1
00:00:09,193 --> 00:00:11,194
(THEME SONG PLAYING)

2
00:00:57,909 --> 00:00:59,202
(GATE BANGS)

3
00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:08,028
<font color="#ec14bd">Sync & corrections by honeybunny</font>
<font color="#ec14bd">www.addic7ed.com</font>

4
00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:13,184
Resync for 1080p Abjex by
Cookies Monsta

5
00:01:14,133 --> 00:01:16,928
(GATE CLOSING)

6
00:01:19,597 --> 00:01:20,556
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)

7
00:01:20,639 --> 00:01:23,226
So I say to this guy...

8
00:01:23,350 --> 00:01:26,854
"Save your schooner for
someone else, yes?"

9
00:01:27,146 --> 00:01:30,816
I come here to buy a boat, not
become some goddamn pirate.

10
00:01:35,446 --> 00:01:36,447
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)

11
00:01:36,572 --> 00:01:38,323
You should go talk to them.

12
00:01:40,659 --> 00:01:41,702
Please don't drop that.

13
00:01:42,661 --> 00:01:44,789
Get out there. Shake hands.

14
00:01:46,874 --> 00:01:47,875
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)

15
00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:49,293
Are you listening to me?

16
00:01:49,794 --> 00:01:51,963
It's important that we
make this connection.

17
00:01:52,296 --> 00:01:54,381
(TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

18
00:01:54,465 --> 00:01:56,842
These are very
important people.

19
00:01:58,136 --> 00:02:00,012
(TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

20
00:02:08,980 --> 00:02:10,231
Go meet his wife.

21
00:02:10,648 --> 00:02:13,151
I've been cooking all day.
I smell like onions.

22
00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:14,401
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)

23
00:02:14,526 --> 00:02:15,569
Ladies and gentlemen!

24
00:02:17,321 --> 00:02:20,032
I have someone to
make you acquaintance.

25
00:02:22,493 --> 00:02:24,328
(ALL TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

26
00:02:29,167 --> 00:02:30,835
RED: That's disgusting.

27
00:02:31,460 --> 00:02:32,503
And unsanitary.

28
00:02:32,628 --> 00:02:33,838
Keeps 'em warm all day long.

29
00:02:33,963 --> 00:02:35,173
Thanks for this back board.

30
00:02:35,298 --> 00:02:36,340
Pleasure doin'
business with you.

31
00:02:36,465 --> 00:02:38,176
WOMAN OVER PA: 5:00 a.m.
Breakfast time.

32
00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:41,262
So we need request forms for
next spring's non-perishables.

33
00:02:41,345 --> 00:02:42,847
Bring 'em tonight.

34
00:02:43,014 --> 00:02:44,515
Tori's getting out
in six weeks,

35
00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:46,851
so we gotta train someone
new on the feed slicer.

36
00:02:46,976 --> 00:02:48,144
Look into little Sara.

37
00:02:48,227 --> 00:02:49,895
Make sure she
never stabbed people.

38
00:02:50,062 --> 00:02:52,690
And Betty's been acting up again.
The bitch is gonna fuck us.

39
00:02:52,815 --> 00:02:54,108
A little patience.

40
00:02:54,192 --> 00:02:56,610
She's been here a lot of years.
I'll deal with her.

41
00:02:57,653 --> 00:02:58,696
The blondie?

42
00:02:58,821 --> 00:03:00,156
Yes. She's going nuts.

43
00:03:00,239 --> 00:03:01,406
That one's a light touch.

44
00:03:01,532 --> 00:03:03,093
Well, you did serve
her a bloody tampon.

45
00:03:03,159 --> 00:03:04,869
Yeah. Heh.

46
00:03:05,286 --> 00:03:06,495
I'm proud of that one.

47
00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:10,041
I have to go to another prison.

48
00:03:10,666 --> 00:03:12,084
A different one.

49
00:03:12,210 --> 00:03:14,212
You have to move me.

50
00:03:14,377 --> 00:03:17,173
Like this is the Radisson
and you don't like your room?

51
00:03:20,885 --> 00:03:21,969
Why?

52
00:03:22,094 --> 00:03:23,721
Why isn't this the Radisson?

53
00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:25,681
Why do you need to be moved?

54
00:03:28,391 --> 00:03:31,394
Did someone try
to engage with you sexually?

55
00:03:36,234 --> 00:03:38,027
Tell me what
happened out there.

56
00:03:43,448 --> 00:03:44,909
(WOMAN TALKING
INDISTINCTLY OVER PA)

57
00:03:49,997 --> 00:03:51,374
It's fine.

58
00:03:53,876 --> 00:03:55,419
I just freaked out.

59
00:03:56,754 --> 00:03:58,256
I'll be fine.

60
00:04:00,632 --> 00:04:01,633
I'm sure you will.

61
00:04:03,928 --> 00:04:06,430
You're gonna be
late for orientation.

62
00:04:10,142 --> 00:04:12,144
MAN OVER PA: Attention, ladies.
Remember the rules.

63
00:04:12,270 --> 00:04:14,272
Hey, sorry I'm late.
Sit down.

64
00:04:25,783 --> 00:04:26,867
That one's broke.

65
00:04:29,620 --> 00:04:30,996
(CLANGING)

66
00:04:31,956 --> 00:04:32,957
WOMAN ON TV: Hi.

67
00:04:33,082 --> 00:04:36,210
Welcome to the Federal
Department of Corrections,

68
00:04:36,294 --> 00:04:37,795
where we strive

69
00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:42,967
to maintain facilities that are
secure, humane, and cost effective.

70
00:04:43,050 --> 00:04:44,260
(SNIGGERS)

71
00:04:45,094 --> 00:04:47,679
Night school classes are
offered three nights a week.

72
00:04:47,805 --> 00:04:51,558
There are a variety of
recreational activities available

73
00:04:51,642 --> 00:04:55,271
and clinical visits are offered
at the inmates' request.

74
00:04:55,354 --> 00:04:59,691
But enough about policy. Let's
get to the important stuff.

75
00:05:02,611 --> 00:05:04,571
This is a piece of copper pipe.

76
00:05:04,655 --> 00:05:06,657
And it was taken
from the laundry room.

77
00:05:06,740 --> 00:05:07,783
(CLANGS)

78
00:05:07,866 --> 00:05:08,951
It's hard.

79
00:05:09,493 --> 00:05:11,996
This was used
to break two ribs.

80
00:05:12,121 --> 00:05:14,581
Could also be used
to crack your skull,

81
00:05:14,665 --> 00:05:17,335
break your knee,
muss up your makeup.

82
00:05:19,337 --> 00:05:20,796
Amongst other things.

83
00:05:22,256 --> 00:05:25,343
Suicidal thoughts will come.
Frequently.

84
00:05:25,426 --> 00:05:28,887
Some days, it'll feel like
there are no other thoughts.

85
00:05:29,013 --> 00:05:31,182
"Do it," they'll say.

86
00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:32,641
"End it."

87
00:05:32,724 --> 00:05:33,725
(SWALLOWS)

88
00:05:33,851 --> 00:05:35,019
"Come on."

89
00:05:37,188 --> 00:05:40,691
You'll be assigned bunks soon.
Uniform issue is next week.

90
00:05:41,484 --> 00:05:43,694
State your correct
size on the form.

91
00:05:44,236 --> 00:05:45,779
No baggy hip-hop pants.

92
00:05:46,697 --> 00:05:48,531
Yes, I'm lookin' at you.

93
00:05:51,202 --> 00:05:55,914
Plastic toothbrush with a
razor-blade melted right into it.

94
00:05:56,665 --> 00:05:57,791
(CHUCKLES)

95
00:05:58,083 --> 00:05:59,210
(MOCK RETCHING)

96
00:06:02,629 --> 00:06:03,881
(SCOFFS)

97
00:06:04,215 --> 00:06:06,175
Yeah, probably shouldn't
have showed you that one.

98
00:06:07,009 --> 00:06:08,927
The women who made
and used these items

99
00:06:09,053 --> 00:06:12,181
are now in the SHU
or down at the max facility

100
00:06:12,264 --> 00:06:15,726
with added sentences. Their
lives are basically over.

101
00:06:16,519 --> 00:06:18,062
Hello, ladies.

102
00:06:18,770 --> 00:06:20,147
I am Natalie Figueroa.

103
00:06:20,231 --> 00:06:22,525
I am the Executive
Assistant to the warden.

104
00:06:22,607 --> 00:06:24,567
I try and visit often.

105
00:06:24,693 --> 00:06:26,195
If you have any concerns,

106
00:06:26,278 --> 00:06:28,447
specifically regarding
your needs as women,

107
00:06:28,571 --> 00:06:31,742
please come to me.
I will handle them personally.

108
00:06:33,744 --> 00:06:35,079
Yeah, she will.

109
00:06:35,204 --> 00:06:37,081
I had a question, actually.

110
00:06:37,206 --> 00:06:39,124
Today I'm only
here as a formality.

111
00:06:39,458 --> 00:06:40,583
(SIGHS)

112
00:06:43,712 --> 00:06:45,047
(SNIGGERS)

113
00:06:46,257 --> 00:06:47,299
GINA: Next.

114
00:06:49,718 --> 00:06:50,844
Next.

115
00:06:54,098 --> 00:06:55,099
Next.

116
00:06:55,224 --> 00:06:56,517
No. Wait.

117
00:06:57,976 --> 00:06:59,103
Next.

118
00:07:00,521 --> 00:07:01,522
(INMATES CHUCKLE)

119
00:07:01,604 --> 00:07:02,731
Seriously?

120
00:07:04,858 --> 00:07:05,859
Next.

121
00:07:10,239 --> 00:07:11,282
Come on.

122
00:07:16,078 --> 00:07:17,162
(CLANGING)

123
00:07:23,377 --> 00:07:26,713
WOMAN OVER PA: Dorm D, Dorm D,
laundry is ready for drop-off.

124
00:07:33,095 --> 00:07:34,138
Uh-uh.

125
00:07:34,972 --> 00:07:36,223
They're not letting me eat.

126
00:07:37,682 --> 00:07:39,435
That sounds like a whole
lot of your problem.

127
00:07:41,812 --> 00:07:44,148
We don't leave lunch
till lunch is over.

128
00:07:46,024 --> 00:07:48,068
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

129
00:08:07,004 --> 00:08:08,506
(LAUGHING)

130
00:08:16,597 --> 00:08:17,848
Mmm-hmm.

131
00:08:18,432 --> 00:08:19,683
Uh-huh.

132
00:08:21,435 --> 00:08:23,562
Come sit with us.
Not with Crazy Eyes.

133
00:08:29,860 --> 00:08:31,028
Rough morning?

134
00:08:32,237 --> 00:08:33,322
Something like that.

135
00:08:33,405 --> 00:08:34,990
We should've
warned you about Red.

136
00:08:35,533 --> 00:08:39,537
Well, I just didn't expect to be
punished while I was getting punished.

137
00:08:41,664 --> 00:08:43,248
You gotta fix that.
Make it right.

138
00:08:43,374 --> 00:08:44,375
How?

139
00:08:44,542 --> 00:08:48,379
I find it best to
confront things head-on.

140
00:08:49,004 --> 00:08:51,465
Know what?
I'm just gonna apologize.

141
00:08:51,549 --> 00:08:54,552
I'm just gonna very
sincerely apologize.

142
00:08:54,635 --> 00:08:59,723
People make mistakes. People say
stupid things all the time.

143
00:08:59,890 --> 00:09:00,932
Uh-huh.

144
00:09:02,434 --> 00:09:03,935
She's gotta
understand that, right?

145
00:09:06,230 --> 00:09:08,566
(INMATES TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

146
00:09:11,068 --> 00:09:12,069
(SPEAKING SPANISH)

147
00:09:12,236 --> 00:09:13,654
Check this shit out.

148
00:09:13,737 --> 00:09:14,738
(CHUCKLES)

149
00:09:21,704 --> 00:09:22,746
Who are you?

150
00:09:22,871 --> 00:09:24,498
Her daughter. Who are you?

151
00:09:24,623 --> 00:09:25,749
Her daughter.

152
00:09:28,293 --> 00:09:29,336
(SPEAKING SPANISH)

153
00:09:34,966 --> 00:09:37,261
What's the matter, you
don't wanna hit me again?

154
00:09:37,344 --> 00:09:39,846
From here on out, this
place will hit you for me.

155
00:09:45,227 --> 00:09:48,564
This orange thing,
it's like, I glow in the dark.

156
00:09:48,647 --> 00:09:50,608
The guard with the mustache
keeps staring at me.

157
00:09:50,733 --> 00:09:52,276
Since when do you hate that?

158
00:09:54,486 --> 00:09:55,613
(MOUTHING)

159
00:09:56,905 --> 00:09:58,240
You got any extra khakis?

160
00:09:59,241 --> 00:10:02,453
No. Well, not in your size.

161
00:10:02,578 --> 00:10:03,621
(CHUCKLES)

162
00:10:08,792 --> 00:10:12,671
And don't be in such a rush to
get out of that orange, sabes?

163
00:10:12,796 --> 00:10:15,591
Once you're in these,
you're old news.

164
00:10:20,471 --> 00:10:21,472
(KISSES)

165
00:10:21,555 --> 00:10:24,308
White girl said somethin'
nasty about Red's food,

166
00:10:24,391 --> 00:10:26,831
then Red sent her a message 'cause
white girl better recognize.

167
00:10:26,851 --> 00:10:27,811
(WHISPERS) A message?

168
00:10:27,936 --> 00:10:29,730
Egg McTampon. Rare.

169
00:10:29,813 --> 00:10:32,149
So now nobody's
givin' her nothin' to eat.

170
00:10:32,232 --> 00:10:33,651
Not until Red say so.

171
00:10:34,401 --> 00:10:35,653
That's...

172
00:10:36,861 --> 00:10:37,862
Thanks.

173
00:10:37,988 --> 00:10:39,906
This ain't gonna get
Red in trouble, right?

174
00:10:39,990 --> 00:10:41,199
'Cause I ain't no snitch.

175
00:10:41,325 --> 00:10:44,536
No. Of course not.
I mean, probably not.

176
00:10:45,788 --> 00:10:46,997
I haven't decided yet.

177
00:10:47,872 --> 00:10:48,873
Hold up.

178
00:10:49,833 --> 00:10:50,917
(GROANS)

179
00:10:51,251 --> 00:10:52,336
Where my candy?

180
00:11:11,188 --> 00:11:12,855
Get me another towel.

181
00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:26,370
Is this a bad time?

182
00:11:26,453 --> 00:11:27,454
Moment.

183
00:11:29,956 --> 00:11:31,041
(CHUCKLING)

184
00:11:36,672 --> 00:11:37,880
(SIGHS)

185
00:11:41,719 --> 00:11:43,846
About what I said yesterday?

186
00:11:43,970 --> 00:11:48,642
It was careless and it was rude.
And I am really sorry.

187
00:11:49,892 --> 00:11:52,396
I appreciate everything
that you do here,

188
00:11:52,479 --> 00:11:54,732
I can't imagine how
much work it takes,

189
00:11:54,857 --> 00:11:57,735
and since we're clearly gonna be
spending some time together...

190
00:11:57,900 --> 00:12:00,070
Don't forget the toes, Norma.

191
00:12:03,365 --> 00:12:10,038
I can tell you take pride in what
you do, and I so respect that.

192
00:12:10,622 --> 00:12:12,374
If someone insulted my work...

193
00:12:12,457 --> 00:12:14,501
What is it, your work?

194
00:12:14,668 --> 00:12:15,669
Oh.

195
00:12:15,753 --> 00:12:19,172
Um, I make artisanal bath products.
We got into Barneys.

196
00:12:20,674 --> 00:12:22,259
Artisanal?

197
00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:25,512
I'm just saying we're not that
different, you and I. That's all.

198
00:12:27,598 --> 00:12:30,684
And I understand
how stupid I've been.

199
00:12:32,060 --> 00:12:33,520
I really apologize.

200
00:12:33,604 --> 00:12:34,646
(SIGHS)

201
00:12:35,898 --> 00:12:37,065
I'm sorry.

202
00:12:38,609 --> 00:12:39,610
(TAPPING)

203
00:12:47,158 --> 00:12:48,493
You seem sweet.

204
00:12:51,622 --> 00:12:53,290
You really do, honey.

205
00:12:56,959 --> 00:12:59,755
But I can't do shit
with "I'm sorry."

206
00:13:00,672 --> 00:13:01,882
Not in here.

207
00:13:04,134 --> 00:13:05,803
Might not look like it,

208
00:13:06,177 --> 00:13:08,305
but there's rules
in this place.

209
00:13:09,264 --> 00:13:11,391
The most important of which is,

210
00:13:12,142 --> 00:13:15,019
the second you're
perceived as weak,

211
00:13:15,646 --> 00:13:17,439
you already are.

212
00:13:21,318 --> 00:13:22,861
What do you want me to do?

213
00:13:23,403 --> 00:13:25,155
You're a smart girl.

214
00:13:26,490 --> 00:13:27,741
(GRUNTS)

215
00:13:28,325 --> 00:13:29,785
(MOANING)

216
00:13:36,834 --> 00:13:38,502
Figure something out.

217
00:13:44,591 --> 00:13:46,802
That girl got some nice legs.

218
00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:52,432
What the fuck is this?

219
00:13:53,266 --> 00:13:55,519
Oh, it's my treat I'm savin'.
Just leave it.

220
00:13:56,394 --> 00:13:57,521
Leave it?

221
00:13:58,020 --> 00:13:59,272
Fuck leave it.

222
00:13:59,356 --> 00:14:01,650
You can't put your sticky
ice cream shit in here.

223
00:14:01,733 --> 00:14:04,862
It ain't just an ice cream.
It's a King Cone.

224
00:14:06,154 --> 00:14:07,238
(GASPS)
Man!

225
00:14:07,364 --> 00:14:08,365
Get off me, girl!

226
00:14:08,657 --> 00:14:10,450
(SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)

227
00:14:12,703 --> 00:14:13,912
Get this bitch off of me!

228
00:14:14,036 --> 00:14:16,498
(GRUNTING)

229
00:14:26,967 --> 00:14:28,886
B fucking took my hair out!

230
00:14:30,846 --> 00:14:33,139
MAN OVER PA:
B Dorm, Itza Martinez...

231
00:14:33,223 --> 00:14:35,475
Please tell me y'all ain't
fighting over ice cream.

232
00:14:36,560 --> 00:14:37,602
King Cone.

233
00:14:47,738 --> 00:14:49,489
(INMATE BREATHING DEEPLY)

234
00:14:50,657 --> 00:14:51,742
(SNORING)

235
00:14:51,867 --> 00:14:53,744
(NICKY HUMMING AND CHEWING)

236
00:15:07,591 --> 00:15:08,759
You okay, Chapman?

237
00:15:10,969 --> 00:15:12,095
Yeah.

238
00:15:13,430 --> 00:15:14,890
You know,
I'd give you a pretzel

239
00:15:14,973 --> 00:15:16,774
but the walls have eyes,
and I'm not retarded.

240
00:15:20,854 --> 00:15:25,108
When I first got here,
I had troubles like you.

241
00:15:26,568 --> 00:15:28,946
There was a disagreement.

242
00:15:30,196 --> 00:15:31,823
Then we brawled.

243
00:15:32,449 --> 00:15:34,743
That's how you settled things.

244
00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:36,787
And if I'd have won,

245
00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:39,915
I'd have been la jefa.

246
00:15:39,998 --> 00:15:41,625
Instead of this.

247
00:15:43,293 --> 00:15:45,879
Thank God I got cancer.

248
00:15:46,546 --> 00:15:49,215
No one fucks with cancer.

249
00:15:54,638 --> 00:15:56,139
Good talk.

250
00:15:58,141 --> 00:15:59,434
Fuck!

251
00:16:05,273 --> 00:16:06,817
(STOMACH GRUMBLING)

252
00:16:13,865 --> 00:16:14,908
(GRUNTS)

253
00:16:15,993 --> 00:16:17,869
So it's nothing but lemonade?

254
00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:19,579
It's a cleanse.

255
00:16:19,663 --> 00:16:22,666
No vegetable juice? Fiber?

256
00:16:22,833 --> 00:16:25,251
We are going to deny
ourselves sustenance

257
00:16:25,335 --> 00:16:28,797
while there are people
that starve in Kinshasa?

258
00:16:31,842 --> 00:16:33,384
It's racist to
just say "Africa."

259
00:16:34,511 --> 00:16:35,929
You put cayenne pepper in this?

260
00:16:36,013 --> 00:16:39,349
Yes! Yes.
It flushes out toxins.

261
00:16:40,517 --> 00:16:43,687
We don't smoke,
we don't snort crack.

262
00:16:45,271 --> 00:16:47,607
Honey, don't you think the little
rocks would hurt your nose

263
00:16:47,691 --> 00:16:49,317
if you tried to snort crack?

264
00:16:49,860 --> 00:16:50,861
I think you mean coke.

265
00:16:50,986 --> 00:16:52,320
You know what I mean.

266
00:16:52,403 --> 00:16:55,365
You know, you don't let me buy
food unless it's locally-grown,

267
00:16:55,490 --> 00:16:57,492
grass-fed, conflict-free...

268
00:16:57,575 --> 00:16:59,536
I'm perfectly fine
doing this on my own.

269
00:16:59,744 --> 00:17:01,824
No. No, no, no, no. Honey,
that's not what I'm saying.

270
00:17:01,872 --> 00:17:03,665
You're making fun of it.
No. I'm just...

271
00:17:03,748 --> 00:17:05,000
When you said cleanse,

272
00:17:05,083 --> 00:17:07,169
I thought you meant
we'd be eating more kale.

273
00:17:07,293 --> 00:17:10,005
We can eat more kale when we're
transitioning back to food.

274
00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:11,131
Okay.

275
00:17:11,756 --> 00:17:13,341
What about dinners out?

276
00:17:14,718 --> 00:17:15,927
Weekend brunches?

277
00:17:16,053 --> 00:17:18,304
(STUTTERS) I mean, isn't this gonna
turn us into anti-social losers?

278
00:17:18,513 --> 00:17:21,725
Well, it doesn't have to.

279
00:17:23,143 --> 00:17:24,227
(CHUCKLES)

280
00:17:26,688 --> 00:17:32,903
I'm not gonna be the guy that shows
up with his lemonade cuppie.

281
00:17:35,530 --> 00:17:37,908
Okay. Okay.

282
00:17:38,158 --> 00:17:41,745
For me, this is it
for the next seven days.

283
00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:46,290
If you wanna back out, I'm
not gonna love you any less.

284
00:17:47,084 --> 00:17:48,960
We did say that we were
gonna do it together.

285
00:17:49,086 --> 00:17:52,172
But if you don't
wanna be "that guy,"

286
00:17:52,255 --> 00:17:56,509
I'm perfectly happy
doing it on my own.

287
00:18:00,304 --> 00:18:01,431
(SIGHS)

288
00:18:04,350 --> 00:18:05,643
Well, where's the fun in that?

289
00:18:05,810 --> 00:18:07,896
(SQUEALS) See?

290
00:18:09,355 --> 00:18:10,398
(LARRY GRUNTS)

291
00:18:13,610 --> 00:18:15,195
Oh, God. (SIGHS)

292
00:18:15,820 --> 00:18:16,821
(BUZZING)

293
00:18:16,947 --> 00:18:18,990
OFFICER: Number four,
on the left. Next!

294
00:18:24,913 --> 00:18:26,123
(BLEEPING)

295
00:18:27,624 --> 00:18:29,084
Turn around.

296
00:18:30,627 --> 00:18:32,212
Hold it right there.

297
00:18:35,966 --> 00:18:36,967
Next!

298
00:18:37,050 --> 00:18:38,802
Oh, look, it's the fiance.

299
00:18:39,594 --> 00:18:40,720
OFFICER: Put your bag down, please.
(CHUCKLES)

300
00:18:40,804 --> 00:18:41,846
I should be on the list.

301
00:18:42,180 --> 00:18:44,808
And I should be on American Idol,
but I can't sing for shit.

302
00:18:45,308 --> 00:18:46,350
(CHUCKLES)

303
00:18:48,979 --> 00:18:50,438
No Larry Bloom here.

304
00:18:50,605 --> 00:18:51,689
What?

305
00:18:55,819 --> 00:18:57,154
Oh, this is from last week.

306
00:19:00,115 --> 00:19:01,449
Where's this week's?

307
00:19:01,532 --> 00:19:03,285
In another office.

308
00:19:19,342 --> 00:19:20,384
Have a seat.

309
00:19:20,510 --> 00:19:23,680
WOMAN OVER PA: When in the visitation
room, you're allowed two hugs,

310
00:19:24,014 --> 00:19:26,641
one on arrival,
and one on departure.

311
00:19:29,644 --> 00:19:30,687
(SIGHS)

312
00:19:41,614 --> 00:19:43,533
(ALL CLAMORING)

313
00:19:50,707 --> 00:19:52,959
Okay, try not to crowd around, ladies.
Come on, now.

314
00:19:54,377 --> 00:19:56,004
Thank you.
MAN OVER PA: Itza Martinez again...

315
00:19:56,087 --> 00:19:57,463
Thank you.

316
00:20:02,844 --> 00:20:04,054
Can I have some gum?

317
00:20:05,222 --> 00:20:08,766
Sorry. Can't do that. (CHUCKLES)
Inmates aren't allowed.

318
00:20:08,892 --> 00:20:10,935
I get it. You can't
give special treatment.

319
00:20:11,561 --> 00:20:13,355
It'd look funny.
Like I liked you.

320
00:20:15,565 --> 00:20:16,607
Don't you?

321
00:20:26,076 --> 00:20:27,577
Oh, my God, honey!

322
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:29,079
Oh, baby. Hey!
Hi.

323
00:20:29,204 --> 00:20:30,496
Honey.
Oh! Hi.

324
00:20:30,621 --> 00:20:31,789
That's enough.

325
00:20:33,708 --> 00:20:34,751
Sorry. I'm so sorry I'm late.

326
00:20:34,834 --> 00:20:35,835
No. It's fine.

327
00:20:35,919 --> 00:20:36,920
I swear I was here,

328
00:20:37,045 --> 00:20:38,713
but I think they were, like,
deliberately fucking with me.

329
00:20:38,796 --> 00:20:40,882
No, whatever, it's fine.
You're here. Oh!

330
00:20:41,007 --> 00:20:42,050
You look great!

331
00:20:42,133 --> 00:20:43,218
I mean, who knew
you could rock orange?

332
00:20:43,301 --> 00:20:44,302
Please. Come on!

333
00:20:44,427 --> 00:20:45,428
Seriously,

334
00:20:45,511 --> 00:20:47,597
and your face is
like all cheekboney.

335
00:20:47,764 --> 00:20:51,017
Well, I haven't
eaten since Wednesday.

336
00:20:51,101 --> 00:20:52,102
What?

337
00:20:52,727 --> 00:20:53,895
(WHISPERS) She's
starving me out.

338
00:20:53,978 --> 00:20:55,105
Who?

339
00:20:57,565 --> 00:20:58,942
Oh, my God.

340
00:20:59,734 --> 00:21:00,735
Do you have any change?

341
00:21:01,527 --> 00:21:04,572
Oh, yeah. Yeah, I think so.
What do you want?

342
00:21:04,781 --> 00:21:07,450
Literally anything. Go.

343
00:21:19,170 --> 00:21:20,213
No.

344
00:21:21,172 --> 00:21:22,372
I don't think they work, honey.

345
00:21:22,465 --> 00:21:23,507
No.

346
00:21:25,302 --> 00:21:26,428
No! No.
(THUDS)

347
00:21:26,510 --> 00:21:29,222
Inmate, step away
from the machine.

348
00:21:29,931 --> 00:21:31,052
He just called you "inmate."

349
00:21:31,057 --> 00:21:32,850
You too, sir.
Sorry.

350
00:21:34,978 --> 00:21:36,313
(WHISPERING) This is her.
She did this.

351
00:21:36,396 --> 00:21:37,647
Who? Who are you
talking about?

352
00:21:37,730 --> 00:21:39,399
The woman who runs the kitchen.

353
00:21:39,482 --> 00:21:41,151
What? Why are we whispering?

354
00:21:42,110 --> 00:21:44,904
She's starving me out.
I insulted the food.

355
00:21:44,988 --> 00:21:46,323
Oh, Piper.

356
00:21:46,906 --> 00:21:48,325
Your foot in mouth disease?

357
00:21:48,408 --> 00:21:50,118
I'm an idiot.

358
00:21:50,201 --> 00:21:52,329
She's issued
a fucking fatwa against me.

359
00:21:54,914 --> 00:21:56,314
I think I'm gonna
have to fight her.

360
00:21:56,374 --> 00:21:57,375
What?

361
00:21:57,500 --> 00:21:59,752
How am I supposed to
prison-fight an old Russian lady

362
00:21:59,836 --> 00:22:01,629
with back problems?
(SOBBING)

363
00:22:01,712 --> 00:22:04,548
Hey, Piper, come on. You're not.
That's ridiculous.

364
00:22:04,674 --> 00:22:08,470
You don't have to fight anybody. Okay?
Hey, hey, hey, stop. Stop.

365
00:22:08,594 --> 00:22:09,679
GUARD: No touching.

366
00:22:09,846 --> 00:22:11,014
(PIPER SIGHING)
Jesus.

367
00:22:11,973 --> 00:22:13,975
It's gonna be okay.
Mmm.

368
00:22:14,351 --> 00:22:15,352
All right?
Uh-uh.

369
00:22:15,518 --> 00:22:16,998
Your commissary
money's coming, right?

370
00:22:17,061 --> 00:22:19,772
I sent the check
the minute I left here.

371
00:22:19,856 --> 00:22:20,898
Express mail.

372
00:22:21,316 --> 00:22:22,996
Even if you have to
live off Snickers bars,

373
00:22:23,026 --> 00:22:24,526
it's gonna be okay.

374
00:22:31,284 --> 00:22:32,952
I hate that you're
seeing me like this.

375
00:22:33,870 --> 00:22:35,079
At least I get to see you.

376
00:22:38,708 --> 00:22:40,460
Tell me that you're
not watching Mad Men.

377
00:22:40,542 --> 00:22:41,543
What?

378
00:22:42,003 --> 00:22:44,172
Promise me you're not
watching Mad Men without me,

379
00:22:44,255 --> 00:22:47,633
that when I get out of here, we're
gonna binge watch it, together,

380
00:22:47,717 --> 00:22:49,886
in bed, with take-out from...

381
00:22:49,969 --> 00:22:51,221
Gertie's? (LAUGHS)

382
00:22:51,346 --> 00:22:52,596
Yes. Yes.

383
00:22:52,722 --> 00:22:54,682
Yes. Of course. 100%.

384
00:22:55,058 --> 00:22:56,184
(BUZZING)

385
00:22:56,558 --> 00:22:59,103
GUARD: Visiting hours
have come to a close.

386
00:22:59,229 --> 00:23:01,772
Jesus. Really?
That was like two minutes.

387
00:23:01,898 --> 00:23:04,067
Visitors, please make
your way to the exit.

388
00:23:04,401 --> 00:23:05,402
We can hug again.

389
00:23:05,527 --> 00:23:06,568
What?

390
00:23:06,694 --> 00:23:07,987
Once coming in, once going out.

391
00:23:08,363 --> 00:23:09,531
Come here.

392
00:23:10,823 --> 00:23:11,908
Oh!

393
00:23:13,535 --> 00:23:14,618
I love you, babe.

394
00:23:21,292 --> 00:23:22,460
(BUZZER SOUNDS)

395
00:23:54,409 --> 00:23:55,577
Sorry.

396
00:24:07,130 --> 00:24:08,381
(WHISPERS) Red?

397
00:24:09,591 --> 00:24:10,632
Red?

398
00:24:15,263 --> 00:24:16,264
What is it?

399
00:24:17,932 --> 00:24:19,183
Betty's dead.

400
00:24:22,728 --> 00:24:23,938
(SIGHS)

401
00:24:25,565 --> 00:24:27,400
RED: She was a good girl.

402
00:24:27,484 --> 00:24:28,985
GINA: No one heard her go.

403
00:24:29,651 --> 00:24:31,112
LUSCHEK: Get over it.
It's a freezer.

404
00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:35,657
See, what happened here was a
breach in the main coolant line.

405
00:24:35,825 --> 00:24:37,327
Big, nasty breach.

406
00:24:37,659 --> 00:24:39,329
Ugly breach.
Bad, bad breach.

407
00:24:39,454 --> 00:24:40,913
What's that smell?

408
00:24:41,498 --> 00:24:42,582
That's the Freon.

409
00:24:43,249 --> 00:24:45,042
Some people use it for huffing.

410
00:24:45,460 --> 00:24:47,545
Makes for a super intense,
but short-lived high.

411
00:24:47,669 --> 00:24:51,174
Similar to crack, uh,
but without the migraines.

412
00:24:53,843 --> 00:24:56,596
Put those in ice water.
Don't stack those, Gina.

413
00:24:57,847 --> 00:24:59,015
NICKY: Nice pussy.

414
00:24:59,223 --> 00:25:00,266
Don't ask.

415
00:25:00,350 --> 00:25:02,018
I don't intend to.

416
00:25:02,226 --> 00:25:04,027
Thanksgiving's coming twice
this year, ladies.

417
00:25:04,145 --> 00:25:05,729
Spread the word.

418
00:25:07,482 --> 00:25:10,443
Okay, I understand
what you have to do.

419
00:25:10,527 --> 00:25:11,819
What?

420
00:25:11,944 --> 00:25:13,404
I'm not a fighter.

421
00:25:14,113 --> 00:25:15,156
Go ahead.

422
00:25:15,239 --> 00:25:16,616
I'm a little busy here.
Pick up those rags.

423
00:25:16,698 --> 00:25:17,858
I'm not going to swing first.

424
00:25:17,867 --> 00:25:18,909
Good.

425
00:25:19,035 --> 00:25:20,370
Just hit me and
get it over with.

426
00:25:20,495 --> 00:25:21,787
I said I'm a little busy.

427
00:25:21,871 --> 00:25:23,247
I'm not leaving
until you do it.

428
00:25:24,207 --> 00:25:25,875
(GRUNTS) Wow.

429
00:25:27,210 --> 00:25:28,545
You want me to hit you?

430
00:25:28,670 --> 00:25:29,879
Yeah.

431
00:25:29,962 --> 00:25:31,713
Okay, get ready.

432
00:25:35,385 --> 00:25:38,304
You called my food disgusting.

433
00:25:42,475 --> 00:25:46,812
You're not getting hazed,
you're not getting harassed,

434
00:25:48,856 --> 00:25:50,316
you're getting starved.

435
00:25:51,651 --> 00:25:53,152
To death.

436
00:25:53,236 --> 00:25:57,240
You'll leave Litchfield
as a skeleton in a body bag.

437
00:25:58,074 --> 00:25:59,116
Pow!

438
00:26:00,117 --> 00:26:03,413
Now, march your yuppie ass
outta my kitchen.

439
00:26:08,167 --> 00:26:11,421
Slowly, so you don't burn
too many calories.

440
00:26:14,591 --> 00:26:17,343
So the third time,
same thing happens.

441
00:26:17,427 --> 00:26:20,179
And the farmer looks at his
wife, then back at the penguin,

442
00:26:20,263 --> 00:26:23,182
and finally the penguin goes,
(CHUCKLES)

443
00:26:25,602 --> 00:26:29,939
"He's not an eggplant, man.
He's retarded."

444
00:26:30,022 --> 00:26:31,566
(LAUGHING)

445
00:26:33,317 --> 00:26:34,611
You get it? 'Cause he...

446
00:26:34,776 --> 00:26:35,777
We get it.

447
00:26:37,821 --> 00:26:40,324
My brother was retarded.

448
00:26:40,866 --> 00:26:42,285
Oh, so sorry to hear that.

449
00:26:44,662 --> 00:26:46,289
You know, my husband's
a little slow.

450
00:26:47,123 --> 00:26:48,583
Says he was dropped on his head

451
00:26:48,666 --> 00:26:50,627
when he was born.
Just my luck.

452
00:26:50,752 --> 00:26:53,588
They couldn't have dropped
him on his dick? (CHUCKLES)

453
00:26:54,046 --> 00:26:56,090
I think I slept
wrong last night.

454
00:26:56,173 --> 00:26:58,175
Should we call it
a short walk today, ladies?

455
00:26:58,301 --> 00:26:59,302
Yes.

456
00:26:59,385 --> 00:27:00,545
Oh, you barely broke a sweat.

457
00:27:00,970 --> 00:27:02,804
Oh, my son has
dentist appointment.

458
00:27:02,888 --> 00:27:03,973
Oh, okay.

459
00:27:04,098 --> 00:27:05,308
We're close to your house, no?

460
00:27:05,433 --> 00:27:06,559
Yeah. Right over there.

461
00:27:07,310 --> 00:27:08,519
Same time tomorrow?

462
00:27:08,645 --> 00:27:10,062
We'll let you know.

463
00:27:21,616 --> 00:27:22,742
Oh, shit!

464
00:27:25,119 --> 00:27:26,537
Did no one think
to turn this off?

465
00:27:31,459 --> 00:27:34,003
(WOMAN TALKING
INDISTINCTLY OVER PA)

466
00:27:37,839 --> 00:27:38,924
Where is his highness?

467
00:27:41,594 --> 00:27:42,637
You're out of bounds.

468
00:27:42,720 --> 00:27:44,430
Healy?
Sir, I told her not to...

469
00:27:44,514 --> 00:27:46,349
Jesus Christ!
(FLUSHING)

470
00:27:46,557 --> 00:27:47,849
I need a new freezer.

471
00:27:48,518 --> 00:27:50,269
We can talk about
this later, Red.

472
00:27:50,353 --> 00:27:52,605
You have been saying
that for three years.

473
00:27:53,356 --> 00:27:55,517
We're dealing with a very
serious budget situation here.

474
00:27:56,150 --> 00:27:57,318
Should I subdue the inmate?

475
00:27:57,401 --> 00:28:01,572
The warden has been very clear
about spending this quarter.

476
00:28:02,532 --> 00:28:05,618
You want me to walk?
I'll walk, happily.

477
00:28:07,036 --> 00:28:09,871
Remember the last time I gave
back the keys to the kitchen?

478
00:28:10,956 --> 00:28:12,166
I'll see what I can do.

479
00:28:13,459 --> 00:28:14,794
Thank you.

480
00:28:18,381 --> 00:28:21,425
Ugh, like a dying animal
it smells in there.

481
00:28:21,551 --> 00:28:24,220
A dying animal, or just a
man who eats your food?

482
00:28:26,222 --> 00:28:27,682
Ugh with you, too.

483
00:28:29,891 --> 00:28:33,646
That smells fantastic.
It's like fresh muffins.

484
00:28:33,730 --> 00:28:35,189
Dried blueberries.

485
00:28:35,314 --> 00:28:37,107
Twelve fuckin' pounds of 'em.

486
00:28:37,483 --> 00:28:40,737
Funnest hobby ever.
You seen my headphones?

487
00:28:40,862 --> 00:28:41,863
Uh, left drawer.

488
00:28:42,029 --> 00:28:43,309
So you can put
anything in there?

489
00:28:43,364 --> 00:28:44,407
Just about.

490
00:28:44,574 --> 00:28:47,951
Peppermint, basil,
grapefruits, vanilla.

491
00:28:48,077 --> 00:28:49,036
She won't do chocolate.

492
00:28:49,119 --> 00:28:51,080
It never works.
Or popcorn.

493
00:28:51,163 --> 00:28:53,040
We're making soap,
not Jelly Bellys.

494
00:28:53,123 --> 00:28:54,291
Sweet.

495
00:28:55,125 --> 00:28:56,565
You know, for Amy,
I think you'd want

496
00:28:56,586 --> 00:28:57,920
something more along the lines

497
00:28:58,045 --> 00:29:01,674
of sage, patchouli,
maybe eucalyptus?

498
00:29:02,049 --> 00:29:03,967
Oh, she's allergic
to eucalyptus,

499
00:29:04,093 --> 00:29:05,969
or she hates it.
I can't remember.

500
00:29:06,095 --> 00:29:07,255
Really? Who hates eucalyptus?

501
00:29:07,263 --> 00:29:10,057
Larry's mother. She thinks
they're "dirty trees."

502
00:29:10,266 --> 00:29:11,347
You're still with that guy?

503
00:29:11,893 --> 00:29:13,060
Thought you wouldn't
make it two months.

504
00:29:13,143 --> 00:29:15,062
Pete!
What? You said so, too.

505
00:29:16,814 --> 00:29:18,107
They're moving in together.

506
00:29:18,190 --> 00:29:21,903
Already? Shit.
You are still a lesbian.

507
00:29:24,947 --> 00:29:26,198
I'm out, ladies.
Okay.

508
00:29:29,911 --> 00:29:31,913
You could sell these, you know.
(DOOR CLOSES)

509
00:29:33,330 --> 00:29:36,626
At farmers markets,
little boutique stores.

510
00:29:36,834 --> 00:29:38,210
I just kinda like making 'em.

511
00:29:39,545 --> 00:29:40,797
I could be your partner.

512
00:29:41,464 --> 00:29:42,465
What?

513
00:29:44,007 --> 00:29:45,885
This could be something.

514
00:29:45,968 --> 00:29:47,720
I mean, this could
be a thing, Pol.

515
00:29:48,888 --> 00:29:51,933
Market it right and package
it right, this is money.

516
00:29:52,099 --> 00:29:55,812
I mean, it smells
so fucking good in here.

517
00:29:56,646 --> 00:29:58,147
I can make this money.

518
00:29:58,731 --> 00:30:00,483
(WHISPERS)
I make lotions, too.

519
00:30:04,361 --> 00:30:06,405
Yo, y'all got headphones
for movie night?

520
00:30:06,489 --> 00:30:08,240
Sold the last pair
this morning.

521
00:30:08,324 --> 00:30:11,744
That's some bullshit. I ain't
tryin' to watch no silent movie.

522
00:30:11,994 --> 00:30:13,454
Sold out. Next.

523
00:30:13,830 --> 00:30:17,625
Spanish ladies are calling you
La Llorona, the wailing lady.

524
00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:20,294
Well, they would've
screamed just as loud

525
00:30:20,377 --> 00:30:22,212
if someone handed them
a used tampon sandwich.

526
00:30:22,338 --> 00:30:23,589
(SIGHS) Oh, yeah.

527
00:30:24,173 --> 00:30:26,676
Or if they suddenly saw
an ex-girlfriend in prison.

528
00:30:26,801 --> 00:30:27,885
Hey, what's her name? Alex?

529
00:30:30,095 --> 00:30:31,180
What did she say to you?

530
00:30:31,347 --> 00:30:34,141
Not a word. I just know
dyke drama when I see it.

531
00:30:36,059 --> 00:30:37,353
CHANG: You gonna
buy something or not?

532
00:30:37,478 --> 00:30:40,690
Yes. Hi, um, I should
have some credit here.

533
00:30:40,815 --> 00:30:44,026
My fiance sent
a check on Wednesday.

534
00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:46,403
Take seven day to process.

535
00:30:46,612 --> 00:30:48,692
You can use mine. It's not
like you're going anywhere.

536
00:30:48,739 --> 00:30:49,699
For food?

537
00:30:49,824 --> 00:30:50,825
Fuck no.

538
00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:52,242
Okay.

539
00:30:52,409 --> 00:30:53,536
Yo, Chang.

540
00:30:53,911 --> 00:30:54,912
(NICKY CLEARS THROAT)

541
00:30:55,037 --> 00:30:56,413
So, some rubber gloves.

542
00:30:58,457 --> 00:31:00,125
Okay, so maybe
some cocoa butter?

543
00:31:00,209 --> 00:31:01,251
Uh, cocoa butter?

544
00:31:02,294 --> 00:31:05,715
Maybe like a sieve of
some kind. A strainer?

545
00:31:05,923 --> 00:31:08,843
Okay. All right.
Yo, you got a strainer?

546
00:31:15,892 --> 00:31:18,686
This is a cup.
Knock yourself out.

547
00:31:20,103 --> 00:31:21,981
You know how often
I come by new weave?

548
00:31:22,064 --> 00:31:23,733
You probably gonna look
like this till Christmas.

549
00:31:23,816 --> 00:31:26,861
Uh-uh. I paid you seven bottles
of Pantene for this shit.

550
00:31:26,944 --> 00:31:29,822
Ain't my fault you went
all UFC over a King Cone.

551
00:31:30,031 --> 00:31:31,866
And if you call it
"shit" one more time,

552
00:31:32,033 --> 00:31:33,910
you can take your
ass down to Danita.

553
00:31:34,577 --> 00:31:35,786
How much to fix it?

554
00:31:35,995 --> 00:31:37,287
Mmm-hmm.
PIPER: Excuse me?

555
00:31:38,288 --> 00:31:41,083
Hi. I'm Chapman.

556
00:31:44,127 --> 00:31:46,213
Yeah, that's me. Um...

557
00:31:46,839 --> 00:31:49,383
I heard you might have
something that I need.

558
00:31:49,508 --> 00:31:51,468
J. Crew is around the corner.

559
00:31:51,635 --> 00:31:52,929
(SOPHIA AND PIPER CHUCKLE)

560
00:31:53,012 --> 00:31:54,555
Yeah. Um...

561
00:31:55,347 --> 00:32:00,937
Cocoa butter, or shea butter?
Do you have either of those?

562
00:32:01,062 --> 00:32:02,479
Maybe.

563
00:32:02,605 --> 00:32:04,523
I would just need
an ounce or two.

564
00:32:05,107 --> 00:32:06,627
Ain't you the one
they're starving out?

565
00:32:07,860 --> 00:32:08,861
Yeah.

566
00:32:09,070 --> 00:32:11,781
(SCOFFS) You got some
fucked-up priorities.

567
00:32:11,906 --> 00:32:13,198
We work on
a barter system here.

568
00:32:13,282 --> 00:32:14,533
You know what
that means, right?

569
00:32:14,617 --> 00:32:15,618
Yes.

570
00:32:15,743 --> 00:32:18,454
Three shower caps
or a round brush.

571
00:32:18,579 --> 00:32:19,859
Whichever they
got at commissary.

572
00:32:20,456 --> 00:32:23,751
Gladly. I will get them to you the
second that my money comes in.

573
00:32:24,001 --> 00:32:25,044
(LAUGHS)

574
00:32:26,128 --> 00:32:27,379
Credit declined.

575
00:32:27,922 --> 00:32:28,923
Please.

576
00:32:30,257 --> 00:32:32,384
"Please" is for commissary
hoes and Oliver Twist.

577
00:32:34,219 --> 00:32:35,972
Hold up. Some of us
tryin' to work here.

578
00:32:36,055 --> 00:32:37,056
I got an idea.

579
00:32:38,682 --> 00:32:39,976
But you ain't gonna like it.

580
00:32:42,478 --> 00:32:43,771
(SHRIEKS)

581
00:32:46,523 --> 00:32:48,484
Got that new 'do, Boo.
(LAUGHS)

582
00:33:01,998 --> 00:33:04,083
(PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

583
00:33:05,084 --> 00:33:06,669
Chapman's going around
asking for weird stuff, Red.

584
00:33:06,794 --> 00:33:07,837
What stuff?

585
00:33:07,920 --> 00:33:09,839
She's trying to get her
hands on hot peppers.

586
00:33:09,922 --> 00:33:11,132
You think she's gonna mace you?

587
00:33:11,214 --> 00:33:13,009
I don't think so.

588
00:33:13,092 --> 00:33:16,553
But if she does, worst case,
I'll get off my feet for a week.

589
00:33:16,679 --> 00:33:18,180
No, but it wouldn't
hurt your feet.

590
00:33:18,263 --> 00:33:20,223
It's an expression.
Mace burns your eyes.

591
00:33:20,349 --> 00:33:22,225
(CHUCKLING) Jesus, God.

592
00:33:25,270 --> 00:33:26,313
Oh.

593
00:33:31,986 --> 00:33:33,278
You okay, Chapman?

594
00:33:36,532 --> 00:33:38,034
WOMAN OVER PA:
Tonight's movie will be

595
00:33:38,159 --> 00:33:40,410
the airplane edit
of Good Luck Chuck,

596
00:33:40,536 --> 00:33:44,081
which Roger Ebert
gives one star. 8:00 p.m.

597
00:33:44,165 --> 00:33:45,290
Are you the new girl?

598
00:33:47,043 --> 00:33:50,587
Yes, I am. Piper.

599
00:33:53,799 --> 00:33:55,551
And you are?

600
00:33:55,634 --> 00:34:00,263
Uh, Sue. It's short for Susie,
which is short for Suzanne.

601
00:34:00,556 --> 00:34:02,099
(CHUCKLES) You
like spicy food?

602
00:34:05,394 --> 00:34:06,436
Sometimes.

603
00:34:06,562 --> 00:34:09,023
One of my girlfriends,
she was Mexican, real-talk.

604
00:34:09,940 --> 00:34:10,941
Uh...

605
00:34:11,067 --> 00:34:12,568
She gone now,

606
00:34:13,903 --> 00:34:15,863
but she left these.

607
00:34:22,536 --> 00:34:24,016
I have nothing to
trade you for those.

608
00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:26,916
People forget we was
all new here once.

609
00:34:29,752 --> 00:34:31,336
It's good to know
you ain't alone.

610
00:34:46,268 --> 00:34:47,811
LARRY: This feels awesome!

611
00:34:48,979 --> 00:34:51,398
My senses feel heightened,
I'm like a fucking werewolf.

612
00:34:51,481 --> 00:34:52,524
Larry?

613
00:34:52,649 --> 00:34:55,527
My skin is clear,
I'm lighter on my feet,

614
00:34:55,611 --> 00:34:56,779
and in the bathroom
this morning...

615
00:34:56,904 --> 00:34:57,863
Oh, please.

616
00:34:57,947 --> 00:35:01,617
Epic. Even better than yesterday.
Lord of the Rings. (CHUCKLES)

617
00:35:05,621 --> 00:35:11,001
What if we only did
this for five days?

618
00:35:14,088 --> 00:35:15,422
You wanna cut it short?

619
00:35:16,132 --> 00:35:18,134
Not cut it short. Just...

620
00:35:20,177 --> 00:35:21,303
Yes.

621
00:35:23,764 --> 00:35:25,515
This was your idea.

622
00:35:25,641 --> 00:35:27,977
Can we not make it a thing? This
doesn't have to be a thing.

623
00:35:28,102 --> 00:35:29,352
It's not a competition.

624
00:35:29,478 --> 00:35:31,230
I mean, you can't win
the Master Cleanse.

625
00:35:31,563 --> 00:35:32,815
Can't I?

626
00:35:34,066 --> 00:35:37,111
Here, drink up, love.

627
00:35:37,527 --> 00:35:38,904
All right?

628
00:35:39,321 --> 00:35:40,322
You'll feel better.

629
00:35:42,992 --> 00:35:44,326
(SNIFFING)

630
00:35:48,622 --> 00:35:49,665
What is that?

631
00:35:49,790 --> 00:35:51,333
You are not a werewolf.

632
00:35:51,416 --> 00:35:52,835
(SNIFFS) Oh.

633
00:35:53,919 --> 00:35:55,129
What are you doing?

634
00:35:55,879 --> 00:35:57,923
You fucker. Seriously?

635
00:35:58,882 --> 00:36:00,217
It was all that we had.

636
00:36:00,342 --> 00:36:02,886
Mr. Fox's Honey
Barbecue Pork Rinds?

637
00:36:03,012 --> 00:36:04,054
They're baked.

638
00:36:04,221 --> 00:36:06,307
Piper, we were
in this together.

639
00:36:06,389 --> 00:36:08,892
I know, I'm sorry.

640
00:36:10,311 --> 00:36:12,062
Oh, God.

641
00:36:13,272 --> 00:36:14,315
(SIGHS)

642
00:36:15,357 --> 00:36:16,733
You smell so good.

643
00:36:18,819 --> 00:36:21,363
Oh, my God. Come here.

644
00:36:22,531 --> 00:36:23,866
(CHUCKLING)

645
00:36:31,874 --> 00:36:33,083
I totally win.

646
00:36:33,209 --> 00:36:35,460
(CHUCKLING)

647
00:36:36,920 --> 00:36:42,301
WOMAN OVER PA: Two, nine and
seventeen, dinner is now available.

648
00:36:45,637 --> 00:36:46,680
Aw.
(SNIFFLES)

649
00:36:47,181 --> 00:36:49,225
Don't be so sad.

650
00:36:49,350 --> 00:36:51,310
Poor little baby.

651
00:36:53,854 --> 00:36:56,398
Dinner's in five.
I hear it's a big one.

652
00:36:56,523 --> 00:36:57,816
Yum, yum.

653
00:37:00,569 --> 00:37:02,112
(CHOMPING)

654
00:37:32,101 --> 00:37:33,352
(SOBBING)

655
00:37:35,645 --> 00:37:37,564
TAYSTEE:
Thank you, dead bitch.

656
00:37:37,647 --> 00:37:39,047
WOMAN OVER PA:
Don't forget, ladies,

657
00:37:39,066 --> 00:37:40,984
your usual meal
is 1,500 calories.

658
00:37:41,110 --> 00:37:42,403
Ain't nobody got this.

659
00:37:42,527 --> 00:37:43,862
It's that hotness.
Beware of overeating.

660
00:37:43,987 --> 00:37:45,364
That new shit.

661
00:37:45,447 --> 00:37:48,117
My hair is yellow as that
corn right there, girl.

662
00:37:48,200 --> 00:37:49,285
(ALL LAUGHING)

663
00:37:51,494 --> 00:37:52,495
No, no, no.
Look, I love these things.

664
00:37:52,621 --> 00:37:53,622
I want extra.

665
00:37:53,705 --> 00:37:55,207
Yeah, can I get some more corn?

666
00:37:55,291 --> 00:37:56,583
GINA: No.

667
00:39:29,134 --> 00:39:32,304
Navi. Amy.

668
00:39:36,808 --> 00:39:38,727
Forgot I even had this.

669
00:39:39,811 --> 00:39:42,147
Oh, no thanks, love,
I'm too old for hooch.

670
00:39:42,231 --> 00:39:45,567
Don't insult me.
Single malt. 12 year.

671
00:39:51,073 --> 00:39:53,283
(EXCLAIMS) Jesus Christ!

672
00:39:53,409 --> 00:39:57,037
And that was in '04.
It's only gotten better.

673
00:39:57,120 --> 00:39:58,497
So have we.

674
00:39:58,580 --> 00:40:00,040
Tell my ass.

675
00:40:56,805 --> 00:40:58,181
Oh, no.

676
00:40:59,182 --> 00:41:00,225
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)

677
00:41:00,350 --> 00:41:01,977
It's the one without culture.

678
00:41:03,645 --> 00:41:04,687
Red.

679
00:41:04,813 --> 00:41:08,442
And the penguin goes, "He's not
an eggplant, he's retarded."

680
00:41:08,525 --> 00:41:09,901
It's fucking funny.

681
00:41:10,193 --> 00:41:11,153
It's just not.

682
00:41:11,278 --> 00:41:12,237
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)

683
00:41:12,321 --> 00:41:13,738
That awful dye job...

684
00:41:13,822 --> 00:41:15,532
on your head make
me giggle though.

685
00:41:15,657 --> 00:41:16,658
(LAUGHS)
You...

686
00:41:17,159 --> 00:41:18,201
Aah!

687
00:41:19,411 --> 00:41:20,621
(GASPS)
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)

688
00:41:20,703 --> 00:41:23,165
You popped her tit!

689
00:41:23,290 --> 00:41:24,707
Oh, shit.

690
00:41:25,459 --> 00:41:29,463
What the fuck were you thinking?
After all Ganya's done for us.

691
00:41:30,046 --> 00:41:31,340
He loved those tits.

692
00:41:31,465 --> 00:41:33,675
He'll get them back. There's plenty
more of them at the tit store.

693
00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:36,678
Did you count to 10? You're
supposed to count to 10.

694
00:41:36,886 --> 00:41:38,847
I never even wanted to
speak to those pizdy!

695
00:41:38,930 --> 00:41:40,056
You made me.

696
00:41:40,349 --> 00:41:41,850
Why did you do such a thing?

697
00:41:41,975 --> 00:41:45,687
Because they left me out!
Because they made fun of me!

698
00:41:45,770 --> 00:41:49,274
Because no matter how hard you
try and how much we want it,

699
00:41:49,358 --> 00:41:50,984
there's the people
who serve the bread,

700
00:41:51,067 --> 00:41:52,611
and the people
who eat the bread!

701
00:41:52,694 --> 00:41:57,032
And for once, it would be nice
if you would be on my side.

702
00:42:03,955 --> 00:42:04,998
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)

703
00:42:05,123 --> 00:42:07,834
I'm on your side, Galya.

704
00:42:08,251 --> 00:42:09,545
I'm with you.

705
00:42:09,878 --> 00:42:15,717
And together we gotta figure this
out, cause this is bad. Real bad.

706
00:42:16,552 --> 00:42:17,719
How bad?

707
00:42:19,888 --> 00:42:22,265
They want $60,000.

708
00:42:23,433 --> 00:42:26,603
No boob job costs $60,000.

709
00:42:26,728 --> 00:42:28,063
It's crazy.

710
00:42:28,146 --> 00:42:29,481
This one does.

711
00:42:31,400 --> 00:42:35,111
(SOBBING) I was...
I was just...

712
00:42:36,988 --> 00:42:38,615
They're so mean.

713
00:42:39,032 --> 00:42:40,450
So are the men they married.

714
00:42:40,576 --> 00:42:41,910
(DISTANT SIREN WAILING)

715
00:42:42,035 --> 00:42:43,453
They meaner.

716
00:42:46,498 --> 00:42:48,291
I'm sorry, Dima.

717
00:42:53,338 --> 00:42:55,757
We'll figure out something.

718
00:42:57,384 --> 00:42:58,677
We always do.

719
00:43:01,471 --> 00:43:02,639
It's okay.

720
00:43:02,889 --> 00:43:04,849
(INMATES TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

721
00:43:11,022 --> 00:43:12,107
Red?

722
00:43:12,982 --> 00:43:14,025
She's busy.

723
00:43:14,150 --> 00:43:15,652
This'll only take a second.

724
00:43:21,074 --> 00:43:22,618
For your back.

725
00:43:22,951 --> 00:43:24,661
It's jalapeno rub.

726
00:43:24,953 --> 00:43:26,162
I made it myself.

727
00:43:29,124 --> 00:43:30,584
The capsaicin in the peppers

728
00:43:30,667 --> 00:43:32,387
creates heat which is good
for sore muscles,

729
00:43:32,461 --> 00:43:35,130
and the cocoa butter
is gentle on the skin.

730
00:43:37,882 --> 00:43:41,470
We have a similar product in our
line and my dad swears by it.

731
00:43:41,595 --> 00:43:42,804
He's got sciatica.

732
00:43:42,929 --> 00:43:44,889
These are wrong.
They should say "March."

733
00:43:47,225 --> 00:43:48,393
You can go now.

734
00:43:53,482 --> 00:43:56,526
OFFICER: Count time
starts now. Count time!

735
00:43:56,652 --> 00:43:58,153
(BUZZER SOUNDS)

736
00:44:10,373 --> 00:44:11,583
Line it up. Stop the chatter.

737
00:44:17,714 --> 00:44:19,007
Count time!

738
00:44:23,261 --> 00:44:24,471
(CLICKING)

739
00:44:24,554 --> 00:44:25,847
Dorm A, one through 20.

740
00:44:39,486 --> 00:44:40,926
GUARD: Get that
garbage out of there.

741
00:44:45,575 --> 00:44:47,703
All good. Thank you, ladies.

742
00:44:55,711 --> 00:44:56,877
All good.

743
00:45:21,778 --> 00:45:24,781
COMMENTATOR ON TV: Wilson into left field.
Beautiful hit.

744
00:45:25,532 --> 00:45:27,950
...eludes one tackler.
And he's brought down hard.

745
00:45:28,076 --> 00:45:29,870
"One imagines
somewhere in an attic

746
00:45:30,078 --> 00:45:32,539
"there's a painting of him
that's rapidly aging."

747
00:45:32,622 --> 00:45:34,457
For a guy from Ad Age,
he can really write.

748
00:45:34,624 --> 00:45:36,292
ROGER: He also says
you're married.

749
00:45:36,501 --> 00:45:40,422
DON: Jesus. He never asked me that.
Did he check any facts?

750
00:45:40,547 --> 00:45:42,257
ROGER: You didn't
give him any facts.

751
00:45:42,382 --> 00:45:44,092
He had to make
some assumptions.

752
00:45:44,259 --> 00:45:48,221
My job is to write ads, not go
around talking about who I am.

753
00:45:48,346 --> 00:45:49,431
Who knows who you are?

754
00:45:49,514 --> 00:45:52,434
This was supposed to be
an advertisement for the firm.

755
00:45:52,559 --> 00:45:53,769
DON: Why do you
have so many copies?

756
00:45:53,852 --> 00:45:55,019
ROGER: I bought one to read.

757
00:45:55,103 --> 00:45:57,023
And I was going to buy one
to frame in reception.

758
00:45:57,938 --> 00:46:00,108
CAPUTO: That new freezer
cost more than my car.

759
00:46:00,358 --> 00:46:02,360
Freon leak, huh?

760
00:46:02,444 --> 00:46:03,653
Most likely.

761
00:46:03,779 --> 00:46:07,616
You know, huffers, addicts.
Anything to get high.

762
00:46:08,867 --> 00:46:11,453
Anyone in here
huff that much Freon,

763
00:46:11,536 --> 00:46:14,122
we'd have a body
to show for it.

764
00:46:17,918 --> 00:46:21,087
Even you gotta know
when you're gettin' played.

765
00:46:22,255 --> 00:46:25,258
WOMAN OVER PA: Catholic, Buddhist,
Jewish and Muslim services

766
00:46:25,341 --> 00:46:28,303
will begin tomorrow
in the chapel at 9:00 a.m.

767
00:46:33,767 --> 00:46:35,976
(INMATES TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

768
00:46:43,443 --> 00:46:45,153
They said to give you this.

769
00:46:47,697 --> 00:46:51,660
Oh, God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, it worked?

770
00:46:51,785 --> 00:46:53,912
It must've worked.

771
00:46:53,994 --> 00:46:55,956
Your back cream?
Yeah.

772
00:46:56,038 --> 00:46:58,291
She said it burned, it made her
smell like a Puerto Rican,

773
00:46:58,374 --> 00:46:59,459
but you're good now.

774
00:46:59,542 --> 00:47:02,504
Everyone saw how hard you worked.
"A" for Effort.

775
00:47:03,588 --> 00:47:04,714
(CHUCKLES)

776
00:47:04,840 --> 00:47:05,882
Mmm.

777
00:47:08,050 --> 00:47:10,219
(CHUCKLES) It's not that good.

778
00:47:10,345 --> 00:47:11,596
Mmm-hmm.

779
00:47:15,851 --> 00:47:17,686
GINA: Next.
INMATE: Thank you.

780
00:47:28,196 --> 00:47:29,447
Next.

781
00:47:31,115 --> 00:47:32,200
What?

782
00:47:33,242 --> 00:47:34,369
Next.

783
00:47:46,006 --> 00:47:47,423
(DOOR OPENS)

784
00:47:48,633 --> 00:47:49,801
Hello?

785
00:48:04,482 --> 00:48:05,483
Put that in.

786
00:48:09,612 --> 00:48:10,655
(BOTH SPEAKING RUSSIAN)

787
00:48:10,780 --> 00:48:11,990
What's in those?

788
00:48:12,615 --> 00:48:13,783
You don't want to know.

789
00:48:14,784 --> 00:48:16,230
It's fine.

790
00:48:17,996 --> 00:48:19,795
This will make things
right for us.

791
00:48:19,915 --> 00:48:21,416
This doesn't feel right.

792
00:48:21,750 --> 00:48:23,001
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)

793
00:48:25,003 --> 00:48:27,047
We're fine.
We'll work it out.

794
00:48:27,129 --> 00:48:28,130
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)

795
00:48:28,256 --> 00:48:29,382
I promise.

796
00:48:38,934 --> 00:48:40,476
(ALL LAUGHING)

797
00:48:59,996 --> 00:49:01,330
Sorry.

798
00:49:58,096 --> 00:49:59,764
MAN ON TV: Have you
considered the possibility

799
00:49:59,848 --> 00:50:01,599
the reason you haven't been
laid in the last decade

800
00:50:01,683 --> 00:50:03,685
has something to do with your
routine use of the word "Trim"?

801
00:50:03,852 --> 00:50:07,856
Yeah, seven days a week,
56 weeks a year, "Trim!"

802
00:50:09,482 --> 00:50:10,483
That's my bad.

803
00:50:11,151 --> 00:50:13,023
Where's your manners, shithead?

804
00:50:29,544 --> 00:50:31,379
(PEPPY SONG PLAYING)

805
00:50:35,414 --> 00:50:45,718
<font color="#ec14bd">Sync & corrections by honeybunny</font>
<font color="#ec14bd">www.addic7ed.com</font>

