﻿1
00:00:57,462 --> 00:01:07,967
<font color="#ec14bd">Sync & corrections by honeybunny</font>
<font color="#ec14bd">www.addic7ed.com</font>

2
00:01:22,941 --> 00:01:24,026
The President doesn't care

3
00:01:24,151 --> 00:01:25,278
about the Hispanic plight.

4
00:01:25,403 --> 00:01:28,114
He doesn't care
about poor Mexicans...

5
00:01:49,135 --> 00:01:51,971
Well, you didn't miss much, if
it makes you feel any better.

6
00:01:52,096 --> 00:01:53,404
Except movie night.

7
00:01:53,524 --> 00:01:55,975
We got Joe Versus the Volcano.
That was pretty good.

8
00:01:56,100 --> 00:01:58,144
And we got meatloaf twice.

9
00:01:58,478 --> 00:02:00,814
Personally,
I think it should be baked,

10
00:02:00,980 --> 00:02:03,316
and here they steam it
so it gets all pasty.

11
00:02:03,399 --> 00:02:05,568
Do not tell Red I said that.

12
00:02:05,652 --> 00:02:08,988
I mean, she knows, but she got
feelings just like everybody else.

13
00:02:09,656 --> 00:02:11,658
You know those good mashed
potatoes that Red makes,

14
00:02:11,783 --> 00:02:13,075
from the real
potatoes and not the box?

15
00:02:13,159 --> 00:02:14,160
Yeah.

16
00:02:14,285 --> 00:02:17,413
Maybe you could ask about getting
some of that served up tonight.

17
00:02:17,705 --> 00:02:18,748
You her girl.

18
00:02:19,290 --> 00:02:21,501
Well, she works up the menus
a week in advance, so...

19
00:02:22,502 --> 00:02:25,045
Think about what
I've been through.

20
00:02:27,841 --> 00:02:29,509
Can't promise anything.

21
00:02:42,647 --> 00:02:47,694
Twenty-six, 27, 28, 29, 30! Ha-ha!
Who's the big talker now?

22
00:02:47,819 --> 00:02:48,987
You were
counting too fast!

23
00:02:49,069 --> 00:02:51,113
Bullshit, Vause.
I told you, it can't be done.

24
00:02:51,197 --> 00:02:52,907
Six saltines in 30 seconds?

25
00:02:55,660 --> 00:03:00,874
You are a disgusting animal.
Okay? What the fuck?

26
00:03:00,999 --> 00:03:04,168
I mean, which is a quality
I greatly admire in a person.

27
00:03:04,251 --> 00:03:05,795
You're in touch
with your primal self.

28
00:03:07,171 --> 00:03:11,384
Yeah, well, my primal self cannot
resist a dare, apparently.

29
00:03:12,050 --> 00:03:15,763
Which is also how I ended up
with three broken toes

30
00:03:15,889 --> 00:03:17,682
and, briefly, chlamydia.

31
00:03:18,599 --> 00:03:19,726
And in prison.

32
00:03:19,851 --> 00:03:22,269
Well, that wasn't so much
a dare, as it was a deal.

33
00:03:24,772 --> 00:03:27,567
Officer Webster,
pick up extension 414.

34
00:03:34,741 --> 00:03:37,577
Hey, get over here.
You're missing a moment.

35
00:03:37,702 --> 00:03:39,913
Visitation will be
ending in five minutes.

36
00:03:42,164 --> 00:03:43,875
God, SHU must really suck ass.

37
00:03:43,958 --> 00:03:45,125
Man, she was in
there for two weeks.

38
00:03:45,251 --> 00:03:46,210
I've taken shits
longer than that.

39
00:03:50,548 --> 00:03:53,467
Hey, Kate Winslet.
See any icebergs?

40
00:03:56,679 --> 00:03:58,056
They're back again, Janae.

41
00:04:02,184 --> 00:04:04,144
Cut that out!

42
00:04:06,689 --> 00:04:07,815
Boys chase girls!

43
00:04:07,941 --> 00:04:09,400
Whatcha gonna do
if you catch us?

44
00:04:09,567 --> 00:04:11,235
Only one way to find out.

45
00:04:11,485 --> 00:04:12,904
Go back to your mama.

46
00:04:13,112 --> 00:04:14,864
Ooh...

47
00:04:30,755 --> 00:04:33,591
Janae! Quit showing off!

48
00:04:57,865 --> 00:05:00,994
Good morning. Welcome.

49
00:05:01,119 --> 00:05:02,912
- Hey!
- Ladies of the WAC.

50
00:05:02,996 --> 00:05:05,456
Are you taking us
to prom or something?

51
00:05:05,539 --> 00:05:06,660
Just close the door, please.

52
00:05:10,336 --> 00:05:11,671
Thank you.

53
00:05:13,631 --> 00:05:14,632
All right.

54
00:05:16,009 --> 00:05:19,679
Now, a small token
of my esteem.

55
00:05:20,262 --> 00:05:23,349
Dang, Healy.
That's proper!

56
00:05:24,017 --> 00:05:25,935
Oh!

57
00:05:26,435 --> 00:05:27,854
Now you talk
about this outside,

58
00:05:27,979 --> 00:05:29,396
you never see bear claws again.

59
00:05:29,522 --> 00:05:32,066
Silencio, Mr. Healy. We're
gonna be like Red's lady.

60
00:05:32,191 --> 00:05:33,317
What's her name?
The one that don't talk?

61
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:34,652
Norma.

62
00:05:34,777 --> 00:05:36,029
We gonna be like four Normas.

63
00:05:37,155 --> 00:05:39,073
All right, now,
business,

64
00:05:39,197 --> 00:05:43,870
i.e. if you will, the concerns
of your fellow inmates.

65
00:05:44,202 --> 00:05:49,416
Mr. Healy, the pillow that we get
for sleeping is thin like paper.

66
00:05:49,542 --> 00:05:53,295
Sometimes, yo necessito two pillows.
For ergonomics.

67
00:05:53,379 --> 00:05:55,048
A second pillow?
Write it down.

68
00:05:55,381 --> 00:06:00,053
Okay, first of all, the hot sauce
in the commissary is bullshit.

69
00:06:00,136 --> 00:06:02,889
We want that Thailand sauce, the
one with the rooster on it.

70
00:06:03,556 --> 00:06:04,515
Rooster sauce.

71
00:06:04,598 --> 00:06:06,726
And second of all,
ain't no reason we can't

72
00:06:06,893 --> 00:06:09,020
get Fifty Shades of
Grey in the library!

73
00:06:09,145 --> 00:06:10,980
We talked about this,
Jefferson.

74
00:06:11,105 --> 00:06:12,940
Fed's not gonna
subsidize erotica.

75
00:06:13,900 --> 00:06:15,526
I've got a copy.

76
00:06:15,776 --> 00:06:17,153
I've got one, too.

77
00:06:18,821 --> 00:06:20,573
Fifty Shade.

78
00:06:21,574 --> 00:06:25,243
I withdraw my request. But Maria's
straight up about the pillows.

79
00:06:25,703 --> 00:06:27,245
Pillows again. Chapman.

80
00:06:29,456 --> 00:06:31,084
You're done?

81
00:06:31,167 --> 00:06:32,668
Far as I know.

82
00:06:33,502 --> 00:06:34,545
Okay.

83
00:06:36,214 --> 00:06:38,966
The thing is, I think
that a few basic changes

84
00:06:39,092 --> 00:06:41,886
could drastically
improve the quality of life.

85
00:06:42,469 --> 00:06:47,100
Like clinic hours every week
for preventative health care.

86
00:06:47,391 --> 00:06:48,726
And re-opening the track.

87
00:06:49,685 --> 00:06:51,771
And maybe legal counseling.

88
00:06:53,439 --> 00:06:54,481
And the GED program.

89
00:06:55,357 --> 00:06:59,319
Now, I understand that there's a
mold situation in the classroom,

90
00:06:59,445 --> 00:07:00,947
but this needs to be addressed.

91
00:07:01,114 --> 00:07:03,241
The inmates down the hill,
they get classes,

92
00:07:03,365 --> 00:07:05,492
and they are not
getting out any time soon.

93
00:07:06,077 --> 00:07:07,787
We are here for shorter stays.

94
00:07:08,121 --> 00:07:10,998
We should be learning
to improve ourselves,

95
00:07:11,124 --> 00:07:12,625
as students

96
00:07:12,792 --> 00:07:15,962
or even teachers.

97
00:07:16,963 --> 00:07:19,882
Something's telling me
she has a teacher in mind.

98
00:07:22,051 --> 00:07:23,052
Chang, you're up.

99
00:07:23,136 --> 00:07:25,138
Okay, Mr. Healy. Okay.

100
00:07:31,644 --> 00:07:33,187
Lay it on me, Chang.

101
00:07:33,312 --> 00:07:34,563
Okay.

102
00:07:39,652 --> 00:07:40,820
Good.

103
00:07:40,945 --> 00:07:42,786
We got a good list going here,
some good ideas.

104
00:07:42,822 --> 00:07:44,073
Now, the problem as I see it...

105
00:07:44,198 --> 00:07:45,449
No, sir, I really think that...

106
00:07:45,532 --> 00:07:48,161
...is that we have
a budget situation.

107
00:07:48,286 --> 00:07:50,663
Now, I can do my best,

108
00:07:51,497 --> 00:07:54,500
but it's gonna be hard for me
to do all these things

109
00:07:54,625 --> 00:07:57,461
and still be able to bring donuts
to our meetings every month.

110
00:08:02,341 --> 00:08:03,425
And coffee.

111
00:08:04,969 --> 00:08:06,846
Well, we tried.

112
00:08:12,101 --> 00:08:13,352
What just happened?

113
00:08:13,435 --> 00:08:14,770
You were there.

114
00:08:15,354 --> 00:08:16,939
We finally get an opportunity

115
00:08:17,064 --> 00:08:18,607
to make some improvements
around here and...

116
00:08:18,691 --> 00:08:20,442
Don't be gettin' all Amistad
on me, Chapman.

117
00:08:20,526 --> 00:08:22,695
Healy look like he
gunning for change?

118
00:08:22,778 --> 00:08:25,031
Okay, but what about your
campaign promises?

119
00:08:25,114 --> 00:08:26,394
Everyone say
shit to get elected.

120
00:08:26,490 --> 00:08:27,700
You ain't actually gotta do it.

121
00:08:27,825 --> 00:08:29,451
That's politics.

122
00:08:29,785 --> 00:08:31,912
I got a disciplinary
board hearing this week,

123
00:08:32,038 --> 00:08:35,333
which, if they don't take away
my good time, I go home.

124
00:08:35,833 --> 00:08:38,252
Healy said he would write
a letter vouching for me.

125
00:08:38,878 --> 00:08:40,546
I ain't looking to make waves.

126
00:08:40,629 --> 00:08:43,590
Glassy water. Smooth sailin'
right on out of here.

127
00:08:44,591 --> 00:08:49,096
So this whole WAC
thing is basically bullshit.

128
00:08:50,597 --> 00:08:52,225
Just take the donuts, girl.

129
00:08:57,063 --> 00:08:58,480
Can you believe her?

130
00:08:58,564 --> 00:09:01,441
That college bitch thinks
she can come up in here

131
00:09:01,567 --> 00:09:03,736
and take charge of
shit with her nice teeth

132
00:09:03,819 --> 00:09:05,988
and her pinky
stuck up in the air.

133
00:09:06,072 --> 00:09:07,573
She's got a surprise coming.

134
00:09:08,115 --> 00:09:09,408
Is it a pony?

135
00:09:10,201 --> 00:09:11,994
Just shut your trap, Lurch.

136
00:09:12,078 --> 00:09:14,454
Nobody cares what's comin'
outta them slit lickin' lips.

137
00:09:18,584 --> 00:09:20,169
Did you vote for her?
No.

138
00:09:20,294 --> 00:09:21,921
Did you vote for her?

139
00:09:22,046 --> 00:09:24,464
Who voted for that bitch,
raise your hand! Raise it.

140
00:09:25,799 --> 00:09:26,800
That's what I thought.

141
00:09:26,926 --> 00:09:30,930
Some Garden-of-Gethsemane
shit up in here, y'all.

142
00:09:31,097 --> 00:09:36,727
Chapman is a Judas Iscariot, cozied
on up to the High Priest Healy.

143
00:09:36,810 --> 00:09:38,271
And he throws out my vote.

144
00:09:38,354 --> 00:09:41,023
My votes that
were bestowed upon me

145
00:09:41,148 --> 00:09:43,817
from my Lord,
and gives her all the silver?

146
00:09:45,569 --> 00:09:48,948
So in this analogy,
you're Jesus Christ?

147
00:09:49,531 --> 00:09:51,284
I've been betrayed.

148
00:10:31,991 --> 00:10:34,285
Oh, gosh! Oh, no, no.

149
00:10:34,827 --> 00:10:36,662
Uh...

150
00:10:38,289 --> 00:10:43,169
Gonna be a while. I'm a little
backed up in here. Sorry.

151
00:10:57,933 --> 00:11:00,269
We were starting to
think you deserted us.

152
00:11:02,771 --> 00:11:07,734
I tried making that coconut cake myself.
Nicky called it "coco-not."

153
00:11:08,944 --> 00:11:11,197
What pain did you bring down
on her for that?

154
00:11:11,322 --> 00:11:15,575
She was right.
Your cake is inimitable.

155
00:11:17,828 --> 00:11:21,457
Norma got me an improve-your-vocabulary
book out of the library.

156
00:11:21,539 --> 00:11:24,710
You got to keep the brain
cells working, or they die.

157
00:11:25,211 --> 00:11:28,047
To be honest, there's a few things
I wouldn't mind forgetting.

158
00:11:29,048 --> 00:11:30,548
Norma saw you in the library,

159
00:11:32,009 --> 00:11:35,054
bent over a law book like a
boy hiding a titty magazine.

160
00:11:35,595 --> 00:11:37,806
I got interests
beyond coconut cake.

161
00:11:38,098 --> 00:11:40,393
So does every idiot in here.

162
00:11:41,310 --> 00:11:42,728
Where's my Mexican vanilla?

163
00:11:43,561 --> 00:11:44,562
Oh.

164
00:11:50,861 --> 00:11:54,865
Everything off the books
lives like Anne Frank now.

165
00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:10,588
Seems like a lot of trouble.

166
00:12:11,507 --> 00:12:15,094
You get too comfortable,
people take advantage.

167
00:12:17,430 --> 00:12:18,764
You got it under control?

168
00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:22,768
Don't go looking for miracles,
Claudette.

169
00:12:23,436 --> 00:12:26,272
You and me, we figured out
how to do time.

170
00:12:29,983 --> 00:12:33,904
Well, at least it's
better than SHU, right?

171
00:12:35,406 --> 00:12:38,658
I mean, the isolation
must just be terrible.

172
00:12:39,368 --> 00:12:40,453
Or not.

173
00:12:40,536 --> 00:12:42,162
I've never been to SHU.

174
00:12:42,871 --> 00:12:44,915
I've read that it can be
very loud down there,

175
00:12:44,998 --> 00:12:47,293
with people yelling
at each other all the time?

176
00:12:49,753 --> 00:12:51,422
When I said that
I'd never been to SHU,

177
00:12:51,547 --> 00:12:53,257
did that make me
sound like an asshole?

178
00:12:53,382 --> 00:12:54,592
Because obviously I didn't...

179
00:12:54,674 --> 00:12:56,302
Fuck, Chapman.

180
00:13:00,847 --> 00:13:01,848
Ah!

181
00:13:02,224 --> 00:13:05,311
Here's why
the floodlights went out.

182
00:13:06,270 --> 00:13:08,355
It looks like
a rat got to this.

183
00:13:08,481 --> 00:13:10,732
Ew! I fucking hate rats.

184
00:13:11,275 --> 00:13:14,153
My brother had one
while we were growing up.

185
00:13:14,278 --> 00:13:16,155
It was kind of cute, actually.

186
00:13:16,238 --> 00:13:17,990
He named it Antonio.

187
00:13:19,492 --> 00:13:21,827
I saw one chewed
up a baby's face.

188
00:13:21,952 --> 00:13:24,246
I named it "fuckin'
face-chewing rat."

189
00:13:24,955 --> 00:13:26,248
You gonna fix the wire or what?

190
00:13:26,373 --> 00:13:27,707
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

191
00:13:31,420 --> 00:13:32,421
Ah! Shit!

192
00:13:32,505 --> 00:13:33,880
Did you turn off the switch?

193
00:13:34,006 --> 00:13:35,341
I thought that you
turned off the switch.

194
00:13:35,466 --> 00:13:36,842
Oh, man!

195
00:13:36,925 --> 00:13:38,844
It's okay. It's my fault.

196
00:13:41,138 --> 00:13:43,849
So you're back
in the rooms, huh?

197
00:13:45,100 --> 00:13:47,060
I hope they didn't
stick you with De Marco.

198
00:13:47,186 --> 00:13:49,021
I mean, she's super
nice and everything,

199
00:13:49,146 --> 00:13:53,859
but, man, that breathing machine
can just drive you bonkers.

200
00:13:55,528 --> 00:13:59,031
You know, if you want,
I can make you some ear plugs.

201
00:13:59,114 --> 00:14:01,575
I take a little bit of
stuffing out of a pillow,

202
00:14:01,699 --> 00:14:04,203
and I just smush it
up in some Vaseline,

203
00:14:04,495 --> 00:14:08,040
and then I wrap it up in some
plastic wrap from the sack lunches.

204
00:14:08,123 --> 00:14:11,669
The rooms is full, all right?
I'm in the ghetto tonight.

205
00:14:11,877 --> 00:14:14,129
But you could still
use them in there.

206
00:14:14,213 --> 00:14:16,215
I'll make you some, okay?

207
00:14:18,551 --> 00:14:22,095
Jesus fucking shit.

208
00:14:22,846 --> 00:14:24,181
Sorry?

209
00:14:25,182 --> 00:14:26,308
What?

210
00:14:29,728 --> 00:14:30,812
It was you.

211
00:14:31,564 --> 00:14:32,565
What?

212
00:14:32,690 --> 00:14:34,567
The screwdriver what.

213
00:14:34,692 --> 00:14:37,069
Acting all sweet
like a piece of candy.

214
00:14:37,986 --> 00:14:40,573
Nobody's sweet in
here except for a reason.

215
00:14:42,074 --> 00:14:43,783
I don't know what
you're talking about.

216
00:14:43,909 --> 00:14:46,745
Do not fucking
lie to me, bitch.

217
00:14:47,621 --> 00:14:51,041
Do not fucking insult me
after what you done already.

218
00:14:59,466 --> 00:15:00,551
In my defense,

219
00:15:01,510 --> 00:15:03,095
I would just like
to point out that technically,

220
00:15:03,220 --> 00:15:05,061
you did not go down
because of the screwdriver.

221
00:15:05,097 --> 00:15:06,377
Technically,
you went down to SHU

222
00:15:06,432 --> 00:15:08,016
because you got all
up in Caputo's face.

223
00:15:08,100 --> 00:15:11,604
Lady, we in a tight-ass space
and I bench 140.

224
00:15:11,687 --> 00:15:14,565
You sure "technically" is how
you wanna handle this shit?

225
00:15:17,610 --> 00:15:18,860
Are you gonna say anything?

226
00:15:21,196 --> 00:15:22,489
I ain't a snitch.

227
00:15:28,828 --> 00:15:29,829
Damn!

228
00:15:32,625 --> 00:15:35,335
See? This one got
the same number on both ends.

229
00:15:35,461 --> 00:15:37,296
The first time you play that,
it's called a spinner.

230
00:15:37,379 --> 00:15:40,633
You have to play the ends
and the sides, both.

231
00:15:41,258 --> 00:15:43,843
Like a no-class girl
lets you use any hole.

232
00:15:45,596 --> 00:15:46,639
Yeah.

233
00:15:55,105 --> 00:15:58,651
These are all the places I'm
gonna travel when I get out.

234
00:15:58,734 --> 00:16:01,945
Starting with Anguilla.

235
00:16:02,028 --> 00:16:04,823
I read that Orlando Bloom
honeymooned there.

236
00:16:04,948 --> 00:16:06,388
And Courteney Cox
and David Arquette,

237
00:16:06,492 --> 00:16:07,909
even though that
didn't work out.

238
00:16:08,285 --> 00:16:11,913
I love the beach,
but I burn like a lobster,

239
00:16:11,997 --> 00:16:13,666
so I'm gonna get
a good swim shirt

240
00:16:13,749 --> 00:16:17,085
and, bonus, it's gonna hide
the gallbladder scar.

241
00:16:26,219 --> 00:16:27,680
Oh, yeah. Sure.

242
00:16:27,805 --> 00:16:30,683
Come on. Okay, bitches,

243
00:16:30,808 --> 00:16:33,602
who's first in line
for some puppy lovin'?

244
00:16:34,019 --> 00:16:35,521
Puppy lovin'!

245
00:16:38,649 --> 00:16:39,941
He's so cute.

246
00:16:40,025 --> 00:16:42,152
He looks just like my dog
from when I was a kid.

247
00:16:42,235 --> 00:16:43,696
Except mine was
more of a Dachshund,

248
00:16:43,862 --> 00:16:45,364
but the nostril
part is the same.

249
00:16:45,614 --> 00:16:47,157
You look just like Chummy.

250
00:16:47,533 --> 00:16:49,201
Make him do a trick.

251
00:16:49,326 --> 00:16:51,119
She doesn't know any yet.

252
00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:52,830
Well, maybe you can
take some time off

253
00:16:52,954 --> 00:16:54,498
from sitting
around eating all day,

254
00:16:54,581 --> 00:16:56,458
and teach him something.

255
00:16:58,627 --> 00:17:00,128
Fucking asshole.

256
00:17:00,212 --> 00:17:03,048
Chapman wrote me three letters
for my case and it did fuck-all.

257
00:17:03,173 --> 00:17:05,384
They ain't lettin' people out who
hasn't done their whole time.

258
00:17:05,551 --> 00:17:08,721
Well, I ain't people.
I'm training for this, bitch.

259
00:17:08,887 --> 00:17:12,265
And I ain't never comin' back,
neither, not like the rest of y'all.

260
00:17:12,683 --> 00:17:16,061
Like Oprah say,
"the road less traveled."

261
00:17:16,186 --> 00:17:18,063
You know, that doesn't mean
what everybody thinks it means.

262
00:17:18,313 --> 00:17:20,899
Aw, shit, we about to
get educated and shit.

263
00:17:21,024 --> 00:17:23,569
No, no, no. I'm just saying that
everyone thinks the poem means

264
00:17:23,652 --> 00:17:25,571
to break away from the crowd
and, like, do your own thing.

265
00:17:25,696 --> 00:17:27,573
But if you read it,
Frost is very clear

266
00:17:27,740 --> 00:17:29,616
that the two roads
are exactly the same.

267
00:17:29,742 --> 00:17:31,368
He just chooses one at random.

268
00:17:31,451 --> 00:17:33,953
And then it's only later at a dinner
party, when he's talking about it

269
00:17:34,079 --> 00:17:35,205
that he tells
everybody he chose

270
00:17:35,288 --> 00:17:36,928
the road less
traveled by, but he's lying.

271
00:17:41,336 --> 00:17:43,046
So the point of the poem is,

272
00:17:43,129 --> 00:17:44,423
that everyone
wants to look back

273
00:17:44,548 --> 00:17:45,758
and think that
their choices mattered,

274
00:17:45,883 --> 00:17:49,511
but in reality, shit just happens
the way that it happens,

275
00:17:49,595 --> 00:17:51,847
and it does not mean anything.

276
00:17:53,348 --> 00:17:56,101
I will probably kill
her in her sleep tonight.

277
00:17:56,226 --> 00:17:58,103
Wake me up so I can watch.

278
00:17:59,438 --> 00:18:00,814
I'm gonna...

279
00:18:02,441 --> 00:18:03,942
Laundry.

280
00:18:04,025 --> 00:18:06,695
You ever notice how some dog
breeds, they sound kind of dirty?

281
00:18:07,195 --> 00:18:11,742
Like, shih tzu,
cocker, Jack-something.

282
00:18:13,118 --> 00:18:14,160
Poodle.

283
00:18:14,453 --> 00:18:17,581
That is good.

284
00:18:18,457 --> 00:18:21,460
I didn't think of that one.
That is very clever.

285
00:18:22,210 --> 00:18:24,797
Hey, you know what, guys?
Look at that face.

286
00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:26,757
I'm gonna call her Little Boo.
Aw!

287
00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:30,009
Little Boo.
Who's a little boo? Yes!

288
00:18:30,969 --> 00:18:32,053
Hello?

289
00:18:32,178 --> 00:18:33,305
It's closed.

290
00:18:35,599 --> 00:18:36,642
Alex?

291
00:18:40,228 --> 00:18:42,481
I was just gonna
drop this off, but...

292
00:18:43,816 --> 00:18:45,024
Tomorrow.

293
00:18:45,150 --> 00:18:46,151
Just give it.

294
00:18:48,654 --> 00:18:49,655
Give it to me.

295
00:18:52,449 --> 00:18:53,659
Attention all personnel,

296
00:18:53,742 --> 00:18:56,495
be advised count is off. Can
we please conduct a recount?

297
00:19:04,670 --> 00:19:07,255
Do you remember the Four
Seasons in the Seychelles?

298
00:19:12,511 --> 00:19:14,805
Gosh, we just threw
our laundry into the hallway,

299
00:19:14,888 --> 00:19:16,765
it was like 40 bucks
for a pair of pants.

300
00:19:27,442 --> 00:19:28,485
Hey.

301
00:19:31,613 --> 00:19:33,615
I've been thinking about it...

302
00:19:35,283 --> 00:19:36,284
...a lot.

303
00:19:39,120 --> 00:19:41,247
And I just
wanted to let you know

304
00:19:41,373 --> 00:19:43,542
that there are
no hard feelings.

305
00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:48,380
I was pretty angry,
but, I'm over it.

306
00:19:50,507 --> 00:19:52,384
So, um...

307
00:19:54,386 --> 00:19:55,679
Friend?

308
00:19:57,723 --> 00:19:58,724
Wow.

309
00:20:00,893 --> 00:20:02,561
That's really
big of you, Pipes.

310
00:20:10,151 --> 00:20:11,152
It's not a club.

311
00:20:11,236 --> 00:20:12,362
It's a class.

312
00:20:12,487 --> 00:20:14,447
They teach you to
dance on a pole.

313
00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:20,245
If you want to be a stripper,
you can wait until I die.

314
00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:25,834
It's not stripping. It's for nice
ladies, housewives. For exercise.

315
00:20:26,251 --> 00:20:29,963
That's what they tell you!

316
00:20:30,422 --> 00:20:32,966
Then one day you
wake up in Atlantic City...

317
00:20:33,425 --> 00:20:35,260
where girls are trash...

318
00:20:35,343 --> 00:20:38,055
and I'm lighting candles
under your picture.

319
00:20:38,805 --> 00:20:43,435
Can we please speak
English at the table?

320
00:20:46,855 --> 00:20:48,523
Just at the table?

321
00:20:55,822 --> 00:20:58,283
Two more years
for a green card.

322
00:20:59,451 --> 00:21:00,702
Be nice.

323
00:21:00,994 --> 00:21:02,913
You don't have to fuck him.

324
00:21:04,163 --> 00:21:07,667
I should be lucky, a decent
man wants to fuck me.

325
00:21:10,087 --> 00:21:11,088
Oy.

326
00:21:11,296 --> 00:21:12,297
English.

327
00:21:16,635 --> 00:21:17,803
He's not eating.

328
00:21:19,262 --> 00:21:20,513
English.

329
00:21:24,476 --> 00:21:27,104
You look very
pretty in that dress.

330
00:21:27,813 --> 00:21:31,190
Thank you, Sam. It is very...

331
00:21:33,151 --> 00:21:34,152
...blue.

332
00:21:41,159 --> 00:21:43,000
You guys ever notice how,
once you're a couple,

333
00:21:43,036 --> 00:21:44,956
you pretty much only hang out
with other couples?

334
00:21:45,831 --> 00:21:50,085
A guy, a girl and another guy?
It just looks weird.

335
00:21:50,209 --> 00:21:52,087
People probably just assume
you're divorced.

336
00:21:52,838 --> 00:21:55,674
Oh. Great, so,
I look divorced,

337
00:21:55,799 --> 00:22:00,219
which conveys sadness and
ex-wife shit and lawyers' fees,

338
00:22:00,345 --> 00:22:02,472
or I look single,
34 and single,

339
00:22:02,597 --> 00:22:04,724
which must mean there's
something wrong with me.

340
00:22:04,850 --> 00:22:07,727
Like, you keep
large reptiles in tanks.

341
00:22:07,853 --> 00:22:09,938
Or I have a very special
relationship with my mother.

342
00:22:11,023 --> 00:22:13,150
I just look like a loser.

343
00:22:13,358 --> 00:22:14,798
Why don't you
switch seats with Pete?

344
00:22:14,901 --> 00:22:16,421
You're okay being a loser,
right, babe?

345
00:22:16,736 --> 00:22:18,071
I don't wanna
look like a loser.

346
00:22:18,196 --> 00:22:21,992
Okay, now look, what am I
complaining about, right?

347
00:22:22,075 --> 00:22:23,368
I mean, seriously, you know?

348
00:22:23,493 --> 00:22:26,454
We're sitting here, we're gonna
enjoy some small plates,

349
00:22:26,538 --> 00:22:28,247
while Piper sits in prison.

350
00:22:28,373 --> 00:22:30,291
You know what? Fuck Piper.

351
00:22:31,543 --> 00:22:33,252
She's in prison and it sucks.

352
00:22:33,378 --> 00:22:35,005
Let's also
stipulate there are children

353
00:22:35,130 --> 00:22:36,756
are dying of
diarrhea in Malawi.

354
00:22:36,882 --> 00:22:39,163
That doesn't mean we don't get
to complain about our lives.

355
00:22:39,176 --> 00:22:42,261
I am pregnant and the heat in our
apartment is always too high

356
00:22:42,387 --> 00:22:44,806
and it gives me nosebleeds,
and that is happening.

357
00:22:44,890 --> 00:22:48,060
Pete isn't getting laid and
he's grown that horrible beard.

358
00:22:48,185 --> 00:22:49,394
You look like a loser.

359
00:22:50,145 --> 00:22:51,855
We're all
allowed to feel shitty

360
00:22:51,980 --> 00:22:53,690
about things in our
lives that are shitty.

361
00:22:53,815 --> 00:22:56,609
And happy about
things that are awesome.

362
00:22:56,735 --> 00:22:58,403
Like this awesome beard!
Ugh.

363
00:22:58,486 --> 00:22:59,612
And your column.

364
00:22:59,738 --> 00:23:01,198
What? That's happening?

365
00:23:01,364 --> 00:23:04,450
Who can resist a "Felonious
Fiancee" story, right?

366
00:23:05,744 --> 00:23:07,913
Yeah,
it's, it's totally happening.

367
00:23:08,038 --> 00:23:10,207
New York Times, baby.
"Modern Love."

368
00:23:10,373 --> 00:23:12,249
That's huge!
Yeah.

369
00:23:12,417 --> 00:23:14,753
Does Piper know?
Is she cool about it?

370
00:23:15,252 --> 00:23:17,589
I mean, sort of.

371
00:23:17,714 --> 00:23:22,177
Yeah, I mean, she's
sorting out her feelings,

372
00:23:22,385 --> 00:23:24,096
I guess, you know.

373
00:23:24,221 --> 00:23:28,558
I'm going to tell her tomorrow, you know.
Now that it's for sure.

374
00:23:35,732 --> 00:23:36,733
Oh, man!

375
00:23:45,366 --> 00:23:47,284
What's up with that, girl?

376
00:23:53,374 --> 00:23:55,292
Would you shut the fuck up.

377
00:23:55,835 --> 00:23:58,255
I know you ain't fucking
with my beauty rest, yo.

378
00:23:58,379 --> 00:24:00,090
It's fucking Watson, man.

379
00:24:00,715 --> 00:24:03,342
They closed
the track on me, haters.

380
00:24:03,468 --> 00:24:05,804
I ain't gonna get soft
like the rest of y'all.

381
00:24:05,929 --> 00:24:07,209
Look, none of that's
gonna matter

382
00:24:07,304 --> 00:24:09,432
when they throw your
ass in SHU, part two.

383
00:24:09,515 --> 00:24:11,768
I got 10 minutes before
the CO come back around.

384
00:24:11,851 --> 00:24:14,229
Man, somebody get this bitch
a hamster wheel.

385
00:24:15,730 --> 00:24:17,607
What you gonna do
about it, Jemima?

386
00:24:18,191 --> 00:24:19,442
The hell you just call me?

387
00:24:20,693 --> 00:24:23,196
I said, what you gonna do?

388
00:24:24,948 --> 00:24:26,532
Lightning fast!

389
00:24:27,408 --> 00:24:28,888
Did you see
the Fillmore coach's face?

390
00:24:29,661 --> 00:24:32,747
He had no idea what happened to him.
You happened to him.

391
00:24:32,831 --> 00:24:34,207
I just ran, Coach.

392
00:24:34,373 --> 00:24:35,734
Well,
Watson, you just ran yourself

393
00:24:35,750 --> 00:24:37,030
into the high
school record book.

394
00:24:37,585 --> 00:24:38,962
That gonna help
with scholarships?

395
00:24:39,087 --> 00:24:40,688
Girl, colleges will
be fighting over you.

396
00:24:42,507 --> 00:24:43,925
Now, you get dressed.
Okay.

397
00:24:44,009 --> 00:24:47,053
I'll introduce you around, all right?
They're all waiting.

398
00:25:07,991 --> 00:25:09,034
You ran good.

399
00:25:09,993 --> 00:25:10,994
I know it.

400
00:25:18,210 --> 00:25:23,340
The universe did you wrong. Then
they took away your track, I get it.

401
00:25:24,216 --> 00:25:26,134
What you talking 'bout,
you get it?

402
00:25:26,218 --> 00:25:28,803
Yo, go on back to the suburbs,
string cheese.

403
00:25:29,428 --> 00:25:32,431
I was like you once.
Pissed off,

404
00:25:33,558 --> 00:25:36,228
thought the world
owed me something.

405
00:25:36,353 --> 00:25:39,731
It took me a long time
to let go of that anger.

406
00:25:39,939 --> 00:25:43,400
Bitch, you lying to yourself with
this whole Namaste bullshit.

407
00:25:43,609 --> 00:25:45,362
You're a step ahead already,

408
00:25:45,444 --> 00:25:48,698
channeling your feelings
through physical activity,

409
00:25:48,781 --> 00:25:51,993
which means,
the mind and body connect.

410
00:25:52,869 --> 00:25:56,748
Who touched you, yo?
Was it your uncle?

411
00:25:59,209 --> 00:26:00,585
Your daddy?

412
00:26:01,211 --> 00:26:05,590
Okay, you want to project your
issues onto me? That's cool.

413
00:26:07,592 --> 00:26:08,927
But I feel bad for you.

414
00:26:10,345 --> 00:26:14,933
That negative energy
is gonna eat you up inside.

415
00:26:16,101 --> 00:26:18,019
Man, you this deep in the shit,

416
00:26:18,144 --> 00:26:20,063
you must have done
something fucking evil.

417
00:26:20,897 --> 00:26:21,898
Huh?

418
00:26:23,816 --> 00:26:25,610
Why you in here, yo?

419
00:26:26,945 --> 00:26:28,405
Did you kill someone?

420
00:26:29,864 --> 00:26:31,950
You fucked a kid?

421
00:26:32,284 --> 00:26:33,285
Oh!

422
00:26:34,786 --> 00:26:36,246
You kill a kid?

423
00:26:45,630 --> 00:26:47,299
That's what I thought.

424
00:26:51,970 --> 00:26:52,971
Huh!

425
00:27:10,322 --> 00:27:12,407
Chapman, come in.

426
00:27:12,489 --> 00:27:14,993
Or vojdite,
as they say in Kiev.

427
00:27:15,201 --> 00:27:16,202
Ahh!

428
00:27:16,661 --> 00:27:17,954
Are you planning a vacation?

429
00:27:18,121 --> 00:27:19,496
If I were,
it would be somewhere

430
00:27:19,622 --> 00:27:21,022
you drink rum out
of a mini volcano.

431
00:27:22,250 --> 00:27:23,751
What can I do for you?

432
00:27:24,543 --> 00:27:25,544
The track.

433
00:27:26,212 --> 00:27:28,172
You know, I once saw this
lecture on YouTube called

434
00:27:28,173 --> 00:27:30,049
"23 and 1/2 Hours."

435
00:27:30,175 --> 00:27:33,052
It's one of those things where
someone draws on a whiteboard?

436
00:27:33,178 --> 00:27:34,511
And it says...

437
00:27:35,054 --> 00:27:37,414
Well, if the Internet says it,
then we better listen up, eh?

438
00:27:39,267 --> 00:27:40,268
Hmm.

439
00:27:42,020 --> 00:27:45,023
How much money does this institution
spend on healthcare per year?

440
00:27:46,607 --> 00:27:50,945
Walking for a half an hour a day
reduces the risk of anxiety,

441
00:27:51,154 --> 00:27:55,033
arthritis, depression, things
like dementia and diabetes.

442
00:27:55,116 --> 00:27:56,159
It helps with everything.

443
00:27:56,242 --> 00:27:59,287
If you could save money
on medical expenses

444
00:27:59,371 --> 00:28:02,623
with something as simple as
walking, why wouldn't you?

445
00:28:03,375 --> 00:28:04,456
I mean, in the long term...

446
00:28:04,541 --> 00:28:08,338
No one here gives a crap
about the long term, Chapman.

447
00:28:09,214 --> 00:28:10,256
Yo, Preparation H.

448
00:28:11,799 --> 00:28:14,010
Oops. Sorry.

449
00:28:14,219 --> 00:28:17,347
I'll come back when you're
done taking orders.

450
00:28:21,518 --> 00:28:23,061
Sitting around all day
is the worst possible thing

451
00:28:23,186 --> 00:28:24,729
that you can do for your body.

452
00:28:24,854 --> 00:28:26,014
We're already doing the time.

453
00:28:26,064 --> 00:28:27,482
I've got a deal
for you, Chapman.

454
00:28:29,442 --> 00:28:34,239
Caputo thinks a CO's been putting
inside photos on the Internet,

455
00:28:34,613 --> 00:28:37,950
but I think that kind of nonsense
is too stupid even for a CO.

456
00:28:38,326 --> 00:28:39,660
I don't know
what you're asking.

457
00:28:40,995 --> 00:28:45,166
Let's say an inmate is hiding a
camera or a cell phone or something.

458
00:28:46,334 --> 00:28:50,713
And you find it for me, I'll take
a look at opening that track.

459
00:28:53,758 --> 00:28:55,634
Prison's a big place,
Mr. Healy.

460
00:28:56,428 --> 00:28:58,430
I have confidence in you.

461
00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:17,532
Prisoner return to custody.
Prisoner return to custody.

462
00:29:17,990 --> 00:29:21,660
What's with the grin, Bennett? You
got some new silk panties on?

463
00:29:24,622 --> 00:29:28,293
Or what,
you get laid or something?

464
00:29:31,504 --> 00:29:33,131
Oh, shit!

465
00:29:33,214 --> 00:29:35,467
Bennett got laid!

466
00:29:36,468 --> 00:29:39,804
Come on, man. Spill the beans,
you fucking pussy monster.

467
00:29:39,887 --> 00:29:41,097
Was she Asian?

468
00:29:41,222 --> 00:29:42,432
No.

469
00:29:43,224 --> 00:29:45,726
I hear their
shit goes sideways.

470
00:29:47,479 --> 00:29:49,314
Well? Go ahead.

471
00:29:51,941 --> 00:29:53,234
Okay, I got laid.

472
00:29:53,318 --> 00:29:57,822
Yes! I knew it! I knew it,
you dirty whore! Come on.

473
00:29:58,656 --> 00:30:01,033
I couldn't be prouder if I was your dad.

474
00:30:01,993 --> 00:30:05,497
Tell me, man.
What about her tits?

475
00:30:05,580 --> 00:30:09,250
Were they like big
floppy fucking milk jugs

476
00:30:09,334 --> 00:30:11,169
or a nice,
tight, little handful?

477
00:30:11,294 --> 00:30:12,462
What was it?

478
00:30:16,007 --> 00:30:17,008
They were fake.

479
00:30:17,175 --> 00:30:18,176
Oh!

480
00:30:18,801 --> 00:30:23,556
She's half-Asian,
half-Brazilian.

481
00:30:26,184 --> 00:30:27,352
She's got this sister.

482
00:30:30,896 --> 00:30:32,524
Jesus fucking Christ.

483
00:30:35,443 --> 00:30:40,114
Miss Jefferson, why do you
deserve to be released?

484
00:30:40,198 --> 00:30:41,533
Thank you, sir.

485
00:30:41,616 --> 00:30:43,201
Let the record show

486
00:30:43,326 --> 00:30:46,204
I only had three infractions
for all my time here.

487
00:30:46,329 --> 00:30:50,542
One was for smacking a bitch for not
respecting my ice machine choices,

488
00:30:50,667 --> 00:30:54,712
and, well, the second...
They was bullshit.

489
00:30:54,795 --> 00:30:58,257
Also, I ain't never missed a
day workin' in the library.

490
00:30:58,466 --> 00:31:02,428
Don't say, "workin'," say, "employed."
The shit sound more elegant.

491
00:31:02,720 --> 00:31:05,264
Also, maybe go easy
on the bitch-smacking?

492
00:31:05,390 --> 00:31:06,641
Like, don't bring that shit up.

493
00:31:07,559 --> 00:31:09,477
All right.
Miss Jefferson,

494
00:31:09,602 --> 00:31:11,563
what have you learned from
your time in prison?

495
00:31:11,688 --> 00:31:13,898
Learned?
I ain't learned nothing.

496
00:31:14,023 --> 00:31:17,318
I came in this motherfucker
innocent, I'm still innocent.

497
00:31:17,402 --> 00:31:18,403
You keep talkin'
about innocent,

498
00:31:18,570 --> 00:31:19,529
you gonna slide on back in here

499
00:31:19,612 --> 00:31:21,280
like you got
a magnet up your ass.

500
00:31:21,406 --> 00:31:22,448
I ain't do nothing.

501
00:31:22,574 --> 00:31:23,866
Look, me, neither, all right?

502
00:31:23,991 --> 00:31:26,632
We are all just in here 'cause we
took a wrong turn goin' to church.

503
00:31:27,412 --> 00:31:31,499
Listen, what you did or didn't do.
That shit is irrelevant now.

504
00:31:31,583 --> 00:31:32,917
You gotta show remorse, fool.

505
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:35,920
Tell 'em you met Jesus, you go
and seen the error of your ways.

506
00:31:36,045 --> 00:31:38,089
Now you gonna help
the underprivileged youth

507
00:31:38,214 --> 00:31:40,216
learn to play chess or whatnot.

508
00:31:40,299 --> 00:31:42,500
You know, so they don't end up
like your sorry ass self.

509
00:31:42,552 --> 00:31:43,720
Man, I ain't sorry!

510
00:31:43,802 --> 00:31:45,221
Aye, look, look, look.
This bitch!

511
00:31:45,304 --> 00:31:46,431
Tell 'em, tell 'em
you goin' to college.

512
00:31:46,556 --> 00:31:47,806
Man, what if I did?

513
00:31:49,308 --> 00:31:51,436
What you gonna major in?
Ebonics?

514
00:31:51,644 --> 00:31:53,229
I could be a law secretary.

515
00:31:53,312 --> 00:31:56,399
The shit I learned in my job, I'm
like Rain Man with that shit.

516
00:31:56,482 --> 00:31:59,151
You know what, sit your ass down.
It's time to get serious.

517
00:32:02,947 --> 00:32:04,323
What you gonna do about hair?

518
00:32:04,490 --> 00:32:05,491
Oh!

519
00:32:12,039 --> 00:32:14,125
But if you get
some puta pregnant...

520
00:33:21,192 --> 00:33:23,861
Gonna go and
bounce on daddy's lap?

521
00:33:25,196 --> 00:33:26,197
What did I do now?

522
00:33:26,698 --> 00:33:28,324
Don't be all cute, college.

523
00:33:30,201 --> 00:33:32,787
Have you seen my teeth?
Like, really?

524
00:33:33,204 --> 00:33:34,372
Wow. They're...

525
00:33:35,122 --> 00:33:36,207
Pretty fucked up, huh?

526
00:33:36,374 --> 00:33:37,458
Yeah.

527
00:33:37,625 --> 00:33:38,959
Genetics mostly.

528
00:33:39,293 --> 00:33:40,294
Oh.

529
00:33:40,712 --> 00:33:43,339
But my cousin, she's doin'
15 over at Lexington,

530
00:33:43,422 --> 00:33:48,010
and she got a whole new set from
the United States of America,

531
00:33:48,093 --> 00:33:49,887
D-O-C.

532
00:33:50,763 --> 00:33:52,014
Congratulations.

533
00:33:52,640 --> 00:33:54,481
So it's fine that
you're teacher's pet and all,

534
00:33:54,517 --> 00:33:56,227
but let's,
like, see what you can do.

535
00:33:58,730 --> 00:33:59,772
You want new teeth?

536
00:34:02,567 --> 00:34:05,236
Oh! Because of WAC.

537
00:34:05,778 --> 00:34:08,573
The thing is, I don't think I can.
It's not even a real thing.

538
00:34:08,698 --> 00:34:10,949
You think you're some kind
of special, don't you?

539
00:34:11,116 --> 00:34:12,451
No, I'm serious. It's a scam.

540
00:34:12,577 --> 00:34:13,952
Which, when you think about it,

541
00:34:14,078 --> 00:34:15,954
we really all
should've seen coming.

542
00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:18,750
Let me
tell you something, college.

543
00:34:19,958 --> 00:34:22,920
They're gonna treat you nice
and they're gonna use you.

544
00:34:24,255 --> 00:34:26,674
Then when you're all used up,

545
00:34:26,883 --> 00:34:30,344
you ain't gonna be nothin'.

546
00:34:31,095 --> 00:34:32,513
Knock it off, Pennsatucky.

547
00:34:34,891 --> 00:34:38,102
You sellin' us out? For what?

548
00:34:51,156 --> 00:34:54,368
Now, if it was me, I think I'd leave
the grunt work to the grunts.

549
00:34:54,452 --> 00:34:55,453
Hmm.

550
00:34:55,953 --> 00:34:59,957
I let the girls do this, half the
potato comes off with the peel.

551
00:35:01,292 --> 00:35:05,963
Seems to me like you're just
aching to put that down for a few

552
00:35:06,839 --> 00:35:07,924
and make me a sandwich.

553
00:35:08,758 --> 00:35:10,008
Not particularly.

554
00:35:20,185 --> 00:35:21,228
What kind?

555
00:35:22,814 --> 00:35:24,231
Balogna and cheese.

556
00:35:27,109 --> 00:35:28,486
No mustard.

557
00:35:29,821 --> 00:35:31,196
Double the mayo.

558
00:35:32,114 --> 00:35:34,283
Oh...

559
00:35:34,492 --> 00:35:35,891
This is great.

560
00:35:37,453 --> 00:35:43,125
This makes me very happy.

561
00:35:45,169 --> 00:35:46,170
See?

562
00:35:47,880 --> 00:35:50,257
You didn't want to
do it at first, right?

563
00:35:50,341 --> 00:35:54,219
But, now, I'm happy,
and it's no big deal for you.

564
00:35:54,345 --> 00:35:55,638
What do you want?

565
00:35:55,763 --> 00:35:57,055
I wanna be friends.

566
00:35:59,600 --> 00:36:02,144
Friends who take
care of each other.

567
00:36:04,092 --> 00:36:07,136
You got boxes coming in
with a little something extra.

568
00:36:07,845 --> 00:36:09,430
Maybe your guy gets with my guy

569
00:36:09,555 --> 00:36:11,140
and brings in
something extra for me.

570
00:36:13,017 --> 00:36:14,727
No problem.

571
00:36:14,810 --> 00:36:18,773
Just tell me if you want
zit cream or pantyhose.

572
00:36:19,774 --> 00:36:24,153
What my guy sends, it's a little
more of a specialty item.

573
00:36:25,654 --> 00:36:27,823
Since when are
pills so special?

574
00:36:28,741 --> 00:36:29,784
Give you 5%.

575
00:36:32,787 --> 00:36:36,165
What am I supposed to do with 5%?
Burn it for heat?

576
00:36:37,625 --> 00:36:40,295
My commissary maxes out at $300

577
00:36:40,461 --> 00:36:43,131
and I got all
the toothpaste I need.

578
00:36:43,672 --> 00:36:46,426
10%, final offer.

579
00:36:48,469 --> 00:36:49,511
I...

580
00:36:51,264 --> 00:36:55,977
...don't do that shit!

581
00:36:56,269 --> 00:37:01,690
This shit, that shit, blue shit, bat shit!
It doesn't matter what you do.

582
00:37:02,942 --> 00:37:05,194
It's the doing
that makes you dirty.

583
00:37:06,446 --> 00:37:08,656
Don't play games with me, Red.

584
00:37:09,740 --> 00:37:12,160
You got no more moves, Mendez.

585
00:37:13,995 --> 00:37:16,122
This is it, man.

586
00:37:17,915 --> 00:37:21,085
There is nothing here.

587
00:37:23,296 --> 00:37:26,507
You got nothing on me.

588
00:37:39,854 --> 00:37:42,064
Oh, man!

589
00:37:45,485 --> 00:37:48,363
Guess things just
got messy in here.

590
00:37:56,078 --> 00:37:58,498
Everything's been deleted off this
phone except for these photos.

591
00:37:58,580 --> 00:38:00,375
I know! People, right?

592
00:38:00,458 --> 00:38:02,251
Well, where was it?
In the trash can.

593
00:38:02,418 --> 00:38:03,419
Where?

594
00:38:04,253 --> 00:38:05,796
I don't know, I just found it.

595
00:38:07,507 --> 00:38:09,008
You know,
I appreciate that fact that

596
00:38:09,133 --> 00:38:10,634
you don't wanna
snitch on anyone.

597
00:38:11,344 --> 00:38:14,263
The way these inmates treat
snitches, it's ugly.

598
00:38:15,473 --> 00:38:19,435
But if you can't tell me
who owns this phone,

599
00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:21,729
I'm afraid I can't
help you with the track.

600
00:38:22,063 --> 00:38:24,899
That is not what you said to me.
You said specifically...

601
00:38:24,982 --> 00:38:29,945
I'm sorry, I don't know what you heard.
But, unless I have a name...

602
00:38:34,700 --> 00:38:35,784
Enjoy the phone.

603
00:38:38,913 --> 00:38:40,664
Nice work, Chapman.

604
00:38:43,418 --> 00:38:46,921
I'm giving you one more minute to
pout and then I'm shaving you bald.

605
00:38:48,506 --> 00:38:49,965
Sporting a chunk
of white girl hair,

606
00:38:50,091 --> 00:38:51,652
look like you took
a scalp or some shit.

607
00:38:52,427 --> 00:38:53,844
Yo, yo, you need
to get you that

608
00:38:53,969 --> 00:38:55,388
Michelle Obama hair, for reals.

609
00:38:55,471 --> 00:38:57,932
White folks scared of Obama.

610
00:38:58,099 --> 00:39:02,937
I wanna look like Mo'Nique
from Essence magazine, 2008.

611
00:39:03,020 --> 00:39:04,397
Girl, please, ain't enough
relaxer in the world

612
00:39:04,480 --> 00:39:05,481
for that bullshit.

613
00:39:05,606 --> 00:39:07,442
Now what makes you
so sure the board is white?

614
00:39:07,567 --> 00:39:08,526
Point. True.

615
00:39:08,609 --> 00:39:11,279
There be brothers on the board,
I'm gonna be free at last, yo,

616
00:39:11,362 --> 00:39:14,449
'cause ain't no black man
gonna let a fine black woman

617
00:39:14,532 --> 00:39:16,909
such as me hide
her light in jail.

618
00:39:16,992 --> 00:39:20,580
Fool, brother is gonna be harder
on you, to show he got no bias.

619
00:39:20,662 --> 00:39:22,457
Shit, you better
hope for the whities.

620
00:39:22,623 --> 00:39:23,791
Yo, hope for white women.

621
00:39:23,874 --> 00:39:26,668
Y'all know how they love drinking
wine with their friends,

622
00:39:26,794 --> 00:39:29,338
talking 'bout how sad it is, black
folks ain't got their fair shakes.

623
00:39:29,464 --> 00:39:31,673
What, giving their housekeepers
a extra day off and shit.

624
00:39:31,799 --> 00:39:33,217
Y'all know what I'm saying?

625
00:39:33,301 --> 00:39:36,887
So you wanna look
like the black best friend

626
00:39:37,221 --> 00:39:38,431
in the white girl movie?

627
00:39:38,514 --> 00:39:42,768
Right. Okay, so you got Regina
King in Miss Congeniality.

628
00:39:42,893 --> 00:39:46,230
You got Alicia Keys in that
Nanny Diaries bullshit

629
00:39:46,314 --> 00:39:47,514
with ScarJo.
I didn't see that.

630
00:39:48,774 --> 00:39:50,734
And Regina King
in Legally Blonde.

631
00:39:52,027 --> 00:39:53,613
Now, you not thinking
big enough.

632
00:39:53,779 --> 00:39:54,905
What?

633
00:39:55,197 --> 00:39:56,698
Viola Davis.

634
00:39:57,241 --> 00:39:58,242
Oh.

635
00:39:58,618 --> 00:39:59,994
Eat Pray Love, motherfuckers!

636
00:40:00,161 --> 00:40:02,079
I gotta live
with this hair, yo.

637
00:40:02,830 --> 00:40:04,499
Do me like Rihanna.

638
00:40:04,624 --> 00:40:07,876
Rihanna when? She had, like, 26
hairdos in the past two years.

639
00:40:08,127 --> 00:40:10,171
2009 Rihanna, I got to spell
that shit out for you?

640
00:40:10,338 --> 00:40:12,881
Look, everybody's still hatin'
on Chris Brown,

641
00:40:13,007 --> 00:40:15,843
so maybe they'll throw me a
bone gettin' back at that fool.

642
00:40:17,052 --> 00:40:18,387
♪ Beat a bitch down

643
00:40:18,513 --> 00:40:20,055
♪ If you're named Chris Brown

644
00:40:20,640 --> 00:40:21,723
♪ Beat a bitch down ♪

645
00:40:30,650 --> 00:40:31,775
The fuck is that?

646
00:40:32,151 --> 00:40:34,529
Litchfield one,
pussy shutterbug zero.

647
00:40:35,363 --> 00:40:37,031
You put a straw in coffee?

648
00:40:37,406 --> 00:40:38,866
I just had my teeth bleached.

649
00:40:40,451 --> 00:40:41,452
Where was it?

650
00:40:41,785 --> 00:40:43,204
Healy found it.

651
00:40:43,287 --> 00:40:45,873
Good to know someone around
here is on his game.

652
00:40:46,541 --> 00:40:48,042
He "found" it?

653
00:40:48,834 --> 00:40:50,919
You're buying that, no contest?

654
00:40:51,045 --> 00:40:53,797
What, you think Healy's
running around here like a frat boy

655
00:40:53,881 --> 00:40:55,090
taking pictures of snatch?

656
00:40:56,551 --> 00:40:57,751
I think we should look into it.

657
00:40:57,885 --> 00:41:00,721
Seems kind of irrelevant now,
don't you think?

658
00:41:03,599 --> 00:41:05,393
We both know you're
after my job, Joe.

659
00:41:06,060 --> 00:41:08,812
But I'm not worried. Never have been.
Know why?

660
00:41:09,188 --> 00:41:11,315
'Cause you get
mired down in pettiness

661
00:41:11,440 --> 00:41:13,568
instead of
stepping your shit up.

662
00:41:14,985 --> 00:41:16,320
Nice haircut, by the way.

663
00:41:32,169 --> 00:41:33,212
Thanks.

664
00:41:33,504 --> 00:41:34,672
Sure.

665
00:41:35,923 --> 00:41:37,925
I keep feeling like I know you
from somewhere.

666
00:41:39,093 --> 00:41:40,333
You didn't go to Smith,
did you?

667
00:41:42,763 --> 00:41:43,931
Cabot High Wildcats?

668
00:41:44,014 --> 00:41:45,266
Nope.

669
00:41:46,058 --> 00:41:48,603
You know, I lived in Red Hook
for a while after college.

670
00:41:49,437 --> 00:41:51,313
I used to bag
groceries at Fairway.

671
00:41:51,439 --> 00:41:52,607
No way!

672
00:41:52,814 --> 00:41:54,734
Oh, my God, I remember you.

673
00:41:54,816 --> 00:41:56,235
You were always
forgetting your cloth bags.

674
00:41:56,360 --> 00:41:57,760
And I would pack
everything in paper

675
00:41:57,819 --> 00:41:59,947
and then you'd remember and get
the bags out of your purse

676
00:42:00,030 --> 00:42:01,365
and make me
re-pack everything.

677
00:42:01,907 --> 00:42:04,744
Oh, boy. Yeah, I guess that did
happen a couple of times, huh.

678
00:42:04,910 --> 00:42:08,289
Every time. For months.
You were a pain in the ass.

679
00:42:08,372 --> 00:42:09,707
Well...

680
00:42:09,915 --> 00:42:12,209
Who'da thunk we'd
end up here, huh?

681
00:42:13,586 --> 00:42:17,214
Anyway, I just want you to know,
that as far as I'm concerned,

682
00:42:17,298 --> 00:42:19,133
you and me are the same.

683
00:42:19,883 --> 00:42:20,884
Pardon?

684
00:42:20,968 --> 00:42:21,969
The only
difference between us is,

685
00:42:22,052 --> 00:42:24,805
when I made bad decisions in
life, I didn't get caught.

686
00:42:24,930 --> 00:42:27,099
It coulda been me
here in khaki, easy.

687
00:42:28,517 --> 00:42:29,727
Thank you for saying that.

688
00:42:32,313 --> 00:42:33,814
You know,
it's really nice to know

689
00:42:33,939 --> 00:42:35,441
that there's
somebody on our side.

690
00:42:35,899 --> 00:42:37,401
Well, you know.

691
00:42:40,237 --> 00:42:43,282
You know what would really help
to boost morale around here?

692
00:42:47,787 --> 00:42:49,497
You know, I saw that
bitch heading on over

693
00:42:49,580 --> 00:42:52,833
to Healy's office,
looking guilty as fuck.

694
00:42:54,042 --> 00:42:57,171
Guess suckin' dick's a little
easier than honest hard work.

695
00:42:57,338 --> 00:42:59,298
I feel sorry for her.

696
00:43:02,384 --> 00:43:04,261
You're right, Leanne.
Compassion

697
00:43:04,386 --> 00:43:06,305
is what we got
over the monkeys.

698
00:43:07,515 --> 00:43:08,683
You know what, though?

699
00:43:08,808 --> 00:43:12,894
Compassion ain't gonna help this
girl learn the way of things.

700
00:43:13,020 --> 00:43:14,563
I learned, we all learned.

701
00:43:15,481 --> 00:43:18,859
And that is that you have get
broken down to get raised back up.

702
00:43:19,109 --> 00:43:23,155
You know, I'm with you, hon.
Really.

703
00:43:23,739 --> 00:43:26,325
She's Waspy and
entitled and always

704
00:43:26,408 --> 00:43:28,035
asking if you have
this in whole grain,

705
00:43:28,160 --> 00:43:30,287
she's got the Bambi shtick
going on, I get all of it.

706
00:43:30,705 --> 00:43:34,249
But I'm gonna need you to
shut the fuck up about her

707
00:43:34,375 --> 00:43:36,752
and get over your shit.

708
00:43:37,169 --> 00:43:38,212
Or what?

709
00:43:45,553 --> 00:43:47,054
Or I will fuck you.

710
00:43:48,764 --> 00:43:50,140
Literally.

711
00:43:51,225 --> 00:43:53,728
I will sneak into your bunk
in the middle of the night

712
00:43:53,894 --> 00:43:55,771
and I'll lick your pussy.

713
00:43:56,188 --> 00:43:59,483
And I will do it
so good and so soft

714
00:43:59,567 --> 00:44:02,778
that you're gonna be on the edge
of coming by the time you wake up,

715
00:44:02,903 --> 00:44:04,238
and then I'll stop.

716
00:44:05,823 --> 00:44:08,242
And you'll be half asleep
and you'll beg for it.

717
00:44:08,367 --> 00:44:09,577
Oh, you will beg for it.

718
00:44:11,662 --> 00:44:14,248
And maybe I'll be nice,
and maybe I won't,

719
00:44:14,373 --> 00:44:17,501
but if I am nice?
The things you feel?

720
00:44:19,795 --> 00:44:22,089
They will ruin you forever.

721
00:44:24,425 --> 00:44:28,387
So, you know, choose.

722
00:44:33,141 --> 00:44:35,977
And exhale slowly.

723
00:44:39,356 --> 00:44:43,110
And float all the way down.

724
00:44:47,782 --> 00:44:49,533
Halfway up,

725
00:44:53,120 --> 00:44:57,957
and now roll all
the way down again,

726
00:45:01,211 --> 00:45:04,715
bend at the waist,
and let the arms hang.

727
00:45:09,969 --> 00:45:14,391
And continue to breathe,
and hang.

728
00:45:37,665 --> 00:45:38,874
Hey, what up?

729
00:45:38,998 --> 00:45:40,167
Hi.

730
00:45:40,292 --> 00:45:42,711
You got a minute? My man,
Three-D, wants to chat.

731
00:46:09,864 --> 00:46:11,448
You that track and
field girl, right?

732
00:46:12,700 --> 00:46:13,868
Yeah.

733
00:46:16,495 --> 00:46:17,705
You can't be here, yo.

734
00:46:18,079 --> 00:46:19,456
Little Frank told
me to come on by.

735
00:46:19,581 --> 00:46:22,001
Little Frank is not
a forward thinker.

736
00:46:28,757 --> 00:46:30,885
Look around you.
What you see?

737
00:46:32,386 --> 00:46:35,848
A party. People.

738
00:46:35,931 --> 00:46:37,182
What kinda people?

739
00:46:39,894 --> 00:46:40,936
Your crew.

740
00:46:41,436 --> 00:46:44,105
My crew, we thugs.

741
00:46:46,441 --> 00:46:50,863
We ain't finished school, we got
what we got until the next bust.

742
00:46:51,613 --> 00:46:53,490
It look like
you're doing okay to me.

743
00:46:57,285 --> 00:46:59,914
You're the real thing,
you feel me?

744
00:47:01,164 --> 00:47:03,333
Everything we playin' at,
everything we holdin',

745
00:47:03,458 --> 00:47:05,627
you can have it for real.

746
00:47:07,671 --> 00:47:09,965
You wanna fuck that up,
that's on you.

747
00:47:10,925 --> 00:47:12,509
I can't carry that.

748
00:47:14,261 --> 00:47:16,013
Yo, Richie.

749
00:47:20,475 --> 00:47:21,769
Make sure she gets home.

750
00:47:22,644 --> 00:47:26,815
You need money for sneakers
or whatever, give me a shout.

751
00:47:31,904 --> 00:47:33,906
I know where the door is.

752
00:47:46,627 --> 00:47:47,962
What up, rocket girl?

753
00:47:50,213 --> 00:47:51,840
I got booted, that's what.

754
00:47:51,966 --> 00:47:55,176
Well, Three-D got his own
ideas about right and wrong,

755
00:47:55,302 --> 00:47:56,971
like he Robin Hood
or something.

756
00:47:58,137 --> 00:47:59,180
And who are you?

757
00:47:59,932 --> 00:48:04,061
You wanna party, I'm the brother
that's not gonna stop you.

758
00:48:06,814 --> 00:48:10,859
You know, 'cause you got those
thick thighs on you, girl, like...

759
00:48:11,110 --> 00:48:13,361
Look good on a woman. Yeah.

760
00:48:13,946 --> 00:48:16,698
I usually go running and...

761
00:48:18,575 --> 00:48:21,328
Now, that dress, that's
not doin' you any favors.

762
00:48:25,248 --> 00:48:26,667
Let's share.

763
00:48:34,883 --> 00:48:36,510
Thank you.

764
00:48:36,593 --> 00:48:39,346
Dude, $3 tip on a $67 tab?

765
00:48:39,471 --> 00:48:42,349
What, is 70 your lucky number
or something? What is that?

766
00:48:43,851 --> 00:48:45,019
D-bag.

767
00:48:48,772 --> 00:48:49,773
What'll you have?

768
00:48:52,567 --> 00:48:53,568
This.

769
00:48:54,277 --> 00:48:55,988
I'm buying you a drink.

770
00:48:58,907 --> 00:49:00,951
Uh... Margarita?

771
00:49:02,619 --> 00:49:03,745
Okay.

772
00:49:09,376 --> 00:49:11,378
Let me ask you something.

773
00:49:13,047 --> 00:49:14,882
Do I seem pathetic to you?

774
00:49:15,340 --> 00:49:17,551
Before or after you
asked that question?

775
00:49:19,011 --> 00:49:20,846
This is my first
time out by myself.

776
00:49:22,472 --> 00:49:24,892
First time in
a long time, I mean.

777
00:49:26,060 --> 00:49:32,024
And I just don't wanna
be, you know, that guy.

778
00:49:37,320 --> 00:49:38,739
That guy?

779
00:49:40,281 --> 00:49:42,450
That guy's worth
about $75 million.

780
00:49:43,618 --> 00:49:46,329
Yeah. He writes
action movies about robots

781
00:49:46,413 --> 00:49:48,053
that turn into other robots,
or something.

782
00:49:48,498 --> 00:49:49,624
And he tips well.

783
00:49:52,377 --> 00:49:53,754
You're doing just fine.

784
00:49:59,968 --> 00:50:00,969
Cheers.

785
00:50:01,095 --> 00:50:02,137
And to you.

786
00:50:08,810 --> 00:50:09,937
So what's your story?

787
00:50:13,941 --> 00:50:15,943
Jesus Christ.

788
00:50:16,110 --> 00:50:17,276
What?

789
00:50:17,945 --> 00:50:19,780
What's my story?

790
00:50:19,947 --> 00:50:21,782
I'm sorry, did I piss you off?

791
00:50:21,907 --> 00:50:24,283
No, you... Yes.

792
00:50:25,119 --> 00:50:26,411
Yes, I'm pissed off.

793
00:50:27,454 --> 00:50:30,082
Because, you're gorgeous.

794
00:50:31,541 --> 00:50:34,335
Your mouth is amazing.
Your neck?

795
00:50:34,461 --> 00:50:36,755
My God, your ass looks
great in those jeans.

796
00:50:36,838 --> 00:50:39,133
No offense,
I'm sorry, I just...

797
00:50:39,216 --> 00:50:41,260
And I feel shitty for
even looking at you.

798
00:50:41,342 --> 00:50:44,138
Because I have a fiancee.

799
00:50:46,389 --> 00:50:47,975
And you know what
else I can't do?

800
00:50:49,226 --> 00:50:50,309
Look at her.

801
00:50:52,020 --> 00:50:53,897
Because she's in
fucking prison.

802
00:50:54,606 --> 00:50:59,278
Yeah, yeah, because she did
something stupid and crazy and...

803
00:51:00,988 --> 00:51:05,993
...indicative of an ominously
shaky moral compass.

804
00:51:06,118 --> 00:51:09,537
And as a result I am stuck
here, alone, at this bar.

805
00:51:09,663 --> 00:51:12,499
Talking to you and enjoying it
and feeling like an asshole.

806
00:51:15,836 --> 00:51:17,671
Polly was right.
Fuck her.

807
00:51:27,430 --> 00:51:29,266
I'm gonna be in
the New York Times.

808
00:51:40,652 --> 00:51:43,571
Track is back open.
F-your-I.

809
00:51:43,697 --> 00:51:45,032
Pardon me?

810
00:51:46,033 --> 00:51:49,703
I'm reassigning Fischer, eight
hours a week. Her request.

811
00:51:50,162 --> 00:51:52,664
Apparently,
there's some film thing

812
00:51:52,789 --> 00:51:55,334
going around,
23 hours or whatever,

813
00:51:55,416 --> 00:51:59,880
says how exercise saves us
bucks in the long term.

814
00:52:00,379 --> 00:52:03,633
Which appeals to you, 'cause you're
chief bean-counter now, right?

815
00:52:04,634 --> 00:52:05,635
Uhh...

816
00:52:05,760 --> 00:52:08,305
Fig is gonna eat that shit up.

817
00:52:08,722 --> 00:52:10,563
You come up with this
in a vision or something?

818
00:52:11,350 --> 00:52:14,811
It was all Fischer.
Trust the woman, right?

819
00:52:16,395 --> 00:52:19,066
Doesn't threaten
me to admit it,

820
00:52:19,233 --> 00:52:21,902
that is one smart piece of ass.

821
00:52:29,243 --> 00:52:32,579
No, no, no, no, no!
Mi Diablo! No!

822
00:52:44,258 --> 00:52:45,759
Holy shit.

823
00:52:51,848 --> 00:52:53,267
Jesus Christ, Flores.

824
00:52:59,940 --> 00:53:03,484
That was the only place in this
prison I could take a shit. Fuck!

825
00:53:04,736 --> 00:53:06,071
Fucking dios.

826
00:53:20,710 --> 00:53:23,462
You make them wait,
it ain't gonna help.

827
00:53:36,726 --> 00:53:38,728
Have a seat, Miss Jefferson.

828
00:53:55,578 --> 00:53:58,665
Yo. Yo, you see
that nigga face?

829
00:53:58,832 --> 00:54:00,499
Yo, Islam motherfucker
got so much beard,

830
00:54:00,625 --> 00:54:02,385
he ain't seen his own face
since high school.

831
00:54:02,461 --> 00:54:04,087
Ain't no Islam, he a Sikh.
You racist.

832
00:54:06,131 --> 00:54:07,331
Hit the corner, hit the corner.

833
00:54:07,341 --> 00:54:08,581
We gonna lose
'em at the corner.

834
00:54:11,678 --> 00:54:13,347
Wait up, yo!
Come on!

835
00:54:13,430 --> 00:54:16,057
I said, wait up.
Don't be showin' off.

836
00:54:17,934 --> 00:54:19,894
Put your hands
where I can see them!

837
00:54:20,603 --> 00:54:24,858
Get down on the ground.
Get down on the ground!

838
00:54:25,192 --> 00:54:26,525
Okay, okay.

839
00:54:59,460 --> 00:55:01,728
This don't make us even.

840
00:55:04,231 --> 00:55:05,357
Okay.

841
00:55:31,049 --> 00:55:41,969
<font color="#ec14bd">Sync & corrections by honeybunny</font>
<font color="#ec14bd">www.addic7ed.com</font>

