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Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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Yo, Burset.
3
00:01:58,718 --> 00:02:00,469
We're clearing out, man.
4
00:02:02,430 --> 00:02:03,598
What the fuck you doing?
5
00:02:04,059 --> 00:02:05,854
Cap wanted me to document the damage.
6
00:02:06,312 --> 00:02:09,023
You gotta check out this life-sized fucking
panda bear they got in their living room,
7
00:02:09,148 --> 00:02:10,107
half burnt.
8
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It's got one melted plastic eye.
9
00:02:12,234 --> 00:02:13,862
Come on, I'll show you.
10
00:02:20,785 --> 00:02:23,913
So I say to her, "You're the third
pregnant girl I've rescued this month."
11
00:02:24,079 --> 00:02:27,041
She goes, "But, I'm not pregnant!"
And I go, "You're not rescued yet!"
12
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Hey, Burset, where the fuck you going?
13
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Gotta drain the hose.
14
00:02:31,546 --> 00:02:34,716
Anyway, you know the fucking
crying guy with the cat? Remember him?
15
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I kept telling him
the cat wasn't in the house.
16
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He kept screaming that I gotta go back in.
17
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Laundry is now available for pick-up.
18
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You sick fuck, do that in the bathroom.
19
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I got cancer.
20
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Is he allowed to watch us like that?
21
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Pornstache?
22
00:04:28,037 --> 00:04:30,039
He does whatever he wants.
23
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One of these days, you're gonna have
to change your panties, Chapman.
24
00:04:32,500 --> 00:04:34,669
That shit's gotta be getting ripe.
25
00:04:34,752 --> 00:04:36,337
Look at this.
26
00:04:36,462 --> 00:04:39,882
I asked Sophia to do my roots,
she says there's a two-week waiting list.
27
00:04:40,174 --> 00:04:44,720
I wouldn't let that he-she
touch my hair with a 10-foot pole.
28
00:04:44,846 --> 00:04:48,126
Well, hey, maybe you'll get lucky and go
bald everywhere but in the tits like Rosa.
29
00:04:48,182 --> 00:04:51,102
And Sophia's pole is a hole now.
30
00:04:51,226 --> 00:04:53,437
Watson, Bresnahan and Diaz,
31
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report to your counselor
for your bunk assignments.
32
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Watson, Bresnahan and Diaz.
33
00:04:58,067 --> 00:04:59,110
Finally.
34
00:04:59,276 --> 00:05:00,987
Wait, you got assigned?
35
00:05:01,154 --> 00:05:02,404
This is bullshit.
36
00:05:02,530 --> 00:05:04,115
You know, I did my time in SHU.
37
00:05:04,198 --> 00:05:07,035
How much longer are they gonna keep me
in here with Darth Vader and Mr. Clean?
38
00:05:07,201 --> 00:05:08,995
Fuck you.
39
00:05:09,162 --> 00:05:10,830
Why didn't I get assigned?
40
00:05:11,706 --> 00:05:14,208
They're probably sending her
to Spanish Harlem.
41
00:05:14,333 --> 00:05:16,544
They're gonna put you in The Suburbs
with the other white people.
42
00:05:16,711 --> 00:05:18,754
So how do they choose your roommate?
43
00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:20,381
Why?
44
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You afraid you're gonna end up
with your rocka-lezzie girlfriend?
45
00:05:35,897 --> 00:05:38,816
"Goals are the fuel
in the furnace of achievement."
46
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Oh, I'm sorry.
47
00:05:44,279 --> 00:05:46,908
Bitch, don't be cutting!
There's a line here.
48
00:05:47,033 --> 00:05:49,785
Um, for the toilet? I just need to pee.
49
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Can I pee?
50
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Go pee, kid.
51
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This better be hot.
52
00:05:55,124 --> 00:05:58,460
If I find another clump of hair in
the drain, there's gonna be trouble.
53
00:06:00,046 --> 00:06:01,589
Oh! Gee! I'm sorry.
54
00:06:01,714 --> 00:06:03,465
It's okay, honey, you can look.
55
00:06:03,591 --> 00:06:05,593
I spent a lot of money for it.
56
00:06:07,302 --> 00:06:09,304
Go ahead, it's all yours.
57
00:06:10,014 --> 00:06:12,558
That's okay, I think I'll just wait.
58
00:06:12,975 --> 00:06:14,643
You gonna be waiting a long time, now.
59
00:06:19,815 --> 00:06:21,234
She's talking to the devil.
60
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Yeah, I got that part.
61
00:06:23,027 --> 00:06:25,029
That's Satan's stall.
62
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At least Satan gets a door.
63
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Give it a week.
64
00:06:28,490 --> 00:06:31,202
You'll be pissing and farting
with the rest of us.
65
00:06:32,245 --> 00:06:33,965
Your commissary ain't come in yet?
66
00:06:34,914 --> 00:06:36,665
Oh, I think so.
67
00:06:36,791 --> 00:06:39,710
My ID number doesn't shop until tomorrow.
68
00:06:39,961 --> 00:06:41,629
You better hope they got what you need.
69
00:06:41,754 --> 00:06:44,257
Ain't had powder foundation in dark
for three months.
70
00:06:44,339 --> 00:06:46,467
I can't be walking around here
with white face on.
71
00:06:47,468 --> 00:06:50,930
But those sad pair of shower shoes
are not gonna save you.
72
00:06:51,180 --> 00:06:52,389
You need some of these.
73
00:06:53,432 --> 00:06:54,809
I made my own.
74
00:06:54,892 --> 00:06:55,935
Couture.
75
00:06:56,018 --> 00:06:58,437
Commissary don't carry a size 13.
76
00:06:59,354 --> 00:07:00,773
Is that duct tape?
77
00:07:00,898 --> 00:07:02,984
Metallics are very in this season.
78
00:07:04,652 --> 00:07:08,072
Don't hold your big bathroom too long.
Prison food stops you right up.
79
00:07:08,156 --> 00:07:09,657
You gotta get it out while you can.
80
00:07:09,740 --> 00:07:14,453
If you wanna skip that shower line,
do the 5:00 a.m. or the 5:00 p.m.
81
00:07:14,536 --> 00:07:15,830
That's my secret.
82
00:07:16,497 --> 00:07:18,291
Why are you telling me all of this?
83
00:07:18,373 --> 00:07:20,001
'Cause I fucked up your hair.
84
00:07:20,126 --> 00:07:22,003
That shit looks broke.
85
00:07:22,128 --> 00:07:25,173
When your commissary comes in,
swing by the salon.
86
00:07:25,256 --> 00:07:27,675
I'll fix it right up for you.
87
00:07:27,842 --> 00:07:30,303
Okay. Thank you.
88
00:07:31,386 --> 00:07:34,849
There's no point in playing shy, baby.
You're home.
89
00:08:06,214 --> 00:08:07,882
Medical
staff to the iso ward...
90
00:08:07,965 --> 00:08:09,800
Now, that's a fucking waste right there.
91
00:08:09,884 --> 00:08:11,886
Black girl with a white girl booty.
92
00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:14,180
I mean, what's the point?
93
00:08:14,555 --> 00:08:17,266
Ooh, watch out for this one, man.
94
00:08:17,391 --> 00:08:19,060
She looks real good,
and then she opens her mouth.
95
00:08:19,185 --> 00:08:23,189
She's got those snaggly
fucking Gargamel teeth.
96
00:08:23,272 --> 00:08:25,900
Fucking meth heads, man.
97
00:08:29,904 --> 00:08:31,989
Now, that right there?
98
00:08:32,740 --> 00:08:35,284
That's a whole different
species, my friend.
99
00:08:35,409 --> 00:08:37,661
Hey, Burset.
100
00:08:39,454 --> 00:08:41,249
Come over here.
101
00:08:41,374 --> 00:08:43,774
Prisoner maintenance detail
for the shower room.
102
00:08:47,796 --> 00:08:50,591
Mmm. Smell that.
103
00:08:50,674 --> 00:08:52,426
That smell good to you?
104
00:08:52,551 --> 00:08:53,844
Mickey D's?
105
00:08:54,845 --> 00:08:57,306
How long's it been since
you had one of these?
106
00:08:59,016 --> 00:09:01,102
- Long time.
- Mmm-hmm.
107
00:09:01,269 --> 00:09:02,644
Do you want some?
108
00:09:03,437 --> 00:09:05,106
You offering me a taste?
109
00:09:06,148 --> 00:09:08,442
You can suck it out of my dick.
110
00:09:09,110 --> 00:09:12,154
I don't do sausage
in my breakfast sandwich.
111
00:09:15,824 --> 00:09:18,286
What the fuck are you doing
inside the CO bubble?
112
00:09:20,288 --> 00:09:25,126
Your foot's over the line, Burset. You
better get back before I give you a shot.
113
00:09:28,212 --> 00:09:29,922
Shit is wild, right?
114
00:09:30,089 --> 00:09:31,299
Freaky.
115
00:09:31,799 --> 00:09:33,801
Freaky-deaky. Freaktown.
116
00:09:35,636 --> 00:09:37,138
Cyborg pussy.
117
00:09:38,139 --> 00:09:40,474
I bet it's fucking perfect.
118
00:09:41,475 --> 00:09:43,076
Don't tell me you'd hit that?
119
00:09:43,144 --> 00:09:44,770
I live in the present, not in the past.
120
00:09:44,853 --> 00:09:46,981
Besides, she used to have a dick,
121
00:09:47,106 --> 00:09:49,150
and so she knows what it likes.
122
00:09:56,073 --> 00:09:58,533
What'd you guys do about pussy
in Iraq anyway?
123
00:09:59,327 --> 00:10:00,786
Did you fuck camels?
124
00:10:00,911 --> 00:10:02,371
I was in Afghanistan.
125
00:10:02,496 --> 00:10:04,176
And you don't go anywhere near the camels,
126
00:10:04,206 --> 00:10:06,000
'cause sometimes they strap them up
with explosives
127
00:10:06,125 --> 00:10:08,543
and run them into camp and...
128
00:10:09,170 --> 00:10:10,545
And if you try to have sex
with the girls there,
129
00:10:10,671 --> 00:10:12,298
their village throws rocks
at 'em till they die,
130
00:10:12,381 --> 00:10:14,342
so there's not a lot going on.
131
00:10:14,425 --> 00:10:16,510
Plus, they're all dressed like beekeepers.
132
00:10:16,593 --> 00:10:18,762
Occasionally, a Russian hooker
comes through,
133
00:10:18,846 --> 00:10:21,849
but those girls are nasty
and they cry a lot.
134
00:10:22,057 --> 00:10:24,352
Transporting one to I-S 12.
135
00:10:24,518 --> 00:10:26,728
All these offenders want
a piece of me, Bennett.
136
00:10:27,396 --> 00:10:29,064
You know why?
137
00:10:29,523 --> 00:10:31,400
It's the fucking pheromones, man.
138
00:10:31,525 --> 00:10:35,029
You get 'em all locked up like this
for a long time,
139
00:10:35,154 --> 00:10:38,866
and they get this prehistoric yearning
for man-stink.
140
00:10:39,783 --> 00:10:43,454
They fucking hate my guts, you know?
141
00:10:43,537 --> 00:10:45,914
But they can't help themselves.
142
00:10:46,999 --> 00:10:49,084
I'm musty and they love it.
143
00:10:50,378 --> 00:10:52,087
You don't really...
144
00:10:52,213 --> 00:10:54,215
What? Fuck 'em?
145
00:10:56,258 --> 00:10:58,886
Hell, no! That's against the rules.
146
00:10:59,053 --> 00:11:01,138
Ladies in the house programs,
147
00:11:01,222 --> 00:11:02,264
we will begin in one hour.
148
00:11:02,390 --> 00:11:04,558
But I tell you what, grasshopper.
149
00:11:05,559 --> 00:11:09,313
Some of these bitches would suck it
for half a cigarette.
150
00:11:10,147 --> 00:11:11,940
Swallow. Lift your tongue.
151
00:11:12,649 --> 00:11:13,901
Okay. Move on.
152
00:11:14,318 --> 00:11:15,403
Black!
153
00:11:15,652 --> 00:11:17,905
Take these with food. No check.
154
00:11:18,113 --> 00:11:19,656
Ooh, you got me on the yellow ones.
I like the yellow ones.
155
00:11:19,740 --> 00:11:22,910
Lost 10 pounds on the yellow ones.
But gave me that horrible rash on my...
156
00:11:22,993 --> 00:11:24,328
Not my problem.
157
00:11:24,745 --> 00:11:25,787
Burset.
158
00:11:28,957 --> 00:11:30,251
What are those? Those aren't my pills.
159
00:11:30,334 --> 00:11:32,920
They are now.
Whole prison is going generic.
160
00:11:33,045 --> 00:11:34,629
What's the dose?
161
00:11:34,796 --> 00:11:36,298
.5 milligrams.
162
00:11:36,424 --> 00:11:37,966
Then that ain't enough.
I need four of those.
163
00:11:38,092 --> 00:11:39,592
I do what the chart says.
164
00:11:40,386 --> 00:11:41,594
You can't just change my dose.
165
00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:43,431
Talk to your counselor, okay?
166
00:11:44,597 --> 00:11:45,724
Fatovich!
167
00:11:48,561 --> 00:11:50,938
You got a name, girl?
168
00:11:51,105 --> 00:11:53,774
That's your bed, those two are your hooks.
169
00:11:53,899 --> 00:11:56,318
This ain't like the projects in here,
I got rules.
170
00:11:56,444 --> 00:11:58,611
No sleeping all day 'cause it's depressing.
171
00:11:58,737 --> 00:12:00,114
Clean up after yourself.
172
00:12:00,197 --> 00:12:04,410
If I find a mess on this floor, my floor,
you're gonna hear about it.
173
00:12:04,493 --> 00:12:06,120
And keep your food sealed,
174
00:12:06,203 --> 00:12:08,456
because I don't need chipmunks
or roaches in here
175
00:12:08,539 --> 00:12:10,249
trying to get their Cup O' Noodles on,
176
00:12:10,332 --> 00:12:12,209
plus that poor excuse for food stinks
to high heaven...
177
00:12:12,293 --> 00:12:15,296
I sleep whenever I want, old lady.
178
00:12:17,465 --> 00:12:20,675
And I don't know what busted-ass country
you come from,
179
00:12:20,801 --> 00:12:22,553
but this is America,
180
00:12:22,677 --> 00:12:26,265
and if I want noodles, I'll eat noodles.
181
00:12:26,348 --> 00:12:31,019
Now, back off across your floor before
I make you that mess you hate so much.
182
00:12:35,357 --> 00:12:36,567
Time to peel that orange, Chapman.
183
00:12:36,649 --> 00:12:37,901
You're one of us now.
184
00:12:37,985 --> 00:12:40,737
One of us. One of us.
185
00:12:40,821 --> 00:12:43,198
Gooble gobble. Gooble gobble.
186
00:12:44,032 --> 00:12:48,661
Inmate Martinez, report for
an assignment at the laundry detail.
187
00:12:48,829 --> 00:12:50,914
Nine and a half, right?
188
00:12:54,084 --> 00:12:55,169
Ten.
189
00:12:57,171 --> 00:12:59,340
Did your feet swell
when you went back to boys?
190
00:13:00,174 --> 00:13:01,509
Fuck you.
191
00:13:03,552 --> 00:13:05,272
You can't just change people's meds!
192
00:13:05,346 --> 00:13:08,307
I got a line of golden girls complaining
about blood pressure pills.
193
00:13:08,390 --> 00:13:10,100
Half this prison's on antidepressants.
194
00:13:10,184 --> 00:13:12,504
You take away their Zoloft,
they're gonna go off the rails.
195
00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:14,980
Monumentally bad.
Monumental pain in my ass.
196
00:13:15,063 --> 00:13:17,358
Your ass? I'm juggling vendor changes,
staff reductions.
197
00:13:17,483 --> 00:13:19,360
Look at me, I'm paying
for my own coffee here.
198
00:13:19,485 --> 00:13:23,322
I got a tranny camped out in my hallway
yelling about her hormones!
199
00:13:23,405 --> 00:13:26,033
He can suck it up. She. Jesus.
200
00:13:26,116 --> 00:13:27,868
She could be a major headache for us.
201
00:13:27,951 --> 00:13:29,744
We are only required
to give her enough to maintain.
202
00:13:29,870 --> 00:13:31,413
It is a federal system.
203
00:13:31,539 --> 00:13:34,249
If he wanted to keep his girlish figure,
he should've stayed out of jail.
204
00:13:34,375 --> 00:13:36,793
Why would anyone ever
give up being a man?
205
00:13:36,877 --> 00:13:40,255
It's like winning the lottery
and giving the ticket back.
206
00:13:58,940 --> 00:14:00,526
Hello, baby.
207
00:14:02,944 --> 00:14:05,239
Look at you getting your sweat on.
208
00:14:05,322 --> 00:14:06,907
You look all shiny.
209
00:14:06,990 --> 00:14:09,410
I bet you don't even smell funky.
210
00:14:10,994 --> 00:14:12,787
I knew you wouldn't.
211
00:14:13,247 --> 00:14:16,250
You a real woman, Chapman.
A real grown woman.
212
00:14:16,333 --> 00:14:18,210
And not like all these
other girls around here.
213
00:14:18,293 --> 00:14:20,713
I can't waste my time
with these silly bitches.
214
00:14:20,795 --> 00:14:22,923
I need a real woman.
215
00:14:24,592 --> 00:14:25,593
I'm sure that you'll find one.
216
00:14:25,718 --> 00:14:27,386
- I wrote a poem, you wanna hear?
- You know, that's fine...
217
00:14:27,469 --> 00:14:32,266
"Before I met you
the sun was like a yellow grape
218
00:14:33,601 --> 00:14:36,729
"But now, it look like fire in the sky
219
00:14:36,811 --> 00:14:43,777
"Why? Because you light a fire inside me"
220
00:14:47,906 --> 00:14:49,283
Wow.
221
00:14:53,621 --> 00:14:54,996
I wrote it for you.
222
00:14:57,666 --> 00:14:59,627
You know, my fiancé is a writer.
223
00:15:03,046 --> 00:15:05,507
I'm gonna call you Dandelion.
224
00:15:05,633 --> 00:15:09,094
'Cause they're pretty,
and yellow, just like you.
225
00:15:10,429 --> 00:15:11,680
Everybody out! Let's go!
226
00:15:11,888 --> 00:15:13,474
Oh! Thank you.
227
00:15:15,976 --> 00:15:16,977
What's going on?
228
00:15:17,060 --> 00:15:18,061
Locking up the track.
229
00:15:18,145 --> 00:15:19,772
- Why?
- Budget cuts.
230
00:15:19,854 --> 00:15:21,482
No staff to cover it.
231
00:15:21,649 --> 00:15:23,817
But I have to run.
232
00:15:23,900 --> 00:15:26,236
This is the only thing
that makes me feel normal.
233
00:15:26,361 --> 00:15:28,822
Ya'll gonna have to do your swirl
someplace else.
234
00:15:29,782 --> 00:15:31,116
Swirl?
235
00:15:31,533 --> 00:15:34,077
Chocolate and vanilla.
236
00:15:34,620 --> 00:15:40,334
Swir-irl. Swir-irl.
237
00:15:41,042 --> 00:15:46,298
The bottom line is that the prison can
no longer provide high-end hormones.
238
00:15:46,381 --> 00:15:50,135
If I don't get my medication,
I'm going through withdrawal.
239
00:15:50,218 --> 00:15:54,640
Hot flashes, night sweats. My face will
sag, my body hair will start to grow back.
240
00:15:54,807 --> 00:15:56,016
Okay, we don't need to get into...
241
00:15:56,099 --> 00:15:58,018
Let me explain this for you.
242
00:15:58,101 --> 00:16:01,146
When my penis was split in half
and inverted,
243
00:16:01,229 --> 00:16:03,315
my testes were removed,
244
00:16:03,398 --> 00:16:05,693
so I don't have any testosterone left
245
00:16:05,776 --> 00:16:09,154
to replace the estrogen
that you taking away from me!
246
00:16:09,237 --> 00:16:11,865
Okay, okay! What do you want from me?
247
00:16:14,075 --> 00:16:15,536
I wanna see a doctor.
248
00:16:15,661 --> 00:16:17,701
You can't go to the clinic
unless it's an emergency.
249
00:16:17,788 --> 00:16:19,247
This is an emergency.
250
00:16:19,373 --> 00:16:21,041
Yeah, well, we don't see it that way.
251
00:16:26,171 --> 00:16:27,214
Was there something else?
252
00:16:28,298 --> 00:16:29,383
Yes.
253
00:16:39,685 --> 00:16:42,020
I'd like to report an emergency.
254
00:16:44,648 --> 00:16:47,359
Man, new bunkie's trying
to lay down all these rules and shit.
255
00:16:47,442 --> 00:16:51,279
"Dis go here. Dat go there.
Dis how you be wipin' your bunghole."
256
00:16:51,446 --> 00:16:53,365
Wait, you got assigned?
What dorm are you in?
257
00:16:54,700 --> 00:16:57,745
Yo, girl, be careful messing with
Miss Claudette. That woman is no joke.
258
00:16:58,036 --> 00:17:00,789
What, is she gonna put
a voodoo curse on me?
259
00:17:00,873 --> 00:17:03,542
Island bitch got control issues.
260
00:17:03,625 --> 00:17:06,253
Word is she killed someone.
That's why she doin' so much time.
261
00:17:06,336 --> 00:17:07,504
Yeah, I believe it, too.
262
00:17:07,588 --> 00:17:09,548
You look in her eyes
and know she seen some shit.
263
00:17:09,631 --> 00:17:10,632
I'm not scared of her.
264
00:17:10,758 --> 00:17:11,842
You should be.
265
00:17:11,925 --> 00:17:15,679
I hear when she was down the hill she threw a
pot of boiling water in her bunkie's face.
266
00:17:15,763 --> 00:17:19,516
Burned her eyelids off.
She be looking like Beetlejuice and shit.
267
00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:20,768
So?
268
00:17:20,934 --> 00:17:22,352
Let her come at me.
269
00:17:22,436 --> 00:17:24,062
Yo, come on, now.
270
00:17:24,229 --> 00:17:25,669
She'll see what she be messing with.
271
00:17:25,689 --> 00:17:28,275
Yo, the lady ain't taken a visitor
in 10 years
272
00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:30,068
'cause she won't do strip search.
273
00:17:30,151 --> 00:17:32,279
And she ain't dookied
274
00:17:32,446 --> 00:17:34,030
- the whole time she been locked up.
- Oh, come on.
275
00:17:34,114 --> 00:17:35,156
No, I'm serious.
276
00:17:35,282 --> 00:17:37,117
- That's crazy.
- Nah, for reals.
277
00:17:37,242 --> 00:17:40,954
No one's ever seen her use the stalls!
That's the truth. She don't poop.
278
00:17:41,037 --> 00:17:44,458
She probably got a voodoo spell
stopping up her butt.
279
00:17:44,625 --> 00:17:46,126
That's some steel right there.
280
00:17:55,051 --> 00:17:58,680
Maxi pads with wings
are back in the commissary.
281
00:18:02,225 --> 00:18:06,939
Swing shift guard detail.
P.m. cell check commences at 2130 hours.
282
00:18:16,782 --> 00:18:20,452
I had to rub Red's feet for this.
45 minutes.
283
00:18:20,577 --> 00:18:22,162
You can't sit there.
284
00:18:23,037 --> 00:18:24,957
How long are you gonna do this?
285
00:18:25,499 --> 00:18:27,584
We both live here.
We have to deal with each other.
286
00:18:27,668 --> 00:18:29,002
No, we don't.
287
00:18:29,127 --> 00:18:31,588
I plan on spending my entire sentence
avoiding you.
288
00:18:31,672 --> 00:18:32,714
Get over it.
289
00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:35,425
We did some illegal shit
and we both got caught.
290
00:18:36,009 --> 00:18:37,678
You stole my life.
291
00:18:39,638 --> 00:18:42,683
You stole my good life
that I made after you.
292
00:18:44,184 --> 00:18:46,102
Stay the fuck away from me.
293
00:18:48,605 --> 00:18:51,692
Ladies, in-house programs
will begin in one hour.
294
00:18:51,775 --> 00:18:53,652
Is there a problem here?
295
00:18:54,486 --> 00:18:55,863
No.
296
00:18:56,655 --> 00:18:58,866
You bothering my friend here?
297
00:18:59,908 --> 00:19:03,036
Dandelion, she bothering you?
298
00:19:03,203 --> 00:19:05,288
No, we were just talking.
299
00:19:05,706 --> 00:19:09,543
Yeah, she is bothering me.
300
00:19:10,961 --> 00:19:13,722
Then you need to be on your way.
'Cause she don't like talking to you.
301
00:19:13,839 --> 00:19:16,550
Not one bit.
302
00:19:18,051 --> 00:19:19,093
Are you kidding me?
303
00:19:19,219 --> 00:19:21,054
Move, bitch.
304
00:19:21,137 --> 00:19:22,897
This is my wife here,
so you need to step...
305
00:19:22,973 --> 00:19:24,516
Well, no, I'm not actually your...
306
00:19:24,599 --> 00:19:28,395
I will cut you!
I will cut you, bitch!
307
00:19:28,562 --> 00:19:30,355
Don't make me cut you!
308
00:19:30,438 --> 00:19:34,860
You know where the fuck you at, bitch?
You don't know me!
309
00:19:35,318 --> 00:19:37,070
Take it easy, take it easy.
310
00:19:41,616 --> 00:19:44,953
It's all right. We all good.
311
00:19:46,204 --> 00:19:47,455
Mmm-hmm.
312
00:19:59,927 --> 00:20:01,261
I'm not your wife.
313
00:20:02,262 --> 00:20:04,514
I threw my pie for you.
314
00:20:10,437 --> 00:20:13,648
The head should pass through your body
in three to five days.
315
00:20:13,774 --> 00:20:15,776
Unless you start vomiting
or have severe cramping,
316
00:20:15,859 --> 00:20:18,904
it's best just to let the body
eliminate this on its own.
317
00:20:19,029 --> 00:20:20,614
I'm gonna have to shit it out.
318
00:20:20,781 --> 00:20:24,492
If it made it down your esophagus,
it should travel the rest of the way.
319
00:20:24,618 --> 00:20:26,870
If it doesn't pass in a week,
we'll consider surgery.
320
00:20:26,954 --> 00:20:28,663
Pay close attention to your stool.
321
00:20:28,789 --> 00:20:30,290
I don't think I could miss it.
322
00:20:30,457 --> 00:20:32,960
I'm going to have to put you
on suicide watch.
323
00:20:33,627 --> 00:20:35,837
What? Why?
324
00:20:35,963 --> 00:20:38,298
We take swallowers very seriously.
325
00:20:38,465 --> 00:20:41,676
You really think I would've eaten
a bobble-head if I wanted to kill myself?
326
00:20:42,636 --> 00:20:44,429
Listen, Doc, I need my dosage.
327
00:20:45,138 --> 00:20:50,102
I've given five years, $80,000
and my freedom for this.
328
00:20:50,184 --> 00:20:53,563
I'm finally who I'm supposed to be.
Do you understand?
329
00:20:53,647 --> 00:20:55,356
I can't go back.
330
00:20:56,316 --> 00:20:57,484
Look,
331
00:20:58,443 --> 00:21:00,278
I'd like to help you.
332
00:21:01,154 --> 00:21:04,116
Unfortunately, you have elevated levels
of AST and ALT,
333
00:21:04,198 --> 00:21:05,700
which could mean liver damage...
334
00:21:05,826 --> 00:21:08,286
That's bullshit. That could mean anything.
335
00:21:10,330 --> 00:21:11,873
We're gonna take you
off your hormones entirely...
336
00:21:11,999 --> 00:21:13,416
- What?
- ...until we can schedule an ultrasound.
337
00:21:13,500 --> 00:21:14,793
Get a clean read.
338
00:21:15,460 --> 00:21:16,670
But that could take months.
339
00:21:16,837 --> 00:21:19,380
I can offer you an antidepressant.
340
00:21:20,674 --> 00:21:21,758
I can't take it!
341
00:21:22,509 --> 00:21:23,510
Can I open 'em?
342
00:21:25,345 --> 00:21:27,347
All righty. Open 'em.
343
00:21:30,684 --> 00:21:32,144
Oh, my God.
344
00:21:32,226 --> 00:21:34,021
- Good or bad?
- Not good.
345
00:21:34,146 --> 00:21:38,692
You look like Hannah Montana.
That skirt is...
346
00:21:38,859 --> 00:21:40,861
I thought it was so cute.
347
00:21:41,736 --> 00:21:43,864
That's what happens when I shop for myself.
348
00:21:44,781 --> 00:21:46,700
It's 'cause I never got
to be a teenage girl.
349
00:21:46,783 --> 00:21:48,368
And you never will be.
350
00:21:48,493 --> 00:21:51,287
You should be dressing like a classy
grown-up lady.
351
00:21:51,997 --> 00:21:53,373
You think I'm classy?
352
00:21:53,581 --> 00:21:57,210
I can't have my husband walking 'round
like a $2 hooker.
353
00:21:57,752 --> 00:21:59,129
Let's see.
354
00:22:01,715 --> 00:22:03,008
Ah.
355
00:22:03,508 --> 00:22:06,053
Yeah, this color looks good on you.
356
00:22:06,678 --> 00:22:08,055
Come here.
357
00:22:34,081 --> 00:22:36,290
Can't believe I'm doing this.
358
00:22:37,291 --> 00:22:38,626
You don't have to.
359
00:22:39,753 --> 00:22:41,088
Hmm.
360
00:22:41,713 --> 00:22:43,173
Okay.
361
00:22:43,631 --> 00:22:45,425
That is much better.
362
00:22:46,467 --> 00:22:50,931
I can't zip it, but you get the idea.
363
00:22:55,018 --> 00:22:58,730
Holy shit. I look hot.
364
00:23:07,030 --> 00:23:08,740
Please keep it.
365
00:23:09,616 --> 00:23:10,951
Crystal...
366
00:23:11,034 --> 00:23:13,912
I'm fine with the rest of it.
The hair and the makeup.
367
00:23:13,995 --> 00:23:16,623
I'll teach you all of it. You'll be a pro.
368
00:23:20,210 --> 00:23:22,170
Just please keep your penis.
369
00:23:24,547 --> 00:23:26,424
- You know I can't.
- For me.
370
00:23:31,679 --> 00:23:33,056
You don't have to stay.
371
00:23:37,644 --> 00:23:38,812
No?
372
00:23:39,353 --> 00:23:42,649
Where would I go? I mean,
this is my family.
373
00:23:50,531 --> 00:23:54,452
I got this for you.
You can try it on if you want.
374
00:23:54,535 --> 00:23:55,912
I'm 10 pounds up.
375
00:23:56,037 --> 00:23:59,124
Besides, your tits are better than mine.
376
00:24:00,959 --> 00:24:02,502
You're perfect.
377
00:24:02,627 --> 00:24:04,004
Come here.
378
00:24:21,980 --> 00:24:24,440
- You can't leave me alone with my mother.
- I know, I know.
379
00:24:24,524 --> 00:24:27,359
I promised your brother I'd help him fix
the roof of his trailer.
380
00:24:27,485 --> 00:24:29,070
I need a buffer!
381
00:24:29,196 --> 00:24:31,031
Why can't you just come and visit me
382
00:24:31,114 --> 00:24:32,866
every single waking moment
that you're allowed to
383
00:24:32,991 --> 00:24:34,993
and make your life all about me?
384
00:24:35,202 --> 00:24:39,080
Piper, we talked about this, okay? Visits
every other week, so I can have a life.
385
00:24:39,206 --> 00:24:41,041
You said that. These are your words.
386
00:24:41,124 --> 00:24:42,542
But I'm an idiot.
387
00:24:42,709 --> 00:24:45,170
Okay, here's the game,
388
00:24:45,253 --> 00:24:47,463
you remember every rude thing she says,
all right?
389
00:24:47,547 --> 00:24:48,589
And then next week,
390
00:24:48,715 --> 00:24:52,302
we will rank them in
order from kind of crazy
391
00:24:52,384 --> 00:24:54,888
to truly bat-shit bananas.
392
00:24:55,013 --> 00:24:57,265
It'll be fun! Come on, Piper.
393
00:24:58,058 --> 00:25:00,310
I can't cancel. He's living under a tarp.
394
00:25:00,476 --> 00:25:01,853
Jesus.
395
00:25:02,478 --> 00:25:05,190
When is he gonna get his shit together?
396
00:25:05,315 --> 00:25:08,235
I'm not sure that Cal gets
the "family fuck-up" title anymore.
397
00:25:11,612 --> 00:25:13,865
You okay, Pipes?
398
00:25:14,115 --> 00:25:16,659
In-house programs start in one hour.
399
00:25:16,784 --> 00:25:18,370
Are those groceries?
400
00:25:18,578 --> 00:25:21,081
Yes. But...
401
00:25:21,206 --> 00:25:22,916
You forgot to bring the bags.
402
00:25:24,251 --> 00:25:29,339
Uh, I did, but I'm gonna eat the bag later,
so don't worry. Planet is safe.
403
00:25:29,547 --> 00:25:32,092
Did you go to Whole Foods?
What did you get?
404
00:25:32,217 --> 00:25:33,718
A bunch of stuff.
405
00:25:33,885 --> 00:25:39,599
No, no, no. Be specific. Tell me everything.
In detail. Just take me away.
406
00:25:40,516 --> 00:25:44,104
Okay, um, I got some crispy snap peas,
407
00:25:44,229 --> 00:25:46,981
I got some cherry juice for my smoothies.
408
00:25:47,107 --> 00:25:49,025
Oh, God, smoothies.
409
00:25:49,943 --> 00:25:53,280
Then some purple kale,
Uncle Eddie's vegan cookies.
410
00:25:53,363 --> 00:25:56,032
I can feel them in my mouth.
411
00:25:58,076 --> 00:26:02,122
Then I got, um, you know,
those bulk roasted almonds.
412
00:26:02,205 --> 00:26:06,167
You know, with the sugar coating
on the top?
413
00:26:06,293 --> 00:26:07,493
Yeah, yeah, the crack almonds.
414
00:26:07,585 --> 00:26:09,045
The crack almonds.
415
00:26:10,713 --> 00:26:14,508
And, uh, well, then I got some
heirloom tomatoes.
416
00:26:15,551 --> 00:26:17,971
Last of the season, you know?
417
00:26:18,096 --> 00:26:22,809
Super plump and ripe. Engorged almost.
418
00:26:22,892 --> 00:26:26,854
With some wet, juicy buffalo mozzarella.
419
00:26:26,980 --> 00:26:29,941
And some sweet, sweet-ass
organic blueberries.
420
00:26:30,066 --> 00:26:31,651
Mmm.
421
00:26:31,776 --> 00:26:34,321
My cock is hard.
And I'm rubbing it against your ass.
422
00:26:34,404 --> 00:26:35,529
What? What?
423
00:26:35,655 --> 00:26:38,074
- What?
- Are you trying to have phone sex with me?
424
00:26:38,158 --> 00:26:42,329
I thought that's what we...
I'm confused.
425
00:26:42,912 --> 00:26:45,832
There are guards listening.
They sit in a bubble and they listen.
426
00:26:45,915 --> 00:26:47,499
I'm sure people do it all the time.
427
00:26:48,418 --> 00:26:50,420
And there's a woman weeping next to me.
428
00:26:52,005 --> 00:26:57,218
Okay. Well, I'm just gonna go jerk off then.
For the 500th time today.
429
00:26:57,635 --> 00:26:59,846
Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry.
430
00:27:00,013 --> 00:27:03,016
No, it's okay. I'm, uh...
431
00:27:03,141 --> 00:27:05,810
I'm reliving my youth. I'm 14 again.
432
00:27:05,977 --> 00:27:08,229
I know. I don't wanna...
433
00:27:08,355 --> 00:27:09,521
I love you.
434
00:27:12,150 --> 00:27:13,734
I love your little boobs.
435
00:27:14,110 --> 00:27:16,528
Oh, my God!
436
00:27:17,529 --> 00:27:18,656
No!
437
00:27:25,663 --> 00:27:28,500
You're not allowed to
put stuff on the walls.
438
00:27:28,666 --> 00:27:30,877
Everyone has stuff on their walls.
439
00:27:32,212 --> 00:27:33,380
Officer!
440
00:27:35,089 --> 00:27:36,466
What's going on?
441
00:27:36,548 --> 00:27:38,718
Tell her she gotta take
that ugly shit down.
442
00:27:43,223 --> 00:27:44,391
Your kid draw that?
443
00:27:46,059 --> 00:27:47,101
I did.
444
00:27:48,686 --> 00:27:50,522
- Sorry, I didn't mean...
- No, it's okay.
445
00:27:50,604 --> 00:27:53,941
I kind of messed it up.
My eyes are too small.
446
00:27:55,026 --> 00:27:56,528
No, it's nice.
447
00:27:57,445 --> 00:27:59,655
I mean, it's cool that
you can draw, you know?
448
00:27:59,739 --> 00:28:00,990
It's art.
449
00:28:02,242 --> 00:28:04,660
Oh, so you gonna allow that shit?
450
00:28:07,914 --> 00:28:09,707
She can leave it up.
451
00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:13,961
Fine.
452
00:28:14,087 --> 00:28:17,006
Then I'm gonna
put my pictures up of Kanye.
453
00:28:17,589 --> 00:28:22,053
- What did you do to your hair?
- I had to give it to a transsexual.
454
00:28:22,136 --> 00:28:23,679
For a weave.
455
00:28:24,889 --> 00:28:26,766
Interesting.
456
00:28:26,891 --> 00:28:30,478
Your dad sends his love.
He wanted to come, but...
457
00:28:30,602 --> 00:28:32,522
No, I get it.
He doesn't wanna see me like this.
458
00:28:32,604 --> 00:28:33,773
Here.
459
00:28:33,898 --> 00:28:35,942
They didn't frisk me at the door.
460
00:28:36,067 --> 00:28:38,528
I mean, this could totally be
a fake belly full of drugs.
461
00:28:38,611 --> 00:28:40,113
How would they ever know?
462
00:28:40,238 --> 00:28:43,699
I get strip searched on the way out.
Squat and cough.
463
00:28:43,950 --> 00:28:45,743
Oh, Piper, please.
464
00:28:45,826 --> 00:28:48,871
You didn't touch anything
in that bathroom, did you?
465
00:28:48,955 --> 00:28:51,832
Everything around here is so sticky.
466
00:28:51,958 --> 00:28:55,587
But the people are much cleaner
than I thought they'd be.
467
00:28:57,338 --> 00:28:59,006
How are you feeling, Pol?
468
00:28:59,757 --> 00:29:02,135
Large. Hostile. Nothing new.
469
00:29:02,260 --> 00:29:05,888
I am so excited for you. For all of us.
470
00:29:05,972 --> 00:29:08,266
It is so smart to do this now.
471
00:29:08,349 --> 00:29:12,061
I told Piper, it's much harder to conceive
when you're in your late 30s.
472
00:29:12,770 --> 00:29:13,813
Thanks, Mom.
473
00:29:13,938 --> 00:29:15,356
Oh, but it's true.
474
00:29:15,482 --> 00:29:18,025
You just don't have a lot of time to waste.
475
00:29:18,151 --> 00:29:22,530
That's exactly what I need right now.
A reminder of my ebbing fertility.
476
00:29:26,451 --> 00:29:28,411
I'll go get some snacks.
477
00:29:32,499 --> 00:29:35,918
The whole way up she hummed
Édith Piaf songs and ate pistachios.
478
00:29:36,669 --> 00:29:39,964
You owe me. I wanted alone time with you.
479
00:29:40,632 --> 00:29:41,841
I have a wife!
480
00:29:42,008 --> 00:29:44,010
- What?
- A prison wife.
481
00:29:44,093 --> 00:29:46,513
Her name is Crazy Eyes
and she follows me everywhere.
482
00:29:46,679 --> 00:29:48,139
That really happens?
483
00:29:48,681 --> 00:29:49,974
Jeez.
484
00:29:50,057 --> 00:29:53,686
Are her eyes, like, bulgy or crossed,
or is one lid kind of droopy?
485
00:29:53,853 --> 00:29:55,188
- What kind of crazy?
- They're just crazy.
486
00:29:55,271 --> 00:29:57,649
They're just full of crazy.
It's terrifying.
487
00:29:57,731 --> 00:30:00,276
I'm afraid to tell Larry
because I don't want him to worry.
488
00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:03,154
But she's extremely persistent.
489
00:30:03,237 --> 00:30:05,323
She follows me everywhere.
490
00:30:05,698 --> 00:30:07,200
She threw pie for me.
491
00:30:07,367 --> 00:30:08,868
Did she rape you?
492
00:30:08,993 --> 00:30:11,704
- No, she didn't rape me.
- Oh.
493
00:30:11,787 --> 00:30:13,789
But she held my hand.
494
00:30:14,165 --> 00:30:15,958
Aw! That's kind of sweet.
495
00:30:16,042 --> 00:30:19,170
I wish Pete would hold my hand.
But he says it makes his palms sweat.
496
00:30:19,253 --> 00:30:21,013
And he won't stop laughing
in birthing class.
497
00:30:21,047 --> 00:30:22,674
He's like a seventh grader.
498
00:30:22,798 --> 00:30:25,051
I just told you that I have a wife.
499
00:30:25,176 --> 00:30:26,416
I heard you. That really sucks.
500
00:30:26,511 --> 00:30:29,138
But you were supposed
to be my wife, Piper, remember?
501
00:30:29,222 --> 00:30:32,392
I'm kind of freaking out that
you're not gonna be there.
502
00:30:33,226 --> 00:30:34,561
I know.
503
00:30:34,686 --> 00:30:36,354
I'm sorry.
504
00:30:37,021 --> 00:30:40,650
We just got this crib pad that sets
off an alarm if the baby stops breathing.
505
00:30:40,733 --> 00:30:42,276
Which could totally happen.
506
00:30:42,402 --> 00:30:43,570
I mean, that's a thing.
507
00:30:43,653 --> 00:30:45,863
And there's a skinny bitch
in my pre-natal yoga,
508
00:30:45,988 --> 00:30:47,740
she's a stick who swallowed a grapefruit.
509
00:30:47,823 --> 00:30:50,159
The other day she asked me
if I was having twins.
510
00:30:50,243 --> 00:30:52,245
Ugh, thank God. I'm starving.
511
00:30:52,328 --> 00:30:53,496
Skittles.
512
00:30:53,580 --> 00:30:57,958
Did you know that inmates are not allowed
to touch money in this place?
513
00:30:58,084 --> 00:31:00,836
The guard just told me. Fascinating.
514
00:31:02,505 --> 00:31:05,049
So what about the Barney's order?
Did you find a warehouse?
515
00:31:05,132 --> 00:31:07,760
Oh, I got a couple of sketchy bids.
I haven't had time to go look.
516
00:31:07,885 --> 00:31:09,303
Well, that's why we hired Mariana.
517
00:31:09,429 --> 00:31:11,097
I fired her.
518
00:31:11,180 --> 00:31:12,765
She doesn't know how
to make a Word document.
519
00:31:12,890 --> 00:31:14,350
And she doesn't shave her pits.
520
00:31:14,434 --> 00:31:16,603
Wait, but why didn't you ask me first?
521
00:31:16,686 --> 00:31:17,895
That's not fair.
522
00:31:19,439 --> 00:31:22,442
Oh, honey, it's not as if we can pick up
a phone and call you.
523
00:31:22,525 --> 00:31:24,277
I know it's hard,
524
00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:27,739
but the rest of us have
to keep living our lives.
525
00:31:37,457 --> 00:31:38,708
How you doing, Red?
526
00:31:38,791 --> 00:31:40,293
I'm missing half my zucchini.
527
00:31:40,376 --> 00:31:43,379
These girls don't realize I'm here
to provide food, not dildos.
528
00:31:44,213 --> 00:31:47,759
I'm all out of cucumbers, carrots, beets.
529
00:31:47,841 --> 00:31:50,303
God knows what they're doing with those.
530
00:31:50,428 --> 00:31:52,930
Can't hang on to anything cock-shaped.
531
00:31:56,559 --> 00:31:58,478
Sorry. Too soon?
532
00:31:59,103 --> 00:32:00,187
A little.
533
00:32:00,313 --> 00:32:02,482
You, I don't understand you.
534
00:32:03,274 --> 00:32:04,942
I got three sons, and let me tell you,
535
00:32:05,025 --> 00:32:07,069
if they tried to do what you did,
536
00:32:07,153 --> 00:32:11,282
I'd chop off their hands before
I'd let them get rid of their baby makers.
537
00:32:12,116 --> 00:32:14,327
I already made my baby.
538
00:32:14,452 --> 00:32:17,455
Listen, I need you to get something in.
539
00:32:18,038 --> 00:32:20,833
Talk to Gina. She takes my orders,
you know how this goes.
540
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:24,337
It's something that's hard to get.
Estrogen pills or patches.
541
00:32:24,462 --> 00:32:26,506
- I don't do drugs.
- It's medication.
542
00:32:26,673 --> 00:32:30,092
I got rules. No drugs.
Nothing like that comes through my kitchen.
543
00:32:30,176 --> 00:32:34,555
Besides, even if I wanted to help you,
I don't have connections like that.
544
00:32:36,641 --> 00:32:39,268
Here, have a yam.
545
00:32:39,352 --> 00:32:41,771
My mamochka ate those
during her menopause.
546
00:32:41,854 --> 00:32:45,358
And I'll get you some soy,
but that's the best I can do.
547
00:32:47,360 --> 00:32:49,320
What if I have my own connections?
548
00:32:49,445 --> 00:32:53,199
Do you not hear me, huh?
It's not gonna happen.
549
00:32:54,325 --> 00:32:57,537
Listen, sweetheart, there's other channels.
550
00:33:00,748 --> 00:33:04,502
But I really don't think you wanna
go down that road.
551
00:33:06,546 --> 00:33:09,089
You wanna go down that road?
I say Jordans.
552
00:33:09,215 --> 00:33:11,551
- Those are cool.
- Those are gay.
553
00:33:11,718 --> 00:33:12,719
I like the Lebrons.
554
00:33:12,844 --> 00:33:14,470
You want the highs or the lows?
555
00:33:14,595 --> 00:33:15,596
Both.
556
00:33:15,722 --> 00:33:16,764
No. Pick one, baby.
557
00:33:16,889 --> 00:33:20,017
If it were up to me, my
man, I'd say the lows.
558
00:33:20,100 --> 00:33:21,352
Those Dunkmans are tight.
559
00:33:21,435 --> 00:33:23,229
They're the hottest pair of kicks
to drop this year.
560
00:33:23,312 --> 00:33:24,397
How much?
561
00:33:24,522 --> 00:33:25,898
$300.
562
00:33:27,066 --> 00:33:28,568
We'll take 'em, right?
563
00:33:38,118 --> 00:33:41,414
Stand up. Check 'em out.
You're gonna love those shoes.
564
00:33:41,539 --> 00:33:42,874
Excuse me, do you have...
565
00:33:42,998 --> 00:33:44,751
Hey, Michael, what are you doing here?
566
00:33:47,503 --> 00:33:49,004
Oh, shit!
567
00:33:49,213 --> 00:33:50,256
Hi, Pat.
568
00:33:50,506 --> 00:33:52,007
Shit... Uh...
569
00:33:52,842 --> 00:33:54,093
Yeah.
570
00:33:54,260 --> 00:33:55,678
I, uh...
571
00:33:55,762 --> 00:33:57,597
Deborah's doing some shopping,
so I just thought I'd...
572
00:33:57,722 --> 00:34:00,600
Did you get my letter?
I was hoping to hear from you.
573
00:34:00,683 --> 00:34:02,727
Yeah, I was, uh...
574
00:34:03,811 --> 00:34:06,439
I'm sorry. I gotta go.
575
00:34:08,315 --> 00:34:10,109
Take care, Michael.
576
00:34:12,111 --> 00:34:13,487
Nice kicks.
577
00:34:16,616 --> 00:34:18,743
Sometimes it's hard for people.
578
00:34:18,826 --> 00:34:20,119
Michael.
579
00:34:20,787 --> 00:34:22,329
Michael! No!
580
00:34:22,496 --> 00:34:25,249
Sir. Ma'am. You need to pay for those.
581
00:34:28,168 --> 00:34:29,448
Attention, inmates,
582
00:34:29,462 --> 00:34:33,299
the pharmacy window
will be closing at 1530 hours.
583
00:34:35,134 --> 00:34:37,637
Hey. You wanted to see me?
584
00:34:37,720 --> 00:34:38,805
Yes, Chapman.
585
00:34:38,888 --> 00:34:41,557
Bravo dorms, assemble for visitation hall.
586
00:34:41,641 --> 00:34:44,977
We do not choose roommates around here.
587
00:34:45,102 --> 00:34:49,064
This type of hanky-panky
is against prison regulations.
588
00:34:49,148 --> 00:34:51,484
I warned you about this
when you first came in.
589
00:34:51,651 --> 00:34:54,528
I... I don't know what
you're talking about.
590
00:34:57,657 --> 00:35:02,495
Warren just informed me that you'd like
to be bunked together.
591
00:35:03,496 --> 00:35:04,914
Warren? Who is that?
592
00:35:08,292 --> 00:35:09,335
Crazy Eyes?
593
00:35:09,460 --> 00:35:12,713
This is not gonna fly around here.
Not on my watch.
594
00:35:13,255 --> 00:35:15,842
Lesbian request denied.
595
00:35:16,425 --> 00:35:18,511
Okay, wait! I had nothing to do with that!
596
00:35:18,636 --> 00:35:21,221
Believe me, the last thing I want
is to be anywhere near her.
597
00:35:21,347 --> 00:35:23,182
I've been trying to shake her for days.
598
00:35:23,349 --> 00:35:24,851
This didn't come from you?
599
00:35:25,017 --> 00:35:27,186
No! Absolutely not.
600
00:35:27,269 --> 00:35:29,897
Please don't put me with her. Please.
601
00:35:30,022 --> 00:35:33,734
I would like to stay
as far away from that as possible.
602
00:35:33,943 --> 00:35:36,320
I was hoping that that was the case.
603
00:35:37,864 --> 00:35:40,073
She is completely nuts.
604
00:35:40,199 --> 00:35:43,369
No, I know. I've had
trouble with her before.
605
00:35:43,494 --> 00:35:46,455
She's what we call a "stud,"
606
00:35:46,539 --> 00:35:49,041
which is very confusing
for a nice girl like you,
607
00:35:49,208 --> 00:35:52,378
because, let's be honest,
she looks like a man.
608
00:35:53,212 --> 00:35:55,882
If it were up to me,
I'd take all the butch ones
609
00:35:55,965 --> 00:35:57,800
and I'd put them in a "little boy's wing,"
610
00:35:57,884 --> 00:36:00,553
and I'd separate them from
the general community.
611
00:36:00,928 --> 00:36:05,224
Ran that up the ladder a couple of times,
got no traction at all.
612
00:36:06,893 --> 00:36:08,185
My advice?
613
00:36:10,229 --> 00:36:12,272
Let her down easy.
614
00:36:13,065 --> 00:36:17,444
She's volatile, that one.
She was removed from the puppy program.
615
00:36:19,947 --> 00:36:23,951
Lesbians can be very dangerous.
616
00:36:25,160 --> 00:36:27,162
It's the testosterone.
617
00:36:29,081 --> 00:36:33,002
They took my moisturizer, guys.
I had to walk through the airport barefoot.
618
00:36:33,293 --> 00:36:36,672
I mean, if Bush fucking wins again,
we're all moving to Berlin!
619
00:36:41,385 --> 00:36:44,471
Hey, you, Laura Ingalls Wilder.
620
00:36:45,556 --> 00:36:48,434
We're escaping America before
the apocalypse. Wanna come?
621
00:36:48,976 --> 00:36:50,269
Sorry?
622
00:36:50,436 --> 00:36:51,938
What can I get for you?
623
00:36:52,312 --> 00:36:54,065
Oh, hi, I was wondering if you're hiring?
624
00:36:55,274 --> 00:36:56,525
No, I'm sorry.
625
00:36:56,609 --> 00:36:57,944
Well, can I leave this with you?
626
00:36:58,069 --> 00:37:01,655
Honestly, it's just gonna end up
in a drawer somewhere, so...
627
00:37:02,740 --> 00:37:03,991
Okay.
628
00:37:04,366 --> 00:37:05,451
Well,
629
00:37:09,789 --> 00:37:11,290
can I have a margarita then?
630
00:37:12,041 --> 00:37:13,208
That I can do for you.
631
00:37:21,258 --> 00:37:24,136
It's a little cold out for a margarita,
don't you think?
632
00:37:26,639 --> 00:37:28,515
Let's see this.
633
00:37:29,516 --> 00:37:33,020
Steve's Greek Cuisine? Le Grand Fromage?
634
00:37:33,145 --> 00:37:34,605
Bullshit, bullshit.
635
00:37:34,688 --> 00:37:36,482
You need a lesson in fudging a resume.
636
00:37:36,565 --> 00:37:37,650
Do you work here?
637
00:37:37,775 --> 00:37:39,318
Are you fucking kidding me?
638
00:37:40,903 --> 00:37:42,780
Manager, Polly Harper.
639
00:37:44,073 --> 00:37:45,616
No one named Polly Harper
gets put in charge.
640
00:37:45,699 --> 00:37:46,742
Who is that really?
641
00:37:46,826 --> 00:37:48,494
It's my friend.
642
00:37:50,329 --> 00:37:52,832
You've never waited a fucking table
in your life, have you?
643
00:37:54,959 --> 00:37:56,168
No.
644
00:37:58,337 --> 00:38:00,673
So, Piper Chapman,
645
00:38:02,008 --> 00:38:07,013
"A Smith grad with excellent listening skills,
passionate about making diners feel good."
646
00:38:07,138 --> 00:38:09,181
Mmm. That sounds kind of dirty.
647
00:38:09,264 --> 00:38:11,017
You can put that on my tab.
648
00:38:11,350 --> 00:38:14,103
"Safe, clean, and careful
when handling food and drink."
649
00:38:15,395 --> 00:38:16,897
Oh, gosh.
650
00:38:17,023 --> 00:38:18,899
I like that in a woman.
651
00:38:21,234 --> 00:38:22,754
What else do I need to know about you?
652
00:38:24,697 --> 00:38:26,198
Who are you?
653
00:38:27,282 --> 00:38:28,868
My name is Alex.
654
00:38:31,162 --> 00:38:33,164
And what do you do, Alex?
655
00:38:34,206 --> 00:38:36,917
Besides make fun of strangers in bars?
656
00:38:37,043 --> 00:38:39,837
I work for an international drug cartel.
657
00:38:43,716 --> 00:38:46,343
Oh, come on. You telling me
you don't get lonely out here
658
00:38:46,886 --> 00:38:48,846
in the middle of nowhere?
659
00:38:48,929 --> 00:38:52,683
No, I'm not into people.
I'm more into beans.
660
00:38:52,766 --> 00:38:56,395
Did you see my long beans?
They're going off.
661
00:38:56,478 --> 00:38:58,313
And my banjo.
662
00:38:58,397 --> 00:39:01,859
Those are my friends,
my beans and my banjo.
663
00:39:02,068 --> 00:39:04,528
And I'm banging this underwater welder.
664
00:39:04,778 --> 00:39:05,946
Wow.
665
00:39:06,072 --> 00:39:07,740
You gotta have hobbies.
666
00:39:08,657 --> 00:39:09,700
What about you?
667
00:39:09,783 --> 00:39:12,244
What's happening with the writing?
No gigs?
668
00:39:12,327 --> 00:39:16,623
Been a little distracted.
Maybe you heard, my fiancée's in prison.
669
00:39:17,124 --> 00:39:20,335
Hey, when you visit,
do you get to, uh...
670
00:39:23,255 --> 00:39:25,549
No, they don't allow conjugals in federal.
671
00:39:26,092 --> 00:39:28,969
- It's a lot of me, myself and I.
- Bummer.
672
00:39:29,261 --> 00:39:30,262
Oh.
673
00:39:30,596 --> 00:39:31,931
You gotta try edging, man.
674
00:39:32,098 --> 00:39:33,306
What is that?
675
00:39:33,557 --> 00:39:37,436
It's where you jerk off, okay?
676
00:39:37,561 --> 00:39:39,897
Right to the point of orgasm
677
00:39:41,732 --> 00:39:43,067
and then stop.
678
00:39:44,193 --> 00:39:45,485
And you do this because...
679
00:39:45,611 --> 00:39:49,115
Because your jizz is your power, man.
It's spiritual, it keeps your Chi inside.
680
00:39:49,198 --> 00:39:51,117
Especially if you got writer's block.
681
00:39:51,242 --> 00:39:55,955
You gotta walk right up to that line, bro,
and not cross it.
682
00:39:56,288 --> 00:39:57,539
And this is something you do?
683
00:39:57,664 --> 00:39:58,624
Yeah. Welder chick taught me.
684
00:39:58,749 --> 00:40:03,212
See, you gotta, um... You gotta grab
right underneath your balls,
685
00:40:03,295 --> 00:40:05,505
like, right here, you really gotta
get up right up in there.
686
00:40:05,631 --> 00:40:06,673
Okay, yeah.
687
00:40:06,799 --> 00:40:08,508
And it creates, like, a whole body thing.
688
00:40:08,634 --> 00:40:10,261
Kind of like a female orgasm.
689
00:40:10,343 --> 00:40:12,179
You know, most dudes,
they don't know what women got,
690
00:40:12,304 --> 00:40:13,346
but trust me, bro,
691
00:40:13,597 --> 00:40:16,809
it is way, way better.
692
00:40:17,810 --> 00:40:19,519
A lot of creative people do it.
693
00:40:20,520 --> 00:40:23,649
In fact, they say
that John Lennon wrote Imagine
694
00:40:23,774 --> 00:40:25,484
right at that sweet spot.
695
00:40:32,992 --> 00:40:34,534
Fifteen months.
696
00:40:35,494 --> 00:40:39,081
Whoa. It's a long time to wait.
Even if it is for my sister.
697
00:40:39,165 --> 00:40:41,500
How about we don't talk about
sex with your sister?
698
00:40:41,625 --> 00:40:43,002
Good point.
699
00:40:46,338 --> 00:40:47,506
Did you see this coming?
700
00:40:47,631 --> 00:40:49,800
With Piper?
701
00:40:49,883 --> 00:40:54,180
No, no, not jail, but something, yeah.
702
00:40:56,640 --> 00:41:00,060
She wants to feel like she's different.
703
00:41:00,769 --> 00:41:03,563
Likes the whole "I'm risky" thing.
704
00:41:05,107 --> 00:41:06,984
My sister's a complicated cat.
705
00:41:08,694 --> 00:41:10,279
So I'm learning.
706
00:41:11,697 --> 00:41:13,866
Not like my parents ever saw it.
707
00:41:13,991 --> 00:41:16,409
Between "Perfect Piper"
and "Doctor Danny,"
708
00:41:16,535 --> 00:41:19,038
they met their quality parenting quota.
709
00:41:19,121 --> 00:41:23,000
But, like, I was free to smoke a bowl
and fuck off for the rest of my life
710
00:41:23,083 --> 00:41:25,211
with nobody ever bothering me.
711
00:41:25,294 --> 00:41:28,881
Now, my mom's talking about
coming up here to visit,
712
00:41:29,006 --> 00:41:30,924
putting me in the Christmas letter.
713
00:41:31,050 --> 00:41:33,552
Suddenly I'm "Creative Cal."
714
00:41:34,261 --> 00:41:35,637
It's fucked up.
715
00:41:39,808 --> 00:41:43,687
Piper going to jail might be, like, the
worst thing that has ever happened to me.
716
00:41:53,239 --> 00:41:55,366
Oh. Sophia!
717
00:41:55,448 --> 00:41:57,409
I got you a present.
718
00:41:57,534 --> 00:41:59,828
It's powder foundation in medium dark.
719
00:41:59,953 --> 00:42:01,914
I had to guess. I hope it's all right.
720
00:42:02,039 --> 00:42:05,167
Honey, it's perfect.
That's real sweet of you.
721
00:42:05,251 --> 00:42:06,585
Thank you.
722
00:42:06,752 --> 00:42:08,295
You're welcome.
723
00:42:12,758 --> 00:42:14,467
I got commissary.
724
00:42:14,593 --> 00:42:16,136
Look whose ship finally came in!
725
00:42:16,762 --> 00:42:17,930
Here.
726
00:42:18,055 --> 00:42:20,266
This is payback for all
the stuff you gave me.
727
00:42:21,350 --> 00:42:25,604
And, Nicky, here's your cup.
728
00:42:25,687 --> 00:42:26,772
Hmm.
729
00:42:27,189 --> 00:42:30,442
And, um, Nivea. That's interest.
730
00:42:30,567 --> 00:42:32,611
What else you got, kid?
I'll take that face wash.
731
00:42:32,736 --> 00:42:34,780
Don't be a commissary ho, DeMarco.
732
00:42:34,863 --> 00:42:38,284
And these... It's like Christmas!
733
00:42:39,618 --> 00:42:41,745
Yo, P, heads up. You got a visitor.
734
00:42:43,538 --> 00:42:45,124
Hello, baby.
735
00:42:46,875 --> 00:42:48,168
Can I talk to you?
736
00:42:49,295 --> 00:42:51,338
Inmate Peterson,
please return to the prison chapel.
737
00:42:55,968 --> 00:42:58,470
Listen, Suzanne.
738
00:42:59,471 --> 00:43:00,722
I, um...
739
00:43:01,514 --> 00:43:03,016
I know that you like me...
740
00:43:03,142 --> 00:43:05,602
I don't just like you, Piper.
741
00:43:05,685 --> 00:43:07,271
I got feelings.
742
00:43:08,230 --> 00:43:10,899
Love feelings.
743
00:43:11,608 --> 00:43:13,485
Yeah, I got that. Um...
744
00:43:15,362 --> 00:43:17,656
You know, maybe I was unclear,
745
00:43:17,781 --> 00:43:21,285
and I'm sorry if I gave you
the wrong impression,
746
00:43:24,079 --> 00:43:28,959
but I cannot be your wife.
747
00:43:29,042 --> 00:43:32,504
I've already promised
to be someone else's wife. Larry.
748
00:43:32,587 --> 00:43:35,007
Whom I love very much.
749
00:43:35,090 --> 00:43:38,135
And I'm just not interested
in anybody else.
750
00:43:38,218 --> 00:43:40,762
This is nothing personal.
751
00:43:40,846 --> 00:43:43,015
But you and I?
752
00:43:44,683 --> 00:43:46,185
Not gonna happen.
753
00:43:50,356 --> 00:43:51,690
I feel you.
754
00:43:59,156 --> 00:44:00,866
Where is he?
755
00:44:00,949 --> 00:44:03,369
He won't come. I tried.
756
00:44:04,203 --> 00:44:06,538
They let him pitch Friday.
757
00:44:06,663 --> 00:44:09,666
This big game against Castle Hill.
They won.
758
00:44:09,833 --> 00:44:11,668
That's great.
759
00:44:13,586 --> 00:44:15,130
You look like shit. What's wrong?
760
00:44:17,216 --> 00:44:18,717
They took me off my hormones.
761
00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:20,219
What, why?
762
00:44:20,344 --> 00:44:21,665
They're saying it's liver damage.
763
00:44:21,720 --> 00:44:24,473
It's bullshit. They just
don't wanna be liable.
764
00:44:24,597 --> 00:44:26,808
Oh, I'm sorry, baby.
765
00:44:27,017 --> 00:44:28,185
I'm losing my shit, Crystal.
766
00:44:28,268 --> 00:44:32,981
I didn't wanna have to ask you,
but I don't know what else to do.
767
00:44:37,486 --> 00:44:39,571
I need you to sneak 'em in.
768
00:44:43,742 --> 00:44:45,077
How?
769
00:44:46,703 --> 00:44:48,038
I don't know.
770
00:44:48,163 --> 00:44:49,915
You want me to shove 'em up my ass?
771
00:44:49,998 --> 00:44:51,750
Take 'em out in the bathroom? Then what?
772
00:44:51,833 --> 00:44:55,921
Put 'em in my mouth so I can kiss you?
Have you lost your fucking mind?
773
00:44:56,088 --> 00:44:57,672
It's crazy, I know.
774
00:44:57,797 --> 00:44:59,758
You want me to get locked up, too?
Oh, that's perfect.
775
00:44:59,841 --> 00:45:04,513
Yeah, Michael can go live with my mother,
who won't speak to me anymore at all.
776
00:45:04,595 --> 00:45:06,265
But you?
777
00:45:06,348 --> 00:45:10,727
Well, you'll have your smooth skin and your
lady curves, so it'll all be worth it.
778
00:45:10,936 --> 00:45:13,730
I shouldn't have asked. I'm sorry.
779
00:45:14,981 --> 00:45:19,194
I'm working two jobs,
I'm trying to raise our son.
780
00:45:19,278 --> 00:45:20,879
You know they trying to seize the house?
781
00:45:20,946 --> 00:45:22,739
They can't do that.
782
00:45:22,822 --> 00:45:26,285
I never paid any of our bills
with those stolen credit cards.
783
00:45:26,410 --> 00:45:28,954
I can't even show my face
in church anymore.
784
00:45:29,037 --> 00:45:30,456
I'm sorry.
785
00:45:30,621 --> 00:45:33,959
How fucking selfish can you be?
786
00:45:34,126 --> 00:45:36,878
Crystal, if they take this away from me,
787
00:45:37,837 --> 00:45:40,006
this will all have been for nothing.
788
00:45:46,388 --> 00:45:48,681
I married a man named Marcus.
789
00:45:51,059 --> 00:45:53,520
I cry for him all the time.
790
00:45:55,481 --> 00:45:58,484
But I stayed and I supported you
791
00:45:58,609 --> 00:46:01,278
because I could see
how much pain you were in.
792
00:46:02,653 --> 00:46:04,406
I know it was saving your life.
793
00:46:04,531 --> 00:46:05,949
It was.
794
00:46:06,074 --> 00:46:09,495
I figured better my kid had two moms
than a dead dad, right?
795
00:46:09,620 --> 00:46:14,958
At least he'd be around,
which is more than my father was.
796
00:46:16,876 --> 00:46:21,006
At least he'd be at his baseball games,
even if it was in a dress.
797
00:46:24,134 --> 00:46:25,676
So I put up with you becoming a woman,
798
00:46:25,802 --> 00:46:28,555
but I never signed on
for a life with a criminal.
799
00:46:30,474 --> 00:46:36,729
I'm gonna get my shit together. I promise.
I'm gonna make it up to you.
800
00:46:36,855 --> 00:46:38,315
Oh, you wanna make it up to me?
801
00:46:38,398 --> 00:46:40,567
Do your time.
802
00:46:41,568 --> 00:46:45,280
Get the fuck out of here,
so you can be a father to your son.
803
00:46:48,367 --> 00:46:49,868
Man up.
804
00:46:56,833 --> 00:46:58,043
What the fuck is this?
805
00:46:58,126 --> 00:47:00,045
We're reassigning you. Get your things.
806
00:47:00,170 --> 00:47:02,881
You fucking kidding me?
807
00:47:04,007 --> 00:47:05,258
You had me moved?
808
00:47:07,927 --> 00:47:09,388
Who's running this place?
809
00:47:09,471 --> 00:47:10,639
Not you.
810
00:47:10,721 --> 00:47:12,765
Shut your mouth and get your things.
811
00:47:14,351 --> 00:47:16,228
Watch yourself, little girl.
812
00:47:16,353 --> 00:47:18,313
This is not America,
813
00:47:19,565 --> 00:47:21,316
this is The Litch,
814
00:47:21,400 --> 00:47:23,902
and I've been here a long while.
815
00:48:01,147 --> 00:48:05,611
Inmate Stuart,
report to inmate work station two.
816
00:48:05,694 --> 00:48:07,613
Officer Roberts, guard
detail, central library.
817
00:48:08,779 --> 00:48:13,285
I'm in here at 5:00 just about every day.
You don't like it, avoid it.
818
00:48:17,706 --> 00:48:19,165
You named me.
819
00:48:19,291 --> 00:48:22,085
- What?
- You didn't have to take me down with you.
820
00:48:22,168 --> 00:48:23,462
Is that what all this is about?
821
00:48:23,587 --> 00:48:25,631
You think I turned you in?
822
00:48:25,756 --> 00:48:28,216
You haven't seen me in five years,
823
00:48:28,300 --> 00:48:31,136
you had no idea what was going on with me.
824
00:48:31,219 --> 00:48:33,263
I am a different person.
I was building a life...
825
00:48:33,346 --> 00:48:36,600
Oh, well, hurray for you.
It wasn't me, Piper.
826
00:48:36,683 --> 00:48:37,850
Bullshit!
827
00:48:37,976 --> 00:48:39,519
You never ever forgave me for leaving.
828
00:48:39,645 --> 00:48:40,845
Thirteen people were indicted.
829
00:48:40,853 --> 00:48:42,897
You met all of them. We traveled together.
830
00:48:42,981 --> 00:48:44,023
I know it was you.
831
00:48:44,149 --> 00:48:45,317
No, it wasn't!
832
00:48:45,400 --> 00:48:47,444
And fuck you for thinking it was!
833
00:48:47,527 --> 00:48:48,727
Right, what did they give you?
834
00:48:48,819 --> 00:48:51,339
Time off for every innocent person
that you threw under the bus?
835
00:48:51,448 --> 00:48:54,326
Innocent? That is fucking hilarious!
836
00:48:55,201 --> 00:48:57,828
You carried that bag.
No one had a gun to your head.
837
00:48:57,912 --> 00:49:02,083
Your fiancé might buy this bullshit,
but I know you.
838
00:49:03,502 --> 00:49:05,378
I know you.
839
00:49:06,630 --> 00:49:09,382
And there were no complaints
when I took you all over the world,
840
00:49:09,508 --> 00:49:11,301
but the second shit got real...
841
00:49:11,384 --> 00:49:12,511
You put me in danger.
842
00:49:12,594 --> 00:49:14,513
You loved it.
843
00:49:17,015 --> 00:49:20,644
You were just this boring
little girl from Connecticut,
844
00:49:20,727 --> 00:49:22,853
who wanted to feel special and bad.
845
00:49:22,979 --> 00:49:26,316
- Don't turn this around on me.
- I didn't name you.
846
00:49:26,399 --> 00:49:30,362
And, yeah, maybe I never forgave you
for leaving,
847
00:49:30,487 --> 00:49:33,699
because you broke my fucking heart.
848
00:49:33,824 --> 00:49:36,827
And maybe I've done a lot
of fucked up things in my life,
849
00:49:36,909 --> 00:49:39,037
but I've never lied to you.
850
00:49:40,413 --> 00:49:41,540
Ever.
851
00:49:54,052 --> 00:49:55,261
I'm stuck.
852
00:49:55,387 --> 00:49:59,474
I think my necklace is caught on my shirt
or in my hair or maybe both.
853
00:50:01,685 --> 00:50:02,935
So you want me to...
854
00:50:03,061 --> 00:50:04,895
Yeah. Yeah.
855
00:50:06,147 --> 00:50:07,566
Oh, man.
856
00:50:07,691 --> 00:50:09,776
Don't look at my belly.
857
00:50:10,068 --> 00:50:11,403
There.
858
00:50:13,029 --> 00:50:14,447
You're free.
859
00:50:15,114 --> 00:50:16,533
Yeah, right.
860
00:50:29,379 --> 00:50:31,297
- Hello?
- Hey, baby, it's me.
861
00:50:31,506 --> 00:50:35,009
Hey! How was the visit with your mom?
862
00:50:35,218 --> 00:50:37,512
Listen, Larry, I need you
to do something for me,
863
00:50:37,596 --> 00:50:38,597
and I don't wanna talk about it.
864
00:50:38,680 --> 00:50:41,725
I need you to find out if Alex Vause
named me at her trial.
865
00:50:41,932 --> 00:50:45,978
But wait, my dad said
the testimony was sealed.
866
00:50:46,104 --> 00:50:47,564
Why the sudden interest?
867
00:50:47,647 --> 00:50:51,818
I don't know. It's just eating at me.
I got a lot of time on my hands.
868
00:50:51,942 --> 00:50:55,363
Please, Larry. There's got to be a way.
Will you talk to him?
869
00:50:55,447 --> 00:50:59,242
Her name is Alex Vause. V-A-U-S-E.
870
00:51:00,118 --> 00:51:01,952
This is really important to me.
871
00:51:02,036 --> 00:51:03,663
Yeah, okay. But, um...
872
00:51:03,830 --> 00:51:05,164
And I don't wanna talk about it.
873
00:51:07,918 --> 00:51:10,545
And my mother told me that
my eggs are getting old.
874
00:51:14,965 --> 00:51:17,886
Chapman! Get your things together.
You're moving down to B dorm.
875
00:53:04,129 --> 00:51:19,679
Cube 18!
876
00:51:19,805 --> 00:51:21,139
That's the ghetto.
877
00:51:22,098 --> 00:51:23,224
What?
878
00:51:24,434 --> 00:51:25,936
They got you in the ghetto.
879
00:51:26,018 --> 00:51:28,814
Good luck, Chapman. You're gonna need it.
880
00:52:15,485 --> 00:52:18,446
That's your bed. These are your hooks.
881
00:52:19,364 --> 00:52:23,702
I am nobody's cleaning lady
and I make honor cube every week,
882
00:52:23,785 --> 00:52:26,036
so you do your part and then some.
883
00:52:26,162 --> 00:52:28,748
My floor's my pride,
884
00:52:28,874 --> 00:52:32,418
so no shoes,
leave them off before you step in.
885
00:52:32,627 --> 00:52:35,630
And I see that nonsense
go down in the cafeteria.
886
00:52:35,714 --> 00:52:37,423
I don't care if you're gay or what,
887
00:52:37,549 --> 00:52:40,969
but you bring any drama in here
and we'll have trouble.
888
00:52:41,051 --> 00:52:44,389
I don't tolerate foolishness in my bunk.
Understand?
889
00:52:54,357 --> 00:52:57,986
The following inmates have
prescriptions waiting in the infirmary...
890
00:53:11,207 --> 00:53:12,959
- You have the right to remain silent.
- I don't understand!
891
00:53:13,083 --> 00:53:14,836
- What's happening?
- Anything you say or do
892
00:53:14,920 --> 00:53:16,295
can and will be held against you
in a court of law.
893
00:53:16,421 --> 00:53:17,923
- You have the right to an attorney.
- What did you do?
894
00:53:18,048 --> 00:53:20,568
If you cannot afford an attorney,
one will be appointed for you.
895
00:53:20,592 --> 00:53:23,093
Do you understand these rights
as I just read 'em to you?
896
00:53:25,430 --> 00:53:26,598
Yes.
897
00:53:26,765 --> 00:53:29,475
With these rights in mind,
do you wish to speak to me?
898
00:53:35,398 --> 00:53:36,608
No.
899
00:53:41,029 --> 00:53:45,157
Officer Williams,
inmate services, station 2365.
900
00:53:45,283 --> 00:53:46,952
Hey, Burset!
901
00:53:57,378 --> 00:54:00,256
I heard you've been looking for something.
902
00:54:01,173 --> 00:54:03,301
Change your mind about
that Egg McMuffin?
903
00:54:05,428 --> 00:54:07,639
You've got the wrong girl.
904
00:55:08,601 --> 00:55:19,188
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com