1 00:01:17,739 --> 00:01:20,326 So I say to this guy... 2 00:01:20,450 --> 00:01:23,954 "Save your schooner for someone else, yes?" 3 00:01:24,246 --> 00:01:27,916 I come here to buy a boat, not become some goddamn pirate. 4 00:01:33,672 --> 00:01:35,423 You should go talk to them. 5 00:01:37,759 --> 00:01:38,802 Please don't drop that. 6 00:01:39,761 --> 00:01:41,889 Get out there. Shake hands. 7 00:01:45,100 --> 00:01:46,393 Are you listening to me? 8 00:01:46,894 --> 00:01:49,063 It's important that we make this connection. 9 00:01:51,565 --> 00:01:53,942 These are very important people. 10 00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:07,331 Go meet his wife. 11 00:02:07,748 --> 00:02:10,251 I've been cooking all day. I smell like onions. 12 00:02:11,626 --> 00:02:12,669 Ladies and gentlemen! 13 00:02:14,421 --> 00:02:17,132 I have someone to make you acquaintance. 14 00:02:26,267 --> 00:02:27,935 That's disgusting. 15 00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:29,603 And unsanitary. 16 00:02:29,728 --> 00:02:30,938 Keeps 'em warm all day long. 17 00:02:31,063 --> 00:02:32,273 Thanks for this back board. 18 00:02:32,398 --> 00:02:33,440 Pleasure doin' business with you. 19 00:02:33,565 --> 00:02:35,276 5:00 a.m. Breakfast time. 20 00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:38,362 So we need request forms for next spring's non-perishables. 21 00:02:38,445 --> 00:02:39,947 Bring 'em tonight. 22 00:02:40,114 --> 00:02:41,615 Tori's getting out in six weeks, 23 00:02:41,698 --> 00:02:43,951 so we gotta train someone new on the feed slicer. 24 00:02:44,076 --> 00:02:45,244 Look into little Sara. 25 00:02:45,327 --> 00:02:46,995 Make sure she never stabbed people. 26 00:02:47,162 --> 00:02:49,790 And Betty's been acting up again. The bitch is gonna fuck us. 27 00:02:49,915 --> 00:02:51,208 A little patience. 28 00:02:51,292 --> 00:02:53,710 She's been here a lot of years. I'll deal with her. 29 00:02:54,753 --> 00:02:55,796 The blondie? 30 00:02:55,921 --> 00:02:57,256 Yes. She's going nuts. 31 00:02:57,339 --> 00:02:58,506 That one's a light touch. 32 00:02:58,632 --> 00:03:00,193 Well, you did serve her a bloody tampon. 33 00:03:00,259 --> 00:03:01,969 Yeah. Heh. 34 00:03:02,386 --> 00:03:03,595 I'm proud of that one. 35 00:03:05,180 --> 00:03:07,141 I have to go to another prison. 36 00:03:07,766 --> 00:03:09,184 A different one. 37 00:03:09,310 --> 00:03:11,312 You have to move me. 38 00:03:11,477 --> 00:03:14,273 Like this is the Radisson and you don't like your room? 39 00:03:17,985 --> 00:03:19,069 Why? 40 00:03:19,194 --> 00:03:20,821 Why isn't this the Radisson? 41 00:03:20,904 --> 00:03:22,781 Why do you need to be moved? 42 00:03:25,491 --> 00:03:28,494 Did someone try to engage with you sexually? 43 00:03:33,334 --> 00:03:35,127 Tell me what happened out there. 44 00:03:47,097 --> 00:03:48,474 It's fine. 45 00:03:50,976 --> 00:03:52,519 I just freaked out. 46 00:03:53,854 --> 00:03:55,356 I'll be fine. 47 00:03:57,732 --> 00:03:58,733 I'm sure you will. 48 00:04:01,028 --> 00:04:03,530 You're gonna be late for orientation. 49 00:04:07,242 --> 00:04:09,244 Attention, ladies. Remember the rules. 50 00:04:09,370 --> 00:04:11,372 Hey, sorry I'm late. Sit down. 51 00:04:22,883 --> 00:04:23,967 That one's broke. 52 00:04:29,056 --> 00:04:30,057 Hi. 53 00:04:30,182 --> 00:04:33,310 Welcome to the Federal Department of Corrections, 54 00:04:33,394 --> 00:04:34,895 where we strive 55 00:04:35,020 --> 00:04:40,067 to maintain facilities that are secure, humane, and cost effective. 56 00:04:42,194 --> 00:04:44,779 Night school classes are offered three nights a week. 57 00:04:44,905 --> 00:04:48,658 There are a variety of recreational activities available 58 00:04:48,742 --> 00:04:52,371 and clinical visits are offered at the inmates' request. 59 00:04:52,454 --> 00:04:56,791 But enough about policy. Let's get to the important stuff. 60 00:04:59,711 --> 00:05:01,671 This is a piece of copper pipe. 61 00:05:01,755 --> 00:05:03,757 And it was taken from the laundry room. 62 00:05:04,966 --> 00:05:06,051 It's hard. 63 00:05:06,593 --> 00:05:09,096 This was used to break two ribs. 64 00:05:09,221 --> 00:05:11,681 Could also be used to crack your skull, 65 00:05:11,765 --> 00:05:14,435 break your knee, muss up your makeup. 66 00:05:16,437 --> 00:05:17,896 Amongst other things. 67 00:05:19,356 --> 00:05:22,443 Suicidal thoughts will come. Frequently. 68 00:05:22,526 --> 00:05:25,987 Some days, it'll feel like there are no other thoughts. 69 00:05:26,113 --> 00:05:28,282 "Do it," they'll say. 70 00:05:28,740 --> 00:05:29,741 "End it." 71 00:05:30,951 --> 00:05:32,119 "Come on." 72 00:05:34,288 --> 00:05:37,791 You'll be assigned bunks soon. Uniform issue is next week. 73 00:05:38,584 --> 00:05:40,794 State your correct size on the form. 74 00:05:41,336 --> 00:05:42,879 No baggy hip-hop pants. 75 00:05:43,797 --> 00:05:45,631 Yes, I'm lookin' at you. 76 00:05:48,302 --> 00:05:53,014 Plastic toothbrush with a razor-blade melted right into it. 77 00:06:01,315 --> 00:06:03,275 Yeah, probably shouldn't have showed you that one. 78 00:06:04,109 --> 00:06:06,027 The women who made and used these items 79 00:06:06,153 --> 00:06:09,281 are now in the SHU or down at the max facility 80 00:06:09,364 --> 00:06:12,826 with added sentences. Their lives are basically over. 81 00:06:13,619 --> 00:06:15,162 Hello, ladies. 82 00:06:15,870 --> 00:06:17,247 I am Natalie Figueroa. 83 00:06:17,331 --> 00:06:19,625 I am the Executive Assistant to the warden. 84 00:06:19,707 --> 00:06:21,667 I try and visit often. 85 00:06:21,793 --> 00:06:23,295 If you have any concerns, 86 00:06:23,378 --> 00:06:25,547 specifically regarding your needs as women, 87 00:06:25,671 --> 00:06:28,842 please come to me. I will handle them personally. 88 00:06:30,844 --> 00:06:32,179 Yeah, she will. 89 00:06:32,304 --> 00:06:34,181 I had a question, actually. 90 00:06:34,306 --> 00:06:36,224 Today I'm only here as a formality. 91 00:06:43,357 --> 00:06:44,399 Next. 92 00:06:46,818 --> 00:06:47,944 Next. 93 00:06:51,198 --> 00:06:52,199 Next. 94 00:06:52,324 --> 00:06:53,617 No. Wait. 95 00:06:55,076 --> 00:06:56,203 Next. 96 00:06:58,704 --> 00:06:59,831 Seriously? 97 00:07:01,958 --> 00:07:02,959 Next. 98 00:07:07,339 --> 00:07:08,382 Come on. 99 00:07:20,477 --> 00:07:23,813 Dorm D, Dorm D, laundry is ready for drop-off. 100 00:07:30,195 --> 00:07:31,238 Uh-uh. 101 00:07:32,072 --> 00:07:33,323 They're not letting me eat. 102 00:07:34,782 --> 00:07:36,535 That sounds like a whole lot of your problem. 103 00:07:38,912 --> 00:07:41,248 We don't leave lunch till lunch is over. 104 00:08:13,697 --> 00:08:14,948 Mmm-hmm. 105 00:08:15,532 --> 00:08:16,783 Uh-huh. 106 00:08:18,535 --> 00:08:20,662 Come sit with us. Not with Crazy Eyes. 107 00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:28,128 Rough morning? 108 00:08:29,337 --> 00:08:30,422 Something like that. 109 00:08:30,505 --> 00:08:32,090 We should've warned you about Red. 110 00:08:32,633 --> 00:08:36,637 Well, I just didn't expect to be punished while I was getting punished. 111 00:08:38,764 --> 00:08:40,348 You gotta fix that. Make it right. 112 00:08:40,474 --> 00:08:41,475 How? 113 00:08:41,642 --> 00:08:45,479 I find it best to confront things head-on. 114 00:08:46,104 --> 00:08:48,565 Know what? I'm just gonna apologize. 115 00:08:48,649 --> 00:08:51,652 I'm just gonna very sincerely apologize. 116 00:08:51,735 --> 00:08:56,823 People make mistakes. People say stupid things all the time. 117 00:08:56,990 --> 00:08:58,032 Uh-huh. 118 00:08:59,534 --> 00:09:01,035 She's gotta understand that, right? 119 00:09:09,336 --> 00:09:10,754 Check this shit out. 120 00:09:18,804 --> 00:09:19,846 Who are you? 121 00:09:19,971 --> 00:09:21,598 Her daughter. Who are you? 122 00:09:21,723 --> 00:09:22,849 Her daughter. 123 00:09:32,066 --> 00:09:34,361 What's the matter, you don't wanna hit me again? 124 00:09:34,444 --> 00:09:36,946 From here on out, this place will hit you for me. 125 00:09:42,327 --> 00:09:45,664 This orange thing, it's like, I glow in the dark. 126 00:09:45,747 --> 00:09:47,708 The guard with the mustache keeps staring at me. 127 00:09:47,833 --> 00:09:49,376 Since when do you hate that? 128 00:09:54,005 --> 00:09:55,340 You got any extra khakis? 129 00:09:56,341 --> 00:09:59,553 No. Well, not in your size. 130 00:10:05,892 --> 00:10:09,771 And don't be in such a rush to get out of that orange, sabes? 131 00:10:09,896 --> 00:10:12,691 Once you're in these, you're old news. 132 00:10:18,655 --> 00:10:21,408 White girl said somethin' nasty about Red's food, 133 00:10:21,491 --> 00:10:23,931 then Red sent her a message 'cause white girl better recognize. 134 00:10:23,951 --> 00:10:24,911 A message? 135 00:10:25,036 --> 00:10:26,830 Egg McTampon. Rare. 136 00:10:26,913 --> 00:10:29,249 So now nobody's givin' her nothin' to eat. 137 00:10:29,332 --> 00:10:30,751 Not until Red say so. 138 00:10:31,501 --> 00:10:32,753 That's... 139 00:10:33,961 --> 00:10:34,962 Thanks. 140 00:10:35,088 --> 00:10:37,006 This ain't gonna get Red in trouble, right? 141 00:10:37,090 --> 00:10:38,299 'Cause I ain't no snitch. 142 00:10:38,425 --> 00:10:41,636 No. Of course not. I mean, probably not. 143 00:10:42,888 --> 00:10:44,097 I haven't decided yet. 144 00:10:44,972 --> 00:10:45,973 Hold up. 145 00:10:48,351 --> 00:10:49,436 Where my candy? 146 00:11:08,288 --> 00:11:09,955 Get me another towel. 147 00:11:22,260 --> 00:11:23,470 Is this a bad time? 148 00:11:23,553 --> 00:11:24,554 Moment. 149 00:11:38,819 --> 00:11:40,946 About what I said yesterday? 150 00:11:41,070 --> 00:11:45,742 It was careless and it was rude. And I am really sorry. 151 00:11:46,992 --> 00:11:49,496 I appreciate everything that you do here, 152 00:11:49,579 --> 00:11:51,832 I can't imagine how much work it takes, 153 00:11:51,957 --> 00:11:54,835 and since we're clearly gonna be spending some time together... 154 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:57,170 Don't forget the toes, Norma. 155 00:12:00,465 --> 00:12:07,138 I can tell you take pride in what you do, and I so respect that. 156 00:12:07,722 --> 00:12:09,474 If someone insulted my work... 157 00:12:09,557 --> 00:12:11,601 What is it, your work? 158 00:12:11,768 --> 00:12:12,769 Oh. 159 00:12:12,853 --> 00:12:16,272 Um, I make artisanal bath products. We got into Barneys. 160 00:12:17,774 --> 00:12:19,359 Artisanal? 161 00:12:19,860 --> 00:12:22,612 I'm just saying we're not that different, you and I. That's all. 162 00:12:24,698 --> 00:12:27,784 And I understand how stupid I've been. 163 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:30,620 I really apologize. 164 00:12:32,998 --> 00:12:34,165 I'm sorry. 165 00:12:44,258 --> 00:12:45,593 You seem sweet. 166 00:12:48,722 --> 00:12:50,390 You really do, honey. 167 00:12:54,059 --> 00:12:56,855 But I can't do shit with "I'm sorry." 168 00:12:57,772 --> 00:12:58,982 Not in here. 169 00:13:01,234 --> 00:13:02,903 Might not look like it, 170 00:13:03,277 --> 00:13:05,405 but there's rules in this place. 171 00:13:06,364 --> 00:13:08,491 The most important of which is, 172 00:13:09,242 --> 00:13:12,119 the second you're perceived as weak, 173 00:13:12,746 --> 00:13:14,539 you already are. 174 00:13:18,418 --> 00:13:19,961 What do you want me to do? 175 00:13:20,503 --> 00:13:22,255 You're a smart girl. 176 00:13:33,934 --> 00:13:35,602 Figure something out. 177 00:13:41,691 --> 00:13:43,902 That girl got some nice legs. 178 00:13:48,364 --> 00:13:49,532 What the fuck is this? 179 00:13:50,366 --> 00:13:52,619 Oh, it's my treat I'm savin'. Just leave it. 180 00:13:53,494 --> 00:13:54,621 Leave it? 181 00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:56,372 Fuck leave it. 182 00:13:56,456 --> 00:13:58,750 You can't put your sticky ice cream shit in here. 183 00:13:58,833 --> 00:14:01,962 It ain't just an ice cream. It's a King Cone. 184 00:14:03,254 --> 00:14:04,338 Man! 185 00:14:04,464 --> 00:14:05,465 Get off me, girl! 186 00:14:09,803 --> 00:14:11,012 Get this bitch off of me! 187 00:14:24,067 --> 00:14:25,986 B fucking took my hair out! 188 00:14:27,946 --> 00:14:30,239 B Dorm, Itza Martinez... 189 00:14:30,323 --> 00:14:32,575 Please tell me y'all ain't fighting over ice cream. 190 00:14:33,660 --> 00:14:34,702 King Cone. 191 00:15:04,691 --> 00:15:05,859 You okay, Chapman? 192 00:15:08,069 --> 00:15:09,195 Yeah. 193 00:15:10,530 --> 00:15:11,990 You know, I'd give you a pretzel 194 00:15:12,073 --> 00:15:13,874 but the walls have eyes, and I'm not retarded. 195 00:15:17,954 --> 00:15:22,208 When I first got here, I had troubles like you. 196 00:15:23,668 --> 00:15:26,046 There was a disagreement. 197 00:15:27,296 --> 00:15:28,923 Then we brawled. 198 00:15:29,549 --> 00:15:31,843 That's how you settled things. 199 00:15:32,468 --> 00:15:33,887 And if I'd have won, 200 00:15:34,470 --> 00:15:37,015 I'd have been la jefa. 201 00:15:37,098 --> 00:15:38,725 Instead of this. 202 00:15:40,393 --> 00:15:42,979 Thank God I got cancer. 203 00:15:43,646 --> 00:15:46,315 No one fucks with cancer. 204 00:15:51,738 --> 00:15:53,239 Good talk. 205 00:15:55,241 --> 00:15:56,534 Fuck! 206 00:16:13,093 --> 00:16:14,969 So it's nothing but lemonade? 207 00:16:15,511 --> 00:16:16,679 It's a cleanse. 208 00:16:16,763 --> 00:16:19,766 No vegetable juice? Fiber? 209 00:16:19,933 --> 00:16:22,351 We are going to deny ourselves sustenance 210 00:16:22,435 --> 00:16:25,897 while there are people that starve in Kinshasa? 211 00:16:28,942 --> 00:16:30,484 It's racist to just say "Africa." 212 00:16:31,611 --> 00:16:33,029 You put cayenne pepper in this? 213 00:16:33,113 --> 00:16:36,449 Yes! Yes. It flushes out toxins. 214 00:16:37,617 --> 00:16:40,787 We don't smoke, we don't snort crack. 215 00:16:42,371 --> 00:16:44,707 Honey, don't you think the little rocks would hurt your nose 216 00:16:44,791 --> 00:16:46,417 if you tried to snort crack? 217 00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:47,961 I think you mean coke. 218 00:16:48,086 --> 00:16:49,420 You know what I mean. 219 00:16:49,503 --> 00:16:52,465 You know, you don't let me buy food unless it's locally-grown, 220 00:16:52,590 --> 00:16:54,592 grass-fed, conflict-free... 221 00:16:54,675 --> 00:16:56,636 I'm perfectly fine doing this on my own. 222 00:16:56,844 --> 00:16:58,924 No. No, no, no, no. Honey, that's not what I'm saying. 223 00:16:58,972 --> 00:17:00,765 You're making fun of it. No. I'm just... 224 00:17:00,848 --> 00:17:02,100 When you said cleanse, 225 00:17:02,183 --> 00:17:04,269 I thought you meant we'd be eating more kale. 226 00:17:04,393 --> 00:17:07,105 We can eat more kale when we're transitioning back to food. 227 00:17:07,230 --> 00:17:08,231 Okay. 228 00:17:08,856 --> 00:17:10,441 What about dinners out? 229 00:17:11,818 --> 00:17:13,027 Weekend brunches? 230 00:17:13,153 --> 00:17:15,404 I mean, isn't this gonna turn us into anti-social losers? 231 00:17:15,613 --> 00:17:18,825 Well, it doesn't have to. 232 00:17:23,788 --> 00:17:30,003 I'm not gonna be the guy that shows up with his lemonade cuppie. 233 00:17:32,630 --> 00:17:35,008 Okay. Okay. 234 00:17:35,258 --> 00:17:38,845 For me, this is it for the next seven days. 235 00:17:40,180 --> 00:17:43,390 If you wanna back out, I'm not gonna love you any less. 236 00:17:44,184 --> 00:17:46,060 We did say that we were gonna do it together. 237 00:17:46,186 --> 00:17:49,272 But if you don't wanna be "that guy," 238 00:17:49,355 --> 00:17:53,609 I'm perfectly happy doing it on my own. 239 00:18:01,450 --> 00:18:02,743 Well, where's the fun in that? 240 00:18:02,910 --> 00:18:04,996 See? 241 00:18:10,710 --> 00:18:12,295 Oh, God. 242 00:18:14,047 --> 00:18:16,090 Number four, on the left. Next! 243 00:18:24,724 --> 00:18:26,184 Turn around. 244 00:18:27,727 --> 00:18:29,312 Hold it right there. 245 00:18:33,066 --> 00:18:34,067 Next! 246 00:18:34,150 --> 00:18:35,902 Oh, look, it's the fiance. 247 00:18:36,694 --> 00:18:37,820 Put your bag down, please. 248 00:18:37,904 --> 00:18:38,946 I should be on the list. 249 00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:41,908 And I should be on American Idol, but I can't sing for shit. 250 00:18:46,079 --> 00:18:47,538 No Larry Bloom here. 251 00:18:47,705 --> 00:18:48,789 What? 252 00:18:52,919 --> 00:18:54,254 Oh, this is from last week. 253 00:18:57,215 --> 00:18:58,549 Where's this week's? 254 00:18:58,632 --> 00:19:00,385 In another office. 255 00:19:16,442 --> 00:19:17,484 Have a seat. 256 00:19:17,610 --> 00:19:20,780 When in the visitation room, you're allowed two hugs, 257 00:19:21,114 --> 00:19:23,741 one on arrival, and one on departure. 258 00:19:47,807 --> 00:19:50,059 Okay, try not to crowd around, ladies. Come on, now. 259 00:19:51,477 --> 00:19:53,104 Thank you. Itza Martinez again... 260 00:19:53,187 --> 00:19:54,563 Thank you. 261 00:19:59,944 --> 00:20:01,154 Can I have some gum? 262 00:20:02,322 --> 00:20:05,866 Sorry. Can't do that. Inmates aren't allowed. 263 00:20:05,992 --> 00:20:08,035 I get it. You can't give special treatment. 264 00:20:08,661 --> 00:20:10,455 It'd look funny. Like I liked you. 265 00:20:12,665 --> 00:20:13,707 Don't you? 266 00:20:23,176 --> 00:20:24,677 Oh, my God, honey! 267 00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:26,179 Oh, baby. Hey! Hi. 268 00:20:26,304 --> 00:20:27,596 Honey. Oh! Hi. 269 00:20:27,721 --> 00:20:28,889 That's enough. 270 00:20:30,808 --> 00:20:31,851 Sorry. I'm so sorry I'm late. 271 00:20:31,934 --> 00:20:32,935 No. It's fine. 272 00:20:33,019 --> 00:20:34,020 I swear I was here, 273 00:20:34,145 --> 00:20:35,813 but I think they were, like, deliberately fucking with me. 274 00:20:35,896 --> 00:20:37,982 No, whatever, it's fine. You're here. Oh! 275 00:20:38,107 --> 00:20:39,150 You look great! 276 00:20:39,233 --> 00:20:40,318 I mean, who knew you could rock orange? 277 00:20:40,401 --> 00:20:41,402 Please. Come on! 278 00:20:41,527 --> 00:20:42,528 Seriously, 279 00:20:42,611 --> 00:20:44,697 and your face is like all cheekboney. 280 00:20:44,864 --> 00:20:48,117 Well, I haven't eaten since Wednesday. 281 00:20:48,201 --> 00:20:49,202 What? 282 00:20:49,827 --> 00:20:50,995 She's starving me out. 283 00:20:51,078 --> 00:20:52,205 Who? 284 00:20:54,665 --> 00:20:56,042 Oh, my God. 285 00:20:56,834 --> 00:20:57,835 Do you have any change? 286 00:20:58,627 --> 00:21:01,672 Oh, yeah. Yeah, I think so. What do you want? 287 00:21:01,881 --> 00:21:04,550 Literally anything. Go. 288 00:21:16,270 --> 00:21:17,313 No. 289 00:21:18,272 --> 00:21:19,472 I don't think they work, honey. 290 00:21:19,565 --> 00:21:20,607 No. 291 00:21:22,402 --> 00:21:23,528 No! No. 292 00:21:23,610 --> 00:21:26,322 Inmate, step away from the machine. 293 00:21:27,031 --> 00:21:28,152 He just called you "inmate." 294 00:21:28,157 --> 00:21:29,950 You too, sir. Sorry. 295 00:21:32,078 --> 00:21:33,413 This is her. She did this. 296 00:21:33,496 --> 00:21:34,747 Who? Who are you talking about? 297 00:21:34,830 --> 00:21:36,499 The woman who runs the kitchen. 298 00:21:36,582 --> 00:21:38,251 What? Why are we whispering? 299 00:21:39,210 --> 00:21:42,004 She's starving me out. I insulted the food. 300 00:21:42,088 --> 00:21:43,423 Oh, Piper. 301 00:21:44,006 --> 00:21:45,425 Your foot in mouth disease? 302 00:21:45,508 --> 00:21:47,218 I'm an idiot. 303 00:21:47,301 --> 00:21:49,429 She's issued a fucking fatwa against me. 304 00:21:52,014 --> 00:21:53,414 I think I'm gonna have to fight her. 305 00:21:53,474 --> 00:21:54,475 What? 306 00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:56,852 How am I supposed to prison-fight an old Russian lady 307 00:21:56,936 --> 00:21:58,729 with back problems? 308 00:21:58,812 --> 00:22:01,648 Hey, Piper, come on. You're not. That's ridiculous. 309 00:22:01,774 --> 00:22:05,570 You don't have to fight anybody. Okay? Hey, hey, hey, stop. Stop. 310 00:22:05,694 --> 00:22:06,779 No touching. 311 00:22:06,946 --> 00:22:08,114 Jesus. 312 00:22:09,073 --> 00:22:11,075 It's gonna be okay. Mmm. 313 00:22:11,451 --> 00:22:12,452 All right? Uh-uh. 314 00:22:12,618 --> 00:22:14,098 Your commissary money's coming, right? 315 00:22:14,161 --> 00:22:16,872 I sent the check the minute I left here. 316 00:22:16,956 --> 00:22:17,998 Express mail. 317 00:22:18,416 --> 00:22:20,096 Even if you have to live off Snickers bars, 318 00:22:20,126 --> 00:22:21,626 it's gonna be okay. 319 00:22:28,384 --> 00:22:30,052 I hate that you're seeing me like this. 320 00:22:30,970 --> 00:22:32,179 At least I get to see you. 321 00:22:35,808 --> 00:22:37,560 Tell me that you're not watching Mad Men. 322 00:22:37,642 --> 00:22:38,643 What? 323 00:22:39,103 --> 00:22:41,272 Promise me you're not watching Mad Men without me, 324 00:22:41,355 --> 00:22:44,733 that when I get out of here, we're gonna binge watch it, together, 325 00:22:44,817 --> 00:22:46,986 in bed, with take-out from... 326 00:22:47,069 --> 00:22:48,321 Gertie's? 327 00:22:48,446 --> 00:22:49,696 Yes. Yes. 328 00:22:49,822 --> 00:22:51,782 Yes. Of course. 100%. 329 00:22:53,658 --> 00:22:56,203 Visiting hours have come to a close. 330 00:22:56,329 --> 00:22:58,872 Jesus. Really? That was like two minutes. 331 00:22:58,998 --> 00:23:01,167 Visitors, please make your way to the exit. 332 00:23:01,501 --> 00:23:02,502 We can hug again. 333 00:23:02,627 --> 00:23:03,668 What? 334 00:23:03,794 --> 00:23:05,087 Once coming in, once going out. 335 00:23:05,463 --> 00:23:06,631 Come here. 336 00:23:07,923 --> 00:23:09,008 Oh! 337 00:23:10,635 --> 00:23:11,718 I love you, babe. 338 00:23:51,509 --> 00:23:52,677 Sorry. 339 00:24:04,230 --> 00:24:05,481 Red? 340 00:24:06,691 --> 00:24:07,732 Red? 341 00:24:12,363 --> 00:24:13,364 What is it? 342 00:24:15,032 --> 00:24:16,283 Betty's dead. 343 00:24:22,665 --> 00:24:24,500 She was a good girl. 344 00:24:24,584 --> 00:24:26,085 No one heard her go. 345 00:24:26,751 --> 00:24:28,212 Get over it. It's a freezer. 346 00:24:29,380 --> 00:24:32,757 See, what happened here was a breach in the main coolant line. 347 00:24:32,925 --> 00:24:34,427 Big, nasty breach. 348 00:24:34,759 --> 00:24:36,429 Ugly breach. Bad, bad breach. 349 00:24:36,554 --> 00:24:38,013 What's that smell? 350 00:24:38,598 --> 00:24:39,682 That's the Freon. 351 00:24:40,349 --> 00:24:42,142 Some people use it for huffing. 352 00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:44,645 Makes for a super intense, but short-lived high. 353 00:24:44,769 --> 00:24:48,274 Similar to crack, uh, but without the migraines. 354 00:24:50,943 --> 00:24:53,696 Put those in ice water. Don't stack those, Gina. 355 00:24:54,947 --> 00:24:56,115 Nice pussy. 356 00:24:56,323 --> 00:24:57,366 Don't ask. 357 00:24:57,450 --> 00:24:59,118 I don't intend to. 358 00:24:59,326 --> 00:25:01,127 Thanksgiving's coming twice this year, ladies. 359 00:25:01,245 --> 00:25:02,829 Spread the word. 360 00:25:04,582 --> 00:25:07,543 Okay, I understand what you have to do. 361 00:25:07,627 --> 00:25:08,919 What? 362 00:25:09,044 --> 00:25:10,504 I'm not a fighter. 363 00:25:11,213 --> 00:25:12,256 Go ahead. 364 00:25:12,339 --> 00:25:13,716 I'm a little busy here. Pick up those rags. 365 00:25:13,798 --> 00:25:14,958 I'm not going to swing first. 366 00:25:14,967 --> 00:25:16,009 Good. 367 00:25:16,135 --> 00:25:17,470 Just hit me and get it over with. 368 00:25:17,595 --> 00:25:18,887 I said I'm a little busy. 369 00:25:18,971 --> 00:25:20,347 I'm not leaving until you do it. 370 00:25:21,307 --> 00:25:22,975 Wow. 371 00:25:24,310 --> 00:25:25,645 You want me to hit you? 372 00:25:25,770 --> 00:25:26,979 Yeah. 373 00:25:27,062 --> 00:25:28,813 Okay, get ready. 374 00:25:32,485 --> 00:25:35,404 You called my food disgusting. 375 00:25:39,575 --> 00:25:43,912 You're not getting hazed, you're not getting harassed, 376 00:25:45,956 --> 00:25:47,416 you're getting starved. 377 00:25:48,751 --> 00:25:50,252 To death. 378 00:25:50,336 --> 00:25:54,340 You'll leave Litchfield as a skeleton in a body bag. 379 00:25:55,174 --> 00:25:56,216 Pow! 380 00:25:57,217 --> 00:26:00,513 Now, march your yuppie ass outta my kitchen. 381 00:26:05,267 --> 00:26:08,521 Slowly, so you don't burn too many calories. 382 00:26:11,691 --> 00:26:14,443 So the third time, same thing happens. 383 00:26:14,527 --> 00:26:17,279 And the farmer looks at his wife, then back at the penguin, 384 00:26:17,363 --> 00:26:20,282 and finally the penguin goes, 385 00:26:22,702 --> 00:26:27,039 "He's not an eggplant, man. He's retarded." 386 00:26:30,417 --> 00:26:31,711 You get it? 'Cause he... 387 00:26:31,876 --> 00:26:32,877 We get it. 388 00:26:34,921 --> 00:26:37,424 My brother was retarded. 389 00:26:37,966 --> 00:26:39,385 Oh, so sorry to hear that. 390 00:26:41,762 --> 00:26:43,389 You know, my husband's a little slow. 391 00:26:44,223 --> 00:26:45,683 Says he was dropped on his head 392 00:26:45,766 --> 00:26:47,727 when he was born. Just my luck. 393 00:26:47,852 --> 00:26:50,688 They couldn't have dropped him on his dick? 394 00:26:51,146 --> 00:26:53,190 I think I slept wrong last night. 395 00:26:53,273 --> 00:26:55,275 Should we call it a short walk today, ladies? 396 00:26:55,401 --> 00:26:56,402 Yes. 397 00:26:56,485 --> 00:26:57,645 Oh, you barely broke a sweat. 398 00:26:58,070 --> 00:26:59,904 Oh, my son has dentist appointment. 399 00:26:59,988 --> 00:27:01,073 Oh, okay. 400 00:27:01,198 --> 00:27:02,408 We're close to your house, no? 401 00:27:02,533 --> 00:27:03,659 Yeah. Right over there. 402 00:27:04,410 --> 00:27:05,619 Same time tomorrow? 403 00:27:05,745 --> 00:27:07,162 We'll let you know. 404 00:27:18,716 --> 00:27:19,842 Oh, shit! 405 00:27:22,219 --> 00:27:23,637 Did no one think to turn this off? 406 00:27:34,939 --> 00:27:36,024 Where is his highness? 407 00:27:38,694 --> 00:27:39,737 You're out of bounds. 408 00:27:39,820 --> 00:27:41,530 Healy? Sir, I told her not to... 409 00:27:41,614 --> 00:27:43,449 Jesus Christ! 410 00:27:43,657 --> 00:27:44,949 I need a new freezer. 411 00:27:45,618 --> 00:27:47,369 We can talk about this later, Red. 412 00:27:47,453 --> 00:27:49,705 You have been saying that for three years. 413 00:27:50,456 --> 00:27:52,617 We're dealing with a very serious budget situation here. 414 00:27:53,250 --> 00:27:54,418 Should I subdue the inmate? 415 00:27:54,501 --> 00:27:58,672 The warden has been very clear about spending this quarter. 416 00:27:59,632 --> 00:28:02,718 You want me to walk? I'll walk, happily. 417 00:28:04,136 --> 00:28:06,971 Remember the last time I gave back the keys to the kitchen? 418 00:28:08,056 --> 00:28:09,266 I'll see what I can do. 419 00:28:10,559 --> 00:28:11,894 Thank you. 420 00:28:15,481 --> 00:28:18,525 Ugh, like a dying animal it smells in there. 421 00:28:18,651 --> 00:28:21,320 A dying animal, or just a man who eats your food? 422 00:28:23,322 --> 00:28:24,782 Ugh with you, too. 423 00:28:26,991 --> 00:28:30,746 That smells fantastic. It's like fresh muffins. 424 00:28:30,830 --> 00:28:32,289 Dried blueberries. 425 00:28:32,414 --> 00:28:34,207 Twelve fuckin' pounds of 'em. 426 00:28:34,583 --> 00:28:37,837 Funnest hobby ever. You seen my headphones? 427 00:28:37,962 --> 00:28:38,963 Uh, left drawer. 428 00:28:39,129 --> 00:28:40,409 So you can put anything in there? 429 00:28:40,464 --> 00:28:41,507 Just about. 430 00:28:41,674 --> 00:28:45,051 Peppermint, basil, grapefruits, vanilla. 431 00:28:45,177 --> 00:28:46,136 She won't do chocolate. 432 00:28:46,219 --> 00:28:48,180 It never works. Or popcorn. 433 00:28:48,263 --> 00:28:50,140 We're making soap, not Jelly Bellys. 434 00:28:50,223 --> 00:28:51,391 Sweet. 435 00:28:52,225 --> 00:28:53,665 You know, for Amy, I think you'd want 436 00:28:53,686 --> 00:28:55,020 something more along the lines 437 00:28:55,145 --> 00:28:58,774 of sage, patchouli, maybe eucalyptus? 438 00:28:59,149 --> 00:29:01,067 Oh, she's allergic to eucalyptus, 439 00:29:01,193 --> 00:29:03,069 or she hates it. I can't remember. 440 00:29:03,195 --> 00:29:04,355 Really? Who hates eucalyptus? 441 00:29:04,363 --> 00:29:07,157 Larry's mother. She thinks they're "dirty trees." 442 00:29:07,366 --> 00:29:08,447 You're still with that guy? 443 00:29:08,993 --> 00:29:10,160 Thought you wouldn't make it two months. 444 00:29:10,243 --> 00:29:12,162 Pete! What? You said so, too. 445 00:29:13,914 --> 00:29:15,207 They're moving in together. 446 00:29:15,290 --> 00:29:19,003 Already? Shit. You are still a lesbian. 447 00:29:22,047 --> 00:29:23,298 I'm out, ladies. Okay. 448 00:29:27,011 --> 00:29:29,013 You could sell these, you know. 449 00:29:30,430 --> 00:29:33,726 At farmers markets, little boutique stores. 450 00:29:33,934 --> 00:29:35,310 I just kinda like making 'em. 451 00:29:36,645 --> 00:29:37,897 I could be your partner. 452 00:29:38,564 --> 00:29:39,565 What? 453 00:29:41,107 --> 00:29:42,985 This could be something. 454 00:29:43,068 --> 00:29:44,820 I mean, this could be a thing, Pol. 455 00:29:45,988 --> 00:29:49,033 Market it right and package it right, this is money. 456 00:29:49,199 --> 00:29:52,912 I mean, it smells so fucking good in here. 457 00:29:53,746 --> 00:29:55,247 I can make this money. 458 00:29:55,831 --> 00:29:57,583 I make lotions, too. 459 00:30:01,461 --> 00:30:03,505 Yo, y'all got headphones for movie night? 460 00:30:03,589 --> 00:30:05,340 Sold the last pair this morning. 461 00:30:05,424 --> 00:30:08,844 That's some bullshit. I ain't tryin' to watch no silent movie. 462 00:30:09,094 --> 00:30:10,554 Sold out. Next. 463 00:30:10,930 --> 00:30:14,725 Spanish ladies are calling you La Llorona, the wailing lady. 464 00:30:16,060 --> 00:30:17,394 Well, they would've screamed just as loud 465 00:30:17,477 --> 00:30:19,312 if someone handed them a used tampon sandwich. 466 00:30:19,438 --> 00:30:20,689 Oh, yeah. 467 00:30:21,273 --> 00:30:23,776 Or if they suddenly saw an ex-girlfriend in prison. 468 00:30:23,901 --> 00:30:24,985 Hey, what's her name? Alex? 469 00:30:27,195 --> 00:30:28,280 What did she say to you? 470 00:30:28,447 --> 00:30:31,241 Not a word. I just know dyke drama when I see it. 471 00:30:33,159 --> 00:30:34,453 You gonna buy something or not? 472 00:30:34,578 --> 00:30:37,790 Yes. Hi, um, I should have some credit here. 473 00:30:37,915 --> 00:30:41,126 My fiance sent a check on Wednesday. 474 00:30:41,460 --> 00:30:43,503 Take seven day to process. 475 00:30:43,712 --> 00:30:45,792 You can use mine. It's not like you're going anywhere. 476 00:30:45,839 --> 00:30:46,799 For food? 477 00:30:46,924 --> 00:30:47,925 Fuck no. 478 00:30:48,300 --> 00:30:49,342 Okay. 479 00:30:49,509 --> 00:30:50,636 Yo, Chang. 480 00:30:52,137 --> 00:30:53,513 So, some rubber gloves. 481 00:30:55,557 --> 00:30:57,225 Okay, so maybe some cocoa butter? 482 00:30:57,309 --> 00:30:58,351 Uh, cocoa butter? 483 00:30:59,394 --> 00:31:02,815 Maybe like a sieve of some kind. A strainer? 484 00:31:03,023 --> 00:31:05,943 Okay. All right. Yo, you got a strainer? 485 00:31:12,992 --> 00:31:15,786 This is a cup. Knock yourself out. 486 00:31:17,203 --> 00:31:19,081 You know how often I come by new weave? 487 00:31:19,164 --> 00:31:20,833 You probably gonna look like this till Christmas. 488 00:31:20,916 --> 00:31:23,961 Uh-uh. I paid you seven bottles of Pantene for this shit. 489 00:31:24,044 --> 00:31:26,922 Ain't my fault you went all UFC over a King Cone. 490 00:31:27,131 --> 00:31:28,966 And if you call it "shit" one more time, 491 00:31:29,133 --> 00:31:31,010 you can take your ass down to Danita. 492 00:31:31,677 --> 00:31:32,886 How much to fix it? 493 00:31:33,095 --> 00:31:34,387 Mmm-hmm. - Excuse me? 494 00:31:35,388 --> 00:31:38,183 Hi. I'm Chapman. 495 00:31:41,227 --> 00:31:43,313 Yeah, that's me. Um... 496 00:31:43,939 --> 00:31:46,483 I heard you might have something that I need. 497 00:31:46,608 --> 00:31:48,568 J. Crew is around the corner. 498 00:31:50,112 --> 00:31:51,655 Yeah. Um... 499 00:31:52,447 --> 00:31:58,037 Cocoa butter, or shea butter? Do you have either of those? 500 00:31:58,162 --> 00:31:59,579 Maybe. 501 00:31:59,705 --> 00:32:01,623 I would just need an ounce or two. 502 00:32:02,207 --> 00:32:03,727 Ain't you the one they're starving out? 503 00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:05,961 Yeah. 504 00:32:06,170 --> 00:32:08,881 You got some fucked-up priorities. 505 00:32:09,006 --> 00:32:10,298 We work on a barter system here. 506 00:32:10,382 --> 00:32:11,633 You know what that means, right? 507 00:32:11,717 --> 00:32:12,718 Yes. 508 00:32:12,843 --> 00:32:15,554 Three shower caps or a round brush. 509 00:32:15,679 --> 00:32:16,959 Whichever they got at commissary. 510 00:32:17,556 --> 00:32:20,851 Gladly. I will get them to you the second that my money comes in. 511 00:32:23,228 --> 00:32:24,479 Credit declined. 512 00:32:25,022 --> 00:32:26,023 Please. 513 00:32:27,357 --> 00:32:29,484 "Please" is for commissary hoes and Oliver Twist. 514 00:32:31,319 --> 00:32:33,072 Hold up. Some of us tryin' to work here. 515 00:32:33,155 --> 00:32:34,156 I got an idea. 516 00:32:35,782 --> 00:32:37,076 But you ain't gonna like it. 517 00:32:43,623 --> 00:32:45,584 Got that new 'do, Boo. 518 00:33:02,184 --> 00:33:03,769 Chapman's going around asking for weird stuff, Red. 519 00:33:03,894 --> 00:33:04,937 What stuff? 520 00:33:05,020 --> 00:33:06,939 She's trying to get her hands on hot peppers. 521 00:33:07,022 --> 00:33:08,232 You think she's gonna mace you? 522 00:33:08,314 --> 00:33:10,109 I don't think so. 523 00:33:10,192 --> 00:33:13,653 But if she does, worst case, I'll get off my feet for a week. 524 00:33:13,779 --> 00:33:15,280 No, but it wouldn't hurt your feet. 525 00:33:15,363 --> 00:33:17,323 It's an expression. Mace burns your eyes. 526 00:33:17,449 --> 00:33:19,325 Jesus, God. 527 00:33:22,370 --> 00:33:23,413 Oh. 528 00:33:29,086 --> 00:33:30,378 You okay, Chapman? 529 00:33:33,632 --> 00:33:35,134 Tonight's movie will be 530 00:33:35,259 --> 00:33:37,510 the airplane edit of Good Luck Chuck, 531 00:33:37,636 --> 00:33:41,181 which Roger Ebert gives one star. 8:00 p.m. 532 00:33:41,265 --> 00:33:42,390 Are you the new girl? 533 00:33:44,143 --> 00:33:47,687 Yes, I am. Piper. 534 00:33:50,899 --> 00:33:52,651 And you are? 535 00:33:52,734 --> 00:33:57,363 Uh, Sue. It's short for Susie, which is short for Suzanne. 536 00:33:57,656 --> 00:33:59,199 You like spicy food? 537 00:34:02,494 --> 00:34:03,536 Sometimes. 538 00:34:03,662 --> 00:34:06,123 One of my girlfriends, she was Mexican, real-talk. 539 00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:08,041 Uh... 540 00:34:08,167 --> 00:34:09,668 She gone now, 541 00:34:11,003 --> 00:34:12,963 but she left these. 542 00:34:19,636 --> 00:34:21,116 I have nothing to trade you for those. 543 00:34:21,180 --> 00:34:24,016 People forget we was all new here once. 544 00:34:26,852 --> 00:34:28,436 It's good to know you ain't alone. 545 00:34:43,368 --> 00:34:44,911 This feels awesome! 546 00:34:46,079 --> 00:34:48,498 My senses feel heightened, I'm like a fucking werewolf. 547 00:34:48,581 --> 00:34:49,624 Larry? 548 00:34:49,749 --> 00:34:52,627 My skin is clear, I'm lighter on my feet, 549 00:34:52,711 --> 00:34:53,879 and in the bathroom this morning... 550 00:34:54,004 --> 00:34:54,963 Oh, please. 551 00:34:55,047 --> 00:34:58,717 Epic. Even better than yesterday. Lord of the Rings. 552 00:35:02,721 --> 00:35:08,101 What if we only did this for five days? 553 00:35:11,188 --> 00:35:12,522 You wanna cut it short? 554 00:35:13,232 --> 00:35:15,234 Not cut it short. Just... 555 00:35:17,277 --> 00:35:18,403 Yes. 556 00:35:20,864 --> 00:35:22,615 This was your idea. 557 00:35:22,741 --> 00:35:25,077 Can we not make it a thing? This doesn't have to be a thing. 558 00:35:25,202 --> 00:35:26,452 It's not a competition. 559 00:35:26,578 --> 00:35:28,330 I mean, you can't win the Master Cleanse. 560 00:35:28,663 --> 00:35:29,915 Can't I? 561 00:35:31,166 --> 00:35:34,211 Here, drink up, love. 562 00:35:34,627 --> 00:35:36,004 All right? 563 00:35:36,421 --> 00:35:37,422 You'll feel better. 564 00:35:45,722 --> 00:35:46,765 What is that? 565 00:35:46,890 --> 00:35:48,433 You are not a werewolf. 566 00:35:48,516 --> 00:35:49,935 Oh. 567 00:35:51,019 --> 00:35:52,229 What are you doing? 568 00:35:52,979 --> 00:35:55,023 You fucker. Seriously? 569 00:35:55,982 --> 00:35:57,317 It was all that we had. 570 00:35:57,442 --> 00:35:59,986 Mr. Fox's Honey Barbecue Pork Rinds? 571 00:36:00,112 --> 00:36:01,154 They're baked. 572 00:36:01,321 --> 00:36:03,407 Piper, we were in this together. 573 00:36:03,489 --> 00:36:05,992 I know, I'm sorry. 574 00:36:07,411 --> 00:36:09,162 Oh, God. 575 00:36:12,457 --> 00:36:13,833 You smell so good. 576 00:36:15,919 --> 00:36:18,463 Oh, my God. Come here. 577 00:36:28,974 --> 00:36:30,183 I totally win. 578 00:36:34,020 --> 00:36:39,401 Two, nine and seventeen, dinner is now available. 579 00:36:42,737 --> 00:36:43,780 Aw. 580 00:36:44,281 --> 00:36:46,325 Don't be so sad. 581 00:36:46,450 --> 00:36:48,410 Poor little baby. 582 00:36:50,954 --> 00:36:53,498 Dinner's in five. I hear it's a big one. 583 00:36:53,623 --> 00:36:54,916 Yum, yum. 584 00:37:32,745 --> 00:37:34,664 Thank you, dead bitch. 585 00:37:34,747 --> 00:37:36,147 Don't forget, ladies, 586 00:37:36,166 --> 00:37:38,084 your usual meal is 1,500 calories. 587 00:37:38,210 --> 00:37:39,503 Ain't nobody got this. 588 00:37:39,627 --> 00:37:40,962 It's that hotness. Beware of overeating. 589 00:37:41,087 --> 00:37:42,464 That new shit. 590 00:37:42,547 --> 00:37:45,217 My hair is yellow as that corn right there, girl. 591 00:37:48,594 --> 00:37:49,595 No, no, no. Look, I love these things. 592 00:37:49,721 --> 00:37:50,722 I want extra. 593 00:37:50,805 --> 00:37:52,307 Yeah, can I get some more corn? 594 00:37:52,391 --> 00:37:53,683 No. 595 00:39:26,234 --> 00:39:29,404 Navi. Amy. 596 00:39:33,908 --> 00:39:35,827 Forgot I even had this. 597 00:39:36,911 --> 00:39:39,247 Oh, no thanks, love, I'm too old for hooch. 598 00:39:39,331 --> 00:39:42,667 Don't insult me. Single malt. 12 year. 599 00:39:48,173 --> 00:39:50,383 Jesus Christ! 600 00:39:50,509 --> 00:39:54,137 And that was in '04. It's only gotten better. 601 00:39:54,220 --> 00:39:55,597 So have we. 602 00:39:55,680 --> 00:39:57,140 Tell my ass. 603 00:40:53,905 --> 00:40:55,281 Oh, no. 604 00:40:57,450 --> 00:40:59,077 It's the one without culture. 605 00:41:00,745 --> 00:41:01,787 Red. 606 00:41:01,913 --> 00:41:05,542 And the penguin goes, "He's not an eggplant, he's retarded." 607 00:41:05,625 --> 00:41:07,001 It's fucking funny. 608 00:41:07,293 --> 00:41:08,253 It's just not. 609 00:41:09,421 --> 00:41:10,838 That awful dye job... 610 00:41:10,922 --> 00:41:12,632 on your head make me giggle though. 611 00:41:12,757 --> 00:41:13,758 You... 612 00:41:14,259 --> 00:41:15,301 Aah! 613 00:41:17,803 --> 00:41:20,265 You popped her tit! 614 00:41:20,390 --> 00:41:21,807 Oh, shit. 615 00:41:22,559 --> 00:41:26,563 What the fuck were you thinking? After all Ganya's done for us. 616 00:41:27,146 --> 00:41:28,440 He loved those tits. 617 00:41:28,565 --> 00:41:30,775 He'll get them back. There's plenty more of them at the tit store. 618 00:41:30,900 --> 00:41:33,778 Did you count to 10? You're supposed to count to 10. 619 00:41:33,986 --> 00:41:35,947 I never even wanted to speak to those pizdy! 620 00:41:36,030 --> 00:41:37,156 You made me. 621 00:41:37,449 --> 00:41:38,950 Why did you do such a thing? 622 00:41:39,075 --> 00:41:42,787 Because they left me out! Because they made fun of me! 623 00:41:42,870 --> 00:41:46,374 Because no matter how hard you try and how much we want it, 624 00:41:46,458 --> 00:41:48,084 there's the people who serve the bread, 625 00:41:48,167 --> 00:41:49,711 and the people who eat the bread! 626 00:41:49,794 --> 00:41:54,132 And for once, it would be nice if you would be on my side. 627 00:42:02,223 --> 00:42:04,934 I'm on your side, Galya. 628 00:42:05,351 --> 00:42:06,645 I'm with you. 629 00:42:06,978 --> 00:42:12,817 And together we gotta figure this out, cause this is bad. Real bad. 630 00:42:13,652 --> 00:42:14,819 How bad? 631 00:42:16,988 --> 00:42:19,365 They want $60,000. 632 00:42:20,533 --> 00:42:23,703 No boob job costs $60,000. 633 00:42:23,828 --> 00:42:25,163 It's crazy. 634 00:42:25,246 --> 00:42:26,581 This one does. 635 00:42:28,500 --> 00:42:32,211 I was... I was just... 636 00:42:34,088 --> 00:42:35,715 They're so mean. 637 00:42:36,132 --> 00:42:37,550 So are the men they married. 638 00:42:39,135 --> 00:42:40,553 They meaner. 639 00:42:43,598 --> 00:42:45,391 I'm sorry, Dima. 640 00:42:50,438 --> 00:42:52,857 We'll figure out something. 641 00:42:54,484 --> 00:42:55,777 We always do. 642 00:42:58,571 --> 00:42:59,739 It's okay. 643 00:43:08,122 --> 00:43:09,207 Red? 644 00:43:10,082 --> 00:43:11,125 She's busy. 645 00:43:11,250 --> 00:43:12,752 This'll only take a second. 646 00:43:18,174 --> 00:43:19,718 For your back. 647 00:43:20,051 --> 00:43:21,761 It's jalapeno rub. 648 00:43:22,053 --> 00:43:23,262 I made it myself. 649 00:43:26,224 --> 00:43:27,684 The capsaicin in the peppers 650 00:43:27,767 --> 00:43:29,487 creates heat which is good for sore muscles, 651 00:43:29,561 --> 00:43:32,230 and the cocoa butter is gentle on the skin. 652 00:43:34,982 --> 00:43:38,570 We have a similar product in our line and my dad swears by it. 653 00:43:38,695 --> 00:43:39,904 He's got sciatica. 654 00:43:40,029 --> 00:43:41,989 These are wrong. They should say "March." 655 00:43:44,325 --> 00:43:45,493 You can go now. 656 00:43:50,582 --> 00:43:53,626 Count time starts now. Count time! 657 00:44:07,473 --> 00:44:08,683 Line it up. Stop the chatter. 658 00:44:14,814 --> 00:44:16,107 Count time! 659 00:44:21,654 --> 00:44:22,947 Dorm A, one through 20. 660 00:44:36,586 --> 00:44:38,026 Get that garbage out of there. 661 00:44:42,675 --> 00:44:44,803 All good. Thank you, ladies. 662 00:44:52,811 --> 00:44:53,977 All good. 663 00:45:18,878 --> 00:45:21,881 Wilson into left field. Beautiful hit. 664 00:45:22,632 --> 00:45:25,050 ...eludes one tackler. And he's brought down hard. 665 00:45:25,176 --> 00:45:26,970 "One imagines somewhere in an attic 666 00:45:27,178 --> 00:45:29,639 "there's a painting of him that's rapidly aging." 667 00:45:29,722 --> 00:45:31,557 For a guy from Ad Age, he can really write. 668 00:45:31,724 --> 00:45:33,392 He also says you're married. 669 00:45:33,601 --> 00:45:37,522 Jesus. He never asked me that. Did he check any facts? 670 00:45:37,647 --> 00:45:39,357 You didn't give him any facts. 671 00:45:39,482 --> 00:45:41,192 He had to make some assumptions. 672 00:45:41,359 --> 00:45:45,321 My job is to write ads, not go around talking about who I am. 673 00:45:45,446 --> 00:45:46,531 Who knows who you are? 674 00:45:46,614 --> 00:45:49,534 This was supposed to be an advertisement for the firm. 675 00:45:49,659 --> 00:45:50,869 Why do you have so many copies? 676 00:45:50,952 --> 00:45:52,119 I bought one to read. 677 00:45:52,203 --> 00:45:54,123 And I was going to buy one to frame in reception. 678 00:45:55,038 --> 00:45:57,208 That new freezer cost more than my car. 679 00:45:57,458 --> 00:45:59,460 Freon leak, huh? 680 00:45:59,544 --> 00:46:00,753 Most likely. 681 00:46:00,879 --> 00:46:04,716 You know, huffers, addicts. Anything to get high. 682 00:46:05,967 --> 00:46:08,553 Anyone in here huff that much Freon, 683 00:46:08,636 --> 00:46:11,222 we'd have a body to show for it. 684 00:46:15,018 --> 00:46:18,187 Even you gotta know when you're gettin' played. 685 00:46:19,355 --> 00:46:22,358 Catholic, Buddhist, Jewish and Muslim services 686 00:46:22,441 --> 00:46:25,403 will begin tomorrow in the chapel at 9:00 a.m. 687 00:46:40,543 --> 00:46:42,253 They said to give you this. 688 00:46:44,797 --> 00:46:48,760 Oh, God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, it worked? 689 00:46:48,885 --> 00:46:51,012 It must've worked. 690 00:46:51,094 --> 00:46:53,056 Your back cream? Yeah. 691 00:46:53,138 --> 00:46:55,391 She said it burned, it made her smell like a Puerto Rican, 692 00:46:55,474 --> 00:46:56,559 but you're good now. 693 00:46:56,642 --> 00:46:59,604 Everyone saw how hard you worked. "A" for Effort. 694 00:47:01,940 --> 00:47:02,982 Mmm. 695 00:47:05,150 --> 00:47:07,319 It's not that good. 696 00:47:07,445 --> 00:47:08,696 Mmm-hmm. 697 00:47:12,951 --> 00:47:14,786 - Next. - Thank you. 698 00:47:25,296 --> 00:47:26,547 Next. 699 00:47:28,215 --> 00:47:29,300 What? 700 00:47:30,342 --> 00:47:31,469 Next. 701 00:47:45,733 --> 00:47:46,901 Hello? 702 00:48:01,582 --> 00:48:02,583 Put that in. 703 00:48:07,880 --> 00:48:09,090 What's in those? 704 00:48:09,715 --> 00:48:10,883 You don't want to know. 705 00:48:11,884 --> 00:48:13,330 It's fine. 706 00:48:15,096 --> 00:48:16,895 This will make things right for us. 707 00:48:17,015 --> 00:48:18,516 This doesn't feel right. 708 00:48:22,103 --> 00:48:24,147 We're fine. We'll work it out. 709 00:48:25,356 --> 00:48:26,482 I promise. 710 00:48:57,096 --> 00:48:58,430 Sorry. 711 00:49:55,196 --> 00:49:56,864 Have you considered the possibility 712 00:49:56,948 --> 00:49:58,699 the reason you haven't been laid in the last decade 713 00:49:58,783 --> 00:50:00,785 has something to do with your routine use of the word "Trim"? 714 00:50:00,952 --> 00:50:04,956 Yeah, seven days a week, 56 weeks a year, "Trim!" 715 00:50:06,582 --> 00:50:07,583 That's my bad. 716 00:50:08,251 --> 00:50:10,123 Where's your manners, shithead?