1
00:00:06,556 --> 00:00:08,557
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
2
00:00:55,272 --> 00:00:56,565
(GATE BANGS)
3
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Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
4
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(GATE CLOSING)
5
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(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
6
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So I say to this guy...
7
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"Save your schooner for
someone else, yes?"
8
00:01:24,509 --> 00:01:28,179
I come here to buy a boat, not
become some goddamn pirate.
9
00:01:32,809 --> 00:01:33,810
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
10
00:01:33,935 --> 00:01:35,686
You should go talk to them.
11
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Please don't drop that.
12
00:01:40,024 --> 00:01:42,152
Get out there. Shake hands.
13
00:01:44,237 --> 00:01:45,238
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
14
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Are you listening to me?
15
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It's important that we
make this connection.
16
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(TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
17
00:01:51,828 --> 00:01:54,205
These are very
important people.
18
00:01:55,499 --> 00:01:57,375
(TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
19
00:02:06,343 --> 00:02:07,594
Go meet his wife.
20
00:02:08,011 --> 00:02:10,514
I've been cooking all day.
I smell like onions.
21
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(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
22
00:02:11,889 --> 00:02:12,932
Ladies and gentlemen!
23
00:02:14,684 --> 00:02:17,395
I have someone to
make you acquaintance.
24
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(ALL TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
25
00:02:26,530 --> 00:02:28,198
RED: That's disgusting.
26
00:02:28,823 --> 00:02:29,866
And unsanitary.
27
00:02:29,991 --> 00:02:31,201
Keeps 'em warm all day long.
28
00:02:31,326 --> 00:02:32,536
Thanks for this back board.
29
00:02:32,661 --> 00:02:33,703
Pleasure doin'
business with you.
30
00:02:33,828 --> 00:02:35,539
WOMAN OVER PA: 5:00 a.m.
Breakfast time.
31
00:02:36,623 --> 00:02:38,625
So we need request forms for
next spring's non-perishables.
32
00:02:38,708 --> 00:02:40,210
Bring 'em tonight.
33
00:02:40,377 --> 00:02:41,878
Tori's getting out
in six weeks,
34
00:02:41,961 --> 00:02:44,214
so we gotta train someone
new on the feed slicer.
35
00:02:44,339 --> 00:02:45,507
Look into little Sara.
36
00:02:45,590 --> 00:02:47,258
Make sure she
never stabbed people.
37
00:02:47,425 --> 00:02:50,053
And Betty's been acting up again.
The bitch is gonna fuck us.
38
00:02:50,178 --> 00:02:51,471
A little patience.
39
00:02:51,555 --> 00:02:53,973
She's been here a lot of years.
I'll deal with her.
40
00:02:55,016 --> 00:02:56,059
The blondie?
41
00:02:56,184 --> 00:02:57,519
Yes. She's going nuts.
42
00:02:57,602 --> 00:02:58,769
That one's a light touch.
43
00:02:58,895 --> 00:03:00,456
Well, you did serve
her a bloody tampon.
44
00:03:00,522 --> 00:03:02,232
Yeah. Heh.
45
00:03:02,649 --> 00:03:03,858
I'm proud of that one.
46
00:03:05,443 --> 00:03:07,404
I have to go to another prison.
47
00:03:08,029 --> 00:03:09,447
A different one.
48
00:03:09,573 --> 00:03:11,576
You have to move me.
49
00:03:11,741 --> 00:03:14,537
Like this is the Radisson
and you don't like your room?
50
00:03:18,249 --> 00:03:19,333
Why?
51
00:03:19,458 --> 00:03:21,085
Why isn't this the Radisson?
52
00:03:21,168 --> 00:03:23,045
Why do you need to be moved?
53
00:03:25,755 --> 00:03:28,758
Did someone try
to engage with you sexually?
54
00:03:33,598 --> 00:03:35,391
Tell me what
happened out there.
55
00:03:40,812 --> 00:03:42,273
(WOMAN TALKING
INDISTINCTLY OVER PA)
56
00:03:47,361 --> 00:03:48,738
It's fine.
57
00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:52,783
I just freaked out.
58
00:03:54,118 --> 00:03:55,620
I'll be fine.
59
00:03:57,996 --> 00:03:58,997
I'm sure you will.
60
00:04:01,292 --> 00:04:03,794
You're gonna be
late for orientation.
61
00:04:07,506 --> 00:04:09,508
MAN OVER PA: Attention, ladies.
Remember the rules.
62
00:04:09,634 --> 00:04:11,636
Hey, sorry I'm late.
Sit down.
63
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That one's broke.
64
00:04:26,984 --> 00:04:28,360
(CLANGING)
65
00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:30,321
WOMAN ON TV: Hi.
66
00:04:30,446 --> 00:04:33,574
Welcome to the Federal
Department of Corrections,
67
00:04:33,658 --> 00:04:35,159
where we strive
68
00:04:35,284 --> 00:04:40,331
to maintain facilities that are
secure, humane, and cost effective.
69
00:04:40,414 --> 00:04:41,624
(SNIGGERS)
70
00:04:42,458 --> 00:04:45,043
Night school classes are
offered three nights a week.
71
00:04:45,169 --> 00:04:48,922
There are a variety of
recreational activities available
72
00:04:49,006 --> 00:04:52,635
and clinical visits are offered
at the inmates' request.
73
00:04:52,718 --> 00:04:57,055
But enough about policy. Let's
get to the important stuff.
74
00:04:59,975 --> 00:05:01,935
This is a piece of copper pipe.
75
00:05:02,019 --> 00:05:04,021
And it was taken
from the laundry room.
76
00:05:04,104 --> 00:05:05,147
(CLANGS)
77
00:05:05,230 --> 00:05:06,315
It's hard.
78
00:05:06,857 --> 00:05:09,360
This was used
to break two ribs.
79
00:05:09,485 --> 00:05:11,945
Could also be used
to crack your skull,
80
00:05:12,029 --> 00:05:14,699
break your knee,
muss up your makeup.
81
00:05:16,701 --> 00:05:18,160
Amongst other things.
82
00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:22,707
Suicidal thoughts will come.
Frequently.
83
00:05:22,790 --> 00:05:26,251
Some days, it'll feel like
there are no other thoughts.
84
00:05:26,377 --> 00:05:28,546
"Do it," they'll say.
85
00:05:29,004 --> 00:05:30,005
"End it."
86
00:05:30,088 --> 00:05:31,089
(SWALLOWS)
87
00:05:31,215 --> 00:05:32,383
"Come on."
88
00:05:34,552 --> 00:05:38,055
You'll be assigned bunks soon.
Uniform issue is next week.
89
00:05:38,848 --> 00:05:41,058
State your correct
size on the form.
90
00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:43,143
No baggy hip-hop pants.
91
00:05:44,061 --> 00:05:45,895
Yes, I'm lookin' at you.
92
00:05:48,566 --> 00:05:53,278
Plastic toothbrush with a
razor-blade melted right into it.
93
00:05:54,029 --> 00:05:55,155
(CHUCKLES)
94
00:05:55,447 --> 00:05:56,574
(MOCK RETCHING)
95
00:05:59,993 --> 00:06:01,245
(SCOFFS)
96
00:06:01,579 --> 00:06:03,539
Yeah, probably shouldn't
have showed you that one.
97
00:06:04,373 --> 00:06:06,291
The women who made
and used these items
98
00:06:06,417 --> 00:06:09,545
are now in the SHU
or down at the max facility
99
00:06:09,628 --> 00:06:13,090
with added sentences. Their
lives are basically over.
100
00:06:13,883 --> 00:06:15,426
Hello, ladies.
101
00:06:16,134 --> 00:06:17,511
I am Natalie Figueroa.
102
00:06:17,595 --> 00:06:19,889
I am the Executive
Assistant to the warden.
103
00:06:19,971 --> 00:06:21,931
I try and visit often.
104
00:06:22,057 --> 00:06:23,559
If you have any concerns,
105
00:06:23,642 --> 00:06:25,811
specifically regarding
your needs as women,
106
00:06:25,935 --> 00:06:29,106
please come to me.
I will handle them personally.
107
00:06:31,108 --> 00:06:32,443
Yeah, she will.
108
00:06:32,568 --> 00:06:34,445
I had a question, actually.
109
00:06:34,570 --> 00:06:36,488
Today I'm only
here as a formality.
110
00:06:36,822 --> 00:06:37,947
(SIGHS)
111
00:06:41,076 --> 00:06:42,411
(SNIGGERS)
112
00:06:43,621 --> 00:06:44,663
GINA: Next.
113
00:06:47,082 --> 00:06:48,208
Next.
114
00:06:51,462 --> 00:06:52,463
Next.
115
00:06:52,588 --> 00:06:53,881
No. Wait.
116
00:06:55,340 --> 00:06:56,467
Next.
117
00:06:57,885 --> 00:06:58,886
(INMATES CHUCKLE)
118
00:06:58,968 --> 00:07:00,095
Seriously?
119
00:07:02,222 --> 00:07:03,223
Next.
120
00:07:07,603 --> 00:07:08,646
Come on.
121
00:07:13,442 --> 00:07:14,526
(CLANGING)
122
00:07:20,741 --> 00:07:24,077
WOMAN OVER PA: Dorm D, Dorm D,
laundry is ready for drop-off.
123
00:07:30,459 --> 00:07:31,502
Uh-uh.
124
00:07:32,336 --> 00:07:33,587
They're not letting me eat.
125
00:07:35,046 --> 00:07:36,799
That sounds like a whole
lot of your problem.
126
00:07:39,176 --> 00:07:41,512
We don't leave lunch
till lunch is over.
127
00:07:43,388 --> 00:07:45,432
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
128
00:08:04,369 --> 00:08:05,871
(LAUGHING)
129
00:08:13,962 --> 00:08:15,213
Mmm-hmm.
130
00:08:15,797 --> 00:08:17,048
Uh-huh.
131
00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:20,927
Come sit with us.
Not with Crazy Eyes.
132
00:08:27,225 --> 00:08:28,393
Rough morning?
133
00:08:29,602 --> 00:08:30,687
Something like that.
134
00:08:30,770 --> 00:08:32,355
We should've
warned you about Red.
135
00:08:32,898 --> 00:08:36,902
Well, I just didn't expect to be
punished while I was getting punished.
136
00:08:39,029 --> 00:08:40,613
You gotta fix that.
Make it right.
137
00:08:40,739 --> 00:08:41,740
How?
138
00:08:41,907 --> 00:08:45,744
I find it best to
confront things head-on.
139
00:08:46,369 --> 00:08:48,830
Know what?
I'm just gonna apologize.
140
00:08:48,914 --> 00:08:51,917
I'm just gonna very
sincerely apologize.
141
00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:57,088
People make mistakes. People say
stupid things all the time.
142
00:08:57,255 --> 00:08:58,297
Uh-huh.
143
00:08:59,799 --> 00:09:01,300
She's gotta
understand that, right?
144
00:09:03,595 --> 00:09:05,931
(INMATES TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
145
00:09:08,433 --> 00:09:09,434
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
146
00:09:09,601 --> 00:09:11,019
Check this shit out.
147
00:09:11,102 --> 00:09:12,103
(CHUCKLES)
148
00:09:19,069 --> 00:09:20,111
Who are you?
149
00:09:20,236 --> 00:09:21,863
Her daughter. Who are you?
150
00:09:21,988 --> 00:09:23,114
Her daughter.
151
00:09:25,658 --> 00:09:26,701
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
152
00:09:32,331 --> 00:09:34,626
What's the matter, you
don't wanna hit me again?
153
00:09:34,709 --> 00:09:37,211
From here on out, this
place will hit you for me.
154
00:09:42,592 --> 00:09:45,929
This orange thing,
it's like, I glow in the dark.
155
00:09:46,012 --> 00:09:47,973
The guard with the mustache
keeps staring at me.
156
00:09:48,098 --> 00:09:49,641
Since when do you hate that?
157
00:09:51,851 --> 00:09:52,978
(MOUTHING)
158
00:09:54,270 --> 00:09:55,605
You got any extra khakis?
159
00:09:56,606 --> 00:09:59,818
No. Well, not in your size.
160
00:09:59,943 --> 00:10:00,986
(CHUCKLES)
161
00:10:06,157 --> 00:10:10,036
And don't be in such a rush to
get out of that orange, sabes?
162
00:10:10,161 --> 00:10:12,956
Once you're in these,
you're old news.
163
00:10:17,836 --> 00:10:18,837
(KISSES)
164
00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:21,673
White girl said somethin'
nasty about Red's food,
165
00:10:21,756 --> 00:10:24,196
then Red sent her a message 'cause
white girl better recognize.
166
00:10:24,216 --> 00:10:25,176
(WHISPERS) A message?
167
00:10:25,301 --> 00:10:27,095
Egg McTampon. Rare.
168
00:10:27,178 --> 00:10:29,514
So now nobody's
givin' her nothin' to eat.
169
00:10:29,597 --> 00:10:31,016
Not until Red say so.
170
00:10:31,766 --> 00:10:33,018
That's...
171
00:10:34,226 --> 00:10:35,227
Thanks.
172
00:10:35,353 --> 00:10:37,271
This ain't gonna get
Red in trouble, right?
173
00:10:37,355 --> 00:10:38,564
'Cause I ain't no snitch.
174
00:10:38,690 --> 00:10:41,901
No. Of course not.
I mean, probably not.
175
00:10:43,153 --> 00:10:44,362
I haven't decided yet.
176
00:10:45,237 --> 00:10:46,238
Hold up.
177
00:10:47,198 --> 00:10:48,282
(GROANS)
178
00:10:48,616 --> 00:10:49,701
Where my candy?
179
00:11:08,553 --> 00:11:10,220
Get me another towel.
180
00:11:22,525 --> 00:11:23,735
Is this a bad time?
181
00:11:23,818 --> 00:11:24,819
Moment.
182
00:11:27,321 --> 00:11:28,406
(CHUCKLING)
183
00:11:34,037 --> 00:11:35,245
(SIGHS)
184
00:11:39,084 --> 00:11:41,211
About what I said yesterday?
185
00:11:41,335 --> 00:11:46,007
It was careless and it was rude.
And I am really sorry.
186
00:11:47,257 --> 00:11:49,761
I appreciate everything
that you do here,
187
00:11:49,844 --> 00:11:52,097
I can't imagine how
much work it takes,
188
00:11:52,222 --> 00:11:55,100
and since we're clearly gonna be
spending some time together...
189
00:11:55,265 --> 00:11:57,435
Don't forget the toes, Norma.
190
00:12:00,730 --> 00:12:07,403
I can tell you take pride in what
you do, and I so respect that.
191
00:12:07,987 --> 00:12:09,739
If someone insulted my work...
192
00:12:09,822 --> 00:12:11,866
What is it, your work?
193
00:12:12,033 --> 00:12:13,034
Oh.
194
00:12:13,118 --> 00:12:16,537
Um, I make artisanal bath products.
We got into Barneys.
195
00:12:18,039 --> 00:12:19,624
Artisanal?
196
00:12:20,125 --> 00:12:22,878
I'm just saying we're not that
different, you and I. That's all.
197
00:12:24,964 --> 00:12:28,050
And I understand
how stupid I've been.
198
00:12:29,426 --> 00:12:30,886
I really apologize.
199
00:12:30,970 --> 00:12:32,012
(SIGHS)
200
00:12:33,264 --> 00:12:34,431
I'm sorry.
201
00:12:35,975 --> 00:12:36,976
(TAPPING)
202
00:12:44,524 --> 00:12:45,859
You seem sweet.
203
00:12:48,988 --> 00:12:50,656
You really do, honey.
204
00:12:54,325 --> 00:12:57,121
But I can't do shit
with "I'm sorry."
205
00:12:58,038 --> 00:12:59,248
Not in here.
206
00:13:01,500 --> 00:13:03,169
Might not look like it,
207
00:13:03,543 --> 00:13:05,671
but there's rules
in this place.
208
00:13:06,630 --> 00:13:08,757
The most important of which is,
209
00:13:09,508 --> 00:13:12,385
the second you're
perceived as weak,
210
00:13:13,012 --> 00:13:14,805
you already are.
211
00:13:18,684 --> 00:13:20,227
What do you want me to do?
212
00:13:20,769 --> 00:13:22,521
You're a smart girl.
213
00:13:23,856 --> 00:13:25,107
(GRUNTS)
214
00:13:25,691 --> 00:13:27,151
(MOANING)
215
00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:35,868
Figure something out.
216
00:13:41,957 --> 00:13:44,168
That girl got some nice legs.
217
00:13:48,630 --> 00:13:49,798
What the fuck is this?
218
00:13:50,632 --> 00:13:52,885
Oh, it's my treat I'm savin'.
Just leave it.
219
00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:54,887
Leave it?
220
00:13:55,386 --> 00:13:56,638
Fuck leave it.
221
00:13:56,722 --> 00:13:59,016
You can't put your sticky
ice cream shit in here.
222
00:13:59,099 --> 00:14:02,228
It ain't just an ice cream.
It's a King Cone.
223
00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:04,604
(GASPS)
Man!
224
00:14:04,730 --> 00:14:05,731
Get off me, girl!
225
00:14:06,023 --> 00:14:07,816
(SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)
226
00:14:10,069 --> 00:14:11,278
Get this bitch off of me!
227
00:14:11,402 --> 00:14:13,864
(GRUNTING)
228
00:14:24,333 --> 00:14:26,252
B fucking took my hair out!
229
00:14:28,212 --> 00:14:30,505
MAN OVER PA:
B Dorm, Itza Martinez...
230
00:14:30,589 --> 00:14:32,841
Please tell me y'all ain't
fighting over ice cream.
231
00:14:33,926 --> 00:14:34,968
King Cone.
232
00:14:45,104 --> 00:14:46,855
(INMATE BREATHING DEEPLY)
233
00:14:48,023 --> 00:14:49,108
(SNORING)
234
00:14:49,233 --> 00:14:51,110
(NICKY HUMMING AND CHEWING)
235
00:15:04,957 --> 00:15:06,125
You okay, Chapman?
236
00:15:08,335 --> 00:15:09,461
Yeah.
237
00:15:10,796 --> 00:15:12,256
You know,
I'd give you a pretzel
238
00:15:12,339 --> 00:15:14,140
but the walls have eyes,
and I'm not retarded.
239
00:15:18,220 --> 00:15:22,474
When I first got here,
I had troubles like you.
240
00:15:23,934 --> 00:15:26,312
There was a disagreement.
241
00:15:27,562 --> 00:15:29,189
Then we brawled.
242
00:15:29,815 --> 00:15:32,109
That's how you settled things.
243
00:15:32,734 --> 00:15:34,153
And if I'd have won,
244
00:15:34,736 --> 00:15:37,281
I'd have been la jefa.
245
00:15:37,364 --> 00:15:38,991
Instead of this.
246
00:15:40,659 --> 00:15:43,245
Thank God I got cancer.
247
00:15:43,912 --> 00:15:46,581
No one fucks with cancer.
248
00:15:52,004 --> 00:15:53,505
Good talk.
249
00:15:55,507 --> 00:15:56,800
Fuck!
250
00:16:02,639 --> 00:16:04,183
(STOMACH GRUMBLING)
251
00:16:11,231 --> 00:16:12,274
(GRUNTS)
252
00:16:13,359 --> 00:16:15,235
So it's nothing but lemonade?
253
00:16:15,777 --> 00:16:16,945
It's a cleanse.
254
00:16:17,029 --> 00:16:20,032
No vegetable juice? Fiber?
255
00:16:20,199 --> 00:16:22,617
We are going to deny
ourselves sustenance
256
00:16:22,701 --> 00:16:26,163
while there are people
that starve in Kinshasa?
257
00:16:29,208 --> 00:16:30,750
It's racist to
just say "Africa."
258
00:16:31,877 --> 00:16:33,295
You put cayenne pepper in this?
259
00:16:33,379 --> 00:16:36,715
Yes! Yes.
It flushes out toxins.
260
00:16:37,883 --> 00:16:41,053
We don't smoke,
we don't snort crack.
261
00:16:42,637 --> 00:16:44,973
Honey, don't you think the little
rocks would hurt your nose
262
00:16:45,057 --> 00:16:46,683
if you tried to snort crack?
263
00:16:47,226 --> 00:16:48,227
I think you mean coke.
264
00:16:48,352 --> 00:16:49,686
You know what I mean.
265
00:16:49,769 --> 00:16:52,731
You know, you don't let me buy
food unless it's locally-grown,
266
00:16:52,856 --> 00:16:54,858
grass-fed, conflict-free...
267
00:16:54,941 --> 00:16:56,902
I'm perfectly fine
doing this on my own.
268
00:16:57,110 --> 00:16:59,191
No. No, no, no, no. Honey,
that's not what I'm saying.
269
00:16:59,239 --> 00:17:01,032
You're making fun of it.
No. I'm just...
270
00:17:01,115 --> 00:17:02,367
When you said cleanse,
271
00:17:02,450 --> 00:17:04,536
I thought you meant
we'd be eating more kale.
272
00:17:04,660 --> 00:17:07,372
We can eat more kale when we're
transitioning back to food.
273
00:17:07,497 --> 00:17:08,498
Okay.
274
00:17:09,123 --> 00:17:10,708
What about dinners out?
275
00:17:12,085 --> 00:17:13,294
Weekend brunches?
276
00:17:13,420 --> 00:17:15,671
(STUTTERS) I mean, isn't this gonna
turn us into anti-social losers?
277
00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:19,092
Well, it doesn't have to.
278
00:17:20,510 --> 00:17:21,594
(CHUCKLES)
279
00:17:24,055 --> 00:17:30,270
I'm not gonna be the guy that shows
up with his lemonade cuppie.
280
00:17:32,897 --> 00:17:35,275
Okay. Okay.
281
00:17:35,525 --> 00:17:39,112
For me, this is it
for the next seven days.
282
00:17:40,447 --> 00:17:43,657
If you wanna back out, I'm
not gonna love you any less.
283
00:17:44,451 --> 00:17:46,327
We did say that we were
gonna do it together.
284
00:17:46,453 --> 00:17:49,539
But if you don't
wanna be "that guy,"
285
00:17:49,622 --> 00:17:53,876
I'm perfectly happy
doing it on my own.
286
00:17:57,671 --> 00:17:58,798
(SIGHS)
287
00:18:01,717 --> 00:18:03,010
Well, where's the fun in that?
288
00:18:03,177 --> 00:18:05,263
(SQUEALS) See?
289
00:18:06,722 --> 00:18:07,765
(LARRY GRUNTS)
290
00:18:10,977 --> 00:18:12,562
Oh, God. (SIGHS)
291
00:18:13,187 --> 00:18:14,188
(BUZZING)
292
00:18:14,314 --> 00:18:16,357
OFFICER: Number four,
on the left. Next!
293
00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:23,490
(BLEEPING)
294
00:18:24,991 --> 00:18:26,451
Turn around.
295
00:18:27,994 --> 00:18:29,579
Hold it right there.
296
00:18:33,333 --> 00:18:34,334
Next!
297
00:18:34,417 --> 00:18:36,169
Oh, look, it's the fiance.
298
00:18:36,961 --> 00:18:38,087
OFFICER: Put your bag down, please.
(CHUCKLES)
299
00:18:38,171 --> 00:18:39,213
I should be on the list.
300
00:18:39,547 --> 00:18:42,175
And I should be on American Idol,
but I can't sing for shit.
301
00:18:42,675 --> 00:18:43,717
(CHUCKLES)
302
00:18:46,346 --> 00:18:47,805
No Larry Bloom here.
303
00:18:47,972 --> 00:18:49,056
What?
304
00:18:53,186 --> 00:18:54,521
Oh, this is from last week.
305
00:18:57,482 --> 00:18:58,816
Where's this week's?
306
00:18:58,899 --> 00:19:00,652
In another office.
307
00:19:16,709 --> 00:19:17,751
Have a seat.
308
00:19:17,877 --> 00:19:21,047
WOMAN OVER PA: When in the visitation
room, you're allowed two hugs,
309
00:19:21,381 --> 00:19:24,008
one on arrival,
and one on departure.
310
00:19:27,011 --> 00:19:28,054
(SIGHS)
311
00:19:38,981 --> 00:19:40,900
(ALL CLAMORING)
312
00:19:48,074 --> 00:19:50,326
Okay, try not to crowd around, ladies.
Come on, now.
313
00:19:51,744 --> 00:19:53,371
Thank you.
MAN OVER PA: Itza Martinez again...
314
00:19:53,454 --> 00:19:54,830
Thank you.
315
00:20:00,211 --> 00:20:01,421
Can I have some gum?
316
00:20:02,589 --> 00:20:06,133
Sorry. Can't do that. (CHUCKLES)
Inmates aren't allowed.
317
00:20:06,259 --> 00:20:08,302
I get it. You can't
give special treatment.
318
00:20:08,928 --> 00:20:10,722
It'd look funny.
Like I liked you.
319
00:20:12,932 --> 00:20:13,974
Don't you?
320
00:20:23,443 --> 00:20:24,944
Oh, my God, honey!
321
00:20:25,027 --> 00:20:26,446
Oh, baby. Hey!
Hi.
322
00:20:26,571 --> 00:20:27,863
Honey.
Oh! Hi.
323
00:20:27,988 --> 00:20:29,156
That's enough.
324
00:20:31,075 --> 00:20:32,118
Sorry. I'm so sorry I'm late.
325
00:20:32,201 --> 00:20:33,202
No. It's fine.
326
00:20:33,286 --> 00:20:34,287
I swear I was here,
327
00:20:34,412 --> 00:20:36,080
but I think they were, like,
deliberately fucking with me.
328
00:20:36,163 --> 00:20:38,249
No, whatever, it's fine.
You're here. Oh!
329
00:20:38,374 --> 00:20:39,417
You look great!
330
00:20:39,500 --> 00:20:40,585
I mean, who knew
you could rock orange?
331
00:20:40,668 --> 00:20:41,669
Please. Come on!
332
00:20:41,794 --> 00:20:42,795
Seriously,
333
00:20:42,878 --> 00:20:44,964
and your face is
like all cheekboney.
334
00:20:45,131 --> 00:20:48,384
Well, I haven't
eaten since Wednesday.
335
00:20:48,468 --> 00:20:49,469
What?
336
00:20:50,094 --> 00:20:51,262
(WHISPERS) She's
starving me out.
337
00:20:51,345 --> 00:20:52,472
Who?
338
00:20:54,932 --> 00:20:56,309
Oh, my God.
339
00:20:57,101 --> 00:20:58,102
Do you have any change?
340
00:20:58,894 --> 00:21:01,939
Oh, yeah. Yeah, I think so.
What do you want?
341
00:21:02,148 --> 00:21:04,817
Literally anything. Go.
342
00:21:16,537 --> 00:21:17,580
No.
343
00:21:18,539 --> 00:21:19,739
I don't think they work, honey.
344
00:21:19,832 --> 00:21:20,874
No.
345
00:21:22,669 --> 00:21:23,795
No! No.
(THUDS)
346
00:21:23,877 --> 00:21:26,589
Inmate, step away
from the machine.
347
00:21:27,298 --> 00:21:28,419
He just called you "inmate."
348
00:21:28,424 --> 00:21:30,217
You too, sir.
Sorry.
349
00:21:32,345 --> 00:21:33,681
(WHISPERING) This is her.
She did this.
350
00:21:33,764 --> 00:21:35,015
Who? Who are you
talking about?
351
00:21:35,098 --> 00:21:36,767
The woman who runs the kitchen.
352
00:21:36,850 --> 00:21:38,519
What? Why are we whispering?
353
00:21:39,478 --> 00:21:42,272
She's starving me out.
I insulted the food.
354
00:21:42,356 --> 00:21:43,691
Oh, Piper.
355
00:21:44,274 --> 00:21:45,693
Your foot in mouth disease?
356
00:21:45,776 --> 00:21:47,486
I'm an idiot.
357
00:21:47,569 --> 00:21:49,697
She's issued
a fucking fatwa against me.
358
00:21:52,282 --> 00:21:53,682
I think I'm gonna
have to fight her.
359
00:21:53,742 --> 00:21:54,743
What?
360
00:21:54,868 --> 00:21:57,120
How am I supposed to
prison-fight an old Russian lady
361
00:21:57,204 --> 00:21:58,997
with back problems?
(SOBBING)
362
00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:01,916
Hey, Piper, come on. You're not.
That's ridiculous.
363
00:22:02,042 --> 00:22:05,838
You don't have to fight anybody. Okay?
Hey, hey, hey, stop. Stop.
364
00:22:05,962 --> 00:22:07,047
GUARD: No touching.
365
00:22:07,214 --> 00:22:08,382
(PIPER SIGHING)
Jesus.
366
00:22:09,341 --> 00:22:11,343
It's gonna be okay.
Mmm.
367
00:22:11,719 --> 00:22:12,720
All right?
Uh-uh.
368
00:22:12,886 --> 00:22:14,366
Your commissary
money's coming, right?
369
00:22:14,429 --> 00:22:17,140
I sent the check
the minute I left here.
370
00:22:17,224 --> 00:22:18,266
Express mail.
371
00:22:18,684 --> 00:22:20,364
Even if you have to
live off Snickers bars,
372
00:22:20,394 --> 00:22:21,894
it's gonna be okay.
373
00:22:28,652 --> 00:22:30,320
I hate that you're
seeing me like this.
374
00:22:31,238 --> 00:22:32,447
At least I get to see you.
375
00:22:36,076 --> 00:22:37,828
Tell me that you're
not watching Mad Men.
376
00:22:37,910 --> 00:22:38,911
What?
377
00:22:39,371 --> 00:22:41,540
Promise me you're not
watching Mad Men without me,
378
00:22:41,623 --> 00:22:45,001
that when I get out of here, we're
gonna binge watch it, together,
379
00:22:45,085 --> 00:22:47,254
in bed, with take-out from...
380
00:22:47,337 --> 00:22:48,589
Gertie's? (LAUGHS)
381
00:22:48,714 --> 00:22:49,964
Yes. Yes.
382
00:22:50,090 --> 00:22:52,050
Yes. Of course. 100%.
383
00:22:52,426 --> 00:22:53,552
(BUZZING)
384
00:22:53,926 --> 00:22:56,471
GUARD: Visiting hours
have come to a close.
385
00:22:56,597 --> 00:22:59,140
Jesus. Really?
That was like two minutes.
386
00:22:59,266 --> 00:23:01,435
Visitors, please make
your way to the exit.
387
00:23:01,769 --> 00:23:02,770
We can hug again.
388
00:23:02,895 --> 00:23:03,936
What?
389
00:23:04,062 --> 00:23:05,355
Once coming in, once going out.
390
00:23:05,731 --> 00:23:06,899
Come here.
391
00:23:08,191 --> 00:23:09,276
Oh!
392
00:23:10,903 --> 00:23:11,986
I love you, babe.
393
00:23:18,660 --> 00:23:19,828
(BUZZER SOUNDS)
394
00:23:51,777 --> 00:23:52,945
Sorry.
395
00:24:04,498 --> 00:24:05,749
(WHISPERS) Red?
396
00:24:06,959 --> 00:24:08,000
Red?
397
00:24:12,631 --> 00:24:13,632
What is it?
398
00:24:15,300 --> 00:24:16,551
Betty's dead.
399
00:24:20,096 --> 00:24:21,306
(SIGHS)
400
00:24:22,933 --> 00:24:24,768
RED: She was a good girl.
401
00:24:24,852 --> 00:24:26,353
GINA: No one heard her go.
402
00:24:27,019 --> 00:24:28,480
LUSCHEK: Get over it.
It's a freezer.
403
00:24:29,648 --> 00:24:33,025
See, what happened here was a
breach in the main coolant line.
404
00:24:33,193 --> 00:24:34,695
Big, nasty breach.
405
00:24:35,027 --> 00:24:36,697
Ugly breach.
Bad, bad breach.
406
00:24:36,822 --> 00:24:38,281
What's that smell?
407
00:24:38,866 --> 00:24:39,950
That's the Freon.
408
00:24:40,617 --> 00:24:42,410
Some people use it for huffing.
409
00:24:42,828 --> 00:24:44,913
Makes for a super intense,
but short-lived high.
410
00:24:45,037 --> 00:24:48,542
Similar to crack, uh,
but without the migraines.
411
00:24:51,211 --> 00:24:53,964
Put those in ice water.
Don't stack those, Gina.
412
00:24:55,215 --> 00:24:56,383
NICKY: Nice pussy.
413
00:24:56,591 --> 00:24:57,634
Don't ask.
414
00:24:57,718 --> 00:24:59,386
I don't intend to.
415
00:24:59,594 --> 00:25:01,395
Thanksgiving's coming twice
this year, ladies.
416
00:25:01,513 --> 00:25:03,097
Spread the word.
417
00:25:04,850 --> 00:25:07,811
Okay, I understand
what you have to do.
418
00:25:07,895 --> 00:25:09,187
What?
419
00:25:09,312 --> 00:25:10,772
I'm not a fighter.
420
00:25:11,481 --> 00:25:12,524
Go ahead.
421
00:25:12,607 --> 00:25:13,984
I'm a little busy here.
Pick up those rags.
422
00:25:14,066 --> 00:25:15,226
I'm not going to swing first.
423
00:25:15,235 --> 00:25:16,277
Good.
424
00:25:16,403 --> 00:25:17,738
Just hit me and
get it over with.
425
00:25:17,863 --> 00:25:19,155
I said I'm a little busy.
426
00:25:19,239 --> 00:25:20,615
I'm not leaving
until you do it.
427
00:25:21,575 --> 00:25:23,243
(GRUNTS) Wow.
428
00:25:24,578 --> 00:25:25,913
You want me to hit you?
429
00:25:26,038 --> 00:25:27,247
Yeah.
430
00:25:27,330 --> 00:25:29,081
Okay, get ready.
431
00:25:32,753 --> 00:25:35,672
You called my food disgusting.
432
00:25:39,843 --> 00:25:44,180
You're not getting hazed,
you're not getting harassed,
433
00:25:46,224 --> 00:25:47,684
you're getting starved.
434
00:25:49,019 --> 00:25:50,520
To death.
435
00:25:50,604 --> 00:25:54,608
You'll leave Litchfield
as a skeleton in a body bag.
436
00:25:55,442 --> 00:25:56,484
Pow!
437
00:25:57,485 --> 00:26:00,781
Now, march your yuppie ass
outta my kitchen.
438
00:26:05,535 --> 00:26:08,789
Slowly, so you don't burn
too many calories.
439
00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:14,712
So the third time,
same thing happens.
440
00:26:14,796 --> 00:26:17,548
And the farmer looks at his
wife, then back at the penguin,
441
00:26:17,632 --> 00:26:20,551
and finally the penguin goes,
(CHUCKLES)
442
00:26:22,971 --> 00:26:27,308
"He's not an eggplant, man.
He's retarded."
443
00:26:27,391 --> 00:26:28,935
(LAUGHING)
444
00:26:30,686 --> 00:26:31,980
You get it? 'Cause he...
445
00:26:32,145 --> 00:26:33,146
We get it.
446
00:26:35,190 --> 00:26:37,693
My brother was retarded.
447
00:26:38,235 --> 00:26:39,654
Oh, so sorry to hear that.
448
00:26:42,031 --> 00:26:43,658
You know, my husband's
a little slow.
449
00:26:44,492 --> 00:26:45,952
Says he was dropped on his head
450
00:26:46,035 --> 00:26:47,996
when he was born.
Just my luck.
451
00:26:48,121 --> 00:26:50,957
They couldn't have dropped
him on his dick? (CHUCKLES)
452
00:26:51,415 --> 00:26:53,459
I think I slept
wrong last night.
453
00:26:53,542 --> 00:26:55,544
Should we call it
a short walk today, ladies?
454
00:26:55,670 --> 00:26:56,671
Yes.
455
00:26:56,754 --> 00:26:57,914
Oh, you barely broke a sweat.
456
00:26:58,339 --> 00:27:00,173
Oh, my son has
dentist appointment.
457
00:27:00,257 --> 00:27:01,342
Oh, okay.
458
00:27:01,467 --> 00:27:02,677
We're close to your house, no?
459
00:27:02,802 --> 00:27:03,928
Yeah. Right over there.
460
00:27:04,679 --> 00:27:05,888
Same time tomorrow?
461
00:27:06,014 --> 00:27:07,431
We'll let you know.
462
00:27:18,985 --> 00:27:20,111
Oh, shit!
463
00:27:22,488 --> 00:27:23,906
Did no one think
to turn this off?
464
00:27:28,828 --> 00:27:31,372
(WOMAN TALKING
INDISTINCTLY OVER PA)
465
00:27:35,208 --> 00:27:36,293
Where is his highness?
466
00:27:38,963 --> 00:27:40,006
You're out of bounds.
467
00:27:40,089 --> 00:27:41,799
Healy?
Sir, I told her not to...
468
00:27:41,883 --> 00:27:43,718
Jesus Christ!
(FLUSHING)
469
00:27:43,926 --> 00:27:45,218
I need a new freezer.
470
00:27:45,887 --> 00:27:47,638
We can talk about
this later, Red.
471
00:27:47,722 --> 00:27:49,974
You have been saying
that for three years.
472
00:27:50,725 --> 00:27:52,886
We're dealing with a very
serious budget situation here.
473
00:27:53,519 --> 00:27:54,687
Should I subdue the inmate?
474
00:27:54,770 --> 00:27:58,941
The warden has been very clear
about spending this quarter.
475
00:27:59,901 --> 00:28:02,987
You want me to walk?
I'll walk, happily.
476
00:28:04,405 --> 00:28:07,240
Remember the last time I gave
back the keys to the kitchen?
477
00:28:08,325 --> 00:28:09,535
I'll see what I can do.
478
00:28:10,828 --> 00:28:12,163
Thank you.
479
00:28:15,750 --> 00:28:18,794
Ugh, like a dying animal
it smells in there.
480
00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:21,589
A dying animal, or just a
man who eats your food?
481
00:28:23,591 --> 00:28:25,051
Ugh with you, too.
482
00:28:27,260 --> 00:28:31,015
That smells fantastic.
It's like fresh muffins.
483
00:28:31,099 --> 00:28:32,558
Dried blueberries.
484
00:28:32,683 --> 00:28:34,476
Twelve fuckin' pounds of 'em.
485
00:28:34,852 --> 00:28:38,106
Funnest hobby ever.
You seen my headphones?
486
00:28:38,231 --> 00:28:39,232
Uh, left drawer.
487
00:28:39,398 --> 00:28:40,678
So you can put
anything in there?
488
00:28:40,733 --> 00:28:41,776
Just about.
489
00:28:41,943 --> 00:28:45,320
Peppermint, basil,
grapefruits, vanilla.
490
00:28:45,446 --> 00:28:46,405
She won't do chocolate.
491
00:28:46,488 --> 00:28:48,449
It never works.
Or popcorn.
492
00:28:48,532 --> 00:28:50,409
We're making soap,
not Jelly Bellys.
493
00:28:50,492 --> 00:28:51,660
Sweet.
494
00:28:52,494 --> 00:28:53,934
You know, for Amy,
I think you'd want
495
00:28:53,955 --> 00:28:55,289
something more along the lines
496
00:28:55,414 --> 00:28:59,043
of sage, patchouli,
maybe eucalyptus?
497
00:28:59,418 --> 00:29:01,336
Oh, she's allergic
to eucalyptus,
498
00:29:01,462 --> 00:29:03,338
or she hates it.
I can't remember.
499
00:29:03,464 --> 00:29:04,624
Really? Who hates eucalyptus?
500
00:29:04,632 --> 00:29:07,426
Larry's mother. She thinks
they're "dirty trees."
501
00:29:07,635 --> 00:29:08,716
You're still with that guy?
502
00:29:09,262 --> 00:29:10,429
Thought you wouldn't
make it two months.
503
00:29:10,512 --> 00:29:12,431
Pete!
What? You said so, too.
504
00:29:14,183 --> 00:29:15,476
They're moving in together.
505
00:29:15,559 --> 00:29:19,272
Already? Shit.
You are still a lesbian.
506
00:29:22,316 --> 00:29:23,567
I'm out, ladies.
Okay.
507
00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:29,282
You could sell these, you know.
(DOOR CLOSES)
508
00:29:30,699 --> 00:29:33,995
At farmers markets,
little boutique stores.
509
00:29:34,203 --> 00:29:35,579
I just kinda like making 'em.
510
00:29:36,914 --> 00:29:38,166
I could be your partner.
511
00:29:38,833 --> 00:29:39,834
What?
512
00:29:41,376 --> 00:29:43,254
This could be something.
513
00:29:43,337 --> 00:29:45,089
I mean, this could
be a thing, Pol.
514
00:29:46,257 --> 00:29:49,302
Market it right and package
it right, this is money.
515
00:29:49,468 --> 00:29:53,181
I mean, it smells
so fucking good in here.
516
00:29:54,015 --> 00:29:55,516
I can make this money.
517
00:29:56,100 --> 00:29:57,852
(WHISPERS)
I make lotions, too.
518
00:30:01,730 --> 00:30:03,774
Yo, y'all got headphones
for movie night?
519
00:30:03,858 --> 00:30:05,609
Sold the last pair
this morning.
520
00:30:05,693 --> 00:30:09,113
That's some bullshit. I ain't
tryin' to watch no silent movie.
521
00:30:09,363 --> 00:30:10,823
Sold out. Next.
522
00:30:11,199 --> 00:30:14,994
Spanish ladies are calling you
La Llorona, the wailing lady.
523
00:30:16,329 --> 00:30:17,663
Well, they would've
screamed just as loud
524
00:30:17,746 --> 00:30:19,581
if someone handed them
a used tampon sandwich.
525
00:30:19,707 --> 00:30:20,958
(SIGHS) Oh, yeah.
526
00:30:21,542 --> 00:30:24,045
Or if they suddenly saw
an ex-girlfriend in prison.
527
00:30:24,170 --> 00:30:25,254
Hey, what's her name? Alex?
528
00:30:27,464 --> 00:30:28,549
What did she say to you?
529
00:30:28,716 --> 00:30:31,510
Not a word. I just know
dyke drama when I see it.
530
00:30:33,428 --> 00:30:34,722
CHANG: You gonna
buy something or not?
531
00:30:34,847 --> 00:30:38,059
Yes. Hi, um, I should
have some credit here.
532
00:30:38,184 --> 00:30:41,395
My fiance sent
a check on Wednesday.
533
00:30:41,729 --> 00:30:43,772
Take seven day to process.
534
00:30:43,981 --> 00:30:46,062
You can use mine. It's not
like you're going anywhere.
535
00:30:46,109 --> 00:30:47,069
For food?
536
00:30:47,194 --> 00:30:48,195
Fuck no.
537
00:30:48,570 --> 00:30:49,612
Okay.
538
00:30:49,779 --> 00:30:50,906
Yo, Chang.
539
00:30:51,281 --> 00:30:52,282
(NICKY CLEARS THROAT)
540
00:30:52,407 --> 00:30:53,783
So, some rubber gloves.
541
00:30:55,827 --> 00:30:57,495
Okay, so maybe
some cocoa butter?
542
00:30:57,579 --> 00:30:58,621
Uh, cocoa butter?
543
00:30:59,664 --> 00:31:03,085
Maybe like a sieve of
some kind. A strainer?
544
00:31:03,293 --> 00:31:06,213
Okay. All right.
Yo, you got a strainer?
545
00:31:13,262 --> 00:31:16,056
This is a cup.
Knock yourself out.
546
00:31:17,473 --> 00:31:19,351
You know how often
I come by new weave?
547
00:31:19,434 --> 00:31:21,103
You probably gonna look
like this till Christmas.
548
00:31:21,186 --> 00:31:24,231
Uh-uh. I paid you seven bottles
of Pantene for this shit.
549
00:31:24,314 --> 00:31:27,192
Ain't my fault you went
all UFC over a King Cone.
550
00:31:27,401 --> 00:31:29,236
And if you call it
"shit" one more time,
551
00:31:29,403 --> 00:31:31,280
you can take your
ass down to Danita.
552
00:31:31,947 --> 00:31:33,156
How much to fix it?
553
00:31:33,365 --> 00:31:34,657
Mmm-hmm.
PIPER: Excuse me?
554
00:31:35,658 --> 00:31:38,453
Hi. I'm Chapman.
555
00:31:41,497 --> 00:31:43,583
Yeah, that's me. Um...
556
00:31:44,209 --> 00:31:46,753
I heard you might have
something that I need.
557
00:31:46,878 --> 00:31:48,838
J. Crew is around the corner.
558
00:31:49,005 --> 00:31:50,299
(SOPHIA AND PIPER CHUCKLE)
559
00:31:50,382 --> 00:31:51,925
Yeah. Um...
560
00:31:52,717 --> 00:31:58,307
Cocoa butter, or shea butter?
Do you have either of those?
561
00:31:58,432 --> 00:31:59,849
Maybe.
562
00:31:59,975 --> 00:32:01,893
I would just need
an ounce or two.
563
00:32:02,477 --> 00:32:03,997
Ain't you the one
they're starving out?
564
00:32:05,230 --> 00:32:06,231
Yeah.
565
00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:09,151
(SCOFFS) You got some
fucked-up priorities.
566
00:32:09,276 --> 00:32:10,568
We work on
a barter system here.
567
00:32:10,652 --> 00:32:11,903
You know what
that means, right?
568
00:32:11,987 --> 00:32:12,988
Yes.
569
00:32:13,113 --> 00:32:15,824
Three shower caps
or a round brush.
570
00:32:15,949 --> 00:32:17,229
Whichever they
got at commissary.
571
00:32:17,826 --> 00:32:21,121
Gladly. I will get them to you the
second that my money comes in.
572
00:32:21,371 --> 00:32:22,414
(LAUGHS)
573
00:32:23,498 --> 00:32:24,749
Credit declined.
574
00:32:25,292 --> 00:32:26,293
Please.
575
00:32:27,627 --> 00:32:29,754
"Please" is for commissary
hoes and Oliver Twist.
576
00:32:31,589 --> 00:32:33,342
Hold up. Some of us
tryin' to work here.
577
00:32:33,425 --> 00:32:34,426
I got an idea.
578
00:32:36,052 --> 00:32:37,346
But you ain't gonna like it.
579
00:32:39,848 --> 00:32:41,141
(SHRIEKS)
580
00:32:43,893 --> 00:32:45,854
Got that new 'do, Boo.
(LAUGHS)
581
00:32:59,368 --> 00:33:01,453
(PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
582
00:33:02,454 --> 00:33:04,039
Chapman's going around
asking for weird stuff, Red.
583
00:33:04,164 --> 00:33:05,207
What stuff?
584
00:33:05,290 --> 00:33:07,209
She's trying to get her
hands on hot peppers.
585
00:33:07,292 --> 00:33:08,502
You think she's gonna mace you?
586
00:33:08,584 --> 00:33:10,379
I don't think so.
587
00:33:10,462 --> 00:33:13,923
But if she does, worst case,
I'll get off my feet for a week.
588
00:33:14,049 --> 00:33:15,550
No, but it wouldn't
hurt your feet.
589
00:33:15,633 --> 00:33:17,593
It's an expression.
Mace burns your eyes.
590
00:33:17,719 --> 00:33:19,595
(CHUCKLING) Jesus, God.
591
00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:23,683
Oh.
592
00:33:29,356 --> 00:33:30,648
You okay, Chapman?
593
00:33:33,902 --> 00:33:35,404
WOMAN OVER PA:
Tonight's movie will be
594
00:33:35,529 --> 00:33:37,780
the airplane edit
of Good Luck Chuck,
595
00:33:37,906 --> 00:33:41,451
which Roger Ebert
gives one star. 8:00 p.m.
596
00:33:41,535 --> 00:33:42,660
Are you the new girl?
597
00:33:44,413 --> 00:33:47,957
Yes, I am. Piper.
598
00:33:51,169 --> 00:33:52,921
And you are?
599
00:33:53,004 --> 00:33:57,633
Uh, Sue. It's short for Susie,
which is short for Suzanne.
600
00:33:57,926 --> 00:33:59,469
(CHUCKLES) You
like spicy food?
601
00:34:02,764 --> 00:34:03,806
Sometimes.
602
00:34:03,932 --> 00:34:06,393
One of my girlfriends,
she was Mexican, real-talk.
603
00:34:07,310 --> 00:34:08,311
Uh...
604
00:34:08,437 --> 00:34:09,938
She gone now,
605
00:34:11,273 --> 00:34:13,233
but she left these.
606
00:34:19,906 --> 00:34:21,386
I have nothing to
trade you for those.
607
00:34:21,450 --> 00:34:24,286
People forget we was
all new here once.
608
00:34:27,122 --> 00:34:28,706
It's good to know
you ain't alone.
609
00:34:43,638 --> 00:34:45,181
LARRY: This feels awesome!
610
00:34:46,349 --> 00:34:48,768
My senses feel heightened,
I'm like a fucking werewolf.
611
00:34:48,851 --> 00:34:49,894
Larry?
612
00:34:50,019 --> 00:34:52,897
My skin is clear,
I'm lighter on my feet,
613
00:34:52,981 --> 00:34:54,149
and in the bathroom
this morning...
614
00:34:54,274 --> 00:34:55,233
Oh, please.
615
00:34:55,317 --> 00:34:58,987
Epic. Even better than yesterday.
Lord of the Rings. (CHUCKLES)
616
00:35:02,991 --> 00:35:08,371
What if we only did
this for five days?
617
00:35:11,458 --> 00:35:12,792
You wanna cut it short?
618
00:35:13,502 --> 00:35:15,504
Not cut it short. Just...
619
00:35:17,547 --> 00:35:18,673
Yes.
620
00:35:21,135 --> 00:35:22,886
This was your idea.
621
00:35:23,012 --> 00:35:25,348
Can we not make it a thing? This
doesn't have to be a thing.
622
00:35:25,473 --> 00:35:26,723
It's not a competition.
623
00:35:26,849 --> 00:35:28,601
I mean, you can't win
the Master Cleanse.
624
00:35:28,934 --> 00:35:30,186
Can't I?
625
00:35:31,437 --> 00:35:34,482
Here, drink up, love.
626
00:35:34,898 --> 00:35:36,275
All right?
627
00:35:36,692 --> 00:35:37,693
You'll feel better.
628
00:35:40,363 --> 00:35:41,697
(SNIFFING)
629
00:35:45,993 --> 00:35:47,036
What is that?
630
00:35:47,161 --> 00:35:48,704
You are not a werewolf.
631
00:35:48,787 --> 00:35:50,206
(SNIFFS) Oh.
632
00:35:51,290 --> 00:35:52,500
What are you doing?
633
00:35:53,250 --> 00:35:55,294
You fucker. Seriously?
634
00:35:56,253 --> 00:35:57,588
It was all that we had.
635
00:35:57,713 --> 00:36:00,257
Mr. Fox's Honey
Barbecue Pork Rinds?
636
00:36:00,383 --> 00:36:01,425
They're baked.
637
00:36:01,592 --> 00:36:03,678
Piper, we were
in this together.
638
00:36:03,760 --> 00:36:06,263
I know, I'm sorry.
639
00:36:07,682 --> 00:36:09,433
Oh, God.
640
00:36:10,643 --> 00:36:11,686
(SIGHS)
641
00:36:12,728 --> 00:36:14,104
You smell so good.
642
00:36:16,190 --> 00:36:18,734
Oh, my God. Come here.
643
00:36:19,902 --> 00:36:21,237
(CHUCKLING)
644
00:36:29,245 --> 00:36:30,454
I totally win.
645
00:36:30,580 --> 00:36:32,831
(CHUCKLING)
646
00:36:34,291 --> 00:36:39,672
WOMAN OVER PA: Two, nine and
seventeen, dinner is now available.
647
00:36:43,008 --> 00:36:44,051
Aw.
(SNIFFLES)
648
00:36:44,552 --> 00:36:46,596
Don't be so sad.
649
00:36:46,721 --> 00:36:48,681
Poor little baby.
650
00:36:51,225 --> 00:36:53,769
Dinner's in five.
I hear it's a big one.
651
00:36:53,894 --> 00:36:55,187
Yum, yum.
652
00:36:57,940 --> 00:36:59,483
(CHOMPING)
653
00:37:29,472 --> 00:37:30,723
(SOBBING)
654
00:37:33,016 --> 00:37:34,935
TAYSTEE:
Thank you, dead bitch.
655
00:37:35,018 --> 00:37:36,418
WOMAN OVER PA:
Don't forget, ladies,
656
00:37:36,437 --> 00:37:38,355
your usual meal
is 1,500 calories.
657
00:37:38,481 --> 00:37:39,774
Ain't nobody got this.
658
00:37:39,898 --> 00:37:41,233
It's that hotness.
Beware of overeating.
659
00:37:41,358 --> 00:37:42,735
That new shit.
660
00:37:42,818 --> 00:37:45,488
My hair is yellow as that
corn right there, girl.
661
00:37:45,571 --> 00:37:46,656
(ALL LAUGHING)
662
00:37:48,865 --> 00:37:49,866
No, no, no.
Look, I love these things.
663
00:37:49,992 --> 00:37:50,993
I want extra.
664
00:37:51,076 --> 00:37:52,578
Yeah, can I get some more corn?
665
00:37:52,662 --> 00:37:53,954
GINA: No.
666
00:39:26,505 --> 00:39:29,675
Navi. Amy.
667
00:39:34,179 --> 00:39:36,098
Forgot I even had this.
668
00:39:37,182 --> 00:39:39,518
Oh, no thanks, love,
I'm too old for hooch.
669
00:39:39,602 --> 00:39:42,938
Don't insult me.
Single malt. 12 year.
670
00:39:48,444 --> 00:39:50,654
(EXCLAIMS) Jesus Christ!
671
00:39:50,780 --> 00:39:54,408
And that was in '04.
It's only gotten better.
672
00:39:54,491 --> 00:39:55,868
So have we.
673
00:39:55,951 --> 00:39:57,412
Tell my ass.
674
00:40:54,177 --> 00:40:55,553
Oh, no.
675
00:40:56,554 --> 00:40:57,597
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
676
00:40:57,722 --> 00:40:59,349
It's the one without culture.
677
00:41:01,017 --> 00:41:02,059
Red.
678
00:41:02,185 --> 00:41:05,814
And the penguin goes, "He's not
an eggplant, he's retarded."
679
00:41:05,897 --> 00:41:07,273
It's fucking funny.
680
00:41:07,565 --> 00:41:08,525
It's just not.
681
00:41:08,650 --> 00:41:09,609
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
682
00:41:09,693 --> 00:41:11,110
That awful dye job...
683
00:41:11,194 --> 00:41:12,904
on your head make
me giggle though.
684
00:41:13,029 --> 00:41:14,030
(LAUGHS)
You...
685
00:41:14,531 --> 00:41:15,573
Aah!
686
00:41:16,783 --> 00:41:17,993
(GASPS)
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
687
00:41:18,075 --> 00:41:20,537
You popped her tit!
688
00:41:20,662 --> 00:41:22,079
Oh, shit.
689
00:41:22,831 --> 00:41:26,835
What the fuck were you thinking?
After all Ganya's done for us.
690
00:41:27,418 --> 00:41:28,712
He loved those tits.
691
00:41:28,837 --> 00:41:31,047
He'll get them back. There's plenty
more of them at the tit store.
692
00:41:31,172 --> 00:41:34,050
Did you count to 10? You're
supposed to count to 10.
693
00:41:34,258 --> 00:41:36,219
I never even wanted to
speak to those pizdy!
694
00:41:36,302 --> 00:41:37,428
You made me.
695
00:41:37,721 --> 00:41:39,222
Why did you do such a thing?
696
00:41:39,347 --> 00:41:43,059
Because they left me out!
Because they made fun of me!
697
00:41:43,142 --> 00:41:46,646
Because no matter how hard you
try and how much we want it,
698
00:41:46,730 --> 00:41:48,356
there's the people
who serve the bread,
699
00:41:48,439 --> 00:41:49,983
and the people
who eat the bread!
700
00:41:50,066 --> 00:41:54,404
And for once, it would be nice
if you would be on my side.
701
00:42:01,327 --> 00:42:02,370
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
702
00:42:02,495 --> 00:42:05,206
I'm on your side, Galya.
703
00:42:05,623 --> 00:42:06,917
I'm with you.
704
00:42:07,250 --> 00:42:13,089
And together we gotta figure this
out, cause this is bad. Real bad.
705
00:42:13,924 --> 00:42:15,091
How bad?
706
00:42:17,260 --> 00:42:19,637
They want $60,000.
707
00:42:20,805 --> 00:42:23,975
No boob job costs $60,000.
708
00:42:24,100 --> 00:42:25,435
It's crazy.
709
00:42:25,518 --> 00:42:26,853
This one does.
710
00:42:28,772 --> 00:42:32,483
(SOBBING) I was...
I was just...
711
00:42:34,360 --> 00:42:35,987
They're so mean.
712
00:42:36,404 --> 00:42:37,822
So are the men they married.
713
00:42:37,948 --> 00:42:39,282
(DISTANT SIREN WAILING)
714
00:42:39,407 --> 00:42:40,825
They meaner.
715
00:42:43,870 --> 00:42:45,663
I'm sorry, Dima.
716
00:42:50,710 --> 00:42:53,129
We'll figure out something.
717
00:42:54,756 --> 00:42:56,049
We always do.
718
00:42:58,843 --> 00:43:00,011
It's okay.
719
00:43:00,261 --> 00:43:02,221
(INMATES TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
720
00:43:08,394 --> 00:43:09,479
Red?
721
00:43:10,354 --> 00:43:11,397
She's busy.
722
00:43:11,522 --> 00:43:13,024
This'll only take a second.
723
00:43:18,446 --> 00:43:19,990
For your back.
724
00:43:20,323 --> 00:43:22,033
It's jalapeno rub.
725
00:43:22,325 --> 00:43:23,534
I made it myself.
726
00:43:26,496 --> 00:43:27,956
The capsaicin in the peppers
727
00:43:28,039 --> 00:43:29,759
creates heat which is good
for sore muscles,
728
00:43:29,833 --> 00:43:32,502
and the cocoa butter
is gentle on the skin.
729
00:43:35,254 --> 00:43:38,842
We have a similar product in our
line and my dad swears by it.
730
00:43:38,967 --> 00:43:40,176
He's got sciatica.
731
00:43:40,301 --> 00:43:42,261
These are wrong.
They should say "March."
732
00:43:44,597 --> 00:43:45,765
You can go now.
733
00:43:50,854 --> 00:43:53,898
OFFICER: Count time
starts now. Count time!
734
00:43:54,024 --> 00:43:55,525
(BUZZER SOUNDS)
735
00:44:07,745 --> 00:44:08,955
Line it up. Stop the chatter.
736
00:44:15,086 --> 00:44:16,379
Count time!
737
00:44:20,633 --> 00:44:21,843
(CLICKING)
738
00:44:21,926 --> 00:44:23,219
Dorm A, one through 20.
739
00:44:36,859 --> 00:44:38,299
GUARD: Get that
garbage out of there.
740
00:44:42,948 --> 00:44:45,076
All good. Thank you, ladies.
741
00:44:53,084 --> 00:44:54,250
All good.
742
00:45:19,151 --> 00:45:22,154
COMMENTATOR ON TV: Wilson into left field.
Beautiful hit.
743
00:45:22,905 --> 00:45:25,323
...eludes one tackler.
And he's brought down hard.
744
00:45:25,449 --> 00:45:27,243
"One imagines
somewhere in an attic
745
00:45:27,451 --> 00:45:29,912
"there's a painting of him
that's rapidly aging."
746
00:45:29,995 --> 00:45:31,830
For a guy from Ad Age,
he can really write.
747
00:45:31,997 --> 00:45:33,665
ROGER: He also says
you're married.
748
00:45:33,874 --> 00:45:37,795
DON: Jesus. He never asked me that.
Did he check any facts?
749
00:45:37,920 --> 00:45:39,630
ROGER: You didn't
give him any facts.
750
00:45:39,755 --> 00:45:41,465
He had to make
some assumptions.
751
00:45:41,632 --> 00:45:45,594
My job is to write ads, not go
around talking about who I am.
752
00:45:45,719 --> 00:45:46,804
Who knows who you are?
753
00:45:46,887 --> 00:45:49,807
This was supposed to be
an advertisement for the firm.
754
00:45:49,932 --> 00:45:51,142
DON: Why do you
have so many copies?
755
00:45:51,225 --> 00:45:52,392
ROGER: I bought one to read.
756
00:45:52,476 --> 00:45:54,396
And I was going to buy one
to frame in reception.
757
00:45:55,311 --> 00:45:57,481
CAPUTO: That new freezer
cost more than my car.
758
00:45:57,731 --> 00:45:59,733
Freon leak, huh?
759
00:45:59,817 --> 00:46:01,026
Most likely.
760
00:46:01,152 --> 00:46:04,989
You know, huffers, addicts.
Anything to get high.
761
00:46:06,240 --> 00:46:08,826
Anyone in here
huff that much Freon,
762
00:46:08,909 --> 00:46:11,495
we'd have a body
to show for it.
763
00:46:15,291 --> 00:46:18,460
Even you gotta know
when you're gettin' played.
764
00:46:19,628 --> 00:46:22,631
WOMAN OVER PA: Catholic, Buddhist,
Jewish and Muslim services
765
00:46:22,714 --> 00:46:25,676
will begin tomorrow
in the chapel at 9:00 a.m.
766
00:46:31,140 --> 00:46:33,349
(INMATES TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
767
00:46:40,816 --> 00:46:42,526
They said to give you this.
768
00:46:45,070 --> 00:46:49,033
Oh, God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, it worked?
769
00:46:49,158 --> 00:46:51,285
It must've worked.
770
00:46:51,367 --> 00:46:53,329
Your back cream?
Yeah.
771
00:46:53,411 --> 00:46:55,664
She said it burned, it made her
smell like a Puerto Rican,
772
00:46:55,747 --> 00:46:56,832
but you're good now.
773
00:46:56,915 --> 00:46:59,877
Everyone saw how hard you worked.
"A" for Effort.
774
00:47:00,961 --> 00:47:02,087
(CHUCKLES)
775
00:47:02,213 --> 00:47:03,255
Mmm.
776
00:47:05,423 --> 00:47:07,592
(CHUCKLES) It's not that good.
777
00:47:07,718 --> 00:47:08,969
Mmm-hmm.
778
00:47:13,224 --> 00:47:15,059
GINA: Next.
INMATE: Thank you.
779
00:47:25,569 --> 00:47:26,820
Next.
780
00:47:28,488 --> 00:47:29,573
What?
781
00:47:30,615 --> 00:47:31,742
Next.
782
00:47:43,379 --> 00:47:44,796
(DOOR OPENS)
783
00:47:46,006 --> 00:47:47,174
Hello?
784
00:48:01,855 --> 00:48:02,856
Put that in.
785
00:48:06,985 --> 00:48:08,028
(BOTH SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
786
00:48:08,153 --> 00:48:09,363
What's in those?
787
00:48:09,988 --> 00:48:11,156
You don't want to know.
788
00:48:12,157 --> 00:48:13,603
It's fine.
789
00:48:15,369 --> 00:48:17,168
This will make things
right for us.
790
00:48:17,288 --> 00:48:18,789
This doesn't feel right.
791
00:48:19,123 --> 00:48:20,374
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
792
00:48:22,376 --> 00:48:24,420
We're fine.
We'll work it out.
793
00:48:24,502 --> 00:48:25,503
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
794
00:48:25,629 --> 00:48:26,755
I promise.
795
00:48:36,307 --> 00:48:37,849
(ALL LAUGHING)
796
00:48:57,369 --> 00:48:58,703
Sorry.
797
00:49:55,470 --> 00:49:57,138
MAN ON TV: Have you
considered the possibility
798
00:49:57,222 --> 00:49:58,973
the reason you haven't been
laid in the last decade
799
00:49:59,057 --> 00:50:01,059
has something to do with your
routine use of the word "Trim"?
800
00:50:01,226 --> 00:50:05,230
Yeah, seven days a week,
56 weeks a year, "Trim!"
801
00:50:06,856 --> 00:50:07,857
That's my bad.
802
00:50:08,525 --> 00:50:10,397
Where's your manners, shithead?
803
00:50:26,918 --> 00:50:28,753
(PEPPY SONG PLAYING)
804
00:50:32,788 --> 00:50:43,092
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com