﻿1
00:00:57,462 --> 00:01:07,967
<font color="#ec14bd">Sync & corrections by honeybunny</font>
<font color="#ec14bd">www.addic7ed.com</font>

2
00:01:16,692 --> 00:01:17,777
The President doesn't care

3
00:01:17,902 --> 00:01:19,029
about the Hispanic plight.

4
00:01:19,154 --> 00:01:21,865
He doesn't care
about poor Mexicans...

5
00:01:42,886 --> 00:01:45,722
Well, you didn't miss much, if
it makes you feel any better.

6
00:01:45,847 --> 00:01:47,155
Except movie night.

7
00:01:47,275 --> 00:01:49,726
We got Joe Versus the Volcano.
That was pretty good.

8
00:01:49,851 --> 00:01:51,895
And we got meatloaf twice.

9
00:01:52,229 --> 00:01:54,565
Personally,
I think it should be baked,

10
00:01:54,731 --> 00:01:57,067
and here they steam it
so it gets all pasty.

11
00:01:57,150 --> 00:01:59,319
Do not tell Red I said that.

12
00:01:59,403 --> 00:02:02,739
I mean, she knows, but she got
feelings just like everybody else.

13
00:02:03,407 --> 00:02:05,409
You know those good mashed
potatoes that Red makes,

14
00:02:05,534 --> 00:02:06,826
from the real
potatoes and not the box?

15
00:02:06,910 --> 00:02:07,911
Yeah.

16
00:02:08,036 --> 00:02:11,164
Maybe you could ask about getting
some of that served up tonight.

17
00:02:11,456 --> 00:02:12,499
You her girl.

18
00:02:13,041 --> 00:02:15,252
Well, she works up the menus
a week in advance, so...

19
00:02:16,253 --> 00:02:18,796
Think about what
I've been through.

20
00:02:21,592 --> 00:02:23,260
Can't promise anything.

21
00:02:36,398 --> 00:02:41,445
Twenty-six, 27, 28, 29, 30! Ha-ha!
Who's the big talker now?

22
00:02:41,570 --> 00:02:42,738
You were
counting too fast!

23
00:02:42,820 --> 00:02:44,864
Bullshit, Vause.
I told you, it can't be done.

24
00:02:44,948 --> 00:02:46,658
Six saltines in 30 seconds?

25
00:02:49,411 --> 00:02:54,625
You are a disgusting animal.
Okay? What the fuck?

26
00:02:54,750 --> 00:02:57,919
I mean, which is a quality
I greatly admire in a person.

27
00:02:58,002 --> 00:02:59,546
You're in touch
with your primal self.

28
00:03:00,922 --> 00:03:05,135
Yeah, well, my primal self cannot
resist a dare, apparently.

29
00:03:05,801 --> 00:03:09,514
Which is also how I ended up
with three broken toes

30
00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:11,433
and, briefly, chlamydia.

31
00:03:12,350 --> 00:03:13,477
And in prison.

32
00:03:13,602 --> 00:03:16,020
Well, that wasn't so much
a dare, as it was a deal.

33
00:03:18,523 --> 00:03:21,318
Officer Webster,
pick up extension 414.

34
00:03:28,492 --> 00:03:31,328
Hey, get over here.
You're missing a moment.

35
00:03:31,453 --> 00:03:33,664
Visitation will be
ending in five minutes.

36
00:03:35,915 --> 00:03:37,626
God, SHU must really suck ass.

37
00:03:37,709 --> 00:03:38,876
Man, she was in
there for two weeks.

38
00:03:39,002 --> 00:03:39,961
I've taken shits
longer than that.

39
00:03:44,299 --> 00:03:47,218
Hey, Kate Winslet.
See any icebergs?

40
00:03:50,430 --> 00:03:51,807
They're back again, Janae.

41
00:03:55,935 --> 00:03:57,895
Cut that out!

42
00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:01,566
Boys chase girls!

43
00:04:01,692 --> 00:04:03,151
Whatcha gonna do
if you catch us?

44
00:04:03,318 --> 00:04:04,986
Only one way to find out.

45
00:04:05,236 --> 00:04:06,655
Go back to your mama.

46
00:04:06,863 --> 00:04:08,615
Ooh...

47
00:04:24,506 --> 00:04:27,342
Janae! Quit showing off!

48
00:04:51,616 --> 00:04:54,745
Good morning. Welcome.

49
00:04:54,870 --> 00:04:56,663
- Hey!
- Ladies of the WAC.

50
00:04:56,747 --> 00:04:59,207
Are you taking us
to prom or something?

51
00:04:59,290 --> 00:05:00,411
Just close the door, please.

52
00:05:04,087 --> 00:05:05,422
Thank you.

53
00:05:07,382 --> 00:05:08,383
All right.

54
00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:13,430
Now, a small token
of my esteem.

55
00:05:14,013 --> 00:05:17,100
Dang, Healy.
That's proper!

56
00:05:17,768 --> 00:05:19,686
Oh!

57
00:05:20,186 --> 00:05:21,605
Now you talk
about this outside,

58
00:05:21,730 --> 00:05:23,147
you never see bear claws again.

59
00:05:23,273 --> 00:05:25,817
Silencio, Mr. Healy. We're
gonna be like Red's lady.

60
00:05:25,942 --> 00:05:27,068
What's her name?
The one that don't talk?

61
00:05:27,151 --> 00:05:28,403
Norma.

62
00:05:28,528 --> 00:05:29,780
We gonna be like four Normas.

63
00:05:30,906 --> 00:05:32,824
All right, now,
business,

64
00:05:32,948 --> 00:05:37,621
i.e. if you will, the concerns
of your fellow inmates.

65
00:05:37,953 --> 00:05:43,167
Mr. Healy, the pillow that we get
for sleeping is thin like paper.

66
00:05:43,293 --> 00:05:47,046
Sometimes, yo necessito two pillows.
For ergonomics.

67
00:05:47,130 --> 00:05:48,799
A second pillow?
Write it down.

68
00:05:49,132 --> 00:05:53,804
Okay, first of all, the hot sauce
in the commissary is bullshit.

69
00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:56,640
We want that Thailand sauce, the
one with the rooster on it.

70
00:05:57,307 --> 00:05:58,266
Rooster sauce.

71
00:05:58,349 --> 00:06:00,477
And second of all,
ain't no reason we can't

72
00:06:00,644 --> 00:06:02,771
get Fifty Shades of
Grey in the library!

73
00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:04,731
We talked about this,
Jefferson.

74
00:06:04,856 --> 00:06:06,691
Fed's not gonna
subsidize erotica.

75
00:06:07,651 --> 00:06:09,277
I've got a copy.

76
00:06:09,527 --> 00:06:10,904
I've got one, too.

77
00:06:12,572 --> 00:06:14,324
Fifty Shade.

78
00:06:15,325 --> 00:06:18,994
I withdraw my request. But Maria's
straight up about the pillows.

79
00:06:19,454 --> 00:06:20,996
Pillows again. Chapman.

80
00:06:23,207 --> 00:06:24,835
You're done?

81
00:06:24,918 --> 00:06:26,419
Far as I know.

82
00:06:27,253 --> 00:06:28,296
Okay.

83
00:06:29,965 --> 00:06:32,717
The thing is, I think
that a few basic changes

84
00:06:32,843 --> 00:06:35,637
could drastically
improve the quality of life.

85
00:06:36,220 --> 00:06:40,851
Like clinic hours every week
for preventative health care.

86
00:06:41,142 --> 00:06:42,477
And re-opening the track.

87
00:06:43,436 --> 00:06:45,522
And maybe legal counseling.

88
00:06:47,190 --> 00:06:48,232
And the GED program.

89
00:06:49,108 --> 00:06:53,070
Now, I understand that there's a
mold situation in the classroom,

90
00:06:53,196 --> 00:06:54,698
but this needs to be addressed.

91
00:06:54,865 --> 00:06:56,992
The inmates down the hill,
they get classes,

92
00:06:57,116 --> 00:06:59,243
and they are not
getting out any time soon.

93
00:06:59,828 --> 00:07:01,538
We are here for shorter stays.

94
00:07:01,872 --> 00:07:04,749
We should be learning
to improve ourselves,

95
00:07:04,875 --> 00:07:06,376
as students

96
00:07:06,543 --> 00:07:09,713
or even teachers.

97
00:07:10,714 --> 00:07:13,633
Something's telling me
she has a teacher in mind.

98
00:07:15,802 --> 00:07:16,803
Chang, you're up.

99
00:07:16,887 --> 00:07:18,889
Okay, Mr. Healy. Okay.

100
00:07:25,395 --> 00:07:26,938
Lay it on me, Chang.

101
00:07:27,063 --> 00:07:28,314
Okay.

102
00:07:33,403 --> 00:07:34,571
Good.

103
00:07:34,696 --> 00:07:36,537
We got a good list going here,
some good ideas.

104
00:07:36,573 --> 00:07:37,824
Now, the problem as I see it...

105
00:07:37,949 --> 00:07:39,200
No, sir, I really think that...

106
00:07:39,283 --> 00:07:41,912
...is that we have
a budget situation.

107
00:07:42,037 --> 00:07:44,414
Now, I can do my best,

108
00:07:45,248 --> 00:07:48,251
but it's gonna be hard for me
to do all these things

109
00:07:48,376 --> 00:07:51,212
and still be able to bring donuts
to our meetings every month.

110
00:07:56,092 --> 00:07:57,176
And coffee.

111
00:07:58,720 --> 00:08:00,597
Well, we tried.

112
00:08:05,852 --> 00:08:07,103
What just happened?

113
00:08:07,186 --> 00:08:08,521
You were there.

114
00:08:09,105 --> 00:08:10,690
We finally get an opportunity

115
00:08:10,815 --> 00:08:12,358
to make some improvements
around here and...

116
00:08:12,442 --> 00:08:14,193
Don't be gettin' all Amistad
on me, Chapman.

117
00:08:14,277 --> 00:08:16,446
Healy look like he
gunning for change?

118
00:08:16,529 --> 00:08:18,782
Okay, but what about your
campaign promises?

119
00:08:18,865 --> 00:08:20,145
Everyone say
shit to get elected.

120
00:08:20,241 --> 00:08:21,451
You ain't actually gotta do it.

121
00:08:21,576 --> 00:08:23,202
That's politics.

122
00:08:23,536 --> 00:08:25,663
I got a disciplinary
board hearing this week,

123
00:08:25,789 --> 00:08:29,084
which, if they don't take away
my good time, I go home.

124
00:08:29,584 --> 00:08:32,003
Healy said he would write
a letter vouching for me.

125
00:08:32,629 --> 00:08:34,297
I ain't looking to make waves.

126
00:08:34,380 --> 00:08:37,341
Glassy water. Smooth sailin'
right on out of here.

127
00:08:38,342 --> 00:08:42,847
So this whole WAC
thing is basically bullshit.

128
00:08:44,348 --> 00:08:45,976
Just take the donuts, girl.

129
00:08:50,814 --> 00:08:52,231
Can you believe her?

130
00:08:52,315 --> 00:08:55,192
That college bitch thinks
she can come up in here

131
00:08:55,318 --> 00:08:57,487
and take charge of
shit with her nice teeth

132
00:08:57,570 --> 00:08:59,739
and her pinky
stuck up in the air.

133
00:08:59,823 --> 00:09:01,324
She's got a surprise coming.

134
00:09:01,866 --> 00:09:03,159
Is it a pony?

135
00:09:03,952 --> 00:09:05,745
Just shut your trap, Lurch.

136
00:09:05,829 --> 00:09:08,205
Nobody cares what's comin'
outta them slit lickin' lips.

137
00:09:12,335 --> 00:09:13,920
Did you vote for her?
No.

138
00:09:14,045 --> 00:09:15,672
Did you vote for her?

139
00:09:15,797 --> 00:09:18,215
Who voted for that bitch,
raise your hand! Raise it.

140
00:09:19,550 --> 00:09:20,551
That's what I thought.

141
00:09:20,677 --> 00:09:24,681
Some Garden-of-Gethsemane
shit up in here, y'all.

142
00:09:24,848 --> 00:09:30,478
Chapman is a Judas Iscariot, cozied
on up to the High Priest Healy.

143
00:09:30,561 --> 00:09:32,022
And he throws out my vote.

144
00:09:32,105 --> 00:09:34,774
My votes that
were bestowed upon me

145
00:09:34,899 --> 00:09:37,568
from my Lord,
and gives her all the silver?

146
00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:42,699
So in this analogy,
you're Jesus Christ?

147
00:09:43,282 --> 00:09:45,035
I've been betrayed.

148
00:10:25,742 --> 00:10:28,036
Oh, gosh! Oh, no, no.

149
00:10:28,578 --> 00:10:30,413
Uh...

150
00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:36,920
Gonna be a while. I'm a little
backed up in here. Sorry.

151
00:10:51,684 --> 00:10:54,020
We were starting to
think you deserted us.

152
00:10:56,522 --> 00:11:01,485
I tried making that coconut cake myself.
Nicky called it "coco-not."

153
00:11:02,695 --> 00:11:04,948
What pain did you bring down
on her for that?

154
00:11:05,073 --> 00:11:09,326
She was right.
Your cake is inimitable.

155
00:11:11,579 --> 00:11:15,208
Norma got me an improve-your-vocabulary
book out of the library.

156
00:11:15,290 --> 00:11:18,461
You got to keep the brain
cells working, or they die.

157
00:11:18,962 --> 00:11:21,798
To be honest, there's a few things
I wouldn't mind forgetting.

158
00:11:22,799 --> 00:11:24,299
Norma saw you in the library,

159
00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:28,805
bent over a law book like a
boy hiding a titty magazine.

160
00:11:29,346 --> 00:11:31,557
I got interests
beyond coconut cake.

161
00:11:31,849 --> 00:11:34,144
So does every idiot in here.

162
00:11:35,061 --> 00:11:36,479
Where's my Mexican vanilla?

163
00:11:37,312 --> 00:11:38,313
Oh.

164
00:11:44,612 --> 00:11:48,616
Everything off the books
lives like Anne Frank now.

165
00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:04,339
Seems like a lot of trouble.

166
00:12:05,258 --> 00:12:08,845
You get too comfortable,
people take advantage.

167
00:12:11,181 --> 00:12:12,515
You got it under control?

168
00:12:13,891 --> 00:12:16,519
Don't go looking for miracles,
Claudette.

169
00:12:17,187 --> 00:12:20,023
You and me, we figured out
how to do time.

170
00:12:23,734 --> 00:12:27,655
Well, at least it's
better than SHU, right?

171
00:12:29,157 --> 00:12:32,409
I mean, the isolation
must just be terrible.

172
00:12:33,119 --> 00:12:34,204
Or not.

173
00:12:34,287 --> 00:12:35,913
I've never been to SHU.

174
00:12:36,622 --> 00:12:38,666
I've read that it can be
very loud down there,

175
00:12:38,749 --> 00:12:41,044
with people yelling
at each other all the time?

176
00:12:43,504 --> 00:12:45,173
When I said that
I'd never been to SHU,

177
00:12:45,298 --> 00:12:47,008
did that make me
sound like an asshole?

178
00:12:47,133 --> 00:12:48,343
Because obviously I didn't...

179
00:12:48,425 --> 00:12:50,053
Fuck, Chapman.

180
00:12:54,598 --> 00:12:55,599
Ah!

181
00:12:55,975 --> 00:12:59,062
Here's why
the floodlights went out.

182
00:13:00,021 --> 00:13:02,106
It looks like
a rat got to this.

183
00:13:02,232 --> 00:13:04,483
Ew! I fucking hate rats.

184
00:13:05,026 --> 00:13:07,904
My brother had one
while we were growing up.

185
00:13:08,029 --> 00:13:09,906
It was kind of cute, actually.

186
00:13:09,989 --> 00:13:11,741
He named it Antonio.

187
00:13:13,243 --> 00:13:15,578
I saw one chewed
up a baby's face.

188
00:13:15,703 --> 00:13:17,997
I named it "fuckin'
face-chewing rat."

189
00:13:18,706 --> 00:13:19,999
You gonna fix the wire or what?

190
00:13:20,124 --> 00:13:21,458
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

191
00:13:25,171 --> 00:13:26,172
Ah! Shit!

192
00:13:26,256 --> 00:13:27,631
Did you turn off the switch?

193
00:13:27,757 --> 00:13:29,092
I thought that you
turned off the switch.

194
00:13:29,217 --> 00:13:30,593
Oh, man!

195
00:13:30,676 --> 00:13:32,595
It's okay. It's my fault.

196
00:13:34,889 --> 00:13:37,600
So you're back
in the rooms, huh?

197
00:13:38,851 --> 00:13:40,811
I hope they didn't
stick you with De Marco.

198
00:13:40,937 --> 00:13:42,772
I mean, she's super
nice and everything,

199
00:13:42,897 --> 00:13:47,610
but, man, that breathing machine
can just drive you bonkers.

200
00:13:49,279 --> 00:13:52,782
You know, if you want,
I can make you some ear plugs.

201
00:13:52,865 --> 00:13:55,326
I take a little bit of
stuffing out of a pillow,

202
00:13:55,450 --> 00:13:57,954
and I just smush it
up in some Vaseline,

203
00:13:58,246 --> 00:14:01,791
and then I wrap it up in some
plastic wrap from the sack lunches.

204
00:14:01,874 --> 00:14:05,420
The rooms is full, all right?
I'm in the ghetto tonight.

205
00:14:05,628 --> 00:14:07,880
But you could still
use them in there.

206
00:14:07,964 --> 00:14:09,966
I'll make you some, okay?

207
00:14:12,302 --> 00:14:15,846
Jesus fucking shit.

208
00:14:16,597 --> 00:14:17,932
Sorry?

209
00:14:18,933 --> 00:14:20,059
What?

210
00:14:23,479 --> 00:14:24,563
It was you.

211
00:14:25,315 --> 00:14:26,316
What?

212
00:14:26,441 --> 00:14:28,318
The screwdriver what.

213
00:14:28,443 --> 00:14:30,820
Acting all sweet
like a piece of candy.

214
00:14:31,737 --> 00:14:34,324
Nobody's sweet in
here except for a reason.

215
00:14:35,825 --> 00:14:37,534
I don't know what
you're talking about.

216
00:14:37,660 --> 00:14:40,496
Do not fucking
lie to me, bitch.

217
00:14:41,372 --> 00:14:44,792
Do not fucking insult me
after what you done already.

218
00:14:53,217 --> 00:14:54,302
In my defense,

219
00:14:55,261 --> 00:14:56,846
I would just like
to point out that technically,

220
00:14:56,971 --> 00:14:58,812
you did not go down
because of the screwdriver.

221
00:14:58,848 --> 00:15:00,128
Technically,
you went down to SHU

222
00:15:00,183 --> 00:15:01,767
because you got all
up in Caputo's face.

223
00:15:01,851 --> 00:15:05,355
Lady, we in a tight-ass space
and I bench 140.

224
00:15:05,438 --> 00:15:08,316
You sure "technically" is how
you wanna handle this shit?

225
00:15:11,361 --> 00:15:12,611
Are you gonna say anything?

226
00:15:14,947 --> 00:15:16,240
I ain't a snitch.

227
00:15:22,579 --> 00:15:23,580
Damn!

228
00:15:26,376 --> 00:15:29,086
See? This one got
the same number on both ends.

229
00:15:29,212 --> 00:15:31,047
The first time you play that,
it's called a spinner.

230
00:15:31,130 --> 00:15:34,384
You have to play the ends
and the sides, both.

231
00:15:35,009 --> 00:15:37,594
Like a no-class girl
lets you use any hole.

232
00:15:39,347 --> 00:15:40,390
Yeah.

233
00:15:48,856 --> 00:15:52,402
These are all the places I'm
gonna travel when I get out.

234
00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:55,696
Starting with Anguilla.

235
00:15:55,779 --> 00:15:58,574
I read that Orlando Bloom
honeymooned there.

236
00:15:58,699 --> 00:16:00,139
And Courteney Cox
and David Arquette,

237
00:16:00,243 --> 00:16:01,660
even though that
didn't work out.

238
00:16:02,036 --> 00:16:05,664
I love the beach,
but I burn like a lobster,

239
00:16:05,748 --> 00:16:07,417
so I'm gonna get
a good swim shirt

240
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:10,836
and, bonus, it's gonna hide
the gallbladder scar.

241
00:16:19,970 --> 00:16:21,431
Oh, yeah. Sure.

242
00:16:21,556 --> 00:16:24,434
Come on. Okay, bitches,

243
00:16:24,559 --> 00:16:27,353
who's first in line
for some puppy lovin'?

244
00:16:27,770 --> 00:16:29,272
Puppy lovin'!

245
00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:33,692
He's so cute.

246
00:16:33,776 --> 00:16:35,903
He looks just like my dog
from when I was a kid.

247
00:16:35,986 --> 00:16:37,447
Except mine was
more of a Dachshund,

248
00:16:37,613 --> 00:16:39,115
but the nostril
part is the same.

249
00:16:39,365 --> 00:16:40,908
You look just like Chummy.

250
00:16:41,284 --> 00:16:42,952
Make him do a trick.

251
00:16:43,077 --> 00:16:44,870
She doesn't know any yet.

252
00:16:44,995 --> 00:16:46,581
Well, maybe you can
take some time off

253
00:16:46,705 --> 00:16:48,249
from sitting
around eating all day,

254
00:16:48,332 --> 00:16:50,209
and teach him something.

255
00:16:52,378 --> 00:16:53,879
Fucking asshole.

256
00:16:53,963 --> 00:16:56,799
Chapman wrote me three letters
for my case and it did fuck-all.

257
00:16:56,924 --> 00:16:59,135
They ain't lettin' people out who
hasn't done their whole time.

258
00:16:59,302 --> 00:17:02,472
Well, I ain't people.
I'm training for this, bitch.

259
00:17:02,638 --> 00:17:06,016
And I ain't never comin' back,
neither, not like the rest of y'all.

260
00:17:06,434 --> 00:17:09,812
Like Oprah say,
"the road less traveled."

261
00:17:09,937 --> 00:17:11,814
You know, that doesn't mean
what everybody thinks it means.

262
00:17:12,064 --> 00:17:14,650
Aw, shit, we about to
get educated and shit.

263
00:17:14,775 --> 00:17:17,320
No, no, no. I'm just saying that
everyone thinks the poem means

264
00:17:17,403 --> 00:17:19,322
to break away from the crowd
and, like, do your own thing.

265
00:17:19,447 --> 00:17:21,324
But if you read it,
Frost is very clear

266
00:17:21,491 --> 00:17:23,367
that the two roads
are exactly the same.

267
00:17:23,493 --> 00:17:25,119
He just chooses one at random.

268
00:17:25,202 --> 00:17:27,704
And then it's only later at a dinner
party, when he's talking about it

269
00:17:27,830 --> 00:17:28,956
that he tells
everybody he chose

270
00:17:29,039 --> 00:17:30,679
the road less
traveled by, but he's lying.

271
00:17:35,087 --> 00:17:36,797
So the point of the poem is,

272
00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:38,174
that everyone
wants to look back

273
00:17:38,299 --> 00:17:39,509
and think that
their choices mattered,

274
00:17:39,634 --> 00:17:43,262
but in reality, shit just happens
the way that it happens,

275
00:17:43,346 --> 00:17:45,598
and it does not mean anything.

276
00:17:47,099 --> 00:17:49,852
I will probably kill
her in her sleep tonight.

277
00:17:49,977 --> 00:17:51,854
Wake me up so I can watch.

278
00:17:53,189 --> 00:17:54,565
I'm gonna...

279
00:17:56,192 --> 00:17:57,693
Laundry.

280
00:17:57,776 --> 00:18:00,446
You ever notice how some dog
breeds, they sound kind of dirty?

281
00:18:00,946 --> 00:18:05,493
Like, shih tzu,
cocker, Jack-something.

282
00:18:06,869 --> 00:18:07,911
Poodle.

283
00:18:08,204 --> 00:18:11,332
That is good.

284
00:18:12,208 --> 00:18:15,211
I didn't think of that one.
That is very clever.

285
00:18:15,961 --> 00:18:18,548
Hey, you know what, guys?
Look at that face.

286
00:18:18,631 --> 00:18:20,508
I'm gonna call her Little Boo.
Aw!

287
00:18:20,591 --> 00:18:23,760
Little Boo.
Who's a little boo? Yes!

288
00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:25,804
Hello?

289
00:18:25,929 --> 00:18:27,056
It's closed.

290
00:18:29,350 --> 00:18:30,393
Alex?

291
00:18:33,979 --> 00:18:36,232
I was just gonna
drop this off, but...

292
00:18:37,567 --> 00:18:38,775
Tomorrow.

293
00:18:38,901 --> 00:18:39,902
Just give it.

294
00:18:42,405 --> 00:18:43,406
Give it to me.

295
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:47,410
Attention all personnel,

296
00:18:47,493 --> 00:18:50,246
be advised count is off. Can
we please conduct a recount?

297
00:18:58,421 --> 00:19:01,006
Do you remember the Four
Seasons in the Seychelles?

298
00:19:06,262 --> 00:19:08,556
Gosh, we just threw
our laundry into the hallway,

299
00:19:08,639 --> 00:19:10,516
it was like 40 bucks
for a pair of pants.

300
00:19:21,193 --> 00:19:22,236
Hey.

301
00:19:25,364 --> 00:19:27,366
I've been thinking about it...

302
00:19:29,034 --> 00:19:30,035
...a lot.

303
00:19:32,871 --> 00:19:34,998
And I just
wanted to let you know

304
00:19:35,124 --> 00:19:37,293
that there are
no hard feelings.

305
00:19:37,501 --> 00:19:42,131
I was pretty angry,
but, I'm over it.

306
00:19:44,258 --> 00:19:46,135
So, um...

307
00:19:48,137 --> 00:19:49,430
Friend?

308
00:19:51,474 --> 00:19:52,475
Wow.

309
00:19:54,644 --> 00:19:56,312
That's really
big of you, Pipes.

310
00:20:03,902 --> 00:20:04,903
It's not a club.

311
00:20:04,987 --> 00:20:06,113
It's a class.

312
00:20:06,238 --> 00:20:08,198
They teach you to
dance on a pole.

313
00:20:08,991 --> 00:20:13,996
If you want to be a stripper,
you can wait until I die.

314
00:20:14,204 --> 00:20:19,585
It's not stripping. It's for nice
ladies, housewives. For exercise.

315
00:20:20,002 --> 00:20:23,714
That's what they tell you!

316
00:20:24,173 --> 00:20:26,717
Then one day you
wake up in Atlantic City...

317
00:20:27,176 --> 00:20:29,011
where girls are trash...

318
00:20:29,094 --> 00:20:31,806
and I'm lighting candles
under your picture.

319
00:20:32,556 --> 00:20:37,186
Can we please speak
English at the table?

320
00:20:40,606 --> 00:20:42,274
Just at the table?

321
00:20:49,573 --> 00:20:52,034
Two more years
for a green card.

322
00:20:53,202 --> 00:20:54,453
Be nice.

323
00:20:54,745 --> 00:20:56,664
You don't have to fuck him.

324
00:20:57,914 --> 00:21:01,418
I should be lucky, a decent
man wants to fuck me.

325
00:21:03,838 --> 00:21:04,839
Oy.

326
00:21:05,047 --> 00:21:06,048
English.

327
00:21:10,386 --> 00:21:11,554
He's not eating.

328
00:21:13,013 --> 00:21:14,264
English.

329
00:21:18,227 --> 00:21:20,855
You look very
pretty in that dress.

330
00:21:21,564 --> 00:21:24,941
Thank you, Sam. It is very...

331
00:21:26,902 --> 00:21:27,903
...blue.

332
00:21:34,910 --> 00:21:36,751
You guys ever notice how,
once you're a couple,

333
00:21:36,787 --> 00:21:38,707
you pretty much only hang out
with other couples?

334
00:21:39,582 --> 00:21:43,836
A guy, a girl and another guy?
It just looks weird.

335
00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:45,838
People probably just assume
you're divorced.

336
00:21:46,589 --> 00:21:49,425
Oh. Great, so,
I look divorced,

337
00:21:49,550 --> 00:21:53,970
which conveys sadness and
ex-wife shit and lawyers' fees,

338
00:21:54,096 --> 00:21:56,223
or I look single,
34 and single,

339
00:21:56,348 --> 00:21:58,475
which must mean there's
something wrong with me.

340
00:21:58,601 --> 00:22:01,478
Like, you keep
large reptiles in tanks.

341
00:22:01,604 --> 00:22:03,689
Or I have a very special
relationship with my mother.

342
00:22:04,774 --> 00:22:06,901
I just look like a loser.

343
00:22:07,109 --> 00:22:08,549
Why don't you
switch seats with Pete?

344
00:22:08,652 --> 00:22:10,172
You're okay being a loser,
right, babe?

345
00:22:10,487 --> 00:22:11,822
I don't wanna
look like a loser.

346
00:22:11,947 --> 00:22:15,743
Okay, now look, what am I
complaining about, right?

347
00:22:15,826 --> 00:22:17,119
I mean, seriously, you know?

348
00:22:17,244 --> 00:22:20,205
We're sitting here, we're gonna
enjoy some small plates,

349
00:22:20,289 --> 00:22:21,998
while Piper sits in prison.

350
00:22:22,124 --> 00:22:24,042
You know what? Fuck Piper.

351
00:22:25,294 --> 00:22:27,003
She's in prison and it sucks.

352
00:22:27,129 --> 00:22:28,756
Let's also
stipulate there are children

353
00:22:28,881 --> 00:22:30,507
are dying of
diarrhea in Malawi.

354
00:22:30,633 --> 00:22:32,914
That doesn't mean we don't get
to complain about our lives.

355
00:22:32,927 --> 00:22:36,012
I am pregnant and the heat in our
apartment is always too high

356
00:22:36,138 --> 00:22:38,557
and it gives me nosebleeds,
and that is happening.

357
00:22:38,641 --> 00:22:41,811
Pete isn't getting laid and
he's grown that horrible beard.

358
00:22:41,936 --> 00:22:43,145
You look like a loser.

359
00:22:43,896 --> 00:22:45,606
We're all
allowed to feel shitty

360
00:22:45,731 --> 00:22:47,441
about things in our
lives that are shitty.

361
00:22:47,566 --> 00:22:50,360
And happy about
things that are awesome.

362
00:22:50,486 --> 00:22:52,154
Like this awesome beard!
Ugh.

363
00:22:52,237 --> 00:22:53,363
And your column.

364
00:22:53,489 --> 00:22:54,949
What? That's happening?

365
00:22:55,115 --> 00:22:58,201
Who can resist a "Felonious
Fiancee" story, right?

366
00:22:59,495 --> 00:23:01,664
Yeah,
it's, it's totally happening.

367
00:23:01,789 --> 00:23:03,958
New York Times, baby.
"Modern Love."

368
00:23:04,124 --> 00:23:06,000
That's huge!
Yeah.

369
00:23:06,168 --> 00:23:08,504
Does Piper know?
Is she cool about it?

370
00:23:09,003 --> 00:23:11,340
I mean, sort of.

371
00:23:11,465 --> 00:23:15,928
Yeah, I mean, she's
sorting out her feelings,

372
00:23:16,136 --> 00:23:17,847
I guess, you know.

373
00:23:17,972 --> 00:23:22,309
I'm going to tell her tomorrow, you know.
Now that it's for sure.

374
00:23:29,483 --> 00:23:30,484
Oh, man!

375
00:23:39,117 --> 00:23:41,035
What's up with that, girl?

376
00:23:47,125 --> 00:23:49,043
Would you shut the fuck up.

377
00:23:49,586 --> 00:23:52,006
I know you ain't fucking
with my beauty rest, yo.

378
00:23:52,130 --> 00:23:53,841
It's fucking Watson, man.

379
00:23:54,466 --> 00:23:57,093
They closed
the track on me, haters.

380
00:23:57,219 --> 00:23:59,555
I ain't gonna get soft
like the rest of y'all.

381
00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:00,960
Look, none of that's
gonna matter

382
00:24:01,055 --> 00:24:03,183
when they throw your
ass in SHU, part two.

383
00:24:03,266 --> 00:24:05,519
I got 10 minutes before
the CO come back around.

384
00:24:05,602 --> 00:24:07,980
Man, somebody get this bitch
a hamster wheel.

385
00:24:09,481 --> 00:24:11,358
What you gonna do
about it, Jemima?

386
00:24:11,942 --> 00:24:13,193
The hell you just call me?

387
00:24:14,444 --> 00:24:16,947
I said, what you gonna do?

388
00:24:18,699 --> 00:24:20,283
Lightning fast!

389
00:24:21,159 --> 00:24:22,639
Did you see
the Fillmore coach's face?

390
00:24:23,412 --> 00:24:26,498
He had no idea what happened to him.
You happened to him.

391
00:24:26,582 --> 00:24:27,958
I just ran, Coach.

392
00:24:28,124 --> 00:24:29,485
Well,
Watson, you just ran yourself

393
00:24:29,501 --> 00:24:30,781
into the high
school record book.

394
00:24:31,336 --> 00:24:32,713
That gonna help
with scholarships?

395
00:24:32,838 --> 00:24:34,439
Girl, colleges will
be fighting over you.

396
00:24:36,258 --> 00:24:37,676
Now, you get dressed.
Okay.

397
00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:40,804
I'll introduce you around, all right?
They're all waiting.

398
00:25:01,742 --> 00:25:02,785
You ran good.

399
00:25:03,744 --> 00:25:04,745
I know it.

400
00:25:11,961 --> 00:25:17,091
The universe did you wrong. Then
they took away your track, I get it.

401
00:25:17,967 --> 00:25:19,885
What you talking 'bout,
you get it?

402
00:25:19,969 --> 00:25:22,554
Yo, go on back to the suburbs,
string cheese.

403
00:25:23,179 --> 00:25:26,182
I was like you once.
Pissed off,

404
00:25:27,309 --> 00:25:29,979
thought the world
owed me something.

405
00:25:30,104 --> 00:25:33,482
It took me a long time
to let go of that anger.

406
00:25:33,690 --> 00:25:37,151
Bitch, you lying to yourself with
this whole Namaste bullshit.

407
00:25:37,360 --> 00:25:39,113
You're a step ahead already,

408
00:25:39,195 --> 00:25:42,449
channeling your feelings
through physical activity,

409
00:25:42,532 --> 00:25:45,744
which means,
the mind and body connect.

410
00:25:46,620 --> 00:25:50,499
Who touched you, yo?
Was it your uncle?

411
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:54,336
Your daddy?

412
00:25:54,962 --> 00:25:59,341
Okay, you want to project your
issues onto me? That's cool.

413
00:26:01,343 --> 00:26:02,678
But I feel bad for you.

414
00:26:04,096 --> 00:26:08,684
That negative energy
is gonna eat you up inside.

415
00:26:09,852 --> 00:26:11,770
Man, you this deep in the shit,

416
00:26:11,895 --> 00:26:13,814
you must have done
something fucking evil.

417
00:26:14,648 --> 00:26:15,649
Huh?

418
00:26:17,567 --> 00:26:19,361
Why you in here, yo?

419
00:26:20,696 --> 00:26:22,156
Did you kill someone?

420
00:26:23,615 --> 00:26:25,701
You fucked a kid?

421
00:26:26,035 --> 00:26:27,036
Oh!

422
00:26:28,537 --> 00:26:29,997
You kill a kid?

423
00:26:39,381 --> 00:26:41,050
That's what I thought.

424
00:26:45,721 --> 00:26:46,722
Huh!

425
00:27:04,073 --> 00:27:06,158
Chapman, come in.

426
00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:08,744
Or vojdite,
as they say in Kiev.

427
00:27:08,952 --> 00:27:09,953
Ahh!

428
00:27:10,412 --> 00:27:11,705
Are you planning a vacation?

429
00:27:11,872 --> 00:27:13,247
If I were,
it would be somewhere

430
00:27:13,373 --> 00:27:14,773
you drink rum out
of a mini volcano.

431
00:27:16,001 --> 00:27:17,502
What can I do for you?

432
00:27:18,294 --> 00:27:19,295
The track.

433
00:27:19,963 --> 00:27:21,923
You know, I once saw this
lecture on YouTube called

434
00:27:21,924 --> 00:27:23,800
"23 and 1/2 Hours."

435
00:27:23,926 --> 00:27:26,803
It's one of those things where
someone draws on a whiteboard?

436
00:27:26,929 --> 00:27:28,262
And it says...

437
00:27:28,805 --> 00:27:31,165
Well, if the Internet says it,
then we better listen up, eh?

438
00:27:33,018 --> 00:27:34,019
Hmm.

439
00:27:35,771 --> 00:27:38,774
How much money does this institution
spend on healthcare per year?

440
00:27:40,358 --> 00:27:44,696
Walking for a half an hour a day
reduces the risk of anxiety,

441
00:27:44,905 --> 00:27:48,784
arthritis, depression, things
like dementia and diabetes.

442
00:27:48,867 --> 00:27:49,910
It helps with everything.

443
00:27:49,993 --> 00:27:53,038
If you could save money
on medical expenses

444
00:27:53,122 --> 00:27:56,374
with something as simple as
walking, why wouldn't you?

445
00:27:57,126 --> 00:27:58,207
I mean, in the long term...

446
00:27:58,292 --> 00:28:02,089
No one here gives a crap
about the long term, Chapman.

447
00:28:02,965 --> 00:28:04,007
Yo, Preparation H.

448
00:28:05,550 --> 00:28:07,761
Oops. Sorry.

449
00:28:07,970 --> 00:28:11,098
I'll come back when you're
done taking orders.

450
00:28:15,269 --> 00:28:16,812
Sitting around all day
is the worst possible thing

451
00:28:16,937 --> 00:28:18,480
that you can do for your body.

452
00:28:18,605 --> 00:28:19,765
We're already doing the time.

453
00:28:19,815 --> 00:28:21,233
I've got a deal
for you, Chapman.

454
00:28:23,193 --> 00:28:27,990
Caputo thinks a CO's been putting
inside photos on the Internet,

455
00:28:28,364 --> 00:28:31,701
but I think that kind of nonsense
is too stupid even for a CO.

456
00:28:32,077 --> 00:28:33,411
I don't know
what you're asking.

457
00:28:34,746 --> 00:28:38,917
Let's say an inmate is hiding a
camera or a cell phone or something.

458
00:28:40,085 --> 00:28:44,464
And you find it for me, I'll take
a look at opening that track.

459
00:28:47,509 --> 00:28:49,385
Prison's a big place,
Mr. Healy.

460
00:28:50,179 --> 00:28:52,181
I have confidence in you.

461
00:29:08,071 --> 00:29:11,283
Prisoner return to custody.
Prisoner return to custody.

462
00:29:11,741 --> 00:29:15,411
What's with the grin, Bennett? You
got some new silk panties on?

463
00:29:18,373 --> 00:29:22,044
Or what,
you get laid or something?

464
00:29:25,255 --> 00:29:26,882
Oh, shit!

465
00:29:26,965 --> 00:29:29,218
Bennett got laid!

466
00:29:30,219 --> 00:29:33,555
Come on, man. Spill the beans,
you fucking pussy monster.

467
00:29:33,638 --> 00:29:34,848
Was she Asian?

468
00:29:34,973 --> 00:29:36,183
No.

469
00:29:36,975 --> 00:29:39,477
I hear their
shit goes sideways.

470
00:29:41,230 --> 00:29:43,065
Well? Go ahead.

471
00:29:45,692 --> 00:29:46,985
Okay, I got laid.

472
00:29:47,069 --> 00:29:51,573
Yes! I knew it! I knew it,
you dirty whore! Come on.

473
00:29:52,407 --> 00:29:54,784
I couldn't be prouder if I was your dad.

474
00:29:55,744 --> 00:29:59,248
Tell me, man.
What about her tits?

475
00:29:59,331 --> 00:30:03,001
Were they like big
floppy fucking milk jugs

476
00:30:03,085 --> 00:30:04,920
or a nice,
tight, little handful?

477
00:30:05,045 --> 00:30:06,213
What was it?

478
00:30:09,758 --> 00:30:10,759
They were fake.

479
00:30:10,926 --> 00:30:11,927
Oh!

480
00:30:12,552 --> 00:30:17,307
She's half-Asian,
half-Brazilian.

481
00:30:19,935 --> 00:30:21,103
She's got this sister.

482
00:30:24,647 --> 00:30:26,275
Jesus fucking Christ.

483
00:30:29,194 --> 00:30:33,865
Miss Jefferson, why do you
deserve to be released?

484
00:30:33,949 --> 00:30:35,284
Thank you, sir.

485
00:30:35,367 --> 00:30:36,952
Let the record show

486
00:30:37,077 --> 00:30:39,955
I only had three infractions
for all my time here.

487
00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:44,293
One was for smacking a bitch for not
respecting my ice machine choices,

488
00:30:44,418 --> 00:30:48,463
and, well, the second...
They was bullshit.

489
00:30:48,546 --> 00:30:52,008
Also, I ain't never missed a
day workin' in the library.

490
00:30:52,217 --> 00:30:56,179
Don't say, "workin'," say, "employed."
The shit sound more elegant.

491
00:30:56,471 --> 00:30:59,015
Also, maybe go easy
on the bitch-smacking?

492
00:30:59,141 --> 00:31:00,392
Like, don't bring that shit up.

493
00:31:01,310 --> 00:31:03,228
All right.
Miss Jefferson,

494
00:31:03,353 --> 00:31:05,314
what have you learned from
your time in prison?

495
00:31:05,439 --> 00:31:07,649
Learned?
I ain't learned nothing.

496
00:31:07,774 --> 00:31:11,069
I came in this motherfucker
innocent, I'm still innocent.

497
00:31:11,153 --> 00:31:12,154
You keep talkin'
about innocent,

498
00:31:12,321 --> 00:31:13,280
you gonna slide on back in here

499
00:31:13,363 --> 00:31:15,031
like you got
a magnet up your ass.

500
00:31:15,157 --> 00:31:16,199
I ain't do nothing.

501
00:31:16,325 --> 00:31:17,617
Look, me, neither, all right?

502
00:31:17,742 --> 00:31:20,383
We are all just in here 'cause we
took a wrong turn goin' to church.

503
00:31:21,163 --> 00:31:25,250
Listen, what you did or didn't do.
That shit is irrelevant now.

504
00:31:25,334 --> 00:31:26,668
You gotta show remorse, fool.

505
00:31:26,751 --> 00:31:29,671
Tell 'em you met Jesus, you go
and seen the error of your ways.

506
00:31:29,796 --> 00:31:31,840
Now you gonna help
the underprivileged youth

507
00:31:31,965 --> 00:31:33,967
learn to play chess or whatnot.

508
00:31:34,050 --> 00:31:36,251
You know, so they don't end up
like your sorry ass self.

509
00:31:36,303 --> 00:31:37,471
Man, I ain't sorry!

510
00:31:37,553 --> 00:31:38,972
Aye, look, look, look.
This bitch!

511
00:31:39,055 --> 00:31:40,182
Tell 'em, tell 'em
you goin' to college.

512
00:31:40,307 --> 00:31:41,557
Man, what if I did?

513
00:31:43,059 --> 00:31:45,187
What you gonna major in?
Ebonics?

514
00:31:45,395 --> 00:31:46,980
I could be a law secretary.

515
00:31:47,063 --> 00:31:50,150
The shit I learned in my job, I'm
like Rain Man with that shit.

516
00:31:50,233 --> 00:31:52,902
You know what, sit your ass down.
It's time to get serious.

517
00:31:56,698 --> 00:31:58,074
What you gonna do about hair?

518
00:31:58,241 --> 00:31:59,242
Oh!

519
00:32:05,790 --> 00:32:07,876
But if you get
some puta pregnant...

520
00:33:14,943 --> 00:33:17,612
Gonna go and
bounce on daddy's lap?

521
00:33:18,947 --> 00:33:19,948
What did I do now?

522
00:33:20,449 --> 00:33:22,075
Don't be all cute, college.

523
00:33:23,952 --> 00:33:26,538
Have you seen my teeth?
Like, really?

524
00:33:26,955 --> 00:33:28,123
Wow. They're...

525
00:33:28,873 --> 00:33:29,958
Pretty fucked up, huh?

526
00:33:30,125 --> 00:33:31,209
Yeah.

527
00:33:31,376 --> 00:33:32,710
Genetics mostly.

528
00:33:33,044 --> 00:33:34,045
Oh.

529
00:33:34,463 --> 00:33:37,090
But my cousin, she's doin'
15 over at Lexington,

530
00:33:37,173 --> 00:33:41,761
and she got a whole new set from
the United States of America,

531
00:33:41,844 --> 00:33:43,638
D-O-C.

532
00:33:44,514 --> 00:33:45,765
Congratulations.

533
00:33:46,391 --> 00:33:48,232
So it's fine that
you're teacher's pet and all,

534
00:33:48,268 --> 00:33:49,978
but let's,
like, see what you can do.

535
00:33:52,481 --> 00:33:53,523
You want new teeth?

536
00:33:56,318 --> 00:33:58,987
Oh! Because of WAC.

537
00:33:59,529 --> 00:34:02,324
The thing is, I don't think I can.
It's not even a real thing.

538
00:34:02,449 --> 00:34:04,700
You think you're some kind
of special, don't you?

539
00:34:04,867 --> 00:34:06,202
No, I'm serious. It's a scam.

540
00:34:06,328 --> 00:34:07,703
Which, when you think about it,

541
00:34:07,829 --> 00:34:09,705
we really all
should've seen coming.

542
00:34:09,831 --> 00:34:12,501
Let me
tell you something, college.

543
00:34:13,709 --> 00:34:16,671
They're gonna treat you nice
and they're gonna use you.

544
00:34:18,006 --> 00:34:20,425
Then when you're all used up,

545
00:34:20,634 --> 00:34:24,095
you ain't gonna be nothin'.

546
00:34:24,846 --> 00:34:26,264
Knock it off, Pennsatucky.

547
00:34:28,642 --> 00:34:31,853
You sellin' us out? For what?

548
00:34:44,907 --> 00:34:48,119
Now, if it was me, I think I'd leave
the grunt work to the grunts.

549
00:34:48,203 --> 00:34:49,204
Hmm.

550
00:34:49,704 --> 00:34:53,708
I let the girls do this, half the
potato comes off with the peel.

551
00:34:55,043 --> 00:34:59,714
Seems to me like you're just
aching to put that down for a few

552
00:35:00,590 --> 00:35:01,675
and make me a sandwich.

553
00:35:02,509 --> 00:35:03,759
Not particularly.

554
00:35:13,936 --> 00:35:14,979
What kind?

555
00:35:16,565 --> 00:35:17,982
Balogna and cheese.

556
00:35:20,860 --> 00:35:22,237
No mustard.

557
00:35:23,572 --> 00:35:24,947
Double the mayo.

558
00:35:25,865 --> 00:35:28,034
Oh...

559
00:35:28,243 --> 00:35:29,642
This is great.

560
00:35:31,204 --> 00:35:36,876
This makes me very happy.

561
00:35:38,920 --> 00:35:39,921
See?

562
00:35:41,631 --> 00:35:44,008
You didn't want to
do it at first, right?

563
00:35:44,092 --> 00:35:47,970
But, now, I'm happy,
and it's no big deal for you.

564
00:35:48,096 --> 00:35:49,389
What do you want?

565
00:35:49,514 --> 00:35:50,806
I wanna be friends.

566
00:35:53,351 --> 00:35:55,895
Friends who take
care of each other.

567
00:35:57,843 --> 00:36:00,887
You got boxes coming in
with a little something extra.

568
00:36:01,596 --> 00:36:03,181
Maybe your guy gets with my guy

569
00:36:03,306 --> 00:36:04,891
and brings in
something extra for me.

570
00:36:06,768 --> 00:36:08,478
No problem.

571
00:36:08,561 --> 00:36:12,524
Just tell me if you want
zit cream or pantyhose.

572
00:36:13,525 --> 00:36:17,904
What my guy sends, it's a little
more of a specialty item.

573
00:36:19,405 --> 00:36:21,574
Since when are
pills so special?

574
00:36:22,492 --> 00:36:23,535
Give you 5%.

575
00:36:26,538 --> 00:36:29,916
What am I supposed to do with 5%?
Burn it for heat?

576
00:36:31,376 --> 00:36:34,046
My commissary maxes out at $300

577
00:36:34,212 --> 00:36:36,882
and I got all
the toothpaste I need.

578
00:36:37,423 --> 00:36:40,177
10%, final offer.

579
00:36:42,220 --> 00:36:43,262
I...

580
00:36:45,015 --> 00:36:49,728
...don't do that shit!

581
00:36:50,020 --> 00:36:55,441
This shit, that shit, blue shit, bat shit!
It doesn't matter what you do.

582
00:36:56,693 --> 00:36:58,945
It's the doing
that makes you dirty.

583
00:37:00,197 --> 00:37:02,407
Don't play games with me, Red.

584
00:37:03,491 --> 00:37:05,911
You got no more moves, Mendez.

585
00:37:07,746 --> 00:37:09,873
This is it, man.

586
00:37:11,666 --> 00:37:14,836
There is nothing here.

587
00:37:17,047 --> 00:37:20,258
You got nothing on me.

588
00:37:33,605 --> 00:37:35,815
Oh, man!

589
00:37:39,236 --> 00:37:42,114
Guess things just
got messy in here.

590
00:37:49,829 --> 00:37:52,249
Everything's been deleted off this
phone except for these photos.

591
00:37:52,331 --> 00:37:54,126
I know! People, right?

592
00:37:54,209 --> 00:37:56,002
Well, where was it?
In the trash can.

593
00:37:56,169 --> 00:37:57,170
Where?

594
00:37:58,004 --> 00:37:59,547
I don't know, I just found it.

595
00:38:01,258 --> 00:38:02,759
You know,
I appreciate that fact that

596
00:38:02,884 --> 00:38:04,385
you don't wanna
snitch on anyone.

597
00:38:05,095 --> 00:38:08,014
The way these inmates treat
snitches, it's ugly.

598
00:38:09,224 --> 00:38:13,186
But if you can't tell me
who owns this phone,

599
00:38:13,311 --> 00:38:15,480
I'm afraid I can't
help you with the track.

600
00:38:15,814 --> 00:38:18,650
That is not what you said to me.
You said specifically...

601
00:38:18,733 --> 00:38:23,696
I'm sorry, I don't know what you heard.
But, unless I have a name...

602
00:38:28,451 --> 00:38:29,535
Enjoy the phone.

603
00:38:32,664 --> 00:38:34,415
Nice work, Chapman.

604
00:38:37,169 --> 00:38:40,672
I'm giving you one more minute to
pout and then I'm shaving you bald.

605
00:38:42,257 --> 00:38:43,716
Sporting a chunk
of white girl hair,

606
00:38:43,842 --> 00:38:45,403
look like you took
a scalp or some shit.

607
00:38:46,178 --> 00:38:47,595
Yo, yo, you need
to get you that

608
00:38:47,720 --> 00:38:49,139
Michelle Obama hair, for reals.

609
00:38:49,222 --> 00:38:51,683
White folks scared of Obama.

610
00:38:51,850 --> 00:38:56,688
I wanna look like Mo'Nique
from Essence magazine, 2008.

611
00:38:56,771 --> 00:38:58,148
Girl, please, ain't enough
relaxer in the world

612
00:38:58,231 --> 00:38:59,232
for that bullshit.

613
00:38:59,357 --> 00:39:01,193
Now what makes you
so sure the board is white?

614
00:39:01,318 --> 00:39:02,277
Point. True.

615
00:39:02,360 --> 00:39:05,030
There be brothers on the board,
I'm gonna be free at last, yo,

616
00:39:05,113 --> 00:39:08,200
'cause ain't no black man
gonna let a fine black woman

617
00:39:08,283 --> 00:39:10,660
such as me hide
her light in jail.

618
00:39:10,743 --> 00:39:14,331
Fool, brother is gonna be harder
on you, to show he got no bias.

619
00:39:14,413 --> 00:39:16,208
Shit, you better
hope for the whities.

620
00:39:16,374 --> 00:39:17,542
Yo, hope for white women.

621
00:39:17,625 --> 00:39:20,419
Y'all know how they love drinking
wine with their friends,

622
00:39:20,545 --> 00:39:23,089
talking 'bout how sad it is, black
folks ain't got their fair shakes.

623
00:39:23,215 --> 00:39:25,424
What, giving their housekeepers
a extra day off and shit.

624
00:39:25,550 --> 00:39:26,968
Y'all know what I'm saying?

625
00:39:27,052 --> 00:39:30,638
So you wanna look
like the black best friend

626
00:39:30,972 --> 00:39:32,182
in the white girl movie?

627
00:39:32,265 --> 00:39:36,519
Right. Okay, so you got Regina
King in Miss Congeniality.

628
00:39:36,644 --> 00:39:39,981
You got Alicia Keys in that
Nanny Diaries bullshit

629
00:39:40,065 --> 00:39:41,265
with ScarJo.
I didn't see that.

630
00:39:42,525 --> 00:39:44,485
And Regina King
in Legally Blonde.

631
00:39:45,778 --> 00:39:47,364
Now, you not thinking
big enough.

632
00:39:47,530 --> 00:39:48,656
What?

633
00:39:48,948 --> 00:39:50,449
Viola Davis.

634
00:39:50,992 --> 00:39:51,993
Oh.

635
00:39:52,369 --> 00:39:53,745
Eat Pray Love, motherfuckers!

636
00:39:53,912 --> 00:39:55,830
I gotta live
with this hair, yo.

637
00:39:56,581 --> 00:39:58,250
Do me like Rihanna.

638
00:39:58,375 --> 00:40:01,627
Rihanna when? She had, like, 26
hairdos in the past two years.

639
00:40:01,878 --> 00:40:03,922
2009 Rihanna, I got to spell
that shit out for you?

640
00:40:04,089 --> 00:40:06,632
Look, everybody's still hatin'
on Chris Brown,

641
00:40:06,758 --> 00:40:09,594
so maybe they'll throw me a
bone gettin' back at that fool.

642
00:40:10,803 --> 00:40:12,138
♪ Beat a bitch down

643
00:40:12,264 --> 00:40:13,806
♪ If you're named Chris Brown

644
00:40:14,391 --> 00:40:15,474
♪ Beat a bitch down ♪

645
00:40:24,401 --> 00:40:25,526
The fuck is that?

646
00:40:25,902 --> 00:40:28,280
Litchfield one,
pussy shutterbug zero.

647
00:40:29,114 --> 00:40:30,782
You put a straw in coffee?

648
00:40:31,157 --> 00:40:32,617
I just had my teeth bleached.

649
00:40:34,202 --> 00:40:35,203
Where was it?

650
00:40:35,536 --> 00:40:36,955
Healy found it.

651
00:40:37,038 --> 00:40:39,624
Good to know someone around
here is on his game.

652
00:40:40,292 --> 00:40:41,793
He "found" it?

653
00:40:42,585 --> 00:40:44,670
You're buying that, no contest?

654
00:40:44,796 --> 00:40:47,548
What, you think Healy's
running around here like a frat boy

655
00:40:47,632 --> 00:40:48,841
taking pictures of snatch?

656
00:40:50,302 --> 00:40:51,502
I think we should look into it.

657
00:40:51,636 --> 00:40:54,472
Seems kind of irrelevant now,
don't you think?

658
00:40:57,350 --> 00:40:59,144
We both know you're
after my job, Joe.

659
00:40:59,811 --> 00:41:02,563
But I'm not worried. Never have been.
Know why?

660
00:41:02,939 --> 00:41:05,066
'Cause you get
mired down in pettiness

661
00:41:05,191 --> 00:41:07,319
instead of
stepping your shit up.

662
00:41:08,736 --> 00:41:10,071
Nice haircut, by the way.

663
00:41:25,920 --> 00:41:26,963
Thanks.

664
00:41:27,255 --> 00:41:28,423
Sure.

665
00:41:29,674 --> 00:41:31,676
I keep feeling like I know you
from somewhere.

666
00:41:32,844 --> 00:41:34,084
You didn't go to Smith,
did you?

667
00:41:36,514 --> 00:41:37,682
Cabot High Wildcats?

668
00:41:37,765 --> 00:41:39,017
Nope.

669
00:41:39,809 --> 00:41:42,354
You know, I lived in Red Hook
for a while after college.

670
00:41:43,188 --> 00:41:45,064
I used to bag
groceries at Fairway.

671
00:41:45,190 --> 00:41:46,358
No way!

672
00:41:46,565 --> 00:41:48,485
Oh, my God, I remember you.

673
00:41:48,567 --> 00:41:49,986
You were always
forgetting your cloth bags.

674
00:41:50,111 --> 00:41:51,511
And I would pack
everything in paper

675
00:41:51,570 --> 00:41:53,698
and then you'd remember and get
the bags out of your purse

676
00:41:53,781 --> 00:41:55,116
and make me
re-pack everything.

677
00:41:55,658 --> 00:41:58,495
Oh, boy. Yeah, I guess that did
happen a couple of times, huh.

678
00:41:58,661 --> 00:42:02,040
Every time. For months.
You were a pain in the ass.

679
00:42:02,123 --> 00:42:03,458
Well...

680
00:42:03,666 --> 00:42:05,960
Who'da thunk we'd
end up here, huh?

681
00:42:07,337 --> 00:42:10,965
Anyway, I just want you to know,
that as far as I'm concerned,

682
00:42:11,049 --> 00:42:12,884
you and me are the same.

683
00:42:13,634 --> 00:42:14,635
Pardon?

684
00:42:14,719 --> 00:42:15,720
The only
difference between us is,

685
00:42:15,803 --> 00:42:18,556
when I made bad decisions in
life, I didn't get caught.

686
00:42:18,681 --> 00:42:20,850
It coulda been me
here in khaki, easy.

687
00:42:22,268 --> 00:42:23,478
Thank you for saying that.

688
00:42:26,064 --> 00:42:27,565
You know,
it's really nice to know

689
00:42:27,690 --> 00:42:29,192
that there's
somebody on our side.

690
00:42:29,650 --> 00:42:31,152
Well, you know.

691
00:42:33,988 --> 00:42:37,033
You know what would really help
to boost morale around here?

692
00:42:41,538 --> 00:42:43,248
You know, I saw that
bitch heading on over

693
00:42:43,331 --> 00:42:46,584
to Healy's office,
looking guilty as fuck.

694
00:42:47,793 --> 00:42:50,922
Guess suckin' dick's a little
easier than honest hard work.

695
00:42:51,089 --> 00:42:53,049
I feel sorry for her.

696
00:42:56,135 --> 00:42:58,012
You're right, Leanne.
Compassion

697
00:42:58,137 --> 00:43:00,056
is what we got
over the monkeys.

698
00:43:01,266 --> 00:43:02,434
You know what, though?

699
00:43:02,559 --> 00:43:06,645
Compassion ain't gonna help this
girl learn the way of things.

700
00:43:06,771 --> 00:43:08,314
I learned, we all learned.

701
00:43:09,232 --> 00:43:12,610
And that is that you have get
broken down to get raised back up.

702
00:43:12,860 --> 00:43:16,906
You know, I'm with you, hon.
Really.

703
00:43:17,490 --> 00:43:20,076
She's Waspy and
entitled and always

704
00:43:20,159 --> 00:43:21,786
asking if you have
this in whole grain,

705
00:43:21,911 --> 00:43:24,038
she's got the Bambi shtick
going on, I get all of it.

706
00:43:24,456 --> 00:43:28,000
But I'm gonna need you to
shut the fuck up about her

707
00:43:28,126 --> 00:43:30,503
and get over your shit.

708
00:43:30,920 --> 00:43:31,963
Or what?

709
00:43:39,304 --> 00:43:40,805
Or I will fuck you.

710
00:43:42,515 --> 00:43:43,891
Literally.

711
00:43:44,976 --> 00:43:47,479
I will sneak into your bunk
in the middle of the night

712
00:43:47,645 --> 00:43:49,522
and I'll lick your pussy.

713
00:43:49,939 --> 00:43:53,234
And I will do it
so good and so soft

714
00:43:53,318 --> 00:43:56,529
that you're gonna be on the edge
of coming by the time you wake up,

715
00:43:56,654 --> 00:43:57,989
and then I'll stop.

716
00:43:59,574 --> 00:44:01,993
And you'll be half asleep
and you'll beg for it.

717
00:44:02,118 --> 00:44:03,328
Oh, you will beg for it.

718
00:44:05,413 --> 00:44:07,999
And maybe I'll be nice,
and maybe I won't,

719
00:44:08,124 --> 00:44:11,252
but if I am nice?
The things you feel?

720
00:44:13,546 --> 00:44:15,840
They will ruin you forever.

721
00:44:18,176 --> 00:44:22,138
So, you know, choose.

722
00:44:26,892 --> 00:44:29,728
And exhale slowly.

723
00:44:33,107 --> 00:44:36,861
And float all the way down.

724
00:44:41,533 --> 00:44:43,284
Halfway up,

725
00:44:46,871 --> 00:44:51,708
and now roll all
the way down again,

726
00:44:54,962 --> 00:44:58,466
bend at the waist,
and let the arms hang.

727
00:45:03,720 --> 00:45:08,142
And continue to breathe,
and hang.

728
00:45:31,416 --> 00:45:32,625
Hey, what up?

729
00:45:32,749 --> 00:45:33,918
Hi.

730
00:45:34,043 --> 00:45:36,462
You got a minute? My man,
Three-D, wants to chat.

731
00:46:03,615 --> 00:46:05,199
You that track and
field girl, right?

732
00:46:06,451 --> 00:46:07,619
Yeah.

733
00:46:10,246 --> 00:46:11,456
You can't be here, yo.

734
00:46:11,830 --> 00:46:13,207
Little Frank told
me to come on by.

735
00:46:13,332 --> 00:46:15,752
Little Frank is not
a forward thinker.

736
00:46:22,508 --> 00:46:24,636
Look around you.
What you see?

737
00:46:26,137 --> 00:46:29,599
A party. People.

738
00:46:29,682 --> 00:46:30,933
What kinda people?

739
00:46:33,645 --> 00:46:34,687
Your crew.

740
00:46:35,187 --> 00:46:37,856
My crew, we thugs.

741
00:46:40,192 --> 00:46:44,614
We ain't finished school, we got
what we got until the next bust.

742
00:46:45,364 --> 00:46:47,241
It look like
you're doing okay to me.

743
00:46:51,036 --> 00:46:53,665
You're the real thing,
you feel me?

744
00:46:54,915 --> 00:46:57,084
Everything we playin' at,
everything we holdin',

745
00:46:57,209 --> 00:46:59,378
you can have it for real.

746
00:47:01,422 --> 00:47:03,716
You wanna fuck that up,
that's on you.

747
00:47:04,676 --> 00:47:06,260
I can't carry that.

748
00:47:08,012 --> 00:47:09,764
Yo, Richie.

749
00:47:14,226 --> 00:47:15,520
Make sure she gets home.

750
00:47:16,395 --> 00:47:20,566
You need money for sneakers
or whatever, give me a shout.

751
00:47:25,655 --> 00:47:27,657
I know where the door is.

752
00:47:40,378 --> 00:47:41,713
What up, rocket girl?

753
00:47:43,964 --> 00:47:45,591
I got booted, that's what.

754
00:47:45,717 --> 00:47:48,927
Well, Three-D got his own
ideas about right and wrong,

755
00:47:49,053 --> 00:47:50,722
like he Robin Hood
or something.

756
00:47:51,888 --> 00:47:52,931
And who are you?

757
00:47:53,683 --> 00:47:57,812
You wanna party, I'm the brother
that's not gonna stop you.

758
00:48:00,565 --> 00:48:04,610
You know, 'cause you got those
thick thighs on you, girl, like...

759
00:48:04,861 --> 00:48:07,112
Look good on a woman. Yeah.

760
00:48:07,697 --> 00:48:10,449
I usually go running and...

761
00:48:12,326 --> 00:48:15,079
Now, that dress, that's
not doin' you any favors.

762
00:48:18,999 --> 00:48:20,418
Let's share.

763
00:48:28,634 --> 00:48:30,261
Thank you.

764
00:48:30,344 --> 00:48:33,097
Dude, $3 tip on a $67 tab?

765
00:48:33,222 --> 00:48:36,100
What, is 70 your lucky number
or something? What is that?

766
00:48:37,602 --> 00:48:38,770
D-bag.

767
00:48:42,523 --> 00:48:43,524
What'll you have?

768
00:48:46,318 --> 00:48:47,319
This.

769
00:48:48,028 --> 00:48:49,739
I'm buying you a drink.

770
00:48:52,658 --> 00:48:54,702
Uh... Margarita?

771
00:48:56,370 --> 00:48:57,496
Okay.

772
00:49:03,127 --> 00:49:05,129
Let me ask you something.

773
00:49:06,798 --> 00:49:08,633
Do I seem pathetic to you?

774
00:49:09,091 --> 00:49:11,302
Before or after you
asked that question?

775
00:49:12,762 --> 00:49:14,597
This is my first
time out by myself.

776
00:49:16,223 --> 00:49:18,643
First time in
a long time, I mean.

777
00:49:19,811 --> 00:49:25,775
And I just don't wanna
be, you know, that guy.

778
00:49:31,071 --> 00:49:32,490
That guy?

779
00:49:34,032 --> 00:49:36,201
That guy's worth
about $75 million.

780
00:49:37,369 --> 00:49:40,080
Yeah. He writes
action movies about robots

781
00:49:40,164 --> 00:49:41,804
that turn into other robots,
or something.

782
00:49:42,249 --> 00:49:43,375
And he tips well.

783
00:49:46,128 --> 00:49:47,505
You're doing just fine.

784
00:49:53,719 --> 00:49:54,720
Cheers.

785
00:49:54,846 --> 00:49:55,888
And to you.

786
00:50:02,561 --> 00:50:03,688
So what's your story?

787
00:50:07,692 --> 00:50:09,694
Jesus Christ.

788
00:50:09,861 --> 00:50:11,027
What?

789
00:50:11,696 --> 00:50:13,531
What's my story?

790
00:50:13,698 --> 00:50:15,533
I'm sorry, did I piss you off?

791
00:50:15,658 --> 00:50:18,034
No, you... Yes.

792
00:50:18,870 --> 00:50:20,162
Yes, I'm pissed off.

793
00:50:21,205 --> 00:50:23,833
Because, you're gorgeous.

794
00:50:25,292 --> 00:50:28,086
Your mouth is amazing.
Your neck?

795
00:50:28,212 --> 00:50:30,506
My God, your ass looks
great in those jeans.

796
00:50:30,589 --> 00:50:32,884
No offense,
I'm sorry, I just...

797
00:50:32,967 --> 00:50:35,011
And I feel shitty for
even looking at you.

798
00:50:35,093 --> 00:50:37,889
Because I have a fiancee.

799
00:50:40,140 --> 00:50:41,726
And you know what
else I can't do?

800
00:50:42,977 --> 00:50:44,060
Look at her.

801
00:50:45,771 --> 00:50:47,648
Because she's in
fucking prison.

802
00:50:48,357 --> 00:50:53,029
Yeah, yeah, because she did
something stupid and crazy and...

803
00:50:54,739 --> 00:50:59,744
...indicative of an ominously
shaky moral compass.

804
00:50:59,869 --> 00:51:03,288
And as a result I am stuck
here, alone, at this bar.

805
00:51:03,414 --> 00:51:06,250
Talking to you and enjoying it
and feeling like an asshole.

806
00:51:09,587 --> 00:51:11,422
Polly was right.
Fuck her.

807
00:51:21,181 --> 00:51:23,017
I'm gonna be in
the New York Times.

808
00:51:34,403 --> 00:51:37,322
Track is back open.
F-your-I.

809
00:51:37,448 --> 00:51:38,783
Pardon me?

810
00:51:39,784 --> 00:51:43,454
I'm reassigning Fischer, eight
hours a week. Her request.

811
00:51:43,913 --> 00:51:46,415
Apparently,
there's some film thing

812
00:51:46,540 --> 00:51:49,085
going around,
23 hours or whatever,

813
00:51:49,167 --> 00:51:53,631
says how exercise saves us
bucks in the long term.

814
00:51:54,130 --> 00:51:57,384
Which appeals to you, 'cause you're
chief bean-counter now, right?

815
00:51:58,385 --> 00:51:59,386
Uhh...

816
00:51:59,511 --> 00:52:02,056
Fig is gonna eat that shit up.

817
00:52:02,473 --> 00:52:04,314
You come up with this
in a vision or something?

818
00:52:05,101 --> 00:52:08,562
It was all Fischer.
Trust the woman, right?

819
00:52:10,146 --> 00:52:12,817
Doesn't threaten
me to admit it,

820
00:52:12,984 --> 00:52:15,653
that is one smart piece of ass.

821
00:52:22,994 --> 00:52:26,330
No, no, no, no, no!
Mi Diablo! No!

822
00:52:38,009 --> 00:52:39,510
Holy shit.

823
00:52:45,599 --> 00:52:47,018
Jesus Christ, Flores.

824
00:52:53,691 --> 00:52:57,235
That was the only place in this
prison I could take a shit. Fuck!

825
00:52:58,487 --> 00:52:59,822
Fucking dios.

826
00:53:14,461 --> 00:53:17,213
You make them wait,
it ain't gonna help.

827
00:53:30,477 --> 00:53:32,479
Have a seat, Miss Jefferson.

828
00:53:49,329 --> 00:53:52,416
Yo. Yo, you see
that nigga face?

829
00:53:52,583 --> 00:53:54,250
Yo, Islam motherfucker
got so much beard,

830
00:53:54,376 --> 00:53:56,136
he ain't seen his own face
since high school.

831
00:53:56,212 --> 00:53:57,838
Ain't no Islam, he a Sikh.
You racist.

832
00:53:59,882 --> 00:54:01,082
Hit the corner, hit the corner.

833
00:54:01,092 --> 00:54:02,332
We gonna lose
'em at the corner.

834
00:54:05,429 --> 00:54:07,098
Wait up, yo!
Come on!

835
00:54:07,181 --> 00:54:09,808
I said, wait up.
Don't be showin' off.

836
00:54:11,685 --> 00:54:13,645
Put your hands
where I can see them!

837
00:54:14,354 --> 00:54:18,609
Get down on the ground.
Get down on the ground!

838
00:54:18,943 --> 00:54:20,276
Okay, okay.

839
00:54:53,211 --> 00:54:55,479
This don't make us even.

840
00:54:57,982 --> 00:54:59,108
Okay.

841
00:55:24,800 --> 00:55:35,720
<font color="#ec14bd">Sync & corrections by honeybunny</font>
<font color="#ec14bd">www.addic7ed.com</font>

