1
00:00:02,651 --> 00:00:04,653
(THEME SONG PLAYING)

2
00:00:59,699 --> 00:01:10,251
<font color="#ec14bd">Sync & corrections by honeybunny</font>
<font color="#ec14bd">www.addic7ed.com</font>

3
00:01:13,598 --> 00:01:15,266
(FEEDBACK SQUEALS)

4
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BELL: "In a world filled with
hate, we must still dare to hope.

5
00:01:20,563 --> 00:01:24,400
"In a world filled with despair,
we must still dare to dream."

6
00:01:25,443 --> 00:01:28,363
Words from the late,
great Michael Jackson.

7
00:01:28,904 --> 00:01:31,199
Chapel will open at 8:00.

8
00:01:31,533 --> 00:01:35,786
Today's order of services
is Catholic, Evangelical,

9
00:01:35,911 --> 00:01:39,541
Wiccan, Baptist,
other, and Muslim.

10
00:01:39,624 --> 00:01:41,292
Enjoy your Sunday.

11
00:01:51,844 --> 00:01:54,055
(MELLOW SONG PLAYING)

12
00:02:11,197 --> 00:02:14,367
You didn't eat breakfast. Most
important meal of the day.

13
00:02:16,077 --> 00:02:17,579
Start your engine right.

14
00:02:17,662 --> 00:02:18,663
Thanks. I'll, uh...

15
00:02:21,082 --> 00:02:22,083
Thanks.

16
00:02:22,417 --> 00:02:24,627
Fine. Run on fumes.

17
00:02:26,295 --> 00:02:27,838
I'm doing the
4-Hour Body.

18
00:02:28,339 --> 00:02:29,757
I don't know what that is.

19
00:02:29,882 --> 00:02:32,552
Oh, you'll see.
You'll see.

20
00:02:33,052 --> 00:02:35,346
Okay. Good luck
with that.

21
00:03:20,141 --> 00:03:22,143
(CLUCKING)

22
00:03:34,489 --> 00:03:36,157
LORNA: Come closer!

23
00:03:36,282 --> 00:03:39,952
Oh! Fuck me! God!

24
00:03:41,329 --> 00:03:43,080
I could get it.
Fucking come.

25
00:03:43,164 --> 00:03:44,457
(SQUEALING)

26
00:03:44,540 --> 00:03:47,376
Yes! Yeah! Yeah!
You fucking skank!

27
00:03:49,671 --> 00:03:50,630
Yeah!

28
00:03:50,713 --> 00:03:52,006
(MOANING)

29
00:03:54,342 --> 00:03:55,426
Finally!

30
00:03:56,093 --> 00:03:59,597
Man, look how buff my left arm
looks just from grabbling you.

31
00:04:01,766 --> 00:04:03,142
Nichols, we gotta stop.

32
00:04:03,225 --> 00:04:04,268
No, we can't.

33
00:04:04,352 --> 00:04:05,592
I gotta work out
the other side.

34
00:04:05,687 --> 00:04:08,606
Otherwise I'll be asymmetrical
like a crab, or a tennis pro.

35
00:04:08,690 --> 00:04:11,484
No, no, no.
No more. I'm engaged.

36
00:04:11,567 --> 00:04:13,152
Yeah, that's right.

37
00:04:14,111 --> 00:04:15,363
Get it while you can.

38
00:04:15,446 --> 00:04:17,740
No! No, it's not
fair to Christopher.

39
00:04:17,865 --> 00:04:19,826
And I need to
start tightening up.

40
00:04:19,908 --> 00:04:21,869
You're making me
feel like a cave.

41
00:04:21,994 --> 00:04:25,289
Baby, it's a cunt.
Huh? It stretches.

42
00:04:25,498 --> 00:04:27,875
Yeah, sometimes I feel like you're
trying to climb inside my womb.

43
00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:29,877
What can I say,
I've got mommy issues.

44
00:04:30,002 --> 00:04:32,880
Well, I don't want
to do it anymore.

45
00:04:33,005 --> 00:04:34,882
This was the last time.

46
00:04:37,218 --> 00:04:40,555
All right. Yeah, it's cool. Just at
least get me off first, all right?

47
00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:42,515
That's not very classy.

48
00:04:42,598 --> 00:04:44,392
We're having sex
in a fucking chapel.

49
00:04:44,517 --> 00:04:45,997
Come on, you wanna
give me blue balls?

50
00:04:46,227 --> 00:04:47,729
PENNSATUCKY: It's not fair.
I wake up every day and I...

51
00:04:47,854 --> 00:04:49,188
Fuck!
Shit!

52
00:04:53,150 --> 00:04:55,903
I thought you said the service
wasn't for another half hour.

53
00:04:56,028 --> 00:04:57,655
It was. You take
too long to come.

54
00:04:57,739 --> 00:05:01,409
Chaplain, the Jews never put
the markers back in the box.

55
00:05:01,534 --> 00:05:03,703
So write to your Congressman.

56
00:05:03,786 --> 00:05:05,162
What if he's a Jewish?

57
00:05:05,246 --> 00:05:09,834
There is one art cabinet for
everyone and you have to share.

58
00:05:09,917 --> 00:05:13,671
Now, if you please, we need
to get ready for mass.

59
00:05:13,755 --> 00:05:16,340
Sister? The candles.
Yes.

60
00:05:17,091 --> 00:05:18,593
My service is coming up.

61
00:05:18,718 --> 00:05:20,428
I wanna hang up my decoration.

62
00:05:20,553 --> 00:05:21,637
Your decoration?

63
00:05:22,304 --> 00:05:25,558
Yep. Look at it.
I made it in the shop.

64
00:05:26,141 --> 00:05:27,727
Except for it's not
done on account that

65
00:05:27,852 --> 00:05:29,492
I ran out of glow-in-the-dark
paint, but...

66
00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:30,937
Doggett, get it out of here.

67
00:05:31,063 --> 00:05:32,440
What? Why?

68
00:05:32,565 --> 00:05:34,941
You know why. I have
explained it to you.

69
00:05:35,067 --> 00:05:37,820
It's not iconography,
it's a cross.

70
00:05:37,944 --> 00:05:39,280
Nothing goes on the walls

71
00:05:39,405 --> 00:05:42,991
that can't be taken down
before the next service.

72
00:05:43,117 --> 00:05:44,368
It's gonna glow in the dark.

73
00:05:44,493 --> 00:05:46,746
Now, Doggett!

74
00:05:47,872 --> 00:05:49,123
You know what? Fine.

75
00:05:49,791 --> 00:05:51,375
That's just fine.

76
00:05:54,879 --> 00:05:56,963
It ain't right,
and you know it.

77
00:05:57,047 --> 00:05:59,675
Well, this chapel is
not just for Christians.

78
00:05:59,801 --> 00:06:03,220
(SCOFFING) Yeah. I'm sure if I was a
Catholic, you would be much different.

79
00:06:03,304 --> 00:06:04,388
That's not true.

80
00:06:04,472 --> 00:06:05,972
Yep. It's very true.

81
00:06:06,098 --> 00:06:08,643
'Cause you and that Pope's
bitch are running this place!

82
00:06:09,310 --> 00:06:11,771
I like to think of myself
as more of the Pope's homie.

83
00:06:11,854 --> 00:06:13,689
PENNSATUCKY: You know what?

84
00:06:13,980 --> 00:06:17,735
You treat everybody here better than me.
Even those witch ladies.

85
00:06:17,819 --> 00:06:19,445
Also not true.

86
00:06:19,528 --> 00:06:22,114
No, it is true. You let... You
take them for walks and you...

87
00:06:22,197 --> 00:06:26,452
As I would take you if your faith
required communion with nature.

88
00:06:26,535 --> 00:06:28,496
I don't want to walk! Okay?

89
00:06:28,621 --> 00:06:31,206
I'm gonna hang this damn cross!

90
00:06:31,332 --> 00:06:34,585
'Cause it's my religious freedom
and you're violating it!

91
00:06:39,507 --> 00:06:40,508
BIG BOO: You could sue.

92
00:06:40,675 --> 00:06:43,218
I heard about this
tranny in Massachusetts.

93
00:06:43,344 --> 00:06:45,930
State paid for
her whole hoo-ha.

94
00:06:46,012 --> 00:06:47,598
I don't need them
to pay for the car.

95
00:06:47,723 --> 00:06:49,308
I just need them
to buy the oil.

96
00:06:49,433 --> 00:06:50,768
(CHUCKLES)

97
00:06:51,894 --> 00:06:56,231
What exactly is going on with you anyway?
Is it like menopause?

98
00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:58,442
Same idea.
Not enough lady juice.

99
00:06:58,526 --> 00:07:01,403
Skin gets loose, tits get saggy.
Hulk get angry.

100
00:07:01,529 --> 00:07:03,489
Oh, God! Do not do that!

101
00:07:03,572 --> 00:07:04,657
(CHUCKLING)

102
00:07:04,740 --> 00:07:06,033
Jesus.

103
00:07:06,868 --> 00:07:07,869
I know what you can do.

104
00:07:07,994 --> 00:07:11,205
You find an old lady lifer
and you bum her estrogen.

105
00:07:11,413 --> 00:07:14,458
You think the Fed gives a shit
about a felon's hot flashes?

106
00:07:14,542 --> 00:07:16,210
None of that gets covered.

107
00:07:16,293 --> 00:07:19,129
Nun gets it. I'm on
the pill line with her.

108
00:07:19,463 --> 00:07:22,049
Bullshit. It's probably
just anti-depressants.

109
00:07:22,216 --> 00:07:25,761
Oh, really? Ever heard of
an SSRI called Gynotab?

110
00:07:27,930 --> 00:07:31,726
Ow! What the fuck?
Girl, you pulled my hair!

111
00:07:31,851 --> 00:07:33,060
WOMAN OVER PA:
Any available CO

112
00:07:33,185 --> 00:07:34,353
to outer gate for
inmate transfer.

113
00:07:34,436 --> 00:07:37,157
You don't fucking talk to me, but you
want me to thread your eyebrows?

114
00:07:37,231 --> 00:07:39,025
Nobody else can do them right.

115
00:07:39,107 --> 00:07:42,904
Besides, we're family. We fight,
but we do shit for each other.

116
00:07:43,195 --> 00:07:44,822
You gonna let me play dominos?

117
00:07:45,656 --> 00:07:47,115
You can keep score.

118
00:07:48,409 --> 00:07:49,660
You got some thread?

119
00:07:51,245 --> 00:07:53,497
MAN OVER PA:
All personnel, 10-21 Jasmine.

120
00:07:54,623 --> 00:07:57,585
Here. Go find Gloria,
see if she'll trade with you.

121
00:07:57,710 --> 00:07:59,511
If not, I'll pull some
threads from my jacket.

122
00:08:00,254 --> 00:08:01,255
All right.

123
00:08:04,508 --> 00:08:06,134
Hey. What are you doing?

124
00:08:06,552 --> 00:08:07,553
Trading corn.

125
00:08:07,929 --> 00:08:09,329
Inmates aren't
authorized to barter.

126
00:08:09,430 --> 00:08:11,098
What the fuck is "barter"?
Trade.

127
00:08:11,181 --> 00:08:12,433
Oh, come on. Everybody trades...
Hey!

128
00:08:12,558 --> 00:08:14,101
You want to get written up?
Is that what you want?

129
00:08:14,268 --> 00:08:15,436
What do you want from me?

130
00:08:15,561 --> 00:08:19,356
What do I want?
Less attitude! You got that?

131
00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:22,443
You're not in charge here.
I am.

132
00:08:23,069 --> 00:08:24,236
Now give me the corn.

133
00:08:24,361 --> 00:08:25,529
Yes, sir.

134
00:08:28,407 --> 00:08:30,284
Damn, y'all saw that?

135
00:08:31,243 --> 00:08:33,955
He fucking took my corn!

136
00:08:42,630 --> 00:08:46,008
WOMAN ON TV: Come on down to the
hottest spot south of Havana!

137
00:08:46,133 --> 00:08:48,427
Brazil's Copacabana Beach.

138
00:08:48,510 --> 00:08:50,220
But I would be careful.

139
00:08:50,304 --> 00:08:53,515
Some of the most beautiful
places along the beach are...

140
00:09:01,023 --> 00:09:02,066
Whatcha making?

141
00:09:02,149 --> 00:09:04,276
I'm knitting.
Oh.

142
00:09:07,237 --> 00:09:09,364
I'm sorry, do I smell?

143
00:09:09,490 --> 00:09:13,119
No, she's just in the zone.
How's your Sunday?

144
00:09:13,201 --> 00:09:15,830
Pretty nice so far.
I was outside.

145
00:09:16,122 --> 00:09:19,333
It is beautiful up
here in the fall.

146
00:09:19,792 --> 00:09:21,168
Oh, yeah, sure.

147
00:09:21,251 --> 00:09:24,839
I got myself incarcerated just so
I could see the changing colors.

148
00:09:24,922 --> 00:09:27,842
I'm serious. I think I
need to be outside more.

149
00:09:27,925 --> 00:09:29,176
Weren't you cold?

150
00:09:29,301 --> 00:09:30,845
A little.
But it was lovely.

151
00:09:30,928 --> 00:09:32,972
I had my tea,
it was almost hot.

152
00:09:33,055 --> 00:09:35,016
I had my book,
it was almost good.

153
00:09:35,099 --> 00:09:36,767
And I saw a chicken.

154
00:09:38,019 --> 00:09:39,353
How random is that?

155
00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:47,361
What? What?

156
00:09:50,114 --> 00:09:52,491
You saw a chicken? Like, a real
live chicken in the flesh?

157
00:09:52,574 --> 00:09:55,410
Well, it was covered
in feathers, but...

158
00:09:57,746 --> 00:09:58,873
(SIGHING)

159
00:10:03,627 --> 00:10:04,753
What's going on?

160
00:10:04,879 --> 00:10:06,213
You need to talk to Red.

161
00:10:07,006 --> 00:10:08,090
About what?

162
00:10:08,215 --> 00:10:09,842
You just need to talk to her.

163
00:10:13,220 --> 00:10:15,890
WOMAN OVER PA: CO to Main
Control for a shift briefing.

164
00:10:34,742 --> 00:10:36,911
Dayanara!
I unclogged the toilet.

165
00:10:37,036 --> 00:10:38,871
There was a Barbie in it.

166
00:10:39,914 --> 00:10:40,873
Eva?

167
00:10:40,956 --> 00:10:43,625
What? Barbie wanted
to go scuba diving!

168
00:10:46,087 --> 00:10:48,005
Ow, Mommy! Help me!
Aah!

169
00:10:48,089 --> 00:10:49,924
Sucio! Get your caqui fingers off me.
Dios mio!

170
00:10:50,049 --> 00:10:51,926
She's gonna hit me!

171
00:10:52,426 --> 00:10:53,594
You trying to hit your sister?

172
00:10:53,719 --> 00:10:55,846
She flushed a Barbie
down the toilet!

173
00:10:58,265 --> 00:10:59,975
The Barbie Cesar bought you?

174
00:11:01,518 --> 00:11:03,604
You think Barbies
grow on trees?

175
00:11:03,729 --> 00:11:06,314
You think toilets
grow on trees? Huh?

176
00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:07,441
No.

177
00:11:07,524 --> 00:11:09,484
What grows on trees?
Nothing.

178
00:11:09,610 --> 00:11:12,613
That's right! You need to
look after them better.

179
00:11:12,738 --> 00:11:13,781
How about you?

180
00:11:13,948 --> 00:11:15,032
I got better things to do.

181
00:11:15,616 --> 00:11:19,578
Get them a pizza if they're hungry.
I'm eating oysters, bitches.

182
00:11:20,246 --> 00:11:21,496
Whatever.

183
00:11:33,092 --> 00:11:34,176
I want oysters.

184
00:11:34,300 --> 00:11:35,469
No, you don't.

185
00:11:36,262 --> 00:11:40,099
You're sure it was a chicken?
Not a pigeon?

186
00:11:40,182 --> 00:11:41,225
No.

187
00:11:41,809 --> 00:11:43,811
What about
a quail or a pheasant?

188
00:11:43,894 --> 00:11:45,187
Spruce grouse?

189
00:11:45,311 --> 00:11:46,354
American bald eagle?

190
00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:48,983
It was a chicken. I know
what a chicken looks like.

191
00:11:49,108 --> 00:11:51,610
I don't...
What's the big deal?

192
00:11:54,029 --> 00:11:58,284
There are no chickens around here.
Except for one.

193
00:11:58,366 --> 00:12:00,535
They say she lived
on a farm near here.

194
00:12:00,661 --> 00:12:03,289
Till one night,
the night before

195
00:12:03,371 --> 00:12:06,000
all the other chickens
were slaughtered,

196
00:12:07,501 --> 00:12:09,170
she escaped.

197
00:12:09,878 --> 00:12:13,841
She's been out there ever
since, living off the land.

198
00:12:14,716 --> 00:12:16,342
Living on her wits.

199
00:12:16,468 --> 00:12:18,679
Hey, what's going on?

200
00:12:18,762 --> 00:12:19,888
The chicken's back.

201
00:12:20,181 --> 00:12:23,684
Oh, give me a break.
Mom, there is no chicken.

202
00:12:23,809 --> 00:12:26,728
You're wrong!
She saw it.

203
00:12:26,854 --> 00:12:28,272
Oh, really?
Mmm-hmm.

204
00:12:28,354 --> 00:12:29,815
How'd it get over the fence?

205
00:12:29,940 --> 00:12:31,357
I don't know. It flew?

206
00:12:31,483 --> 00:12:34,486
Chickens don't fly. It was
probably a spruce grouse.

207
00:12:34,569 --> 00:12:38,032
No, it was her.
I saw it in a dream.

208
00:12:39,365 --> 00:12:40,617
Goodbye.

209
00:12:42,119 --> 00:12:45,539
She came to me,
already dressed in herbs,

210
00:12:45,622 --> 00:12:49,375
and a little top hat,
black, tilted to one side.

211
00:12:49,501 --> 00:12:52,921
And she said, "Soon, Red,
we will be together.

212
00:12:53,047 --> 00:12:55,257
"Soon I will be yours."

213
00:12:55,381 --> 00:12:57,259
No more processed chicken

214
00:12:57,383 --> 00:13:01,305
that looks like a hockey puck
and tastes like wet paper.

215
00:13:02,139 --> 00:13:04,808
Real chicken Kiev.

216
00:13:08,145 --> 00:13:11,065
First girl to bag that bird

217
00:13:11,148 --> 00:13:14,235
gets a box of Biore strips.

218
00:13:17,529 --> 00:13:18,572
Me, too?

219
00:13:20,241 --> 00:13:21,992
Yes. You, too.

220
00:13:22,076 --> 00:13:23,702
You did good
bringing this to me.

221
00:13:24,912 --> 00:13:27,748
Maybe you're not as
useless as I thought.

222
00:13:32,711 --> 00:13:34,838
Sister Ingalls.
How was your service?

223
00:13:34,922 --> 00:13:36,924
Oh, fine. Thank you
for asking. Uh...

224
00:13:37,049 --> 00:13:38,926
Sophia. Sophia. That's right.

225
00:13:39,009 --> 00:13:40,468
What was your sermon about?

226
00:13:40,594 --> 00:13:43,097
Oh, I don't give sermons.
I'm not a priest.

227
00:13:43,180 --> 00:13:46,392
But we did have a good group
discussion about overcoming sin.

228
00:13:46,474 --> 00:13:47,893
Oh, I'm sorry I missed that.

229
00:13:47,976 --> 00:13:49,477
Really?
Are you Catholic?

230
00:13:49,603 --> 00:13:53,607
No! But... Well, I think a
lot about overcoming sin.

231
00:13:54,108 --> 00:13:56,360
And I just love Jesus Christ.

232
00:13:56,442 --> 00:14:00,239
And I've always wanted to try
one of those communion wafers.

233
00:14:00,322 --> 00:14:02,324
Well, I have a box
of a thousand.

234
00:14:02,448 --> 00:14:04,450
They're not as fresh as the
ones you get outside of prison,

235
00:14:04,534 --> 00:14:05,619
but they're good with dip.

236
00:14:05,786 --> 00:14:07,121
(LAUGHING)

237
00:14:07,246 --> 00:14:09,164
Oh, I forgot my hat.

238
00:14:09,290 --> 00:14:10,291
Mind if I come with you?

239
00:14:10,456 --> 00:14:11,458
Not at all.

240
00:14:11,541 --> 00:14:13,919
PENNSATUCKY: Okay,
higher. Higher.

241
00:14:14,002 --> 00:14:15,921
Yep, higher. Nope, wait!

242
00:14:16,004 --> 00:14:18,090
No! To... Okay, now to...

243
00:14:18,715 --> 00:14:21,302
Look, that doesn't look
centered to me, it just...

244
00:14:21,427 --> 00:14:22,970
Excuse me!

245
00:14:23,595 --> 00:14:26,598
Oh, hey, Sister. Ain't
your time through here?

246
00:14:26,681 --> 00:14:27,975
I thought you weren't
allowed to put that up.

247
00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:29,101
No?

248
00:14:29,310 --> 00:14:32,146
That's what the chaplain
told you this morning.

249
00:14:32,271 --> 00:14:33,355
Oh, yeah, that's right.

250
00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:35,857
You're the little church mouse
that lives in her pocket.

251
00:14:36,275 --> 00:14:37,692
Well, I live in God's pocket.

252
00:14:37,818 --> 00:14:39,619
And she said I couldn't
put it up on the walls,

253
00:14:39,694 --> 00:14:40,946
but she didn't say
I couldn't hang it

254
00:14:41,071 --> 00:14:42,392
from the ceiling,
all right? So...

255
00:14:42,448 --> 00:14:44,032
That's not
a load-bearing pipe.

256
00:14:44,158 --> 00:14:47,035
What do you know about a
load-bearing pipe, lady man?

257
00:14:47,619 --> 00:14:49,288
I think I just told you.

258
00:14:49,413 --> 00:14:50,998
Please.
I'll just get my hat.

259
00:14:51,123 --> 00:14:53,167
It's not my business.
I don't want any trouble.

260
00:14:53,292 --> 00:14:55,252
Trouble? There's not gonna
be any trouble, okay?

261
00:14:55,336 --> 00:14:57,129
This is beautiful.

262
00:14:57,212 --> 00:15:01,008
All right? It's our right as
Americans to religious freedom.

263
00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:03,320
Ain't you heard of
the Third Amendment?

264
00:15:03,344 --> 00:15:06,472
Soldiers should not be given quarter
in a house in times of peace?

265
00:15:06,554 --> 00:15:08,314
Is that really what
the Third Amendment says?

266
00:15:08,349 --> 00:15:09,557
I never knew that.

267
00:15:09,683 --> 00:15:10,684
Can you stay out of it?

268
00:15:10,767 --> 00:15:12,019
(PIPE SNAPPING)
(GASPS)

269
00:15:13,770 --> 00:15:15,939
Oh, damn it, Tucky.
I can't go back to seg.

270
00:15:33,623 --> 00:15:36,418
God has chosen to
test our conviction.

271
00:15:40,755 --> 00:15:43,633
So Red's okay with me because
I saw this chicken, I guess.

272
00:15:43,717 --> 00:15:45,552
And she said I wasn't useless.

273
00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:47,804
Wow.

274
00:15:47,888 --> 00:15:49,014
Good.

275
00:15:49,639 --> 00:15:53,727
So that's the big
news in my small world.

276
00:15:53,894 --> 00:15:55,020
Um...

277
00:15:56,604 --> 00:15:58,857
What's happening with Barney's?
Did you talk to Weiner?

278
00:15:58,940 --> 00:16:02,444
Yes, I have.
Actually, there is...

279
00:16:02,652 --> 00:16:05,572
Oh, well, it's funny,
but there's a problem.

280
00:16:06,073 --> 00:16:07,115
What?

281
00:16:07,241 --> 00:16:09,117
They have concerns
about our ability to

282
00:16:09,243 --> 00:16:11,119
produce since we
still don't have a space.

283
00:16:11,245 --> 00:16:12,913
You told them that?
They don't need to know that.

284
00:16:12,996 --> 00:16:14,077
Why did you tell them that?

285
00:16:14,498 --> 00:16:15,916
I don't know,
because they asked?

286
00:16:17,501 --> 00:16:19,586
I'm sorry, should I
have texted you first?

287
00:16:20,212 --> 00:16:21,612
We don't have
an official order yet.

288
00:16:21,629 --> 00:16:22,990
They could take
us off the shelves.

289
00:16:23,048 --> 00:16:26,593
Well, you know, I was thinking maybe
that wouldn't be such a bad idea.

290
00:16:28,929 --> 00:16:30,097
Excuse me?

291
00:16:30,180 --> 00:16:33,475
I mean, maybe it's not the best
time to expand our business.

292
00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:35,685
Polly, I quit my job for this.

293
00:16:35,769 --> 00:16:37,604
And then you went to prison.

294
00:16:37,687 --> 00:16:39,727
If I'd known you wouldn't
be around to handle things,

295
00:16:39,773 --> 00:16:41,816
I would have delayed the
baby and gotten a puppy.

296
00:16:41,942 --> 00:16:46,780
But I'm the size of Venus and
allergic to dogs, so... Fuck it.

297
00:16:46,905 --> 00:16:48,282
Polly, we were counting
on the extra income.

298
00:16:48,407 --> 00:16:49,783
Please, like you even pay rent.

299
00:16:49,908 --> 00:16:51,285
I pay rent. Who told
you I don't pay rent?

300
00:16:51,410 --> 00:16:54,496
Polly, I know that you're having
a baby, but what about our baby?

301
00:16:54,580 --> 00:16:55,789
What about Baby Poppy?

302
00:16:55,956 --> 00:16:59,667
What if Piper talks to Weiner? You
have more of a rapport, right?

303
00:16:59,793 --> 00:17:01,587
Yes! She likes me!

304
00:17:01,669 --> 00:17:04,298
So, should I see if she'll
drive up with us next week?

305
00:17:04,381 --> 00:17:07,468
No. We can set up a call.

306
00:17:07,551 --> 00:17:09,970
I'll call you, and then
the recording about it

307
00:17:10,053 --> 00:17:11,721
being a call from
prison will play,

308
00:17:11,805 --> 00:17:14,558
and then you can call
her from your phone,

309
00:17:14,641 --> 00:17:17,144
conference her in,
and I can talk to her.

310
00:17:19,605 --> 00:17:20,730
Please?

311
00:17:20,814 --> 00:17:22,065
Two minute warning.
Two minutes.

312
00:17:22,149 --> 00:17:23,317
(PEOPLE EXCLAIM
IN DISAPPOINTMENT)

313
00:17:23,442 --> 00:17:25,152
What? Jesus, they don't
give you any time.

314
00:17:25,277 --> 00:17:27,904
I know. Honey, have you talked
to your dad about Alex?

315
00:17:28,905 --> 00:17:31,116
No, I... Not yet. I will...

316
00:17:31,199 --> 00:17:32,493
Faster, please. Come on.
Okay, well,

317
00:17:32,576 --> 00:17:34,661
I'll ask him about it when
I see him later this week.

318
00:17:34,911 --> 00:17:36,204
Ask him what?

319
00:17:36,580 --> 00:17:39,458
To look over the indictment. To
see if Alex really named her.

320
00:17:39,541 --> 00:17:41,960
Of course she named me.
It's so obvious.

321
00:17:42,043 --> 00:17:43,753
Then why does his
dad need to check?

322
00:17:43,878 --> 00:17:48,800
So I can shove it in her smug,
lying, fucking lying, fucking face.

323
00:17:49,968 --> 00:17:51,345
I know she's lying.

324
00:17:53,347 --> 00:17:56,433
Hold up. What, she's in
here with you? Oh...

325
00:17:58,852 --> 00:17:59,811
Yes.

326
00:17:59,894 --> 00:18:01,313
Why didn't you tell me?

327
00:18:01,396 --> 00:18:02,523
Oh.

328
00:18:02,648 --> 00:18:06,943
You lied to me?
Honey, I didn't lie to you.

329
00:18:07,027 --> 00:18:10,030
I just failed to mention.
I didn't want you to worry.

330
00:18:10,155 --> 00:18:11,365
Worry? Worry about what?

331
00:18:11,490 --> 00:18:12,699
That she'd turn gay again.

332
00:18:13,450 --> 00:18:16,578
Whoa. That's not happening.
And you don't just turn gay.

333
00:18:16,703 --> 00:18:18,664
You fall somewhere on a spectrum.
Like, on a Kinsey scale.

334
00:18:18,746 --> 00:18:19,706
Okay.

335
00:18:19,831 --> 00:18:20,874
(STUTTERS)

336
00:18:20,957 --> 00:18:23,877
Besides, she is the last person
around here that I'd sleep with.

337
00:18:24,002 --> 00:18:25,003
Who's the first?

338
00:18:25,086 --> 00:18:26,087
See? I didn't mean that.

339
00:18:26,213 --> 00:18:27,714
I didn't mean that. I just...

340
00:18:27,797 --> 00:18:29,216
This is exactly why I
didn't want to tell you.

341
00:18:29,299 --> 00:18:32,010
Because I knew that you would do this.
What are you afraid of?

342
00:18:32,093 --> 00:18:34,471
That I'm going to do something?

343
00:18:34,555 --> 00:18:35,681
Gay?

344
00:18:35,763 --> 00:18:38,433
I wasn't before,
until you lied. Now I'm...

345
00:18:38,559 --> 00:18:40,768
Now I'm wondering if maybe
you're worried you will.

346
00:18:40,894 --> 00:18:42,521
Ah. Classic projection.

347
00:18:42,604 --> 00:18:43,730
Polly, don't help.

348
00:18:50,195 --> 00:18:51,405
(SIGHS)

349
00:19:16,346 --> 00:19:20,183
PORNSTACHE: Not only
is the ceiling ripped open.

350
00:19:21,893 --> 00:19:26,607
Not only is the chapel
covered in asbestos,

351
00:19:27,857 --> 00:19:31,278
rat shit, God knows what.

352
00:19:31,403 --> 00:19:32,446
Toxic mold.

353
00:19:32,529 --> 00:19:33,572
Toxic mold.

354
00:19:34,114 --> 00:19:40,287
But, surprise, surprise, our
electrical line has been compromised.

355
00:19:40,704 --> 00:19:42,956
We have to run new electrical.

356
00:19:44,416 --> 00:19:48,670
Officer Luschek,
is running new electrical

357
00:19:48,795 --> 00:19:51,298
something that you
feel particularly

358
00:19:51,423 --> 00:19:53,883
excited about doing
on a fucking Monday?

359
00:19:53,967 --> 00:19:54,968
Nope.

360
00:19:55,051 --> 00:19:56,052
Hell nope.

361
00:19:57,178 --> 00:20:00,599
You ought to be relaxing
after an exhausting weekend of

362
00:20:00,682 --> 00:20:03,477
prostate stimulation
and blow-up fuck dolls.

363
00:20:05,479 --> 00:20:06,896
But instead,

364
00:20:07,855 --> 00:20:12,986
thanks to this missed
opportunity for cradle death,

365
00:20:14,154 --> 00:20:15,947
you're here with me.

366
00:20:17,282 --> 00:20:19,409
And all these
other shit-birds.

367
00:20:22,912 --> 00:20:25,915
And all this shit.

368
00:20:25,999 --> 00:20:28,084
Man, why she ain't in SHU?

369
00:20:28,335 --> 00:20:30,420
Janae got sent to
SHU just for talking.

370
00:20:30,504 --> 00:20:31,879
Quiet, or you'll go with her.

371
00:20:32,255 --> 00:20:35,133
It weren't my fault. I was just
doing as the Spirit commanded.

372
00:20:35,216 --> 00:20:36,718
Fuck are you, Joan of Arc?

373
00:20:37,803 --> 00:20:40,472
No. I'm from Waynesboro.
My name is Tiffany...

374
00:20:40,555 --> 00:20:42,265
She knows what
your fucking name is!

375
00:20:43,517 --> 00:20:45,059
And you guys can kill each
other on your own time.

376
00:20:45,185 --> 00:20:48,605
Hey, Bennett, grab some retards
and go start the demo.

377
00:20:49,272 --> 00:20:50,524
Excuse me.

378
00:20:50,649 --> 00:20:51,858
Yes?

379
00:20:52,609 --> 00:20:53,943
Could we get some masks?

380
00:20:54,027 --> 00:20:55,111
(LAUGHS)

381
00:20:55,195 --> 00:20:58,365
For the mold.
And the rat shit dust.

382
00:21:06,832 --> 00:21:08,041
Bennett, go see if you can find

383
00:21:08,166 --> 00:21:09,835
some dust masks
in the tool shed.

384
00:21:09,959 --> 00:21:11,294
Okay.

385
00:21:11,378 --> 00:21:15,173
Rest of you, go outside. Start
bringing in those sheets of drywall.

386
00:21:15,256 --> 00:21:17,217
Wait a minute!
What?

387
00:21:17,718 --> 00:21:20,928
I don't want "it" here.

388
00:21:21,054 --> 00:21:22,556
Oh, please!

389
00:21:23,849 --> 00:21:25,517
That's why this
whole thing happened.

390
00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:28,102
God's angry that there's an
abomination in the church,

391
00:21:28,228 --> 00:21:29,468
and if we don't
get rid of "it,"

392
00:21:29,563 --> 00:21:30,731
it's just gonna
keep on happening.

393
00:21:30,856 --> 00:21:32,065
All right, you listen to me.

394
00:21:32,566 --> 00:21:35,569
You are not
an agent of God, okay?

395
00:21:36,403 --> 00:21:40,407
God can do so much better than you.
You must know that, right?

396
00:21:40,532 --> 00:21:41,491
Know what?

397
00:21:41,575 --> 00:21:44,703
Jesus Christ, how the fuck
did you survive infancy?

398
00:21:44,786 --> 00:21:46,079
My auntie helped my momma...

399
00:21:46,204 --> 00:21:47,414
That's a rhetorical question!

400
00:21:47,539 --> 00:21:50,751
Do you not understand what a
fucking rhetorical question is?

401
00:21:50,834 --> 00:21:52,001
(CHUCKLING)

402
00:21:52,293 --> 00:21:54,254
Sophia just cares
about the church.

403
00:21:54,379 --> 00:21:56,381
And she just wants to help.
Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm!

404
00:21:56,464 --> 00:21:58,842
Help clean up the mess you made.
Mmm-hmm!

405
00:21:58,925 --> 00:22:00,051
PORNSTACHE: You see,
there, Pennsyltucky?

406
00:22:00,134 --> 00:22:01,720
That's just what I've been
saying the whole time.

407
00:22:01,803 --> 00:22:03,555
You're an idiot.

408
00:22:05,599 --> 00:22:08,309
(WHISPERING) I want to fuck
Jesus in his hand-hole.

409
00:22:08,435 --> 00:22:09,519
Mmm.

410
00:22:11,897 --> 00:22:14,691
All right.
Let's get to work.

411
00:22:53,688 --> 00:22:55,022
(SNIFFING)

412
00:22:57,901 --> 00:23:01,738
Hey. I thought that
we might get masks, too?

413
00:23:03,239 --> 00:23:04,990
There's not enough.

414
00:23:06,785 --> 00:23:08,453
That's what you get
for acting uppity.

415
00:23:08,536 --> 00:23:10,956
Okay, so about the chicken...

416
00:23:11,581 --> 00:23:13,834
What about it? It's like Red's
version of the white whale.

417
00:23:13,959 --> 00:23:16,001
No, no, no, I saw it.
I really did.

418
00:23:16,127 --> 00:23:18,839
All right. It's just you
and the crackheads then.

419
00:23:18,922 --> 00:23:21,299
But at least you're getting
in good with Captain Ahab.

420
00:23:21,382 --> 00:23:23,384
Better her ship than the ocean.

421
00:23:24,511 --> 00:23:27,722
So I take it you're not gonna
come look for it after work?

422
00:23:27,848 --> 00:23:29,182
What, the chicken?

423
00:23:29,265 --> 00:23:33,060
We're gonna search the yard.
Morello invited me.

424
00:23:34,980 --> 00:23:37,774
Morello and I are sort of
taking a break. (SNIFFS)

425
00:23:38,023 --> 00:23:40,025
I'm sorry to hear that.
What happened?

426
00:23:40,109 --> 00:23:44,823
Yeah, she still thinks her relationship
with her fiance isn't doomed.

427
00:23:45,323 --> 00:23:47,241
But she'll be back.

428
00:23:47,742 --> 00:23:49,285
Nothing lasts.

429
00:23:55,333 --> 00:23:56,334
Twenty.

430
00:23:59,044 --> 00:24:00,244
You got that?
What's the score?

431
00:24:00,296 --> 00:24:01,339
Oh.

432
00:24:01,589 --> 00:24:02,799
Hold up, let me add it up.
(SPEAKING SPANISH)

433
00:24:02,924 --> 00:24:04,676
What's going on over there?

434
00:24:07,721 --> 00:24:08,889
WOMAN: Come on, chicken!

435
00:24:08,972 --> 00:24:11,432
Red's looking for
the chicken again.

436
00:24:11,558 --> 00:24:13,058
That bitch is crazy.

437
00:24:13,184 --> 00:24:15,060
Who gives a shit
about a chicken?

438
00:24:15,144 --> 00:24:17,345
Maybe it's not the chicken but
what's within the chicken.

439
00:24:18,105 --> 00:24:19,440
You trying to sound deep?

440
00:24:19,858 --> 00:24:23,778
Nah. My boy, Potato Chip, told
me that when he was down,

441
00:24:23,904 --> 00:24:27,991
they used to bring in dope by
putting that shit inside birds.

442
00:24:28,616 --> 00:24:30,159
Chickens?
Nah.

443
00:24:30,243 --> 00:24:31,745
I think it was like
a pigeon or something.

444
00:24:31,870 --> 00:24:33,120
Did they stick it up the butt?

445
00:24:33,246 --> 00:24:37,166
Nah. They put it in a little
baggie, stuff it down the throat.

446
00:24:37,625 --> 00:24:39,335
But maybe they put
it in the butt, too.

447
00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:41,086
(SPEAKING SPANISH)

448
00:24:41,170 --> 00:24:44,257
There's no chicken.
That's a fairy tale.

449
00:24:44,340 --> 00:24:45,800
(ALL CHUCKLE)

450
00:24:48,344 --> 00:24:50,972
My boy said that shit's
worth, like, $1,000, yo.

451
00:24:51,431 --> 00:24:54,601
FLACA: And that's just from
what they put inside a pigeon.

452
00:24:55,226 --> 00:24:57,687
A chicken's got
a much bigger butt.

453
00:25:01,148 --> 00:25:02,609
Are you kidding me?

454
00:25:04,277 --> 00:25:05,278
(SPEAKING SPANISH)

455
00:25:05,445 --> 00:25:08,489
You have to be fucking kidding me.
You too?

456
00:25:08,615 --> 00:25:11,367
I'm not stupid. I'm just
going to watch the stupid.

457
00:25:13,954 --> 00:25:16,497
Yo, Spanish mamis
got something going on.

458
00:25:18,165 --> 00:25:19,333
Ain't you going, too?

459
00:25:19,459 --> 00:25:20,627
(CLICKS TONGUE) No.

460
00:25:21,044 --> 00:25:24,798
No, you'd rather sit
and scribble love notes.

461
00:25:25,506 --> 00:25:27,550
Don't play dumb,
I know what you're doing.

462
00:25:27,634 --> 00:25:30,011
I seen you leave a kite
and I know who for.

463
00:25:30,135 --> 00:25:31,178
You followed me?

464
00:25:31,304 --> 00:25:34,223
I'm telling you, you're wasting
your time with that one.

465
00:25:34,307 --> 00:25:37,811
Not that you're not pretty.
I don't mean it like that.

466
00:25:37,894 --> 00:25:42,273
It's just, you gonna fuck
a guard, fuck a fat one.

467
00:25:42,356 --> 00:25:43,733
That way they're
more appreciative.

468
00:25:43,817 --> 00:25:46,360
Let you sneak in cigarettes.
Maybe bring you McDonald's.

469
00:25:46,527 --> 00:25:47,687
Is that how you really think?

470
00:25:47,779 --> 00:25:49,259
That's how you need
to start thinking.

471
00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:50,657
I'm trying to look out for you.

472
00:25:50,907 --> 00:25:52,575
I don't fuck dudes
for Big Macs.

473
00:25:53,326 --> 00:25:54,911
But you fuck 'em.
Yeah.

474
00:25:54,995 --> 00:25:57,538
So what do you fuck 'em for?
Love?

475
00:25:57,831 --> 00:25:59,082
(EXCLAIMS IN SPANISH)

476
00:26:14,347 --> 00:26:17,017
Daya? Daya!

477
00:26:18,434 --> 00:26:21,980
Hi, baby!
Hello, my little angel.

478
00:26:22,730 --> 00:26:24,398
How you doing?

479
00:26:26,191 --> 00:26:27,652
Where's your
brother and sisters?

480
00:26:28,361 --> 00:26:31,156
I don't know. I'm hungry.

481
00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:32,824
There's food in the kitchen.
Why didn't you...

482
00:26:32,907 --> 00:26:34,034
(LOUD LAUGHTER)

483
00:26:37,829 --> 00:26:39,497
Go ahead. I'll go.

484
00:26:42,542 --> 00:26:46,546
And Paco's like, "He's not
an eggplant, he's retarded!"

485
00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:48,213
(LAUGHING)

486
00:26:54,054 --> 00:26:55,055
What do you want?

487
00:26:55,180 --> 00:26:56,723
What are you doing in here?
Get out.

488
00:26:56,806 --> 00:26:59,266
Eva's hungry. I need to
make her something to eat.

489
00:26:59,392 --> 00:27:00,552
CESAR: So make her something.

490
00:27:02,979 --> 00:27:05,690
But, hey, you better make me
something, too, if you're in here.

491
00:27:05,773 --> 00:27:07,608
You can't eat that.
It's shaped like animals.

492
00:27:07,734 --> 00:27:10,111
So, I don't give a fuck.
It tastes the same.

493
00:27:10,235 --> 00:27:11,863
But it's made for kids.

494
00:27:11,946 --> 00:27:13,489
I'm just trying to
look out for you,

495
00:27:13,614 --> 00:27:15,200
so people don't
think you're a faggot.

496
00:27:16,534 --> 00:27:20,163
You wanna wear Superman undies
and eat kids' food, be my guest.

497
00:27:20,245 --> 00:27:22,040
Maybe I should get
you a propeller beanie

498
00:27:22,123 --> 00:27:23,875
and you can hang
out on the corner.

499
00:27:23,958 --> 00:27:25,919
(CLICKS TONGUE)

500
00:27:26,044 --> 00:27:27,252
(SIGHS)

501
00:27:30,924 --> 00:27:33,258
Go out and buy some real food.

502
00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:37,055
Keep the change.

503
00:27:38,681 --> 00:27:39,682
Buy a smile?

504
00:27:40,725 --> 00:27:41,935
(SCOFFS)

505
00:27:42,894 --> 00:27:45,438
Cesar, how much longer
we have to do this here?

506
00:27:45,563 --> 00:27:46,981
Not long.

507
00:27:47,107 --> 00:27:49,734
Pepe may have found a new spot.

508
00:27:49,817 --> 00:27:53,113
What's the matter?
You don't like me anymore?

509
00:27:58,534 --> 00:27:59,869
(LAUGHING)

510
00:28:01,204 --> 00:28:02,455
(CURSES IN SPANISH)

511
00:28:02,747 --> 00:28:06,167
YOGA JONES: All right,
extend that rear leg.

512
00:28:06,667 --> 00:28:10,213
Challenge yourselves,
but don't forget to breathe.

513
00:28:10,379 --> 00:28:11,714
What do I do with my arms?

514
00:28:11,798 --> 00:28:13,133
Extend the arms.

515
00:28:14,383 --> 00:28:16,301
Soft eyes, Morello.

516
00:28:20,389 --> 00:28:22,809
Excuse me. What's happening?

517
00:28:22,934 --> 00:28:24,644
We got AA.

518
00:28:24,727 --> 00:28:27,981
No, not right now you don't. We're doing yoga.
This is our time.

519
00:28:28,064 --> 00:28:31,109
Well, they sent us here
'cause the chapel's wrecked.

520
00:28:31,192 --> 00:28:35,071
Now, don't worry. You just keep
on doing what you're doing.

521
00:28:35,155 --> 00:28:38,950
Yeah, let's see one of these
downward facing doggie styles.

522
00:28:39,742 --> 00:28:42,578
PIPER: Soft eyes, Morello.
Soft eyes.

523
00:28:42,662 --> 00:28:45,623
YOGA JONES: This is unacceptable.
Norma, take over for me.

524
00:28:45,706 --> 00:28:47,458
I'm getting Caputo.

525
00:28:57,093 --> 00:28:58,511
I'm sorry, am I disturbing you?

526
00:29:03,016 --> 00:29:06,269
Oh, man, I did it. (SIGHS)
I fucked up your Zen.

527
00:29:06,352 --> 00:29:09,689
No. Wouldn't wanna accidentally
kick you in the face.

528
00:29:12,942 --> 00:29:14,610
"So we do not lose heart.

529
00:29:14,694 --> 00:29:17,363
"Though our outer
self is wasting away,

530
00:29:17,488 --> 00:29:20,158
"our inner self is
being renewed day by day."

531
00:29:20,700 --> 00:29:23,286
What's that?
Corinthians 4:16.

532
00:29:24,037 --> 00:29:26,455
Just something I say to myself
when I think my ass looks fat.

533
00:29:26,580 --> 00:29:28,541
So you do understand what
I've been going through.

534
00:29:28,666 --> 00:29:31,085
I know, changes in
the body can be painful.

535
00:29:31,211 --> 00:29:33,587
But remember,
your body is just the ship.

536
00:29:33,838 --> 00:29:35,631
Your soul is the passenger.

537
00:29:35,715 --> 00:29:36,757
Oh. (CHUCKLES)

538
00:29:36,883 --> 00:29:38,551
There's another passage here.

539
00:29:38,676 --> 00:29:40,220
So you been through menopause?

540
00:29:40,345 --> 00:29:41,888
Oh, yes, dear.

541
00:29:42,388 --> 00:29:45,516
Did you just pray that
you'd get through it?

542
00:29:45,599 --> 00:29:46,642
More or less.

543
00:29:47,643 --> 00:29:50,563
What's the "more" part?
And the "less"?

544
00:29:50,646 --> 00:29:52,357
I also exercised regularly.

545
00:29:52,523 --> 00:29:55,568
See, it's especially
hard for me because

546
00:29:55,651 --> 00:29:58,654
it's taken me so long
to get to this point.

547
00:29:58,738 --> 00:30:02,950
And I'm just not ready
to give it up, you know?

548
00:30:03,076 --> 00:30:04,827
Yes, you said.

549
00:30:04,911 --> 00:30:06,246
And I sacrificed so much.

550
00:30:06,371 --> 00:30:07,413
Right.

551
00:30:07,580 --> 00:30:11,876
And I feel like finally,
finally, I'm the woman

552
00:30:12,919 --> 00:30:16,005
that God intended
me to be, you know?

553
00:30:16,381 --> 00:30:18,341
That's wonderful.
Yeah.

554
00:30:18,925 --> 00:30:20,467
You're not getting my hormones.

555
00:30:21,552 --> 00:30:24,513
Now, shall we
return to Scripture?

556
00:30:26,224 --> 00:30:28,976
You knew? This whole time?

557
00:30:29,310 --> 00:30:30,590
I figured it out
when you thought

558
00:30:30,603 --> 00:30:32,855
"Stations of the Cross"
meant Christian radio.

559
00:30:33,522 --> 00:30:34,941
So you've been playing with me?

560
00:30:35,066 --> 00:30:38,611
You may be unhappy, but it has
nothing to do with your body.

561
00:30:38,736 --> 00:30:41,864
If you were truly a woman, you'd
never be happy with that anyway.

562
00:30:41,948 --> 00:30:43,116
You have guilt.

563
00:30:43,199 --> 00:30:44,617
(SCOFFS)

564
00:30:45,159 --> 00:30:46,786
About what?

565
00:30:46,953 --> 00:30:49,455
About leaving your wife to
take care of Michael alone.

566
00:30:50,581 --> 00:30:51,958
About Michael being...

567
00:30:52,083 --> 00:30:53,626
Don't you talk
to me about that!

568
00:30:53,709 --> 00:30:55,229
You don't get to
talk to me about that.

569
00:30:55,295 --> 00:30:57,422
Sophia!
Leave me alone!

570
00:30:57,504 --> 00:30:59,924
MAN OVER PA: Attention all
personnel, be advised, count.

571
00:31:00,133 --> 00:31:01,968
TAYSTEE:
So there I am, topless,

572
00:31:02,051 --> 00:31:04,553
sitting on this bulldozer,
like, in a construction site.

573
00:31:04,637 --> 00:31:07,514
So I'm sitting there,
barbecue sauce on my titties,

574
00:31:07,640 --> 00:31:10,310
and I'm like,
"What the fuck? Again?"

575
00:31:11,978 --> 00:31:13,438
And then I look down

576
00:31:16,649 --> 00:31:21,737
and I see there's this dude
down on the ground

577
00:31:21,821 --> 00:31:23,530
with his head by,
like, the tire.

578
00:31:24,449 --> 00:31:25,783
And then I look close

579
00:31:25,866 --> 00:31:27,910
and I recognize it's the
bum from the night before

580
00:31:27,994 --> 00:31:30,663
that was hollerin' at me
outside of Pizzeria Uno.

581
00:31:30,788 --> 00:31:34,792
And when I look closer, I see
the dude is wearing my shirt

582
00:31:34,875 --> 00:31:38,004
and he's got barbecue sauce
all over his face and he's...

583
00:31:40,173 --> 00:31:41,257
He's dead.

584
00:31:43,176 --> 00:31:46,971
And that's when I knew it was
time to make a change. Thank you.

585
00:31:48,681 --> 00:31:52,435
Almost the exact same thing happened
to me, but it was tuna salad.

586
00:31:52,559 --> 00:31:55,188
YOGA JONES: All right.
We will now,

587
00:31:55,271 --> 00:31:57,857
once again,
go into a forward bend,

588
00:31:58,358 --> 00:32:02,111
and when you're ready,
relax back into Shavasana.

589
00:32:02,487 --> 00:32:05,031
Anyone else feel
like sharing today?

590
00:32:06,491 --> 00:32:07,492
Anybody?

591
00:32:07,574 --> 00:32:08,575
I'll share.

592
00:32:17,543 --> 00:32:19,879
I don't have a great
rock-bottom story

593
00:32:19,962 --> 00:32:23,383
because my rock bottom
is happening right now.

594
00:32:24,050 --> 00:32:29,055
Not that you're not all great, but I
guess I just thought I'd never be here.

595
00:32:29,889 --> 00:32:34,727
You know, I thought I was
someone who was in control.

596
00:32:35,269 --> 00:32:37,313
And I was in control,
for a while.

597
00:32:38,189 --> 00:32:40,274
When I only dealt heroin.

598
00:32:40,400 --> 00:32:43,569
Not even dealt.
I mean, I was an importer.

599
00:32:46,906 --> 00:32:51,618
But, yeah, I was going through
a break-up, and it was around.

600
00:32:53,162 --> 00:32:55,706
Actually, I think it's more accurate
to say that I was abandoned.

601
00:32:56,749 --> 00:33:01,212
But, anyway, I started using.

602
00:33:01,295 --> 00:33:02,922
Are you finished?

603
00:33:03,672 --> 00:33:05,883
Yes, thank you.
That was wonderful.

604
00:33:05,966 --> 00:33:08,928
Heroin was the best
girlfriend that I ever had.

605
00:33:09,011 --> 00:33:12,056
You know, she always
made me feel better,

606
00:33:13,433 --> 00:33:15,642
and she was always available.

607
00:33:17,937 --> 00:33:20,017
But even the best girls
will fuck you over, you know?

608
00:33:20,440 --> 00:33:23,317
Yeah, you would fucking
know, wouldn't you?

609
00:33:29,115 --> 00:33:32,159
Damn, I thought yoga
was supposed to relax you.

610
00:33:32,285 --> 00:33:35,162
HOWARD: You want to know
if she fingered her?

611
00:33:35,662 --> 00:33:37,039
I think that's
been established.

612
00:33:37,164 --> 00:33:39,459
Please, Dad. No jokes.
I can't take it right now.

613
00:33:39,542 --> 00:33:40,751
Howard, leave him alone.

614
00:33:40,834 --> 00:33:41,961
You leave me alone.

615
00:33:42,086 --> 00:33:43,712
Larry, have you
weatherized yet?

616
00:33:43,796 --> 00:33:46,215
I know it looks tacky,
but if you put up the plastic,

617
00:33:46,299 --> 00:33:47,779
you'll save a lot
of money on heating.

618
00:33:47,800 --> 00:33:49,635
Those windows are very old.

619
00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:51,637
I'm going to, Mom.

620
00:33:52,221 --> 00:33:54,181
And I'm sorry I'm
late with the rent.

621
00:33:54,307 --> 00:33:56,642
It's all right. As long as you
take care of us when we're dying.

622
00:33:56,725 --> 00:33:59,061
Though you might want to think
about getting a job at some point.

623
00:33:59,145 --> 00:34:02,648
He has a job. He's a writer.
All it takes is one article.

624
00:34:02,731 --> 00:34:04,484
For what?
To get paid 50 bucks?

625
00:34:04,567 --> 00:34:07,778
To lead to bigger things. You have
any projects you're working on?

626
00:34:07,903 --> 00:34:10,531
Yes, Mom, thank you.
As a matter of fact, I do.

627
00:34:10,656 --> 00:34:11,907
I'm working on
an article right now.

628
00:34:11,991 --> 00:34:13,242
What's it about?

629
00:34:13,326 --> 00:34:16,621
It's a trend piece, about
something called edging.

630
00:34:22,502 --> 00:34:27,006
It's when you have sex or
masturbate without coming.

631
00:34:28,007 --> 00:34:30,635
Without coming?
That sounds unhealthy.

632
00:34:30,717 --> 00:34:33,095
A man needs to come.
Larry, tell me you're coming.

633
00:34:33,179 --> 00:34:34,221
I shouldn't have said anything.

634
00:34:34,347 --> 00:34:37,850
Howard, tell Larry he needs to come.
You could get blocked up!

635
00:34:37,975 --> 00:34:39,059
I'll tell him.

636
00:34:39,185 --> 00:34:40,227
Listen to your father.

637
00:34:40,353 --> 00:34:42,855
You two want some soup?
The girl made soup.

638
00:34:42,980 --> 00:34:44,773
Soup would be nice.
I'm fine. Thank you.

639
00:34:44,857 --> 00:34:46,859
I'll get for both of you.

640
00:34:50,655 --> 00:34:54,325
Dad, please. I know you don't like
Piper, but I'm asking you to help me.

641
00:34:54,408 --> 00:34:55,535
Who said I don't like her?

642
00:34:55,618 --> 00:34:56,994
I like her. She's the nicest
felon you've ever dated.

643
00:34:57,077 --> 00:34:58,287
Stop.

644
00:34:58,871 --> 00:35:01,374
I just think she's a bit wispy.

645
00:35:01,499 --> 00:35:03,209
I thought you'd end up with
someone more substantial.

646
00:35:03,334 --> 00:35:06,170
Are you talking about her moral
character or the size of her breasts?

647
00:35:06,253 --> 00:35:07,713
Please. I'm an ass man.

648
00:35:07,880 --> 00:35:09,215
He's an ass man.

649
00:35:10,799 --> 00:35:12,552
You asked about her girlfriend?

650
00:35:12,677 --> 00:35:13,927
Ex-girlfriend.

651
00:35:14,720 --> 00:35:17,014
I have looked over
the indictment.

652
00:35:17,723 --> 00:35:18,724
And?

653
00:35:18,891 --> 00:35:24,230
It states that, unequivocally,
Alex Vause gave her name.

654
00:35:24,980 --> 00:35:26,190
(SIGHS)

655
00:35:27,358 --> 00:35:28,734
Good. Thank you.

656
00:35:29,026 --> 00:35:30,570
Good? How is that good?

657
00:35:30,861 --> 00:35:33,656
It's good that
Piper'll know for sure.

658
00:35:33,989 --> 00:35:37,368
And she'll hate her more,
so she'll stay away from her.

659
00:35:38,244 --> 00:35:40,246
Listen, Larry, don't tell her.
Why?

660
00:35:41,455 --> 00:35:42,665
Prison is a fishbowl, son.

661
00:35:42,748 --> 00:35:44,625
The last thing she needs
is an enemy to obsess over,

662
00:35:44,750 --> 00:35:46,293
do something
stupid out of anger.

663
00:35:46,419 --> 00:35:49,088
She should serve her time
and leave without any trouble.

664
00:35:49,922 --> 00:35:51,298
I'm not gonna lie
to my fiancee.

665
00:35:51,424 --> 00:35:52,425
Why not?

666
00:35:52,550 --> 00:35:54,677
Because our relationship
doesn't work that way.

667
00:35:54,760 --> 00:35:58,598
Oh, yes, yes. It's based
on trust and honesty.

668
00:35:58,681 --> 00:36:00,266
Even though she
neglected to tell you

669
00:36:00,391 --> 00:36:02,351
that she's in there
with this Alex until now?

670
00:36:02,435 --> 00:36:05,187
Okay, first of all,
it's only been three weeks,

671
00:36:05,271 --> 00:36:08,982
and she didn't want to tell me because
she didn't want me to get upset.

672
00:36:09,108 --> 00:36:10,610
So, why should you upset her?

673
00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:14,572
No. (SCOFFS)

674
00:36:15,364 --> 00:36:17,533
No. I'm not gonna
lie to protect her

675
00:36:17,617 --> 00:36:19,785
like she's some
helpless thing, okay?

676
00:36:20,661 --> 00:36:23,122
Honesty is the best policy.
I really believe that.

677
00:36:24,665 --> 00:36:27,334
Larry, remember
all those special

678
00:36:27,460 --> 00:36:30,087
achievement ribbons
you earned as a child?

679
00:36:31,130 --> 00:36:32,298
Yeah.

680
00:36:32,381 --> 00:36:34,800
You notice how there was
never a public ceremony?

681
00:36:34,925 --> 00:36:38,137
You did win that one for
tidiest cubby in preschool.

682
00:36:38,262 --> 00:36:40,306
But the truth is...

683
00:36:43,225 --> 00:36:44,351
...overrated.

684
00:36:45,269 --> 00:36:51,150
My advice, keep her focused on her life
outside, her business, her friends.

685
00:36:51,817 --> 00:36:53,486
The wedding.

686
00:36:53,611 --> 00:36:55,488
Whether or not you actually
go through with it.

687
00:36:57,531 --> 00:37:01,702
Here, Larry. Eat your soup. You're
the best soup eater in America.

688
00:37:04,204 --> 00:37:06,206
POUSSEY: He's got it!

689
00:37:08,208 --> 00:37:09,710
Find that chicken,
babe, you got it?

690
00:37:10,670 --> 00:37:11,671
Chicken!

691
00:37:13,339 --> 00:37:14,298
(CLUCKING)

692
00:37:14,381 --> 00:37:16,008
Here, chicky, chicky, chicky.

693
00:37:18,135 --> 00:37:19,845
What's going on?

694
00:37:20,179 --> 00:37:23,849
There's $1,000 inside a chicken somewhere.
Everyone's looking for it.

695
00:37:24,600 --> 00:37:26,602
What?
RED: You.

696
00:37:27,853 --> 00:37:29,563
This is your fault.
Huh?

697
00:37:29,689 --> 00:37:32,358
You've been blabbing all over
about the chicken, haven't you?

698
00:37:32,525 --> 00:37:33,859
Not really.

699
00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:36,737
But even if I had, you never
told me it was a secret.

700
00:37:36,862 --> 00:37:38,989
Because I thought
you had common sense.

701
00:37:39,072 --> 00:37:41,867
Black girls hear about a chicken,
of course this will happen.

702
00:37:42,075 --> 00:37:43,910
Why, because all
black people love chicken?

703
00:37:44,036 --> 00:37:45,287
Don't be racist.

704
00:37:45,371 --> 00:37:46,664
Because they're all on heroin,

705
00:37:46,747 --> 00:37:49,792
and somebody's been telling them
there's heroin in the chicken.

706
00:37:49,875 --> 00:37:51,043
I heard it's a gun.

707
00:37:51,126 --> 00:37:53,045
Okay, I had nothing
to do with this.

708
00:37:53,128 --> 00:37:55,840
You cannot blame this on me.
I just told you what I saw.

709
00:37:55,922 --> 00:37:57,717
Right, what you "saw."

710
00:37:57,842 --> 00:38:00,427
Why are you using air quotes?
Are you saying that I'm lying?

711
00:38:00,553 --> 00:38:02,137
Maybe you wanted
to impress people.

712
00:38:02,221 --> 00:38:04,557
I did not even know this was
a thing that was impressive.

713
00:38:04,682 --> 00:38:08,143
If she hasn't been scared off, the
Spanish or the blacks have her.

714
00:38:08,268 --> 00:38:10,813
Those Spanish probably
won't even eat her,

715
00:38:10,896 --> 00:38:12,981
just cut her throat
and drink her blood,

716
00:38:13,065 --> 00:38:15,150
or something
else superstitious.

717
00:38:15,609 --> 00:38:17,319
All I wanted was
to eat the chicken

718
00:38:17,403 --> 00:38:19,071
that is smarter
than other chickens

719
00:38:19,196 --> 00:38:20,947
and to absorb its power.

720
00:38:21,448 --> 00:38:24,410
And make a nice Kiev.
But, oh, well.

721
00:38:28,163 --> 00:38:31,083
So, what?
You're just gonna give up?

722
00:38:33,252 --> 00:38:34,294
Huh?

723
00:38:35,462 --> 00:38:37,256
Just because of
a little competition?

724
00:38:38,758 --> 00:38:40,217
That chicken is out there, Red,

725
00:38:40,300 --> 00:38:42,969
and it's waiting for you.
To eat it.

726
00:38:43,929 --> 00:38:47,433
And you have been waiting for
a very long time to eat it.

727
00:38:48,058 --> 00:38:50,436
What do those other girls
have that you don't have?

728
00:38:50,519 --> 00:38:51,604
They have dogs.

729
00:38:51,729 --> 00:38:54,899
Dogs does not a chicken catch.

730
00:38:56,233 --> 00:38:57,860
Determination, Red.

731
00:38:58,694 --> 00:39:00,487
That's what catches chickens.

732
00:39:01,447 --> 00:39:02,907
Who wants that
chicken the most?

733
00:39:03,449 --> 00:39:06,577
Who will prepare
that chicken most expertly?

734
00:39:07,620 --> 00:39:10,122
The woman who dreams about it.

735
00:39:10,790 --> 00:39:14,126
The woman who was born
to eat that chicken.

736
00:39:16,962 --> 00:39:17,963
You.

737
00:39:18,756 --> 00:39:20,215
(DOG BARKING)

738
00:39:22,843 --> 00:39:26,722
That's mine!
That's my chicken!

739
00:39:26,931 --> 00:39:28,724
(BELL RINGING)

740
00:39:28,808 --> 00:39:30,476
(WOMEN CLAMORING)

741
00:39:31,351 --> 00:39:34,146
What the hell is
the matter with you?

742
00:39:34,229 --> 00:39:36,315
You tryin' out for
the retard Olympics?

743
00:39:37,023 --> 00:39:39,819
Somebody shove some
dynamite up your ass?

744
00:39:41,987 --> 00:39:43,864
Do you want to get shot?

745
00:39:44,782 --> 00:39:48,994
Trust me. We got a lot of
bullets up in that guard tower.

746
00:39:50,162 --> 00:39:53,373
So if that's what you want,
just try that shit again.

747
00:39:56,669 --> 00:39:59,421
You are not supposed to run.

748
00:39:59,839 --> 00:40:02,466
Remind me never
to listen to you.

749
00:40:03,717 --> 00:40:06,386
So, why are you running? Huh?

750
00:40:09,682 --> 00:40:12,100
For a fucking chicken?

751
00:40:12,267 --> 00:40:15,437
Who the fuck told you there
was a chicken in my yard?

752
00:40:48,470 --> 00:40:49,722
But that's not fair!

753
00:40:49,805 --> 00:40:51,682
It's more than fair.

754
00:40:51,765 --> 00:40:55,060
You know the rules about running.
Who's next?

755
00:40:55,143 --> 00:40:56,228
Chapman.

756
00:40:59,314 --> 00:41:01,859
You're gonna have a swell
time down the hill, blondie.

757
00:41:02,526 --> 00:41:04,570
Trust me, he's gonna break you.

758
00:41:04,653 --> 00:41:06,906
HEALY: Yes, thank you.

759
00:41:07,031 --> 00:41:09,575
And that was not necessary.

760
00:41:09,658 --> 00:41:11,785
Please close the door
on your way out.

761
00:41:12,578 --> 00:41:13,818
MAN OVER PA:
Attention, inmates.

762
00:41:13,913 --> 00:41:17,249
Multiple code violations will
result in loss of privileges.

763
00:41:17,374 --> 00:41:20,085
So, I'm not sure if I
have the rumor straight.

764
00:41:20,252 --> 00:41:25,340
Is the chicken filled with money,
or heroin, or guns, or candy?

765
00:41:25,424 --> 00:41:27,384
No, no. Mr. Healy, this is...

766
00:41:27,467 --> 00:41:29,678
I'm not sending
you down the hill.

767
00:41:29,762 --> 00:41:31,931
You made a mistake.
You're new.

768
00:41:32,890 --> 00:41:34,099
Thank you.

769
00:41:34,182 --> 00:41:37,686
Probably just wanted to impress
people, be a big shot.

770
00:41:39,187 --> 00:41:42,274
So you started making up stories.
No!

771
00:41:42,357 --> 00:41:45,903
It's all right.
I understand.

772
00:41:45,986 --> 00:41:47,320
You think this
is the first time

773
00:41:47,446 --> 00:41:49,823
that I've heard
about the "chicken"?

774
00:41:50,365 --> 00:41:55,788
It's popular fiction. It's like
global warming or female ejaculation.

775
00:41:55,871 --> 00:41:58,791
No! No. No, it's not.
This is real.

776
00:41:59,458 --> 00:42:01,043
How is it real?

777
00:42:02,127 --> 00:42:03,378
Wait, which?

778
00:42:03,462 --> 00:42:05,631
The chicken. And the...

779
00:42:08,300 --> 00:42:09,718
The chicken.

780
00:42:10,803 --> 00:42:14,180
There's a triple razor wire
fence around this camp.

781
00:42:14,306 --> 00:42:15,933
It's impossible.

782
00:42:16,016 --> 00:42:18,518
And if you think that
chickens can fly, well,

783
00:42:18,644 --> 00:42:21,105
we better go to
Wikipedia right away.

784
00:42:21,563 --> 00:42:23,816
Oh, my God,
you have the Internet.

785
00:42:23,941 --> 00:42:28,361
Look, I don't care if you've
seen this thing or not.

786
00:42:28,737 --> 00:42:32,825
But I don't want you exciting the
other inmates with this kind of talk.

787
00:42:32,992 --> 00:42:35,119
They're not like you and me.

788
00:42:35,828 --> 00:42:39,665
They're less reasonable.
Less educated.

789
00:42:40,666 --> 00:42:44,044
And I don't want you
making up stories to Red.

790
00:42:44,169 --> 00:42:46,505
You know how
Russians love chicken.

791
00:42:47,631 --> 00:42:51,343
Moving forward, I want you
to keep your head down.

792
00:42:52,344 --> 00:42:54,680
Don't make any more
boastful claims.

793
00:42:55,430 --> 00:42:56,890
Don't...
See a chicken.

794
00:42:57,016 --> 00:42:58,350
Exactly.

795
00:42:58,475 --> 00:42:59,935
Now, repeat after me.

796
00:43:00,019 --> 00:43:03,105
BELL: There is no chicken.
There never was any chicken.

797
00:43:03,188 --> 00:43:06,441
The chicken is an urban myth.
A grand illusion.

798
00:43:06,525 --> 00:43:08,694
Something to give
your life meaning,

799
00:43:08,777 --> 00:43:10,863
but which is in fact not there.

800
00:43:11,613 --> 00:43:13,657
We will make a poster.

801
00:43:14,616 --> 00:43:16,451
Yo, chicken lady.

802
00:43:17,161 --> 00:43:19,830
I got my visitation
revoked 'cause of you.

803
00:43:24,250 --> 00:43:25,878
What'd you get?

804
00:43:27,462 --> 00:43:28,714
(SCOFFS)

805
00:43:29,214 --> 00:43:30,590
I should've fuckin' known.

806
00:43:32,467 --> 00:43:35,721
I don't mess with no heroin,
but I love me some candy.

807
00:43:36,180 --> 00:43:38,390
You better watch it with the stories.
I didn't...

808
00:43:43,395 --> 00:43:44,563
(SIGHS)

809
00:43:46,773 --> 00:43:49,651
MAN OVER PA: Bravo dorms,
assemble for visitation hall.

810
00:43:50,443 --> 00:43:51,778
Still open?

811
00:43:57,242 --> 00:43:58,911
In some tribal cultures,

812
00:43:58,994 --> 00:44:02,497
the transgender person
is regarded as a shaman.

813
00:44:03,373 --> 00:44:05,417
Trying to convert
me to paganism now?

814
00:44:05,500 --> 00:44:07,044
Whatever works.

815
00:44:07,127 --> 00:44:08,754
It's not a very
Catholic thing to say.

816
00:44:08,879 --> 00:44:12,091
I'm not here as a Catholic,
I'm here as a friend.

817
00:44:13,466 --> 00:44:16,178
I'll cut your hair. But I ain't
giving you no confession.

818
00:44:16,803 --> 00:44:20,807
I already know how I feel.
I let 'em down.

819
00:44:22,893 --> 00:44:24,686
You're still here.

820
00:44:25,229 --> 00:44:27,814
And the best thing you can
do for them is be strong.

821
00:44:27,940 --> 00:44:30,859
Inside. You already
have the Playboy body.

822
00:44:30,943 --> 00:44:32,569
What are you
doing reading Playboy?

823
00:44:32,903 --> 00:44:34,654
Oh, I read everything.

824
00:44:36,823 --> 00:44:38,951
Why did God have to give me
that stupid penis?

825
00:44:39,034 --> 00:44:40,119
I don't know.

826
00:44:40,202 --> 00:44:42,621
Any more than I know
why he gave men nipples.

827
00:44:43,287 --> 00:44:45,040
There are mysteries.

828
00:44:45,124 --> 00:44:47,167
And as a Catholic,
I enjoy them.

829
00:44:47,960 --> 00:44:49,962
The mysteries, that is.

830
00:44:50,545 --> 00:44:52,589
Well, I enjoy the nipples.

831
00:44:53,423 --> 00:44:55,675
So now they think that I'm a liar.
That I made it up.

832
00:44:55,801 --> 00:44:59,972
I don't understand. Why would I
make something like that up?

833
00:45:00,680 --> 00:45:01,848
I don't know.

834
00:45:01,974 --> 00:45:04,059
Hey, you have that call
with Weiner later, right?

835
00:45:04,143 --> 00:45:05,269
Yes.

836
00:45:05,351 --> 00:45:07,062
You ready?
I'm ready.

837
00:45:07,146 --> 00:45:12,109
That's good. Because I can't ask my
parents for any more money, okay?

838
00:45:12,192 --> 00:45:15,654
No. Yes. And I can't
ask mine either.

839
00:45:15,779 --> 00:45:19,449
Okay, we can't ask anyone's
parents for any more money.

840
00:45:19,532 --> 00:45:22,077
So make it a slam dunk, all right?
Yes.

841
00:45:22,161 --> 00:45:23,662
By the time you
get out of prison,

842
00:45:23,745 --> 00:45:25,205
you'll be
a big-time soap baron,

843
00:45:25,413 --> 00:45:29,168
I'll be a famous journalist,
and we'll start our life.

844
00:45:29,251 --> 00:45:32,504
Life already has started.
I'm in here.

845
00:45:32,587 --> 00:45:34,006
And I'm here with you.

846
00:45:34,131 --> 00:45:36,340
But let's just be honest with
each other, okay, Pipes?

847
00:45:36,424 --> 00:45:38,384
I wanna know what's going on.

848
00:45:38,510 --> 00:45:40,929
Yes. I'm sorry that I
didn't tell you about Alex.

849
00:45:41,888 --> 00:45:42,889
It's okay.

850
00:45:43,015 --> 00:45:45,349
It has nothing to do with
me being attracted to her.

851
00:45:45,433 --> 00:45:47,853
Really. I just...

852
00:45:47,936 --> 00:45:49,395
I didn't want you to
know that I was in here

853
00:45:49,521 --> 00:45:52,732
with somebody
that I hate so much.

854
00:45:52,858 --> 00:45:55,735
Oh, my God, I swear,
sometimes when I'm around her,

855
00:45:55,861 --> 00:45:57,612
I feel like I'm going crazy.

856
00:45:57,696 --> 00:46:00,949
Well, as long as
you keep your figure.

857
00:46:01,491 --> 00:46:03,869
Hey, did I tell you what
happened in yoga? No.

858
00:46:03,952 --> 00:46:06,788
She was just there.
Trying to antagonize me.

859
00:46:07,580 --> 00:46:11,960
I swear, Larry, I could
smash her in the face.

860
00:46:12,711 --> 00:46:15,714
Okay, well, don't... Don't
do anything like that. Okay?

861
00:46:16,715 --> 00:46:18,550
Anyhow, about Alex...

862
00:46:18,717 --> 00:46:20,593
Oh, my God.
I bet it was her.

863
00:46:21,678 --> 00:46:23,972
I bet she's the one who's been
spreading rumors about me.

864
00:46:24,056 --> 00:46:27,267
I bet she told everybody
that I lied about the chicken!

865
00:46:27,391 --> 00:46:30,896
Okay, Piper, let's drop the chicken for now.
It's not important.

866
00:46:30,979 --> 00:46:31,938
It's my rep!

867
00:46:32,064 --> 00:46:34,900
Piper, it's not important.
This is real life.

868
00:46:35,025 --> 00:46:38,945
Please don't get dragged
into the prison drama.

869
00:46:39,071 --> 00:46:42,866
Look, I know it's like a fishbowl
in there, but try. Focus.

870
00:46:42,949 --> 00:46:44,189
Larry, I know
that you're right,

871
00:46:44,243 --> 00:46:45,327
but I have to
live in this fishbowl

872
00:46:45,409 --> 00:46:47,079
and it's just...

873
00:46:47,662 --> 00:46:50,040
WOMAN: Just let him do his
krumping and have a good time.

874
00:46:50,123 --> 00:46:51,375
...hard.

875
00:46:53,335 --> 00:46:54,378
I know.

876
00:46:56,380 --> 00:46:58,340
So, what were you saying?

877
00:46:58,422 --> 00:47:00,592
Oh. About Alex.

878
00:47:00,717 --> 00:47:02,468
I talked to my dad
about the indictment.

879
00:47:04,137 --> 00:47:05,222
And?

880
00:47:10,143 --> 00:47:14,064
She didn't name you. I guess it
was someone else from the ring.

881
00:47:18,610 --> 00:47:20,444
Piper, are you there?
Yeah, I'm here.

882
00:47:21,029 --> 00:47:23,323
Did you hear me?
Yes, I heard you.

883
00:47:23,447 --> 00:47:25,617
I know it's surprising,
but this is...

884
00:47:25,700 --> 00:47:27,119
Pipes, this is good, really,

885
00:47:27,202 --> 00:47:31,415
because now you don't have
to feel crazy, or angry.

886
00:47:31,497 --> 00:47:37,337
You can just do your time and
stay away from that asshole.

887
00:47:38,546 --> 00:47:41,007
It's just that,
Larry, now this...

888
00:47:43,551 --> 00:47:45,762
This means that
I'm the asshole.

889
00:47:46,221 --> 00:47:47,722
MAN OVER PA:
Swing shift guard detail.

890
00:47:47,806 --> 00:47:51,101
P.m. cell check to
commence at 2130 hours.

891
00:47:52,060 --> 00:47:54,104
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

892
00:48:04,156 --> 00:48:05,157
(INHALES)

893
00:48:33,726 --> 00:48:35,812
What are you talking about,
Cesar can't make it?

894
00:48:35,895 --> 00:48:37,216
I don't know.
That's what he said.

895
00:48:37,272 --> 00:48:38,672
I take a fall for
that motherfucker,

896
00:48:38,690 --> 00:48:40,025
the least he could do is visit.

897
00:48:41,734 --> 00:48:44,528
Is he paying rent?
Is he buying groceries?

898
00:48:44,612 --> 00:48:45,947
Yeah, but I don't want
him in the apartment.

899
00:48:46,031 --> 00:48:48,532
Why? Is he
bringing girls home?

900
00:48:48,658 --> 00:48:49,868
No. Because he...

901
00:48:49,951 --> 00:48:52,287
Hey, I have an idea, you
want to ask how we're doing?

902
00:48:52,371 --> 00:48:54,414
Mommy.
Answer the question.

903
00:48:54,538 --> 00:48:55,874
Is he fucking around?

904
00:48:56,333 --> 00:48:58,418
I did answer the question.

905
00:48:58,542 --> 00:49:00,920
You know we took a bus
three hours to get here?

906
00:49:01,046 --> 00:49:03,715
Mommy, I made a paper airplane.

907
00:49:04,674 --> 00:49:05,842
Are you fucking him?

908
00:49:05,967 --> 00:49:07,760
Please. You have
got to be kidding me.

909
00:49:09,262 --> 00:49:10,722
LUCY: Mommy!
What?

910
00:49:10,805 --> 00:49:12,224
I made a paper airplane.

911
00:49:12,349 --> 00:49:14,393
(SIGHS) Where's your
stupid paper airplane?

912
00:49:14,518 --> 00:49:15,601
At home.

913
00:49:15,727 --> 00:49:16,936
Well, then why do I care?

914
00:49:17,062 --> 00:49:19,823
You want to show me something? You
can't show me something I can't see!

915
00:49:20,732 --> 00:49:21,816
What are you, stupid?

916
00:49:24,986 --> 00:49:28,198
You tell that motherfucker
he better visit. He owes me.

917
00:49:28,281 --> 00:49:31,076
WOMAN OVER PA: When in the visitation
room, you're allowed two hugs.

918
00:49:31,617 --> 00:49:34,079
One on arrival,
and one on departure.

919
00:49:40,085 --> 00:49:41,378
Good, you're home.

920
00:49:43,004 --> 00:49:45,673
Won't you make us
something to eat?

921
00:49:53,723 --> 00:49:55,350
Take off. Be out.

922
00:49:59,020 --> 00:50:01,398
How your tits be so big,
your mom's so small, huh?

923
00:50:01,481 --> 00:50:02,690
Well, I guess I
get 'em from my dad.

924
00:50:02,774 --> 00:50:03,983
Yeah?

925
00:50:18,582 --> 00:50:19,958
You said five minutes.

926
00:50:20,041 --> 00:50:22,210
Please. I just need
five more minutes.

927
00:50:22,335 --> 00:50:25,880
That's all. This is a very
important phone call.

928
00:50:25,964 --> 00:50:29,008
I'm on hold. (WHISPERING)
It's about my company.

929
00:50:29,134 --> 00:50:31,635
Man, I doubt you even got a company.
You all talk.

930
00:50:31,970 --> 00:50:33,305
See, there you go.

931
00:50:33,430 --> 00:50:34,847
POLLY: Piper?
Are you still there?

932
00:50:34,973 --> 00:50:36,308
Yes, I'm right here.
What's going on?

933
00:50:36,391 --> 00:50:37,591
I'm in a conference with Weiner

934
00:50:37,641 --> 00:50:39,242
on the other line.
How do I punch you in?

935
00:50:39,978 --> 00:50:41,354
I don't know, it's your phone.

936
00:50:41,480 --> 00:50:43,731
Ugh. All right, hold on. I have to ask Pete.
I'll be right back.

937
00:50:43,815 --> 00:50:45,024
No, no, no! Polly, wait, I don't...
Pete!

938
00:50:45,150 --> 00:50:47,235
Polly, Polly, Polly...

939
00:50:47,360 --> 00:50:48,987
MAN OVER PA:
Please revise count.

940
00:50:49,112 --> 00:50:51,573
It is not clear.
Please conduct a recount.

941
00:50:59,581 --> 00:51:00,624
Oh.

942
00:51:03,543 --> 00:51:05,504
Hey. Hey!

943
00:51:05,587 --> 00:51:07,380
Hey! Hey! Hey!

944
00:51:07,506 --> 00:51:08,706
Hey! Get off, man!
There it is!

945
00:51:08,756 --> 00:51:10,674
Look!
There it is! There's the...

946
00:51:10,800 --> 00:51:13,512
Hey! Hey! Are you
using the phone?

947
00:51:13,637 --> 00:51:14,638
Yes! I'm on hold.

948
00:51:14,720 --> 00:51:17,974
Hey! Hey! Make your call
or free up the phone now.

949
00:51:23,271 --> 00:51:24,856
Okay, Piper?
I figured it out.

950
00:51:24,939 --> 00:51:27,140
Everyone's on the other line.
I'm punching you in, okay?

951
00:51:27,859 --> 00:51:31,112
Piper? Piper, are you there?

952
00:51:31,279 --> 00:51:33,448
Dandelion ain't here right now.

953
00:51:33,532 --> 00:51:35,074
She gone to chase the chicken.

954
00:51:40,038 --> 00:51:41,206
(CLUCKING)

955
00:51:42,790 --> 00:51:44,042
PORNSTACHE: Chapman!

956
00:51:45,751 --> 00:51:47,552
What did I tell you
about running in the yard?

957
00:51:47,587 --> 00:51:48,880
I'm sorry, sir.
It's just that...

958
00:51:49,005 --> 00:51:50,507
Both feet on the ground
at all times. What?

959
00:51:50,590 --> 00:51:53,677
Nothing. Just trying to get
some fitness, that's all.

960
00:51:53,759 --> 00:51:56,429
Two speeds in my yard.
Walk and shuffle.

961
00:52:12,696 --> 00:52:14,030
(CLUCKING)

962
00:52:58,450 --> 00:53:08,879
<font color="#ec14bd">Sync & corrections by honeybunny</font>
<font color="#ec14bd">www.addic7ed.com</font>

