27:02,445 --> 00:27:03,862
We'll let you know.
462
00:27:15,416 --> 00:27:16,542
Oh, shit!
463
00:27:18,919 --> 00:27:20,337
Did no one think
to turn this off?
464
00:27:25,259 --> 00:27:27,803
(WOMAN TALKING
INDISTINCTLY OVER PA)
465
00:27:31,639 --> 00:27:32,724
Where is his highness?
466
00:27:35,394 --> 00:27:36,437
You're out of bounds.
467
00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:38,230
- Healy?
- Sir, I told her not to...
468
00:27:38,314 --> 00:27:40,149
Jesus Christ!
(FLUSHING)
469
00:27:40,357 --> 00:27:41,649
I need a new freezer.
470
00:27:42,318 --> 00:27:44,069
We can talk about
this later, Red.
471
00:27:44,153 --> 00:27:46,405
You have been saying
that for three years.
472
00:27:47,156 --> 00:27:49,317
We're dealing with a very
serious budget situation here.
473
00:27:49,950 --> 00:27:51,118
Should I subdue the inmate?
474
00:27:51,201 --> 00:27:55,372
The warden has been very clear
about spending this quarter.
475
00:27:56,332 --> 00:27:59,418
You want me to walk?
I'll walk, happily.
476
00:28:00,836 --> 00:28:03,671
Remember the last time I gave
back the keys to the kitchen?
477
00:28:04,756 --> 00:28:05,966
I'll see what I can do.
478
00:28:07,259 --> 00:28:08,594
Thank you.
479
00:28:12,181 --> 00:28:15,225
Ugh, like a dying animal
it smells in there.
480
00:28:15,351 --> 00:28:18,020
A dying animal, or just a
man who eats your food?
481
00:28:20,022 --> 00:28:21,482
Ugh with you, too.
482
00:28:23,691 --> 00:28:27,446
That smells fantastic.
It's like fresh muffins.
483
00:28:27,530 --> 00:28:28,989
Dried blueberries.
484
00:28:29,114 --> 00:28:30,907
Twelve fuckin' pounds of 'em.
485
00:28:31,283 --> 00:28:34,537
Funnest hobby ever.
You seen my headphones?
486
00:28:34,662 --> 00:28:35,663
Uh, left drawer.
487
00:28:35,829 --> 00:28:37,109
So you can put
anything in there?
488
00:28:37,164 --> 00:28:38,207
Just about.
489
00:28:38,374 --> 00:28:41,751
Peppermint, basil,
grapefruits, vanilla.
490
00:28:41,877 --> 00:28:42,836
She won't do chocolate.
491
00:28:42,919 --> 00:28:44,880
- It never works.
- Or popcorn.
492
00:28:44,963 --> 00:28:46,840
We're making soap,
not Jelly Bellys.
493
00:28:46,923 --> 00:28:48,091
Sweet.
494
00:28:48,925 --> 00:28:50,365
You know, for Amy,
I think you'd want
495
00:28:50,386 --> 00:28:51,720
something more along the lines
496
00:28:51,845 --> 00:28:55,474
of sage, patchouli,
maybe eucalyptus?
497
00:28:55,849 --> 00:28:57,767
Oh, she's allergic
to eucalyptus,
498
00:28:57,893 --> 00:28:59,769
or she hates it.
I can't remember.
499
00:28:59,895 --> 00:29:01,055
Really? Who hates eucalyptus?
500
00:29:01,063 --> 00:29:03,857
Larry's mother. She thinks
they're "dirty trees."
501
00:29:04,066 --> 00:29:05,147
You're still with that guy?
502
00:29:05,693 --> 00:29:06,860
Thought you wouldn't
make it two months.
503
00:29:06,943 --> 00:29:08,862
- Pete!
- What? You said so, too.
504
00:29:10,614 --> 00:29:11,907
They're moving in together.
505
00:29:11,990 --> 00:29:15,703
Already? Shit.
You are still a lesbian.
506
00:29:18,747 --> 00:29:19,998
- I'm out, ladies.
- Okay.
507
00:29:23,711 --> 00:29:25,713
You could sell these, you know.
(DOOR CLOSES)
508
00:29:27,130 --> 00:29:30,426
At farmers markets,
little boutique stores.
509
00:29:30,634 --> 00:29:32,010
I just kinda like making 'em.
510
00:29:33,345 --> 00:29:34,597
I could be your partner.
511
00:29:35,264 --> 00:29:36,265
What?
512
00:29:37,807 --> 00:29:39,685
This could be something.
513
00:29:39,768 --> 00:29:41,520
I mean, this could
be a thing, Pol.
514
00:29:42,688 --> 00:29:45,733
Market it right and package
it right, this is money.
515
00:29:45,899 --> 00:29:49,612
I mean, it smells
so fucking good in here.
516
00:29:50,446 --> 00:29:51,947
I can make this money.
517
00:29:52,531 --> 00:29:54,283
(WHISPERS)
I make lotions, too.
518
00:29:58,161 --> 00:30:00,205
Yo, y'all got headphones
for movie night?
519
00:30:00,289 --> 00:30:02,040
Sold the last pair
this morning.
520
00:30:02,124 --> 00:30:05,544
That's some bullshit. I ain't
tryin' to watch no silent movie.
521
00:30:05,794 --> 00:30:07,254
Sold out. Next.
522
00:30:07,630 --> 00:30:11,425
Spanish ladies are calling you
La Llorona, the wailing lady.
523
00:30:12,760 --> 00:30:14,094
Well, they would've
screamed just as loud
524
00:30:14,177 --> 00:30:16,012
if someone handed them
a used tampon sandwich.
525
00:30:16,138 --> 00:30:17,389
(SIGHS) Oh, yeah.
526
00:30:17,973 --> 00:30:20,476
Or if they suddenly saw
an ex-girlfriend in prison.
527
00:30:20,601 --> 00:30:21,685
Hey, what's her name? Alex?
528
00:30:23,895 --> 00:30:24,980
What did she say to you?
529
00:30:25,147 --> 00:30:27,941
Not a word. I just know
dyke drama when I see it.
530
00:30:29,859 --> 00:30:31,153
CHANG: You gonna
buy something or not?
531
00:30:31,278 --> 00:30:34,490
Yes. Hi, um, I should
have some credit here.
532
00:30:34,615 --> 00:30:37,826
My fiance sent
a check on Wednesday.
533
00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:40,203
Take seven day to process.
534
00:30:40,412 --> 00:30:42,492
You can use mine. It's not
like you're going anywhere.
535
00:30:42,539 --> 00:30:43,499
For food?
536
00:30:43,624 --> 00:30:44,625
Fuck no.
537
00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:46,042
Okay.
538
00:30:46,209 --> 00:30:47,336
Yo, Chang.
539
00:30:47,711 --> 00:30:48,712
(NICKY CLEARS THROAT)
540
00:30:48,837 --> 00:30:50,213
So, some rubber gloves.
541
00:30:52,257 --> 00:30:53,925
Okay, so maybe
some cocoa butter?
542
00:30:54,009 --> 00:30:55,051
Uh, cocoa butter?
543
00:30:56,094 --> 00:30:59,515
Maybe like a sieve of
some kind. A strainer?
544
00:30:59,723 --> 00:31:02,643
Okay. All right.
Yo, you got a strainer?
545
00:31:09,692 --> 00:31:12,486
This is a cup.
Knock yourself out.
546
00:31:13,903 --> 00:31:15,781
You know how often
I come by new weave?
547
00:31:15,864 --> 00:31:17,533
You probably gonna look
like this till Christmas.
548
00:31:17,616 --> 00:31:20,661
Uh-uh. I paid you seven bottles
of Pantene for this shit.
549
00:31:20,744 --> 00:31:23,622
Ain't my fault you went
all UFC over a King Cone.
550
00:31:23,831 --> 00:31:25,666
And if you call it
"shit" one more time,
551
00:31:25,833 --> 00:31:27,710
you can take your
ass down to Danita.
552
00:31:28,377 --> 00:31:29,586
How much to fix it?
553
00:31:29,795 --> 00:31:31,087
- Mmm-hmm.
- PIPER: Excuse me?
554
00:31:32,088 --> 00:31:34,883
Hi. I'm Chapman.
555
00:31:37,927 --> 00:31:40,013
Yeah, that's me. Um...
556
00:31:40,639 --> 00:31:43,183
I heard you might have
something that I need.
557
00:31:43,308 --> 00:31:45,268
J. Crew is around the corner.
558
00:31:45,435 --> 00:31:46,729
(SOPHIA AND PIPER CHUCKLE)
559
00:31:46,812 --> 00:31:48,355
Yeah. Um...
560
00:31:49,147 --> 00:31:54,737
Cocoa butter, or shea butter?
Do you have either of those?
561
00:31:54,862 --> 00:31:56,279
Maybe.
562
00:31:56,405 --> 00:31:58,323
I would just need
an ounce or two.
563
00:31:58,907 --> 00:32:00,427
Ain't you the one
they're starving out?
564
00:32:01,660 --> 00:32:02,661
Yeah.
565
00:32:02,870 --> 00:32:05,581
(SCOFFS) You got some
fucked-up priorities.
566
00:32:05,706 --> 00:32:06,998
We work on
a barter system here.
567
00:32:07,082 --> 00:32:08,333
You know what
that means, right?
568
00:32:08,417 --> 00:32:09,418
Yes.
569
00:32:09,543 --> 00:32:12,254
Three shower caps
or a round brush.
570
00:32:12,379 --> 00:32:13,659
Whichever they
got at commissary.
571
00:32:14,256 --> 00:32:17,551
Gladly. I will get them to you the
second that my money comes in.
572
00:32:17,801 --> 00:32:18,844
(LAUGHS)
573
00:32:19,928 --> 00:32:21,179
Credit declined.
574
00:32:21,722 --> 00:32:22,723
Please.
575
00:32:24,057 --> 00:32:26,184
"Please" is for commissary
hoes and Oliver Twist.
576
00:32:28,019 --> 00:32:29,772
Hold up. Some of us
tryin' to work here.
577
00:32:29,855 --> 00:32:30,856
I got an idea.
578
00:32:32,482 --> 00:32:33,776
But you ain't gonna like it.
579
00:32:36,278 --> 00:32:37,571
(SHRIEKS)
580
00:32:40,323 --> 00:32:42,284
Got that new 'do, Boo.
(LAUGHS)
581
00:32:55,798 --> 00:32:57,883
(PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
582
00:32:58,884 --> 00:33:00,469
Chapman's going around
asking for weird stuff, Red.
583
00:33:00,594 --> 00:33:01,637
What stuff?
584
00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:03,639
She's trying to get her
hands on hot peppers.
585
00:33:03,722 --> 00:33:04,932
You think she's gonna mace you?
586
00:33:05,014 --> 00:33:06,809
I don't think so.
587
00:33:06,892 --> 00:33:10,353
But if she does, worst case,
I'll get off my feet for a week.
588
00:33:10,479 --> 00:33:11,980
No, but it wouldn't
hurt your feet.
589
00:33:12,063 --> 00:33:14,023
- It's an expression.
- Mace burns your eyes.
590
00:33:14,149 --> 00:33:16,025
(CHUCKLING) Jesus, God.
591
00:33:19,070 --> 00:33:20,113
Oh.
592
00:33:25,786 --> 00:33:27,078
You okay, Chapman?
593
00:33:30,332 --> 00:33:31,834
WOMAN OVER PA:
Tonight's movie will be
594
00:33:31,959 --> 00:33:34,210
the airplane edit
of Good Luck Chuck,
595
00:33:34,336 --> 00:33:37,881
which Roger Ebert
gives one star. 8:00 p.m.
596
00:33:37,965 --> 00:33:39,090
Are you the new girl?
597
00:33:40,843 --> 00:33:44,387
Yes, I am. Piper.
598
00:33:47,599 --> 00:33:49,351
And you are?
599
00:33:49,434 --> 00:33:54,063
Uh, Sue. It's short for Susie,
which is short for Suzanne.
600
00:33:54,356 --> 00:33:55,899
(CHUCKLES) You
like spicy food?
601
00:33:59,194 --> 00:34:00,236
Sometimes.
602
00:34:00,362 --> 00:34:02,823
One of my girlfriends,
she was Mexican, real-talk.
603
00:34:03,740 --> 00:34:04,741
Uh...
604
00:34:04,867 --> 00:34:06,368
She gone now,
605
00:34:07,703 --> 00:34:09,663
but she left these.
606
00:34:16,336 --> 00:34:17,816
I have nothing to
trade you for those.
607
00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:20,716
People forget we was
all new here once.
608
00:34:23,552 --> 00:34:25,136
It's good to know
you ain't alone.
609
00:34:40,068 --> 00:34:41,611
LARRY: This feels awesome!
610
00:34:42,779 --> 00:34:45,198
My senses feel heightened,
I'm like a fucking werewolf.
611
00:34:45,281 --> 00:34:46,324
Larry?
612
00:34:46,449 --> 00:34:49,327
My skin is clear,
I'm lighter on my feet,
613
00:34:49,411 --> 00:34:50,579
and in the bathroom
this morning...
614
00:34:50,704 --> 00:34:51,663
Oh, please.
615
00:34:51,747 --> 00:34:55,417
Epic. Even better than yesterday.
Lord of the Rings. (CHUCKLES)
616
00:34:59,421 --> 00:35:04,801
What if we only did
this for five days?
617
00:35:07,888 --> 00:35:09,222
You wanna cut it short?
618
00:35:09,932 --> 00:35:11,934
Not cut it short. Just...
619
00:35:13,977 --> 00:35:15,103
Yes.
620
00:35:17,564 --> 00:35:19,315
This was your idea.
621
00:35:19,441 --> 00:35:21,777
Can we not make it a thing? This
doesn't have to be a thing.
622
00:35:21,902 --> 00:35:23,152
It's not a competition.
623
00:35:23,278 --> 00:35:25,030
I mean, you can't win
the Master Cleanse.
624
00:35:25,363 --> 00:35:26,615
Can't I?
625
00:35:27,866 --> 00:35:30,911
Here, drink up, love.
626
00:35:31,327 --> 00:35:32,704
All right?
627
00:35:33,121 --> 00:35:34,122
You'll feel better.
628
00:35:36,792 --> 00:35:38,126
(SNIFFING)
629
00:35:42,422 --> 00:35:43,465
What is that?
630
00:35:43,590 --> 00:35:45,133
You are not a werewolf.
631
00:35:45,216 --> 00:35:46,635
(SNIFFS) Oh.
632
00:35:47,719 --> 00:35:48,929
What are you doing?
633
00:35:49,679 --> 00:35:51,723
You fucker. Seriously?
634
00:35:52,682 --> 00:35:54,017
It was all that we had.
635
00:35:54,142 --> 00:35:56,686
Mr. Fox's Honey
Barbecue Pork Rinds?
636
00:35:56,812 --> 00:35:57,854
They're baked.
637
00:35:58,021 --> 00:36:00,107
Piper, we were
in this together.
638
00:36:00,189 --> 00:36:02,692
I know, I'm sorry.
639
00:36:04,111 --> 00:36:05,862
Oh, God.
640
00:36:07,072 --> 00:36:08,115
(SIGHS)
641
00:36:09,157 --> 00:36:10,533
You smell so good.
642
00:36:12,619 --> 00:36:15,163
Oh, my God. Come here.
643
00:36:16,331 --> 00:36:17,666
(CHUCKLING)
644
00:36:25,674 --> 00:36:26,883
I totally win.
645
00:36:27,009 --> 00:36:29,260
(CHUCKLING)
646
00:36:30,720 --> 00:36:36,101
WOMAN OVER PA: Two, nine and
seventeen, dinner is now available.
647
00:36:39,437 --> 00:36:40,480
Aw.
(SNIFFLES)
648
00:36:40,981 --> 00:36:43,025
Don't be so sad.
649
00:36:43,150 --> 00:36:45,110
Poor little baby.
650
00:36:47,654 --> 00:36:50,198
Dinner's in five.
I hear it's a big one.
651
00:36:50,323 --> 00:36:51,616
Yum, yum.
652
00:36:54,369 --> 00:36:55,912
(CHOMPING)
653
00:37:25,901 --> 00:37:27,152
(SOBBING)
654
00:37:29,445 --> 00:37:31,364
TAYSTEE:
Thank you, dead bitch.
655
00:37:31,447 --> 00:37:32,847
WOMAN OVER PA:
Don't forget, ladies,
656
00:37:32,866 --> 00:37:34,784
your usual meal
is 1,500 calories.
657
00:37:34,910 --> 00:37:36,203
Ain't nobody got this.
658
00:37:36,327 --> 00:37:37,662
- Beware of overeating.
- It's that hotness.
659
00:37:37,787 --> 00:37:39,164
That new shit.
660
00:37:39,247 --> 00:37:41,917
My hair is yellow as that
corn right there, girl.
661
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:43,085
(ALL LAUGHING)
662
00:37:45,294 --> 00:37:46,295
No, no, no.
Look, I love these things.
663
00:37:46,421 --> 00:37:47,422
I want extra.
664
00:37:47,505 --> 00:37:49,007
Yeah, can I get some more corn?
665
00:37:49,091 --> 00:37:50,383
GINA: No.
666
00:39:22,934 --> 00:39:26,104
Navi. Amy.
667
00:39:30,608 --> 00:39:32,527
Forgot I even had this.
668
00:39:33,611 --> 00:39:35,947
Oh, no thanks, love,
I'm too old for hooch.
669
00:39:36,031 --> 00:39:39,367
Don't insult me.
Single malt. 12 year.
670
00:39:44,873 --> 00:39:47,083
(EXCLAIMS) Jesus Christ!
671
00:39:47,209 --> 00:39:50,837
And that was in '04.
It's only gotten better.
672
00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:52,297
So have we.
673
00:39:52,380 --> 00:39:53,840
Tell my ass.
674
00:40:50,605 --> 00:40:51,981
Oh, no.
675
00:40:52,982 --> 00:40:54,025
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
676
00:40:54,150 --> 00:40:55,777
It's the one without culture.
677
00:40:57,445 --> 00:40:58,487
Red.
678
00:40:58,613 --> 00:41:02,242
And the penguin goes, "He's not
an eggplant, he's retarded."
679
00:41:02,325 --> 00:41:03,701
It's fucking funny.
680
00:41:03,993 --> 00:41:04,953
It's just not.
681
00:41:05,078 --> 00:41:06,037
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
682
00:41:06,121 --> 00:41:07,538
That awful dye job...
683
00:41:07,622 --> 00:41:09,332
on your head make
me giggle though.
684
00:41:09,457 --> 00:41:10,458
(LAUGHS)
You...
685
00:41:10,959 --> 00:41:12,001
Aah!
686
00:41:13,211 --> 00:41:14,421
(GASPS)
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
687
00:41:14,503 --> 00:41:16,965
You popped her tit!
688
00:41:17,090 --> 00:41:18,507
Oh, shit.
689
00:41:19,259 --> 00:41:23,263
What the fuck were you thinking?
After all Ganya's done for us.
690
00:41:23,846 --> 00:41:25,140
He loved those tits.
691
00:41:25,265 --> 00:41:27,475
He'll get them back. There's plenty
more of them at the tit store.
692
00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:30,478
Did you count to 10? You're
supposed to count to 10.
693
00:41:30,686 --> 00:41:32,647
I never even wanted to
speak to those pizdy!
694
00:41:32,730 --> 00:41:33,856
You made me.
695
00:41:34,149 --> 00:41:35,650
Why did you do such a thing?
696
00:41:35,775 --> 00:41:39,487
Because they left me out!
Because they made fun of me!
697
00:41:39,570 --> 00:41:43,074
Because no matter how hard you
try and how much we want it,
698
00:41:43,158 --> 00:41:44,784
there's the people
who serve the bread,
699
00:41:44,867 --> 00:41:46,411
and the people
who eat the bread!
700
00:41:46,494 --> 00:41:50,832
And for once, it would be nice
if you would be on my side.
701
00:41:57,755 --> 00:41:58,798
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
702
00:41:58,923 --> 00:42:01,634
___
703
00:42:02,051 --> 00:42:03,345
___
704
00:42:03,678 --> 00:42:09,517
___
705
00:42:10,352 --> 00:42:11,519
How bad?
706
00:42:13,688 --> 00:42:16,065
They want $60,000.
707
00:42:17,233 --> 00:42:20,403
No boob job costs $60,000.
708
00:42:20,528 --> 00:42:21,863
It's crazy.
709
00:42:21,946 --> 00:42:23,281
This one does.
710
00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:28,911
(SOBBING) I was...
I was just...
711
00:42:30,788 --> 00:42:32,415
They're so mean.
712
00:42:32,832 --> 00:42:34,250
So are the men they married.
713
00:42:34,376 --> 00:42:35,710
(DISTANT SIREN WAILING)
714
00:42:35,835 --> 00:42:37,253
They meaner.
715
00:42:40,298 --> 00:42:42,091
I'm sorry, Dima.
716
00:42:47,138 --> 00:42:49,557
We'll figure out something.
717
00:42:51,184 --> 00:42:52,477
We always do.
718
00:42:55,271 --> 00:42:56,439
It's okay.
719
00:42:56,689 --> 00:42:58,649
(INMATES TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
720
00:43:04,822 --> 00:43:05,907
Red?
721
00:43:06,782 --> 00:43:07,825
She's busy.
722
00:43:07,950 --> 00:43:09,452
This'll only take a second.
723
00:43:14,874 --> 00:43:16,418
For your back.
724
00:43:16,751 --> 00:43:18,461
It's jalapeno rub.
725
00:43:18,753 --> 00:43:19,962
I made it myself.
726
00:43:22,924 --> 00:43:24,384
The capsaicin in the peppers
727
00:43:24,467 --> 00:43:26,187
creates heat which is good
for sore muscles,
728
00:43:26,261 --> 00:43:28,930
and the cocoa butter
is gentle on the skin.
729
00:43:31,682 --> 00:43:35,270
We have a similar product in our
line and my dad swears by it.
730
00:43:35,395 --> 00:43:36,604
He's got sciatica.
731
00:43:36,729 --> 00:43:38,689
These are wrong.
They should say "March."
732
00:43:41,025 --> 00:43:42,193
You can go now.
733
00:43:47,282 --> 00:43:50,326
OFFICER: Count time
starts now. Count time!
734
00:43:50,452 --> 00:43:51,953
(BUZZER SOUNDS)
735
00:44:04,173 --> 00:44:05,383
Line it up. Stop the chatter.
736
00:44:11,514 --> 00:44:12,807
Count time!
737
00:44:17,061 --> 00:44:18,271
(CLICKING)
738
00:44:18,354 --> 00:44:19,647
Dorm A, one through 20.
739
00:44:33,286 --> 00:44:34,726
GUARD: Get that
garbage out of there.
740
00:44:39,375 --> 00:44:41,503
All good. Thank you, ladies.
741
00:44:49,511 --> 00:44:50,677
All good.
742
00:45:15,578 --> 00:45:18,581
COMMENTATOR ON TV: Wilson into left field.
Beautiful hit.
743
00:45:19,332 --> 00:45:21,750
...eludes one tackler.
And he's brought down hard.
744
00:45:21,876 --> 00:45:23,670
"One imagines
somewhere in an attic
745
00:45:23,878 --> 00:45:26,339
"there's a painting of him
that's rapidly aging."
746
00:45:26,422 --> 00:45:28,257
For a guy from Ad Age,
he can really write.
747
00:45:28,424 --> 00:45:30,092
ROGER: He also says
you're married.
748
00:45:30,301 --> 00:45:34,222
DON: Jesus. He never asked me that.
Did he check any facts?
749
00:45:34,347 --> 00:45:36,057
ROGER: You didn't
give him any facts.
750
00:45:36,182 --> 00:45:37,892
He had to make
some assumptions.
751
00:45:38,059 --> 00:45:42,021
My job is to write ads, not go
around talking about who I am.
752
00:45:42,146 --> 00:45:43,231
Who knows who you are?
753
00:45:43,314 --> 00:45:46,234
This was supposed to be
an advertisement for the firm.
754
00:45:46,359 --> 00:45:47,569
DON: Why do you
have so many copies?
755
00:45:47,652 --> 00:45:48,819
ROGER: I bought one to read.
756
00:45:48,903 --> 00:45:50,823
And I was going to buy one
to frame in reception.
757
00:45:51,738 --> 00:45:53,908
CAPUTO: That new freezer
cost more than my car.
758
00:45:54,158 --> 00:45:56,160
Freon leak, huh?
759
00:45:56,244 --> 00:45:57,453
Most likely.
760
00:45:57,579 --> 00:46:01,416
You know, huffers, addicts.
Anything to get high.
761
00:46:02,667 --> 00:46:05,253
Anyone in here
huff that much Freon,
762
00:46:05,336 --> 00:46:07,922
we'd have a body
to show for it.
763
00:46:11,718 --> 00:46:14,887
Even you gotta know
when you're gettin' played.
764
00:46:16,055 --> 00:46:19,058
WOMAN OVER PA: Catholic, Buddhist,
Jewish and Muslim services
765
00:46:19,141 --> 00:46:22,103
will begin tomorrow
in the chapel at 9:00 a.m.
766
00:46:27,567 --> 00:46:29,776
(INMATES TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
767
00:46:37,243 --> 00:46:38,953
They said to give you this.
768
00:46:41,497 --> 00:46:45,460
Oh, God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, it worked?
769
00:46:45,585 --> 00:46:47,712
It must've worked.
770
00:46:47,794 --> 00:46:49,756
- Your back cream?
- Yeah.
771
00:46:49,838 --> 00:46:52,091
She said it burned, it made her
smell like a Puerto Rican,
772
00:46:52,174 --> 00:46:53,259
but you're good now.
773
00:46:53,342 --> 00:46:56,304
Everyone saw how hard you worked.
"A" for Effort.
774
00:46:57,388 --> 00:46:58,514
(CHUCKLES)
775
00:46:58,640 --> 00:46:59,682
Mmm.
776
00:47:01,850 --> 00:47:04,019
(CHUCKLES) It's not that good.
777
00:47:04,145 --> 00:47:05,396
Mmm-hmm.
778
00:47:09,651 --> 00:47:11,486
GINA: Next.
INMATE: Thank you.
779
00:47:21,996 --> 00:47:23,247
Next.
780
00:47:24,915 --> 00:47:26,000
What?
781
00:47:27,042 --> 00:47:28,169
Next.
782
00:47:39,806 --> 00:47:41,223
(DOOR OPENS)
783
00:47:42,433 --> 00:47:43,601
Hello?
784
00:47:58,282 --> 00:47:59,283
Put that in.
785
00:48:03,412 --> 00:48:04,455
(BOTH SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
786
00:48:04,580 --> 00:48:05,790
___
787
00:48:06,415 --> 00:48:07,583
___
788
00:48:08,584 --> 00:48:10,030
It's fine.
789
00:48:11,796 --> 00:48:13,595
This will make things
right for us.
790
00:48:13,715 --> 00:48:15,216
This doesn't feel right.
791
00:48:15,550 --> 00:48:16,801
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
792
00:48:18,803 --> 00:48:20,847
We're fine.
We'll work it out.
793
00:48:20,929 --> 00:48:21,930
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
794
00:48:22,056 --> 00:48:23,182
I promise.
795
00:48:32,734 --> 00:48:34,276
(ALL LAUGHING)
796
00:48:53,796 --> 00:48:55,130
Sorry.
797
00:49:51,896 --> 00:49:53,564
MAN ON TV: Have you
considered the possibility
798
00:49:53,648 --> 00:49:55,399
the reason you haven't been
laid in the last decade
799
00:49:55,483 --> 00:49:57,485
has something to do with your
routine use of the word "Trim"?
800
00:49:57,652 --> 00:50:01,656
Yeah, seven days a week,
56 weeks a year, "Trim!"
801
00:50:03,282 --> 00:50:04,283
That's my bad.
802
00:50:04,951 --> 00:50:06,823
Where's your manners, shithead?
803
00:50:23,344 --> 00:50:25,179
(PEPPY SONG PLAYING)
804
00:50:29,214 --> 00:50:39,518
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com