1
00:00:07,743 --> 00:00:09,078
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
2
00:01:05,595 --> 00:01:16,297
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
3
00:01:19,856 --> 00:01:21,066
Why aren't you at work?
4
00:01:21,525 --> 00:01:23,277
Luschek never showed.
5
00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:25,201
Probably passed out
in his own vomit somewhere.
6
00:01:25,820 --> 00:01:28,491
So you chose to
come in here and help?
7
00:01:28,658 --> 00:01:30,409
Yeah. Figured you could use it.
It's Thanksgiving.
8
00:01:30,493 --> 00:01:31,786
Then get your
ass off my counter
9
00:01:31,868 --> 00:01:34,079
and help Gina pull the turkeys
out of the freezer.
10
00:01:34,163 --> 00:01:36,039
Shit, we got
real turkey this year!
11
00:01:36,915 --> 00:01:40,043
We got trimmings from the factory.
50 cents a pound.
12
00:01:40,169 --> 00:01:42,546
Trimmings? Jesus.
The shit no one else wants.
13
00:01:42,672 --> 00:01:44,674
That's a bag of turkey
assholes right there.
14
00:01:44,757 --> 00:01:46,759
The whole meal has to come
in at $1.05 a prisoner.
15
00:01:46,842 --> 00:01:49,679
Taxpayers don't give
a shit if it's a holiday.
16
00:01:49,804 --> 00:01:51,472
We're the bad guys.
17
00:02:00,648 --> 00:02:02,024
Pig-fucker.
18
00:02:11,534 --> 00:02:13,494
Brown the onions for the gravy.
19
00:02:42,773 --> 00:02:44,525
SOPHIA: That too hot, baby?
20
00:02:46,485 --> 00:02:49,780
No, it's perfect.
21
00:02:50,489 --> 00:02:52,032
I feel so good.
22
00:02:52,742 --> 00:02:54,909
SISTER INGALLS: "Frequent
blinking may actually be a way
23
00:02:55,035 --> 00:02:57,329
"for your brain to
rest while you're awake."
24
00:02:57,413 --> 00:02:59,331
Wakeful rest, huh?
25
00:02:59,456 --> 00:03:00,833
You okay, honey?
26
00:03:02,251 --> 00:03:04,795
(VOICE BREAKING) It's just being
touched by another person.
27
00:03:08,883 --> 00:03:10,551
SOPHIA: I get it.
Thanks.
28
00:03:10,634 --> 00:03:12,261
The body gets lonely in here.
29
00:03:12,428 --> 00:03:15,347
Yeah. It's not even sex,
you know? I just...
30
00:03:16,139 --> 00:03:17,683
I miss contact.
31
00:03:18,601 --> 00:03:21,103
Human beings aren't supposed
to live like this.
32
00:03:23,063 --> 00:03:24,398
I've been in almost two years
33
00:03:24,481 --> 00:03:26,609
and there's still nights
I reach out for my wife.
34
00:03:26,734 --> 00:03:29,236
You know, I was
thinking about you guys.
35
00:03:30,112 --> 00:03:32,615
And I was imagining
what I would do if Larry
36
00:03:32,740 --> 00:03:35,242
told me that he
wanted to be a woman.
37
00:03:35,325 --> 00:03:38,370
I'd like to think that
I would be open to it,
38
00:03:38,454 --> 00:03:40,163
but it would just be so weird.
39
00:03:41,123 --> 00:03:42,792
I'm sorry,
is that totally rude?
40
00:03:42,875 --> 00:03:44,585
No. It's fine.
41
00:03:45,628 --> 00:03:47,588
He would make
such an ugly girl.
42
00:03:47,671 --> 00:03:50,006
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
43
00:03:50,132 --> 00:03:51,372
Is he coming to
visit you today?
44
00:03:52,635 --> 00:03:54,678
First holiday in
prison can be rough.
45
00:03:55,304 --> 00:03:56,472
Very emotional.
46
00:03:56,597 --> 00:03:58,223
SOPHIA: But she's
gonna be fine,
47
00:03:58,307 --> 00:04:01,477
'cause we about to make some Heidi Klum
shit happen right here. (CHUCKLES)
48
00:04:02,937 --> 00:04:03,938
(SNIFFS)
49
00:04:04,563 --> 00:04:06,565
Ugh, that smells nasty.
50
00:04:08,191 --> 00:04:09,401
What's it made of?
51
00:04:11,236 --> 00:04:12,696
You don't wanna know.
52
00:04:13,823 --> 00:04:14,824
(GROANS)
53
00:04:15,658 --> 00:04:17,117
How did you learn all this?
54
00:04:17,868 --> 00:04:21,831
My aunt was a santera. I used
to help her out sometimes.
55
00:04:23,039 --> 00:04:24,166
I dabble.
56
00:04:26,710 --> 00:04:28,420
So what's gonna happen to me?
57
00:04:29,505 --> 00:04:33,175
You're gonna cramp up,
some wicked diarrhea.
58
00:04:35,344 --> 00:04:37,304
This shit ain't pretty.
59
00:04:37,429 --> 00:04:41,642
You drink this, then you're gonna
go out and dig a hole in the yard.
60
00:04:42,184 --> 00:04:43,727
You're gonna make
me shit in a hole?
61
00:04:43,853 --> 00:04:46,062
No. You're gonna put
this bean in there.
62
00:04:46,856 --> 00:04:48,691
Then you're gonna
find a cigarette,
63
00:04:48,816 --> 00:04:50,943
you're gonna blow
some smoke in there,
64
00:04:51,026 --> 00:04:53,529
you're gonna cover it up
with a mound of dirt.
65
00:04:54,613 --> 00:04:56,573
And that's gonna have to do it,
66
00:04:57,240 --> 00:05:04,122
because I don't have any
angelica or gris-gris oil.
67
00:05:07,334 --> 00:05:10,796
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
68
00:05:11,630 --> 00:05:12,882
Take it.
69
00:05:18,303 --> 00:05:19,471
This is gonna kill it?
70
00:05:19,555 --> 00:05:21,139
Well, that's what
you want, right?
71
00:05:21,223 --> 00:05:22,766
As long as it
don't feel anything.
72
00:05:22,892 --> 00:05:26,061
Please. It don't
even have a brain yet.
73
00:05:30,733 --> 00:05:32,401
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
74
00:05:33,318 --> 00:05:35,069
Hurry up, drink it.
75
00:05:37,406 --> 00:05:38,406
DAYANARA: Ow, that's hot!
76
00:05:38,448 --> 00:05:41,117
GLORIA: I told you it was, stupid.
Go ahead, drink it all.
77
00:05:43,119 --> 00:05:44,120
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
78
00:05:44,830 --> 00:05:46,540
Where my Snickers?
79
00:05:59,428 --> 00:06:04,307
You know, I pray for all the dead
babies and all their baby souls.
80
00:06:07,686 --> 00:06:10,773
(SOBS) And God, he's gonna
let them into heaven,
81
00:06:10,856 --> 00:06:13,107
even though
they weren't baptized.
82
00:06:14,068 --> 00:06:15,861
Are you getting all of this?
Yeah.
83
00:06:15,945 --> 00:06:19,656
And you can also tell Judy
that I pray for her as well.
84
00:06:19,782 --> 00:06:21,408
Well, her name's Barbara.
85
00:06:21,491 --> 00:06:23,201
Barbara?
Barbara.
86
00:06:23,285 --> 00:06:25,203
Damn! I can't keep all
this fan mail straight.
87
00:06:25,287 --> 00:06:27,163
(STUTTERS) I can't
keep up with it.
88
00:06:27,831 --> 00:06:29,123
What? You have fans?
89
00:06:29,249 --> 00:06:30,709
She's a hero.
(ALEX SCOFFS)
90
00:06:31,334 --> 00:06:33,087
She's a defender of the unborn.
91
00:06:33,253 --> 00:06:35,422
Jeez, that sounds
like a bad X-Men movie.
92
00:06:35,547 --> 00:06:37,758
What'd you do,
bomb an abortion clinic?
93
00:06:38,634 --> 00:06:44,848
And you can sign off with, "I
will be out of here by 2015,
94
00:06:45,808 --> 00:06:47,810
"before the rapture."
95
00:06:47,893 --> 00:06:48,978
(CHUCKLING) Oh, man.
96
00:06:49,103 --> 00:06:50,437
Is something
fucking funny to you?
97
00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:52,940
Yeah. It's just that people
predict the rapture all the time.
98
00:06:53,023 --> 00:06:55,358
I mean, wasn't that supposed
to happen in 2011?
99
00:06:55,484 --> 00:06:59,488
No. (STUTTERS) It comes in two stages.
If you study your shit.
100
00:07:00,656 --> 00:07:03,659
The first one was
a spiritual rapture.
101
00:07:04,618 --> 00:07:07,746
And the second one coming
is a physical one.
102
00:07:07,830 --> 00:07:09,790
Ah, I see.
103
00:07:09,873 --> 00:07:10,874
Okay?
Got it.
104
00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:12,001
And you're not invited,
105
00:07:12,126 --> 00:07:15,504
because they don't allow gay
people on the rapture bus!
106
00:07:15,587 --> 00:07:17,297
There's a bus?
107
00:07:17,756 --> 00:07:20,342
Are all the seats already taken
by Appalachian meth-heads?
108
00:07:20,467 --> 00:07:22,678
Oh, man, you're gonna... You're just
gonna get it, Vause, aren't you?
109
00:07:22,761 --> 00:07:24,471
Do we have to go
back to the dryer?
110
00:07:24,554 --> 00:07:26,274
You already locked me
in that fucking dryer.
111
00:07:26,348 --> 00:07:28,108
Yeah, maybe I'll fucking
turn it on this time.
112
00:07:28,183 --> 00:07:29,852
Make you spin
around like a gerbil.
113
00:07:29,935 --> 00:07:31,687
Wanna know why?
114
00:07:31,937 --> 00:07:38,610
'Cause I've had it with
rich bitches like you.
115
00:07:44,449 --> 00:07:45,701
JESSICA: Those are bobos!
116
00:07:46,284 --> 00:07:49,121
Real Adidas have
three stripes, not four.
117
00:07:49,204 --> 00:07:50,539
Your shoes are bobos.
118
00:07:50,664 --> 00:07:51,874
So?
119
00:07:51,999 --> 00:07:55,836
So your mom shops at Payless.
And works at Friendly's.
120
00:07:55,919 --> 00:07:57,546
(GIRLS LAUGH)
121
00:07:57,671 --> 00:07:59,798
My mom has, like, four jobs.
122
00:08:00,049 --> 00:08:02,217
That's not something
to brag about.
123
00:08:02,342 --> 00:08:04,053
You dress like a bum.
124
00:08:04,178 --> 00:08:06,138
She smells like one, too.
(GIRLS GIGGLE)
125
00:08:06,221 --> 00:08:07,723
(CAR HORN HONKS)
126
00:08:08,891 --> 00:08:11,393
JESSICA: Do you guys live in
that janky car? (CHUCKLES)
127
00:08:12,144 --> 00:08:13,729
Bye-bye, pigsty!
Bye-bye, pigsty!
128
00:08:13,812 --> 00:08:14,813
(GIRLS GIGGLE)
129
00:08:15,689 --> 00:08:16,982
DIANE: Are those your friends?
130
00:08:17,107 --> 00:08:18,400
No.
131
00:08:18,567 --> 00:08:19,902
How was school?
132
00:08:21,111 --> 00:08:24,614
They changed the schedule around, so
I don't gotta work nights no more.
133
00:08:24,740 --> 00:08:27,534
Fucking Brenda keeps trying to
get me to cover her shifts.
134
00:08:27,617 --> 00:08:30,245
What are you doing?
It's freezing out.
135
00:08:32,122 --> 00:08:33,582
DIANE: What the fuck was that?
136
00:08:33,707 --> 00:08:37,335
I'm not wearing those anymore.
They're bobos.
137
00:08:40,089 --> 00:08:41,423
Go get 'em back.
138
00:08:41,506 --> 00:08:43,008
Jessica Wedge
says they're lame.
139
00:08:43,092 --> 00:08:44,843
So fuck Jessica Wedge.
140
00:08:45,010 --> 00:08:48,097
They all make fun of me.
They call me pigsty.
141
00:08:50,473 --> 00:08:51,934
Did you tell them
who your dad is?
142
00:08:52,059 --> 00:08:53,435
I've never even met him.
143
00:08:53,602 --> 00:08:54,978
Well, you tell them.
144
00:08:55,104 --> 00:08:58,273
You tell them, "My dad is Lee Burley,
the drummer for Death Maiden."
145
00:08:58,398 --> 00:09:00,984
You see what those smug
little bitches say then.
146
00:09:01,110 --> 00:09:02,150
I mean, who are they, huh?
147
00:09:02,236 --> 00:09:04,077
What? 'Cause their parents
work at the college,
148
00:09:04,113 --> 00:09:05,614
they think they're
all fucking fancy?
149
00:09:05,697 --> 00:09:07,783
You are the daughter
of a rock god.
150
00:09:08,491 --> 00:09:11,661
If he's so rich and famous,
why are we so broke?
151
00:09:12,662 --> 00:09:15,290
You know how many girls used
to scream at his concerts?
152
00:09:15,373 --> 00:09:19,461
You know, rip their clothes off?
Throw themselves at him?
153
00:09:19,544 --> 00:09:23,840
But your dad chose me.
And together we made you.
154
00:09:25,675 --> 00:09:27,552
Now go get your
fucking sneakers.
155
00:09:27,636 --> 00:09:30,973
Don't you listen to those
smarty-pants assholes.
156
00:09:31,056 --> 00:09:32,456
They're gonna have
boring-ass lives.
157
00:09:32,515 --> 00:09:36,186
They're gonna wish that they were you.
You are cool.
158
00:09:40,107 --> 00:09:41,483
PORNSTACHE:
Listen up, turd-bags!
159
00:09:43,777 --> 00:09:45,779
We're gonna let you have your
little going-away party,
160
00:09:45,862 --> 00:09:49,699
but do not make our lives more difficult
afterwards by hanging yourself,
161
00:09:49,825 --> 00:09:52,661
with a sheet,
or a tampon string,
162
00:09:52,744 --> 00:09:55,247
or whatever the fuck you like to
get all arts and craftsy with.
163
00:09:55,330 --> 00:09:58,000
No Thanksgiving suicides.
164
00:09:58,125 --> 00:10:01,461
Chapman, what are we not to do
on this day of thanks?
165
00:10:01,544 --> 00:10:02,963
Commit suicide?
166
00:10:03,046 --> 00:10:04,047
Exactly.
167
00:10:04,714 --> 00:10:07,968
We are the Pilgrims,
you bitches are the Indians.
168
00:10:08,051 --> 00:10:09,845
This is the holiday
where we cooperate.
169
00:10:10,012 --> 00:10:11,346
BIG BOO: Oh, yes.
170
00:10:11,471 --> 00:10:15,433
We bring you maize, and you
give us small pox blankets.
171
00:10:15,558 --> 00:10:17,853
Exactly. Everybody wins.
172
00:10:21,731 --> 00:10:23,108
You look like JonBenet Ramsey.
173
00:10:23,192 --> 00:10:25,735
(CHUCKLES SARCASTICALLY) Well,
that's what I was going for.
174
00:10:26,361 --> 00:10:27,487
Can you hold this for me?
175
00:10:27,612 --> 00:10:28,738
Yeah.
176
00:10:31,867 --> 00:10:33,035
Did you make this?
177
00:10:34,036 --> 00:10:35,037
Mmm-hmm.
178
00:10:35,453 --> 00:10:37,706
It's my second attempt. I spelled
it wrong the first time.
179
00:10:39,041 --> 00:10:40,042
(ALEX CHUCKLES)
180
00:10:40,292 --> 00:10:41,960
And they say you
went to college.
181
00:10:42,044 --> 00:10:43,045
(CHUCKLES)
182
00:10:43,712 --> 00:10:47,716
God, I hate seeing people go. It
reminds me how much time I have left.
183
00:10:47,841 --> 00:10:48,884
PIPER: Yeah.
184
00:10:48,967 --> 00:10:50,635
But think of
the story that you'll have.
185
00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:52,762
That is my line.
186
00:10:52,929 --> 00:10:55,640
I know it is. You always trot
it out in times of suckiness.
187
00:10:55,849 --> 00:10:56,892
Yeah.
188
00:10:57,392 --> 00:11:00,436
Like that stomach
virus I had in Java.
189
00:11:00,562 --> 00:11:02,314
Oh, it was
a great fucking story.
190
00:11:02,397 --> 00:11:04,157
The whole village came out
to watch you poop.
191
00:11:04,358 --> 00:11:05,859
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
192
00:11:06,318 --> 00:11:07,319
Hmm.
193
00:11:07,736 --> 00:11:09,487
So maybe this is
kind of like that.
194
00:11:10,113 --> 00:11:13,242
Yo, yo, she coming,
y'all! Taystee!
195
00:11:13,407 --> 00:11:16,203
ALL: (CHANTING)
Taystee, Taystee, Taystee!
196
00:11:17,746 --> 00:11:19,497
I'm getting out, bitches!
197
00:11:19,581 --> 00:11:20,832
(ALL CHEERING)
198
00:11:20,957 --> 00:11:22,167
Yeah. Fight the power!
Fuck the man!
199
00:11:22,251 --> 00:11:23,252
Hey!
200
00:11:23,417 --> 00:11:24,586
Watch it.
201
00:11:24,669 --> 00:11:26,255
Hey, yo, come here.
202
00:11:27,256 --> 00:11:28,422
Girl, you my shawty.
203
00:11:28,757 --> 00:11:31,425
Aw! Cut it out.
204
00:11:31,593 --> 00:11:35,013
You scrubby little hood rats
gonna make a bitch cry.
205
00:11:35,097 --> 00:11:36,098
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
206
00:11:37,182 --> 00:11:38,183
(R&B MUSIC PLAYING)
207
00:11:38,267 --> 00:11:39,601
I'll miss you, bitch.
208
00:11:39,893 --> 00:11:40,894
Yeah, girl.
209
00:11:40,977 --> 00:11:42,520
(INMATES CHEERING)
210
00:11:50,444 --> 00:11:51,654
My God, do you remember this?
211
00:11:51,780 --> 00:11:53,031
Yes.
212
00:11:53,115 --> 00:11:54,950
I don't even know how
the arms go. I think...
213
00:12:00,956 --> 00:12:02,596
(INMATES LAUGHING)
POUSSEY: What the fuck?
214
00:12:02,624 --> 00:12:04,126
Shit, these white
girls trying to throw down.
215
00:12:04,251 --> 00:12:06,044
(INMATES CHEERING
AND LAUGHING)
216
00:12:12,050 --> 00:12:13,490
JANAE: Yeah.
BLACK CINDY: Yeah, girl!
217
00:12:13,593 --> 00:12:15,304
BIG BOO: Shake that ass.
218
00:12:19,099 --> 00:12:20,350
That's lesbian activity.
219
00:12:21,559 --> 00:12:23,145
INMATE: Yeah!
220
00:12:23,228 --> 00:12:24,604
It sure is.
221
00:12:25,772 --> 00:12:28,400
TAYSTEE: White girls
gone wild.
222
00:12:28,482 --> 00:12:29,859
INMATE: Oh, my gosh.
223
00:12:31,653 --> 00:12:33,487
They're sexing,
Mr. Healy. I seen it.
224
00:12:33,613 --> 00:12:35,489
This morning, in the bathroom,
225
00:12:35,615 --> 00:12:37,742
one girl's face was all up
in the other one's hoo-ha.
226
00:12:37,826 --> 00:12:38,994
It was so nasty.
227
00:12:39,077 --> 00:12:40,662
It's an abomination.
228
00:12:40,829 --> 00:12:42,414
Okay, enough.
229
00:12:42,998 --> 00:12:44,333
They were moaning
and everything.
230
00:12:44,458 --> 00:12:46,500
Speaking in tongues, like
it's some kind of revival.
231
00:12:46,584 --> 00:12:49,712
Who? Who are you
talking about?
232
00:12:49,838 --> 00:12:52,174
Vause and Chapman.
233
00:12:55,135 --> 00:12:56,928
Chapman?
Mmm-hmm.
234
00:12:57,012 --> 00:12:58,263
Chapman.
235
00:12:58,347 --> 00:13:02,392
She a lesbian.
They lesbianing together.
236
00:13:03,726 --> 00:13:06,480
They're in there right now
in front of everyone,
237
00:13:06,562 --> 00:13:08,564
dancing all up on each other.
238
00:13:08,815 --> 00:13:09,858
Show me.
239
00:13:12,027 --> 00:13:13,695
(INMATES CHEERING)
240
00:13:20,576 --> 00:13:21,661
Chapman!
241
00:13:21,744 --> 00:13:23,038
Get over here.
242
00:13:24,831 --> 00:13:26,192
(MUSIC STOPS)
INMATE: Party's over.
243
00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:30,920
We were just...
Shut your mouth, Chapman.
244
00:13:31,380 --> 00:13:34,090
You think it's appropriate
to violate your fellow inmate?
245
00:13:34,216 --> 00:13:36,176
Violate? We were just dancing...
I said shut your mouth!
246
00:13:36,259 --> 00:13:37,551
You asked me a question.
247
00:13:39,888 --> 00:13:41,368
That looked like
attempted rape to me.
248
00:13:41,390 --> 00:13:42,891
Take her to SHU.
PORNSTACHE: Uh...
249
00:13:42,974 --> 00:13:45,185
What? You can't do that.
250
00:13:45,268 --> 00:13:46,269
Yeah, she's kind of right.
251
00:13:46,395 --> 00:13:47,979
Shut up, Mendez!
252
00:13:48,146 --> 00:13:49,939
You know,
I'm tired of your shit.
253
00:13:50,065 --> 00:13:53,235
I'm your superior
fucking officer!
254
00:13:53,318 --> 00:13:57,155
Now, you put her in the goddamn box,
or I will fucking write you up, too!
255
00:13:57,239 --> 00:13:58,281
PIPER: No, no, no, no.
256
00:13:58,407 --> 00:13:59,699
She didn't even do anything.
HEALY: Step back!
257
00:13:59,782 --> 00:14:02,202
Or I will cite you for
assaulting an officer.
258
00:14:02,369 --> 00:14:03,870
PIPER: I have
visitation today.
259
00:14:03,953 --> 00:14:05,121
Larry's coming to see me.
260
00:14:05,247 --> 00:14:06,664
You can't do this.
PORNSTACHE: It's all right.
261
00:14:06,748 --> 00:14:08,458
Let's do what the man says...
Please don't do this to me.
262
00:14:08,582 --> 00:14:10,252
...before he has an aneurysm.
Come on.
263
00:14:11,086 --> 00:14:13,006
PIPER: Please don't do this.
PORNSTACHE: Come on!
264
00:14:24,266 --> 00:14:25,434
ABBY: Give me a shotgun!
265
00:14:25,517 --> 00:14:27,852
Give me a motherfucking
shotgun, motherfucker!
266
00:14:30,688 --> 00:14:32,107
This is you.
267
00:14:37,487 --> 00:14:39,781
How long am I gonna be in here?
268
00:14:41,824 --> 00:14:43,952
Till we let you out.
269
00:14:53,044 --> 00:14:54,754
So tomorrow's the day.
270
00:14:55,797 --> 00:14:59,509
My cousin was supposed to send me my
dress-out pack, but it never came.
271
00:14:59,634 --> 00:15:02,345
Now I gotta wear the same
shit I came in here with.
272
00:15:02,471 --> 00:15:03,721
Man, it's gonna be too tight.
273
00:15:03,846 --> 00:15:05,932
(CHUCKLES) Man, you can walk
out of here in a garbage bag,
274
00:15:06,015 --> 00:15:07,856
you'll still be dancing
all the way to the bus.
275
00:15:09,561 --> 00:15:10,937
I'm scared.
276
00:15:11,229 --> 00:15:13,482
Nothing out there gonna be
scarier than this shit.
277
00:15:13,648 --> 00:15:15,900
Shit, I been in
institutions my whole life.
278
00:15:15,984 --> 00:15:19,195
I was a ward of the state till I was 16.
Then juvie.
279
00:15:20,905 --> 00:15:22,157
I got no skills.
280
00:15:22,324 --> 00:15:23,783
MISS CLAUDETTE:
Well, now you're just lying.
281
00:15:23,866 --> 00:15:26,828
You've worked in that law
library for two years.
282
00:15:26,953 --> 00:15:28,663
You know more than
my public defender.
283
00:15:28,788 --> 00:15:32,459
Yeah, but out there, you need
real school for that stuff.
284
00:15:32,542 --> 00:15:34,383
(VOICE BREAKING) No one's
gonna take me serious.
285
00:15:35,378 --> 00:15:37,589
MISS CLAUDETTE:
You're a smart girl.
286
00:15:37,631 --> 00:15:39,424
You like to play the clown,
287
00:15:40,175 --> 00:15:42,677
but you've got a lot
to offer this world.
288
00:15:42,802 --> 00:15:44,554
This is not a life, Taystee.
289
00:15:45,555 --> 00:15:47,849
Yo, listen to Voodoo Mambo, yo.
290
00:15:47,932 --> 00:15:49,725
Hey, yo, you think
you just having...
291
00:15:49,851 --> 00:15:50,852
What they call it?
292
00:15:50,935 --> 00:15:54,439
That thing that happens to animals in
captivity where it changes they brains?
293
00:15:54,523 --> 00:15:55,857
I seen it at
the Bronx Zoo once.
294
00:15:55,982 --> 00:15:58,401
This giraffe ate its own vomit,
295
00:15:58,527 --> 00:16:00,987
banged its head up
against the bars.
296
00:16:01,070 --> 00:16:04,616
'Cause it ain't fit to live in the wild no more.
Don't know how to eat leaves.
297
00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:07,160
That's what I'm saying.
I'm the giraffe.
298
00:16:07,285 --> 00:16:10,413
Fuck no, you ain't. Giraffes skinny.
Look at that ass.
299
00:16:10,539 --> 00:16:11,706
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
300
00:16:12,790 --> 00:16:14,125
Yo, don't let 'em
get to you, T.
301
00:16:15,918 --> 00:16:17,920
This ain't where it's at.
302
00:16:18,713 --> 00:16:21,675
Jed and Lane are flying in from
Chicago tonight with the kids.
303
00:16:21,757 --> 00:16:22,800
Will Grammie be there?
304
00:16:22,884 --> 00:16:24,511
Grammie's gonna
stay in North Carolina.
305
00:16:24,594 --> 00:16:25,761
She's got a boyfriend.
306
00:16:26,221 --> 00:16:27,305
No shit!
307
00:16:27,389 --> 00:16:28,390
Suzanne.
308
00:16:28,557 --> 00:16:30,892
Sorry, language.
309
00:16:31,518 --> 00:16:34,896
I know I'm a mess. I've been cooking
at the soup kitchen at church.
310
00:16:35,021 --> 00:16:36,398
Sweet potato casserole?
311
00:16:36,481 --> 00:16:38,567
Yeah, I'm a one-trick pony.
(CHUCKLES) Hmm.
312
00:16:39,108 --> 00:16:42,237
See, you're back at church.
313
00:16:42,404 --> 00:16:44,906
I told you,
people will get over it.
314
00:16:45,031 --> 00:16:47,617
Well, there's a new pastor.
Hmm.
315
00:16:47,950 --> 00:16:49,827
He's been really welcoming.
Very nice.
316
00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:53,039
He introduced me
to a money manager,
317
00:16:53,122 --> 00:16:55,625
who gave me some free advice
on how to talk to the bank.
318
00:16:55,750 --> 00:16:57,877
And he's sweet with Michael.
319
00:16:58,420 --> 00:16:59,421
Um...
320
00:17:00,547 --> 00:17:03,508
Eva stopped by the salon.
She's pregnant.
321
00:17:04,008 --> 00:17:05,760
You know, she's been
trying for a long time.
322
00:17:05,843 --> 00:17:07,887
You like him? This pastor?
323
00:17:09,097 --> 00:17:10,348
He's a good man.
324
00:17:10,932 --> 00:17:12,308
That's not what I'm asking.
325
00:17:14,769 --> 00:17:17,689
I'm not gonna talk about this.
It's Thanksgiving.
326
00:17:17,813 --> 00:17:19,232
Well, I wanna talk about it.
327
00:17:20,609 --> 00:17:22,360
What do you want me to say?
328
00:17:22,611 --> 00:17:24,613
That I met someone
and I'm interested?
329
00:17:26,448 --> 00:17:28,324
That I'm lonely and I miss men?
330
00:17:30,285 --> 00:17:31,453
When you went away,
you told me...
331
00:17:31,578 --> 00:17:33,121
I know what I said.
332
00:17:33,996 --> 00:17:38,042
Baby, I don't want some strange
man around my son, my wife.
333
00:17:39,377 --> 00:17:42,631
Well, we don't always get
what we want now, do we?
334
00:17:46,301 --> 00:17:48,136
What about your hair?
Mommy!
335
00:17:48,803 --> 00:17:51,681
I happen to like
my hair like this.
336
00:17:52,807 --> 00:17:53,808
(SIGHS)
337
00:17:55,685 --> 00:17:57,312
Hi. (CLEARS THROAT)
338
00:17:57,395 --> 00:17:58,813
Here to see Chapman?
Yep.
339
00:17:58,896 --> 00:18:00,096
You two are such a cute couple.
340
00:18:00,148 --> 00:18:03,485
She's the cute one. I'm like
her furry sidekick. (CHUCKLES)
341
00:18:04,902 --> 00:18:06,195
Oh, um...
342
00:18:06,321 --> 00:18:08,323
Actually,
you can't see her today.
343
00:18:08,406 --> 00:18:09,574
Why not?
344
00:18:09,658 --> 00:18:11,951
She's had some
privileges revoked.
345
00:18:13,077 --> 00:18:15,622
She's in the Security Housing Unit.
The what?
346
00:18:15,705 --> 00:18:19,167
Solitary? (STUTTERS) She's in solitary?
What did she do?
347
00:18:20,042 --> 00:18:22,003
I'm sorry, I can't
tell you that. I don't...
348
00:18:22,086 --> 00:18:23,672
(STUTTERS)
This is ridiculous!
349
00:18:23,755 --> 00:18:25,340
I need to speak
with your manager,
350
00:18:25,423 --> 00:18:29,135
or your superior, whoever the
fuck is in charge here, please!
351
00:18:29,218 --> 00:18:31,346
Please don't swear at me. I can
give you a number to call...
352
00:18:31,471 --> 00:18:32,472
Is she okay?
353
00:18:32,555 --> 00:18:35,099
Can't I just see
her for a minute?
354
00:18:35,183 --> 00:18:37,560
I mean, it's a holiday,
for God's sake.
355
00:18:39,020 --> 00:18:44,359
Okay, can you at least give my phone
number to her counselor, Mr. Healy?
356
00:18:44,484 --> 00:18:47,445
Okay? And have him call me? Right
away, he needs to call me right away.
357
00:18:47,529 --> 00:18:49,656
Uh, I'm not allowed to...
Please.
358
00:18:49,739 --> 00:18:50,990
Please.
359
00:18:53,284 --> 00:18:54,536
I guess, maybe.
Thank you.
360
00:18:54,661 --> 00:18:55,995
Thank you!
361
00:18:56,078 --> 00:18:57,372
Do you have...
362
00:18:57,497 --> 00:18:58,748
Can I...
363
00:19:08,424 --> 00:19:09,425
I'll pass it along.
Okay.
364
00:19:09,551 --> 00:19:15,097
And if you see Piper, will you
tell her that I love her?
365
00:19:15,223 --> 00:19:18,100
Okay? And to call me.
Have her call me.
366
00:19:18,351 --> 00:19:23,439
And also (HALTINGLY)
that I love her.
367
00:19:25,233 --> 00:19:26,317
Okay.
368
00:19:28,152 --> 00:19:30,655
Happy Thanksgiving, Mr. Bloom.
369
00:19:31,072 --> 00:19:33,199
SHANNON: Motherfucker!
INMATE: Shut up!
370
00:19:33,282 --> 00:19:36,411
SHANNON: (BANGING) Motherfucker!
I'll kill you, motherfucker.
371
00:19:46,003 --> 00:19:49,006
SHANNON: I'll kill
all you motherfuckers!
372
00:19:51,593 --> 00:19:55,012
INMATE: (CRYING) I'm gonna kill
myself if I can't get out of here.
373
00:20:00,602 --> 00:20:02,019
(INMATE YELLING)
374
00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:13,823
(INMATE BANGING AND SHOUTING)
375
00:20:20,079 --> 00:20:22,540
(INMATE SCREAMING)
376
00:20:26,419 --> 00:20:29,464
My brother, Donny,
shot a turkey last year,
377
00:20:29,547 --> 00:20:33,301
but it weren't really a turkey.
It was a fucking bald eagle.
378
00:20:33,384 --> 00:20:34,385
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
379
00:20:34,469 --> 00:20:37,472
But he still shoved a Coors
Light up the damn thing's ass
380
00:20:37,597 --> 00:20:39,181
and put it on the grill.
(CHUCKLES)
381
00:20:39,307 --> 00:20:40,349
And proceeded to eat it.
382
00:20:40,475 --> 00:20:44,353
And when the ranger walked up, he had
the bird hanging out of his mouth.
383
00:20:44,479 --> 00:20:48,817
He took his ass right to jail. And
now he's in Federal, in Virginia.
384
00:20:48,900 --> 00:20:51,068
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
385
00:20:51,152 --> 00:20:52,361
Did it taste like chicken?
386
00:20:52,487 --> 00:20:54,280
No, it tasted like an eagle.
387
00:20:54,363 --> 00:20:56,365
(LEANNE CHUCKLES)
(PENNSATUCKY CAWS)
388
00:20:56,491 --> 00:20:58,075
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
389
00:20:58,159 --> 00:20:59,368
Was your brother smoking tina?
390
00:20:59,494 --> 00:21:00,662
He snorts Oxy now.
391
00:21:00,787 --> 00:21:02,246
Fuck you.
392
00:21:02,330 --> 00:21:04,290
What the...
Get the... The fuck!
393
00:21:04,373 --> 00:21:05,333
(YELPS)
394
00:21:05,458 --> 00:21:06,459
(SPITS)
395
00:21:06,542 --> 00:21:07,502
ALEX: Thanks
for last night, baby.
396
00:21:07,627 --> 00:21:10,964
That shit was amazing. Nobody's
ever licked my pussy like that.
397
00:21:11,046 --> 00:21:13,508
You are lying! I would
never touch this bitch!
398
00:21:13,591 --> 00:21:15,343
Hey, knock it off! You wanna
join your friend down the hill?
399
00:21:15,426 --> 00:21:17,011
PENNSATUCKY: You know,
you're going to hell!
400
00:21:17,136 --> 00:21:19,764
And you're gonna burn there
for the entire eternity!
401
00:21:19,848 --> 00:21:21,766
I'm already there.
BENNETT: Have a seat.
402
00:21:21,891 --> 00:21:23,685
(OPERA MUSIC
PLAYING ON STEREO)
403
00:21:24,059 --> 00:21:25,227
Taste it, Norma.
404
00:21:26,855 --> 00:21:28,189
(SLURPS)
What did I tell you?
405
00:21:28,314 --> 00:21:30,441
It's damn near perfect.
406
00:21:33,862 --> 00:21:37,031
Ladies! Listen up!
It's time to leave.
407
00:21:37,156 --> 00:21:41,118
Let's go! Everybody out, except for you.
You can stay.
408
00:21:41,202 --> 00:21:43,872
Let's go, Silent Bob.
That means you, too. Come on.
409
00:21:44,038 --> 00:21:46,040
It's okay, I'll take over.
410
00:21:48,501 --> 00:21:49,836
PORNSTACHE: Attagirl.
411
00:22:00,221 --> 00:22:01,556
(TURNS OFF STEREO)
412
00:22:15,904 --> 00:22:17,196
Where's my shit, Red?
413
00:22:17,697 --> 00:22:19,574
I don't know what
you're talking about.
414
00:22:19,657 --> 00:22:20,992
Really?
415
00:22:21,075 --> 00:22:23,452
Are you gonna make me look
through every box in here?
416
00:22:24,245 --> 00:22:26,748
How'd you do it?
You stopped the truck?
417
00:22:27,582 --> 00:22:28,750
Maybe.
418
00:22:29,584 --> 00:22:31,836
Or maybe I got it
from one of your girls.
419
00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:33,796
My girls
wouldn't tell you shit.
420
00:22:34,296 --> 00:22:35,297
Huh.
421
00:22:36,340 --> 00:22:38,091
You want your pills?
422
00:22:40,053 --> 00:22:42,095
You can go stick
your head in the toilet.
423
00:22:42,263 --> 00:22:44,348
There might be a few
still floating around.
424
00:22:53,441 --> 00:22:55,860
You listen to me,
you crazy cunt!
425
00:22:57,278 --> 00:23:01,449
The next time my shipment comes in,
you're gonna put it to the side,
426
00:23:01,657 --> 00:23:04,410
top shelf, in the walk-in.
427
00:23:05,494 --> 00:23:07,204
Tricia's in detox.
428
00:23:07,288 --> 00:23:09,958
I hear Caputo's
looking for her source.
429
00:23:10,083 --> 00:23:12,125
What would he think
of your little operation?
430
00:23:12,293 --> 00:23:14,295
You mean, your operation?
431
00:23:15,046 --> 00:23:18,049
All the contraband
comes through your kitchen.
432
00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:23,596
Looks like we're at
a Cold War stand-off, Ruskie.
433
00:23:24,263 --> 00:23:26,223
And I got
a bigger weapon than you.
434
00:23:28,267 --> 00:23:29,393
You wanna see it?
435
00:23:44,533 --> 00:23:45,701
(UNZIPS)
436
00:23:50,331 --> 00:23:52,165
(URINATING)
437
00:23:54,002 --> 00:23:56,004
(SIGHS)
438
00:24:03,845 --> 00:24:04,887
(ZIPS)
439
00:24:08,265 --> 00:24:11,393
Just a little something extra
for the holidays.
440
00:24:16,482 --> 00:24:20,862
Next time you fuck with my
stash, I'll end your life.
441
00:24:29,078 --> 00:24:30,203
(PHONE RINGING)
442
00:24:30,287 --> 00:24:31,288
MALE OPERATOR: Hello?
443
00:24:31,706 --> 00:24:33,624
Hi! Yes, hi.
444
00:24:34,709 --> 00:24:39,047
Hello, I am trying to reach the Executive
Assistant or the Assistant Warden, please.
445
00:24:39,172 --> 00:24:40,589
Sir, it's after duty hours.
446
00:24:41,256 --> 00:24:45,386
Okay. Yes. Look my wife
is in the solitary unit.
447
00:24:45,469 --> 00:24:47,388
Okay? She's being
held there illegally.
448
00:24:47,513 --> 00:24:50,558
Now, my father is a lawyer,
I know her rights.
449
00:24:50,641 --> 00:24:52,518
It's a holiday, sir.
450
00:24:52,601 --> 00:24:55,563
Exactly! That's exactly right!
I know it's a holiday.
451
00:24:55,688 --> 00:24:57,565
That's what makes
this so outrageous.
452
00:24:57,690 --> 00:24:58,890
You can call back on Monday...
453
00:24:58,941 --> 00:25:00,484
Would you please listen to me?
454
00:25:00,568 --> 00:25:02,695
Sir, please. Listen to me.
455
00:25:02,778 --> 00:25:05,322
I have left messages
for the Associate Warden,
456
00:25:05,406 --> 00:25:07,825
for the Public
Information's Officer,
457
00:25:07,909 --> 00:25:09,618
for the Department
of Corrections,
458
00:25:09,744 --> 00:25:11,453
for the fucking
Governor's office.
459
00:25:11,579 --> 00:25:12,538
Okay?
460
00:25:12,621 --> 00:25:16,333
If I don't get a call back
from somebody soon,
461
00:25:16,417 --> 00:25:19,921
you people are gonna have a fucking
lawsuit on your hands. Now...
462
00:25:20,046 --> 00:25:21,089
FEMALE VOICE: Hello,
you have reached
463
00:25:21,172 --> 00:25:23,298
the Federal Correctional
Institution in Litchfield.
464
00:25:23,424 --> 00:25:25,927
God! Fuck!
465
00:25:27,929 --> 00:25:30,514
Dude, that was really dramatic.
466
00:25:31,849 --> 00:25:32,850
(SIGHS)
467
00:25:35,061 --> 00:25:37,605
You know how much
Piper loves Thanksgiving.
468
00:25:37,688 --> 00:25:39,190
It is her favorite.
469
00:25:39,314 --> 00:25:40,775
Yeah, I don't know why.
470
00:25:40,900 --> 00:25:42,985
Had to wear a suit jacket.
Fucking toxic.
471
00:25:43,111 --> 00:25:44,831
You've been to Thanksgiving
with my parents.
472
00:25:44,862 --> 00:25:48,241
Yeah, no, I know, it's horrible.
She loves our Thanksgivings.
473
00:25:48,323 --> 00:25:50,451
Oh, in your parents' apartment?
474
00:25:51,119 --> 00:25:54,622
They go to South Beach.
They have gravy boats.
475
00:25:54,705 --> 00:25:56,665
A maid comes and cleans up
in the morning. Come on.
476
00:25:56,707 --> 00:26:01,087
They won't mind me using these awesome
tchotchkes for my table-scape, will they?
477
00:26:01,170 --> 00:26:02,630
We have to cancel.
478
00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:07,300
We have to cancel. You have
to cancel the whole thing.
479
00:26:07,426 --> 00:26:11,180
Cal, (STAMMERS) I can't
host people here, all right?
480
00:26:11,304 --> 00:26:15,143
Not under these circumstances. All right?
It does not feel right.
481
00:26:15,601 --> 00:26:19,105
No, yeah, you're right, man.
We should cancel.
482
00:26:20,397 --> 00:26:24,485
We'll cancel. We'll cover
the mirrors, sit shivah.
483
00:26:24,568 --> 00:26:27,655
It's what your
people do, right?
484
00:26:27,780 --> 00:26:29,991
It's when someone dies, Cal.
She's not dead.
485
00:26:30,116 --> 00:26:34,369
Exactly. Look,
I love my sister, dude.
486
00:26:34,495 --> 00:26:36,914
But she got herself
sent to the hoosegow.
487
00:26:36,998 --> 00:26:40,501
And now she's clearly pulled some other
shit to get herself into even more trouble.
488
00:26:40,584 --> 00:26:43,587
You have done everything
that you can do.
489
00:26:43,671 --> 00:26:47,340
And Piper would love the fact that
you're throwing Thanksgiving,
490
00:26:47,424 --> 00:26:51,679
our friends are coming,
the maid is coming tomorrow.
491
00:26:51,762 --> 00:26:57,518
And I've spent my entire life-savings
on this, this marvelous turkey.
492
00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:00,313
She'd want us to celebrate.
493
00:27:01,814 --> 00:27:03,356
I'm sure she's fine.
494
00:27:06,359 --> 00:27:07,569
(BANGING)
495
00:27:07,695 --> 00:27:09,280
(SHANNON SCREAMS)
496
00:27:13,408 --> 00:27:14,409
Chapman?
497
00:27:15,828 --> 00:27:17,205
Mr. Healy?
498
00:27:17,370 --> 00:27:18,371
How are you?
499
00:27:20,624 --> 00:27:23,211
I'm in a cement box
and people are screaming.
500
00:27:24,670 --> 00:27:27,798
You needed a little time-out
to think about your behavior.
501
00:27:28,174 --> 00:27:29,466
My what?
502
00:27:31,052 --> 00:27:32,720
I was dancing.
503
00:27:33,012 --> 00:27:35,556
Provocatively. Sexually.
504
00:27:35,639 --> 00:27:36,974
Gay sexually.
505
00:27:37,058 --> 00:27:39,894
This is illegal.
You can't keep me in here.
506
00:27:39,977 --> 00:27:41,896
See, there's where
you're wrong.
507
00:27:41,979 --> 00:27:44,023
Chapman, I tried
to be nice to you,
508
00:27:44,106 --> 00:27:46,275
because I understand
where you come from.
509
00:27:46,399 --> 00:27:47,735
You don't know me.
510
00:27:48,986 --> 00:27:50,738
I thought we could be friends.
511
00:27:51,488 --> 00:27:54,325
You're not yourself lately.
You're acting out.
512
00:27:54,407 --> 00:27:55,910
So you're teaching me a lesson?
513
00:27:56,035 --> 00:27:57,703
You should be thanking me.
514
00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:01,123
Alex Vause is sick.
515
00:28:01,790 --> 00:28:02,833
I get you.
516
00:28:03,959 --> 00:28:05,418
You're not like her.
517
00:28:08,172 --> 00:28:11,633
The only sicko here is you.
518
00:28:13,261 --> 00:28:15,179
And under different
circumstances, what?
519
00:28:16,597 --> 00:28:18,557
I'd be your girlfriend?
520
00:28:19,850 --> 00:28:20,893
Is that it?
521
00:28:22,435 --> 00:28:24,146
Did I make you jealous?
522
00:28:26,399 --> 00:28:30,903
You put me in this
hellhole for no reason.
523
00:28:31,820 --> 00:28:33,364
Wake up, Healy!
524
00:28:34,823 --> 00:28:36,367
Girls like me?
525
00:28:36,700 --> 00:28:41,872
We don't fuck ignorant, pretentious old
men with weird lesbian obsessions!
526
00:28:41,956 --> 00:28:45,376
We go for tall, hot girls,
527
00:28:46,877 --> 00:28:49,463
and we fucking love it!
528
00:28:51,132 --> 00:28:54,760
So that leaves
you on the outside,
529
00:28:54,843 --> 00:28:58,472
living your sad,
sad little life.
530
00:28:59,098 --> 00:29:02,143
You don't get me! Ever!
531
00:29:04,270 --> 00:29:06,063
So go fuck yourself!
532
00:29:08,816 --> 00:29:10,985
Happy Thanksgiving, Chapman.
533
00:29:16,324 --> 00:29:19,952
SHANNON:
Fuck you, motherfucker!
534
00:29:31,797 --> 00:29:33,632
Where's my mattress?
535
00:29:34,342 --> 00:29:36,177
Where the fuck is my mattress?
What did you do to it?
536
00:29:36,260 --> 00:29:37,261
(SNORTS)
537
00:29:40,306 --> 00:29:42,016
Oh, fucking crackhead.
538
00:29:52,401 --> 00:29:54,569
My bunkie stole my mattress.
539
00:29:54,695 --> 00:29:55,904
Yeah. And?
540
00:29:56,864 --> 00:29:58,615
It's gone. It's not there.
541
00:29:58,740 --> 00:29:59,825
Then how do you
know it was stolen?
542
00:29:59,908 --> 00:30:01,952
Because it's not on my bed,
543
00:30:02,036 --> 00:30:03,745
and she and her hick friend
have been fucking with me.
544
00:30:03,871 --> 00:30:04,830
I need a new one.
545
00:30:04,913 --> 00:30:08,042
Okay, we issue one mattress per inmate.
You can fill out a form.
546
00:30:08,125 --> 00:30:10,169
It'll take a couple
weeks to replace it.
547
00:30:10,252 --> 00:30:13,172
And what am I supposed to do in the meantime?
Sleep on the frame?
548
00:30:13,255 --> 00:30:15,883
It's probably good for you. A hard
surface aligns the vertebrae.
549
00:30:15,966 --> 00:30:17,885
Your body will thank you.
Excuse me.
550
00:30:20,721 --> 00:30:22,390
(LOUD ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
551
00:30:22,473 --> 00:30:23,557
Who are you?
552
00:30:25,976 --> 00:30:27,102
I'm Alex.
553
00:30:29,855 --> 00:30:31,148
I'm your daughter.
554
00:30:36,862 --> 00:30:38,197
Holy shit.
555
00:30:43,369 --> 00:30:44,578
How'd you find me?
556
00:30:44,703 --> 00:30:49,166
Well, I saw the show. And then
the manager sent me back here.
557
00:30:50,251 --> 00:30:52,420
Oh, you saw that shit?
That was embarrassing.
558
00:30:52,503 --> 00:30:55,339
We can't even fill
a fucking basement anymore.
559
00:30:55,423 --> 00:30:58,050
If one more jerk-off asks me
to play Dirty Girl...
560
00:30:58,133 --> 00:31:00,386
I wish I had never
written that fucking song.
561
00:31:00,553 --> 00:31:03,847
It is a great song.
That is still a great song.
562
00:31:03,931 --> 00:31:05,349
Shut up, Lonnie.
563
00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:07,809
We're supposed to be in Philly,
564
00:31:07,935 --> 00:31:10,979
but Jimmy over here punched
the booking agent in the neck.
565
00:31:13,482 --> 00:31:16,944
I can't believe you're my kid, man!
You're my kid!
566
00:31:18,446 --> 00:31:20,197
I'm so happy to see you.
567
00:31:21,282 --> 00:31:22,616
Yeah. Me, too.
568
00:31:22,741 --> 00:31:25,827
'Cause I would've never recognized
you in a million years.
569
00:31:27,496 --> 00:31:29,164
And you got a serious
rack on you, too.
570
00:31:29,290 --> 00:31:31,875
I mean, I could have
accidentally fucked her, right?
571
00:31:31,959 --> 00:31:33,085
But that would have been bad.
572
00:31:33,168 --> 00:31:36,505
No. Seriously,
that's twisted.
573
00:31:36,630 --> 00:31:37,965
I didn't say that.
574
00:31:39,049 --> 00:31:40,801
Um, is there a bathroom?
575
00:31:41,260 --> 00:31:43,140
Is there a bathroom?
(CHUCKLING) It's down there.
576
00:31:43,262 --> 00:31:44,388
Right. Thank you.
577
00:31:46,807 --> 00:31:48,100
LONNIE: Her rack?
578
00:31:48,183 --> 00:31:49,893
That would've been fucked up.
579
00:31:49,977 --> 00:31:51,520
Wow.
580
00:31:51,853 --> 00:31:53,481
LONNIE: (LAUGHING)
Her fucking rack.
581
00:31:59,653 --> 00:32:00,654
(SIGHS)
582
00:32:00,779 --> 00:32:02,156
(SNIFFLING)
583
00:32:20,882 --> 00:32:22,510
Jesus, you scared me.
584
00:32:22,676 --> 00:32:24,011
You okay?
585
00:32:24,178 --> 00:32:27,515
I'm fine.
I'm just gonna go home.
586
00:32:28,349 --> 00:32:30,184
He's not what you thought.
587
00:32:34,021 --> 00:32:35,439
It's fucking depressing.
(SCOFFS)
588
00:32:36,231 --> 00:32:38,900
Been imagining this moment
your whole life?
589
00:32:42,112 --> 00:32:44,031
I had this white
fringe pleather jacket
590
00:32:44,156 --> 00:32:46,074
I always thought I'd
wear if I ever met him.
591
00:32:46,908 --> 00:32:49,828
Nice, pleather.
(CHUCKLES) What happened?
592
00:32:51,872 --> 00:32:53,165
You're right.
593
00:32:55,042 --> 00:32:57,085
Maybe that would've
made the difference.
594
00:32:58,879 --> 00:33:02,757
Most people are
better in the abstract.
595
00:33:04,635 --> 00:33:06,094
It's Alex, right?
596
00:33:08,055 --> 00:33:09,056
Yeah.
597
00:33:09,181 --> 00:33:10,182
Fahri.
598
00:33:12,601 --> 00:33:13,727
You want a bump?
599
00:33:13,852 --> 00:33:15,563
(CHUCKLES) No, thanks.
600
00:33:15,646 --> 00:33:17,022
Smart girl.
601
00:33:18,857 --> 00:33:21,026
Fahri, what are you doing
hanging out with these losers?
602
00:33:22,277 --> 00:33:23,278
Uh...
603
00:33:23,987 --> 00:33:25,531
They're my clients.
604
00:33:27,616 --> 00:33:28,783
What do you do?
605
00:33:28,909 --> 00:33:31,620
I work for an international
drug cartel.
606
00:33:31,745 --> 00:33:33,080
(LAUGHS)
607
00:33:33,664 --> 00:33:34,665
Right.
608
00:33:38,001 --> 00:33:39,253
(GROANS)
609
00:33:43,674 --> 00:33:45,634
Will you get Gloria?
I'm dying.
610
00:33:48,554 --> 00:33:49,971
You're not dying.
611
00:33:50,764 --> 00:33:52,057
Here.
612
00:33:52,558 --> 00:33:56,937
Serves you right for drinking some stupid
potion from some half-assed santera.
613
00:33:57,062 --> 00:33:58,355
Who told you?
614
00:33:58,480 --> 00:33:59,773
She told me.
615
00:33:59,898 --> 00:34:03,026
So I told her to give you
some roots and berries.
616
00:34:03,110 --> 00:34:05,946
Make you shit your brains out
and learn your lesson.
617
00:34:06,029 --> 00:34:08,949
So the tea was bullshit?
It's not gonna work?
618
00:34:09,199 --> 00:34:11,952
You think I'm gonna let you
ice my grandbaby?
619
00:34:12,661 --> 00:34:14,246
You want me to end up like you?
620
00:34:14,329 --> 00:34:16,290
I'm already in prison.
621
00:34:16,373 --> 00:34:20,127
All I need is five different baby
daddies and an ass tattoo of a dog.
622
00:34:20,252 --> 00:34:21,670
It's a wolf.
623
00:34:25,674 --> 00:34:27,801
Daya, I made mistakes, okay?
624
00:34:27,884 --> 00:34:30,387
I didn't have nobody
teaching me what to do.
625
00:34:30,512 --> 00:34:32,139
Oh, get away from me.
626
00:34:33,098 --> 00:34:34,618
Maybe I'm not
the mother of the year...
627
00:34:34,642 --> 00:34:35,976
Oh, you think?
628
00:34:36,101 --> 00:34:38,822
But at least I put something into
this world that could still be good.
629
00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:40,648
I made something.
630
00:34:41,856 --> 00:34:46,945
I fucked up my own life,
but Eva, Lucy and Christina,
631
00:34:47,028 --> 00:34:51,158
Emiliano, even you
could still be something.
632
00:34:52,493 --> 00:34:54,328
Babies give you hope.
633
00:35:30,197 --> 00:35:31,198
Fuck.
634
00:35:31,323 --> 00:35:33,033
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
635
00:35:53,679 --> 00:35:54,847
Oh, my God.
636
00:35:57,349 --> 00:35:58,809
There's mold.
637
00:36:02,229 --> 00:36:04,398
There's mold on the bologna.
638
00:36:05,315 --> 00:36:06,734
Oh, my God.
639
00:36:08,360 --> 00:36:09,778
VOICE: I found a maggot.
640
00:36:18,245 --> 00:36:19,454
Hello?
641
00:36:22,708 --> 00:36:24,167
Is someone there?
642
00:36:25,669 --> 00:36:26,920
VOICE: Are you real?
643
00:36:28,922 --> 00:36:32,342
Yes. Yes, I'm real.
Are you real?
644
00:36:34,845 --> 00:36:36,304
VOICE: I don't know.
645
00:36:39,182 --> 00:36:42,185
I'm gonna take a bus
all the way to the Bronx.
646
00:36:42,269 --> 00:36:43,771
Right to Angelo's Pizza
647
00:36:43,896 --> 00:36:45,731
and I'm gonna get a giant
slice with the works.
648
00:36:45,814 --> 00:36:48,024
But just one, because after,
649
00:36:48,108 --> 00:36:51,069
we're gonna have a big old Thanksgiving
at my cousin, Neicey, house,
650
00:36:51,152 --> 00:36:54,698
and we probably gonna go out
dancing at the Monte Carlo Room,
651
00:36:54,782 --> 00:36:57,451
and I'ma order
a Sex on the Beach
652
00:36:57,576 --> 00:37:00,245
with 10 maraschino
cherries in it.
653
00:37:00,454 --> 00:37:02,790
And some man
gonna buy it for me.
654
00:37:02,915 --> 00:37:04,499
(BOTH LAUGH)
655
00:37:06,919 --> 00:37:08,629
Well, that sounds like a plan.
656
00:37:10,756 --> 00:37:12,466
You know,
ain't no one on the outside
657
00:37:12,549 --> 00:37:14,259
gonna do my 'do
for a can of Pepsi.
658
00:37:14,968 --> 00:37:16,470
Which you still
owe me, by the way.
659
00:37:16,553 --> 00:37:17,554
(CHUCKLES)
660
00:37:17,930 --> 00:37:20,056
Jefferson, they're releasing
you now. Van's leaving.
661
00:37:20,891 --> 00:37:23,977
Right now?
I gotta say my goodbyes.
662
00:37:24,102 --> 00:37:27,272
It's a holiday. COs wanna go
home and see their families.
663
00:37:27,355 --> 00:37:31,067
If you don't go now, you're not
getting out till Monday. Let's go.
664
00:37:32,444 --> 00:37:33,987
Yo! Where's Poussey at?
665
00:37:35,029 --> 00:37:36,740
Jefferson! Now.
666
00:37:45,206 --> 00:37:47,960
What the fuck? What the fuck?
They already took her?
667
00:37:48,042 --> 00:37:49,377
I didn't even say goodbye.
668
00:37:51,171 --> 00:37:54,716
Taystee! Yo!
(BANGING) Tays!
669
00:37:55,049 --> 00:37:56,969
She can't hear you.
670
00:37:57,051 --> 00:37:58,052
(BANGING)
671
00:38:02,349 --> 00:38:03,350
(CHUCKLES)
672
00:38:04,434 --> 00:38:06,770
(INMATES CHUCKLING)
673
00:38:18,866 --> 00:38:19,992
POLLY: Hello?
Hello!
674
00:38:20,074 --> 00:38:21,201
PETE: Hello! Whoo-hoo!
Hi!
675
00:38:21,284 --> 00:38:24,663
Come in, new family. (KISSES)
Hello, happy Thanksgiving.
676
00:38:24,788 --> 00:38:26,874
Ooh, your parents have a nice place.
Yeah.
677
00:38:26,999 --> 00:38:28,000
Cal!
Hi.
678
00:38:28,082 --> 00:38:29,877
Hi. Do you know Pete?
Mmm-mmm. No.
679
00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:31,378
And this is Finn.
680
00:38:33,171 --> 00:38:34,381
Wow.
681
00:38:34,882 --> 00:38:36,132
He looks like Steve Buscemi.
682
00:38:36,675 --> 00:38:38,218
Congratulations, man.
683
00:38:38,301 --> 00:38:40,012
PETE: Gotta wash
your hands first.
684
00:38:40,136 --> 00:38:41,179
LARRY: Isn't that
just to touch the baby?
685
00:38:41,262 --> 00:38:43,682
And to touch me, too.
Polly's being a total nutter.
686
00:38:43,765 --> 00:38:46,393
If it were up to Pete, he'd let him
suck on the bottom of his shoe.
687
00:38:46,518 --> 00:38:48,520
I hope you guys don't mind,
but we brought a stray.
688
00:38:48,603 --> 00:38:51,398
Larry, this is our friend, Maury.
Hi.
689
00:38:51,940 --> 00:38:53,650
Yeah, Maury Kind.
690
00:38:53,734 --> 00:38:56,319
I'm sorry, you're not a stray.
You're Maury Kind from NPR!
691
00:38:56,403 --> 00:38:58,321
Guilty.
Oh, my God, I love you.
692
00:38:58,405 --> 00:39:01,825
I love your show. I mean, I love...
(STUTTERS) I love you.
693
00:39:01,909 --> 00:39:03,189
(CHUCKLES) Thank you.
POLLY: Wow.
694
00:39:03,243 --> 00:39:04,244
Back off, Larry.
LARRY: Sorry, sorry.
695
00:39:04,369 --> 00:39:06,849
Where should we put our stuff? Put
it in the kitchen, follow me.
696
00:39:06,914 --> 00:39:08,415
You come meet my girlfriend!
697
00:39:08,540 --> 00:39:11,960
Don't get in her way, Cal!
She's got an angry, red vagina
698
00:39:12,085 --> 00:39:14,421
and she's been drinking rum
punch since 10:00 a.m.
699
00:39:14,546 --> 00:39:15,923
Thank God we pumped.
700
00:39:16,423 --> 00:39:18,842
I cannot believe you
brought Maury Kind.
701
00:39:18,926 --> 00:39:21,428
Yeah, I'm mixing
sound on Urban Tales.
702
00:39:21,511 --> 00:39:23,764
He's going through a divorce,
so I invited him.
703
00:39:23,847 --> 00:39:25,724
I didn't know
you'd geek out so hard.
704
00:39:25,849 --> 00:39:27,726
You know,
I'd love to talk to him.
705
00:39:28,518 --> 00:39:29,937
Well, it'd be weird
if you didn't.
706
00:39:30,020 --> 00:39:32,731
Besides, he read your "Modern
Love" column and loved it.
707
00:39:32,814 --> 00:39:34,691
Stop it. Seriously?
Uh-huh.
708
00:39:35,525 --> 00:39:36,526
Holy shit.
709
00:39:36,610 --> 00:39:37,694
PETE: Hey!
710
00:39:37,778 --> 00:39:38,862
Your language.
711
00:39:38,987 --> 00:39:40,113
Huh? Sorry.
712
00:39:40,196 --> 00:39:41,197
Shh.
713
00:39:41,281 --> 00:39:42,407
PIPER: What an asshole.
714
00:39:43,366 --> 00:39:48,329
I cannot believe people like him
are even allowed to work here.
715
00:39:48,622 --> 00:39:52,793
They take these insecure,
and frustrated men
716
00:39:52,918 --> 00:39:55,128
and they put them in charge
of a bunch of powerless women
717
00:39:55,211 --> 00:39:58,715
and they become
these predatory creeps.
718
00:39:58,799 --> 00:40:04,096
I mean, all of that condescending "I
know what's best for you" bullshit.
719
00:40:04,721 --> 00:40:07,390
VOICE: You can rage,
but they always win.
720
00:40:08,809 --> 00:40:10,102
They're the ones with the keys.
721
00:40:11,812 --> 00:40:13,730
How long have
you been down here?
722
00:40:14,731 --> 00:40:17,317
I've lost track.
I don't know.
723
00:40:17,985 --> 00:40:19,402
Nine months?
724
00:40:19,861 --> 00:40:21,237
A year?
725
00:40:23,490 --> 00:40:24,866
A year?
726
00:40:27,953 --> 00:40:29,329
That's insane.
727
00:40:29,412 --> 00:40:33,708
VOICE: They keep the lights on,
so you lose all sense of time.
728
00:40:33,834 --> 00:40:34,960
It's not living.
729
00:40:35,043 --> 00:40:36,795
I mean, yeah, you're breathing,
730
00:40:36,878 --> 00:40:38,713
but you ain't a person no more.
731
00:40:38,839 --> 00:40:43,301
It's bad. You start to
see shit that ain't there.
732
00:40:44,552 --> 00:40:45,804
You start to hear voices.
733
00:40:45,887 --> 00:40:47,639
Oh, my God.
734
00:40:48,348 --> 00:40:50,558
They keep you here
till they break you.
735
00:40:50,851 --> 00:40:51,852
(GULPS)
736
00:40:51,935 --> 00:40:53,561
I feel like I'm gonna throw up.
737
00:40:56,690 --> 00:40:58,358
Why did I do that?
738
00:41:00,193 --> 00:41:01,903
Why did I say those things?
739
00:41:04,489 --> 00:41:07,200
He's never going to
let me out of here.
740
00:41:09,036 --> 00:41:12,164
I am so fucking stupid.
741
00:41:12,914 --> 00:41:16,877
I am so fucking stupid!
742
00:41:17,335 --> 00:41:19,129
What's wrong with me?
743
00:41:19,212 --> 00:41:20,547
(SOBBING)
744
00:41:22,007 --> 00:41:23,591
VOICE: You still there?
745
00:41:30,807 --> 00:41:35,562
I swear to God that if
they let me out of here...
746
00:41:42,610 --> 00:41:44,196
I will shut up.
747
00:41:44,696 --> 00:41:49,910
I will shut up and I will put my
head down and I will do my time
748
00:41:49,993 --> 00:41:55,165
and I'll smile at Healy and I
(CRYING) won't go near her.
749
00:41:55,415 --> 00:41:57,542
I won't even look at her.
750
00:41:57,625 --> 00:42:01,421
I can do that.
I can do that. I can.
751
00:42:02,714 --> 00:42:04,091
Please.
752
00:42:06,634 --> 00:42:08,762
Please don't leave me here.
753
00:42:10,889 --> 00:42:12,099
Please.
754
00:42:13,349 --> 00:42:16,477
Hey, Vause, I know you're not
working, but can I get my bag?
755
00:42:16,603 --> 00:42:17,771
Yeah, just give me a sec.
756
00:42:17,896 --> 00:42:19,773
What happened to your glasses?
757
00:42:19,898 --> 00:42:21,978
(MIMICKING PENNSATUCKY)
Smashed in the name of Jesus.
758
00:42:22,025 --> 00:42:24,111
Oh, shit. Pennsatucky?
759
00:42:24,277 --> 00:42:27,114
Wow, you guys have
released the kraken.
760
00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:30,075
She's decided it's her Christian
duty to annihilate me.
761
00:42:30,158 --> 00:42:32,452
Because I'm a "privileged
rich girl." (SCOFFS)
762
00:42:32,911 --> 00:42:36,873
Which is hilarious, because those types of
girls tortured me my whole fucking life.
763
00:42:37,958 --> 00:42:40,085
If you and I had
met in fifth grade,
764
00:42:40,210 --> 00:42:42,336
you'd have made
fun of my clothes.
765
00:42:42,629 --> 00:42:44,172
(LAUGHS)
Who, me?
766
00:42:44,297 --> 00:42:46,216
No, no, no, no. I would never.
767
00:42:46,258 --> 00:42:48,551
You look terrific.
(SIGHS) Fuck!
768
00:42:48,635 --> 00:42:49,803
(NICKY CHUCKLES)
769
00:42:51,679 --> 00:42:53,056
I know what you were like.
770
00:42:53,140 --> 00:42:58,770
Upper West Side, doorman building,
skiing in Jackson Hole.
771
00:42:59,146 --> 00:43:00,188
Am I wrong?
772
00:43:00,313 --> 00:43:02,149
Who told you that shit?
No one.
773
00:43:03,399 --> 00:43:06,027
My business was built on
sniffing out girls like you
774
00:43:06,153 --> 00:43:07,862
and turning 'em into
drug mules.
775
00:43:07,988 --> 00:43:10,657
I knew it. You're a pimp.
776
00:43:10,824 --> 00:43:12,826
Man, you would've been perfect.
777
00:43:13,493 --> 00:43:16,788
Little Nicky at 19? Mmm! I would've
turned you out in two seconds.
778
00:43:16,871 --> 00:43:19,249
I'd make a terrible mule. I
would've done all your drugs.
779
00:43:19,332 --> 00:43:20,333
(ALEX CHUCKLES)
780
00:43:20,416 --> 00:43:23,503
Besides, okay, what makes you think
I would've fallen for your shit?
781
00:43:24,545 --> 00:43:27,215
Well, you grew up rich, so
you're used to easy money.
782
00:43:27,299 --> 00:43:30,177
You have enough stamps in your
passport to avoid suspicion.
783
00:43:30,260 --> 00:43:32,512
You hate your parents.
Yeah, totally.
784
00:43:32,595 --> 00:43:34,472
You're in your
experimental phase.
785
00:43:34,555 --> 00:43:36,390
All you wanna do is fuck
a woman or black guy,
786
00:43:36,516 --> 00:43:38,392
have some adventure...
Hmm. (CHUCKLES)
787
00:43:38,518 --> 00:43:40,353
...and still be able
to afford a Birkin bag.
788
00:43:40,561 --> 00:43:42,189
Shit, I'm in!
(CHUCKLES)
789
00:43:42,272 --> 00:43:43,356
Fuck it. You know me.
790
00:43:43,523 --> 00:43:45,108
Sign me up.
791
00:43:45,775 --> 00:43:47,194
Oh, was that who Piper was?
792
00:43:48,569 --> 00:43:50,530
No, no, Piper was different.
793
00:43:50,697 --> 00:43:51,865
Why? 'Cause you loved her?
794
00:43:54,159 --> 00:43:55,660
Because she was different.
795
00:43:58,830 --> 00:44:00,040
Get some glue, pimp.
796
00:44:02,458 --> 00:44:04,711
(SIGHS) Fuck.
797
00:44:08,464 --> 00:44:11,301
Crystal is in love
with her pastor.
798
00:44:11,384 --> 00:44:13,220
Ah. (CLICKS TONGUE)
799
00:44:13,345 --> 00:44:15,055
I'm not surprised.
800
00:44:15,889 --> 00:44:19,517
A lot of women lust after their
pastors, it's very common.
801
00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:23,938
And pastors can do that. Priests
have to learn to bounce their eyes.
802
00:44:24,397 --> 00:44:25,899
Um, what's that?
803
00:44:26,024 --> 00:44:30,195
You never stay focused on a member
of the opposite sex for too long.
804
00:44:30,570 --> 00:44:32,906
That's how I watch
every Russell Crowe movie.
805
00:44:32,989 --> 00:44:33,990
(CHUCKLES)
806
00:44:37,077 --> 00:44:38,411
She wants my blessing.
807
00:44:39,620 --> 00:44:40,830
Then you should give it to her.
808
00:44:40,955 --> 00:44:42,207
Why?
809
00:44:44,458 --> 00:44:46,378
I don't understand
why she needs to have sex.
810
00:44:46,460 --> 00:44:48,420
I mean, (CHUCKLES) look at you.
811
00:44:49,172 --> 00:44:50,882
I'm a nun, I took a vow.
812
00:44:50,965 --> 00:44:52,633
She married a man
with a penis, I assume
813
00:44:52,759 --> 00:44:54,426
because she wanted to
use it occasionally.
814
00:44:55,469 --> 00:44:58,723
(SIGHS) How much
time do you have left?
815
00:44:59,266 --> 00:45:01,851
(SIGHS) Three years,
eight months.
816
00:45:02,518 --> 00:45:05,230
You got what you needed at a
pretty big cost to your family.
817
00:45:05,313 --> 00:45:07,274
This is what she needs.
818
00:45:07,941 --> 00:45:10,442
Doesn't Crystal
deserve some happiness?
819
00:45:11,111 --> 00:45:12,862
Let her go.
820
00:45:13,780 --> 00:45:14,989
I can't.
821
00:45:15,115 --> 00:45:17,200
It's the right thing to do.
822
00:45:19,244 --> 00:45:20,954
(GUESTS LAUGHING
AND CHATTERING)
823
00:45:21,079 --> 00:45:22,839
POLLY: Did you want
some more sweet potatoes?
824
00:45:28,295 --> 00:45:29,879
So, Neri, what do you do?
825
00:45:30,046 --> 00:45:31,756
I'm a hyperbaric welder.
826
00:45:31,839 --> 00:45:35,676
Yeah, I used to work on the pipelines,
but now I just normal weld.
827
00:45:36,510 --> 00:45:38,221
Isn't she a badass?
(CHUCKLES)
828
00:45:38,346 --> 00:45:40,807
We met when I was
fabricating some sculptures.
829
00:45:40,890 --> 00:45:44,269
Hmm, I have so many burn scars,
Cal and I are naming them.
830
00:45:44,352 --> 00:45:48,689
Oh, oh! Speaking of scars, how was it?
The whole birth thing?
831
00:45:48,815 --> 00:45:49,855
Did you eat your placenta?
832
00:45:49,899 --> 00:45:51,651
No. We passed on that.
833
00:45:51,776 --> 00:45:54,570
CAL: Oh, it's really good
for you. Crazy nutrients.
834
00:45:54,654 --> 00:45:58,741
People dehydrate it and make it into
pills, but that's the expensive way.
835
00:45:58,825 --> 00:46:01,202
I always just thought you
could, like, scramble it up.
836
00:46:01,328 --> 00:46:04,872
(CHUCKLES) Just, like, put it in a pan
with some salt and pepper. (POPS)
837
00:46:04,998 --> 00:46:08,418
Bam! It sounds gross,
but possibly delicious.
838
00:46:08,500 --> 00:46:09,836
Throw some sage in there, too.
839
00:46:10,837 --> 00:46:13,298
Do you still have it?
I don't.
840
00:46:13,465 --> 00:46:15,842
Pete, you're
dropping food on his head.
841
00:46:16,801 --> 00:46:21,014
So, yeah, you know, we both decided
to stick it out, you know.
842
00:46:21,097 --> 00:46:26,019
I mean, it hasn't been easy, but, you
know, relationships are not easy.
843
00:46:26,102 --> 00:46:27,061
Right?
Right. Yeah.
844
00:46:27,187 --> 00:46:30,190
Well, I thought your column was
an interesting perspective.
845
00:46:30,273 --> 00:46:32,192
You know,
the long-suffering husband.
846
00:46:32,317 --> 00:46:34,194
Fiance.
847
00:46:34,319 --> 00:46:36,528
I mean, I didn't really mean
for it to come off that way.
848
00:46:36,654 --> 00:46:38,365
No. No, no, no,
it was very entertaining.
849
00:46:38,739 --> 00:46:40,741
Thank you... Yeah.
Yeah.
850
00:46:40,867 --> 00:46:43,119
Well, I'm a big fan of yours.
I mean... Oh, well.
851
00:46:43,203 --> 00:46:45,830
Yeah, I love your show and...
852
00:46:45,913 --> 00:46:49,541
I was just listening
to the one on road trips.
853
00:46:49,709 --> 00:46:52,795
Cal, the turkey is amazing.
854
00:46:52,879 --> 00:46:55,798
It's perfectly cooked. Thanks, man.
It's a heritage bird.
855
00:46:55,965 --> 00:46:57,800
Actually, Maury, um...
856
00:46:57,925 --> 00:46:59,093
(STUTTERS)
857
00:46:59,219 --> 00:47:04,556
I was thinking that my story
would work really well aloud.
858
00:47:04,932 --> 00:47:07,060
Right. You know, 'cause
I consider myself
859
00:47:07,185 --> 00:47:09,687
a much better
verbal storyteller.
860
00:47:09,770 --> 00:47:10,813
Right. You know, I don't
know if you ever...
861
00:47:10,897 --> 00:47:13,233
Cal, what is a heritage...
I'm sorry, what was that?
862
00:47:13,316 --> 00:47:18,612
Sorry. No, I didn't know if you ever were
open to maybe doing a prison episode.
863
00:47:18,738 --> 00:47:21,408
You know, if you ever
had guests like me on.
864
00:47:22,283 --> 00:47:24,536
Yeah. The thing is, if we
wanted to document prison,
865
00:47:24,618 --> 00:47:27,372
we'd probably talk
to actual inmates.
866
00:47:27,455 --> 00:47:31,418
And if we were gonna do a story about
someone whose loved one was in prison,
867
00:47:31,501 --> 00:47:33,920
we'd find a more
representative example.
868
00:47:34,003 --> 00:47:36,756
Cycle of poverty,
that sort of thing.
869
00:47:37,006 --> 00:47:41,677
Right. Yeah, no, that... (STUTTERS) I get...
That makes sense. I get it.
870
00:47:41,886 --> 00:47:48,600
But we are working on a show about
unique long-distance relationships.
871
00:47:49,018 --> 00:47:51,479
You know, a guy who works
down on the ice every year,
872
00:47:51,603 --> 00:47:53,189
a pair of married missionaries.
873
00:47:53,273 --> 00:47:54,606
Your story could
be good on that.
874
00:47:54,732 --> 00:47:56,443
Really?
Yeah.
875
00:47:57,318 --> 00:47:58,986
Wow. Yeah. I mean...
876
00:47:59,112 --> 00:48:01,281
Wow, I would love that.
877
00:48:01,406 --> 00:48:03,241
I mean, I would love
to do that.
878
00:48:03,324 --> 00:48:04,492
CAL: Hey, toast!
NERI: Yes!
879
00:48:04,616 --> 00:48:06,453
CAL: Toast.
PETE: Cheers.
880
00:48:06,536 --> 00:48:08,371
Happy Thanksgiving.
Happy Thanksgiving.
881
00:48:08,455 --> 00:48:09,456
Eye contact.
882
00:48:10,748 --> 00:48:12,750
(R&B MUSIC PLAYING)
883
00:48:20,133 --> 00:48:22,469
(INMATES CHATTERING)
884
00:48:26,306 --> 00:48:27,932
BIG BOO: No gravy?
885
00:48:28,433 --> 00:48:29,976
Why is there no gravy?
886
00:48:30,059 --> 00:48:31,685
You complaining?
887
00:48:32,312 --> 00:48:34,688
Uh... No, ma'am.
No, no, no.
888
00:48:34,814 --> 00:48:36,648
Come on, Little Boo.
Let's not complain.
889
00:48:36,774 --> 00:48:39,651
I don't know why you threw it out. I tried it.
It tasted great to me.
890
00:48:44,449 --> 00:48:49,162
I'm thankful for my health,
for my strong body and mind.
891
00:48:49,245 --> 00:48:52,332
And for you girls,
who remind me every day
892
00:48:52,457 --> 00:48:55,209
that self-forgiveness
is possible.
893
00:48:56,544 --> 00:48:57,711
Hmm.
894
00:48:57,837 --> 00:49:00,089
I'm thankful that Taystee got
the fuck out of this dump.
895
00:49:00,173 --> 00:49:01,633
Yeah, I'll second that.
896
00:49:01,799 --> 00:49:04,760
I'm thankful for my
new bitch, Little Boo.
897
00:49:04,844 --> 00:49:07,347
Sit, hooker. Ah! Good girl.
(CHUCKLES)
898
00:49:07,430 --> 00:49:08,848
There you go.
899
00:49:08,931 --> 00:49:09,974
(INMATES CHUCKLE)
900
00:49:10,766 --> 00:49:13,126
Oh, and, of course, I'm thankful
for all y'all other bitches.
901
00:49:13,186 --> 00:49:14,437
(INMATES CHUCKLE)
902
00:49:14,521 --> 00:49:16,189
Do you wanna say grace, Sister?
903
00:49:18,858 --> 00:49:20,360
I trust in the Lord
904
00:49:20,485 --> 00:49:24,947
with all my heart and lean
not on my own understanding.
905
00:49:26,533 --> 00:49:27,618
Amen.
906
00:49:27,699 --> 00:49:29,076
Amen.
907
00:49:29,202 --> 00:49:30,828
POUSSEY: Amen.
908
00:49:35,667 --> 00:49:37,251
Man, it sucks to
get glasses replaced,
909
00:49:37,377 --> 00:49:39,879
you have to get someone on the outside
to fill your prescription. (SCOFFS)
910
00:49:40,046 --> 00:49:41,172
How blind are you?
911
00:49:42,173 --> 00:49:43,424
Blindish.
912
00:49:44,676 --> 00:49:46,886
Bright side, you can't see
the color of these potatoes.
913
00:49:47,011 --> 00:49:48,012
(CHUCKLES)
914
00:49:52,016 --> 00:49:54,561
It doesn't feel right to be
eating while she's in there.
915
00:49:54,686 --> 00:49:58,231
Straight girls. (SCOFFS) They'll
fuck you up every time.
916
00:50:24,924 --> 00:50:27,801
(INMATE SCREAMS)
917
00:50:42,525 --> 00:50:44,318
(SPITS)
918
00:50:48,030 --> 00:50:49,282
Hey!
919
00:50:50,658 --> 00:50:51,951
Hey. (KNOCKS)
920
00:50:52,285 --> 00:50:54,454
Did you get this loaf thing?
(KNOCKS)
921
00:50:56,289 --> 00:50:59,959
Looks like three different dinners
mushed together into a mound.
922
00:51:00,668 --> 00:51:02,002
Are you looking at it?
923
00:51:05,465 --> 00:51:06,633
Hello?
924
00:51:07,799 --> 00:51:09,009
Can you hear me?
925
00:51:16,142 --> 00:51:18,185
Please tell me that
you're still there.
926
00:51:22,273 --> 00:51:23,316
CAPUTO: You can't
leave her in there.
927
00:51:23,399 --> 00:51:25,485
I don't know what the hell she's
doing in Seg in the first place.
928
00:51:25,610 --> 00:51:29,280
Christ, even Mendez
said it was uncalled for
929
00:51:29,363 --> 00:51:31,324
and that guy lives
to throw people in the box.
930
00:51:31,407 --> 00:51:33,200
You're not my boss.
Today I am.
931
00:51:33,326 --> 00:51:34,661
Fig is on vacation.
932
00:51:34,744 --> 00:51:40,750
And I am telling you I don't have the
write-ups or the paperwork to support it.
933
00:51:40,832 --> 00:51:43,919
She got under your skin, Sam.
This is personal.
934
00:51:44,044 --> 00:51:46,547
She thinks she's
running the place.
935
00:51:46,798 --> 00:51:49,008
You don't have to tell me that.
936
00:51:49,509 --> 00:51:53,179
Her fiance is raising a stink bigger
than the shit I took this morning.
937
00:51:53,304 --> 00:51:55,807
Christ, he's probably got the
Obamas on the phone by now.
938
00:51:55,889 --> 00:51:58,810
These liberal, wealthy
offenders, they're connected.
939
00:51:59,602 --> 00:52:03,855
And if they review this, the paper
trail is going to be sweaty.
940
00:52:05,525 --> 00:52:08,569
So do us all a favor
and get her out of there.
941
00:52:08,736 --> 00:52:10,738
It's not even 48 hours.
942
00:52:10,862 --> 00:52:12,281
Get her out of there.
943
00:52:18,579 --> 00:52:23,835
(INMATES PRAYING IN SPANISH)
944
00:52:25,586 --> 00:52:27,547
GLORIA: Mmm-hmm.
ALEIDA: Mmm-hmm.
945
00:52:27,672 --> 00:52:29,089
GLORIA: Mmm.
ALEIDA: Mmm-hmm.
946
00:52:31,883 --> 00:52:35,388
I'm sorry you feeling like shit,
chica, but I had to do it.
947
00:52:36,681 --> 00:52:38,224
It's okay.
I'm relieved, actually.
948
00:52:47,233 --> 00:52:48,442
(WHISPERING) I wanna keep it.
949
00:52:48,900 --> 00:52:50,570
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
950
00:52:50,695 --> 00:52:52,455
But I don't wanna
get him in trouble, though.
951
00:52:55,241 --> 00:52:57,577
Don't worry, nena.
We'll figure something out.
952
00:52:57,660 --> 00:53:00,912
You're gonna have a baby.
I'm gonna be a grandmother.
953
00:53:01,205 --> 00:53:02,540
(SIGHS)
954
00:53:10,673 --> 00:53:12,466
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
955
00:53:17,096 --> 00:53:18,930
Hello?
956
00:53:19,056 --> 00:53:22,059
FEMALE VOICE: An inmate from Litchfield
Federal Prison is attempting to contact you.
957
00:53:22,142 --> 00:53:24,395
To accept the call,
please press one.
958
00:53:26,938 --> 00:53:27,939
(BEEPS)
959
00:53:28,775 --> 00:53:30,693
SOPHIA: Baby? It's me.
960
00:53:30,777 --> 00:53:32,986
Uh, I'm just
getting in the car.
961
00:53:34,447 --> 00:53:36,198
I'll just take a minute.
962
00:53:36,282 --> 00:53:37,909
I was wrong.
963
00:53:38,492 --> 00:53:41,328
You do whatever you need to do.
964
00:53:42,455 --> 00:53:43,873
You have my blessing.
965
00:53:50,463 --> 00:53:51,963
Thank you.
966
00:53:54,216 --> 00:53:55,802
Happy Thanksgiving.
967
00:53:56,009 --> 00:53:57,386
Happy Thanksgiving.
968
00:54:02,642 --> 00:54:03,975
You Josie's girl?
969
00:54:04,059 --> 00:54:05,853
My cousin, Neicey,
told me I could stay here.
970
00:54:05,977 --> 00:54:08,856
Neicey don't live here no more.
And I know she ain't your cousin.
971
00:54:08,980 --> 00:54:10,566
We had the same foster family.
972
00:54:11,191 --> 00:54:15,321
Look, I ain't getting my ass in trouble
letting some ex-con stay in my house.
973
00:54:15,446 --> 00:54:18,157
But I have to stay here. This is
the address I gave my supervisor.
974
00:54:18,324 --> 00:54:20,367
The system gonna
come check on me.
975
00:54:20,576 --> 00:54:22,161
That ain't my problem.
976
00:54:22,369 --> 00:54:24,204
I ain't got
nowhere else to stay at.
977
00:54:25,372 --> 00:54:26,415
Shit.
978
00:54:28,041 --> 00:54:29,877
You can sleep in that corner.
979
00:54:31,671 --> 00:54:33,172
On the floor.
980
00:54:33,547 --> 00:54:35,048
Leave that
mattress where it is.
981
00:54:35,174 --> 00:54:39,553
'Cause I ain't having no rapey motherfuckers
coming in off that fire-escape again.
982
00:54:39,679 --> 00:54:41,681
And you're out
in the morning, understand?
983
00:54:48,354 --> 00:54:49,563
Hmm, Burset.
984
00:54:51,858 --> 00:54:54,401
Um... You gave me four.
985
00:54:55,528 --> 00:54:57,196
Yeah, new doctor.
986
00:54:57,363 --> 00:54:59,866
He said your chart was wrong. So
you're back to your old dosage.
987
00:55:03,202 --> 00:55:05,371
Thank you.
988
00:55:05,454 --> 00:55:07,038
Hmm?
Thank you.
989
00:55:09,124 --> 00:55:10,125
(CHUCKLES)
990
00:55:15,214 --> 00:55:17,216
Chapman! You're out.
991
00:55:17,299 --> 00:55:18,592
Back to camp.
992
00:55:32,732 --> 00:55:34,132
FISCHER: (KNOCKS AT DOOR)
Mr. Healy?
993
00:55:35,693 --> 00:55:38,487
Piper Chapman's fiance came to
visit while she was in lock-up.
994
00:55:40,656 --> 00:55:42,533
(SIGHS) And?
995
00:55:42,616 --> 00:55:44,785
He left his number, sir.
996
00:55:44,911 --> 00:55:46,161
I'm sorry, I know
that's against the rules,
997
00:55:46,245 --> 00:55:48,372
but he wanted to know
why she was in SHU.
998
00:55:49,289 --> 00:55:51,959
Okay. Thank you.
I'll take that.
999
00:56:06,640 --> 00:56:07,975
(LINE RINGING)
1000
00:56:12,271 --> 00:56:13,773
LARRY: Hello?
1001
00:56:13,940 --> 00:56:15,357
Hello, Mr. Bloom?
1002
00:56:15,441 --> 00:56:18,569
This is Counselor Healy from
the Department of Corrections.
1003
00:56:18,652 --> 00:56:22,740
I have some information that might
interest you regarding your fiancee.
1004
00:56:23,449 --> 00:56:25,242
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
1005
00:56:53,854 --> 00:56:55,815
Holy shit, Chapman, you're out.
1006
00:56:56,983 --> 00:56:58,109
Oh, my God...
1007
00:57:00,569 --> 00:57:02,655
Let's get out of here.
Are you okay?
1008
00:57:05,866 --> 00:57:07,785
What are we doing here?
1009
00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:15,584
(BOTH MOANING)
1010
00:57:21,300 --> 00:57:32,129
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com