﻿1
00:01:05,762 --> 00:01:16,267
<font color="#ec14bd">Sync & corrections by honeybunny</font>
<font color="#ec14bd">www.addic7ed.com</font>

2
00:01:24,992 --> 00:01:26,077
The President doesn't care

3
00:01:26,202 --> 00:01:27,329
about the Hispanic plight.

4
00:01:27,454 --> 00:01:30,165
He doesn't care
about poor Mexicans...

5
00:01:51,186 --> 00:01:54,022
Well, you didn't miss much, if
it makes you feel any better.

6
00:01:54,147 --> 00:01:55,455
Except movie night.

7
00:01:55,575 --> 00:01:58,026
We got Joe Versus the Volcano.
That was pretty good.

8
00:01:58,151 --> 00:02:00,195
And we got meatloaf twice.

9
00:02:00,529 --> 00:02:02,865
Personally,
I think it should be baked,

10
00:02:03,031 --> 00:02:05,367
and here they steam it
so it gets all pasty.

11
00:02:05,450 --> 00:02:07,619
Do not tell Red I said that.

12
00:02:07,703 --> 00:02:11,039
I mean, she knows, but she got
feelings just like everybody else.

13
00:02:11,707 --> 00:02:13,709
You know those good mashed
potatoes that Red makes,

14
00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:15,126
from the real
potatoes and not the box?

15
00:02:15,210 --> 00:02:16,211
Yeah.

16
00:02:16,336 --> 00:02:19,464
Maybe you could ask about getting
some of that served up tonight.

17
00:02:19,756 --> 00:02:20,799
You her girl.

18
00:02:21,341 --> 00:02:23,552
Well, she works up the menus
a week in advance, so...

19
00:02:24,553 --> 00:02:27,096
Think about what
I've been through.

20
00:02:29,892 --> 00:02:31,560
Can't promise anything.

21
00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:49,745
Twenty-six, 27, 28, 29, 30! Ha-ha!
Who's the big talker now?

22
00:02:49,870 --> 00:02:51,038
You were
counting too fast!

23
00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:53,164
Bullshit, Vause.
I told you, it can't be done.

24
00:02:53,248 --> 00:02:54,958
Six saltines in 30 seconds?

25
00:02:57,711 --> 00:03:02,925
You are a disgusting animal.
Okay? What the fuck?

26
00:03:03,050 --> 00:03:06,219
I mean, which is a quality
I greatly admire in a person.

27
00:03:06,302 --> 00:03:07,846
You're in touch
with your primal self.

28
00:03:09,222 --> 00:03:13,435
Yeah, well, my primal self cannot
resist a dare, apparently.

29
00:03:14,101 --> 00:03:17,814
Which is also how I ended up
with three broken toes

30
00:03:17,940 --> 00:03:19,733
and, briefly, chlamydia.

31
00:03:20,650 --> 00:03:21,777
And in prison.

32
00:03:21,902 --> 00:03:24,320
Well, that wasn't so much
a dare, as it was a deal.

33
00:03:26,823 --> 00:03:29,618
Officer Webster,
pick up extension 414.

34
00:03:36,792 --> 00:03:39,628
Hey, get over here.
You're missing a moment.

35
00:03:39,753 --> 00:03:41,964
Visitation will be
ending in five minutes.

36
00:03:44,215 --> 00:03:45,926
God, SHU must really suck ass.

37
00:03:46,009 --> 00:03:47,176
Man, she was in
there for two weeks.

38
00:03:47,302 --> 00:03:48,261
I've taken shits
longer than that.

39
00:03:52,599 --> 00:03:55,518
Hey, Kate Winslet.
See any icebergs?

40
00:03:58,730 --> 00:04:00,107
They're back again, Janae.

41
00:04:04,235 --> 00:04:06,195
Cut that out!

42
00:04:08,740 --> 00:04:09,866
Boys chase girls!

43
00:04:09,992 --> 00:04:11,451
Whatcha gonna do
if you catch us?

44
00:04:11,618 --> 00:04:13,286
Only one way to find out.

45
00:04:13,536 --> 00:04:14,955
Go back to your mama.

46
00:04:15,163 --> 00:04:16,915
Ooh...

47
00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:35,642
Janae! Quit showing off!

48
00:04:59,916 --> 00:05:03,045
Good morning. Welcome.

49
00:05:03,170 --> 00:05:04,963
- Hey!
- Ladies of the WAC.

50
00:05:05,047 --> 00:05:07,507
Are you taking us
to prom or something?

51
00:05:07,590 --> 00:05:08,711
Just close the door, please.

52
00:05:12,387 --> 00:05:13,722
Thank you.

53
00:05:15,682 --> 00:05:16,683
All right.

54
00:05:18,060 --> 00:05:21,730
Now, a small token
of my esteem.

55
00:05:22,313 --> 00:05:25,400
Dang, Healy.
That's proper!

56
00:05:26,068 --> 00:05:27,986
Oh!

57
00:05:28,486 --> 00:05:29,905
Now you talk
about this outside,

58
00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:31,447
you never see bear claws again.

59
00:05:31,573 --> 00:05:34,117
Silencio, Mr. Healy. We're
gonna be like Red's lady.

60
00:05:34,242 --> 00:05:35,368
What's her name?
The one that don't talk?

61
00:05:35,451 --> 00:05:36,703
Norma.

62
00:05:36,828 --> 00:05:38,080
We gonna be like four Normas.

63
00:05:39,206 --> 00:05:41,124
All right, now,
business,

64
00:05:41,248 --> 00:05:45,921
i.e. if you will, the concerns
of your fellow inmates.

65
00:05:46,253 --> 00:05:51,467
Mr. Healy, the pillow that we get
for sleeping is thin like paper.

66
00:05:51,593 --> 00:05:55,346
Sometimes, yo necessito two pillows.
For ergonomics.

67
00:05:55,430 --> 00:05:57,099
A second pillow?
Write it down.

68
00:05:57,432 --> 00:06:02,104
Okay, first of all, the hot sauce
in the commissary is bullshit.

69
00:06:02,187 --> 00:06:04,940
We want that Thailand sauce, the
one with the rooster on it.

70
00:06:05,607 --> 00:06:06,566
Rooster sauce.

71
00:06:06,649 --> 00:06:08,777
And second of all,
ain't no reason we can't

72
00:06:08,944 --> 00:06:11,071
get Fifty Shades of
Grey in the library!

73
00:06:11,196 --> 00:06:13,031
We talked about this,
Jefferson.

74
00:06:13,156 --> 00:06:14,991
Fed's not gonna
subsidize erotica.

75
00:06:15,951 --> 00:06:17,577
I've got a copy.

76
00:06:17,827 --> 00:06:19,204
I've got one, too.

77
00:06:20,872 --> 00:06:22,624
Fifty Shade.

78
00:06:23,625 --> 00:06:27,294
I withdraw my request. But Maria's
straight up about the pillows.

79
00:06:27,754 --> 00:06:29,296
Pillows again. Chapman.

80
00:06:31,507 --> 00:06:33,135
You're done?

81
00:06:33,218 --> 00:06:34,719
Far as I know.

82
00:06:35,553 --> 00:06:36,596
Okay.

83
00:06:38,265 --> 00:06:41,017
The thing is, I think
that a few basic changes

84
00:06:41,143 --> 00:06:43,937
could drastically
improve the quality of life.

85
00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:49,151
Like clinic hours every week
for preventative health care.

86
00:06:49,442 --> 00:06:50,777
And re-opening the track.

87
00:06:51,736 --> 00:06:53,822
And maybe legal counseling.

88
00:06:55,490 --> 00:06:56,532
And the GED program.

89
00:06:57,408 --> 00:07:01,370
Now, I understand that there's a
mold situation in the classroom,

90
00:07:01,496 --> 00:07:02,998
but this needs to be addressed.

91
00:07:03,165 --> 00:07:05,292
The inmates down the hill,
they get classes,

92
00:07:05,416 --> 00:07:07,543
and they are not
getting out any time soon.

93
00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:09,838
We are here for shorter stays.

94
00:07:10,172 --> 00:07:13,049
We should be learning
to improve ourselves,

95
00:07:13,175 --> 00:07:14,676
as students

96
00:07:14,843 --> 00:07:18,013
or even teachers.

97
00:07:19,014 --> 00:07:21,933
Something's telling me
she has a teacher in mind.

98
00:07:24,102 --> 00:07:25,103
Chang, you're up.

99
00:07:25,187 --> 00:07:27,189
Okay, Mr. Healy. Okay.

100
00:07:33,695 --> 00:07:35,238
Lay it on me, Chang.

101
00:07:35,363 --> 00:07:36,614
Okay.

102
00:07:41,703 --> 00:07:42,871
Good.

103
00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:44,837
We got a good list going here,
some good ideas.

104
00:07:44,873 --> 00:07:46,124
Now, the problem as I see it...

105
00:07:46,249 --> 00:07:47,500
No, sir, I really think that...

106
00:07:47,583 --> 00:07:50,212
...is that we have
a budget situation.

107
00:07:50,337 --> 00:07:52,714
Now, I can do my best,

108
00:07:53,548 --> 00:07:56,551
but it's gonna be hard for me
to do all these things

109
00:07:56,676 --> 00:07:59,512
and still be able to bring donuts
to our meetings every month.

110
00:08:04,392 --> 00:08:05,476
And coffee.

111
00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:08,897
Well, we tried.

112
00:08:14,152 --> 00:08:15,403
What just happened?

113
00:08:15,486 --> 00:08:16,821
You were there.

114
00:08:17,405 --> 00:08:18,990
We finally get an opportunity

115
00:08:19,115 --> 00:08:20,658
to make some improvements
around here and...

116
00:08:20,742 --> 00:08:22,493
Don't be gettin' all Amistad
on me, Chapman.

117
00:08:22,577 --> 00:08:24,746
Healy look like he
gunning for change?

118
00:08:24,829 --> 00:08:27,082
Okay, but what about your
campaign promises?

119
00:08:27,165 --> 00:08:28,445
Everyone say
shit to get elected.

120
00:08:28,541 --> 00:08:29,751
You ain't actually gotta do it.

121
00:08:29,876 --> 00:08:31,502
That's politics.

122
00:08:31,836 --> 00:08:33,963
I got a disciplinary
board hearing this week,

123
00:08:34,089 --> 00:08:37,384
which, if they don't take away
my good time, I go home.

124
00:08:37,884 --> 00:08:40,303
Healy said he would write
a letter vouching for me.

125
00:08:40,929 --> 00:08:42,597
I ain't looking to make waves.

126
00:08:42,680 --> 00:08:45,641
Glassy water. Smooth sailin'
right on out of here.

127
00:08:46,642 --> 00:08:51,147
So this whole WAC
thing is basically bullshit.

128
00:08:52,648 --> 00:08:54,276
Just take the donuts, girl.

129
00:08:59,114 --> 00:09:00,531
Can you believe her?

130
00:09:00,615 --> 00:09:03,492
That college bitch thinks
she can come up in here

131
00:09:03,618 --> 00:09:05,787
and take charge of
shit with her nice teeth

132
00:09:05,870 --> 00:09:08,039
and her pinky
stuck up in the air.

133
00:09:08,123 --> 00:09:09,624
She's got a surprise coming.

134
00:09:10,166 --> 00:09:11,459
Is it a pony?

135
00:09:12,252 --> 00:09:14,045
Just shut your trap, Lurch.

136
00:09:14,129 --> 00:09:16,505
Nobody cares what's comin'
outta them slit lickin' lips.

137
00:09:20,635 --> 00:09:22,220
Did you vote for her?
No.

138
00:09:22,345 --> 00:09:23,972
Did you vote for her?

139
00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:26,515
Who voted for that bitch,
raise your hand! Raise it.

140
00:09:27,850 --> 00:09:28,851
That's what I thought.

141
00:09:28,977 --> 00:09:32,981
Some Garden-of-Gethsemane
shit up in here, y'all.

142
00:09:33,148 --> 00:09:38,778
Chapman is a Judas Iscariot, cozied
on up to the High Priest Healy.

143
00:09:38,861 --> 00:09:40,322
And he throws out my vote.

144
00:09:40,405 --> 00:09:43,074
My votes that
were bestowed upon me

145
00:09:43,199 --> 00:09:45,868
from my Lord,
and gives her all the silver?

146
00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:50,999
So in this analogy,
you're Jesus Christ?

147
00:09:51,582 --> 00:09:53,335
I've been betrayed.

148
00:10:34,042 --> 00:10:36,336
Oh, gosh! Oh, no, no.

149
00:10:36,878 --> 00:10:38,713
Uh...

150
00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:45,220
Gonna be a while. I'm a little
backed up in here. Sorry.

151
00:10:59,984 --> 00:11:02,320
We were starting to
think you deserted us.

152
00:11:04,822 --> 00:11:09,785
I tried making that coconut cake myself.
Nicky called it "coco-not."

153
00:11:10,995 --> 00:11:13,248
What pain did you bring down
on her for that?

154
00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:17,626
She was right.
Your cake is inimitable.

155
00:11:19,879 --> 00:11:23,508
Norma got me an improve-your-vocabulary
book out of the library.

156
00:11:23,590 --> 00:11:26,761
You got to keep the brain
cells working, or they die.

157
00:11:27,262 --> 00:11:30,098
To be honest, there's a few things
I wouldn't mind forgetting.

158
00:11:31,099 --> 00:11:32,599
Norma saw you in the library,

159
00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:37,105
bent over a law book like a
boy hiding a titty magazine.

160
00:11:37,646 --> 00:11:39,857
I got interests
beyond coconut cake.

161
00:11:40,149 --> 00:11:42,444
So does every idiot in here.

162
00:11:43,361 --> 00:11:44,779
Where's my Mexican vanilla?

163
00:11:45,612 --> 00:11:46,613
Oh.

164
00:11:52,912 --> 00:11:56,916
Everything off the books
lives like Anne Frank now.

165
00:12:11,180 --> 00:12:12,639
Seems like a lot of trouble.

166
00:12:13,558 --> 00:12:17,145
You get too comfortable,
people take advantage.

167
00:12:19,481 --> 00:12:20,815
You got it under control?

168
00:12:22,191 --> 00:12:24,819
Don't go looking for miracles,
Claudette.

169
00:12:25,487 --> 00:12:28,323
You and me, we figured out
how to do time.

170
00:12:32,034 --> 00:12:35,955
Well, at least it's
better than SHU, right?

171
00:12:37,457 --> 00:12:40,709
I mean, the isolation
must just be terrible.

172
00:12:41,419 --> 00:12:42,504
Or not.

173
00:12:42,587 --> 00:12:44,213
I've never been to SHU.

174
00:12:44,922 --> 00:12:46,966
I've read that it can be
very loud down there,

175
00:12:47,049 --> 00:12:49,344
with people yelling
at each other all the time?

176
00:12:51,804 --> 00:12:53,473
When I said that
I'd never been to SHU,

177
00:12:53,598 --> 00:12:55,308
did that make me
sound like an asshole?

178
00:12:55,433 --> 00:12:56,643
Because obviously I didn't...

179
00:12:56,725 --> 00:12:58,353
Fuck, Chapman.

180
00:13:02,898 --> 00:13:03,899
Ah!

181
00:13:04,275 --> 00:13:07,362
Here's why
the floodlights went out.

182
00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:10,406
It looks like
a rat got to this.

183
00:13:10,532 --> 00:13:12,783
Ew! I fucking hate rats.

184
00:13:13,326 --> 00:13:16,204
My brother had one
while we were growing up.

185
00:13:16,329 --> 00:13:18,206
It was kind of cute, actually.

186
00:13:18,289 --> 00:13:20,041
He named it Antonio.

187
00:13:21,543 --> 00:13:23,878
I saw one chewed
up a baby's face.

188
00:13:24,003 --> 00:13:26,297
I named it "fuckin'
face-chewing rat."

189
00:13:27,006 --> 00:13:28,299
You gonna fix the wire or what?

190
00:13:28,424 --> 00:13:29,758
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

191
00:13:33,471 --> 00:13:34,472
Ah! Shit!

192
00:13:34,556 --> 00:13:35,931
Did you turn off the switch?

193
00:13:36,057 --> 00:13:37,392
I thought that you
turned off the switch.

194
00:13:37,517 --> 00:13:38,893
Oh, man!

195
00:13:38,976 --> 00:13:40,895
It's okay. It's my fault.

196
00:13:43,189 --> 00:13:45,900
So you're back
in the rooms, huh?

197
00:13:47,151 --> 00:13:49,111
I hope they didn't
stick you with De Marco.

198
00:13:49,237 --> 00:13:51,072
I mean, she's super
nice and everything,

199
00:13:51,197 --> 00:13:55,910
but, man, that breathing machine
can just drive you bonkers.

200
00:13:57,579 --> 00:14:01,082
You know, if you want,
I can make you some ear plugs.

201
00:14:01,165 --> 00:14:03,626
I take a little bit of
stuffing out of a pillow,

202
00:14:03,750 --> 00:14:06,254
and I just smush it
up in some Vaseline,

203
00:14:06,546 --> 00:14:10,091
and then I wrap it up in some
plastic wrap from the sack lunches.

204
00:14:10,174 --> 00:14:13,720
The rooms is full, all right?
I'm in the ghetto tonight.

205
00:14:13,928 --> 00:14:16,180
But you could still
use them in there.

206
00:14:16,264 --> 00:14:18,266
I'll make you some, okay?

207
00:14:20,602 --> 00:14:24,146
Jesus fucking shit.

208
00:14:24,897 --> 00:14:26,232
Sorry?

209
00:14:27,233 --> 00:14:28,359
What?

210
00:14:31,779 --> 00:14:32,863
It was you.

211
00:14:33,615 --> 00:14:34,616
What?

212
00:14:34,741 --> 00:14:36,618
The screwdriver what.

213
00:14:36,743 --> 00:14:39,120
Acting all sweet
like a piece of candy.

214
00:14:40,037 --> 00:14:42,624
Nobody's sweet in
here except for a reason.

215
00:14:44,125 --> 00:14:45,834
I don't know what
you're talking about.

216
00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:48,796
Do not fucking
lie to me, bitch.

217
00:14:49,672 --> 00:14:53,092
Do not fucking insult me
after what you done already.

218
00:15:01,517 --> 00:15:02,602
In my defense,

219
00:15:03,561 --> 00:15:05,146
I would just like
to point out that technically,

220
00:15:05,271 --> 00:15:07,112
you did not go down
because of the screwdriver.

221
00:15:07,148 --> 00:15:08,428
Technically,
you went down to SHU

222
00:15:08,483 --> 00:15:10,067
because you got all
up in Caputo's face.

223
00:15:10,151 --> 00:15:13,655
Lady, we in a tight-ass space
and I bench 140.

224
00:15:13,738 --> 00:15:16,616
You sure "technically" is how
you wanna handle this shit?

225
00:15:19,661 --> 00:15:20,911
Are you gonna say anything?

226
00:15:23,247 --> 00:15:24,540
I ain't a snitch.

227
00:15:30,879 --> 00:15:31,880
Damn!

228
00:15:34,676 --> 00:15:37,386
See? This one got
the same number on both ends.

229
00:15:37,512 --> 00:15:39,347
The first time you play that,
it's called a spinner.

230
00:15:39,430 --> 00:15:42,684
You have to play the ends
and the sides, both.

231
00:15:43,309 --> 00:15:45,894
Like a no-class girl
lets you use any hole.

232
00:15:47,647 --> 00:15:48,690
Yeah.

233
00:15:57,156 --> 00:16:00,702
These are all the places I'm
gonna travel when I get out.

234
00:16:00,785 --> 00:16:03,996
Starting with Anguilla.

235
00:16:04,079 --> 00:16:06,874
I read that Orlando Bloom
honeymooned there.

236
00:16:06,999 --> 00:16:08,439
And Courteney Cox
and David Arquette,

237
00:16:08,543 --> 00:16:09,960
even though that
didn't work out.

238
00:16:10,336 --> 00:16:13,964
I love the beach,
but I burn like a lobster,

239
00:16:14,048 --> 00:16:15,717
so I'm gonna get
a good swim shirt

240
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:19,136
and, bonus, it's gonna hide
the gallbladder scar.

241
00:16:28,270 --> 00:16:29,731
Oh, yeah. Sure.

242
00:16:29,856 --> 00:16:32,734
Come on. Okay, bitches,

243
00:16:32,859 --> 00:16:35,653
who's first in line
for some puppy lovin'?

244
00:16:36,070 --> 00:16:37,572
Puppy lovin'!

245
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:41,992
He's so cute.

246
00:16:42,076 --> 00:16:44,203
He looks just like my dog
from when I was a kid.

247
00:16:44,286 --> 00:16:45,747
Except mine was
more of a Dachshund,

248
00:16:45,913 --> 00:16:47,415
but the nostril
part is the same.

249
00:16:47,665 --> 00:16:49,208
You look just like Chummy.

250
00:16:49,584 --> 00:16:51,252
Make him do a trick.

251
00:16:51,377 --> 00:16:53,170
She doesn't know any yet.

252
00:16:53,295 --> 00:16:54,881
Well, maybe you can
take some time off

253
00:16:55,005 --> 00:16:56,549
from sitting
around eating all day,

254
00:16:56,632 --> 00:16:58,509
and teach him something.

255
00:17:00,678 --> 00:17:02,179
Fucking asshole.

256
00:17:02,263 --> 00:17:05,099
Chapman wrote me three letters
for my case and it did fuck-all.

257
00:17:05,224 --> 00:17:07,435
They ain't lettin' people out who
hasn't done their whole time.

258
00:17:07,602 --> 00:17:10,772
Well, I ain't people.
I'm training for this, bitch.

259
00:17:10,938 --> 00:17:14,316
And I ain't never comin' back,
neither, not like the rest of y'all.

260
00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:18,112
Like Oprah say,
"the road less traveled."

261
00:17:18,237 --> 00:17:20,114
You know, that doesn't mean
what everybody thinks it means.

262
00:17:20,364 --> 00:17:22,950
Aw, shit, we about to
get educated and shit.

263
00:17:23,075 --> 00:17:25,620
No, no, no. I'm just saying that
everyone thinks the poem means

264
00:17:25,703 --> 00:17:27,622
to break away from the crowd
and, like, do your own thing.

265
00:17:27,747 --> 00:17:29,624
But if you read it,
Frost is very clear

266
00:17:29,791 --> 00:17:31,667
that the two roads
are exactly the same.

267
00:17:31,793 --> 00:17:33,419
He just chooses one at random.

268
00:17:33,502 --> 00:17:36,004
And then it's only later at a dinner
party, when he's talking about it

269
00:17:36,130 --> 00:17:37,256
that he tells
everybody he chose

270
00:17:37,339 --> 00:17:38,979
the road less
traveled by, but he's lying.

271
00:17:43,387 --> 00:17:45,097
So the point of the poem is,

272
00:17:45,180 --> 00:17:46,474
that everyone
wants to look back

273
00:17:46,599 --> 00:17:47,809
and think that
their choices mattered,

274
00:17:47,934 --> 00:17:51,562
but in reality, shit just happens
the way that it happens,

275
00:17:51,646 --> 00:17:53,898
and it does not mean anything.

276
00:17:55,399 --> 00:17:58,152
I will probably kill
her in her sleep tonight.

277
00:17:58,277 --> 00:18:00,154
Wake me up so I can watch.

278
00:18:01,489 --> 00:18:02,865
I'm gonna...

279
00:18:04,492 --> 00:18:05,993
Laundry.

280
00:18:06,076 --> 00:18:08,746
You ever notice how some dog
breeds, they sound kind of dirty?

281
00:18:09,246 --> 00:18:13,793
Like, shih tzu,
cocker, Jack-something.

282
00:18:15,169 --> 00:18:16,211
Poodle.

283
00:18:16,504 --> 00:18:19,632
That is good.

284
00:18:20,508 --> 00:18:23,511
I didn't think of that one.
That is very clever.

285
00:18:24,261 --> 00:18:26,848
Hey, you know what, guys?
Look at that face.

286
00:18:26,931 --> 00:18:28,808
I'm gonna call her Little Boo.
Aw!

287
00:18:28,891 --> 00:18:32,060
Little Boo.
Who's a little boo? Yes!

288
00:18:33,020 --> 00:18:34,104
Hello?

289
00:18:34,229 --> 00:18:35,356
It's closed.

290
00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:38,693
Alex?

291
00:18:42,279 --> 00:18:44,532
I was just gonna
drop this off, but...

292
00:18:45,867 --> 00:18:47,075
Tomorrow.

293
00:18:47,201 --> 00:18:48,202
Just give it.

294
00:18:50,705 --> 00:18:51,706
Give it to me.

295
00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:55,710
Attention all personnel,

296
00:18:55,793 --> 00:18:58,546
be advised count is off. Can
we please conduct a recount?

297
00:19:06,721 --> 00:19:09,306
Do you remember the Four
Seasons in the Seychelles?

298
00:19:14,562 --> 00:19:16,856
Gosh, we just threw
our laundry into the hallway,

299
00:19:16,939 --> 00:19:18,816
it was like 40 bucks
for a pair of pants.

300
00:19:29,493 --> 00:19:30,536
Hey.

301
00:19:33,664 --> 00:19:35,666
I've been thinking about it...

302
00:19:37,334 --> 00:19:38,335
...a lot.

303
00:19:41,171 --> 00:19:43,298
And I just
wanted to let you know

304
00:19:43,424 --> 00:19:45,593
that there are
no hard feelings.

305
00:19:45,801 --> 00:19:50,431
I was pretty angry,
but, I'm over it.

306
00:19:52,558 --> 00:19:54,435
So, um...

307
00:19:56,437 --> 00:19:57,730
Friend?

308
00:19:59,774 --> 00:20:00,775
Wow.

309
00:20:02,944 --> 00:20:04,612
That's really
big of you, Pipes.

310
00:20:12,202 --> 00:20:13,203
It's not a club.

311
00:20:13,287 --> 00:20:14,413
It's a class.

312
00:20:14,538 --> 00:20:16,498
They teach you to
dance on a pole.

313
00:20:17,291 --> 00:20:22,296
If you want to be a stripper,
you can wait until I die.

314
00:20:22,504 --> 00:20:27,885
It's not stripping. It's for nice
ladies, housewives. For exercise.

315
00:20:28,302 --> 00:20:32,014
That's what they tell you!

316
00:20:32,473 --> 00:20:35,017
Then one day you
wake up in Atlantic City...

317
00:20:35,476 --> 00:20:37,311
where girls are trash...

318
00:20:37,394 --> 00:20:40,106
and I'm lighting candles
under your picture.

319
00:20:40,856 --> 00:20:45,486
Can we please speak
English at the table?

320
00:20:48,906 --> 00:20:50,574
Just at the table?

321
00:20:57,873 --> 00:21:00,334
Two more years
for a green card.

322
00:21:01,502 --> 00:21:02,753
Be nice.

323
00:21:03,045 --> 00:21:04,964
You don't have to fuck him.

324
00:21:06,214 --> 00:21:09,718
I should be lucky, a decent
man wants to fuck me.

325
00:21:12,138 --> 00:21:13,139
Oy.

326
00:21:13,347 --> 00:21:14,348
English.

327
00:21:18,686 --> 00:21:19,854
He's not eating.

328
00:21:21,313 --> 00:21:22,564
English.

329
00:21:26,527 --> 00:21:29,155
You look very
pretty in that dress.

330
00:21:29,864 --> 00:21:33,241
Thank you, Sam. It is very...

331
00:21:35,202 --> 00:21:36,203
...blue.

332
00:21:43,210 --> 00:21:45,051
You guys ever notice how,
once you're a couple,

333
00:21:45,087 --> 00:21:47,007
you pretty much only hang out
with other couples?

334
00:21:47,882 --> 00:21:52,136
A guy, a girl and another guy?
It just looks weird.

335
00:21:52,260 --> 00:21:54,138
People probably just assume
you're divorced.

336
00:21:54,889 --> 00:21:57,725
Oh. Great, so,
I look divorced,

337
00:21:57,850 --> 00:22:02,270
which conveys sadness and
ex-wife shit and lawyers' fees,

338
00:22:02,396 --> 00:22:04,523
or I look single,
34 and single,

339
00:22:04,648 --> 00:22:06,775
which must mean there's
something wrong with me.

340
00:22:06,901 --> 00:22:09,778
Like, you keep
large reptiles in tanks.

341
00:22:09,904 --> 00:22:11,989
Or I have a very special
relationship with my mother.

342
00:22:13,074 --> 00:22:15,201
I just look like a loser.

343
00:22:15,409 --> 00:22:16,849
Why don't you
switch seats with Pete?

344
00:22:16,952 --> 00:22:18,472
You're okay being a loser,
right, babe?

345
00:22:18,787 --> 00:22:20,122
I don't wanna
look like a loser.

346
00:22:20,247 --> 00:22:24,043
Okay, now look, what am I
complaining about, right?

347
00:22:24,126 --> 00:22:25,419
I mean, seriously, you know?

348
00:22:25,544 --> 00:22:28,505
We're sitting here, we're gonna
enjoy some small plates,

349
00:22:28,589 --> 00:22:30,298
while Piper sits in prison.

350
00:22:30,424 --> 00:22:32,342
You know what? Fuck Piper.

351
00:22:33,594 --> 00:22:35,303
She's in prison and it sucks.

352
00:22:35,429 --> 00:22:37,056
Let's also
stipulate there are children

353
00:22:37,181 --> 00:22:38,807
are dying of
diarrhea in Malawi.

354
00:22:38,933 --> 00:22:41,214
That doesn't mean we don't get
to complain about our lives.

355
00:22:41,227 --> 00:22:44,312
I am pregnant and the heat in our
apartment is always too high

356
00:22:44,438 --> 00:22:46,857
and it gives me nosebleeds,
and that is happening.

357
00:22:46,941 --> 00:22:50,111
Pete isn't getting laid and
he's grown that horrible beard.

358
00:22:50,236 --> 00:22:51,445
You look like a loser.

359
00:22:52,196 --> 00:22:53,906
We're all
allowed to feel shitty

360
00:22:54,031 --> 00:22:55,741
about things in our
lives that are shitty.

361
00:22:55,866 --> 00:22:58,660
And happy about
things that are awesome.

362
00:22:58,786 --> 00:23:00,454
Like this awesome beard!
Ugh.

363
00:23:00,537 --> 00:23:01,663
And your column.

364
00:23:01,789 --> 00:23:03,249
What? That's happening?

365
00:23:03,415 --> 00:23:06,501
Who can resist a "Felonious
Fiancee" story, right?

366
00:23:07,795 --> 00:23:09,964
Yeah,
it's, it's totally happening.

367
00:23:10,089 --> 00:23:12,258
New York Times, baby.
"Modern Love."

368
00:23:12,424 --> 00:23:14,300
That's huge!
Yeah.

369
00:23:14,468 --> 00:23:16,804
Does Piper know?
Is she cool about it?

370
00:23:17,303 --> 00:23:19,640
I mean, sort of.

371
00:23:19,765 --> 00:23:24,228
Yeah, I mean, she's
sorting out her feelings,

372
00:23:24,436 --> 00:23:26,147
I guess, you know.

373
00:23:26,272 --> 00:23:30,609
I'm going to tell her tomorrow, you know.
Now that it's for sure.

374
00:23:37,783 --> 00:23:38,784
Oh, man!

375
00:23:47,417 --> 00:23:49,335
What's up with that, girl?

376
00:23:55,425 --> 00:23:57,343
Would you shut the fuck up.

377
00:23:57,886 --> 00:24:00,306
I know you ain't fucking
with my beauty rest, yo.

378
00:24:00,430 --> 00:24:02,141
It's fucking Watson, man.

379
00:24:02,766 --> 00:24:05,393
They closed
the track on me, haters.

380
00:24:05,519 --> 00:24:07,855
I ain't gonna get soft
like the rest of y'all.

381
00:24:07,980 --> 00:24:09,260
Look, none of that's
gonna matter

382
00:24:09,355 --> 00:24:11,483
when they throw your
ass in SHU, part two.

383
00:24:11,566 --> 00:24:13,819
I got 10 minutes before
the CO come back around.

384
00:24:13,902 --> 00:24:16,280
Man, somebody get this bitch
a hamster wheel.

385
00:24:17,781 --> 00:24:19,658
What you gonna do
about it, Jemima?

386
00:24:20,242 --> 00:24:21,493
The hell you just call me?

387
00:24:22,744 --> 00:24:25,247
I said, what you gonna do?

388
00:24:26,999 --> 00:24:28,583
Lightning fast!

389
00:24:29,459 --> 00:24:30,939
Did you see
the Fillmore coach's face?

390
00:24:31,712 --> 00:24:34,798
He had no idea what happened to him.
You happened to him.

391
00:24:34,882 --> 00:24:36,258
I just ran, Coach.

392
00:24:36,424 --> 00:24:37,785
Well,
Watson, you just ran yourself

393
00:24:37,801 --> 00:24:39,081
into the high
school record book.

394
00:24:39,636 --> 00:24:41,013
That gonna help
with scholarships?

395
00:24:41,138 --> 00:24:42,739
Girl, colleges will
be fighting over you.

396
00:24:44,558 --> 00:24:45,976
Now, you get dressed.
Okay.

397
00:24:46,060 --> 00:24:49,104
I'll introduce you around, all right?
They're all waiting.

398
00:25:10,042 --> 00:25:11,085
You ran good.

399
00:25:12,044 --> 00:25:13,045
I know it.

400
00:25:20,261 --> 00:25:25,391
The universe did you wrong. Then
they took away your track, I get it.

401
00:25:26,267 --> 00:25:28,185
What you talking 'bout,
you get it?

402
00:25:28,269 --> 00:25:30,854
Yo, go on back to the suburbs,
string cheese.

403
00:25:31,479 --> 00:25:34,482
I was like you once.
Pissed off,

404
00:25:35,609 --> 00:25:38,279
thought the world
owed me something.

405
00:25:38,404 --> 00:25:41,782
It took me a long time
to let go of that anger.

406
00:25:41,990 --> 00:25:45,451
Bitch, you lying to yourself with
this whole Namaste bullshit.

407
00:25:45,660 --> 00:25:47,413
You're a step ahead already,

408
00:25:47,495 --> 00:25:50,749
channeling your feelings
through physical activity,

409
00:25:50,832 --> 00:25:54,044
which means,
the mind and body connect.

410
00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:58,799
Who touched you, yo?
Was it your uncle?

411
00:26:01,260 --> 00:26:02,636
Your daddy?

412
00:26:03,262 --> 00:26:07,641
Okay, you want to project your
issues onto me? That's cool.

413
00:26:09,643 --> 00:26:10,978
But I feel bad for you.

414
00:26:12,396 --> 00:26:16,984
That negative energy
is gonna eat you up inside.

415
00:26:18,152 --> 00:26:20,070
Man, you this deep in the shit,

416
00:26:20,195 --> 00:26:22,114
you must have done
something fucking evil.

417
00:26:22,948 --> 00:26:23,949
Huh?

418
00:26:25,867 --> 00:26:27,661
Why you in here, yo?

419
00:26:28,996 --> 00:26:30,456
Did you kill someone?

420
00:26:31,915 --> 00:26:34,001
You fucked a kid?

421
00:26:34,335 --> 00:26:35,336
Oh!

422
00:26:36,837 --> 00:26:38,297
You kill a kid?

423
00:26:47,681 --> 00:26:49,350
That's what I thought.

424
00:26:54,021 --> 00:26:55,022
Huh!

425
00:27:12,373 --> 00:27:14,458
Chapman, come in.

426
00:27:14,540 --> 00:27:17,044
Or vojdite,
as they say in Kiev.

427
00:27:17,252 --> 00:27:18,253
Ahh!

428
00:27:18,712 --> 00:27:20,005
Are you planning a vacation?

429
00:27:20,172 --> 00:27:21,547
If I were,
it would be somewhere

430
00:27:21,673 --> 00:27:23,073
you drink rum out
of a mini volcano.

431
00:27:24,301 --> 00:27:25,802
What can I do for you?

432
00:27:26,594 --> 00:27:27,595
The track.

433
00:27:28,263 --> 00:27:30,223
You know, I once saw this
lecture on YouTube called

434
00:27:30,224 --> 00:27:32,100
"23 and 1/2 Hours."

435
00:27:32,226 --> 00:27:35,103
It's one of those things where
someone draws on a whiteboard?

436
00:27:35,229 --> 00:27:36,562
And it says...

437
00:27:37,105 --> 00:27:39,465
Well, if the Internet says it,
then we better listen up, eh?

438
00:27:41,318 --> 00:27:42,319
Hmm.

439
00:27:44,071 --> 00:27:47,074
How much money does this institution
spend on healthcare per year?

440
00:27:48,658 --> 00:27:52,996
Walking for a half an hour a day
reduces the risk of anxiety,

441
00:27:53,205 --> 00:27:57,084
arthritis, depression, things
like dementia and diabetes.

442
00:27:57,167 --> 00:27:58,210
It helps with everything.

443
00:27:58,293 --> 00:28:01,338
If you could save money
on medical expenses

444
00:28:01,422 --> 00:28:04,674
with something as simple as
walking, why wouldn't you?

445
00:28:05,426 --> 00:28:06,507
I mean, in the long term...

446
00:28:06,592 --> 00:28:10,389
No one here gives a crap
about the long term, Chapman.

447
00:28:11,265 --> 00:28:12,307
Yo, Preparation H.

448
00:28:13,850 --> 00:28:16,061
Oops. Sorry.

449
00:28:16,270 --> 00:28:19,398
I'll come back when you're
done taking orders.

450
00:28:23,569 --> 00:28:25,112
Sitting around all day
is the worst possible thing

451
00:28:25,237 --> 00:28:26,780
that you can do for your body.

452
00:28:26,905 --> 00:28:28,065
We're already doing the time.

453
00:28:28,115 --> 00:28:29,533
I've got a deal
for you, Chapman.

454
00:28:31,493 --> 00:28:36,290
Caputo thinks a CO's been putting
inside photos on the Internet,

455
00:28:36,664 --> 00:28:40,001
but I think that kind of nonsense
is too stupid even for a CO.

456
00:28:40,377 --> 00:28:41,711
I don't know
what you're asking.

457
00:28:43,046 --> 00:28:47,217
Let's say an inmate is hiding a
camera or a cell phone or something.

458
00:28:48,385 --> 00:28:52,764
And you find it for me, I'll take
a look at opening that track.

459
00:28:55,809 --> 00:28:57,685
Prison's a big place,
Mr. Healy.

460
00:28:58,479 --> 00:29:00,481
I have confidence in you.

461
00:29:16,371 --> 00:29:19,583
Prisoner return to custody.
Prisoner return to custody.

462
00:29:20,041 --> 00:29:23,711
What's with the grin, Bennett? You
got some new silk panties on?

463
00:29:26,673 --> 00:29:30,344
Or what,
you get laid or something?

464
00:29:33,555 --> 00:29:35,182
Oh, shit!

465
00:29:35,265 --> 00:29:37,518
Bennett got laid!

466
00:29:38,519 --> 00:29:41,855
Come on, man. Spill the beans,
you fucking pussy monster.

467
00:29:41,938 --> 00:29:43,148
Was she Asian?

468
00:29:43,273 --> 00:29:44,483
No.

469
00:29:45,275 --> 00:29:47,777
I hear their
shit goes sideways.

470
00:29:49,530 --> 00:29:51,365
Well? Go ahead.

471
00:29:53,992 --> 00:29:55,285
Okay, I got laid.

472
00:29:55,369 --> 00:29:59,873
Yes! I knew it! I knew it,
you dirty whore! Come on.

473
00:30:00,707 --> 00:30:03,084
I couldn't be prouder if I was your dad.

474
00:30:04,044 --> 00:30:07,548
Tell me, man.
What about her tits?

475
00:30:07,631 --> 00:30:11,301
Were they like big
floppy fucking milk jugs

476
00:30:11,385 --> 00:30:13,220
or a nice,
tight, little handful?

477
00:30:13,345 --> 00:30:14,513
What was it?

478
00:30:18,058 --> 00:30:19,059
They were fake.

479
00:30:19,226 --> 00:30:20,227
Oh!

480
00:30:20,852 --> 00:30:25,607
She's half-Asian,
half-Brazilian.

481
00:30:28,235 --> 00:30:29,403
She's got this sister.

482
00:30:32,947 --> 00:30:34,575
Jesus fucking Christ.

483
00:30:37,494 --> 00:30:42,165
Miss Jefferson, why do you
deserve to be released?

484
00:30:42,249 --> 00:30:43,584
Thank you, sir.

485
00:30:43,667 --> 00:30:45,252
Let the record show

486
00:30:45,377 --> 00:30:48,255
I only had three infractions
for all my time here.

487
00:30:48,380 --> 00:30:52,593
One was for smacking a bitch for not
respecting my ice machine choices,

488
00:30:52,718 --> 00:30:56,763
and, well, the second...
They was bullshit.

489
00:30:56,846 --> 00:31:00,308
Also, I ain't never missed a
day workin' in the library.

490
00:31:00,517 --> 00:31:04,479
Don't say, "workin'," say, "employed."
The shit sound more elegant.

491
00:31:04,771 --> 00:31:07,315
Also, maybe go easy
on the bitch-smacking?

492
00:31:07,441 --> 00:31:08,692
Like, don't bring that shit up.

493
00:31:09,610 --> 00:31:11,528
All right.
Miss Jefferson,

494
00:31:11,653 --> 00:31:13,614
what have you learned from
your time in prison?

495
00:31:13,739 --> 00:31:15,949
Learned?
I ain't learned nothing.

496
00:31:16,074 --> 00:31:19,369
I came in this motherfucker
innocent, I'm still innocent.

497
00:31:19,453 --> 00:31:20,454
You keep talkin'
about innocent,

498
00:31:20,621 --> 00:31:21,580
you gonna slide on back in here

499
00:31:21,663 --> 00:31:23,331
like you got
a magnet up your ass.

500
00:31:23,457 --> 00:31:24,499
I ain't do nothing.

501
00:31:24,625 --> 00:31:25,917
Look, me, neither, all right?

502
00:31:26,042 --> 00:31:28,683
We are all just in here 'cause we
took a wrong turn goin' to church.

503
00:31:29,463 --> 00:31:33,550
Listen, what you did or didn't do.
That shit is irrelevant now.

504
00:31:33,634 --> 00:31:34,968
You gotta show remorse, fool.

505
00:31:35,051 --> 00:31:37,971
Tell 'em you met Jesus, you go
and seen the error of your ways.

506
00:31:38,096 --> 00:31:40,140
Now you gonna help
the underprivileged youth

507
00:31:40,265 --> 00:31:42,267
learn to play chess or whatnot.

508
00:31:42,350 --> 00:31:44,551
You know, so they don't end up
like your sorry ass self.

509
00:31:44,603 --> 00:31:45,771
Man, I ain't sorry!

510
00:31:45,853 --> 00:31:47,272
Aye, look, look, look.
This bitch!

511
00:31:47,355 --> 00:31:48,482
Tell 'em, tell 'em
you goin' to college.

512
00:31:48,607 --> 00:31:49,857
Man, what if I did?

513
00:31:51,359 --> 00:31:53,487
What you gonna major in?
Ebonics?

514
00:31:53,695 --> 00:31:55,280
I could be a law secretary.

515
00:31:55,363 --> 00:31:58,450
The shit I learned in my job, I'm
like Rain Man with that shit.

516
00:31:58,533 --> 00:32:01,202
You know what, sit your ass down.
It's time to get serious.

517
00:32:04,998 --> 00:32:06,374
What you gonna do about hair?

518
00:32:06,541 --> 00:32:07,542
Oh!

519
00:32:14,090 --> 00:32:16,176
But if you get
some puta pregnant...

520
00:33:23,243 --> 00:33:25,912
Gonna go and
bounce on daddy's lap?

521
00:33:27,247 --> 00:33:28,248
What did I do now?

522
00:33:28,749 --> 00:33:30,375
Don't be all cute, college.

523
00:33:32,252 --> 00:33:34,838
Have you seen my teeth?
Like, really?

524
00:33:35,255 --> 00:33:36,423
Wow. They're...

525
00:33:37,173 --> 00:33:38,258
Pretty fucked up, huh?

526
00:33:38,425 --> 00:33:39,509
Yeah.

527
00:33:39,676 --> 00:33:41,010
Genetics mostly.

528
00:33:41,344 --> 00:33:42,345
Oh.

529
00:33:42,763 --> 00:33:45,390
But my cousin, she's doin'
15 over at Lexington,

530
00:33:45,473 --> 00:33:50,061
and she got a whole new set from
the United States of America,

531
00:33:50,144 --> 00:33:51,938
D-O-C.

532
00:33:52,814 --> 00:33:54,065
Congratulations.

533
00:33:54,691 --> 00:33:56,532
So it's fine that
you're teacher's pet and all,

534
00:33:56,568 --> 00:33:58,278
but let's,
like, see what you can do.

535
00:34:00,781 --> 00:34:01,823
You want new teeth?

536
00:34:04,618 --> 00:34:07,287
Oh! Because of WAC.

537
00:34:07,829 --> 00:34:10,624
The thing is, I don't think I can.
It's not even a real thing.

538
00:34:10,749 --> 00:34:13,000
You think you're some kind
of special, don't you?

539
00:34:13,167 --> 00:34:14,502
No, I'm serious. It's a scam.

540
00:34:14,628 --> 00:34:16,003
Which, when you think about it,

541
00:34:16,129 --> 00:34:18,005
we really all
should've seen coming.

542
00:34:18,131 --> 00:34:20,801
Let me
tell you something, college.

543
00:34:22,009 --> 00:34:24,971
They're gonna treat you nice
and they're gonna use you.

544
00:34:26,306 --> 00:34:28,725
Then when you're all used up,

545
00:34:28,934 --> 00:34:32,395
you ain't gonna be nothin'.

546
00:34:33,146 --> 00:34:34,564
Knock it off, Pennsatucky.

547
00:34:36,942 --> 00:34:40,153
You sellin' us out? For what?

548
00:34:53,207 --> 00:34:56,419
Now, if it was me, I think I'd leave
the grunt work to the grunts.

549
00:34:56,503 --> 00:34:57,504
Hmm.

550
00:34:58,004 --> 00:35:02,008
I let the girls do this, half the
potato comes off with the peel.

551
00:35:03,343 --> 00:35:08,014
Seems to me like you're just
aching to put that down for a few

552
00:35:08,890 --> 00:35:09,975
and make me a sandwich.

553
00:35:10,809 --> 00:35:12,059
Not particularly.

554
00:35:22,236 --> 00:35:23,279
What kind?

555
00:35:24,865 --> 00:35:26,282
Balogna and cheese.

556
00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:30,537
No mustard.

557
00:35:31,872 --> 00:35:33,247
Double the mayo.

558
00:35:34,165 --> 00:35:36,334
Oh...

559
00:35:36,543 --> 00:35:37,942
This is great.

560
00:35:39,504 --> 00:35:45,176
This makes me very happy.

561
00:35:47,220 --> 00:35:48,221
See?

562
00:35:49,931 --> 00:35:52,308
You didn't want to
do it at first, right?

563
00:35:52,392 --> 00:35:56,270
But, now, I'm happy,
and it's no big deal for you.

564
00:35:56,396 --> 00:35:57,689
What do you want?

565
00:35:57,814 --> 00:35:59,106
I wanna be friends.

566
00:36:01,651 --> 00:36:04,195
Friends who take
care of each other.

567
00:36:06,143 --> 00:36:09,187
You got boxes coming in
with a little something extra.

568
00:36:09,896 --> 00:36:11,481
Maybe your guy gets with my guy

569
00:36:11,606 --> 00:36:13,191
and brings in
something extra for me.

570
00:36:15,068 --> 00:36:16,778
No problem.

571
00:36:16,861 --> 00:36:20,824
Just tell me if you want
zit cream or pantyhose.

572
00:36:21,825 --> 00:36:26,204
What my guy sends, it's a little
more of a specialty item.

573
00:36:27,705 --> 00:36:29,874
Since when are
pills so special?

574
00:36:30,792 --> 00:36:31,835
Give you 5%.

575
00:36:34,838 --> 00:36:38,216
What am I supposed to do with 5%?
Burn it for heat?

576
00:36:39,676 --> 00:36:42,346
My commissary maxes out at $300

577
00:36:42,512 --> 00:36:45,182
and I got all
the toothpaste I need.

578
00:36:45,723 --> 00:36:48,477
10%, final offer.

579
00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:51,562
I...

580
00:36:53,315 --> 00:36:58,028
...don't do that shit!

581
00:36:58,320 --> 00:37:03,741
This shit, that shit, blue shit, bat shit!
It doesn't matter what you do.

582
00:37:04,993 --> 00:37:07,245
It's the doing
that makes you dirty.

583
00:37:08,497 --> 00:37:10,707
Don't play games with me, Red.

584
00:37:11,791 --> 00:37:14,211
You got no more moves, Mendez.

585
00:37:16,046 --> 00:37:18,173
This is it, man.

586
00:37:19,966 --> 00:37:23,136
There is nothing here.

587
00:37:25,347 --> 00:37:28,558
You got nothing on me.

588
00:37:41,905 --> 00:37:44,115
Oh, man!

589
00:37:47,536 --> 00:37:50,414
Guess things just
got messy in here.

590
00:37:58,129 --> 00:38:00,549
Everything's been deleted off this
phone except for these photos.

591
00:38:00,631 --> 00:38:02,426
I know! People, right?

592
00:38:02,509 --> 00:38:04,302
Well, where was it?
In the trash can.

593
00:38:04,469 --> 00:38:05,470
Where?

594
00:38:06,304 --> 00:38:07,847
I don't know, I just found it.

595
00:38:09,558 --> 00:38:11,059
You know,
I appreciate that fact that

596
00:38:11,184 --> 00:38:12,685
you don't wanna
snitch on anyone.

597
00:38:13,395 --> 00:38:16,314
The way these inmates treat
snitches, it's ugly.

598
00:38:17,524 --> 00:38:21,486
But if you can't tell me
who owns this phone,

599
00:38:21,611 --> 00:38:23,780
I'm afraid I can't
help you with the track.

600
00:38:24,114 --> 00:38:26,950
That is not what you said to me.
You said specifically...

601
00:38:27,033 --> 00:38:31,996
I'm sorry, I don't know what you heard.
But, unless I have a name...

602
00:38:36,751 --> 00:38:37,835
Enjoy the phone.

603
00:38:40,964 --> 00:38:42,715
Nice work, Chapman.

604
00:38:45,469 --> 00:38:48,972
I'm giving you one more minute to
pout and then I'm shaving you bald.

605
00:38:50,557 --> 00:38:52,016
Sporting a chunk
of white girl hair,

606
00:38:52,142 --> 00:38:53,703
look like you took
a scalp or some shit.

607
00:38:54,478 --> 00:38:55,895
Yo, yo, you need
to get you that

608
00:38:56,020 --> 00:38:57,439
Michelle Obama hair, for reals.

609
00:38:57,522 --> 00:38:59,983
White folks scared of Obama.

610
00:39:00,150 --> 00:39:04,988
I wanna look like Mo'Nique
from Essence magazine, 2008.

611
00:39:05,071 --> 00:39:06,448
Girl, please, ain't enough
relaxer in the world

612
00:39:06,531 --> 00:39:07,532
for that bullshit.

613
00:39:07,657 --> 00:39:09,493
Now what makes you
so sure the board is white?

614
00:39:09,618 --> 00:39:10,577
Point. True.

615
00:39:10,660 --> 00:39:13,330
There be brothers on the board,
I'm gonna be free at last, yo,

616
00:39:13,413 --> 00:39:16,500
'cause ain't no black man
gonna let a fine black woman

617
00:39:16,583 --> 00:39:18,960
such as me hide
her light in jail.

618
00:39:19,043 --> 00:39:22,631
Fool, brother is gonna be harder
on you, to show he got no bias.

619
00:39:22,713 --> 00:39:24,508
Shit, you better
hope for the whities.

620
00:39:24,674 --> 00:39:25,842
Yo, hope for white women.

621
00:39:25,925 --> 00:39:28,719
Y'all know how they love drinking
wine with their friends,

622
00:39:28,845 --> 00:39:31,389
talking 'bout how sad it is, black
folks ain't got their fair shakes.

623
00:39:31,515 --> 00:39:33,724
What, giving their housekeepers
a extra day off and shit.

624
00:39:33,850 --> 00:39:35,268
Y'all know what I'm saying?

625
00:39:35,352 --> 00:39:38,938
So you wanna look
like the black best friend

626
00:39:39,272 --> 00:39:40,482
in the white girl movie?

627
00:39:40,565 --> 00:39:44,819
Right. Okay, so you got Regina
King in Miss Congeniality.

628
00:39:44,944 --> 00:39:48,281
You got Alicia Keys in that
Nanny Diaries bullshit

629
00:39:48,365 --> 00:39:49,565
with ScarJo.
I didn't see that.

630
00:39:50,825 --> 00:39:52,785
And Regina King
in Legally Blonde.

631
00:39:54,078 --> 00:39:55,664
Now, you not thinking
big enough.

632
00:39:55,830 --> 00:39:56,956
What?

633
00:39:57,248 --> 00:39:58,749
Viola Davis.

634
00:39:59,292 --> 00:40:00,293
Oh.

635
00:40:00,669 --> 00:40:02,045
Eat Pray Love, motherfuckers!

636
00:40:02,212 --> 00:40:04,130
I gotta live
with this hair, yo.

637
00:40:04,881 --> 00:40:06,550
Do me like Rihanna.

638
00:40:06,675 --> 00:40:09,927
Rihanna when? She had, like, 26
hairdos in the past two years.

639
00:40:10,178 --> 00:40:12,222
2009 Rihanna, I got to spell
that shit out for you?

640
00:40:12,389 --> 00:40:14,932
Look, everybody's still hatin'
on Chris Brown,

641
00:40:15,058 --> 00:40:17,894
so maybe they'll throw me a
bone gettin' back at that fool.

642
00:40:19,103 --> 00:40:20,438
♪ Beat a bitch down

643
00:40:20,564 --> 00:40:22,106
♪ If you're named Chris Brown

644
00:40:22,691 --> 00:40:23,774
♪ Beat a bitch down ♪

645
00:40:32,701 --> 00:40:33,826
The fuck is that?

646
00:40:34,202 --> 00:40:36,580
Litchfield one,
pussy shutterbug zero.

647
00:40:37,414 --> 00:40:39,082
You put a straw in coffee?

648
00:40:39,457 --> 00:40:40,917
I just had my teeth bleached.

649
00:40:42,502 --> 00:40:43,503
Where was it?

650
00:40:43,836 --> 00:40:45,255
Healy found it.

651
00:40:45,338 --> 00:40:47,924
Good to know someone around
here is on his game.

652
00:40:48,592 --> 00:40:50,093
He "found" it?

653
00:40:50,885 --> 00:40:52,970
You're buying that, no contest?

654
00:40:53,096 --> 00:40:55,848
What, you think Healy's
running around here like a frat boy

655
00:40:55,932 --> 00:40:57,141
taking pictures of snatch?

656
00:40:58,602 --> 00:40:59,802
I think we should look into it.

657
00:40:59,936 --> 00:41:02,772
Seems kind of irrelevant now,
don't you think?

658
00:41:05,650 --> 00:41:07,444
We both know you're
after my job, Joe.

659
00:41:08,111 --> 00:41:10,863
But I'm not worried. Never have been.
Know why?

660
00:41:11,239 --> 00:41:13,366
'Cause you get
mired down in pettiness

661
00:41:13,491 --> 00:41:15,619
instead of
stepping your shit up.

662
00:41:17,036 --> 00:41:18,371
Nice haircut, by the way.

663
00:41:34,220 --> 00:41:35,263
Thanks.

664
00:41:35,555 --> 00:41:36,723
Sure.

665
00:41:37,974 --> 00:41:39,976
I keep feeling like I know you
from somewhere.

666
00:41:41,144 --> 00:41:42,384
You didn't go to Smith,
did you?

667
00:41:44,814 --> 00:41:45,982
Cabot High Wildcats?

668
00:41:46,065 --> 00:41:47,317
Nope.

669
00:41:48,109 --> 00:41:50,654
You know, I lived in Red Hook
for a while after college.

670
00:41:51,488 --> 00:41:53,364
I used to bag
groceries at Fairway.

671
00:41:53,490 --> 00:41:54,658
No way!

672
00:41:54,865 --> 00:41:56,785
Oh, my God, I remember you.

673
00:41:56,867 --> 00:41:58,286
You were always
forgetting your cloth bags.

674
00:41:58,411 --> 00:41:59,811
And I would pack
everything in paper

675
00:41:59,870 --> 00:42:01,998
and then you'd remember and get
the bags out of your purse

676
00:42:02,081 --> 00:42:03,416
and make me
re-pack everything.

677
00:42:03,958 --> 00:42:06,795
Oh, boy. Yeah, I guess that did
happen a couple of times, huh.

678
00:42:06,961 --> 00:42:10,340
Every time. For months.
You were a pain in the ass.

679
00:42:10,423 --> 00:42:11,758
Well...

680
00:42:11,966 --> 00:42:14,260
Who'da thunk we'd
end up here, huh?

681
00:42:15,637 --> 00:42:19,265
Anyway, I just want you to know,
that as far as I'm concerned,

682
00:42:19,349 --> 00:42:21,184
you and me are the same.

683
00:42:21,934 --> 00:42:22,935
Pardon?

684
00:42:23,019 --> 00:42:24,020
The only
difference between us is,

685
00:42:24,103 --> 00:42:26,856
when I made bad decisions in
life, I didn't get caught.

686
00:42:26,981 --> 00:42:29,150
It coulda been me
here in khaki, easy.

687
00:42:30,568 --> 00:42:31,778
Thank you for saying that.

688
00:42:34,364 --> 00:42:35,865
You know,
it's really nice to know

689
00:42:35,990 --> 00:42:37,492
that there's
somebody on our side.

690
00:42:37,950 --> 00:42:39,452
Well, you know.

691
00:42:42,288 --> 00:42:45,333
You know what would really help
to boost morale around here?

692
00:42:49,838 --> 00:42:51,548
You know, I saw that
bitch heading on over

693
00:42:51,631 --> 00:42:54,884
to Healy's office,
looking guilty as fuck.

694
00:42:56,093 --> 00:42:59,222
Guess suckin' dick's a little
easier than honest hard work.

695
00:42:59,389 --> 00:43:01,349
I feel sorry for her.

696
00:43:04,435 --> 00:43:06,312
You're right, Leanne.
Compassion

697
00:43:06,437 --> 00:43:08,356
is what we got
over the monkeys.

698
00:43:09,566 --> 00:43:10,734
You know what, though?

699
00:43:10,859 --> 00:43:14,945
Compassion ain't gonna help this
girl learn the way of things.

700
00:43:15,071 --> 00:43:16,614
I learned, we all learned.

701
00:43:17,532 --> 00:43:20,910
And that is that you have get
broken down to get raised back up.

702
00:43:21,160 --> 00:43:25,206
You know, I'm with you, hon.
Really.

703
00:43:25,790 --> 00:43:28,376
She's Waspy and
entitled and always

704
00:43:28,459 --> 00:43:30,086
asking if you have
this in whole grain,

705
00:43:30,211 --> 00:43:32,338
she's got the Bambi shtick
going on, I get all of it.

706
00:43:32,756 --> 00:43:36,300
But I'm gonna need you to
shut the fuck up about her

707
00:43:36,426 --> 00:43:38,803
and get over your shit.

708
00:43:39,220 --> 00:43:40,263
Or what?

709
00:43:47,604 --> 00:43:49,105
Or I will fuck you.

710
00:43:50,815 --> 00:43:52,191
Literally.

711
00:43:53,276 --> 00:43:55,779
I will sneak into your bunk
in the middle of the night

712
00:43:55,945 --> 00:43:57,822
and I'll lick your pussy.

713
00:43:58,239 --> 00:44:01,534
And I will do it
so good and so soft

714
00:44:01,618 --> 00:44:04,829
that you're gonna be on the edge
of coming by the time you wake up,

715
00:44:04,954 --> 00:44:06,289
and then I'll stop.

716
00:44:07,874 --> 00:44:10,293
And you'll be half asleep
and you'll beg for it.

717
00:44:10,418 --> 00:44:11,628
Oh, you will beg for it.

718
00:44:13,713 --> 00:44:16,299
And maybe I'll be nice,
and maybe I won't,

719
00:44:16,424 --> 00:44:19,552
but if I am nice?
The things you feel?

720
00:44:21,846 --> 00:44:24,140
They will ruin you forever.

721
00:44:26,476 --> 00:44:30,438
So, you know, choose.

722
00:44:35,192 --> 00:44:38,028
And exhale slowly.

723
00:44:41,407 --> 00:44:45,161
And float all the way down.

724
00:44:49,833 --> 00:44:51,584
Halfway up,

725
00:44:55,171 --> 00:45:00,008
and now roll all
the way down again,

726
00:45:03,262 --> 00:45:06,766
bend at the waist,
and let the arms hang.

727
00:45:12,020 --> 00:45:16,442
And continue to breathe,
and hang.

728
00:45:39,716 --> 00:45:40,925
Hey, what up?

729
00:45:41,049 --> 00:45:42,218
Hi.

730
00:45:42,343 --> 00:45:44,762
You got a minute? My man,
Three-D, wants to chat.

731
00:46:11,915 --> 00:46:13,499
You that track and
field girl, right?

732
00:46:14,751 --> 00:46:15,919
Yeah.

733
00:46:18,546 --> 00:46:19,756
You can't be here, yo.

734
00:46:20,130 --> 00:46:21,507
Little Frank told
me to come on by.

735
00:46:21,632 --> 00:46:24,052
Little Frank is not
a forward thinker.

736
00:46:30,808 --> 00:46:32,936
Look around you.
What you see?

737
00:46:34,437 --> 00:46:37,899
A party. People.

738
00:46:37,982 --> 00:46:39,233
What kinda people?

739
00:46:41,945 --> 00:46:42,987
Your crew.

740
00:46:43,487 --> 00:46:46,156
My crew, we thugs.

741
00:46:48,492 --> 00:46:52,914
We ain't finished school, we got
what we got until the next bust.

742
00:46:53,664 --> 00:46:55,541
It look like
you're doing okay to me.

743
00:46:59,336 --> 00:47:01,965
You're the real thing,
you feel me?

744
00:47:03,215 --> 00:47:05,384
Everything we playin' at,
everything we holdin',

745
00:47:05,509 --> 00:47:07,678
you can have it for real.

746
00:47:09,722 --> 00:47:12,016
You wanna fuck that up,
that's on you.

747
00:47:12,976 --> 00:47:14,560
I can't carry that.

748
00:47:16,312 --> 00:47:18,064
Yo, Richie.

749
00:47:22,526 --> 00:47:23,820
Make sure she gets home.

750
00:47:24,695 --> 00:47:28,866
You need money for sneakers
or whatever, give me a shout.

751
00:47:33,955 --> 00:47:35,957
I know where the door is.

752
00:47:48,678 --> 00:47:50,013
What up, rocket girl?

753
00:47:52,264 --> 00:47:53,891
I got booted, that's what.

754
00:47:54,017 --> 00:47:57,227
Well, Three-D got his own
ideas about right and wrong,

755
00:47:57,353 --> 00:47:59,022
like he Robin Hood
or something.

756
00:48:00,188 --> 00:48:01,231
And who are you?

757
00:48:01,983 --> 00:48:06,112
You wanna party, I'm the brother
that's not gonna stop you.

758
00:48:08,865 --> 00:48:12,910
You know, 'cause you got those
thick thighs on you, girl, like...

759
00:48:13,161 --> 00:48:15,412
Look good on a woman. Yeah.

760
00:48:15,997 --> 00:48:18,749
I usually go running and...

761
00:48:20,626 --> 00:48:23,379
Now, that dress, that's
not doin' you any favors.

762
00:48:27,299 --> 00:48:28,718
Let's share.

763
00:48:36,934 --> 00:48:38,561
Thank you.

764
00:48:38,644 --> 00:48:41,397
Dude, $3 tip on a $67 tab?

765
00:48:41,522 --> 00:48:44,400
What, is 70 your lucky number
or something? What is that?

766
00:48:45,902 --> 00:48:47,070
D-bag.

767
00:48:50,823 --> 00:48:51,824
What'll you have?

768
00:48:54,618 --> 00:48:55,619
This.

769
00:48:56,328 --> 00:48:58,039
I'm buying you a drink.

770
00:49:00,958 --> 00:49:03,002
Uh... Margarita?

771
00:49:04,670 --> 00:49:05,796
Okay.

772
00:49:11,427 --> 00:49:13,429
Let me ask you something.

773
00:49:15,098 --> 00:49:16,933
Do I seem pathetic to you?

774
00:49:17,391 --> 00:49:19,602
Before or after you
asked that question?

775
00:49:21,062 --> 00:49:22,897
This is my first
time out by myself.

776
00:49:24,523 --> 00:49:26,943
First time in
a long time, I mean.

777
00:49:28,111 --> 00:49:34,075
And I just don't wanna
be, you know, that guy.

778
00:49:39,371 --> 00:49:40,790
That guy?

779
00:49:42,332 --> 00:49:44,501
That guy's worth
about $75 million.

780
00:49:45,669 --> 00:49:48,380
Yeah. He writes
action movies about robots

781
00:49:48,464 --> 00:49:50,104
that turn into other robots,
or something.

782
00:49:50,549 --> 00:49:51,675
And he tips well.

783
00:49:54,428 --> 00:49:55,805
You're doing just fine.

784
00:50:02,019 --> 00:50:03,020
Cheers.

785
00:50:03,146 --> 00:50:04,188
And to you.

786
00:50:10,861 --> 00:50:11,988
So what's your story?

787
00:50:15,992 --> 00:50:17,994
Jesus Christ.

788
00:50:18,161 --> 00:50:19,327
What?

789
00:50:19,996 --> 00:50:21,831
What's my story?

790
00:50:21,998 --> 00:50:23,833
I'm sorry, did I piss you off?

791
00:50:23,958 --> 00:50:26,334
No, you... Yes.

792
00:50:27,170 --> 00:50:28,462
Yes, I'm pissed off.

793
00:50:29,505 --> 00:50:32,133
Because, you're gorgeous.

794
00:50:33,592 --> 00:50:36,386
Your mouth is amazing.
Your neck?

795
00:50:36,512 --> 00:50:38,806
My God, your ass looks
great in those jeans.

796
00:50:38,889 --> 00:50:41,184
No offense,
I'm sorry, I just...

797
00:50:41,267 --> 00:50:43,311
And I feel shitty for
even looking at you.

798
00:50:43,393 --> 00:50:46,189
Because I have a fiancee.

799
00:50:48,440 --> 00:50:50,026
And you know what
else I can't do?

800
00:50:51,277 --> 00:50:52,360
Look at her.

801
00:50:54,071 --> 00:50:55,948
Because she's in
fucking prison.

802
00:50:56,657 --> 00:51:01,329
Yeah, yeah, because she did
something stupid and crazy and...

803
00:51:03,039 --> 00:51:08,044
...indicative of an ominously
shaky moral compass.

804
00:51:08,169 --> 00:51:11,588
And as a result I am stuck
here, alone, at this bar.

805
00:51:11,714 --> 00:51:14,550
Talking to you and enjoying it
and feeling like an asshole.

806
00:51:17,887 --> 00:51:19,722
Polly was right.
Fuck her.

807
00:51:29,481 --> 00:51:31,317
I'm gonna be in
the New York Times.

808
00:51:42,703 --> 00:51:45,622
Track is back open.
F-your-I.

809
00:51:45,748 --> 00:51:47,083
Pardon me?

810
00:51:48,084 --> 00:51:51,754
I'm reassigning Fischer, eight
hours a week. Her request.

811
00:51:52,213 --> 00:51:54,715
Apparently,
there's some film thing

812
00:51:54,840 --> 00:51:57,385
going around,
23 hours or whatever,

813
00:51:57,467 --> 00:52:01,931
says how exercise saves us
bucks in the long term.

814
00:52:02,430 --> 00:52:05,684
Which appeals to you, 'cause you're
chief bean-counter now, right?

815
00:52:06,685 --> 00:52:07,686
Uhh...

816
00:52:07,811 --> 00:52:10,356
Fig is gonna eat that shit up.

817
00:52:10,773 --> 00:52:12,614
You come up with this
in a vision or something?

818
00:52:13,401 --> 00:52:16,862
It was all Fischer.
Trust the woman, right?

819
00:52:18,446 --> 00:52:21,117
Doesn't threaten
me to admit it,

820
00:52:21,284 --> 00:52:23,953
that is one smart piece of ass.

821
00:52:31,294 --> 00:52:34,630
No, no, no, no, no!
Mi Diablo! No!

822
00:52:46,309 --> 00:52:47,810
Holy shit.

823
00:52:53,899 --> 00:52:55,318
Jesus Christ, Flores.

824
00:53:01,991 --> 00:53:05,535
That was the only place in this
prison I could take a shit. Fuck!

825
00:53:06,787 --> 00:53:08,122
Fucking dios.

826
00:53:22,761 --> 00:53:25,513
You make them wait,
it ain't gonna help.

827
00:53:38,777 --> 00:53:40,779
Have a seat, Miss Jefferson.

828
00:53:57,629 --> 00:54:00,716
Yo. Yo, you see
that nigga face?

829
00:54:00,883 --> 00:54:02,550
Yo, Islam motherfucker
got so much beard,

830
00:54:02,676 --> 00:54:04,436
he ain't seen his own face
since high school.

831
00:54:04,512 --> 00:54:06,138
Ain't no Islam, he a Sikh.
You racist.

832
00:54:08,182 --> 00:54:09,382
Hit the corner, hit the corner.

833
00:54:09,392 --> 00:54:10,632
We gonna lose
'em at the corner.

834
00:54:13,729 --> 00:54:15,398
Wait up, yo!
Come on!

835
00:54:15,481 --> 00:54:18,108
I said, wait up.
Don't be showin' off.

836
00:54:19,985 --> 00:54:21,945
Put your hands
where I can see them!

837
00:54:22,654 --> 00:54:26,909
Get down on the ground.
Get down on the ground!

838
00:54:27,243 --> 00:54:28,576
Okay, okay.

839
00:55:01,511 --> 00:55:03,779
This don't make us even.

840
00:55:06,282 --> 00:55:07,408
Okay.

841
00:55:33,100 --> 00:55:44,020
<font color="#ec14bd">Sync & corrections by honeybunny</font>
<font color="#ec14bd">www.addic7ed.com</font>

