﻿1
00:01:03,162 --> 00:01:13,667
<font color=#ec14bd>Sync & corrections by honeybunny</font>
<font color=#ec14bd>www.addic7ed.com</font>

2
00:01:22,392 --> 00:01:23,477
The President doesn't care

3
00:01:23,602 --> 00:01:24,729
about the Hispanic plight.

4
00:01:24,854 --> 00:01:27,565
He doesn't care
about poor Mexicans...

5
00:01:48,586 --> 00:01:51,422
Well, you didn't miss much, if
it makes you feel any better.

6
00:01:51,547 --> 00:01:52,855
Except movie night.

7
00:01:52,975 --> 00:01:55,426
We got Joe Versus the Volcano.
That was pretty good.

8
00:01:55,551 --> 00:01:57,595
And we got meatloaf twice.

9
00:01:57,929 --> 00:02:00,265
Personally,
I think it should be baked,

10
00:02:00,431 --> 00:02:02,767
and here they steam it
so it gets all pasty.

11
00:02:02,850 --> 00:02:05,019
Do not tell Red I said that.

12
00:02:05,103 --> 00:02:08,439
I mean, she knows, but she got
feelings just like everybody else.

13
00:02:09,107 --> 00:02:11,109
You know those good mashed
potatoes that Red makes,

14
00:02:11,234 --> 00:02:12,526
from the real
potatoes and not the box?

15
00:02:12,610 --> 00:02:13,611
Yeah.

16
00:02:13,736 --> 00:02:16,864
Maybe you could ask about getting
some of that served up tonight.

17
00:02:17,156 --> 00:02:18,199
You her girl.

18
00:02:18,741 --> 00:02:20,952
Well, she works up the menus
a week in advance, so...

19
00:02:21,953 --> 00:02:24,496
Think about what
I've been through.

20
00:02:27,292 --> 00:02:28,960
Can't promise anything.

21
00:02:42,098 --> 00:02:47,145
Twenty-six, 27, 28, 29, 30! Ha-ha!
Who's the big talker now?

22
00:02:47,270 --> 00:02:48,438
You were
counting too fast!

23
00:02:48,520 --> 00:02:50,564
Bullshit, Vause.
I told you, it can't be done.

24
00:02:50,648 --> 00:02:52,358
Six saltines in 30 seconds?

25
00:02:55,111 --> 00:03:00,325
You are a disgusting animal.
Okay? What the fuck?

26
00:03:00,450 --> 00:03:03,619
I mean, which is a quality
I greatly admire in a person.

27
00:03:03,702 --> 00:03:05,246
You're in touch
with your primal self.

28
00:03:06,622 --> 00:03:10,835
Yeah, well, my primal self cannot
resist a dare, apparently.

29
00:03:11,501 --> 00:03:15,214
Which is also how I ended up
with three broken toes

30
00:03:15,340 --> 00:03:17,133
and, briefly, chlamydia.

31
00:03:18,050 --> 00:03:19,177
And in prison.

32
00:03:19,302 --> 00:03:21,720
Well, that wasn't so much
a dare, as it was a deal.

33
00:03:24,223 --> 00:03:27,018
Officer Webster,
pick up extension 414.

34
00:03:34,192 --> 00:03:37,028
Hey, get over here.
You're missing a moment.

35
00:03:37,153 --> 00:03:39,364
Visitation will be
ending in five minutes.

36
00:03:41,615 --> 00:03:43,326
God, SHU must really suck ass.

37
00:03:43,409 --> 00:03:44,576
Man, she was in
there for two weeks.

38
00:03:44,702 --> 00:03:45,661
I've taken shits
longer than that.

39
00:03:49,999 --> 00:03:52,918
Hey, Kate Winslet.
See any icebergs?

40
00:03:56,130 --> 00:03:57,507
They're back again, Janae.

41
00:04:01,635 --> 00:04:03,595
Cut that out!

42
00:04:06,140 --> 00:04:07,266
Boys chase girls!

43
00:04:07,392 --> 00:04:08,851
Whatcha gonna do
if you catch us?

44
00:04:09,018 --> 00:04:10,686
Only one way to find out.

45
00:04:10,936 --> 00:04:12,355
Go back to your mama.

46
00:04:12,563 --> 00:04:14,315
Ooh...

47
00:04:30,206 --> 00:04:33,042
Janae! Quit showing off!

48
00:04:57,316 --> 00:05:00,445
Good morning. Welcome.

49
00:05:00,570 --> 00:05:02,363
- Hey!
- Ladies of the WAC.

50
00:05:02,447 --> 00:05:04,907
Are you taking us
to prom or something?

51
00:05:04,990 --> 00:05:06,111
Just close the door, please.

52
00:05:09,787 --> 00:05:11,122
Thank you.

53
00:05:13,082 --> 00:05:14,083
All right.

54
00:05:15,460 --> 00:05:19,130
Now, a small token
of my esteem.

55
00:05:19,713 --> 00:05:22,800
Dang, Healy.
That's proper!

56
00:05:23,468 --> 00:05:25,386
Oh!

57
00:05:25,886 --> 00:05:27,305
Now you talk
about this outside,

58
00:05:27,430 --> 00:05:28,847
you never see bear claws again.

59
00:05:28,973 --> 00:05:31,517
Silencio, Mr. Healy. We're
gonna be like Red's lady.

60
00:05:31,642 --> 00:05:32,768
What's her name?
The one that don't talk?

61
00:05:32,851 --> 00:05:34,103
Norma.

62
00:05:34,228 --> 00:05:35,480
We gonna be like four Normas.

63
00:05:36,606 --> 00:05:38,524
All right, now,
business,

64
00:05:38,648 --> 00:05:43,321
i.e. if you will, the concerns
of your fellow inmates.

65
00:05:43,653 --> 00:05:48,867
Mr. Healy, the pillow that we get
for sleeping is thin like paper.

66
00:05:48,993 --> 00:05:52,746
Sometimes, yo necessito two pillows.
For ergonomics.

67
00:05:52,830 --> 00:05:54,499
A second pillow?
Write it down.

68
00:05:54,832 --> 00:05:59,504
Okay, first of all, the hot sauce
in the commissary is bullshit.

69
00:05:59,587 --> 00:06:02,340
We want that Thailand sauce, the
one with the rooster on it.

70
00:06:03,007 --> 00:06:03,966
Rooster sauce.

71
00:06:04,049 --> 00:06:06,177
And second of all,
ain't no reason we can't

72
00:06:06,344 --> 00:06:08,471
get Fifty Shades of
Grey in the library!

73
00:06:08,596 --> 00:06:10,431
We talked about this,
Jefferson.

74
00:06:10,556 --> 00:06:12,391
Fed's not gonna
subsidize erotica.

75
00:06:13,351 --> 00:06:14,977
I've got a copy.

76
00:06:15,227 --> 00:06:16,604
I've got one, too.

77
00:06:18,272 --> 00:06:20,024
Fifty Shade.

78
00:06:21,025 --> 00:06:24,694
I withdraw my request. But Maria's
straight up about the pillows.

79
00:06:25,154 --> 00:06:26,696
Pillows again. Chapman.

80
00:06:28,907 --> 00:06:30,535
You're done?

81
00:06:30,618 --> 00:06:32,119
Far as I know.

82
00:06:32,953 --> 00:06:33,996
Okay.

83
00:06:35,665 --> 00:06:38,417
The thing is, I think
that a few basic changes

84
00:06:38,543 --> 00:06:41,337
could drastically
improve the quality of life.

85
00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:46,551
Like clinic hours every week
for preventative health care.

86
00:06:46,842 --> 00:06:48,177
And re-opening the track.

87
00:06:49,136 --> 00:06:51,222
And maybe legal counseling.

88
00:06:52,890 --> 00:06:53,932
And the GED program.

89
00:06:54,808 --> 00:06:58,770
Now, I understand that there's a
mold situation in the classroom,

90
00:06:58,896 --> 00:07:00,398
but this needs to be addressed.

91
00:07:00,565 --> 00:07:02,692
The inmates down the hill,
they get classes,

92
00:07:02,816 --> 00:07:04,943
and they are not
getting out any time soon.

93
00:07:05,528 --> 00:07:07,238
We are here for shorter stays.

94
00:07:07,572 --> 00:07:10,449
We should be learning
to improve ourselves,

95
00:07:10,575 --> 00:07:12,076
as students

96
00:07:12,243 --> 00:07:15,413
or even teachers.

97
00:07:16,414 --> 00:07:19,333
Something's telling me
she has a teacher in mind.

98
00:07:21,502 --> 00:07:22,503
Chang, you're up.

99
00:07:22,587 --> 00:07:24,589
Okay, Mr. Healy. Okay.

100
00:07:31,095 --> 00:07:32,638
Lay it on me, Chang.

101
00:07:32,763 --> 00:07:34,014
Okay.

102
00:07:39,103 --> 00:07:40,271
Good.

103
00:07:40,396 --> 00:07:42,237
We got a good list going here,
some good ideas.

104
00:07:42,273 --> 00:07:43,524
Now, the problem as I see it...

105
00:07:43,649 --> 00:07:44,900
No, sir, I really think that...

106
00:07:44,983 --> 00:07:47,612
...is that we have
a budget situation.

107
00:07:47,737 --> 00:07:50,114
Now, I can do my best,

108
00:07:50,948 --> 00:07:53,951
but it's gonna be hard for me
to do all these things

109
00:07:54,076 --> 00:07:56,912
and still be able to bring donuts
to our meetings every month.

110
00:08:01,792 --> 00:08:02,876
And coffee.

111
00:08:04,420 --> 00:08:06,297
Well, we tried.

112
00:08:11,552 --> 00:08:12,803
What just happened?

113
00:08:12,886 --> 00:08:14,221
You were there.

114
00:08:14,805 --> 00:08:16,390
We finally get an opportunity

115
00:08:16,515 --> 00:08:18,058
to make some improvements
around here and...

116
00:08:18,142 --> 00:08:19,893
Don't be gettin' all Amistad
on me, Chapman.

117
00:08:19,977 --> 00:08:22,146
Healy look like he
gunning for change?

118
00:08:22,229 --> 00:08:24,482
Okay, but what about your
campaign promises?

119
00:08:24,565 --> 00:08:25,845
Everyone say
shit to get elected.

120
00:08:25,941 --> 00:08:27,151
You ain't actually gotta do it.

121
00:08:27,276 --> 00:08:28,902
That's politics.

122
00:08:29,236 --> 00:08:31,363
I got a disciplinary
board hearing this week,

123
00:08:31,489 --> 00:08:34,784
which, if they don't take away
my good time, I go home.

124
00:08:35,284 --> 00:08:37,703
Healy said he would write
a letter vouching for me.

125
00:08:38,329 --> 00:08:39,997
I ain't looking to make waves.

126
00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:43,041
Glassy water. Smooth sailin'
right on out of here.

127
00:08:44,042 --> 00:08:48,547
So this whole WAC
thing is basically bullshit.

128
00:08:50,048 --> 00:08:51,676
Just take the donuts, girl.

129
00:08:56,514 --> 00:08:57,931
Can you believe her?

130
00:08:58,015 --> 00:09:00,892
That college bitch thinks
she can come up in here

131
00:09:01,018 --> 00:09:03,187
and take charge of
shit with her nice teeth

132
00:09:03,270 --> 00:09:05,439
and her pinky
stuck up in the air.

133
00:09:05,523 --> 00:09:07,024
She's got a surprise coming.

134
00:09:07,566 --> 00:09:08,859
Is it a pony?

135
00:09:09,652 --> 00:09:11,445
Just shut your trap, Lurch.

136
00:09:11,529 --> 00:09:13,905
Nobody cares what's comin'
outta them slit lickin' lips.

137
00:09:18,035 --> 00:09:19,620
Did you vote for her?
No.

138
00:09:19,745 --> 00:09:21,372
Did you vote for her?

139
00:09:21,497 --> 00:09:23,915
Who voted for that bitch,
raise your hand! Raise it.

140
00:09:25,250 --> 00:09:26,251
That's what I thought.

141
00:09:26,377 --> 00:09:30,381
Some Garden-of-Gethsemane
shit up in here, y'all.

142
00:09:30,548 --> 00:09:36,178
Chapman is a Judas Iscariot, cozied
on up to the High Priest Healy.

143
00:09:36,261 --> 00:09:37,722
And he throws out my vote.

144
00:09:37,805 --> 00:09:40,474
My votes that
were bestowed upon me

145
00:09:40,599 --> 00:09:43,268
from my Lord,
and gives her all the silver?

146
00:09:45,020 --> 00:09:48,399
So in this analogy,
you're Jesus Christ?

147
00:09:48,982 --> 00:09:50,735
I've been betrayed.

148
00:10:31,442 --> 00:10:33,736
Oh, gosh! Oh, no, no.

149
00:10:34,278 --> 00:10:36,113
Uh...

150
00:10:37,740 --> 00:10:42,620
Gonna be a while. I'm a little
backed up in here. Sorry.

151
00:10:57,384 --> 00:10:59,720
We were starting to
think you deserted us.

152
00:11:02,222 --> 00:11:07,185
I tried making that coconut cake myself.
Nicky called it "coco-not."

153
00:11:08,395 --> 00:11:10,648
What pain did you bring down
on her for that?

154
00:11:10,773 --> 00:11:15,026
She was right.
Your cake is inimitable.

155
00:11:17,279 --> 00:11:20,908
Norma got me an improve-your-vocabulary
book out of the library.

156
00:11:20,990 --> 00:11:24,161
You got to keep the brain
cells working, or they die.

157
00:11:24,662 --> 00:11:27,498
To be honest, there's a few things
I wouldn't mind forgetting.

158
00:11:28,499 --> 00:11:29,999
Norma saw you in the library,

159
00:11:31,460 --> 00:11:34,505
bent over a law book like a
boy hiding a titty magazine.

160
00:11:35,046 --> 00:11:37,257
I got interests
beyond coconut cake.

161
00:11:37,549 --> 00:11:39,844
So does every idiot in here.

162
00:11:40,761 --> 00:11:42,179
Where's my Mexican vanilla?

163
00:11:43,012 --> 00:11:44,013
Oh.

164
00:11:50,312 --> 00:11:54,316
Everything off the books
lives like Anne Frank now.

165
00:12:08,580 --> 00:12:10,039
Seems like a lot of trouble.

166
00:12:10,958 --> 00:12:14,545
You get too comfortable,
people take advantage.

167
00:12:16,881 --> 00:12:18,215
You got it under control?

168
00:12:19,591 --> 00:12:22,219
Don't go looking for miracles,
Claudette.

169
00:12:22,887 --> 00:12:25,723
You and me, we figured out
how to do time.

170
00:12:29,434 --> 00:12:33,355
Well, at least it's
better than SHU, right?

171
00:12:34,857 --> 00:12:38,109
I mean, the isolation
must just be terrible.

172
00:12:38,819 --> 00:12:39,904
Or not.

173
00:12:39,987 --> 00:12:41,613
I've never been to SHU.

174
00:12:42,322 --> 00:12:44,366
I've read that it can be
very loud down there,

175
00:12:44,449 --> 00:12:46,744
with people yelling
at each other all the time?

176
00:12:49,204 --> 00:12:50,873
When I said that
I'd never been to SHU,

177
00:12:50,998 --> 00:12:52,708
did that make me
sound like an asshole?

178
00:12:52,833 --> 00:12:54,043
Because obviously I didn't...

179
00:12:54,125 --> 00:12:55,753
Fuck, Chapman.

180
00:13:00,298 --> 00:13:01,299
Ah!

181
00:13:01,675 --> 00:13:04,762
Here's why
the floodlights went out.

182
00:13:05,721 --> 00:13:07,806
It looks like
a rat got to this.

183
00:13:07,932 --> 00:13:10,183
Ew! I fucking hate rats.

184
00:13:10,726 --> 00:13:13,604
My brother had one
while we were growing up.

185
00:13:13,729 --> 00:13:15,606
It was kind of cute, actually.

186
00:13:15,689 --> 00:13:17,441
He named it Antonio.

187
00:13:18,943 --> 00:13:21,278
I saw one chewed
up a baby's face.

188
00:13:21,403 --> 00:13:23,697
I named it "fuckin'
face-chewing rat."

189
00:13:24,406 --> 00:13:25,699
You gonna fix the wire or what?

190
00:13:25,824 --> 00:13:27,158
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

191
00:13:30,871 --> 00:13:31,872
Ah! Shit!

192
00:13:31,956 --> 00:13:33,331
Did you turn off the switch?

193
00:13:33,457 --> 00:13:34,792
I thought that you
turned off the switch.

194
00:13:34,917 --> 00:13:36,293
Oh, man!

195
00:13:36,376 --> 00:13:38,295
It's okay. It's my fault.

196
00:13:40,589 --> 00:13:43,300
So you're back
in the rooms, huh?

197
00:13:44,551 --> 00:13:46,511
I hope they didn't
stick you with De Marco.

198
00:13:46,637 --> 00:13:48,472
I mean, she's super
nice and everything,

199
00:13:48,597 --> 00:13:53,310
but, man, that breathing machine
can just drive you bonkers.

200
00:13:54,979 --> 00:13:58,482
You know, if you want,
I can make you some ear plugs.

201
00:13:58,565 --> 00:14:01,026
I take a little bit of
stuffing out of a pillow,

202
00:14:01,150 --> 00:14:03,654
and I just smush it
up in some Vaseline,

203
00:14:03,946 --> 00:14:07,491
and then I wrap it up in some
plastic wrap from the sack lunches.

204
00:14:07,574 --> 00:14:11,120
The rooms is full, all right?
I'm in the ghetto tonight.

205
00:14:11,328 --> 00:14:13,580
But you could still
use them in there.

206
00:14:13,664 --> 00:14:15,666
I'll make you some, okay?

207
00:14:18,002 --> 00:14:21,546
Jesus fucking shit.

208
00:14:22,297 --> 00:14:23,632
Sorry?

209
00:14:24,633 --> 00:14:25,759
What?

210
00:14:29,179 --> 00:14:30,263
It was you.

211
00:14:31,015 --> 00:14:32,016
What?

212
00:14:32,141 --> 00:14:34,018
The screwdriver what.

213
00:14:34,143 --> 00:14:36,520
Acting all sweet
like a piece of candy.

214
00:14:37,437 --> 00:14:40,024
Nobody's sweet in
here except for a reason.

215
00:14:41,525 --> 00:14:43,234
I don't know what
you're talking about.

216
00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:46,196
Do not fucking
lie to me, bitch.

217
00:14:47,072 --> 00:14:50,492
Do not fucking insult me
after what you done already.

218
00:14:58,917 --> 00:15:00,002
In my defense,

219
00:15:00,961 --> 00:15:02,546
I would just like
to point out that technically,

220
00:15:02,671 --> 00:15:04,512
you did not go down
because of the screwdriver.

221
00:15:04,548 --> 00:15:05,828
Technically,
you went down to SHU

222
00:15:05,883 --> 00:15:07,467
because you got all
up in Caputo's face.

223
00:15:07,551 --> 00:15:11,055
Lady, we in a tight-ass space
and I bench 140.

224
00:15:11,138 --> 00:15:14,016
You sure "technically" is how
you wanna handle this shit?

225
00:15:17,061 --> 00:15:18,311
Are you gonna say anything?

226
00:15:20,647 --> 00:15:21,940
I ain't a snitch.

227
00:15:28,279 --> 00:15:29,280
Damn!

228
00:15:32,076 --> 00:15:34,786
See? This one got
the same number on both ends.

229
00:15:34,912 --> 00:15:36,747
The first time you play that,
it's called a spinner.

230
00:15:36,830 --> 00:15:40,084
You have to play the ends
and the sides, both.

231
00:15:40,709 --> 00:15:43,294
Like a no-class girl
lets you use any hole.

232
00:15:45,047 --> 00:15:46,090
Yeah.

233
00:15:54,556 --> 00:15:58,102
These are all the places I'm
gonna travel when I get out.

234
00:15:58,185 --> 00:16:01,396
Starting with Anguilla.

235
00:16:01,479 --> 00:16:04,274
I read that Orlando Bloom
honeymooned there.

236
00:16:04,399 --> 00:16:05,839
And Courteney Cox
and David Arquette,

237
00:16:05,943 --> 00:16:07,360
even though that
didn't work out.

238
00:16:07,736 --> 00:16:11,364
I love the beach,
but I burn like a lobster,

239
00:16:11,448 --> 00:16:13,117
so I'm gonna get
a good swim shirt

240
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:16,536
and, bonus, it's gonna hide
the gallbladder scar.

241
00:16:25,670 --> 00:16:27,131
Oh, yeah. Sure.

242
00:16:27,256 --> 00:16:30,134
Come on. Okay, bitches,

243
00:16:30,259 --> 00:16:33,053
who's first in line
for some puppy lovin'?

244
00:16:33,470 --> 00:16:34,972
Puppy lovin'!

245
00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:39,392
He's so cute.

246
00:16:39,476 --> 00:16:41,603
He looks just like my dog
from when I was a kid.

247
00:16:41,686 --> 00:16:43,147
Except mine was
more of a Dachshund,

248
00:16:43,313 --> 00:16:44,815
but the nostril
part is the same.

249
00:16:45,065 --> 00:16:46,608
You look just like Chummy.

250
00:16:46,984 --> 00:16:48,652
Make him do a trick.

251
00:16:48,777 --> 00:16:50,570
She doesn't know any yet.

252
00:16:50,695 --> 00:16:52,281
Well, maybe you can
take some time off

253
00:16:52,405 --> 00:16:53,949
from sitting
around eating all day,

254
00:16:54,032 --> 00:16:55,909
and teach him something.

255
00:16:58,078 --> 00:16:59,579
Fucking asshole.

256
00:16:59,663 --> 00:17:02,499
Chapman wrote me three letters
for my case and it did fuck-all.

257
00:17:02,624 --> 00:17:04,835
They ain't lettin' people out who
hasn't done their whole time.

258
00:17:05,002 --> 00:17:08,172
Well, I ain't people.
I'm training for this, bitch.

259
00:17:08,338 --> 00:17:11,716
And I ain't never comin' back,
neither, not like the rest of y'all.

260
00:17:12,134 --> 00:17:15,512
Like Oprah say,
"the road less traveled."

261
00:17:15,637 --> 00:17:17,514
You know, that doesn't mean
what everybody thinks it means.

262
00:17:17,764 --> 00:17:20,350
Aw, shit, we about to
get educated and shit.

263
00:17:20,475 --> 00:17:23,020
No, no, no. I'm just saying that
everyone thinks the poem means

264
00:17:23,103 --> 00:17:25,022
to break away from the crowd
and, like, do your own thing.

265
00:17:25,147 --> 00:17:27,024
But if you read it,
Frost is very clear

266
00:17:27,191 --> 00:17:29,067
that the two roads
are exactly the same.

267
00:17:29,193 --> 00:17:30,819
He just chooses one at random.

268
00:17:30,902 --> 00:17:33,404
And then it's only later at a dinner
party, when he's talking about it

269
00:17:33,530 --> 00:17:34,656
that he tells
everybody he chose

270
00:17:34,739 --> 00:17:36,379
the road less
traveled by, but he's lying.

271
00:17:40,787 --> 00:17:42,497
So the point of the poem is,

272
00:17:42,580 --> 00:17:43,874
that everyone
wants to look back

273
00:17:43,999 --> 00:17:45,209
and think that
their choices mattered,

274
00:17:45,334 --> 00:17:48,962
but in reality, shit just happens
the way that it happens,

275
00:17:49,046 --> 00:17:51,298
and it does not mean anything.

276
00:17:52,799 --> 00:17:55,552
I will probably kill
her in her sleep tonight.

277
00:17:55,677 --> 00:17:57,554
Wake me up so I can watch.

278
00:17:58,889 --> 00:18:00,265
I'm gonna...

279
00:18:01,892 --> 00:18:03,393
Laundry.

280
00:18:03,476 --> 00:18:06,146
You ever notice how some dog
breeds, they sound kind of dirty?

281
00:18:06,646 --> 00:18:11,193
Like, shih tzu,
cocker, Jack-something.

282
00:18:12,569 --> 00:18:13,611
Poodle.

283
00:18:13,904 --> 00:18:17,032
That is good.

284
00:18:17,908 --> 00:18:20,911
I didn't think of that one.
That is very clever.

285
00:18:21,661 --> 00:18:24,248
Hey, you know what, guys?
Look at that face.

286
00:18:24,331 --> 00:18:26,208
I'm gonna call her Little Boo.
Aw!

287
00:18:26,291 --> 00:18:29,460
Little Boo.
Who's a little boo? Yes!

288
00:18:30,420 --> 00:18:31,504
Hello?

289
00:18:31,629 --> 00:18:32,756
It's closed.

290
00:18:35,050 --> 00:18:36,093
Alex?

291
00:18:39,679 --> 00:18:41,932
I was just gonna
drop this off, but...

292
00:18:43,267 --> 00:18:44,475
Tomorrow.

293
00:18:44,601 --> 00:18:45,602
Just give it.

294
00:18:48,105 --> 00:18:49,106
Give it to me.

295
00:18:51,900 --> 00:18:53,110
Attention all personnel,

296
00:18:53,193 --> 00:18:55,946
be advised count is off. Can
we please conduct a recount?

297
00:19:04,121 --> 00:19:06,706
Do you remember the Four
Seasons in the Seychelles?

298
00:19:11,962 --> 00:19:14,256
Gosh, we just threw
our laundry into the hallway,

299
00:19:14,339 --> 00:19:16,216
it was like 40 bucks
for a pair of pants.

300
00:19:26,893 --> 00:19:27,936
Hey.

301
00:19:31,064 --> 00:19:33,066
I've been thinking about it...

302
00:19:34,734 --> 00:19:35,735
...a lot.

303
00:19:38,571 --> 00:19:40,698
And I just
wanted to let you know

304
00:19:40,824 --> 00:19:42,993
that there are
no hard feelings.

305
00:19:43,201 --> 00:19:47,831
I was pretty angry,
but, I'm over it.

306
00:19:49,958 --> 00:19:51,835
So, um...

307
00:19:53,837 --> 00:19:55,130
Friend?

308
00:19:57,174 --> 00:19:58,175
Wow.

309
00:20:00,344 --> 00:20:02,012
That's really
big of you, Pipes.

310
00:20:09,602 --> 00:20:10,603
It's not a club.

311
00:20:10,687 --> 00:20:11,813
It's a class.

312
00:20:11,938 --> 00:20:13,898
They teach you to
dance on a pole.

313
00:20:14,691 --> 00:20:19,696
If you want to be a stripper,
you can wait until I die.

314
00:20:19,904 --> 00:20:25,285
It's not stripping. It's for nice
ladies, housewives. For exercise.

315
00:20:25,702 --> 00:20:29,414
That's what they tell you!

316
00:20:29,873 --> 00:20:32,417
Then one day you
wake up in Atlantic City...

317
00:20:32,876 --> 00:20:34,711
where girls are trash...

318
00:20:34,794 --> 00:20:37,506
and I'm lighting candles
under your picture.

319
00:20:38,256 --> 00:20:42,886
Can we please speak
English at the table?

320
00:20:46,306 --> 00:20:47,974
Just at the table?

321
00:20:55,273 --> 00:20:57,734
Two more years
for a green card.

322
00:20:58,902 --> 00:21:00,153
Be nice.

323
00:21:00,445 --> 00:21:02,364
You don't have to fuck him.

324
00:21:03,614 --> 00:21:07,118
I should be lucky, a decent
man wants to fuck me.

325
00:21:09,538 --> 00:21:10,539
Oy.

326
00:21:10,747 --> 00:21:11,748
English.

327
00:21:16,086 --> 00:21:17,254
He's not eating.

328
00:21:18,713 --> 00:21:19,964
English.

329
00:21:23,927 --> 00:21:26,555
You look very
pretty in that dress.

330
00:21:27,264 --> 00:21:30,641
Thank you, Sam. It is very...

331
00:21:32,602 --> 00:21:33,603
...blue.

332
00:21:40,610 --> 00:21:42,451
You guys ever notice how,
once you're a couple,

333
00:21:42,487 --> 00:21:44,407
you pretty much only hang out
with other couples?

334
00:21:45,282 --> 00:21:49,536
A guy, a girl and another guy?
It just looks weird.

335
00:21:49,660 --> 00:21:51,538
People probably just assume
you're divorced.

336
00:21:52,289 --> 00:21:55,125
Oh. Great, so,
I look divorced,

337
00:21:55,250 --> 00:21:59,670
which conveys sadness and
ex-wife shit and lawyers' fees,

338
00:21:59,796 --> 00:22:01,923
or I look single,
34 and single,

339
00:22:02,048 --> 00:22:04,175
which must mean there's
something wrong with me.

340
00:22:04,301 --> 00:22:07,178
Like, you keep
large reptiles in tanks.

341
00:22:07,304 --> 00:22:09,389
Or I have a very special
relationship with my mother.

342
00:22:10,474 --> 00:22:12,601
I just look like a loser.

343
00:22:12,809 --> 00:22:14,249
Why don't you
switch seats with Pete?

344
00:22:14,352 --> 00:22:15,872
You're okay being a loser,
right, babe?

345
00:22:16,187 --> 00:22:17,522
I don't wanna
look like a loser.

346
00:22:17,647 --> 00:22:21,443
Okay, now look, what am I
complaining about, right?

347
00:22:21,526 --> 00:22:22,819
I mean, seriously, you know?

348
00:22:22,944 --> 00:22:25,905
We're sitting here, we're gonna
enjoy some small plates,

349
00:22:25,989 --> 00:22:27,698
while Piper sits in prison.

350
00:22:27,824 --> 00:22:29,742
You know what? Fuck Piper.

351
00:22:30,994 --> 00:22:32,703
She's in prison and it sucks.

352
00:22:32,829 --> 00:22:34,456
Let's also
stipulate there are children

353
00:22:34,581 --> 00:22:36,207
are dying of
diarrhea in Malawi.

354
00:22:36,333 --> 00:22:38,614
That doesn't mean we don't get
to complain about our lives.

355
00:22:38,627 --> 00:22:41,712
I am pregnant and the heat in our
apartment is always too high

356
00:22:41,838 --> 00:22:44,257
and it gives me nosebleeds,
and that is happening.

357
00:22:44,341 --> 00:22:47,511
Pete isn't getting laid and
he's grown that horrible beard.

358
00:22:47,636 --> 00:22:48,845
You look like a loser.

359
00:22:49,596 --> 00:22:51,306
We're all
allowed to feel shitty

360
00:22:51,431 --> 00:22:53,141
about things in our
lives that are shitty.

361
00:22:53,266 --> 00:22:56,060
And happy about
things that are awesome.

362
00:22:56,186 --> 00:22:57,854
Like this awesome beard!
Ugh.

363
00:22:57,937 --> 00:22:59,063
And your column.

364
00:22:59,189 --> 00:23:00,649
What? That's happening?

365
00:23:00,815 --> 00:23:03,901
Who can resist a "Felonious
Fiancee" story, right?

366
00:23:05,195 --> 00:23:07,364
Yeah,
it's, it's totally happening.

367
00:23:07,489 --> 00:23:09,658
New York Times, baby.
"Modern Love."

368
00:23:09,824 --> 00:23:11,700
That's huge!
Yeah.

369
00:23:11,868 --> 00:23:14,204
Does Piper know?
Is she cool about it?

370
00:23:14,703 --> 00:23:17,040
I mean, sort of.

371
00:23:17,165 --> 00:23:21,628
Yeah, I mean, she's
sorting out her feelings,

372
00:23:21,836 --> 00:23:23,547
I guess, you know.

373
00:23:23,672 --> 00:23:28,009
I'm going to tell her tomorrow, you know.
Now that it's for sure.

374
00:23:35,183 --> 00:23:36,184
Oh, man!

375
00:23:44,817 --> 00:23:46,735
What's up with that, girl?

376
00:23:52,825 --> 00:23:54,743
Would you shut the fuck up.

377
00:23:55,286 --> 00:23:57,706
I know you ain't fucking
with my beauty rest, yo.

378
00:23:57,830 --> 00:23:59,541
It's fucking Watson, man.

379
00:24:00,166 --> 00:24:02,793
They closed
the track on me, haters.

380
00:24:02,919 --> 00:24:05,255
I ain't gonna get soft
like the rest of y'all.

381
00:24:05,380 --> 00:24:06,660
Look, none of that's
gonna matter

382
00:24:06,755 --> 00:24:08,883
when they throw your
ass in SHU, part two.

383
00:24:08,966 --> 00:24:11,219
I got 10 minutes before
the CO come back around.

384
00:24:11,302 --> 00:24:13,680
Man, somebody get this bitch
a hamster wheel.

385
00:24:15,181 --> 00:24:17,058
What you gonna do
about it, Jemima?

386
00:24:17,642 --> 00:24:18,893
The hell you just call me?

387
00:24:20,144 --> 00:24:22,647
I said, what you gonna do?

388
00:24:24,399 --> 00:24:25,983
Lightning fast!

389
00:24:26,859 --> 00:24:28,339
Did you see
the Fillmore coach's face?

390
00:24:29,112 --> 00:24:32,198
He had no idea what happened to him.
You happened to him.

391
00:24:32,282 --> 00:24:33,658
I just ran, Coach.

392
00:24:33,824 --> 00:24:35,185
Well,
Watson, you just ran yourself

393
00:24:35,201 --> 00:24:36,481
into the high
school record book.

394
00:24:37,036 --> 00:24:38,413
That gonna help
with scholarships?

395
00:24:38,538 --> 00:24:40,139
Girl, colleges will
be fighting over you.

396
00:24:41,958 --> 00:24:43,376
Now, you get dressed.
Okay.

397
00:24:43,460 --> 00:24:46,504
I'll introduce you around, all right?
They're all waiting.

398
00:25:07,442 --> 00:25:08,485
You ran good.

399
00:25:09,444 --> 00:25:10,445
I know it.

400
00:25:17,661 --> 00:25:22,791
The universe did you wrong. Then
they took away your track, I get it.

401
00:25:23,667 --> 00:25:25,585
What you talking 'bout,
you get it?

402
00:25:25,669 --> 00:25:28,254
Yo, go on back to the suburbs,
string cheese.

403
00:25:28,879 --> 00:25:31,882
I was like you once.
Pissed off,

404
00:25:33,009 --> 00:25:35,679
thought the world
owed me something.

405
00:25:35,804 --> 00:25:39,182
It took me a long time
to let go of that anger.

406
00:25:39,390 --> 00:25:42,851
Bitch, you lying to yourself with
this whole Namaste bullshit.

407
00:25:43,060 --> 00:25:44,813
You're a step ahead already,

408
00:25:44,895 --> 00:25:48,149
channeling your feelings
through physical activity,

409
00:25:48,232 --> 00:25:51,444
which means,
the mind and body connect.

410
00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:56,199
Who touched you, yo?
Was it your uncle?

411
00:25:58,660 --> 00:26:00,036
Your daddy?

412
00:26:00,662 --> 00:26:05,041
Okay, you want to project your
issues onto me? That's cool.

413
00:26:07,043 --> 00:26:08,378
But I feel bad for you.

414
00:26:09,796 --> 00:26:14,384
That negative energy
is gonna eat you up inside.

415
00:26:15,552 --> 00:26:17,470
Man, you this deep in the shit,

416
00:26:17,595 --> 00:26:19,514
you must have done
something fucking evil.

417
00:26:20,348 --> 00:26:21,349
Huh?

418
00:26:23,267 --> 00:26:25,061
Why you in here, yo?

419
00:26:26,396 --> 00:26:27,856
Did you kill someone?

420
00:26:29,315 --> 00:26:31,401
You fucked a kid?

421
00:26:31,735 --> 00:26:32,736
Oh!

422
00:26:34,237 --> 00:26:35,697
You kill a kid?

423
00:26:45,081 --> 00:26:46,750
That's what I thought.

424
00:26:51,421 --> 00:26:52,422
Huh!

425
00:27:09,773 --> 00:27:11,858
Chapman, come in.

426
00:27:11,940 --> 00:27:14,444
Or vojdite,
as they say in Kiev.

427
00:27:14,652 --> 00:27:15,653
Ahh!

428
00:27:16,112 --> 00:27:17,405
Are you planning a vacation?

429
00:27:17,572 --> 00:27:18,947
If I were,
it would be somewhere

430
00:27:19,073 --> 00:27:20,473
you drink rum out
of a mini volcano.

431
00:27:21,701 --> 00:27:23,202
What can I do for you?

432
00:27:23,994 --> 00:27:24,995
The track.

433
00:27:25,663 --> 00:27:27,623
You know, I once saw this
lecture on YouTube called

434
00:27:27,624 --> 00:27:29,500
"23 and 1/2 Hours."

435
00:27:29,626 --> 00:27:32,503
It's one of those things where
someone draws on a whiteboard?

436
00:27:32,629 --> 00:27:33,962
And it says...

437
00:27:34,505 --> 00:27:36,865
Well, if the Internet says it,
then we better listen up, eh?

438
00:27:38,718 --> 00:27:39,719
Hmm.

439
00:27:41,471 --> 00:27:44,474
How much money does this institution
spend on healthcare per year?

440
00:27:46,058 --> 00:27:50,396
Walking for a half an hour a day
reduces the risk of anxiety,

441
00:27:50,605 --> 00:27:54,484
arthritis, depression, things
like dementia and diabetes.

442
00:27:54,567 --> 00:27:55,610
It helps with everything.

443
00:27:55,693 --> 00:27:58,738
If you could save money
on medical expenses

444
00:27:58,822 --> 00:28:02,074
with something as simple as
walking, why wouldn't you?

445
00:28:02,826 --> 00:28:03,907
I mean, in the long term...

446
00:28:03,992 --> 00:28:07,789
No one here gives a crap
about the long term, Chapman.

447
00:28:08,665 --> 00:28:09,707
Yo, Preparation H.

448
00:28:11,250 --> 00:28:13,461
Oops. Sorry.

449
00:28:13,670 --> 00:28:16,798
I'll come back when you're
done taking orders.

450
00:28:20,969 --> 00:28:22,512
Sitting around all day
is the worst possible thing

451
00:28:22,637 --> 00:28:24,180
that you can do for your body.

452
00:28:24,305 --> 00:28:25,465
We're already doing the time.

453
00:28:25,515 --> 00:28:26,933
I've got a deal
for you, Chapman.

454
00:28:28,893 --> 00:28:33,690
Caputo thinks a CO's been putting
inside photos on the Internet,

455
00:28:34,064 --> 00:28:37,401
but I think that kind of nonsense
is too stupid even for a CO.

456
00:28:37,777 --> 00:28:39,111
I don't know
what you're asking.

457
00:28:40,446 --> 00:28:44,617
Let's say an inmate is hiding a
camera or a cell phone or something.

458
00:28:45,785 --> 00:28:50,164
And you find it for me, I'll take
a look at opening that track.

459
00:28:53,209 --> 00:28:55,085
Prison's a big place,
Mr. Healy.

460
00:28:55,879 --> 00:28:57,881
I have confidence in you.

461
00:29:13,771 --> 00:29:16,983
Prisoner return to custody.
Prisoner return to custody.

462
00:29:17,441 --> 00:29:21,111
What's with the grin, Bennett? You
got some new silk panties on?

463
00:29:24,073 --> 00:29:27,744
Or what,
you get laid or something?

464
00:29:30,955 --> 00:29:32,582
Oh, shit!

465
00:29:32,665 --> 00:29:34,918
Bennett got laid!

466
00:29:35,919 --> 00:29:39,255
Come on, man. Spill the beans,
you fucking pussy monster.

467
00:29:39,338 --> 00:29:40,548
Was she Asian?

468
00:29:40,673 --> 00:29:41,883
No.

469
00:29:42,675 --> 00:29:45,177
I hear their
shit goes sideways.

470
00:29:46,930 --> 00:29:48,765
Well? Go ahead.

471
00:29:51,392 --> 00:29:52,685
Okay, I got laid.

472
00:29:52,769 --> 00:29:57,273
Yes! I knew it! I knew it,
you dirty whore! Come on.

473
00:29:58,107 --> 00:30:00,484
I couldn't be prouder if I was your dad.

474
00:30:01,444 --> 00:30:04,948
Tell me, man.
What about her tits?

475
00:30:05,031 --> 00:30:08,701
Were they like big
floppy fucking milk jugs

476
00:30:08,785 --> 00:30:10,620
or a nice,
tight, little handful?

477
00:30:10,745 --> 00:30:11,913
What was it?

478
00:30:15,458 --> 00:30:16,459
They were fake.

479
00:30:16,626 --> 00:30:17,627
Oh!

480
00:30:18,252 --> 00:30:23,007
She's half-Asian,
half-Brazilian.

481
00:30:25,635 --> 00:30:26,803
She's got this sister.

482
00:30:30,347 --> 00:30:31,975
Jesus fucking Christ.

483
00:30:34,894 --> 00:30:39,565
Miss Jefferson, why do you
deserve to be released?

484
00:30:39,649 --> 00:30:40,984
Thank you, sir.

485
00:30:41,067 --> 00:30:42,652
Let the record show

486
00:30:42,777 --> 00:30:45,655
I only had three infractions
for all my time here.

487
00:30:45,780 --> 00:30:49,993
One was for smacking a bitch for not
respecting my ice machine choices,

488
00:30:50,118 --> 00:30:54,163
and, well, the second...
They was bullshit.

489
00:30:54,246 --> 00:30:57,708
Also, I ain't never missed a
day workin' in the library.

490
00:30:57,917 --> 00:31:01,879
Don't say, "workin'," say, "employed."
The shit sound more elegant.

491
00:31:02,171 --> 00:31:04,715
Also, maybe go easy
on the bitch-smacking?

492
00:31:04,841 --> 00:31:06,092
Like, don't bring that shit up.

493
00:31:07,010 --> 00:31:08,928
All right.
Miss Jefferson,

494
00:31:09,053 --> 00:31:11,014
what have you learned from
your time in prison?

495
00:31:11,139 --> 00:31:13,349
Learned?
I ain't learned nothing.

496
00:31:13,474 --> 00:31:16,769
I came in this motherfucker
innocent, I'm still innocent.

497
00:31:16,853 --> 00:31:17,854
You keep talkin'
about innocent,

498
00:31:18,021 --> 00:31:18,980
you gonna slide on back in here

499
00:31:19,063 --> 00:31:20,731
like you got
a magnet up your ass.

500
00:31:20,857 --> 00:31:21,899
I ain't do nothing.

501
00:31:22,025 --> 00:31:23,317
Look, me, neither, all right?

502
00:31:23,442 --> 00:31:26,083
We are all just in here 'cause we
took a wrong turn goin' to church.

503
00:31:26,863 --> 00:31:30,950
Listen, what you did or didn't do.
That shit is irrelevant now.

504
00:31:31,034 --> 00:31:32,368
You gotta show remorse, fool.

505
00:31:32,451 --> 00:31:35,371
Tell 'em you met Jesus, you go
and seen the error of your ways.

506
00:31:35,496 --> 00:31:37,540
Now you gonna help
the underprivileged youth

507
00:31:37,665 --> 00:31:39,667
learn to play chess or whatnot.

508
00:31:39,750 --> 00:31:41,951
You know, so they don't end up
like your sorry ass self.

509
00:31:42,003 --> 00:31:43,171
Man, I ain't sorry!

510
00:31:43,253 --> 00:31:44,672
Aye, look, look, look.
This bitch!

511
00:31:44,755 --> 00:31:45,882
Tell 'em, tell 'em
you goin' to college.

512
00:31:46,007 --> 00:31:47,257
Man, what if I did?

513
00:31:48,759 --> 00:31:50,887
What you gonna major in?
Ebonics?

514
00:31:51,095 --> 00:31:52,680
I could be a law secretary.

515
00:31:52,763 --> 00:31:55,850
The shit I learned in my job, I'm
like Rain Man with that shit.

516
00:31:55,933 --> 00:31:58,602
You know what, sit your ass down.
It's time to get serious.

517
00:32:02,398 --> 00:32:03,774
What you gonna do about hair?

518
00:32:03,941 --> 00:32:04,942
Oh!

519
00:32:11,490 --> 00:32:13,576
But if you get
some puta pregnant...

520
00:33:20,643 --> 00:33:23,312
Gonna go and
bounce on daddy's lap?

521
00:33:24,647 --> 00:33:25,648
What did I do now?

522
00:33:26,149 --> 00:33:27,775
Don't be all cute, college.

523
00:33:29,652 --> 00:33:32,238
Have you seen my teeth?
Like, really?

524
00:33:32,655 --> 00:33:33,823
Wow. They're...

525
00:33:34,573 --> 00:33:35,658
Pretty fucked up, huh?

526
00:33:35,825 --> 00:33:36,909
Yeah.

527
00:33:37,076 --> 00:33:38,410
Genetics mostly.

528
00:33:38,744 --> 00:33:39,745
Oh.

529
00:33:40,163 --> 00:33:42,790
But my cousin, she's doin'
15 over at Lexington,

530
00:33:42,873 --> 00:33:47,461
and she got a whole new set from
the United States of America,

531
00:33:47,544 --> 00:33:49,338
D-O-C.

532
00:33:50,214 --> 00:33:51,465
Congratulations.

533
00:33:52,091 --> 00:33:53,932
So it's fine that
you're teacher's pet and all,

534
00:33:53,968 --> 00:33:55,678
but let's,
like, see what you can do.

535
00:33:58,181 --> 00:33:59,223
You want new teeth?

536
00:34:02,018 --> 00:34:04,687
Oh! Because of WAC.

537
00:34:05,229 --> 00:34:08,024
The thing is, I don't think I can.
It's not even a real thing.

538
00:34:08,149 --> 00:34:10,400
You think you're some kind
of special, don't you?

539
00:34:10,567 --> 00:34:11,902
No, I'm serious. It's a scam.

540
00:34:12,028 --> 00:34:13,403
Which, when you think about it,

541
00:34:13,529 --> 00:34:15,405
we really all
should've seen coming.

542
00:34:15,531 --> 00:34:18,201
Let me
tell you something, college.

543
00:34:19,409 --> 00:34:22,371
They're gonna treat you nice
and they're gonna use you.

544
00:34:23,706 --> 00:34:26,125
Then when you're all used up,

545
00:34:26,334 --> 00:34:29,795
you ain't gonna be nothin'.

546
00:34:30,546 --> 00:34:31,964
Knock it off, Pennsatucky.

547
00:34:34,342 --> 00:34:37,553
You sellin' us out? For what?

548
00:34:50,607 --> 00:34:53,819
Now, if it was me, I think I'd leave
the grunt work to the grunts.

549
00:34:53,903 --> 00:34:54,904
Hmm.

550
00:34:55,404 --> 00:34:59,408
I let the girls do this, half the
potato comes off with the peel.

551
00:35:00,743 --> 00:35:05,414
Seems to me like you're just
aching to put that down for a few

552
00:35:06,290 --> 00:35:07,375
and make me a sandwich.

553
00:35:08,209 --> 00:35:09,459
Not particularly.

554
00:35:19,636 --> 00:35:20,679
What kind?

555
00:35:22,265 --> 00:35:23,682
Balogna and cheese.

556
00:35:26,560 --> 00:35:27,937
No mustard.

557
00:35:29,272 --> 00:35:30,647
Double the mayo.

558
00:35:31,565 --> 00:35:33,734
Oh...

559
00:35:33,943 --> 00:35:35,342
This is great.

560
00:35:36,904 --> 00:35:42,576
This makes me very happy.

561
00:35:44,620 --> 00:35:45,621
See?

562
00:35:47,331 --> 00:35:49,708
You didn't want to
do it at first, right?

563
00:35:49,792 --> 00:35:53,670
But, now, I'm happy,
and it's no big deal for you.

564
00:35:53,796 --> 00:35:55,089
What do you want?

565
00:35:55,214 --> 00:35:56,506
I wanna be friends.

566
00:35:59,051 --> 00:36:01,595
Friends who take
care of each other.

567
00:36:03,543 --> 00:36:06,587
You got boxes coming in
with a little something extra.

568
00:36:07,296 --> 00:36:08,881
Maybe your guy gets with my guy

569
00:36:09,006 --> 00:36:10,591
and brings in
something extra for me.

570
00:36:12,468 --> 00:36:14,178
No problem.

571
00:36:14,261 --> 00:36:18,224
Just tell me if you want
zit cream or pantyhose.

572
00:36:19,225 --> 00:36:23,604
What my guy sends, it's a little
more of a specialty item.

573
00:36:25,105 --> 00:36:27,274
Since when are
pills so special?

574
00:36:28,192 --> 00:36:29,235
Give you 5%.

575
00:36:32,238 --> 00:36:35,616
What am I supposed to do with 5%?
Burn it for heat?

576
00:36:37,076 --> 00:36:39,746
My commissary maxes out at $300

577
00:36:39,912 --> 00:36:42,582
and I got all
the toothpaste I need.

578
00:36:43,123 --> 00:36:45,877
10%, final offer.

579
00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:48,962
I...

580
00:36:50,715 --> 00:36:55,428
...don't do that shit!

581
00:36:55,720 --> 00:37:01,141
This shit, that shit, blue shit, bat shit!
It doesn't matter what you do.

582
00:37:02,393 --> 00:37:04,645
It's the doing
that makes you dirty.

583
00:37:05,897 --> 00:37:08,107
Don't play games with me, Red.

584
00:37:09,191 --> 00:37:11,611
You got no more moves, Mendez.

585
00:37:13,446 --> 00:37:15,573
This is it, man.

586
00:37:17,366 --> 00:37:20,536
There is nothing here.

587
00:37:22,747 --> 00:37:25,958
You got nothing on me.

588
00:37:39,305 --> 00:37:41,515
Oh, man!

589
00:37:44,936 --> 00:37:47,814
Guess things just
got messy in here.

590
00:37:55,529 --> 00:37:57,949
Everything's been deleted off this
phone except for these photos.

591
00:37:58,031 --> 00:37:59,826
I know! People, right?

592
00:37:59,909 --> 00:38:01,702
Well, where was it?
In the trash can.

593
00:38:01,869 --> 00:38:02,870
Where?

594
00:38:03,704 --> 00:38:05,247
I don't know, I just found it.

595
00:38:06,958 --> 00:38:08,459
You know,
I appreciate that fact that

596
00:38:08,584 --> 00:38:10,085
you don't wanna
snitch on anyone.

597
00:38:10,795 --> 00:38:13,714
The way these inmates treat
snitches, it's ugly.

598
00:38:14,924 --> 00:38:18,886
But if you can't tell me
who owns this phone,

599
00:38:19,011 --> 00:38:21,180
I'm afraid I can't
help you with the track.

600
00:38:21,514 --> 00:38:24,350
That is not what you said to me.
You said specifically...

601
00:38:24,433 --> 00:38:29,396
I'm sorry, I don't know what you heard.
But, unless I have a name...

602
00:38:34,151 --> 00:38:35,235
Enjoy the phone.

603
00:38:38,364 --> 00:38:40,115
Nice work, Chapman.

604
00:38:42,869 --> 00:38:46,372
I'm giving you one more minute to
pout and then I'm shaving you bald.

605
00:38:47,957 --> 00:38:49,416
Sporting a chunk
of white girl hair,

606
00:38:49,542 --> 00:38:51,103
look like you took
a scalp or some shit.

607
00:38:51,878 --> 00:38:53,295
Yo, yo, you need
to get you that

608
00:38:53,420 --> 00:38:54,839
Michelle Obama hair, for reals.

609
00:38:54,922 --> 00:38:57,383
White folks scared of Obama.

610
00:38:57,550 --> 00:39:02,388
I wanna look like Mo'Nique
from Essence magazine, 2008.

611
00:39:02,471 --> 00:39:03,848
Girl, please, ain't enough
relaxer in the world

612
00:39:03,931 --> 00:39:04,932
for that bullshit.

613
00:39:05,057 --> 00:39:06,893
Now what makes you
so sure the board is white?

614
00:39:07,018 --> 00:39:07,977
Point. True.

615
00:39:08,060 --> 00:39:10,730
There be brothers on the board,
I'm gonna be free at last, yo,

616
00:39:10,813 --> 00:39:13,900
'cause ain't no black man
gonna let a fine black woman

617
00:39:13,983 --> 00:39:16,360
such as me hide
her light in jail.

618
00:39:16,443 --> 00:39:20,031
Fool, brother is gonna be harder
on you, to show he got no bias.

619
00:39:20,113 --> 00:39:21,908
Shit, you better
hope for the whities.

620
00:39:22,074 --> 00:39:23,242
Yo, hope for white women.

621
00:39:23,325 --> 00:39:26,119
Y'all know how they love drinking
wine with their friends,

622
00:39:26,245 --> 00:39:28,789
talking 'bout how sad it is, black
folks ain't got their fair shakes.

623
00:39:28,915 --> 00:39:31,124
What, giving their housekeepers
a extra day off and shit.

624
00:39:31,250 --> 00:39:32,668
Y'all know what I'm saying?

625
00:39:32,752 --> 00:39:36,338
So you wanna look
like the black best friend

626
00:39:36,672 --> 00:39:37,882
in the white girl movie?

627
00:39:37,965 --> 00:39:42,219
Right. Okay, so you got Regina
King in Miss Congeniality.

628
00:39:42,344 --> 00:39:45,681
You got Alicia Keys in that
Nanny Diaries bullshit

629
00:39:45,765 --> 00:39:46,965
with ScarJo.
I didn't see that.

630
00:39:48,225 --> 00:39:50,185
And Regina King
in Legally Blonde.

631
00:39:51,478 --> 00:39:53,064
Now, you not thinking
big enough.

632
00:39:53,230 --> 00:39:54,356
What?

633
00:39:54,648 --> 00:39:56,149
Viola Davis.

634
00:39:56,692 --> 00:39:57,693
Oh.

635
00:39:58,069 --> 00:39:59,445
Eat Pray Love, motherfuckers!

636
00:39:59,612 --> 00:40:01,530
I gotta live
with this hair, yo.

637
00:40:02,281 --> 00:40:03,950
Do me like Rihanna.

638
00:40:04,075 --> 00:40:07,327
Rihanna when? She had, like, 26
hairdos in the past two years.

639
00:40:07,578 --> 00:40:09,622
2009 Rihanna, I got to spell
that shit out for you?

640
00:40:09,789 --> 00:40:12,332
Look, everybody's still hatin'
on Chris Brown,

641
00:40:12,458 --> 00:40:15,294
so maybe they'll throw me a
bone gettin' back at that fool.

642
00:40:16,503 --> 00:40:17,838
♪ Beat a bitch down

643
00:40:17,964 --> 00:40:19,506
♪ If you're named Chris Brown

644
00:40:20,091 --> 00:40:21,174
♪ Beat a bitch down ♪

645
00:40:30,101 --> 00:40:31,226
The fuck is that?

646
00:40:31,602 --> 00:40:33,980
Litchfield one,
pussy shutterbug zero.

647
00:40:34,814 --> 00:40:36,482
You put a straw in coffee?

648
00:40:36,857 --> 00:40:38,317
I just had my teeth bleached.

649
00:40:39,902 --> 00:40:40,903
Where was it?

650
00:40:41,236 --> 00:40:42,655
Healy found it.

651
00:40:42,738 --> 00:40:45,324
Good to know someone around
here is on his game.

652
00:40:45,992 --> 00:40:47,493
He "found" it?

653
00:40:48,285 --> 00:40:50,370
You're buying that, no contest?

654
00:40:50,496 --> 00:40:53,248
What, you think Healy's
running around here like a frat boy

655
00:40:53,332 --> 00:40:54,541
taking pictures of snatch?

656
00:40:56,002 --> 00:40:57,202
I think we should look into it.

657
00:40:57,336 --> 00:41:00,172
Seems kind of irrelevant now,
don't you think?

658
00:41:03,050 --> 00:41:04,844
We both know you're
after my job, Joe.

659
00:41:05,511 --> 00:41:08,263
But I'm not worried. Never have been.
Know why?

660
00:41:08,639 --> 00:41:10,766
'Cause you get
mired down in pettiness

661
00:41:10,891 --> 00:41:13,019
instead of
stepping your shit up.

662
00:41:14,436 --> 00:41:15,771
Nice haircut, by the way.

663
00:41:31,620 --> 00:41:32,663
Thanks.

664
00:41:32,955 --> 00:41:34,123
Sure.

665
00:41:35,374 --> 00:41:37,376
I keep feeling like I know you
from somewhere.

666
00:41:38,544 --> 00:41:39,784
You didn't go to Smith,
did you?

667
00:41:42,214 --> 00:41:43,382
Cabot High Wildcats?

668
00:41:43,465 --> 00:41:44,717
Nope.

669
00:41:45,509 --> 00:41:48,054
You know, I lived in Red Hook
for a while after college.

670
00:41:48,888 --> 00:41:50,764
I used to bag
groceries at Fairway.

671
00:41:50,890 --> 00:41:52,058
No way!

672
00:41:52,265 --> 00:41:54,185
Oh, my God, I remember you.

673
00:41:54,267 --> 00:41:55,686
You were always
forgetting your cloth bags.

674
00:41:55,811 --> 00:41:57,211
And I would pack
everything in paper

675
00:41:57,270 --> 00:41:59,398
and then you'd remember and get
the bags out of your purse

676
00:41:59,481 --> 00:42:00,816
and make me
re-pack everything.

677
00:42:01,358 --> 00:42:04,195
Oh, boy. Yeah, I guess that did
happen a couple of times, huh.

678
00:42:04,361 --> 00:42:07,740
Every time. For months.
You were a pain in the ass.

679
00:42:07,823 --> 00:42:09,158
Well...

680
00:42:09,366 --> 00:42:11,660
Who'da thunk we'd
end up here, huh?

681
00:42:13,037 --> 00:42:16,665
Anyway, I just want you to know,
that as far as I'm concerned,

682
00:42:16,749 --> 00:42:18,584
you and me are the same.

683
00:42:19,334 --> 00:42:20,335
Pardon?

684
00:42:20,419 --> 00:42:21,420
The only
difference between us is,

685
00:42:21,503 --> 00:42:24,256
when I made bad decisions in
life, I didn't get caught.

686
00:42:24,381 --> 00:42:26,550
It coulda been me
here in khaki, easy.

687
00:42:27,968 --> 00:42:29,178
Thank you for saying that.

688
00:42:31,764 --> 00:42:33,265
You know,
it's really nice to know

689
00:42:33,390 --> 00:42:34,892
that there's
somebody on our side.

690
00:42:35,350 --> 00:42:36,852
Well, you know.

691
00:42:39,688 --> 00:42:42,733
You know what would really help
to boost morale around here?

692
00:42:47,238 --> 00:42:48,948
You know, I saw that
bitch heading on over

693
00:42:49,031 --> 00:42:52,284
to Healy's office,
looking guilty as fuck.

694
00:42:53,493 --> 00:42:56,622
Guess suckin' dick's a little
easier than honest hard work.

695
00:42:56,789 --> 00:42:58,749
I feel sorry for her.

696
00:43:01,835 --> 00:43:03,712
You're right, Leanne.
Compassion

697
00:43:03,837 --> 00:43:05,756
is what we got
over the monkeys.

698
00:43:06,966 --> 00:43:08,134
You know what, though?

699
00:43:08,259 --> 00:43:12,345
Compassion ain't gonna help this
girl learn the way of things.

700
00:43:12,471 --> 00:43:14,014
I learned, we all learned.

701
00:43:14,932 --> 00:43:18,310
And that is that you have get
broken down to get raised back up.

702
00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:22,606
You know, I'm with you, hon.
Really.

703
00:43:23,190 --> 00:43:25,776
She's Waspy and
entitled and always

704
00:43:25,859 --> 00:43:27,486
asking if you have
this in whole grain,

705
00:43:27,611 --> 00:43:29,738
she's got the Bambi shtick
going on, I get all of it.

706
00:43:30,156 --> 00:43:33,700
But I'm gonna need you to
shut the fuck up about her

707
00:43:33,826 --> 00:43:36,203
and get over your shit.

708
00:43:36,620 --> 00:43:37,663
Or what?

709
00:43:45,004 --> 00:43:46,505
Or I will fuck you.

710
00:43:48,215 --> 00:43:49,591
Literally.

711
00:43:50,676 --> 00:43:53,179
I will sneak into your bunk
in the middle of the night

712
00:43:53,345 --> 00:43:55,222
and I'll lick your pussy.

713
00:43:55,639 --> 00:43:58,934
And I will do it
so good and so soft

714
00:43:59,018 --> 00:44:02,229
that you're gonna be on the edge
of coming by the time you wake up,

715
00:44:02,354 --> 00:44:03,689
and then I'll stop.

716
00:44:05,274 --> 00:44:07,693
And you'll be half asleep
and you'll beg for it.

717
00:44:07,818 --> 00:44:09,028
Oh, you will beg for it.

718
00:44:11,113 --> 00:44:13,699
And maybe I'll be nice,
and maybe I won't,

719
00:44:13,824 --> 00:44:16,952
but if I am nice?
The things you feel?

720
00:44:19,246 --> 00:44:21,540
They will ruin you forever.

721
00:44:23,876 --> 00:44:27,838
So, you know, choose.

722
00:44:32,592 --> 00:44:35,428
And exhale slowly.

723
00:44:38,807 --> 00:44:42,561
And float all the way down.

724
00:44:47,233 --> 00:44:48,984
Halfway up,

725
00:44:52,571 --> 00:44:57,408
and now roll all
the way down again,

726
00:45:00,662 --> 00:45:04,166
bend at the waist,
and let the arms hang.

727
00:45:09,420 --> 00:45:13,842
And continue to breathe,
and hang.

728
00:45:37,116 --> 00:45:38,325
Hey, what up?

729
00:45:38,449 --> 00:45:39,618
Hi.

730
00:45:39,743 --> 00:45:42,162
You got a minute? My man,
Three-D, wants to chat.

731
00:46:09,315 --> 00:46:10,899
You that track and
field girl, right?

732
00:46:12,151 --> 00:46:13,319
Yeah.

733
00:46:15,946 --> 00:46:17,156
You can't be here, yo.

734
00:46:17,530 --> 00:46:18,907
Little Frank told
me to come on by.

735
00:46:19,032 --> 00:46:21,452
Little Frank is not
a forward thinker.

736
00:46:28,208 --> 00:46:30,336
Look around you.
What you see?

737
00:46:31,837 --> 00:46:35,299
A party. People.

738
00:46:35,382 --> 00:46:36,633
What kinda people?

739
00:46:39,345 --> 00:46:40,387
Your crew.

740
00:46:40,887 --> 00:46:43,556
My crew, we thugs.

741
00:46:45,892 --> 00:46:50,314
We ain't finished school, we got
what we got until the next bust.

742
00:46:51,064 --> 00:46:52,941
It look like
you're doing okay to me.

743
00:46:56,736 --> 00:46:59,365
You're the real thing,
you feel me?

744
00:47:00,615 --> 00:47:02,784
Everything we playin' at,
everything we holdin',

745
00:47:02,909 --> 00:47:05,078
you can have it for real.

746
00:47:07,122 --> 00:47:09,416
You wanna fuck that up,
that's on you.

747
00:47:10,376 --> 00:47:11,960
I can't carry that.

748
00:47:13,712 --> 00:47:15,464
Yo, Richie.

749
00:47:19,926 --> 00:47:21,220
Make sure she gets home.

750
00:47:22,095 --> 00:47:26,266
You need money for sneakers
or whatever, give me a shout.

751
00:47:31,355 --> 00:47:33,357
I know where the door is.

752
00:47:46,078 --> 00:47:47,413
What up, rocket girl?

753
00:47:49,664 --> 00:47:51,291
I got booted, that's what.

754
00:47:51,417 --> 00:47:54,627
Well, Three-D got his own
ideas about right and wrong,

755
00:47:54,753 --> 00:47:56,422
like he Robin Hood
or something.

756
00:47:57,588 --> 00:47:58,631
And who are you?

757
00:47:59,383 --> 00:48:03,512
You wanna party, I'm the brother
that's not gonna stop you.

758
00:48:06,265 --> 00:48:10,310
You know, 'cause you got those
thick thighs on you, girl, like...

759
00:48:10,561 --> 00:48:12,812
Look good on a woman. Yeah.

760
00:48:13,397 --> 00:48:16,149
I usually go running and...

761
00:48:18,026 --> 00:48:20,779
Now, that dress, that's
not doin' you any favors.

762
00:48:24,699 --> 00:48:26,118
Let's share.

763
00:48:34,334 --> 00:48:35,961
Thank you.

764
00:48:36,044 --> 00:48:38,797
Dude, $3 tip on a $67 tab?

765
00:48:38,922 --> 00:48:41,800
What, is 70 your lucky number
or something? What is that?

766
00:48:43,302 --> 00:48:44,470
D-bag.

767
00:48:48,223 --> 00:48:49,224
What'll you have?

768
00:48:52,018 --> 00:48:53,019
This.

769
00:48:53,728 --> 00:48:55,439
I'm buying you a drink.

770
00:48:58,358 --> 00:49:00,402
Uh... Margarita?

771
00:49:02,070 --> 00:49:03,196
Okay.

772
00:49:08,827 --> 00:49:10,829
Let me ask you something.

773
00:49:12,498 --> 00:49:14,333
Do I seem pathetic to you?

774
00:49:14,791 --> 00:49:17,002
Before or after you
asked that question?

775
00:49:18,462 --> 00:49:20,297
This is my first
time out by myself.

776
00:49:21,923 --> 00:49:24,343
First time in
a long time, I mean.

777
00:49:25,511 --> 00:49:31,475
And I just don't wanna
be, you know, that guy.

778
00:49:36,771 --> 00:49:38,190
That guy?

779
00:49:39,732 --> 00:49:41,901
That guy's worth
about $75 million.

780
00:49:43,069 --> 00:49:45,780
Yeah. He writes
action movies about robots

781
00:49:45,864 --> 00:49:47,504
that turn into other robots,
or something.

782
00:49:47,949 --> 00:49:49,075
And he tips well.

783
00:49:51,828 --> 00:49:53,205
You're doing just fine.

784
00:49:59,419 --> 00:50:00,420
Cheers.

785
00:50:00,546 --> 00:50:01,588
And to you.

786
00:50:08,261 --> 00:50:09,388
So what's your story?

787
00:50:13,392 --> 00:50:15,394
Jesus Christ.

788
00:50:15,561 --> 00:50:16,727
What?

789
00:50:17,396 --> 00:50:19,231
What's my story?

790
00:50:19,398 --> 00:50:21,233
I'm sorry, did I piss you off?

791
00:50:21,358 --> 00:50:23,734
No, you... Yes.

792
00:50:24,570 --> 00:50:25,862
Yes, I'm pissed off.

793
00:50:26,905 --> 00:50:29,533
Because, you're gorgeous.

794
00:50:30,992 --> 00:50:33,786
Your mouth is amazing.
Your neck?

795
00:50:33,912 --> 00:50:36,206
My God, your ass looks
great in those jeans.

796
00:50:36,289 --> 00:50:38,584
No offense,
I'm sorry, I just...

797
00:50:38,667 --> 00:50:40,711
And I feel shitty for
even looking at you.

798
00:50:40,793 --> 00:50:43,589
Because I have a fiancee.

799
00:50:45,840 --> 00:50:47,426
And you know what
else I can't do?

800
00:50:48,677 --> 00:50:49,760
Look at her.

801
00:50:51,471 --> 00:50:53,348
Because she's in
fucking prison.

802
00:50:54,057 --> 00:50:58,729
Yeah, yeah, because she did
something stupid and crazy and...

803
00:51:00,439 --> 00:51:05,444
...indicative of an ominously
shaky moral compass.

804
00:51:05,569 --> 00:51:08,988
And as a result I am stuck
here, alone, at this bar.

805
00:51:09,114 --> 00:51:11,950
Talking to you and enjoying it
and feeling like an asshole.

806
00:51:15,287 --> 00:51:17,122
Polly was right.
Fuck her.

807
00:51:26,881 --> 00:51:28,717
I'm gonna be in
the New York Times.

808
00:51:40,103 --> 00:51:43,022
Track is back open.
F-your-I.

809
00:51:43,148 --> 00:51:44,483
Pardon me?

810
00:51:45,484 --> 00:51:49,154
I'm reassigning Fischer, eight
hours a week. Her request.

811
00:51:49,613 --> 00:51:52,115
Apparently,
there's some film thing

812
00:51:52,240 --> 00:51:54,785
going around,
23 hours or whatever,

813
00:51:54,867 --> 00:51:59,331
says how exercise saves us
bucks in the long term.

814
00:51:59,830 --> 00:52:03,084
Which appeals to you, 'cause you're
chief bean-counter now, right?

815
00:52:04,085 --> 00:52:05,086
Uhh...

816
00:52:05,211 --> 00:52:07,756
Fig is gonna eat that shit up.

817
00:52:08,173 --> 00:52:10,014
You come up with this
in a vision or something?

818
00:52:10,801 --> 00:52:14,262
It was all Fischer.
Trust the woman, right?

819
00:52:15,846 --> 00:52:18,517
Doesn't threaten
me to admit it,

820
00:52:18,684 --> 00:52:21,353
that is one smart piece of ass.

821
00:52:28,694 --> 00:52:32,030
No, no, no, no, no!
Mi Diablo! No!

822
00:52:43,709 --> 00:52:45,210
Holy shit.

823
00:52:51,299 --> 00:52:52,718
Jesus Christ, Flores.

824
00:52:59,391 --> 00:53:02,935
That was the only place in this
prison I could take a shit. Fuck!

825
00:53:04,187 --> 00:53:05,522
Fucking dios.

826
00:53:20,161 --> 00:53:22,913
You make them wait,
it ain't gonna help.

827
00:53:36,177 --> 00:53:38,179
Have a seat, Miss Jefferson.

828
00:53:55,029 --> 00:53:58,116
Yo. Yo, you see
that nigga face?

829
00:53:58,283 --> 00:53:59,950
Yo, Islam motherfucker
got so much beard,

830
00:54:00,076 --> 00:54:01,836
he ain't seen his own face
since high school.

831
00:54:01,912 --> 00:54:03,538
Ain't no Islam, he a Sikh.
You racist.

832
00:54:05,582 --> 00:54:06,782
Hit the corner, hit the corner.

833
00:54:06,792 --> 00:54:08,032
We gonna lose
'em at the corner.

834
00:54:11,129 --> 00:54:12,798
Wait up, yo!
Come on!

835
00:54:12,881 --> 00:54:15,508
I said, wait up.
Don't be showin' off.

836
00:54:17,385 --> 00:54:19,345
Put your hands
where I can see them!

837
00:54:20,054 --> 00:54:24,309
Get down on the ground.
Get down on the ground!

838
00:54:24,643 --> 00:54:25,976
Okay, okay.

839
00:54:58,911 --> 00:55:01,179
This don't make us even.

840
00:55:03,682 --> 00:55:04,808
Okay.

841
00:55:30,500 --> 00:55:41,420
<font color=#ec14bd>Sync & corrections by honeybunny</font>
<font color=#ec14bd>www.addic7ed.com</font>

