1
00:00:56,440 --> 00:01:06,828
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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00:01:42,364 --> 00:01:44,492
Get out there. Shake hands.
8
00:02:08,683 --> 00:02:09,934
Go meet his wife.
9
00:02:10,351 --> 00:02:12,854
I've been cooking all day.
I smell like onions.
11
00:02:28,870 --> 00:02:30,538
That's disgusting.
12
00:02:31,163 --> 00:02:32,206
And unsanitary.
13
00:02:32,331 --> 00:02:33,541
Keeps 'em warm all day long.
14
00:02:33,666 --> 00:02:34,876
Thanks for this back board.
15
00:02:35,001 --> 00:02:36,043
Pleasure doin'
business with you.
16
00:02:36,168 --> 00:02:37,879
5:00 a.m.
Breakfast time.
17
00:02:38,963 --> 00:02:40,965
So we need request forms for
next spring's non-perishables.
18
00:02:41,048 --> 00:02:42,550
Bring 'em tonight.
19
00:02:42,717 --> 00:02:44,218
Tori's getting out
in six weeks,
20
00:02:44,301 --> 00:02:46,554
so we gotta train someone
new on the feed slicer.
21
00:02:46,679 --> 00:02:47,847
Look into little Sara.
22
00:02:47,930 --> 00:02:49,598
Make sure she
never stabbed people.
23
00:02:49,765 --> 00:02:52,393
And Betty's been acting up again.
The bitch is gonna fuck us.
24
00:02:52,518 --> 00:02:53,811
A little patience.
25
00:02:53,895 --> 00:02:56,313
She's been here a lot of years.
I'll deal with her.
26
00:02:57,356 --> 00:02:58,399
The blondie?
27
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Yes. She's going nuts.
28
00:02:59,942 --> 00:03:01,109
That one's a light touch.
29
00:03:01,235 --> 00:03:02,796
Well, you did serve
her a bloody tampon.
30
00:03:02,862 --> 00:03:04,572
Yeah. Heh.
31
00:03:04,989 --> 00:03:06,198
I'm proud of that one.
32
00:03:07,783 --> 00:03:09,744
I have to go to another prison.
33
00:03:10,369 --> 00:03:11,787
A different one.
34
00:03:11,913 --> 00:03:13,915
You have to move me.
35
00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:16,876
Like this is the Radisson
and you don't like your room?
36
00:03:20,588 --> 00:03:21,672
Why?
37
00:03:21,797 --> 00:03:23,424
Why isn't this the Radisson?
38
00:03:23,507 --> 00:03:25,384
Why do you need to be moved?
39
00:03:28,094 --> 00:03:31,097
Did someone try
to engage with you sexually?
40
00:03:35,937 --> 00:03:37,730
Tell me what
happened out there.
41
00:03:49,700 --> 00:03:51,077
It's fine.
42
00:03:53,579 --> 00:03:55,122
I just freaked out.
43
00:03:56,457 --> 00:03:57,959
I'll be fine.
44
00:04:00,335 --> 00:04:01,336
I'm sure you will.
45
00:04:03,631 --> 00:04:06,133
You're gonna be
late for orientation.
46
00:04:09,845 --> 00:04:11,847
Attention, ladies.
Remember the rules.
47
00:04:11,973 --> 00:04:13,975
- Hey, sorry I'm late.
- Sit down.
48
00:04:25,486 --> 00:04:26,570
That one's broke.
49
00:04:31,659 --> 00:04:32,660
Hi.
50
00:04:32,785 --> 00:04:35,913
Welcome to the Federal
Department of Corrections,
51
00:04:35,997 --> 00:04:37,498
where we strive
52
00:04:37,623 --> 00:04:42,670
to maintain facilities that are
secure, humane, and cost effective.
53
00:04:44,797 --> 00:04:47,382
Night school classes are
offered three nights a week.
54
00:04:47,508 --> 00:04:51,261
There are a variety of
recreational activities available
55
00:04:51,345 --> 00:04:54,974
and clinical visits are offered
at the inmates' request.
56
00:04:55,057 --> 00:04:59,394
But enough about policy. Let's
get to the important stuff.
57
00:05:02,314 --> 00:05:04,274
This is a piece of copper pipe.
58
00:05:04,358 --> 00:05:06,360
And it was taken
from the laundry room.
59
00:05:07,569 --> 00:05:08,654
It's hard.
60
00:05:09,196 --> 00:05:11,699
This was used
to break two ribs.
61
00:05:11,824 --> 00:05:14,284
Could also be used
to crack your skull,
62
00:05:14,368 --> 00:05:17,038
break your knee,
muss up your makeup.
63
00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:20,499
Amongst other things.
64
00:05:21,959 --> 00:05:25,046
Suicidal thoughts will come.
Frequently.
65
00:05:25,129 --> 00:05:28,590
Some days, it'll feel like
there are no other thoughts.
66
00:05:28,716 --> 00:05:30,885
"Do it," they'll say.
67
00:05:31,343 --> 00:05:32,344
"End it."
68
00:05:33,554 --> 00:05:34,722
"Come on."
69
00:05:36,891 --> 00:05:40,394
You'll be assigned bunks soon.
Uniform issue is next week.
70
00:05:41,187 --> 00:05:43,397
State your correct
size on the form.
71
00:05:43,939 --> 00:05:45,482
No baggy hip-hop pants.
72
00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:48,234
Yes, I'm lookin' at you.
73
00:05:50,905 --> 00:05:55,617
Plastic toothbrush with a
razor-blade melted right into it.
74
00:06:03,918 --> 00:06:05,878
Yeah, probably shouldn't
have showed you that one.
75
00:06:06,712 --> 00:06:08,630
The women who made
and used these items
76
00:06:08,756 --> 00:06:11,884
are now in the SHU
or down at the max facility
77
00:06:11,967 --> 00:06:15,429
with added sentences. Their
lives are basically over.
78
00:06:16,222 --> 00:06:17,765
Hello, ladies.
79
00:06:18,473 --> 00:06:19,850
I am Natalie Figueroa.
80
00:06:19,934 --> 00:06:22,228
I am the Executive
Assistant to the warden.
81
00:06:22,310 --> 00:06:24,270
I try and visit often.
82
00:06:24,396 --> 00:06:25,898
If you have any concerns,
83
00:06:25,981 --> 00:06:28,150
specifically regarding
your needs as women,
84
00:06:28,274 --> 00:06:31,445
please come to me.
I will handle them personally.
85
00:06:33,447 --> 00:06:34,782
Yeah, she will.
86
00:06:34,907 --> 00:06:36,784
I had a question, actually.
87
00:06:36,909 --> 00:06:38,827
Today I'm only
here as a formality.
88
00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:47,002
Next.
89
00:06:49,421 --> 00:06:50,547
Next.
90
00:06:53,801 --> 00:06:54,802
Next.
91
00:06:54,927 --> 00:06:56,220
No. Wait.
92
00:06:57,679 --> 00:06:58,806
Next.
93
00:07:01,307 --> 00:07:02,434
Seriously?
94
00:07:04,561 --> 00:07:05,562
Next.
95
00:07:09,942 --> 00:07:10,985
Come on.
96
00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:26,416
Dorm D, Dorm D,
laundry is ready for drop-off.
97
00:07:32,798 --> 00:07:33,841
Uh-uh.
98
00:07:34,675 --> 00:07:35,926
They're not letting me eat.
99
00:07:37,385 --> 00:07:39,138
That sounds like a whole
lot of your problem.
100
00:07:41,515 --> 00:07:43,851
We don't leave lunch
till lunch is over.
101
00:08:16,300 --> 00:08:17,551
Mmm-hmm.
102
00:08:18,135 --> 00:08:19,386
Uh-huh.
103
00:08:21,138 --> 00:08:23,265
Come sit with us.
Not with Crazy Eyes.
104
00:08:29,563 --> 00:08:30,731
Rough morning?
105
00:08:31,940 --> 00:08:33,025
Something like that.
106
00:08:33,108 --> 00:08:34,693
We should've
warned you about Red.
107
00:08:35,236 --> 00:08:39,240
Well, I just didn't expect to be
punished while I was getting punished.
108
00:08:41,367 --> 00:08:42,951
You gotta fix that.
Make it right.
109
00:08:43,077 --> 00:08:44,078
How?
110
00:08:44,245 --> 00:08:48,082
I find it best to
confront things head-on.
111
00:08:48,707 --> 00:08:51,168
Know what?
I'm just gonna apologize.
112
00:08:51,252 --> 00:08:54,255
I'm just gonna very
sincerely apologize.
113
00:08:54,338 --> 00:08:59,426
People make mistakes. People say
stupid things all the time.
114
00:08:59,593 --> 00:09:00,635
Uh-huh.
115
00:09:02,137 --> 00:09:03,638
She's gotta
understand that, right?
116
00:09:11,939 --> 00:09:13,357
Check this shit out.
117
00:09:21,407 --> 00:09:22,449
Who are you?
118
00:09:22,574 --> 00:09:24,201
Her daughter. Who are you?
119
00:09:24,326 --> 00:09:25,452
Her daughter.
120
00:09:34,669 --> 00:09:36,964
What's the matter, you
don't wanna hit me again?
121
00:09:37,047 --> 00:09:39,549
From here on out, this
place will hit you for me.
122
00:09:44,930 --> 00:09:48,267
This orange thing,
it's like, I glow in the dark.
123
00:09:48,350 --> 00:09:50,311
The guard with the mustache
keeps staring at me.
124
00:09:50,436 --> 00:09:51,979
Since when do you hate that?
125
00:09:56,608 --> 00:09:57,943
You got any extra khakis?
126
00:09:58,944 --> 00:10:02,156
No. Well, not in your size.
127
00:10:08,495 --> 00:10:12,374
And don't be in such a rush to
get out of that orange, sabes?
128
00:10:12,499 --> 00:10:15,294
Once you're in these,
you're old news.
129
00:10:21,258 --> 00:10:24,011
White girl said somethin'
nasty about Red's food,
130
00:10:24,094 --> 00:10:26,534
then Red sent her a message 'cause
white girl better recognize.
131
00:10:26,554 --> 00:10:27,514
A message?
132
00:10:27,639 --> 00:10:29,433
Egg McTampon. Rare.
133
00:10:29,516 --> 00:10:31,852
So now nobody's
givin' her nothin' to eat.
134
00:10:31,935 --> 00:10:33,354
Not until Red say so.
135
00:10:34,104 --> 00:10:35,356
That's...
136
00:10:36,564 --> 00:10:37,565
Thanks.
137
00:10:37,691 --> 00:10:39,609
This ain't gonna get
Red in trouble, right?
138
00:10:39,693 --> 00:10:40,902
'Cause I ain't no snitch.
139
00:10:41,028 --> 00:10:44,239
No. Of course not.
I mean, probably not.
140
00:10:45,491 --> 00:10:46,700
I haven't decided yet.
141
00:10:47,575 --> 00:10:48,576
Hold up.
142
00:10:50,954 --> 00:10:52,039
Where my candy?
143
00:11:10,891 --> 00:11:12,558
Get me another towel.
144
00:11:24,863 --> 00:11:26,073
Is this a bad time?
145
00:11:26,156 --> 00:11:27,157
Moment.
146
00:11:41,422 --> 00:11:43,549
About what I said yesterday?
147
00:11:43,673 --> 00:11:48,345
It was careless and it was rude.
And I am really sorry.
148
00:11:49,595 --> 00:11:52,099
I appreciate everything
that you do here,
149
00:11:52,182 --> 00:11:54,435
I can't imagine how
much work it takes,
150
00:11:54,560 --> 00:11:57,438
and since we're clearly gonna be
spending some time together...
151
00:11:57,603 --> 00:11:59,773
Don't forget the toes, Norma.
152
00:12:03,068 --> 00:12:09,741
I can tell you take pride in what
you do, and I so respect that.
153
00:12:10,325 --> 00:12:12,077
If someone insulted my work...
154
00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:14,204
What is it, your work?
155
00:12:14,371 --> 00:12:15,372
Oh.
156
00:12:15,456 --> 00:12:18,875
Um, I make artisanal bath products.
We got into Barneys.
157
00:12:20,377 --> 00:12:21,962
Artisanal?
158
00:12:22,463 --> 00:12:25,215
I'm just saying we're not that
different, you and I. That's all.
159
00:12:27,301 --> 00:12:30,387
And I understand
how stupid I've been.
160
00:12:31,763 --> 00:12:33,223
I really apologize.
161
00:12:35,601 --> 00:12:36,768
I'm sorry.
162
00:12:46,861 --> 00:12:48,196
You seem sweet.
163
00:12:51,325 --> 00:12:52,993
You really do, honey.
164
00:12:56,662 --> 00:12:59,458
But I can't do shit
with "I'm sorry."
165
00:13:00,375 --> 00:13:01,585
Not in here.
166
00:13:03,837 --> 00:13:05,506
Might not look like it,
167
00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:08,008
but there's rules
in this place.
168
00:13:08,967 --> 00:13:11,094
The most important of which is,
169
00:13:11,845 --> 00:13:14,722
the second you're
perceived as weak,
170
00:13:15,349 --> 00:13:17,142
you already are.
171
00:13:21,021 --> 00:13:22,564
What do you want me to do?
172
00:13:23,106 --> 00:13:24,858
You're a smart girl.
173
00:13:36,537 --> 00:13:38,205
Figure something out.
174
00:13:44,294 --> 00:13:46,505
That girl got some nice legs.
175
00:13:50,967 --> 00:13:52,135
What the fuck is this?
176
00:13:52,969 --> 00:13:55,222
Oh, it's my treat I'm savin'.
Just leave it.
177
00:13:56,097 --> 00:13:57,224
Leave it?
178
00:13:57,723 --> 00:13:58,975
Fuck leave it.
179
00:13:59,059 --> 00:14:01,353
You can't put your sticky
ice cream shit in here.
180
00:14:01,436 --> 00:14:04,565
It ain't just an ice cream.
It's a King Cone.
181
00:14:05,857 --> 00:14:06,941
Man!
182
00:14:07,067 --> 00:14:08,068
Get off me, girl!
183
00:14:12,406 --> 00:14:13,615
Get this bitch off of me!
184
00:14:26,670 --> 00:14:28,589
B fucking took my hair out!
185
00:14:30,549 --> 00:14:32,842
B Dorm, Itza Martinez...
186
00:14:32,926 --> 00:14:35,178
Please tell me y'all ain't
fighting over ice cream.
187
00:14:36,263 --> 00:14:37,305
King Cone.
188
00:15:07,294 --> 00:15:08,462
You okay, Chapman?
189
00:15:10,672 --> 00:15:11,798
Yeah.
190
00:15:13,133 --> 00:15:14,593
You know,
I'd give you a pretzel
191
00:15:14,676 --> 00:15:16,477
but the walls have eyes,
and I'm not retarded.
192
00:15:20,557 --> 00:15:24,811
When I first got here,
I had troubles like you.
193
00:15:26,271 --> 00:15:28,649
There was a disagreement.
194
00:15:29,899 --> 00:15:31,526
Then we brawled.
195
00:15:32,152 --> 00:15:34,446
That's how you settled things.
196
00:15:35,071 --> 00:15:36,490
And if I'd have won,
197
00:15:37,073 --> 00:15:39,618
I'd have been la jefa.
198
00:15:39,701 --> 00:15:41,328
Instead of this.
199
00:15:42,996 --> 00:15:45,582
Thank God I got cancer.
200
00:15:46,249 --> 00:15:48,918
No one fucks with cancer.
201
00:15:54,341 --> 00:15:55,842
Good talk.
202
00:15:57,844 --> 00:15:59,137
Fuck!
203
00:16:15,696 --> 00:16:17,572
So it's nothing but lemonade?
204
00:16:18,114 --> 00:16:19,282
It's a cleanse.
205
00:16:19,366 --> 00:16:22,369
No vegetable juice? Fiber?
206
00:16:22,536 --> 00:16:24,954
We are going to deny
ourselves sustenance
207
00:16:25,038 --> 00:16:28,500
while there are people
that starve in Kinshasa?
208
00:16:31,545 --> 00:16:33,087
It's racist to
just say "Africa."
209
00:16:34,214 --> 00:16:35,632
You put cayenne pepper in this?
210
00:16:35,716 --> 00:16:39,052
Yes! Yes.
It flushes out toxins.
211
00:16:40,220 --> 00:16:43,390
We don't smoke,
we don't snort crack.
212
00:16:44,974 --> 00:16:47,310
Honey, don't you think the little
rocks would hurt your nose
213
00:16:47,394 --> 00:16:49,020
if you tried to snort crack?
214
00:16:49,563 --> 00:16:50,564
I think you mean coke.
215
00:16:50,689 --> 00:16:52,023
You know what I mean.
216
00:16:52,106 --> 00:16:55,068
You know, you don't let me buy
food unless it's locally-grown,
217
00:16:55,193 --> 00:16:57,195
grass-fed, conflict-free...
218
00:16:57,278 --> 00:16:59,239
I'm perfectly fine
doing this on my own.
219
00:16:59,447 --> 00:17:01,527
No. No, no, no, no. Honey,
that's not what I'm saying.
220
00:17:01,575 --> 00:17:03,368
- You're making fun of it.
- No. I'm just...
221
00:17:03,451 --> 00:17:04,703
When you said cleanse,
222
00:17:04,786 --> 00:17:06,872
I thought you meant
we'd be eating more kale.
223
00:17:06,996 --> 00:17:09,708
We can eat more kale when we're
transitioning back to food.
224
00:17:09,833 --> 00:17:10,834
Okay.
225
00:17:11,459 --> 00:17:13,044
What about dinners out?
226
00:17:14,421 --> 00:17:15,630
Weekend brunches?
227
00:17:15,756 --> 00:17:18,007
I mean, isn't this gonna
turn us into anti-social losers?
228
00:17:18,216 --> 00:17:21,428
Well, it doesn't have to.
229
00:17:26,391 --> 00:17:32,606
I'm not gonna be the guy that shows
up with his lemonade cuppie.
230
00:17:35,233 --> 00:17:37,611
Okay. Okay.
231
00:17:37,861 --> 00:17:41,448
For me, this is it
for the next seven days.
232
00:17:42,783 --> 00:17:45,993
If you wanna back out, I'm
not gonna love you any less.
233
00:17:46,787 --> 00:17:48,663
We did say that we were
gonna do it together.
234
00:17:48,789 --> 00:17:51,875
But if you don't
wanna be "that guy,"
235
00:17:51,958 --> 00:17:56,212
I'm perfectly happy
doing it on my own.
236
00:18:04,053 --> 00:18:05,346
Well, where's the fun in that?
237
00:18:05,513 --> 00:18:07,599
See?
238
00:18:13,313 --> 00:18:14,898
Oh, God.
239
00:18:16,650 --> 00:18:18,693
Number four,
on the left. Next!
240
00:18:27,327 --> 00:18:28,787
Turn around.
241
00:18:30,330 --> 00:18:31,915
Hold it right there.
242
00:18:35,669 --> 00:18:36,670
Next!
243
00:18:36,753 --> 00:18:38,505
Oh, look, it's the fiance.
244
00:18:39,297 --> 00:18:40,423
Put your bag down, please.
245
00:18:40,507 --> 00:18:41,549
I should be on the list.
246
00:18:41,883 --> 00:18:44,511
And I should be on American Idol,
but I can't sing for shit.
247
00:18:48,682 --> 00:18:50,141
No Larry Bloom here.
248
00:18:50,308 --> 00:18:51,392
What?
249
00:18:55,522 --> 00:18:56,857
Oh, this is from last week.
250
00:18:59,818 --> 00:19:01,152
Where's this week's?
251
00:19:01,235 --> 00:19:02,988
In another office.
252
00:19:19,045 --> 00:19:20,087
Have a seat.
253
00:19:20,213 --> 00:19:23,383
When in the visitation
room, you're allowed two hugs,
254
00:19:23,717 --> 00:19:26,344
one on arrival,
and one on departure.
255
00:19:50,410 --> 00:19:52,662
Okay, try not to crowd around, ladies.
Come on, now.
256
00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:55,707
- Thank you.
- Itza Martinez again...
257
00:19:55,790 --> 00:19:57,166
Thank you.
258
00:20:02,547 --> 00:20:03,757
Can I have some gum?
259
00:20:04,925 --> 00:20:08,469
Sorry. Can't do that.
Inmates aren't allowed.
260
00:20:08,595 --> 00:20:10,638
I get it. You can't
give special treatment.
261
00:20:11,264 --> 00:20:13,058
It'd look funny.
Like I liked you.
262
00:20:15,268 --> 00:20:16,310
Don't you?
263
00:20:25,779 --> 00:20:27,280
Oh, my God, honey!
264
00:20:27,363 --> 00:20:28,782
- Oh, baby. Hey!
- Hi.
265
00:20:28,907 --> 00:20:30,199
- Honey. Oh!
- Hi.
266
00:20:30,324 --> 00:20:31,492
That's enough.
267
00:20:33,411 --> 00:20:34,454
Sorry. I'm so sorry I'm late.
268
00:20:34,537 --> 00:20:35,538
No. It's fine.
269
00:20:35,622 --> 00:20:36,623
I swear I was here,
270
00:20:36,748 --> 00:20:38,416
but I think they were, like,
deliberately fucking with me.
271
00:20:38,499 --> 00:20:40,585
No, whatever, it's fine.
You're here. Oh!
272
00:20:40,710 --> 00:20:41,753
You look great!
273
00:20:41,836 --> 00:20:42,921
I mean, who knew
you could rock orange?
274
00:20:43,004 --> 00:20:44,005
Please. Come on!
275
00:20:44,130 --> 00:20:45,131
Seriously,
276
00:20:45,214 --> 00:20:47,300
and your face is
like all cheekboney.
277
00:20:47,467 --> 00:20:50,720
Well, I haven't
eaten since Wednesday.
278
00:20:50,804 --> 00:20:51,805
What?
279
00:20:52,430 --> 00:20:53,598
She's
starving me out.
280
00:20:53,681 --> 00:20:54,808
Who?
281
00:20:57,268 --> 00:20:58,645
Oh, my God.
282
00:20:59,437 --> 00:21:00,438
Do you have any change?
283
00:21:01,230 --> 00:21:04,275
Oh, yeah. Yeah, I think so.
What do you want?
284
00:21:04,484 --> 00:21:07,153
Literally anything. Go.
285
00:21:18,873 --> 00:21:19,916
No.
286
00:21:20,875 --> 00:21:22,075
I don't think they work, honey.
287
00:21:22,168 --> 00:21:23,210
No.
288
00:21:25,005 --> 00:21:26,131
No! No.
289
00:21:26,213 --> 00:21:28,925
Inmate, step away
from the machine.
290
00:21:29,634 --> 00:21:30,755
He just called you "inmate."
291
00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:32,553
- You too, sir.
- Sorry.
292
00:21:34,681 --> 00:21:36,016
This is her.
She did this.
293
00:21:36,099 --> 00:21:37,350
Who? Who are you
talking about?
294
00:21:37,433 --> 00:21:39,102
The woman who runs the kitchen.
295
00:21:39,185 --> 00:21:40,854
What? Why are we whispering?
296
00:21:41,813 --> 00:21:44,607
She's starving me out.
I insulted the food.
297
00:21:44,691 --> 00:21:46,026
Oh, Piper.
298
00:21:46,609 --> 00:21:48,028
Your foot in mouth disease?
299
00:21:48,111 --> 00:21:49,821
I'm an idiot.
300
00:21:49,904 --> 00:21:52,032
She's issued
a fucking fatwa against me.
301
00:21:54,617 --> 00:21:56,017
I think I'm gonna
have to fight her.
302
00:21:56,077 --> 00:21:57,078
What?
303
00:21:57,203 --> 00:21:59,455
How am I supposed to
prison-fight an old Russian lady
304
00:21:59,539 --> 00:22:01,332
with back problems?
305
00:22:01,415 --> 00:22:04,251
Hey, Piper, come on. You're not.
That's ridiculous.
306
00:22:04,377 --> 00:22:08,173
You don't have to fight anybody. Okay?
Hey, hey, hey, stop. Stop.
307
00:22:08,297 --> 00:22:09,382
No touching.
308
00:22:09,549 --> 00:22:10,717
Jesus.
309
00:22:11,676 --> 00:22:13,678
- It's gonna be okay.
- Mmm.
310
00:22:14,054 --> 00:22:15,055
- All right?
- Uh-uh.
311
00:22:15,221 --> 00:22:16,701
Your commissary
money's coming, right?
312
00:22:16,764 --> 00:22:19,475
I sent the check
the minute I left here.
313
00:22:19,559 --> 00:22:20,601
Express mail.
314
00:22:21,019 --> 00:22:22,699
Even if you have to
live off Snickers bars,
315
00:22:22,729 --> 00:22:24,229
it's gonna be okay.
316
00:22:30,987 --> 00:22:32,655
I hate that you're
seeing me like this.
317
00:22:33,573 --> 00:22:34,782
At least I get to see you.
318
00:22:38,411 --> 00:22:40,163
Tell me that you're
not watching Mad Men.
319
00:22:40,245 --> 00:22:41,246
What?
320
00:22:41,706 --> 00:22:43,875
Promise me you're not
watching Mad Men without me,
321
00:22:43,958 --> 00:22:47,336
that when I get out of here, we're
gonna binge watch it, together,
322
00:22:47,420 --> 00:22:49,589
in bed, with take-out from...
323
00:22:49,672 --> 00:22:50,924
Gertie's?
324
00:22:51,049 --> 00:22:52,299
Yes. Yes.
325
00:22:52,425 --> 00:22:54,385
Yes. Of course. 100%.
326
00:22:56,261 --> 00:22:58,806
Visiting hours
have come to a close.
327
00:22:58,932 --> 00:23:01,475
Jesus. Really?
That was like two minutes.
328
00:23:01,601 --> 00:23:03,770
Visitors, please make
your way to the exit.
329
00:23:04,104 --> 00:23:05,105
We can hug again.
330
00:23:05,230 --> 00:23:06,271
What?
331
00:23:06,397 --> 00:23:07,690
Once coming in, once going out.
332
00:23:08,066 --> 00:23:09,234
Come here.
333
00:23:10,526 --> 00:23:11,611
Oh!
334
00:23:13,238 --> 00:23:14,321
I love you, babe.
335
00:23:54,112 --> 00:23:55,280
Sorry.
336
00:24:06,833 --> 00:24:08,084
Red?
337
00:24:09,294 --> 00:24:10,335
Red?
338
00:24:14,966 --> 00:24:15,967
What is it?
339
00:24:17,635 --> 00:24:18,886
Betty's dead.
340
00:24:25,268 --> 00:24:27,103
She was a good girl.
341
00:24:27,187 --> 00:24:28,688
No one heard her go.
342
00:24:29,354 --> 00:24:30,815
Get over it.
It's a freezer.
343
00:24:31,983 --> 00:24:35,360
See, what happened here was a
breach in the main coolant line.
344
00:24:35,528 --> 00:24:37,030
Big, nasty breach.
345
00:24:37,362 --> 00:24:39,032
Ugly breach.
Bad, bad breach.
346
00:24:39,157 --> 00:24:40,616
What's that smell?
347
00:24:41,201 --> 00:24:42,285
That's the Freon.
348
00:24:42,952 --> 00:24:44,745
Some people use it for huffing.
349
00:24:45,163 --> 00:24:47,248
Makes for a super intense,
but short-lived high.
350
00:24:47,372 --> 00:24:50,877
Similar to crack, uh,
but without the migraines.
351
00:24:53,546 --> 00:24:56,299
Put those in ice water.
Don't stack those, Gina.
352
00:24:57,550 --> 00:24:58,718
Nice pussy.
353
00:24:58,926 --> 00:24:59,969
Don't ask.
354
00:25:00,053 --> 00:25:01,721
I don't intend to.
355
00:25:01,929 --> 00:25:03,730
Thanksgiving's coming twice
this year, ladies.
356
00:25:03,848 --> 00:25:05,432
Spread the word.
357
00:25:07,185 --> 00:25:10,146
Okay, I understand
what you have to do.
358
00:25:10,230 --> 00:25:11,522
What?
359
00:25:11,647 --> 00:25:13,107
I'm not a fighter.
360
00:25:13,816 --> 00:25:14,859
Go ahead.
361
00:25:14,942 --> 00:25:16,319
I'm a little busy here.
Pick up those rags.
362
00:25:16,401 --> 00:25:17,561
I'm not going to swing first.
363
00:25:17,570 --> 00:25:18,612
Good.
364
00:25:18,738 --> 00:25:20,073
Just hit me and
get it over with.
365
00:25:20,198 --> 00:25:21,490
I said I'm a little busy.
366
00:25:21,574 --> 00:25:22,950
I'm not leaving
until you do it.
367
00:25:23,910 --> 00:25:25,578
Wow.
368
00:25:26,913 --> 00:25:28,248
You want me to hit you?
369
00:25:28,373 --> 00:25:29,582
Yeah.
370
00:25:29,665 --> 00:25:31,416
Okay, get ready.
371
00:25:35,088 --> 00:25:38,007
You called my food disgusting.
372
00:25:42,178 --> 00:25:46,515
You're not getting hazed,
you're not getting harassed,
373
00:25:48,559 --> 00:25:50,019
you're getting starved.
374
00:25:51,354 --> 00:25:52,855
To death.
375
00:25:52,939 --> 00:25:56,943
You'll leave Litchfield
as a skeleton in a body bag.
376
00:25:57,777 --> 00:25:58,819
Pow!
377
00:25:59,820 --> 00:26:03,116
Now, march your yuppie ass
outta my kitchen.
378
00:26:07,870 --> 00:26:11,124
Slowly, so you don't burn
too many calories.
379
00:26:14,294 --> 00:26:17,046
So the third time,
same thing happens.
380
00:26:17,130 --> 00:26:19,882
And the farmer looks at his
wife, then back at the penguin,
381
00:26:19,966 --> 00:26:22,885
and finally the penguin goes,
382
00:26:25,305 --> 00:26:29,642
"He's not an eggplant, man.
He's retarded."
383
00:26:33,020 --> 00:26:34,314
You get it? 'Cause he...
384
00:26:34,479 --> 00:26:35,480
We get it.
385
00:26:37,524 --> 00:26:40,027
My brother was retarded.
386
00:26:40,569 --> 00:26:41,988
Oh, so sorry to hear that.
387
00:26:44,365 --> 00:26:45,992
You know, my husband's
a little slow.
388
00:26:46,826 --> 00:26:48,286
Says he was dropped on his head
389
00:26:48,369 --> 00:26:50,330
when he was born.
Just my luck.
390
00:26:50,455 --> 00:26:53,291
They couldn't have dropped
him on his dick?
391
00:26:53,749 --> 00:26:55,793
I think I slept
wrong last night.
392
00:26:55,876 --> 00:26:57,878
Should we call it
a short walk today, ladies?
393
00:26:58,004 --> 00:26:59,005
Yes.
394
00:26:59,088 --> 00:27:00,248
Oh, you barely broke a sweat.
395
00:27:00,673 --> 00:27:02,507
Oh, my son has
dentist appointment.
396
00:27:02,591 --> 00:27:03,676
Oh, okay.
397
00:27:03,801 --> 00:27:05,011
We're close to your house, no?
398
00:27:05,136 --> 00:27:06,262
Yeah. Right over there.
399
00:27:07,013 --> 00:27:08,222
Same time tomorrow?
400
00:27:08,348 --> 00:27:09,765
We'll let you know.
401
00:27:21,319 --> 00:27:22,445
Oh, shit!
402
00:27:24,822 --> 00:27:26,240
Did no one think
to turn this off?
403
00:27:37,542 --> 00:27:38,627
Where is his highness?
404
00:27:41,297 --> 00:27:42,340
You're out of bounds.
405
00:27:42,423 --> 00:27:44,133
- Healy?
- Sir, I told her not to...
406
00:27:44,217 --> 00:27:46,052
Jesus Christ!
407
00:27:46,260 --> 00:27:47,552
I need a new freezer.
408
00:27:48,221 --> 00:27:49,972
We can talk about
this later, Red.
409
00:27:50,056 --> 00:27:52,308
You have been saying
that for three years.
410
00:27:53,059 --> 00:27:55,220
We're dealing with a very
serious budget situation here.
411
00:27:55,853 --> 00:27:57,021
Should I subdue the inmate?
412
00:27:57,104 --> 00:28:01,275
The warden has been very clear
about spending this quarter.
413
00:28:02,235 --> 00:28:05,321
You want me to walk?
I'll walk, happily.
414
00:28:06,739 --> 00:28:09,574
Remember the last time I gave
back the keys to the kitchen?
415
00:28:10,659 --> 00:28:11,869
I'll see what I can do.
416
00:28:13,162 --> 00:28:14,497
Thank you.
417
00:28:18,084 --> 00:28:21,128
Ugh, like a dying animal
it smells in there.
418
00:28:21,254 --> 00:28:23,923
A dying animal, or just a
man who eats your food?
419
00:28:25,925 --> 00:28:27,385
Ugh with you, too.
420
00:28:29,594 --> 00:28:33,349
That smells fantastic.
It's like fresh muffins.
421
00:28:33,433 --> 00:28:34,892
Dried blueberries.
422
00:28:35,017 --> 00:28:36,810
Twelve fuckin' pounds of 'em.
423
00:28:37,186 --> 00:28:40,440
Funnest hobby ever.
You seen my headphones?
424
00:28:40,565 --> 00:28:41,566
Uh, left drawer.
425
00:28:41,732 --> 00:28:43,012
So you can put
anything in there?
426
00:28:43,067 --> 00:28:44,110
Just about.
427
00:28:44,277 --> 00:28:47,654
Peppermint, basil,
grapefruits, vanilla.
428
00:28:47,780 --> 00:28:48,739
She won't do chocolate.
429
00:28:48,822 --> 00:28:50,783
- It never works.
- Or popcorn.
430
00:28:50,866 --> 00:28:52,743
We're making soap,
not Jelly Bellys.
431
00:28:52,826 --> 00:28:53,994
Sweet.
432
00:28:54,828 --> 00:28:56,268
You know, for Amy,
I think you'd want
433
00:28:56,289 --> 00:28:57,623
something more along the lines
434
00:28:57,748 --> 00:29:01,377
of sage, patchouli,
maybe eucalyptus?
435
00:29:01,752 --> 00:29:03,670
Oh, she's allergic
to eucalyptus,
436
00:29:03,796 --> 00:29:05,672
or she hates it.
I can't remember.
437
00:29:05,798 --> 00:29:06,958
Really? Who hates eucalyptus?
438
00:29:06,966 --> 00:29:09,760
Larry's mother. She thinks
they're "dirty trees."
439
00:29:09,969 --> 00:29:11,050
You're still with that guy?
440
00:29:11,596 --> 00:29:12,763
Thought you wouldn't
make it two months.
441
00:29:12,846 --> 00:29:14,765
- Pete!
- What? You said so, too.
442
00:29:16,517 --> 00:29:17,810
They're moving in together.
443
00:29:17,893 --> 00:29:21,606
Already? Shit.
You are still a lesbian.
444
00:29:24,650 --> 00:29:25,901
- I'm out, ladies.
- Okay.
445
00:29:29,614 --> 00:29:31,616
You could sell these, you know.
446
00:29:33,033 --> 00:29:36,329
At farmers markets,
little boutique stores.
447
00:29:36,537 --> 00:29:37,913
I just kinda like making 'em.
448
00:29:39,248 --> 00:29:40,500
I could be your partner.
449
00:29:41,167 --> 00:29:42,168
What?
450
00:29:43,710 --> 00:29:45,588
This could be something.
451
00:29:45,671 --> 00:29:47,423
I mean, this could
be a thing, Pol.
452
00:29:48,591 --> 00:29:51,636
Market it right and package
it right, this is money.
453
00:29:51,802 --> 00:29:55,515
I mean, it smells
so fucking good in here.
454
00:29:56,349 --> 00:29:57,850
I can make this money.
455
00:29:58,434 --> 00:30:00,186
I make lotions, too.
456
00:30:04,064 --> 00:30:06,108
Yo, y'all got headphones
for movie night?
457
00:30:06,192 --> 00:30:07,943
Sold the last pair
this morning.
458
00:30:08,027 --> 00:30:11,447
That's some bullshit. I ain't
tryin' to watch no silent movie.
459
00:30:11,697 --> 00:30:13,157
Sold out. Next.
460
00:30:13,533 --> 00:30:17,328
Spanish ladies are calling you
La Llorona, the wailing lady.
461
00:30:18,663 --> 00:30:19,997
Well, they would've
screamed just as loud
462
00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:21,915
if someone handed them
a used tampon sandwich.
463
00:30:22,041 --> 00:30:23,292
Oh, yeah.
464
00:30:23,876 --> 00:30:26,379
Or if they suddenly saw
an ex-girlfriend in prison.
465
00:30:26,504 --> 00:30:27,588
Hey, what's her name? Alex?
466
00:30:29,798 --> 00:30:30,883
What did she say to you?
467
00:30:31,050 --> 00:30:33,844
Not a word. I just know
dyke drama when I see it.
468
00:30:35,762 --> 00:30:37,056
You gonna
buy something or not?
469
00:30:37,181 --> 00:30:40,393
Yes. Hi, um, I should
have some credit here.
470
00:30:40,518 --> 00:30:43,729
My fiance sent
a check on Wednesday.
471
00:30:44,063 --> 00:30:46,106
Take seven day to process.
472
00:30:46,315 --> 00:30:48,395
You can use mine. It's not
like you're going anywhere.
473
00:30:48,442 --> 00:30:49,402
For food?
474
00:30:49,527 --> 00:30:50,528
Fuck no.
475
00:30:50,903 --> 00:30:51,945
Okay.
476
00:30:52,112 --> 00:30:53,239
Yo, Chang.
477
00:30:54,740 --> 00:30:56,116
So, some rubber gloves.
478
00:30:58,160 --> 00:30:59,828
Okay, so maybe
some cocoa butter?
479
00:30:59,912 --> 00:31:00,954
Uh, cocoa butter?
480
00:31:01,997 --> 00:31:05,418
Maybe like a sieve of
some kind. A strainer?
481
00:31:05,626 --> 00:31:08,546
Okay. All right.
Yo, you got a strainer?
482
00:31:15,595 --> 00:31:18,389
This is a cup.
Knock yourself out.
483
00:31:19,806 --> 00:31:21,684
You know how often
I come by new weave?
484
00:31:21,767 --> 00:31:23,436
You probably gonna look
like this till Christmas.
485
00:31:23,519 --> 00:31:26,564
Uh-uh. I paid you seven bottles
of Pantene for this shit.
486
00:31:26,647 --> 00:31:29,525
Ain't my fault you went
all UFC over a King Cone.
487
00:31:29,734 --> 00:31:31,569
And if you call it
"shit" one more time,
488
00:31:31,736 --> 00:31:33,613
you can take your
ass down to Danita.
489
00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:35,489
How much to fix it?
490
00:31:35,698 --> 00:31:36,990
- Mmm-hmm.
- Excuse me?
491
00:31:37,991 --> 00:31:40,786
Hi. I'm Chapman.
492
00:31:43,830 --> 00:31:45,916
Yeah, that's me. Um...
493
00:31:46,542 --> 00:31:49,086
I heard you might have
something that I need.
494
00:31:49,211 --> 00:31:51,171
J. Crew is around the corner.
495
00:31:52,715 --> 00:31:54,258
Yeah. Um...
496
00:31:55,050 --> 00:32:00,640
Cocoa butter, or shea butter?
Do you have either of those?
497
00:32:00,765 --> 00:32:02,182
Maybe.
498
00:32:02,308 --> 00:32:04,226
I would just need
an ounce or two.
499
00:32:04,810 --> 00:32:06,330
Ain't you the one
they're starving out?
500
00:32:07,563 --> 00:32:08,564
Yeah.
501
00:32:08,773 --> 00:32:11,484
You got some
fucked-up priorities.
502
00:32:11,609 --> 00:32:12,901
We work on
a barter system here.
503
00:32:12,985 --> 00:32:14,236
You know what
that means, right?
504
00:32:14,320 --> 00:32:15,321
Yes.
505
00:32:15,446 --> 00:32:18,157
Three shower caps
or a round brush.
506
00:32:18,282 --> 00:32:19,562
Whichever they
got at commissary.
507
00:32:20,159 --> 00:32:23,454
Gladly. I will get them to you the
second that my money comes in.
508
00:32:25,831 --> 00:32:27,082
Credit declined.
509
00:32:27,625 --> 00:32:28,626
Please.
510
00:32:29,960 --> 00:32:32,087
"Please" is for commissary
hoes and Oliver Twist.
511
00:32:33,922 --> 00:32:35,675
Hold up. Some of us
tryin' to work here.
512
00:32:35,758 --> 00:32:36,759
I got an idea.
513
00:32:38,385 --> 00:32:39,679
But you ain't gonna like it.
514
00:32:46,226 --> 00:32:48,187
Got that new 'do, Boo.
515
00:33:04,787 --> 00:33:06,372
Chapman's going around
asking for weird stuff, Red.
516
00:33:06,497 --> 00:33:07,540
What stuff?
517
00:33:07,623 --> 00:33:09,542
She's trying to get her
hands on hot peppers.
518
00:33:09,625 --> 00:33:10,835
You think she's gonna mace you?
519
00:33:10,917 --> 00:33:12,712
I don't think so.
520
00:33:12,795 --> 00:33:16,256
But if she does, worst case,
I'll get off my feet for a week.
521
00:33:16,382 --> 00:33:17,883
No, but it wouldn't
hurt your feet.
522
00:33:17,966 --> 00:33:19,926
- It's an expression.
- Mace burns your eyes.
523
00:33:20,052 --> 00:33:21,928
Jesus, God.
524
00:33:24,973 --> 00:33:26,016
Oh.
525
00:33:31,689 --> 00:33:32,981
You okay, Chapman?
526
00:33:36,235 --> 00:33:37,737
Tonight's movie will be
527
00:33:37,862 --> 00:33:40,113
the airplane edit
of Good Luck Chuck,
528
00:33:40,239 --> 00:33:43,784
which Roger Ebert
gives one star. 8:00 p.m.
529
00:33:43,868 --> 00:33:44,993
Are you the new girl?
530
00:33:46,746 --> 00:33:50,290
Yes, I am. Piper.
531
00:33:53,502 --> 00:33:55,254
And you are?
532
00:33:55,337 --> 00:33:59,966
Uh, Sue. It's short for Susie,
which is short for Suzanne.
533
00:34:00,259 --> 00:34:01,802
You
like spicy food?
534
00:34:05,097 --> 00:34:06,139
Sometimes.
535
00:34:06,265 --> 00:34:08,726
One of my girlfriends,
she was Mexican, real-talk.
536
00:34:09,643 --> 00:34:10,644
Uh...
537
00:34:10,770 --> 00:34:12,271
She gone now,
538
00:34:13,606 --> 00:34:15,566
but she left these.
539
00:34:22,239 --> 00:34:23,719
I have nothing to
trade you for those.
540
00:34:23,783 --> 00:34:26,619
People forget we was
all new here once.
541
00:34:29,455 --> 00:34:31,039
It's good to know
you ain't alone.
542
00:34:45,971 --> 00:34:47,514
This feels awesome!
543
00:34:48,682 --> 00:34:51,101
My senses feel heightened,
I'm like a fucking werewolf.
544
00:34:51,184 --> 00:34:52,227
Larry?
545
00:34:52,352 --> 00:34:55,230
My skin is clear,
I'm lighter on my feet,
546
00:34:55,314 --> 00:34:56,482
and in the bathroom
this morning...
547
00:34:56,607 --> 00:34:57,566
Oh, please.
548
00:34:57,650 --> 00:35:01,320
Epic. Even better than yesterday.
Lord of the Rings.
549
00:35:05,324 --> 00:35:10,704
What if we only did
this for five days?
550
00:35:13,791 --> 00:35:15,125
You wanna cut it short?
551
00:35:15,835 --> 00:35:17,837
Not cut it short. Just...
552
00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:21,006
Yes.
553
00:35:23,467 --> 00:35:25,218
This was your idea.
554
00:35:25,344 --> 00:35:27,680
Can we not make it a thing? This
doesn't have to be a thing.
555
00:35:27,805 --> 00:35:29,055
It's not a competition.
556
00:35:29,181 --> 00:35:30,933
I mean, you can't win
the Master Cleanse.
557
00:35:31,266 --> 00:35:32,518
Can't I?
558
00:35:33,769 --> 00:35:36,814
Here, drink up, love.
559
00:35:37,230 --> 00:35:38,607
All right?
560
00:35:39,024 --> 00:35:40,025
You'll feel better.
561
00:35:48,325 --> 00:35:49,368
What is that?
562
00:35:49,493 --> 00:35:51,036
You are not a werewolf.
563
00:35:51,119 --> 00:35:52,538
Oh.
564
00:35:53,622 --> 00:35:54,832
What are you doing?
565
00:35:55,582 --> 00:35:57,626
You fucker. Seriously?
566
00:35:58,585 --> 00:35:59,920
It was all that we had.
567
00:36:00,045 --> 00:36:02,589
Mr. Fox's Honey
Barbecue Pork Rinds?
568
00:36:02,715 --> 00:36:03,757
They're baked.
569
00:36:03,924 --> 00:36:06,010
Piper, we were
in this together.
570
00:36:06,092 --> 00:36:08,595
I know, I'm sorry.
571
00:36:10,014 --> 00:36:11,765
Oh, God.
572
00:36:15,060 --> 00:36:16,436
You smell so good.
573
00:36:18,522 --> 00:36:21,066
Oh, my God. Come here.
574
00:36:31,577 --> 00:36:32,786
I totally win.
575
00:36:36,623 --> 00:36:42,004
Two, nine and
seventeen, dinner is now available.
576
00:36:45,340 --> 00:36:46,383
Aw.
577
00:36:46,884 --> 00:36:48,928
Don't be so sad.
578
00:36:49,053 --> 00:36:51,013
Poor little baby.
579
00:36:53,557 --> 00:36:56,101
Dinner's in five.
I hear it's a big one.
580
00:36:56,226 --> 00:36:57,519
Yum, yum.
581
00:37:35,348 --> 00:37:37,267
Thank you, dead bitch.
582
00:37:37,350 --> 00:37:38,750
Don't forget, ladies,
583
00:37:38,769 --> 00:37:40,687
your usual meal
is 1,500 calories.
584
00:37:40,813 --> 00:37:42,106
Ain't nobody got this.
585
00:37:42,230 --> 00:37:43,565
- Beware of overeating.
- It's that hotness.
586
00:37:43,690 --> 00:37:45,067
That new shit.
587
00:37:45,150 --> 00:37:47,820
My hair is yellow as that
corn right there, girl.
588
00:37:51,197 --> 00:37:52,198
No, no, no.
Look, I love these things.
589
00:37:52,324 --> 00:37:53,325
I want extra.
590
00:37:53,408 --> 00:37:54,910
Yeah, can I get some more corn?
591
00:37:54,994 --> 00:37:56,286
No.
592
00:39:28,837 --> 00:39:32,007
Navi. Amy.
593
00:39:36,511 --> 00:39:38,430
Forgot I even had this.
594
00:39:39,514 --> 00:39:41,850
Oh, no thanks, love,
I'm too old for hooch.
595
00:39:41,934 --> 00:39:45,270
Don't insult me.
Single malt. 12 year.
596
00:39:50,776 --> 00:39:52,986
Jesus Christ!
597
00:39:53,112 --> 00:39:56,740
And that was in '04.
It's only gotten better.
598
00:39:56,823 --> 00:39:58,200
So have we.
599
00:39:58,283 --> 00:39:59,743
Tell my ass.
600
00:40:56,508 --> 00:40:57,884
Oh, no.
601
00:41:00,053 --> 00:41:01,680
It's the one without culture.
602
00:41:03,348 --> 00:41:04,390
Red.
603
00:41:04,516 --> 00:41:08,145
And the penguin goes, "He's not
an eggplant, he's retarded."
604
00:41:08,228 --> 00:41:09,604
It's fucking funny.
605
00:41:09,896 --> 00:41:10,856
It's just not.
606
00:41:12,024 --> 00:41:13,441
That awful dye job...
607
00:41:13,525 --> 00:41:15,235
on your head make
me giggle though.
608
00:41:15,360 --> 00:41:16,361
You...
609
00:41:16,862 --> 00:41:17,904
Aah!
610
00:41:20,406 --> 00:41:22,868
You popped her tit!
611
00:41:22,993 --> 00:41:24,410
Oh, shit.
612
00:41:25,162 --> 00:41:29,166
What the fuck were you thinking?
After all Ganya's done for us.
613
00:41:29,749 --> 00:41:31,043
He loved those tits.
614
00:41:31,168 --> 00:41:33,378
He'll get them back. There's plenty
more of them at the tit store.
615
00:41:33,503 --> 00:41:36,381
Did you count to 10? You're
supposed to count to 10.
616
00:41:36,589 --> 00:41:38,550
I never even wanted to
speak to those pizdy!
617
00:41:38,633 --> 00:41:39,759
You made me.
618
00:41:40,052 --> 00:41:41,553
Why did you do such a thing?
619
00:41:41,678 --> 00:41:45,390
Because they left me out!
Because they made fun of me!
620
00:41:45,473 --> 00:41:48,977
Because no matter how hard you
try and how much we want it,
621
00:41:49,061 --> 00:41:50,687
there's the people
who serve the bread,
622
00:41:50,770 --> 00:41:52,314
and the people
who eat the bread!
623
00:41:52,397 --> 00:41:56,735
And for once, it would be nice
if you would be on my side.
627
00:42:19,591 --> 00:42:21,968
They want $60,000.
628
00:42:23,136 --> 00:42:26,306
No boob job costs $60,000.
629
00:42:26,431 --> 00:42:27,766
It's crazy.
630
00:42:27,849 --> 00:42:29,184
This one does.
631
00:42:31,103 --> 00:42:34,814
I was...
I was just...
632
00:42:36,691 --> 00:42:38,318
They're so mean.
633
00:42:38,735 --> 00:42:40,153
So are the men they married.
634
00:42:41,738 --> 00:42:43,156
They meaner.
635
00:42:46,201 --> 00:42:47,994
I'm sorry, Dima.
636
00:42:53,041 --> 00:42:55,460
We'll figure out something.
637
00:42:57,087 --> 00:42:58,380
We always do.
638
00:43:01,174 --> 00:43:02,342
It's okay.
639
00:43:10,725 --> 00:43:11,810
Red?
640
00:43:12,685 --> 00:43:13,728
She's busy.
641
00:43:13,853 --> 00:43:15,355
This'll only take a second.
642
00:43:20,777 --> 00:43:22,321
For your back.
643
00:43:22,654 --> 00:43:24,364
It's jalapeno rub.
644
00:43:24,656 --> 00:43:25,865
I made it myself.
645
00:43:28,827 --> 00:43:30,287
The capsaicin in the peppers
646
00:43:30,370 --> 00:43:32,090
creates heat which is good
for sore muscles,
647
00:43:32,164 --> 00:43:34,833
and the cocoa butter
is gentle on the skin.
648
00:43:37,585 --> 00:43:41,173
We have a similar product in our
line and my dad swears by it.
649
00:43:41,298 --> 00:43:42,507
He's got sciatica.
650
00:43:42,632 --> 00:43:44,592
These are wrong.
They should say "March."
651
00:43:46,928 --> 00:43:48,096
You can go now.
652
00:43:53,185 --> 00:43:56,229
Count time
starts now. Count time!
653
00:44:10,076 --> 00:44:11,286
Line it up. Stop the chatter.
654
00:44:17,417 --> 00:44:18,710
Count time!
655
00:44:24,257 --> 00:44:25,550
Dorm A, one through 20.
656
00:44:39,189 --> 00:44:40,629
Get that
garbage out of there.
657
00:44:45,278 --> 00:44:47,406
All good. Thank you, ladies.
658
00:44:55,414 --> 00:44:56,580
All good.
659
00:45:21,481 --> 00:45:24,484
Wilson into left field.
Beautiful hit.
660
00:45:25,235 --> 00:45:27,653
...eludes one tackler.
And he's brought down hard.
661
00:45:27,779 --> 00:45:29,573
"One imagines
somewhere in an attic
662
00:45:29,781 --> 00:45:32,242
"there's a painting of him
that's rapidly aging."
663
00:45:32,325 --> 00:45:34,160
For a guy from Ad Age,
he can really write.
664
00:45:34,327 --> 00:45:35,995
He also says
you're married.
665
00:45:36,204 --> 00:45:40,125
Jesus. He never asked me that.
Did he check any facts?
666
00:45:40,250 --> 00:45:41,960
You didn't
give him any facts.
667
00:45:42,085 --> 00:45:43,795
He had to make
some assumptions.
668
00:45:43,962 --> 00:45:47,924
My job is to write ads, not go
around talking about who I am.
669
00:45:48,049 --> 00:45:49,134
Who knows who you are?
670
00:45:49,217 --> 00:45:52,137
This was supposed to be
an advertisement for the firm.
671
00:45:52,262 --> 00:45:53,472
Why do you
have so many copies?
672
00:45:53,555 --> 00:45:54,722
I bought one to read.
673
00:45:54,806 --> 00:45:56,726
And I was going to buy one
to frame in reception.
674
00:45:57,641 --> 00:45:59,811
That new freezer
cost more than my car.
675
00:46:00,061 --> 00:46:02,063
Freon leak, huh?
676
00:46:02,147 --> 00:46:03,356
Most likely.
677
00:46:03,482 --> 00:46:07,319
You know, huffers, addicts.
Anything to get high.
678
00:46:08,570 --> 00:46:11,156
Anyone in here
huff that much Freon,
679
00:46:11,239 --> 00:46:13,825
we'd have a body
to show for it.
680
00:46:17,621 --> 00:46:20,790
Even you gotta know
when you're gettin' played.
681
00:46:21,958 --> 00:46:24,961
Catholic, Buddhist,
Jewish and Muslim services
682
00:46:25,044 --> 00:46:28,006
will begin tomorrow
in the chapel at 9:00 a.m.
683
00:46:43,146 --> 00:46:44,856
They said to give you this.
684
00:46:47,400 --> 00:46:51,363
Oh, God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, it worked?
685
00:46:51,488 --> 00:46:53,615
It must've worked.
686
00:46:53,697 --> 00:46:55,659
- Your back cream?
- Yeah.
687
00:46:55,741 --> 00:46:57,994
She said it burned, it made her
smell like a Puerto Rican,
688
00:46:58,077 --> 00:46:59,162
but you're good now.
689
00:46:59,245 --> 00:47:02,207
Everyone saw how hard you worked.
"A" for Effort.
690
00:47:04,543 --> 00:47:05,585
Mmm.
691
00:47:07,753 --> 00:47:09,922
It's not that good.
692
00:47:10,048 --> 00:47:11,299
Mmm-hmm.
693
00:47:15,554 --> 00:47:17,389
- Next.
- Thank you.
694
00:47:27,899 --> 00:47:29,150
Next.
695
00:47:30,818 --> 00:47:31,903
What?
696
00:47:32,945 --> 00:47:34,072
Next.
697
00:47:48,336 --> 00:47:49,504
Hello?
698
00:48:04,185 --> 00:48:05,186
Put that in.
701
00:48:17,699 --> 00:48:19,498
This will make things
right for us.
702
00:48:19,618 --> 00:48:21,119
This doesn't feel right.
703
00:48:24,706 --> 00:48:26,750
We're fine.
We'll work it out.
704
00:48:27,959 --> 00:48:29,085
I promise.
705
00:48:59,699 --> 00:49:01,033
Sorry.
706
00:49:57,799 --> 00:49:59,467
Have you
considered the possibility
707
00:49:59,551 --> 00:50:01,302
the reason you haven't been
laid in the last decade
708
00:50:01,386 --> 00:50:03,388
has something to do with your
routine use of the word "Trim"?
709
00:50:03,555 --> 00:50:07,559
Yeah, seven days a week,
56 weeks a year, "Trim!"
710
00:50:09,185 --> 00:50:10,186
That's my bad.
711
00:50:10,854 --> 00:50:12,726
Where's your manners, shithead?
712
00:50:35,117 --> 00:50:45,421
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com