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Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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Yo, Burset.
3
00:01:57,867 --> 00:01:59,618
We're clearing out, man.
4
00:02:01,579 --> 00:02:02,747
What the fuck you doing?
5
00:02:03,208 --> 00:02:05,003
Cap wanted me to document the damage.
6
00:02:05,461 --> 00:02:08,172
You gotta check out this life-sized fucking
panda bear they got in their living room,
7
00:02:08,297 --> 00:02:09,256
half burnt.
8
00:02:09,340 --> 00:02:11,009
It's got one melted plastic eye.
9
00:02:11,383 --> 00:02:13,011
Come on, I'll show you.
10
00:02:19,934 --> 00:02:23,062
So I say to her, "You're the third
pregnant girl I've rescued this month."
11
00:02:23,228 --> 00:02:26,190
She goes, "But, I'm not pregnant!"
And I go, "You're not rescued yet!"
12
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Hey, Burset, where the fuck you going?
13
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Gotta drain the hose.
14
00:02:30,695 --> 00:02:33,865
Anyway, you know the fucking
crying guy with the cat? Remember him?
15
00:02:33,990 --> 00:02:35,867
I kept telling him
the cat wasn't in the house.
16
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He kept screaming that I gotta go back in.
17
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Laundry is now available for pick-up.
18
00:04:12,213 --> 00:04:13,923
You sick fuck, do that in the bathroom.
19
00:04:15,258 --> 00:04:16,508
I got cancer.
20
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Is he allowed to watch us like that?
21
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Pornstache?
22
00:04:27,186 --> 00:04:29,188
He does whatever he wants.
23
00:04:29,272 --> 00:04:31,523
One of these days, you're gonna have
to change your panties, Chapman.
24
00:04:31,649 --> 00:04:33,818
That shit's gotta be getting ripe.
25
00:04:33,901 --> 00:04:35,486
Look at this.
26
00:04:35,611 --> 00:04:39,031
I asked Sophia to do my roots,
she says there's a two-week waiting list.
27
00:04:39,323 --> 00:04:43,869
I wouldn't let that he-she
touch my hair with a 10-foot pole.
28
00:04:43,995 --> 00:04:47,275
Well, hey, maybe you'll get lucky and go
bald everywhere but in the tits like Rosa.
29
00:04:47,331 --> 00:04:50,251
And Sophia's pole is a hole now.
30
00:04:50,375 --> 00:04:52,586
Watson, Bresnahan and Diaz,
31
00:04:52,670 --> 00:04:54,964
report to your counselor
for your bunk assignments.
32
00:04:55,173 --> 00:04:57,049
Watson, Bresnahan and Diaz.
33
00:04:57,216 --> 00:04:58,259
Finally.
34
00:04:58,425 --> 00:05:00,136
Wait, you got assigned?
35
00:05:00,303 --> 00:05:01,553
This is bullshit.
36
00:05:01,679 --> 00:05:03,264
You know, I did my time in SHU.
37
00:05:03,347 --> 00:05:06,184
How much longer are they gonna keep me
in here with Darth Vader and Mr. Clean?
38
00:05:06,350 --> 00:05:08,144
Fuck you.
39
00:05:08,311 --> 00:05:09,979
Why didn't I get assigned?
40
00:05:10,855 --> 00:05:13,357
They're probably sending her
to Spanish Harlem.
41
00:05:13,482 --> 00:05:15,693
They're gonna put you in The Suburbs
with the other white people.
42
00:05:15,860 --> 00:05:17,903
So how do they choose your roommate?
43
00:05:18,029 --> 00:05:19,530
Why?
44
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You afraid you're gonna end up
with your rocka-lezzie girlfriend?
45
00:05:35,046 --> 00:05:37,965
"Goals are the fuel
in the furnace of achievement."
46
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Oh, I'm sorry.
47
00:05:43,428 --> 00:05:46,057
Bitch, don't be cutting!
There's a line here.
48
00:05:46,182 --> 00:05:48,934
Um, for the toilet? I just need to pee.
49
00:05:49,060 --> 00:05:50,393
Can I pee?
50
00:05:51,020 --> 00:05:52,355
Go pee, kid.
51
00:05:52,897 --> 00:05:54,190
This better be hot.
52
00:05:54,273 --> 00:05:57,609
If I find another clump of hair in
the drain, there's gonna be trouble.
53
00:05:59,195 --> 00:06:00,738
Oh! Gee! I'm sorry.
54
00:06:00,863 --> 00:06:02,614
It's okay, honey, you can look.
55
00:06:02,740 --> 00:06:04,742
I spent a lot of money for it.
56
00:06:06,451 --> 00:06:08,453
Go ahead, it's all yours.
57
00:06:09,163 --> 00:06:11,707
That's okay, I think I'll just wait.
58
00:06:12,124 --> 00:06:13,792
You gonna be waiting a long time, now.
59
00:06:18,964 --> 00:06:20,383
She's talking to the devil.
60
00:06:20,465 --> 00:06:22,009
Yeah, I got that part.
61
00:06:22,176 --> 00:06:24,178
That's Satan's stall.
62
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At least Satan gets a door.
63
00:06:26,013 --> 00:06:27,556
Give it a week.
64
00:06:27,639 --> 00:06:30,351
You'll be pissing and farting
with the rest of us.
65
00:06:31,394 --> 00:06:33,114
Your commissary ain't come in yet?
66
00:06:34,063 --> 00:06:35,814
Oh, I think so.
67
00:06:35,940 --> 00:06:38,859
My ID number doesn't shop until tomorrow.
68
00:06:39,110 --> 00:06:40,778
You better hope they got what you need.
69
00:06:40,903 --> 00:06:43,406
Ain't had powder foundation in dark
for three months.
70
00:06:43,488 --> 00:06:45,616
I can't be walking around here
with white face on.
71
00:06:46,617 --> 00:06:50,079
But those sad pair of shower shoes
are not gonna save you.
72
00:06:50,329 --> 00:06:51,538
You need some of these.
73
00:06:52,581 --> 00:06:53,958
I made my own.
74
00:06:54,041 --> 00:06:55,084
Couture.
75
00:06:55,167 --> 00:06:57,586
Commissary don't carry a size 13.
76
00:06:58,503 --> 00:06:59,922
Is that duct tape?
77
00:07:00,047 --> 00:07:02,133
Metallics are very in this season.
78
00:07:03,801 --> 00:07:07,221
Don't hold your big bathroom too long.
Prison food stops you right up.
79
00:07:07,305 --> 00:07:08,806
You gotta get it out while you can.
80
00:07:08,889 --> 00:07:13,602
If you wanna skip that shower line,
do the 5:00 a.m. or the 5:00 p.m.
81
00:07:13,685 --> 00:07:14,979
That's my secret.
82
00:07:15,646 --> 00:07:17,440
Why are you telling me all of this?
83
00:07:17,522 --> 00:07:19,150
'Cause I fucked up your hair.
84
00:07:19,275 --> 00:07:21,152
That shit looks broke.
85
00:07:21,277 --> 00:07:24,322
When your commissary comes in,
swing by the salon.
86
00:07:24,405 --> 00:07:26,824
I'll fix it right up for you.
87
00:07:26,991 --> 00:07:29,452
Okay. Thank you.
88
00:07:30,535 --> 00:07:33,998
There's no point in playing shy, baby.
You're home.
89
00:08:05,363 --> 00:08:07,031
Medical
staff to the iso ward...
90
00:08:07,114 --> 00:08:08,949
Now, that's a fucking waste right there.
91
00:08:09,033 --> 00:08:11,035
Black girl with a white girl booty.
92
00:08:11,869 --> 00:08:13,329
I mean, what's the point?
93
00:08:13,704 --> 00:08:16,415
Ooh, watch out for this one, man.
94
00:08:16,540 --> 00:08:18,209
She looks real good,
and then she opens her mouth.
95
00:08:18,334 --> 00:08:22,338
She's got those snaggly
fucking Gargamel teeth.
96
00:08:22,421 --> 00:08:25,049
Fucking meth heads, man.
97
00:08:29,053 --> 00:08:31,138
Now, that right there?
98
00:08:31,889 --> 00:08:34,433
That's a whole different
species, my friend.
99
00:08:34,558 --> 00:08:36,810
Hey, Burset.
100
00:08:38,603 --> 00:08:40,398
Come over here.
101
00:08:40,523 --> 00:08:42,923
Prisoner maintenance detail
for the shower room.
102
00:08:46,945 --> 00:08:49,740
Mmm. Smell that.
103
00:08:49,823 --> 00:08:51,575
That smell good to you?
104
00:08:51,700 --> 00:08:52,993
Mickey D's?
105
00:08:53,994 --> 00:08:56,455
How long's it been since
you had one of these?
106
00:08:58,165 --> 00:09:00,251
- Long time.
- Mmm-hmm.
107
00:09:00,418 --> 00:09:01,793
Do you want some?
108
00:09:02,586 --> 00:09:04,255
You offering me a taste?
109
00:09:05,297 --> 00:09:07,591
You can suck it out of my dick.
110
00:09:08,259 --> 00:09:11,303
I don't do sausage
in my breakfast sandwich.
111
00:09:14,973 --> 00:09:17,435
What the fuck are you doing
inside the CO bubble?
112
00:09:19,437 --> 00:09:24,275
Your foot's over the line, Burset. You
better get back before I give you a shot.
113
00:09:27,361 --> 00:09:29,071
Shit is wild, right?
114
00:09:29,238 --> 00:09:30,448
Freaky.
115
00:09:30,948 --> 00:09:32,950
Freaky-deaky. Freaktown.
116
00:09:34,785 --> 00:09:36,287
Cyborg pussy.
117
00:09:37,288 --> 00:09:39,623
I bet it's fucking perfect.
118
00:09:40,624 --> 00:09:42,225
Don't tell me you'd hit that?
119
00:09:42,293 --> 00:09:43,919
I live in the present, not in the past.
120
00:09:44,002 --> 00:09:46,130
Besides, she used to have a dick,
121
00:09:46,255 --> 00:09:48,299
and so she knows what it likes.
122
00:09:55,222 --> 00:09:57,682
What'd you guys do about pussy
in Iraq anyway?
123
00:09:58,476 --> 00:09:59,935
Did you fuck camels?
124
00:10:00,060 --> 00:10:01,520
I was in Afghanistan.
125
00:10:01,645 --> 00:10:03,325
And you don't go anywhere near the camels,
126
00:10:03,355 --> 00:10:05,149
'cause sometimes they strap them up
with explosives
127
00:10:05,274 --> 00:10:07,692
and run them into camp and...
128
00:10:08,319 --> 00:10:09,694
And if you try to have sex
with the girls there,
129
00:10:09,820 --> 00:10:11,447
their village throws rocks
at 'em till they die,
130
00:10:11,530 --> 00:10:13,491
so there's not a lot going on.
131
00:10:13,574 --> 00:10:15,659
Plus, they're all dressed like beekeepers.
132
00:10:15,742 --> 00:10:17,911
Occasionally, a Russian hooker
comes through,
133
00:10:17,995 --> 00:10:20,998
but those girls are nasty
and they cry a lot.
134
00:10:21,206 --> 00:10:23,501
Transporting one to I-S 12.
135
00:10:23,667 --> 00:10:25,877
All these offenders want
a piece of me, Bennett.
136
00:10:26,545 --> 00:10:28,213
You know why?
137
00:10:28,672 --> 00:10:30,549
It's the fucking pheromones, man.
138
00:10:30,674 --> 00:10:34,178
You get 'em all locked up like this
for a long time,
139
00:10:34,303 --> 00:10:38,015
and they get this prehistoric yearning
for man-stink.
140
00:10:38,932 --> 00:10:42,603
They fucking hate my guts, you know?
141
00:10:42,686 --> 00:10:45,063
But they can't help themselves.
142
00:10:46,148 --> 00:10:48,233
I'm musty and they love it.
143
00:10:49,527 --> 00:10:51,236
You don't really...
144
00:10:51,362 --> 00:10:53,364
What? Fuck 'em?
145
00:10:55,407 --> 00:10:58,035
Hell, no! That's against the rules.
146
00:10:58,202 --> 00:11:00,287
Ladies in the house programs,
147
00:11:00,371 --> 00:11:01,413
we will begin in one hour.
148
00:11:01,539 --> 00:11:03,707
But I tell you what, grasshopper.
149
00:11:04,708 --> 00:11:08,462
Some of these bitches would suck it
for half a cigarette.
150
00:11:09,296 --> 00:11:11,089
Swallow. Lift your tongue.
151
00:11:11,798 --> 00:11:13,050
Okay. Move on.
152
00:11:13,467 --> 00:11:14,552
Black!
153
00:11:14,801 --> 00:11:17,054
Take these with food. No check.
154
00:11:17,262 --> 00:11:18,805
Ooh, you got me on the yellow ones.
I like the yellow ones.
155
00:11:18,889 --> 00:11:22,059
Lost 10 pounds on the yellow ones.
But gave me that horrible rash on my...
156
00:11:22,142 --> 00:11:23,477
Not my problem.
157
00:11:23,894 --> 00:11:24,936
Burset.
158
00:11:28,106 --> 00:11:29,400
What are those? Those aren't my pills.
159
00:11:29,483 --> 00:11:32,069
They are now.
Whole prison is going generic.
160
00:11:32,194 --> 00:11:33,778
What's the dose?
161
00:11:33,945 --> 00:11:35,447
.5 milligrams.
162
00:11:35,573 --> 00:11:37,115
Then that ain't enough.
I need four of those.
163
00:11:37,241 --> 00:11:38,741
I do what the chart says.
164
00:11:39,535 --> 00:11:40,743
You can't just change my dose.
165
00:11:40,869 --> 00:11:42,580
Talk to your counselor, okay?
166
00:11:43,746 --> 00:11:44,873
Fatovich!
167
00:11:47,710 --> 00:11:50,087
You got a name, girl?
168
00:11:50,254 --> 00:11:52,923
That's your bed, those two are your hooks.
169
00:11:53,048 --> 00:11:55,467
This ain't like the projects in here,
I got rules.
170
00:11:55,593 --> 00:11:57,760
No sleeping all day 'cause it's depressing.
171
00:11:57,886 --> 00:11:59,263
Clean up after yourself.
172
00:11:59,346 --> 00:12:03,559
If I find a mess on this floor, my floor,
you're gonna hear about it.
173
00:12:03,642 --> 00:12:05,269
And keep your food sealed,
174
00:12:05,352 --> 00:12:07,605
because I don't need chipmunks
or roaches in here
175
00:12:07,688 --> 00:12:09,398
trying to get their Cup O' Noodles on,
176
00:12:09,481 --> 00:12:11,358
plus that poor excuse for food stinks
to high heaven...
177
00:12:11,442 --> 00:12:14,445
I sleep whenever I want, old lady.
178
00:12:16,614 --> 00:12:19,824
And I don't know what busted-ass country
you come from,
179
00:12:19,950 --> 00:12:21,702
but this is America,
180
00:12:21,826 --> 00:12:25,414
and if I want noodles, I'll eat noodles.
181
00:12:25,497 --> 00:12:30,168
Now, back off across your floor before
I make you that mess you hate so much.
182
00:12:34,506 --> 00:12:35,716
Time to peel that orange, Chapman.
183
00:12:35,798 --> 00:12:37,050
You're one of us now.
184
00:12:37,134 --> 00:12:39,886
One of us. One of us.
185
00:12:39,970 --> 00:12:42,347
Gooble gobble. Gooble gobble.
186
00:12:43,181 --> 00:12:47,810
Inmate Martinez, report for
an assignment at the laundry detail.
187
00:12:47,978 --> 00:12:50,063
Nine and a half, right?
188
00:12:53,233 --> 00:12:54,318
Ten.
189
00:12:56,320 --> 00:12:58,489
Did your feet swell
when you went back to boys?
190
00:12:59,323 --> 00:13:00,658
Fuck you.
191
00:13:02,701 --> 00:13:04,421
You can't just change people's meds!
192
00:13:04,495 --> 00:13:07,456
I got a line of golden girls complaining
about blood pressure pills.
193
00:13:07,539 --> 00:13:09,249
Half this prison's on antidepressants.
194
00:13:09,333 --> 00:13:11,653
You take away their Zoloft,
they're gonna go off the rails.
195
00:13:11,669 --> 00:13:14,129
Monumentally bad.
Monumental pain in my ass.
196
00:13:14,212 --> 00:13:16,507
Your ass? I'm juggling vendor changes,
staff reductions.
197
00:13:16,632 --> 00:13:18,509
Look at me, I'm paying
for my own coffee here.
198
00:13:18,634 --> 00:13:22,471
I got a tranny camped out in my hallway
yelling about her hormones!
199
00:13:22,554 --> 00:13:25,182
He can suck it up. She. Jesus.
200
00:13:25,265 --> 00:13:27,017
She could be a major headache for us.
201
00:13:27,100 --> 00:13:28,893
We are only required
to give her enough to maintain.
202
00:13:29,019 --> 00:13:30,562
It is a federal system.
203
00:13:30,688 --> 00:13:33,398
If he wanted to keep his girlish figure,
he should've stayed out of jail.
204
00:13:33,524 --> 00:13:35,942
Why would anyone ever
give up being a man?
205
00:13:36,026 --> 00:13:39,404
It's like winning the lottery
and giving the ticket back.
206
00:13:58,089 --> 00:13:59,675
Hello, baby.
207
00:14:02,093 --> 00:14:04,388
Look at you getting your sweat on.
208
00:14:04,471 --> 00:14:06,056
You look all shiny.
209
00:14:06,139 --> 00:14:08,559
I bet you don't even smell funky.
210
00:14:10,143 --> 00:14:11,936
I knew you wouldn't.
211
00:14:12,396 --> 00:14:15,399
You a real woman, Chapman.
A real grown woman.
212
00:14:15,482 --> 00:14:17,359
And not like all these
other girls around here.
213
00:14:17,442 --> 00:14:19,862
I can't waste my time
with these silly bitches.
214
00:14:19,944 --> 00:14:22,072
I need a real woman.
215
00:14:23,741 --> 00:14:24,742
I'm sure that you'll find one.
216
00:14:24,867 --> 00:14:26,535
- I wrote a poem, you wanna hear?
- You know, that's fine...
217
00:14:26,618 --> 00:14:31,415
"Before I met you
the sun was like a yellow grape
218
00:14:32,750 --> 00:14:35,878
"But now, it look like fire in the sky
219
00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:42,926
"Why? Because you light a fire inside me"
220
00:14:47,055 --> 00:14:48,432
Wow.
221
00:14:52,770 --> 00:14:54,145
I wrote it for you.
222
00:14:56,815 --> 00:14:58,776
You know, my fiancé is a writer.
223
00:15:02,195 --> 00:15:04,656
I'm gonna call you Dandelion.
224
00:15:04,782 --> 00:15:08,243
'Cause they're pretty,
and yellow, just like you.
225
00:15:09,578 --> 00:15:10,829
Everybody out! Let's go!
226
00:15:11,037 --> 00:15:12,623
Oh! Thank you.
227
00:15:15,125 --> 00:15:16,126
What's going on?
228
00:15:16,209 --> 00:15:17,210
Locking up the track.
229
00:15:17,294 --> 00:15:18,921
- Why?
- Budget cuts.
230
00:15:19,003 --> 00:15:20,631
No staff to cover it.
231
00:15:20,798 --> 00:15:22,966
But I have to run.
232
00:15:23,049 --> 00:15:25,385
This is the only thing
that makes me feel normal.
233
00:15:25,510 --> 00:15:27,971
Ya'll gonna have to do your swirl
someplace else.
234
00:15:28,931 --> 00:15:30,265
Swirl?
235
00:15:30,682 --> 00:15:33,226
Chocolate and vanilla.
236
00:15:33,769 --> 00:15:39,483
Swir-irl. Swir-irl.
237
00:15:40,191 --> 00:15:45,447
The bottom line is that the prison can
no longer provide high-end hormones.
238
00:15:45,530 --> 00:15:49,284
If I don't get my medication,
I'm going through withdrawal.
239
00:15:49,367 --> 00:15:53,789
Hot flashes, night sweats. My face will
sag, my body hair will start to grow back.
240
00:15:53,956 --> 00:15:55,165
Okay, we don't need to get into...
241
00:15:55,248 --> 00:15:57,167
Let me explain this for you.
242
00:15:57,250 --> 00:16:00,295
When my penis was split in half
and inverted,
243
00:16:00,378 --> 00:16:02,464
my testes were removed,
244
00:16:02,547 --> 00:16:04,842
so I don't have any testosterone left
245
00:16:04,925 --> 00:16:08,303
to replace the estrogen
that you taking away from me!
246
00:16:08,386 --> 00:16:11,014
Okay, okay! What do you want from me?
247
00:16:13,224 --> 00:16:14,685
I wanna see a doctor.
248
00:16:14,810 --> 00:16:16,850
You can't go to the clinic
unless it's an emergency.
249
00:16:16,937 --> 00:16:18,396
This is an emergency.
250
00:16:18,522 --> 00:16:20,190
Yeah, well, we don't see it that way.
251
00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:26,363
Was there something else?
252
00:16:27,447 --> 00:16:28,532
Yes.
253
00:16:38,834 --> 00:16:41,169
I'd like to report an emergency.
254
00:16:43,797 --> 00:16:46,508
Man, new bunkie's trying
to lay down all these rules and shit.
255
00:16:46,591 --> 00:16:50,428
"Dis go here. Dat go there.
Dis how you be wipin' your bunghole."
256
00:16:50,595 --> 00:16:52,514
Wait, you got assigned?
What dorm are you in?
257
00:16:53,849 --> 00:16:56,894
Yo, girl, be careful messing with
Miss Claudette. That woman is no joke.
258
00:16:57,185 --> 00:16:59,938
What, is she gonna put
a voodoo curse on me?
259
00:17:00,022 --> 00:17:02,691
Island bitch got control issues.
260
00:17:02,774 --> 00:17:05,402
Word is she killed someone.
That's why she doin' so much time.
261
00:17:05,485 --> 00:17:06,653
Yeah, I believe it, too.
262
00:17:06,737 --> 00:17:08,697
You look in her eyes
and know she seen some shit.
263
00:17:08,780 --> 00:17:09,781
I'm not scared of her.
264
00:17:09,907 --> 00:17:10,991
You should be.
265
00:17:11,074 --> 00:17:14,828
I hear when she was down the hill she threw a
pot of boiling water in her bunkie's face.
266
00:17:14,912 --> 00:17:18,665
Burned her eyelids off.
She be looking like Beetlejuice and shit.
267
00:17:18,749 --> 00:17:19,917
So?
268
00:17:20,083 --> 00:17:21,501
Let her come at me.
269
00:17:21,585 --> 00:17:23,211
Yo, come on, now.
270
00:17:23,378 --> 00:17:24,818
She'll see what she be messing with.
271
00:17:24,838 --> 00:17:27,424
Yo, the lady ain't taken a visitor
in 10 years
272
00:17:27,549 --> 00:17:29,217
'cause she won't do strip search.
273
00:17:29,300 --> 00:17:31,428
And she ain't dookied
274
00:17:31,595 --> 00:17:33,179
- the whole time she been locked up.
- Oh, come on.
275
00:17:33,263 --> 00:17:34,305
No, I'm serious.
276
00:17:34,431 --> 00:17:36,266
- That's crazy.
- Nah, for reals.
277
00:17:36,391 --> 00:17:40,103
No one's ever seen her use the stalls!
That's the truth. She don't poop.
278
00:17:40,186 --> 00:17:43,607
She probably got a voodoo spell
stopping up her butt.
279
00:17:43,774 --> 00:17:45,275
That's some steel right there.
280
00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:57,829
Maxi pads with wings
are back in the commissary.
281
00:18:01,374 --> 00:18:06,088
Swing shift guard detail.
P.m. cell check commences at 2130 hours.
282
00:18:15,931 --> 00:18:19,601
I had to rub Red's feet for this.
45 minutes.
283
00:18:19,726 --> 00:18:21,311
You can't sit there.
284
00:18:22,186 --> 00:18:24,106
How long are you gonna do this?
285
00:18:24,648 --> 00:18:26,733
We both live here.
We have to deal with each other.
286
00:18:26,817 --> 00:18:28,151
No, we don't.
287
00:18:28,276 --> 00:18:30,737
I plan on spending my entire sentence
avoiding you.
288
00:18:30,821 --> 00:18:31,863
Get over it.
289
00:18:31,989 --> 00:18:34,574
We did some illegal shit
and we both got caught.
290
00:18:35,158 --> 00:18:36,827
You stole my life.
291
00:18:38,787 --> 00:18:41,832
You stole my good life
that I made after you.
292
00:18:43,333 --> 00:18:45,251
Stay the fuck away from me.
293
00:18:47,754 --> 00:18:50,841
Ladies, in-house programs
will begin in one hour.
294
00:18:50,924 --> 00:18:52,801
Is there a problem here?
295
00:18:53,635 --> 00:18:55,012
No.
296
00:18:55,804 --> 00:18:58,015
You bothering my friend here?
297
00:18:59,057 --> 00:19:02,185
Dandelion, she bothering you?
298
00:19:02,352 --> 00:19:04,437
No, we were just talking.
299
00:19:04,855 --> 00:19:08,692
Yeah, she is bothering me.
300
00:19:10,110 --> 00:19:12,871
Then you need to be on your way.
'Cause she don't like talking to you.
301
00:19:12,988 --> 00:19:15,699
Not one bit.
302
00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:18,242
Are you kidding me?
303
00:19:18,368 --> 00:19:20,203
Move, bitch.
304
00:19:20,286 --> 00:19:22,046
This is my wife here,
so you need to step...
305
00:19:22,122 --> 00:19:23,665
Well, no, I'm not actually your...
306
00:19:23,748 --> 00:19:27,544
I will cut you!
I will cut you, bitch!
307
00:19:27,711 --> 00:19:29,504
Don't make me cut you!
308
00:19:29,587 --> 00:19:34,009
You know where the fuck you at, bitch?
You don't know me!
309
00:19:34,467 --> 00:19:36,219
Take it easy, take it easy.
310
00:19:40,765 --> 00:19:44,102
It's all right. We all good.
311
00:19:45,353 --> 00:19:46,604
Mmm-hmm.
312
00:19:59,076 --> 00:20:00,410
I'm not your wife.
313
00:20:01,411 --> 00:20:03,663
I threw my pie for you.
314
00:20:09,586 --> 00:20:12,797
The head should pass through your body
in three to five days.
315
00:20:12,923 --> 00:20:14,925
Unless you start vomiting
or have severe cramping,
316
00:20:15,008 --> 00:20:18,053
it's best just to let the body
eliminate this on its own.
317
00:20:18,178 --> 00:20:19,763
I'm gonna have to shit it out.
318
00:20:19,930 --> 00:20:23,641
If it made it down your esophagus,
it should travel the rest of the way.
319
00:20:23,767 --> 00:20:26,019
If it doesn't pass in a week,
we'll consider surgery.
320
00:20:26,103 --> 00:20:27,812
Pay close attention to your stool.
321
00:20:27,938 --> 00:20:29,439
I don't think I could miss it.
322
00:20:29,606 --> 00:20:32,109
I'm going to have to put you
on suicide watch.
323
00:20:32,776 --> 00:20:34,986
What? Why?
324
00:20:35,112 --> 00:20:37,447
We take swallowers very seriously.
325
00:20:37,614 --> 00:20:40,825
You really think I would've eaten
a bobble-head if I wanted to kill myself?
326
00:20:41,785 --> 00:20:43,578
Listen, Doc, I need my dosage.
327
00:20:44,287 --> 00:20:49,251
I've given five years, $80,000
and my freedom for this.
328
00:20:49,333 --> 00:20:52,712
I'm finally who I'm supposed to be.
Do you understand?
329
00:20:52,796 --> 00:20:54,505
I can't go back.
330
00:20:55,465 --> 00:20:56,633
Look,
331
00:20:57,592 --> 00:20:59,427
I'd like to help you.
332
00:21:00,303 --> 00:21:03,265
Unfortunately, you have elevated levels
of AST and ALT,
333
00:21:03,347 --> 00:21:04,849
which could mean liver damage...
334
00:21:04,975 --> 00:21:07,435
That's bullshit. That could mean anything.
335
00:21:09,479 --> 00:21:11,022
We're gonna take you
off your hormones entirely...
336
00:21:11,148 --> 00:21:12,565
- What?
- ...until we can schedule an ultrasound.
337
00:21:12,649 --> 00:21:13,942
Get a clean read.
338
00:21:14,609 --> 00:21:15,819
But that could take months.
339
00:21:15,986 --> 00:21:18,529
I can offer you an antidepressant.
340
00:21:19,823 --> 00:21:20,907
I can't take it!
341
00:21:21,658 --> 00:21:22,659
Can I open 'em?
342
00:21:24,494 --> 00:21:26,496
All righty. Open 'em.
343
00:21:29,833 --> 00:21:31,293
Oh, my God.
344
00:21:31,375 --> 00:21:33,170
- Good or bad?
- Not good.
345
00:21:33,295 --> 00:21:37,841
You look like Hannah Montana.
That skirt is...
346
00:21:38,008 --> 00:21:40,010
I thought it was so cute.
347
00:21:40,885 --> 00:21:43,013
That's what happens when I shop for myself.
348
00:21:43,930 --> 00:21:45,849
It's 'cause I never got
to be a teenage girl.
349
00:21:45,932 --> 00:21:47,517
And you never will be.
350
00:21:47,642 --> 00:21:50,436
You should be dressing like a classy
grown-up lady.
351
00:21:51,146 --> 00:21:52,522
You think I'm classy?
352
00:21:52,730 --> 00:21:56,359
I can't have my husband walking 'round
like a $2 hooker.
353
00:21:56,901 --> 00:21:58,278
Let's see.
354
00:22:00,864 --> 00:22:02,157
Ah.
355
00:22:02,657 --> 00:22:05,202
Yeah, this color looks good on you.
356
00:22:05,827 --> 00:22:07,204
Come here.
357
00:22:33,230 --> 00:22:35,439
Can't believe I'm doing this.
358
00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:37,775
You don't have to.
359
00:22:38,902 --> 00:22:40,237
Hmm.
360
00:22:40,862 --> 00:22:42,322
Okay.
361
00:22:42,780 --> 00:22:44,574
That is much better.
362
00:22:45,616 --> 00:22:50,080
I can't zip it, but you get the idea.
363
00:22:54,167 --> 00:22:57,879
Holy shit. I look hot.
364
00:23:06,179 --> 00:23:07,889
Please keep it.
365
00:23:08,765 --> 00:23:10,100
Crystal...
366
00:23:10,183 --> 00:23:13,061
I'm fine with the rest of it.
The hair and the makeup.
367
00:23:13,144 --> 00:23:15,772
I'll teach you all of it. You'll be a pro.
368
00:23:19,359 --> 00:23:21,319
Just please keep your penis.
369
00:23:23,696 --> 00:23:25,573
- You know I can't.
- For me.
370
00:23:30,828 --> 00:23:32,205
You don't have to stay.
371
00:23:36,793 --> 00:23:37,961
No?
372
00:23:38,502 --> 00:23:41,798
Where would I go? I mean,
this is my family.
373
00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:53,601
I got this for you.
You can try it on if you want.
374
00:23:53,684 --> 00:23:55,061
I'm 10 pounds up.
375
00:23:55,186 --> 00:23:58,273
Besides, your tits are better than mine.
376
00:24:00,108 --> 00:24:01,651
You're perfect.
377
00:24:01,776 --> 00:24:03,153
Come here.
378
00:24:21,129 --> 00:24:23,589
- You can't leave me alone with my mother.
- I know, I know.
379
00:24:23,673 --> 00:24:26,508
I promised your brother I'd help him fix
the roof of his trailer.
380
00:24:26,634 --> 00:24:28,219
I need a buffer!
381
00:24:28,345 --> 00:24:30,180
Why can't you just come and visit me
382
00:24:30,263 --> 00:24:32,015
every single waking moment
that you're allowed to
383
00:24:32,140 --> 00:24:34,142
and make your life all about me?
384
00:24:34,351 --> 00:24:38,229
Piper, we talked about this, okay? Visits
every other week, so I can have a life.
385
00:24:38,355 --> 00:24:40,190
You said that. These are your words.
386
00:24:40,273 --> 00:24:41,691
But I'm an idiot.
387
00:24:41,858 --> 00:24:44,319
Okay, here's the game,
388
00:24:44,402 --> 00:24:46,612
you remember every rude thing she says,
all right?
389
00:24:46,696 --> 00:24:47,738
And then next week,
390
00:24:47,864 --> 00:24:51,451
we will rank them in
order from kind of crazy
391
00:24:51,533 --> 00:24:54,037
to truly bat-shit bananas.
392
00:24:54,162 --> 00:24:56,414
It'll be fun! Come on, Piper.
393
00:24:57,207 --> 00:24:59,459
I can't cancel. He's living under a tarp.
394
00:24:59,625 --> 00:25:01,002
Jesus.
395
00:25:01,627 --> 00:25:04,339
When is he gonna get his shit together?
396
00:25:04,464 --> 00:25:07,384
I'm not sure that Cal gets
the "family fuck-up" title anymore.
397
00:25:10,761 --> 00:25:13,014
You okay, Pipes?
398
00:25:13,264 --> 00:25:15,808
In-house programs start in one hour.
399
00:25:15,933 --> 00:25:17,519
Are those groceries?
400
00:25:17,727 --> 00:25:20,230
Yes. But...
401
00:25:20,355 --> 00:25:22,065
You forgot to bring the bags.
402
00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:28,488
Uh, I did, but I'm gonna eat the bag later,
so don't worry. Planet is safe.
403
00:25:28,696 --> 00:25:31,241
Did you go to Whole Foods?
What did you get?
404
00:25:31,366 --> 00:25:32,867
A bunch of stuff.
405
00:25:33,034 --> 00:25:38,748
No, no, no. Be specific. Tell me everything.
In detail. Just take me away.
406
00:25:39,665 --> 00:25:43,253
Okay, um, I got some crispy snap peas,
407
00:25:43,378 --> 00:25:46,130
I got some cherry juice for my smoothies.
408
00:25:46,256 --> 00:25:48,174
Oh, God, smoothies.
409
00:25:49,092 --> 00:25:52,429
Then some purple kale,
Uncle Eddie's vegan cookies.
410
00:25:52,512 --> 00:25:55,181
I can feel them in my mouth.
411
00:25:57,225 --> 00:26:01,271
Then I got, um, you know,
those bulk roasted almonds.
412
00:26:01,354 --> 00:26:05,316
You know, with the sugar coating
on the top?
413
00:26:05,442 --> 00:26:06,642
Yeah, yeah, the crack almonds.
414
00:26:06,734 --> 00:26:08,194
The crack almonds.
415
00:26:09,862 --> 00:26:13,657
And, uh, well, then I got some
heirloom tomatoes.
416
00:26:14,700 --> 00:26:17,120
Last of the season, you know?
417
00:26:17,245 --> 00:26:21,958
Super plump and ripe. Engorged almost.
418
00:26:22,041 --> 00:26:26,003
With some wet, juicy buffalo mozzarella.
419
00:26:26,129 --> 00:26:29,090
And some sweet, sweet-ass
organic blueberries.
420
00:26:29,215 --> 00:26:30,800
Mmm.
421
00:26:30,925 --> 00:26:33,470
My cock is hard.
And I'm rubbing it against your ass.
422
00:26:33,553 --> 00:26:34,678
What? What?
423
00:26:34,804 --> 00:26:37,223
- What?
- Are you trying to have phone sex with me?
424
00:26:37,307 --> 00:26:41,478
I thought that's what we...
I'm confused.
425
00:26:42,061 --> 00:26:44,981
There are guards listening.
They sit in a bubble and they listen.
426
00:26:45,064 --> 00:26:46,648
I'm sure people do it all the time.
427
00:26:47,567 --> 00:26:49,569
And there's a woman weeping next to me.
428
00:26:51,154 --> 00:26:56,367
Okay. Well, I'm just gonna go jerk off then.
For the 500th time today.
429
00:26:56,784 --> 00:26:58,995
Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry.
430
00:26:59,162 --> 00:27:02,165
No, it's okay. I'm, uh...
431
00:27:02,290 --> 00:27:04,959
I'm reliving my youth. I'm 14 again.
432
00:27:05,126 --> 00:27:07,378
I know. I don't wanna...
433
00:27:07,504 --> 00:27:08,670
I love you.
434
00:27:11,299 --> 00:27:12,883
I love your little boobs.
435
00:27:13,259 --> 00:27:15,677
Oh, my God!
436
00:27:16,678 --> 00:27:17,805
No!
437
00:27:24,812 --> 00:27:27,649
You're not allowed to
put stuff on the walls.
438
00:27:27,815 --> 00:27:30,026
Everyone has stuff on their walls.
439
00:27:31,361 --> 00:27:32,529
Officer!
440
00:27:34,238 --> 00:27:35,615
What's going on?
441
00:27:35,697 --> 00:27:37,867
Tell her she gotta take
that ugly shit down.
442
00:27:42,372 --> 00:27:43,540
Your kid draw that?
443
00:27:45,208 --> 00:27:46,250
I did.
444
00:27:47,835 --> 00:27:49,671
- Sorry, I didn't mean...
- No, it's okay.
445
00:27:49,753 --> 00:27:53,090
I kind of messed it up.
My eyes are too small.
446
00:27:54,175 --> 00:27:55,677
No, it's nice.
447
00:27:56,594 --> 00:27:58,804
I mean, it's cool that
you can draw, you know?
448
00:27:58,888 --> 00:28:00,139
It's art.
449
00:28:01,391 --> 00:28:03,809
Oh, so you gonna allow that shit?
450
00:28:07,063 --> 00:28:08,856
She can leave it up.
451
00:28:12,109 --> 00:28:13,110
Fine.
452
00:28:13,236 --> 00:28:16,155
Then I'm gonna
put my pictures up of Kanye.
453
00:28:16,738 --> 00:28:21,202
- What did you do to your hair?
- I had to give it to a transsexual.
454
00:28:21,285 --> 00:28:22,828
For a weave.
455
00:28:24,038 --> 00:28:25,915
Interesting.
456
00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:29,627
Your dad sends his love.
He wanted to come, but...
457
00:28:29,751 --> 00:28:31,671
No, I get it.
He doesn't wanna see me like this.
458
00:28:31,753 --> 00:28:32,922
Here.
459
00:28:33,047 --> 00:28:35,091
They didn't frisk me at the door.
460
00:28:35,216 --> 00:28:37,677
I mean, this could totally be
a fake belly full of drugs.
461
00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:39,262
How would they ever know?
462
00:28:39,387 --> 00:28:42,848
I get strip searched on the way out.
Squat and cough.
463
00:28:43,099 --> 00:28:44,892
Oh, Piper, please.
464
00:28:44,975 --> 00:28:48,020
You didn't touch anything
in that bathroom, did you?
465
00:28:48,104 --> 00:28:50,981
Everything around here is so sticky.
466
00:28:51,107 --> 00:28:54,736
But the people are much cleaner
than I thought they'd be.
467
00:28:56,487 --> 00:28:58,155
How are you feeling, Pol?
468
00:28:58,906 --> 00:29:01,284
Large. Hostile. Nothing new.
469
00:29:01,409 --> 00:29:05,037
I am so excited for you. For all of us.
470
00:29:05,121 --> 00:29:07,415
It is so smart to do this now.
471
00:29:07,498 --> 00:29:11,210
I told Piper, it's much harder to conceive
when you're in your late 30s.
472
00:29:11,919 --> 00:29:12,962
Thanks, Mom.
473
00:29:13,087 --> 00:29:14,505
Oh, but it's true.
474
00:29:14,631 --> 00:29:17,174
You just don't have a lot of time to waste.
475
00:29:17,300 --> 00:29:21,679
That's exactly what I need right now.
A reminder of my ebbing fertility.
476
00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:27,560
I'll go get some snacks.
477
00:29:31,648 --> 00:29:35,067
The whole way up she hummed
Édith Piaf songs and ate pistachios.
478
00:29:35,818 --> 00:29:39,113
You owe me. I wanted alone time with you.
479
00:29:39,781 --> 00:29:40,990
I have a wife!
480
00:29:41,157 --> 00:29:43,159
- What?
- A prison wife.
481
00:29:43,242 --> 00:29:45,662
Her name is Crazy Eyes
and she follows me everywhere.
482
00:29:45,828 --> 00:29:47,288
That really happens?
483
00:29:47,830 --> 00:29:49,123
Jeez.
484
00:29:49,206 --> 00:29:52,835
Are her eyes, like, bulgy or crossed,
or is one lid kind of droopy?
485
00:29:53,002 --> 00:29:54,337
- What kind of crazy?
- They're just crazy.
486
00:29:54,420 --> 00:29:56,798
They're just full of crazy.
It's terrifying.
487
00:29:56,880 --> 00:29:59,425
I'm afraid to tell Larry
because I don't want him to worry.
488
00:29:59,509 --> 00:30:02,303
But she's extremely persistent.
489
00:30:02,386 --> 00:30:04,472
She follows me everywhere.
490
00:30:04,847 --> 00:30:06,349
She threw pie for me.
491
00:30:06,516 --> 00:30:08,017
Did she rape you?
492
00:30:08,142 --> 00:30:10,853
- No, she didn't rape me.
- Oh.
493
00:30:10,936 --> 00:30:12,938
But she held my hand.
494
00:30:13,314 --> 00:30:15,107
Aw! That's kind of sweet.
495
00:30:15,191 --> 00:30:18,319
I wish Pete would hold my hand.
But he says it makes his palms sweat.
496
00:30:18,402 --> 00:30:20,162
And he won't stop laughing
in birthing class.
497
00:30:20,196 --> 00:30:21,823
He's like a seventh grader.
498
00:30:21,947 --> 00:30:24,200
I just told you that I have a wife.
499
00:30:24,325 --> 00:30:25,565
I heard you. That really sucks.
500
00:30:25,660 --> 00:30:28,287
But you were supposed
to be my wife, Piper, remember?
501
00:30:28,371 --> 00:30:31,541
I'm kind of freaking out that
you're not gonna be there.
502
00:30:32,375 --> 00:30:33,710
I know.
503
00:30:33,835 --> 00:30:35,503
I'm sorry.
504
00:30:36,170 --> 00:30:39,799
We just got this crib pad that sets
off an alarm if the baby stops breathing.
505
00:30:39,882 --> 00:30:41,425
Which could totally happen.
506
00:30:41,551 --> 00:30:42,719
I mean, that's a thing.
507
00:30:42,802 --> 00:30:45,012
And there's a skinny bitch
in my pre-natal yoga,
508
00:30:45,137 --> 00:30:46,889
she's a stick who swallowed a grapefruit.
509
00:30:46,972 --> 00:30:49,308
The other day she asked me
if I was having twins.
510
00:30:49,392 --> 00:30:51,394
Ugh, thank God. I'm starving.
511
00:30:51,477 --> 00:30:52,645
Skittles.
512
00:30:52,729 --> 00:30:57,107
Did you know that inmates are not allowed
to touch money in this place?
513
00:30:57,233 --> 00:30:59,985
The guard just told me. Fascinating.
514
00:31:01,654 --> 00:31:04,198
So what about the Barney's order?
Did you find a warehouse?
515
00:31:04,281 --> 00:31:06,909
Oh, I got a couple of sketchy bids.
I haven't had time to go look.
516
00:31:07,034 --> 00:31:08,452
Well, that's why we hired Mariana.
517
00:31:08,578 --> 00:31:10,246
I fired her.
518
00:31:10,329 --> 00:31:11,914
She doesn't know how
to make a Word document.
519
00:31:12,039 --> 00:31:13,499
And she doesn't shave her pits.
520
00:31:13,583 --> 00:31:15,752
Wait, but why didn't you ask me first?
521
00:31:15,835 --> 00:31:17,044
That's not fair.
522
00:31:18,588 --> 00:31:21,591
Oh, honey, it's not as if we can pick up
a phone and call you.
523
00:31:21,674 --> 00:31:23,426
I know it's hard,
524
00:31:23,509 --> 00:31:26,888
but the rest of us have
to keep living our lives.
525
00:31:36,606 --> 00:31:37,857
How you doing, Red?
526
00:31:37,940 --> 00:31:39,442
I'm missing half my zucchini.
527
00:31:39,525 --> 00:31:42,528
These girls don't realize I'm here
to provide food, not dildos.
528
00:31:43,362 --> 00:31:46,908
I'm all out of cucumbers, carrots, beets.
529
00:31:46,990 --> 00:31:49,452
God knows what they're doing with those.
530
00:31:49,577 --> 00:31:52,079
Can't hang on to anything cock-shaped.
531
00:31:55,708 --> 00:31:57,627
Sorry. Too soon?
532
00:31:58,252 --> 00:31:59,336
A little.
533
00:31:59,462 --> 00:32:01,631
You, I don't understand you.
534
00:32:02,423 --> 00:32:04,091
I got three sons, and let me tell you,
535
00:32:04,174 --> 00:32:06,218
if they tried to do what you did,
536
00:32:06,302 --> 00:32:10,431
I'd chop off their hands before
I'd let them get rid of their baby makers.
537
00:32:11,265 --> 00:32:13,476
I already made my baby.
538
00:32:13,601 --> 00:32:16,604
Listen, I need you to get something in.
539
00:32:17,187 --> 00:32:19,982
Talk to Gina. She takes my orders,
you know how this goes.
540
00:32:20,149 --> 00:32:23,486
It's something that's hard to get.
Estrogen pills or patches.
541
00:32:23,611 --> 00:32:25,655
- I don't do drugs.
- It's medication.
542
00:32:25,822 --> 00:32:29,241
I got rules. No drugs.
Nothing like that comes through my kitchen.
543
00:32:29,325 --> 00:32:33,704
Besides, even if I wanted to help you,
I don't have connections like that.
544
00:32:35,790 --> 00:32:38,417
Here, have a yam.
545
00:32:38,501 --> 00:32:40,920
My mamochka ate those
during her menopause.
546
00:32:41,003 --> 00:32:44,507
And I'll get you some soy,
but that's the best I can do.
547
00:32:46,509 --> 00:32:48,469
What if I have my own connections?
548
00:32:48,594 --> 00:32:52,348
Do you not hear me, huh?
It's not gonna happen.
549
00:32:53,474 --> 00:32:56,686
Listen, sweetheart, there's other channels.
550
00:32:59,897 --> 00:33:03,651
But I really don't think you wanna
go down that road.
551
00:33:05,695 --> 00:33:08,238
You wanna go down that road?
I say Jordans.
552
00:33:08,364 --> 00:33:10,700
- Those are cool.
- Those are gay.
553
00:33:10,867 --> 00:33:11,868
I like the Lebrons.
554
00:33:11,993 --> 00:33:13,619
You want the highs or the lows?
555
00:33:13,744 --> 00:33:14,745
Both.
556
00:33:14,871 --> 00:33:15,913
No. Pick one, baby.
557
00:33:16,038 --> 00:33:19,166
If it were up to me, my
man, I'd say the lows.
558
00:33:19,249 --> 00:33:20,501
Those Dunkmans are tight.
559
00:33:20,584 --> 00:33:22,378
They're the hottest pair of kicks
to drop this year.
560
00:33:22,461 --> 00:33:23,546
How much?
561
00:33:23,671 --> 00:33:25,047
$300.
562
00:33:26,215 --> 00:33:27,717
We'll take 'em, right?
563
00:33:37,267 --> 00:33:40,563
Stand up. Check 'em out.
You're gonna love those shoes.
564
00:33:40,688 --> 00:33:42,023
Excuse me, do you have...
565
00:33:42,147 --> 00:33:43,900
Hey, Michael, what are you doing here?
566
00:33:46,652 --> 00:33:48,153
Oh, shit!
567
00:33:48,362 --> 00:33:49,405
Hi, Pat.
568
00:33:49,655 --> 00:33:51,156
Shit... Uh...
569
00:33:51,991 --> 00:33:53,242
Yeah.
570
00:33:53,409 --> 00:33:54,827
I, uh...
571
00:33:54,911 --> 00:33:56,746
Deborah's doing some shopping,
so I just thought I'd...
572
00:33:56,871 --> 00:33:59,749
Did you get my letter?
I was hoping to hear from you.
573
00:33:59,832 --> 00:34:01,876
Yeah, I was, uh...
574
00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:05,588
I'm sorry. I gotta go.
575
00:34:07,464 --> 00:34:09,258
Take care, Michael.
576
00:34:11,260 --> 00:34:12,636
Nice kicks.
577
00:34:15,765 --> 00:34:17,892
Sometimes it's hard for people.
578
00:34:17,975 --> 00:34:19,268
Michael.
579
00:34:19,936 --> 00:34:21,478
Michael! No!
580
00:34:21,645 --> 00:34:24,398
Sir. Ma'am. You need to pay for those.
581
00:34:27,317 --> 00:34:28,597
Attention, inmates,
582
00:34:28,611 --> 00:34:32,448
the pharmacy window
will be closing at 1530 hours.
583
00:34:34,283 --> 00:34:36,786
Hey. You wanted to see me?
584
00:34:36,869 --> 00:34:37,954
Yes, Chapman.
585
00:34:38,037 --> 00:34:40,706
Bravo dorms, assemble for visitation hall.
586
00:34:40,790 --> 00:34:44,126
We do not choose roommates around here.
587
00:34:44,251 --> 00:34:48,213
This type of hanky-panky
is against prison regulations.
588
00:34:48,297 --> 00:34:50,633
I warned you about this
when you first came in.
589
00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:53,677
I... I don't know what
you're talking about.
590
00:34:56,806 --> 00:35:01,644
Warren just informed me that you'd like
to be bunked together.
591
00:35:02,645 --> 00:35:04,063
Warren? Who is that?
592
00:35:07,441 --> 00:35:08,484
Crazy Eyes?
593
00:35:08,609 --> 00:35:11,862
This is not gonna fly around here.
Not on my watch.
594
00:35:12,404 --> 00:35:14,991
Lesbian request denied.
595
00:35:15,574 --> 00:35:17,660
Okay, wait! I had nothing to do with that!
596
00:35:17,785 --> 00:35:20,370
Believe me, the last thing I want
is to be anywhere near her.
597
00:35:20,496 --> 00:35:22,331
I've been trying to shake her for days.
598
00:35:22,498 --> 00:35:24,000
This didn't come from you?
599
00:35:24,166 --> 00:35:26,335
No! Absolutely not.
600
00:35:26,418 --> 00:35:29,046
Please don't put me with her. Please.
601
00:35:29,171 --> 00:35:32,883
I would like to stay
as far away from that as possible.
602
00:35:33,092 --> 00:35:35,469
I was hoping that that was the case.
603
00:35:37,013 --> 00:35:39,222
She is completely nuts.
604
00:35:39,348 --> 00:35:42,518
No, I know. I've had
trouble with her before.
605
00:35:42,643 --> 00:35:45,604
She's what we call a "stud,"
606
00:35:45,688 --> 00:35:48,190
which is very confusing
for a nice girl like you,
607
00:35:48,357 --> 00:35:51,527
because, let's be honest,
she looks like a man.
608
00:35:52,361 --> 00:35:55,031
If it were up to me,
I'd take all the butch ones
609
00:35:55,114 --> 00:35:56,949
and I'd put them in a "little boy's wing,"
610
00:35:57,033 --> 00:35:59,702
and I'd separate them from
the general community.
611
00:36:00,077 --> 00:36:04,373
Ran that up the ladder a couple of times,
got no traction at all.
612
00:36:06,042 --> 00:36:07,334
My advice?
613
00:36:09,378 --> 00:36:11,421
Let her down easy.
614
00:36:12,214 --> 00:36:16,593
She's volatile, that one.
She was removed from the puppy program.
615
00:36:19,096 --> 00:36:23,100
Lesbians can be very dangerous.
616
00:36:24,309 --> 00:36:26,311
It's the testosterone.
617
00:36:28,230 --> 00:36:32,151
They took my moisturizer, guys.
I had to walk through the airport barefoot.
618
00:36:32,442 --> 00:36:35,821
I mean, if Bush fucking wins again,
we're all moving to Berlin!
619
00:36:40,534 --> 00:36:43,620
Hey, you, Laura Ingalls Wilder.
620
00:36:44,705 --> 00:36:47,583
We're escaping America before
the apocalypse. Wanna come?
621
00:36:48,125 --> 00:36:49,418
Sorry?
622
00:36:49,585 --> 00:36:51,087
What can I get for you?
623
00:36:51,461 --> 00:36:53,214
Oh, hi, I was wondering if you're hiring?
624
00:36:54,423 --> 00:36:55,674
No, I'm sorry.
625
00:36:55,758 --> 00:36:57,093
Well, can I leave this with you?
626
00:36:57,218 --> 00:37:00,804
Honestly, it's just gonna end up
in a drawer somewhere, so...
627
00:37:01,889 --> 00:37:03,140
Okay.
628
00:37:03,515 --> 00:37:04,600
Well,
629
00:37:08,938 --> 00:37:10,439
can I have a margarita then?
630
00:37:11,190 --> 00:37:12,357
That I can do for you.
631
00:37:20,407 --> 00:37:23,285
It's a little cold out for a margarita,
don't you think?
632
00:37:25,788 --> 00:37:27,664
Let's see this.
633
00:37:28,665 --> 00:37:32,169
Steve's Greek Cuisine? Le Grand Fromage?
634
00:37:32,294 --> 00:37:33,754
Bullshit, bullshit.
635
00:37:33,837 --> 00:37:35,631
You need a lesson in fudging a resume.
636
00:37:35,714 --> 00:37:36,799
Do you work here?
637
00:37:36,924 --> 00:37:38,467
Are you fucking kidding me?
638
00:37:40,052 --> 00:37:41,929
Manager, Polly Harper.
639
00:37:43,222 --> 00:37:44,765
No one named Polly Harper
gets put in charge.
640
00:37:44,848 --> 00:37:45,891
Who is that really?
641
00:37:45,975 --> 00:37:47,643
It's my friend.
642
00:37:49,478 --> 00:37:51,981
You've never waited a fucking table
in your life, have you?
643
00:37:54,108 --> 00:37:55,317
No.
644
00:37:57,486 --> 00:37:59,822
So, Piper Chapman,
645
00:38:01,157 --> 00:38:06,162
"A Smith grad with excellent listening skills,
passionate about making diners feel good."
646
00:38:06,287 --> 00:38:08,330
Mmm. That sounds kind of dirty.
647
00:38:08,413 --> 00:38:10,166
You can put that on my tab.
648
00:38:10,499 --> 00:38:13,252
"Safe, clean, and careful
when handling food and drink."
649
00:38:14,544 --> 00:38:16,046
Oh, gosh.
650
00:38:16,172 --> 00:38:18,048
I like that in a woman.
651
00:38:20,383 --> 00:38:21,903
What else do I need to know about you?
652
00:38:23,846 --> 00:38:25,347
Who are you?
653
00:38:26,431 --> 00:38:28,017
My name is Alex.
654
00:38:30,311 --> 00:38:32,313
And what do you do, Alex?
655
00:38:33,355 --> 00:38:36,066
Besides make fun of strangers in bars?
656
00:38:36,192 --> 00:38:38,986
I work for an international drug cartel.
657
00:38:42,865 --> 00:38:45,492
Oh, come on. You telling me
you don't get lonely out here
658
00:38:46,035 --> 00:38:47,995
in the middle of nowhere?
659
00:38:48,078 --> 00:38:51,832
No, I'm not into people.
I'm more into beans.
660
00:38:51,915 --> 00:38:55,544
Did you see my long beans?
They're going off.
661
00:38:55,627 --> 00:38:57,462
And my banjo.
662
00:38:57,546 --> 00:39:01,008
Those are my friends,
my beans and my banjo.
663
00:39:01,217 --> 00:39:03,677
And I'm banging this underwater welder.
664
00:39:03,927 --> 00:39:05,095
Wow.
665
00:39:05,221 --> 00:39:06,889
You gotta have hobbies.
666
00:39:07,806 --> 00:39:08,849
What about you?
667
00:39:08,932 --> 00:39:11,393
What's happening with the writing?
No gigs?
668
00:39:11,476 --> 00:39:15,772
Been a little distracted.
Maybe you heard, my fiancée's in prison.
669
00:39:16,273 --> 00:39:19,484
Hey, when you visit,
do you get to, uh...
670
00:39:22,404 --> 00:39:24,698
No, they don't allow conjugals in federal.
671
00:39:25,241 --> 00:39:28,118
- It's a lot of me, myself and I.
- Bummer.
672
00:39:28,410 --> 00:39:29,411
Oh.
673
00:39:29,745 --> 00:39:31,080
You gotta try edging, man.
674
00:39:31,247 --> 00:39:32,455
What is that?
675
00:39:32,706 --> 00:39:36,585
It's where you jerk off, okay?
676
00:39:36,710 --> 00:39:39,046
Right to the point of orgasm
677
00:39:40,881 --> 00:39:42,216
and then stop.
678
00:39:43,342 --> 00:39:44,634
And you do this because...
679
00:39:44,760 --> 00:39:48,264
Because your jizz is your power, man.
It's spiritual, it keeps your Chi inside.
680
00:39:48,347 --> 00:39:50,266
Especially if you got writer's block.
681
00:39:50,391 --> 00:39:55,104
You gotta walk right up to that line, bro,
and not cross it.
682
00:39:55,437 --> 00:39:56,688
And this is something you do?
683
00:39:56,813 --> 00:39:57,773
Yeah. Welder chick taught me.
684
00:39:57,898 --> 00:40:02,361
See, you gotta, um... You gotta grab
right underneath your balls,
685
00:40:02,444 --> 00:40:04,654
like, right here, you really gotta
get up right up in there.
686
00:40:04,780 --> 00:40:05,822
Okay, yeah.
687
00:40:05,948 --> 00:40:07,657
And it creates, like, a whole body thing.
688
00:40:07,783 --> 00:40:09,410
Kind of like a female orgasm.
689
00:40:09,492 --> 00:40:11,328
You know, most dudes,
they don't know what women got,
690
00:40:11,453 --> 00:40:12,495
but trust me, bro,
691
00:40:12,746 --> 00:40:15,958
it is way, way better.
692
00:40:16,959 --> 00:40:18,668
A lot of creative people do it.
693
00:40:19,669 --> 00:40:22,798
In fact, they say
that John Lennon wrote Imagine
694
00:40:22,923 --> 00:40:24,633
right at that sweet spot.
695
00:40:32,141 --> 00:40:33,683
Fifteen months.
696
00:40:34,643 --> 00:40:38,230
Whoa. It's a long time to wait.
Even if it is for my sister.
697
00:40:38,314 --> 00:40:40,649
How about we don't talk about
sex with your sister?
698
00:40:40,774 --> 00:40:42,151
Good point.
699
00:40:45,487 --> 00:40:46,655
Did you see this coming?
700
00:40:46,780 --> 00:40:48,949
With Piper?
701
00:40:49,032 --> 00:40:53,329
No, no, not jail, but something, yeah.
702
00:40:55,789 --> 00:40:59,209
She wants to feel like she's different.
703
00:40:59,918 --> 00:41:02,712
Likes the whole "I'm risky" thing.
704
00:41:04,256 --> 00:41:06,133
My sister's a complicated cat.
705
00:41:07,843 --> 00:41:09,428
So I'm learning.
706
00:41:10,846 --> 00:41:13,015
Not like my parents ever saw it.
707
00:41:13,140 --> 00:41:15,558
Between "Perfect Piper"
and "Doctor Danny,"
708
00:41:15,684 --> 00:41:18,187
they met their quality parenting quota.
709
00:41:18,270 --> 00:41:22,149
But, like, I was free to smoke a bowl
and fuck off for the rest of my life
710
00:41:22,232 --> 00:41:24,360
with nobody ever bothering me.
711
00:41:24,443 --> 00:41:28,030
Now, my mom's talking about
coming up here to visit,
712
00:41:28,155 --> 00:41:30,073
putting me in the Christmas letter.
713
00:41:30,199 --> 00:41:32,701
Suddenly I'm "Creative Cal."
714
00:41:33,410 --> 00:41:34,786
It's fucked up.
715
00:41:38,957 --> 00:41:42,836
Piper going to jail might be, like, the
worst thing that has ever happened to me.
716
00:41:52,388 --> 00:41:54,515
Oh. Sophia!
717
00:41:54,597 --> 00:41:56,558
I got you a present.
718
00:41:56,683 --> 00:41:58,977
It's powder foundation in medium dark.
719
00:41:59,102 --> 00:42:01,063
I had to guess. I hope it's all right.
720
00:42:01,188 --> 00:42:04,316
Honey, it's perfect.
That's real sweet of you.
721
00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:05,734
Thank you.
722
00:42:05,901 --> 00:42:07,444
You're welcome.
723
00:42:11,907 --> 00:42:13,616
I got commissary.
724
00:42:13,742 --> 00:42:15,285
Look whose ship finally came in!
725
00:42:15,911 --> 00:42:17,079
Here.
726
00:42:17,204 --> 00:42:19,415
This is payback for all
the stuff you gave me.
727
00:42:20,499 --> 00:42:24,753
And, Nicky, here's your cup.
728
00:42:24,836 --> 00:42:25,921
Hmm.
729
00:42:26,338 --> 00:42:29,591
And, um, Nivea. That's interest.
730
00:42:29,716 --> 00:42:31,760
What else you got, kid?
I'll take that face wash.
731
00:42:31,885 --> 00:42:33,929
Don't be a commissary ho, DeMarco.
732
00:42:34,012 --> 00:42:37,433
And these... It's like Christmas!
733
00:42:38,767 --> 00:42:40,894
Yo, P, heads up. You got a visitor.
734
00:42:42,687 --> 00:42:44,273
Hello, baby.
735
00:42:46,024 --> 00:42:47,317
Can I talk to you?
736
00:42:48,444 --> 00:42:50,487
Inmate Peterson,
please return to the prison chapel.
737
00:42:55,117 --> 00:42:57,619
Listen, Suzanne.
738
00:42:58,620 --> 00:42:59,871
I, um...
739
00:43:00,663 --> 00:43:02,165
I know that you like me...
740
00:43:02,291 --> 00:43:04,751
I don't just like you, Piper.
741
00:43:04,834 --> 00:43:06,420
I got feelings.
742
00:43:07,379 --> 00:43:10,048
Love feelings.
743
00:43:10,757 --> 00:43:12,634
Yeah, I got that. Um...
744
00:43:14,511 --> 00:43:16,805
You know, maybe I was unclear,
745
00:43:16,930 --> 00:43:20,434
and I'm sorry if I gave you
the wrong impression,
746
00:43:23,228 --> 00:43:28,108
but I cannot be your wife.
747
00:43:28,191 --> 00:43:31,653
I've already promised
to be someone else's wife. Larry.
748
00:43:31,736 --> 00:43:34,156
Whom I love very much.
749
00:43:34,239 --> 00:43:37,284
And I'm just not interested
in anybody else.
750
00:43:37,367 --> 00:43:39,911
This is nothing personal.
751
00:43:39,995 --> 00:43:42,164
But you and I?
752
00:43:43,832 --> 00:43:45,334
Not gonna happen.
753
00:43:49,505 --> 00:43:50,839
I feel you.
754
00:43:58,305 --> 00:44:00,015
Where is he?
755
00:44:00,098 --> 00:44:02,518
He won't come. I tried.
756
00:44:03,352 --> 00:44:05,687
They let him pitch Friday.
757
00:44:05,812 --> 00:44:08,815
This big game against Castle Hill.
They won.
758
00:44:08,982 --> 00:44:10,817
That's great.
759
00:44:12,735 --> 00:44:14,279
You look like shit. What's wrong?
760
00:44:16,365 --> 00:44:17,866
They took me off my hormones.
761
00:44:17,949 --> 00:44:19,368
What, why?
762
00:44:19,493 --> 00:44:20,814
They're saying it's liver damage.
763
00:44:20,869 --> 00:44:23,622
It's bullshit. They just
don't wanna be liable.
764
00:44:23,746 --> 00:44:25,957
Oh, I'm sorry, baby.
765
00:44:26,166 --> 00:44:27,334
I'm losing my shit, Crystal.
766
00:44:27,417 --> 00:44:32,130
I didn't wanna have to ask you,
but I don't know what else to do.
767
00:44:36,635 --> 00:44:38,720
I need you to sneak 'em in.
768
00:44:42,891 --> 00:44:44,226
How?
769
00:44:45,852 --> 00:44:47,187
I don't know.
770
00:44:47,312 --> 00:44:49,064
You want me to shove 'em up my ass?
771
00:44:49,147 --> 00:44:50,899
Take 'em out in the bathroom? Then what?
772
00:44:50,982 --> 00:44:55,070
Put 'em in my mouth so I can kiss you?
Have you lost your fucking mind?
773
00:44:55,237 --> 00:44:56,821
It's crazy, I know.
774
00:44:56,946 --> 00:44:58,907
You want me to get locked up, too?
Oh, that's perfect.
775
00:44:58,990 --> 00:45:03,662
Yeah, Michael can go live with my mother,
who won't speak to me anymore at all.
776
00:45:03,744 --> 00:45:05,414
But you?
777
00:45:05,497 --> 00:45:09,876
Well, you'll have your smooth skin and your
lady curves, so it'll all be worth it.
778
00:45:10,085 --> 00:45:12,879
I shouldn't have asked. I'm sorry.
779
00:45:14,130 --> 00:45:18,343
I'm working two jobs,
I'm trying to raise our son.
780
00:45:18,427 --> 00:45:20,028
You know they trying to seize the house?
781
00:45:20,095 --> 00:45:21,888
They can't do that.
782
00:45:21,971 --> 00:45:25,434
I never paid any of our bills
with those stolen credit cards.
783
00:45:25,559 --> 00:45:28,103
I can't even show my face
in church anymore.
784
00:45:28,186 --> 00:45:29,605
I'm sorry.
785
00:45:29,770 --> 00:45:33,108
How fucking selfish can you be?
786
00:45:33,275 --> 00:45:36,027
Crystal, if they take this away from me,
787
00:45:36,986 --> 00:45:39,155
this will all have been for nothing.
788
00:45:45,537 --> 00:45:47,830
I married a man named Marcus.
789
00:45:50,208 --> 00:45:52,669
I cry for him all the time.
790
00:45:54,630 --> 00:45:57,633
But I stayed and I supported you
791
00:45:57,758 --> 00:46:00,427
because I could see
how much pain you were in.
792
00:46:01,802 --> 00:46:03,555
I know it was saving your life.
793
00:46:03,680 --> 00:46:05,098
It was.
794
00:46:05,223 --> 00:46:08,644
I figured better my kid had two moms
than a dead dad, right?
795
00:46:08,769 --> 00:46:14,107
At least he'd be around,
which is more than my father was.
796
00:46:16,025 --> 00:46:20,155
At least he'd be at his baseball games,
even if it was in a dress.
797
00:46:23,283 --> 00:46:24,825
So I put up with you becoming a woman,
798
00:46:24,951 --> 00:46:27,704
but I never signed on
for a life with a criminal.
799
00:46:29,623 --> 00:46:35,878
I'm gonna get my shit together. I promise.
I'm gonna make it up to you.
800
00:46:36,004 --> 00:46:37,464
Oh, you wanna make it up to me?
801
00:46:37,547 --> 00:46:39,716
Do your time.
802
00:46:40,717 --> 00:46:44,429
Get the fuck out of here,
so you can be a father to your son.
803
00:46:47,516 --> 00:46:49,017
Man up.
804
00:46:55,982 --> 00:46:57,192
What the fuck is this?
805
00:46:57,275 --> 00:46:59,194
We're reassigning you. Get your things.
806
00:46:59,319 --> 00:47:02,030
You fucking kidding me?
807
00:47:03,156 --> 00:47:04,407
You had me moved?
808
00:47:07,076 --> 00:47:08,537
Who's running this place?
809
00:47:08,620 --> 00:47:09,788
Not you.
810
00:47:09,870 --> 00:47:11,914
Shut your mouth and get your things.
811
00:47:13,500 --> 00:47:15,377
Watch yourself, little girl.
812
00:47:15,502 --> 00:47:17,462
This is not America,
813
00:47:18,714 --> 00:47:20,465
this is The Litch,
814
00:47:20,549 --> 00:47:23,051
and I've been here a long while.
815
00:48:00,296 --> 00:48:04,760
Inmate Stuart,
report to inmate work station two.
816
00:48:04,843 --> 00:48:06,762
Officer Roberts, guard
detail, central library.
817
00:48:07,928 --> 00:48:12,434
I'm in here at 5:00 just about every day.
You don't like it, avoid it.
818
00:48:16,855 --> 00:48:18,314
You named me.
819
00:48:18,440 --> 00:48:21,234
- What?
- You didn't have to take me down with you.
820
00:48:21,317 --> 00:48:22,611
Is that what all this is about?
821
00:48:22,736 --> 00:48:24,780
You think I turned you in?
822
00:48:24,905 --> 00:48:27,365
You haven't seen me in five years,
823
00:48:27,449 --> 00:48:30,285
you had no idea what was going on with me.
824
00:48:30,368 --> 00:48:32,412
I am a different person.
I was building a life...
825
00:48:32,495 --> 00:48:35,749
Oh, well, hurray for you.
It wasn't me, Piper.
826
00:48:35,832 --> 00:48:36,999
Bullshit!
827
00:48:37,125 --> 00:48:38,668
You never ever forgave me for leaving.
828
00:48:38,794 --> 00:48:39,994
Thirteen people were indicted.
829
00:48:40,002 --> 00:48:42,046
You met all of them. We traveled together.
830
00:48:42,130 --> 00:48:43,172
I know it was you.
831
00:48:43,298 --> 00:48:44,466
No, it wasn't!
832
00:48:44,549 --> 00:48:46,593
And fuck you for thinking it was!
833
00:48:46,676 --> 00:48:47,876
Right, what did they give you?
834
00:48:47,968 --> 00:48:50,488
Time off for every innocent person
that you threw under the bus?
835
00:48:50,597 --> 00:48:53,475
Innocent? That is fucking hilarious!
836
00:48:54,350 --> 00:48:56,977
You carried that bag.
No one had a gun to your head.
837
00:48:57,061 --> 00:49:01,232
Your fiancé might buy this bullshit,
but I know you.
838
00:49:02,651 --> 00:49:04,527
I know you.
839
00:49:05,779 --> 00:49:08,531
And there were no complaints
when I took you all over the world,
840
00:49:08,657 --> 00:49:10,450
but the second shit got real...
841
00:49:10,533 --> 00:49:11,660
You put me in danger.
842
00:49:11,743 --> 00:49:13,662
You loved it.
843
00:49:16,164 --> 00:49:19,793
You were just this boring
little girl from Connecticut,
844
00:49:19,876 --> 00:49:22,002
who wanted to feel special and bad.
845
00:49:22,128 --> 00:49:25,465
- Don't turn this around on me.
- I didn't name you.
846
00:49:25,548 --> 00:49:29,511
And, yeah, maybe I never forgave you
for leaving,
847
00:49:29,636 --> 00:49:32,848
because you broke my fucking heart.
848
00:49:32,973 --> 00:49:35,976
And maybe I've done a lot
of fucked up things in my life,
849
00:49:36,058 --> 00:49:38,186
but I've never lied to you.
850
00:49:39,562 --> 00:49:40,689
Ever.
851
00:49:53,201 --> 00:49:54,410
I'm stuck.
852
00:49:54,536 --> 00:49:58,623
I think my necklace is caught on my shirt
or in my hair or maybe both.
853
00:50:00,834 --> 00:50:02,084
So you want me to...
854
00:50:02,210 --> 00:50:04,044
Yeah. Yeah.
855
00:50:05,296 --> 00:50:06,715
Oh, man.
856
00:50:06,840 --> 00:50:08,925
Don't look at my belly.
857
00:50:09,217 --> 00:50:10,552
There.
858
00:50:12,178 --> 00:50:13,596
You're free.
859
00:50:14,263 --> 00:50:15,682
Yeah, right.
860
00:50:28,528 --> 00:50:30,446
- Hello?
- Hey, baby, it's me.
861
00:50:30,655 --> 00:50:34,158
Hey! How was the visit with your mom?
862
00:50:34,367 --> 00:50:36,661
Listen, Larry, I need you
to do something for me,
863
00:50:36,745 --> 00:50:37,746
and I don't wanna talk about it.
864
00:50:37,829 --> 00:50:40,874
I need you to find out if Alex Vause
named me at her trial.
865
00:50:41,081 --> 00:50:45,127
But wait, my dad said
the testimony was sealed.
866
00:50:45,253 --> 00:50:46,713
Why the sudden interest?
867
00:50:46,796 --> 00:50:50,967
I don't know. It's just eating at me.
I got a lot of time on my hands.
868
00:50:51,091 --> 00:50:54,512
Please, Larry. There's got to be a way.
Will you talk to him?
869
00:50:54,596 --> 00:50:58,391
Her name is Alex Vause. V-A-U-S-E.
870
00:50:59,267 --> 00:51:01,101
This is really important to me.
871
00:51:01,185 --> 00:51:02,812
Yeah, okay. But, um...
872
00:51:02,979 --> 00:51:04,313
And I don't wanna talk about it.
873
00:51:07,067 --> 00:51:09,694
And my mother told me that
my eggs are getting old.
874
00:51:14,114 --> 00:51:17,035
Chapman! Get your things together.
You're moving down to B dorm.
875
00:51:17,117 --> 00:51:18,828
Cube 18!
876
00:51:18,954 --> 00:51:20,288
That's the ghetto.
877
00:51:21,247 --> 00:51:22,373
What?
878
00:51:23,583 --> 00:51:25,085
They got you in the ghetto.
879
00:51:25,167 --> 00:51:27,963
Good luck, Chapman. You're gonna need it.
880
00:52:14,634 --> 00:52:17,595
That's your bed. These are your hooks.
881
00:52:18,513 --> 00:52:22,851
I am nobody's cleaning lady
and I make honor cube every week,
882
00:52:22,934 --> 00:52:25,185
so you do your part and then some.
883
00:52:25,311 --> 00:52:27,897
My floor's my pride,
884
00:52:28,023 --> 00:52:31,567
so no shoes,
leave them off before you step in.
885
00:52:31,776 --> 00:52:34,779
And I see that nonsense
go down in the cafeteria.
886
00:52:34,863 --> 00:52:36,572
I don't care if you're gay or what,
887
00:52:36,698 --> 00:52:40,118
but you bring any drama in here
and we'll have trouble.
888
00:52:40,200 --> 00:52:43,538
I don't tolerate foolishness in my bunk.
Understand?
889
00:52:53,506 --> 00:52:57,135
The following inmates have
prescriptions waiting in the infirmary...
890
00:53:10,356 --> 00:53:12,108
- You have the right to remain silent.
- I don't understand!
891
00:53:12,232 --> 00:53:13,985
- What's happening?
- Anything you say or do
892
00:53:14,069 --> 00:53:15,444
can and will be held against you
in a court of law.
893
00:53:15,570 --> 00:53:17,072
- You have the right to an attorney.
- What did you do?
894
00:53:17,197 --> 00:53:19,717
If you cannot afford an attorney,
one will be appointed for you.
895
00:53:19,741 --> 00:53:22,242
Do you understand these rights
as I just read 'em to you?
896
00:53:24,579 --> 00:53:25,747
Yes.
897
00:53:25,914 --> 00:53:28,624
With these rights in mind,
do you wish to speak to me?
898
00:53:34,547 --> 00:53:35,757
No.
899
00:53:40,178 --> 00:53:44,306
Officer Williams,
inmate services, station 2365.
900
00:53:44,432 --> 00:53:46,101
Hey, Burset!
901
00:53:56,527 --> 00:53:59,405
I heard you've been looking for something.
902
00:54:00,322 --> 00:54:02,450
Change your mind about
that Egg McMuffin?
903
00:54:04,577 --> 00:54:06,788
You've got the wrong girl.
904
00:55:07,750 --> 00:55:18,337
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com