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Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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Did you get in trouble, too?
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00:02:04,516 --> 00:02:08,561
Sometimes the feelings inside
me get messy like dirt.
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00:02:08,812 --> 00:02:10,313
And I like to clean things.
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Pretend the dirt
is the feelings.
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00:02:13,566 --> 00:02:15,485
This floor is my mind.
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00:02:16,110 --> 00:02:19,155
That is called coping.
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And the COs don't care
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'cause they like things clean.
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And that is called symbiosis.
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Suzanne, listen.
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00:02:33,586 --> 00:02:37,048
Those things that
Larry said on the radio?
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They sounded a lot worse
than they really were.
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And when I said those things to
him, it was before I knew you.
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00:02:44,972 --> 00:02:47,392
Before I knew what
a nice person you are.
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And you have to admit that
you come on a little strong.
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It's okay, dandelion.
You know why?
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I used to spend
a lot of time thinking
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how I could make you love me.
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Like, if I had
long pretty hair,
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or if I made a chocolate
cake with frosting,
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or if I had a green bicycle.
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No! You are great
the way that you are.
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I know.
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00:03:13,459 --> 00:03:17,088
Because the answer is,
you're not a nice person.
26
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You're a mean person.
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00:03:22,844 --> 00:03:26,890
And I used to think you
was a yellow dandelion
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00:03:28,182 --> 00:03:31,060
but you're all dried up
with the puff blown off.
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And it's not your fault.
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00:03:33,062 --> 00:03:37,066
You are who you are,
like, I am who I am.
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00:03:38,443 --> 00:03:39,444
I'm not mean.
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00:03:42,363 --> 00:03:44,741
I didn't mean
to be mean to you.
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You gotta start
from the inside out
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or else you'll
step on the clean.
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00:04:08,306 --> 00:04:09,432
Hey.
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00:04:10,099 --> 00:04:11,976
Look at you,
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waking up for crack
of dawn I-told-you-so.
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00:04:14,687 --> 00:04:15,980
That's dedication.
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00:04:16,648 --> 00:04:18,149
I have to pee.
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00:04:18,650 --> 00:04:19,859
But as long as I'm here,
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00:04:19,984 --> 00:04:22,987
how's that, uh, spontaneous
confession treating you?
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00:04:23,154 --> 00:04:25,657
Shittier than I thought,
which is impressive,
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considering I'm literally
scrubbing toilets.
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You're sucking all of the
joy out of my gloat.
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You gonna tell me what
happened with the fiance?
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Oh, you know,
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I accused him of feeding
on my misfortune
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with the sensitivity
of a vampire squid,
49
00:04:41,422 --> 00:04:44,509
and then he accused
me of betraying him
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in a disgusting, yet totally
predictable manner.
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So, we're in a good place.
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I'm sorry, Pipes.
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And that was before
he told me that his father,
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AKA my lawyer,
looked at the records
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and found out that it was you
who ratted me out to the Feds.
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Fuck.
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00:05:15,414 --> 00:05:18,042
Don't worry about it. I
mean, fool me once, right?
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Okay, listen...
Alex.
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I'm over it. Really.
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It's fine.
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You got mine?
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Caputo's special!
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You know, you're not supposed to
take food out of here, Sister.
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Maybe we
can bend that rule a bit.
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At my age you, you've got to
keep your blood sugar steady.
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I dip at around 10:00.
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00:06:02,587 --> 00:06:03,922
Don't worry about it.
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Oatmeal and cheese
sandwich, no crusts.
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00:06:13,681 --> 00:06:15,307
You should eat something.
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He's coming.
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I like the
shape of your ears.
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What else do you
like the shape of?
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You know what I miss?
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Mimosas.
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I'm gonna need your help
with something.
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You missed breakfast.
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I needed to sleep
more than I needed eggs.
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Miss Claudette,
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I want to apologize to you for
everything that Larry said.
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I had no idea it was gonna...
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00:07:02,605 --> 00:07:05,149
I know the stories they
say about me, Chapman.
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00:07:05,232 --> 00:07:07,352
I wish you'd thought enough
of me to ask for the truth.
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00:07:11,948 --> 00:07:14,158
If you're getting sick,
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00:07:14,241 --> 00:07:15,326
please keep your hands clean
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00:07:15,451 --> 00:07:17,202
and stay on your side
of the room.
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00:07:17,954 --> 00:07:20,999
Tomorrow is a big day for me
and I won't have you ruin it.
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00:07:21,124 --> 00:07:22,667
That seems to be
a talent of yours.
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You ain't said
nothin' all morning.
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00:07:29,548 --> 00:07:31,592
There ain't nothing
worth saying.
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00:07:32,217 --> 00:07:34,018
And they say there's no
such thing as miracles.
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00:07:36,014 --> 00:07:38,182
Yikes.
No scrappy rejoinder?
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00:07:39,308 --> 00:07:40,909
They must have put
you on the scary meds.
93
00:07:41,519 --> 00:07:42,880
Why ain't you
throwing back at her?
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00:07:43,021 --> 00:07:44,563
'Cause there ain't no
point, Leanne, all right?
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00:07:44,689 --> 00:07:46,231
I got beat.
96
00:07:46,357 --> 00:07:48,651
Ain't nobody up there
looking out for me no more.
97
00:07:49,234 --> 00:07:50,528
I'm looking out for you.
98
00:07:50,945 --> 00:07:52,279
You know,
he finally come to me,
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00:07:52,363 --> 00:07:54,283
after all this time that
I've been following him.
100
00:07:54,323 --> 00:07:56,450
I finally heard him talk to me,
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00:07:56,534 --> 00:07:59,537
him saying how I was
his girl, I was.
102
00:08:00,788 --> 00:08:01,956
Turns out it weren't him.
103
00:08:02,040 --> 00:08:03,541
No, it was Chapman,
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00:08:04,042 --> 00:08:05,751
the bitch devil of Litchfield.
105
00:08:06,418 --> 00:08:08,838
Well, you missed her
boyfriend's crazy radio show.
106
00:08:09,005 --> 00:08:11,132
Hey. Chapman put
her ass on the line
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00:08:11,215 --> 00:08:13,342
to get you out
of Psych, you know?
108
00:08:13,509 --> 00:08:14,909
She's cleaning toilets
every morning
109
00:08:14,927 --> 00:08:16,261
like Private
"fucking" Benjamin.
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00:08:17,471 --> 00:08:20,558
Look, I ain't looking
for revenge, okay?
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She'd probably
kick my ass anyway.
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00:08:24,562 --> 00:08:28,273
No way, Tucky. You're
small but you got spit.
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Man, do you know what it means,
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when there ain't nobody up
there punishing the evildoers?
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00:08:32,904 --> 00:08:36,032
It means there ain't nobody giving out
prizes for the good ones, neither.
116
00:08:36,741 --> 00:08:39,952
'Cause there ain't no judge,
there ain't no justice.
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We just crawl around this Earth
like ants and then we die.
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You don't gotta kill it.
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I'm just thinking
about you, is all.
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I mean, you
show 'em a baby,
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you get good money
from the government.
122
00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:02,975
Plus WIC packages.
123
00:09:04,309 --> 00:09:06,854
All kinds of things
in them packages you get.
124
00:09:06,938 --> 00:09:09,690
Cheese, peanut butter.
125
00:09:11,109 --> 00:09:12,276
Baby food.
126
00:09:13,527 --> 00:09:16,072
Hell, you can make a good
casserole out of baby food.
127
00:09:16,155 --> 00:09:18,783
Sprinkle some Fritos
on top, tuna.
128
00:09:19,575 --> 00:09:23,996
Tasty as hell, and baby
food is vegetables.
129
00:09:24,205 --> 00:09:25,806
Well, if you're eating
all the baby food,
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00:09:25,915 --> 00:09:27,708
what's the baby supposed to eat?
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00:09:30,128 --> 00:09:31,629
Suit yourself.
132
00:09:31,921 --> 00:09:33,131
I'm not keeping it, Arlen.
133
00:09:35,591 --> 00:09:37,301
You never keep it.
134
00:09:39,511 --> 00:09:43,682
Look, my cousin, Sierra, she had a
baby down at County last summer,
135
00:09:43,933 --> 00:09:45,226
and after they drug tested her,
136
00:09:45,309 --> 00:09:46,811
they took the baby boy away
137
00:09:46,894 --> 00:09:50,689
and they arrested her for
endangering a minor, okay?
138
00:09:51,523 --> 00:09:53,818
So, I think babies
are cute and all
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00:09:53,901 --> 00:09:56,612
but I ain't going
to jail for this fucker.
140
00:09:58,156 --> 00:09:59,991
Well, another idea is,
141
00:10:03,077 --> 00:10:04,495
you could stop doing drugs.
142
00:10:20,970 --> 00:10:24,056
For real, though, I need a
ride tomorrow to the clinic.
143
00:10:26,058 --> 00:10:29,937
Hell, tomorrow I gotta do
the thing with the hammers.
144
00:10:41,991 --> 00:10:43,117
Jesus!
145
00:10:43,201 --> 00:10:44,285
Hey.
146
00:10:46,787 --> 00:10:48,497
You know what's overrated?
147
00:10:49,623 --> 00:10:50,875
Toast.
148
00:10:55,671 --> 00:10:56,839
Wanna fuck in the pantry?
149
00:10:56,964 --> 00:10:58,883
Hey!
Get out of here.
150
00:10:59,008 --> 00:11:00,218
You're gonna get us shot.
151
00:11:00,592 --> 00:11:02,011
I'm serious.
152
00:11:03,679 --> 00:11:05,520
I was so afraid about you
finding out the truth,
153
00:11:05,597 --> 00:11:07,225
but now it's out,
and it's okay.
154
00:11:07,683 --> 00:11:09,268
It's kind of a rush.
155
00:11:10,228 --> 00:11:12,104
Cool thing about sex
in an industrial kitchen
156
00:11:12,230 --> 00:11:13,438
is there's a ton
of margarine in here.
157
00:11:13,689 --> 00:11:14,690
Stop it, Alex.
158
00:11:14,773 --> 00:11:15,774
Come on, babe.
159
00:11:15,900 --> 00:11:17,651
Let's celebrate how totally
fine you are with everything.
160
00:11:17,776 --> 00:11:18,861
You're freaking me out.
161
00:11:18,944 --> 00:11:19,987
You ain't seen nothing yet.
162
00:11:20,154 --> 00:11:21,488
I said stop it.
What?
163
00:11:21,572 --> 00:11:23,866
Can't a girl be totally overcome
with desire for someone
164
00:11:23,949 --> 00:11:25,034
who's being so cool,
165
00:11:25,117 --> 00:11:26,160
and so forgiving?
166
00:11:26,244 --> 00:11:27,828
We're not okay!
167
00:11:30,413 --> 00:11:31,665
This is not fine!
168
00:11:31,749 --> 00:11:34,252
Good. Now we could
talk about it.
169
00:11:34,417 --> 00:11:35,457
It that what this is about?
170
00:11:35,586 --> 00:11:37,420
Yeah. That's what this is about.
171
00:11:38,089 --> 00:11:41,259
You find out that I personally
got you thrown in here
172
00:11:41,384 --> 00:11:44,136
at the exact moment your manicured
fingers were like closing
173
00:11:44,262 --> 00:11:45,346
on the yuppie brass ring,
174
00:11:45,428 --> 00:11:47,639
and somehow you don't
have a problem with it?
175
00:11:47,765 --> 00:11:48,933
You are so full of shit.
176
00:11:49,100 --> 00:11:50,393
Fuck you.
177
00:11:51,434 --> 00:11:52,937
Fuck you, Alex.
178
00:11:53,562 --> 00:11:54,855
You want me to be angry?
179
00:11:54,939 --> 00:11:58,109
Well, guess what, I'm really fucking
angry, because I love you, Alex.
180
00:11:59,777 --> 00:12:02,863
I love you
and I fucking hate you.
181
00:12:04,156 --> 00:12:06,284
I have really been trying
to keep my shit together,
182
00:12:06,409 --> 00:12:09,828
but if you really need to see
me Hulk out over this...
183
00:12:12,706 --> 00:12:14,250
Larry left you, didn't he?
184
00:12:17,795 --> 00:12:21,299
And that's why you're
fake-fine with me.
185
00:12:22,300 --> 00:12:24,302
Right now you're willing to
overlook pretty much anything
186
00:12:24,427 --> 00:12:28,055
because ultimately you are
just terrified of being alone.
187
00:12:30,849 --> 00:12:32,851
Is that what I am to you?
188
00:12:33,185 --> 00:12:38,149
A fucking binky for you to
suck on until you feel better?
189
00:12:41,193 --> 00:12:42,361
Look at me.
190
00:12:47,450 --> 00:12:49,034
Why did you do it?
191
00:12:49,201 --> 00:12:51,078
They were offering less time.
192
00:12:51,829 --> 00:12:53,789
A lot less time, depending
on how much I gave them.
193
00:12:54,706 --> 00:12:58,336
I hadn't seen or heard
from you in eight years.
194
00:12:58,501 --> 00:13:02,047
You weren't even real anymore,
which made it easier.
195
00:13:03,799 --> 00:13:06,802
And I was pretty sure one of the
other guys would give you up anyway.
196
00:13:06,927 --> 00:13:10,097
And if I'm being really honest,
197
00:13:10,181 --> 00:13:11,765
I was still pissed at you.
198
00:13:13,017 --> 00:13:14,435
For leaving.
199
00:13:15,769 --> 00:13:16,937
For my mom.
200
00:13:18,189 --> 00:13:22,360
So, yeah, at that moment
I probably was just, like,
201
00:13:22,485 --> 00:13:24,403
"Fuck you," you know?
202
00:13:26,905 --> 00:13:28,366
I'm not proud of myself.
203
00:13:28,491 --> 00:13:30,034
You lied to me.
204
00:13:31,202 --> 00:13:32,953
When I first got here
you could've given me
205
00:13:33,037 --> 00:13:34,288
this whole speech right then.
206
00:13:35,706 --> 00:13:37,708
I wanted you to like me.
207
00:13:39,542 --> 00:13:40,711
I still do.
208
00:13:41,504 --> 00:13:44,882
Maybe you should've thought
that all the way through.
209
00:13:57,061 --> 00:13:58,062
Ugh.
210
00:13:58,145 --> 00:13:59,646
This isn't even
remotely coffee.
211
00:14:00,356 --> 00:14:01,940
No, it's dandelions.
212
00:14:02,441 --> 00:14:04,193
Which are loaded
with potassium, man.
213
00:14:04,276 --> 00:14:06,653
Everyone thinks potassium
is all about the bananas,
214
00:14:06,737 --> 00:14:08,613
but that is
banana-lobby bullshit.
215
00:14:12,243 --> 00:14:13,827
She does have a point
about the radio thing,
216
00:14:13,911 --> 00:14:15,538
I'll cop to that.
217
00:14:15,620 --> 00:14:17,415
She's the most interesting
thing about me right now,
218
00:14:17,498 --> 00:14:19,917
and I used that.
Mmm.
219
00:14:20,334 --> 00:14:22,711
And I guess it was a dick move.
220
00:14:22,794 --> 00:14:25,130
But that doesn't make it
okay that she cheated on me.
221
00:14:25,339 --> 00:14:27,466
No, cheating
is a strong word, pal.
222
00:14:28,092 --> 00:14:30,094
Sorry, is there
another word for
223
00:14:30,177 --> 00:14:32,263
"fucking someone other than
the person you promised,
224
00:14:32,346 --> 00:14:34,223
"in the very recent past,
225
00:14:34,306 --> 00:14:36,016
"to fuck exclusively forever"?
226
00:14:36,267 --> 00:14:38,387
Uh, no. I'm just saying that
this "someone" was a girl,
227
00:14:38,436 --> 00:14:39,603
which isn't really cheating.
228
00:14:40,687 --> 00:14:43,607
Like, you and Piper
play squash together.
229
00:14:43,732 --> 00:14:46,944
And if in her downtime she
joins a softball team, then...
230
00:14:47,111 --> 00:14:49,280
That's the bigger problem
with this whole thing.
231
00:14:49,405 --> 00:14:51,115
She fucked a woman.
232
00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:53,242
So what, is she gay now?
233
00:14:54,243 --> 00:14:59,164
I don't know about "now." I just
think that she is what she is, man.
234
00:15:00,499 --> 00:15:02,000
Which is what exactly?
235
00:15:02,167 --> 00:15:04,336
I'm gonna go ahead and guess
that one of the issues here
236
00:15:04,462 --> 00:15:07,923
is your need to say that a
person is exactly anything.
237
00:15:13,304 --> 00:15:15,306
I think it might be over.
238
00:15:20,519 --> 00:15:21,937
Uh...
No offense, Bloomer,
239
00:15:22,020 --> 00:15:24,773
but it's super weird
that I'm in the middle here.
240
00:15:26,024 --> 00:15:27,304
You know,
one of the main reasons
241
00:15:27,318 --> 00:15:29,278
that I live 110 miles
from civilization
242
00:15:29,361 --> 00:15:31,863
is I'm kind of allergic
to other people's drama.
243
00:15:31,989 --> 00:15:35,033
Including, and sometimes especially
when it involves my sister.
244
00:15:35,159 --> 00:15:37,035
That's kind of the whole point,
245
00:15:37,161 --> 00:15:38,496
you know what I'm saying?
246
00:15:39,163 --> 00:15:42,207
Yeah. I know. Uh...
You want me to take off?
247
00:15:42,541 --> 00:15:45,169
No, man. Absolutely chill
here for a few days
248
00:15:45,252 --> 00:15:46,504
if it helps you out.
249
00:15:46,629 --> 00:15:48,255
I would just really
enjoy not being involved
250
00:15:48,339 --> 00:15:51,300
in any kind
of decision-making process.
251
00:15:51,383 --> 00:15:54,064
And respect the limitations of the septic system.
252
00:15:54,136 --> 00:15:55,887
It's touch-and-go
as it is.
253
00:16:00,934 --> 00:16:01,935
Holy shit.
254
00:16:07,191 --> 00:16:09,109
Everything okay?
Dude, I'm engaged!
255
00:16:27,169 --> 00:16:29,630
Mr. Caputo, I gotta
make a complaint
256
00:16:29,713 --> 00:16:31,674
about the fungus in
the Spanish showers.
257
00:16:31,756 --> 00:16:32,757
Talk to a CO about that.
258
00:16:32,883 --> 00:16:34,163
I did. They told
me to come to you
259
00:16:34,218 --> 00:16:36,637
because you were the only one that
could deal with this from high up.
260
00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:37,721
I bet they did.
261
00:16:37,804 --> 00:16:42,393
I got a serious case
underneath my big toenail.
262
00:16:43,018 --> 00:16:47,398
It is all squishy
and green under there.
263
00:16:47,481 --> 00:16:48,566
As a matter of fact,
let me show you.
264
00:16:48,691 --> 00:16:51,527
No. That will absolutely
not be necessary.
265
00:16:51,735 --> 00:16:54,446
Well, could you at least get Crazy
Eyes over to the light brown side?
266
00:16:54,572 --> 00:16:56,990
I mean, she's keeping the ghetto
cleaner than a nun's chocha, mira.
267
00:16:57,074 --> 00:16:59,743
And another thing,
between my pinkie toe
268
00:16:59,826 --> 00:17:02,413
and my ring toe, it is
bad news, bad news!
269
00:17:02,538 --> 00:17:04,415
So when I go to medical
call and I show them,
270
00:17:04,498 --> 00:17:06,250
they write that shit down,
271
00:17:06,333 --> 00:17:08,877
I gotta let them know
that I told you guys.
272
00:17:09,086 --> 00:17:10,671
What happened
to your shower shoes?
273
00:17:10,879 --> 00:17:12,130
So I just passed out
sitting there like that,
274
00:17:12,256 --> 00:17:14,136
and then when I woke up
my zoris, they were gone,
275
00:17:14,174 --> 00:17:15,217
right off my feet.
276
00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:19,513
Which reminds me, stealing, that's
another problem we've been having.
277
00:17:22,391 --> 00:17:23,752
Well, what are you
gonna do, right?
278
00:17:23,767 --> 00:17:25,269
At least we got our sanity.
279
00:17:26,937 --> 00:17:29,064
Oh, look at that.
Ten of jack.
280
00:17:29,398 --> 00:17:33,611
Mr. Caputo, I think I heard somebody
crying in the utility closet.
281
00:17:33,736 --> 00:17:34,945
Oh, well, we can't have that.
282
00:17:35,028 --> 00:17:37,072
I'm just saying
'cause we had that suicide
283
00:17:37,155 --> 00:17:38,657
and you know
how these girls are.
284
00:17:38,782 --> 00:17:41,410
They get an idea in their heads
and if you don't watch out
285
00:17:41,493 --> 00:17:44,288
they start offing themselves every
time they get their period.
286
00:17:44,371 --> 00:17:46,665
I know you guys wrote a really
encouraging memo about it,
287
00:17:46,790 --> 00:17:47,874
but truth be told,
288
00:17:47,958 --> 00:17:50,544
I'm not sure
everybody here can read.
289
00:17:50,628 --> 00:17:52,630
I mean, I would
look into it myself
290
00:17:52,755 --> 00:17:54,590
but I got too much empathy.
291
00:17:54,715 --> 00:17:55,924
Lays me low.
292
00:17:56,091 --> 00:17:57,842
If I am not home
in my massage chair
293
00:17:57,968 --> 00:18:00,387
holding a glass of Wild
Turkey in 25 minutes,
294
00:18:00,471 --> 00:18:02,431
I am holding you
personally responsible.
295
00:18:07,561 --> 00:18:10,981
Yeah. That's it, baby. Faster.
296
00:18:12,816 --> 00:18:14,526
Seriously, faster.
297
00:18:15,860 --> 00:18:17,780
Oh, my God.
Here it comes.
298
00:18:17,862 --> 00:18:22,033
Oh, God! Oh, God!
I, I love you. Oh, God!
299
00:18:23,868 --> 00:18:25,746
Christ on a cross.
300
00:18:32,753 --> 00:18:34,212
You seem very chipper
this morning.
301
00:18:34,755 --> 00:18:37,675
My lawyer thinks the judge
is leaning our way.
302
00:18:37,758 --> 00:18:40,051
We find out this afternoon.
303
00:18:41,679 --> 00:18:43,305
Oh, I have something for you.
304
00:18:45,516 --> 00:18:47,058
Well, honestly,
I got it for myself,
305
00:18:47,184 --> 00:18:48,852
but I figured you could use it.
306
00:18:50,270 --> 00:18:51,396
For your special day.
307
00:18:51,522 --> 00:18:53,273
I don't know
if that is my color.
308
00:18:53,398 --> 00:18:55,317
Hold out your hand.
309
00:19:06,578 --> 00:19:08,955
You have any big plans
if this all works out?
310
00:19:09,414 --> 00:19:11,416
There is someone
waiting for me.
311
00:19:11,542 --> 00:19:13,377
That is plan enough.
312
00:19:13,627 --> 00:19:16,921
And I'm going to eat
dinner at dinner time.
313
00:19:18,131 --> 00:19:21,343
At 7:00,
like a person.
314
00:19:22,636 --> 00:19:23,637
What do you think?
315
00:19:24,888 --> 00:19:26,390
Pretty.
Hmm.
316
00:19:48,161 --> 00:19:49,287
Fuck me running.
317
00:19:49,413 --> 00:19:52,249
Are you trying to kill the
warden, Joe, is that it?
318
00:19:52,332 --> 00:19:53,834
Are you trying to lay him
out flat with a stroke?
319
00:19:53,917 --> 00:19:56,086
Because hired fucking assassins
320
00:19:56,169 --> 00:19:57,337
could not be doing
a better job on him
321
00:19:57,421 --> 00:19:59,005
than you are right now.
322
00:19:59,381 --> 00:20:00,674
It was an isolated incident.
323
00:20:00,799 --> 00:20:03,134
Oh, right. Like the
hanging two weeks ago.
324
00:20:03,260 --> 00:20:05,429
Or the maple syrup situation
before that.
325
00:20:05,554 --> 00:20:07,634
An armadillo could run this
place better than you can,
326
00:20:07,639 --> 00:20:08,682
I swear to God.
327
00:20:08,766 --> 00:20:10,601
I can't be everywhere.
328
00:20:11,309 --> 00:20:14,438
You can't blame me
for this scumbag deciding
329
00:20:14,563 --> 00:20:17,107
last night was his go time
to start raping people.
330
00:20:17,190 --> 00:20:19,735
Whoa, whoa, whoa. We are not
talking about a rape here.
331
00:20:20,444 --> 00:20:22,446
We're not using the "R" word.
332
00:20:22,529 --> 00:20:25,699
A CO fucks an inmate
against her will...
333
00:20:25,908 --> 00:20:28,827
Did she scream?
Was she crying?
334
00:20:28,952 --> 00:20:31,371
These girls throwing
themselves at COs
335
00:20:31,455 --> 00:20:32,497
thinking they can
get out of here
336
00:20:32,623 --> 00:20:33,783
and snag a government pension.
337
00:20:33,832 --> 00:20:35,041
Read the rules, Fig.
338
00:20:35,125 --> 00:20:37,127
The girl can't give consent
even if she wants to.
339
00:20:37,294 --> 00:20:42,299
Listen to me. We are not putting
rape on the record right now.
340
00:20:43,967 --> 00:20:47,429
Mendez is gonna take a
little leave without pay.
341
00:20:48,639 --> 00:20:51,809
Uh, the stress of the job is
getting to him, etcetera.
342
00:20:52,267 --> 00:20:55,312
Frankly, we could use the money,
the budget is shot to hell.
343
00:20:55,437 --> 00:20:59,650
I am going to sell this
to the warden as a plus.
344
00:21:02,903 --> 00:21:05,989
It's getting a little old
cleaning up your messes, Joe.
345
00:21:18,126 --> 00:21:19,336
What the hell happened last night?
You okay?
346
00:21:19,461 --> 00:21:20,462
Should you be working?
347
00:21:20,545 --> 00:21:21,588
I'm fine.
348
00:21:21,755 --> 00:21:22,881
Daya, if he hurt you...
349
00:21:23,006 --> 00:21:25,968
Bennett, I'm fine.
And now you're fine, too.
350
00:21:27,970 --> 00:21:29,012
What?
351
00:21:29,095 --> 00:21:31,014
Now, when they find out
I got a baby in me,
352
00:21:31,139 --> 00:21:33,016
it ain't gonna
come down on you.
353
00:21:35,519 --> 00:21:36,603
Oh, my God.
354
00:21:37,604 --> 00:21:39,397
Don't be mad.
You did it on purpose?
355
00:21:39,523 --> 00:21:41,608
Because I love you.
I did it for us.
356
00:21:41,775 --> 00:21:43,777
For us, you fucked Mendez?
357
00:21:44,528 --> 00:21:46,697
And you lied? You got him
suspended without pay.
358
00:21:46,864 --> 00:21:48,239
Suspended?
359
00:21:48,365 --> 00:21:51,284
They ain't fired that fucknut?
He raped me.
360
00:21:51,451 --> 00:21:52,995
He didn't rape you,
you framed him.
361
00:21:53,077 --> 00:21:54,579
Yeah, but as far as they know.
362
00:21:56,790 --> 00:21:58,416
Anyway, it don't matter.
363
00:21:58,542 --> 00:22:00,168
Everything's gonna be okay now.
364
00:22:03,588 --> 00:22:04,715
Who are you?
365
00:22:17,060 --> 00:22:18,395
So what?
Leanne call you?
366
00:22:18,937 --> 00:22:20,230
She's worried about you.
367
00:22:20,313 --> 00:22:21,565
Said you haven't been yourself.
368
00:22:21,690 --> 00:22:24,401
Yeah.
She's probably right.
369
00:22:24,526 --> 00:22:26,846
I'm still getting out from under
the meds that they gave me.
370
00:22:27,278 --> 00:22:28,405
Why?
371
00:22:28,530 --> 00:22:31,073
'Cause you so much as even
squawk about God in here,
372
00:22:31,199 --> 00:22:32,951
and you get thrown in
with the Looney Toons.
373
00:22:33,243 --> 00:22:35,245
Yeah. Well, liberals
are everywhere.
374
00:22:35,370 --> 00:22:36,850
Yeah. Well, they ain't
wrong, you know?
375
00:22:37,079 --> 00:22:38,080
About what?
376
00:22:38,623 --> 00:22:40,375
Oh, this girl, Chapman?
377
00:22:41,585 --> 00:22:44,629
She made me believe that he'd chose me.
He didn't.
378
00:22:44,755 --> 00:22:47,549
They all disrespecting me,
he didn't do nothing.
379
00:22:48,383 --> 00:22:49,593
He let 'em laugh at me.
380
00:22:49,676 --> 00:22:52,637
Conclusion being that I don't
think he exists at all.
381
00:22:52,763 --> 00:22:55,891
And if he does, he ain't
a person I wanna know.
382
00:22:57,851 --> 00:23:01,605
Matthew 5:11.
383
00:23:01,772 --> 00:23:05,943
"Blessed are ye, when men shall
revile you, and persecute you,
384
00:23:06,068 --> 00:23:07,945
"and shall speak
all manner of evil
385
00:23:08,028 --> 00:23:10,238
"against you falsely,
for my sake."
386
00:23:10,321 --> 00:23:12,407
He hasn't abandoned you,
Tiffany.
387
00:23:13,115 --> 00:23:15,117
Maybe he just wants you to
notice someone who needs him.
388
00:23:15,243 --> 00:23:16,286
She don't need him, okay?
389
00:23:16,369 --> 00:23:20,457
All she needs is her own self and her
sasquatch of a girlfriend, okay?
390
00:23:20,624 --> 00:23:23,293
People hurt other people
because they're unhappy.
391
00:23:24,044 --> 00:23:25,964
Because they feel guilty
over things they've done
392
00:23:26,088 --> 00:23:27,547
and they have no one
to forgive them.
393
00:23:27,631 --> 00:23:30,008
You might as well
tell me to turn into a duck.
394
00:23:30,592 --> 00:23:31,718
'Cause I ain't forgiving her.
395
00:23:31,802 --> 00:23:35,137
I mean, I have to confess that to
you right now, I'm not that big.
396
00:23:36,306 --> 00:23:38,100
God wants you to be that big.
397
00:23:38,182 --> 00:23:40,685
He chose you to be a hero.
398
00:23:41,519 --> 00:23:43,981
Remember how you yourself
have been forgiven.
399
00:24:15,012 --> 00:24:16,513
Number five, huh?
400
00:24:16,596 --> 00:24:19,599
We should give you a punch-card,
get the sixth one free.
401
00:24:41,872 --> 00:24:43,392
You best not waste
my squirrel bullets.
402
00:24:43,540 --> 00:24:45,000
She disrespected me.
403
00:24:57,762 --> 00:25:00,765
I assume
you heard about Mendez.
404
00:25:01,141 --> 00:25:03,018
I heard
he was fraternizing, sir.
405
00:25:03,685 --> 00:25:05,062
"Fraternizing."
406
00:25:05,896 --> 00:25:09,315
Fischer, I've seen some
things I can't unsee.
407
00:25:09,816 --> 00:25:11,233
I can imagine.
408
00:25:11,568 --> 00:25:15,613
More importantly, I've had
to put an officer on ice,
409
00:25:15,739 --> 00:25:19,910
leaving us short-handed a week
before the Christmas pageant.
410
00:25:19,993 --> 00:25:25,540
You have not seen crazy until you've
seen 200 women with anger issues
411
00:25:25,623 --> 00:25:29,586
fighting over who's gonna
be the ass-end of a camel.
412
00:25:30,587 --> 00:25:31,880
Are we working extra hours?
413
00:25:32,422 --> 00:25:34,591
Washington won't cover
two-ply toilet paper,
414
00:25:34,674 --> 00:25:36,593
they're not gonna start
shelling out overtime.
415
00:25:36,718 --> 00:25:38,553
We'll get a body in
from down the hill.
416
00:25:39,054 --> 00:25:41,723
What I need from you is,
417
00:25:43,265 --> 00:25:46,019
not to get yourself in
trouble the way Mendez did.
418
00:25:46,144 --> 00:25:48,188
Oh, I'm not gay, sir.
419
00:25:48,396 --> 00:25:50,648
No, God, no,
I didn't mean that.
420
00:25:50,774 --> 00:25:53,777
No. You are straight
as they come.
421
00:25:54,027 --> 00:25:58,280
I mean, does a zebra
have stripes, am I right?
422
00:25:58,448 --> 00:25:59,741
Exactly.
423
00:26:00,117 --> 00:26:05,205
No, what I mean is, you can't
go easy on the inmates.
424
00:26:06,288 --> 00:26:08,541
They will take
advantage of you.
425
00:26:09,876 --> 00:26:13,130
I saw you yesterday,
look the other way
426
00:26:13,213 --> 00:26:15,882
when the nun moved
a contraband muffin.
427
00:26:16,216 --> 00:26:17,416
Oh, Sister Ingalls is harmless.
428
00:26:17,467 --> 00:26:18,802
Sister Ingalls killed a man.
429
00:26:18,927 --> 00:26:20,553
I thought she was
a political protester.
430
00:26:21,345 --> 00:26:22,973
That's not the point.
431
00:26:23,098 --> 00:26:25,307
The point is,
these women are criminals.
432
00:26:25,809 --> 00:26:28,645
And even the cuddly-looking
ones, they have done some shit
433
00:26:28,770 --> 00:26:32,565
that would terrify a kind-hearted
person such as yourself.
434
00:26:34,109 --> 00:26:36,736
Fischer, you need to
get on your game.
435
00:26:36,820 --> 00:26:38,320
You maintain your authority,
436
00:26:38,404 --> 00:26:41,032
you remind them
who's in charge.
437
00:26:41,158 --> 00:26:44,326
If you want,
I can help you out.
438
00:26:45,662 --> 00:26:48,832
Be a mentor or something.
439
00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:50,920
You think it would help
if I use a deeper voice?
440
00:26:51,001 --> 00:26:52,585
"Move along, Sister."
441
00:26:53,086 --> 00:26:54,336
It could, sure.
442
00:26:54,420 --> 00:26:57,799
Also, it helps if you
don't use their names.
443
00:26:58,216 --> 00:27:01,970
Just say, "inmate," like
they're all the same to you.
444
00:27:02,053 --> 00:27:04,346
It reminds them
they're not really people.
445
00:27:04,973 --> 00:27:06,016
They are people.
446
00:27:11,521 --> 00:27:14,858
You can't think that way.
They are sheep.
447
00:27:15,525 --> 00:27:19,361
We feed them, we herd them
from one room to the next.
448
00:27:21,865 --> 00:27:23,200
They're not like you.
449
00:27:25,243 --> 00:27:26,328
You're a woman.
450
00:27:29,039 --> 00:27:30,540
And I'm a man.
451
00:27:33,793 --> 00:27:35,545
All right. Got the
bread crumbs, right?
452
00:27:35,670 --> 00:27:37,379
Come back for that.
Take that in.
453
00:28:12,374 --> 00:28:13,624
What the fuck is this?
454
00:28:13,750 --> 00:28:15,085
Oh, don't start with me.
455
00:28:15,168 --> 00:28:17,754
We are done with
factory meat, babe.
456
00:28:17,879 --> 00:28:19,756
There's no reason why
we can't responsibly
457
00:28:19,839 --> 00:28:21,799
hunt all the animal
protein we need.
458
00:28:21,925 --> 00:28:23,009
Yeah, I was hungry.
459
00:28:23,176 --> 00:28:25,178
Is this some
kind of game to you?
460
00:28:25,262 --> 00:28:28,806
I can't even put this in the compost
pile, it'll make the worms sick.
461
00:28:28,932 --> 00:28:31,517
We're 100% on the same page
philosophically, babe,
462
00:28:31,601 --> 00:28:35,605
but I think we really need to
calibrate the intensity factor.
463
00:28:35,730 --> 00:28:37,565
Oh, you think I'm intense? Yeah.
464
00:28:37,690 --> 00:28:38,942
Okay, guess what?
Without me,
465
00:28:39,025 --> 00:28:40,818
all you're doing is
smoking pot in the forest
466
00:28:40,944 --> 00:28:42,653
in a flannel shirt
and a hipster beard,
467
00:28:42,779 --> 00:28:44,488
like a fat Bon Iver,
468
00:28:44,614 --> 00:28:46,908
the fucking Jack
Johnson of Wisconsin.
469
00:28:46,991 --> 00:28:48,618
Whoa! This is exactly
the kind of black-and-white
470
00:28:48,701 --> 00:28:50,287
Holstein shit that
I'm talking about.
471
00:28:50,370 --> 00:28:52,580
Oh, okay. You know
what the problem is?
472
00:28:52,663 --> 00:28:55,083
We are just funda-fucking-mentally
different people,
473
00:28:55,166 --> 00:28:57,252
at a DNA level!
474
00:28:57,419 --> 00:28:59,754
What? Your father is a
financial systems analyst!
475
00:28:59,921 --> 00:29:02,548
Okay, are you fully committed
to living an authentic life,
476
00:29:02,632 --> 00:29:04,301
or are you just acting out some
477
00:29:04,426 --> 00:29:06,010
Hank-Thoreau-at-Walden-Pond
fantasy shit
478
00:29:06,136 --> 00:29:07,637
from seventh grade English?
479
00:29:07,804 --> 00:29:09,806
Why does it matter?
I can't talk to you!
480
00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:18,773
Well, that was awkward.
481
00:29:20,733 --> 00:29:21,901
What, awkward how?
482
00:29:23,153 --> 00:29:27,073
It's just tough to watch you
hit the rocks like that, man.
483
00:29:28,074 --> 00:29:31,453
No. That was
foreplay, Bloomer.
484
00:29:31,535 --> 00:29:33,079
Yeah, that's, that's
how we relate.
485
00:29:33,246 --> 00:29:34,705
It seems a little aggressive.
486
00:29:34,998 --> 00:29:38,084
Think about how baby Cal
grew up, all right?
487
00:29:38,168 --> 00:29:40,753
Everyone pretended
everything was chill.
488
00:29:40,837 --> 00:29:44,174
Dad fucked two different
women named Linda,
489
00:29:44,257 --> 00:29:48,552
Mom lived on gin and cottage
cheese from '91 to about '98
490
00:29:48,678 --> 00:29:52,349
and everyone knew and nobody
ever said anything about it.
491
00:29:52,432 --> 00:29:55,893
But with Neri, we put
everything out there, man.
492
00:29:56,019 --> 00:29:57,479
It's safe.
493
00:29:57,561 --> 00:30:00,815
You know, we scream and throw
shit and it's like, electric,
494
00:30:00,898 --> 00:30:03,901
you know what I'm saying?
It's erotic, no joke.
495
00:30:04,027 --> 00:30:06,237
I mean, you get it.
You're a Jew.
496
00:30:07,405 --> 00:30:09,866
All right,
I just got to say it, man.
497
00:30:10,574 --> 00:30:13,786
You guys have known each other
what, nine weeks, tops?
498
00:30:14,287 --> 00:30:15,913
Isn't the whole
thing a little fast?
499
00:30:16,164 --> 00:30:17,581
Oh, okay.
500
00:30:18,582 --> 00:30:20,210
Maybe it
doesn't look like what
501
00:30:20,293 --> 00:30:21,894
everyone else thinks
it should look like,
502
00:30:21,919 --> 00:30:23,421
but who cares?
503
00:30:24,214 --> 00:30:27,884
We're crazy,
but we are in this.
504
00:30:39,979 --> 00:30:41,731
They said the video
machine got unhooked.
505
00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:45,568
There's this, uh,
Guatemalan grandma
506
00:30:45,693 --> 00:30:49,489
who's been teaching herself
English watching Turner and Hooch
507
00:30:49,572 --> 00:30:53,743
about six times a day. I'm
guessing someone got tired of it.
508
00:30:55,912 --> 00:30:57,372
I came by yoga today.
509
00:30:58,789 --> 00:30:59,790
Oh.
510
00:31:00,624 --> 00:31:03,086
Well, I'm taking
a little break.
511
00:31:03,753 --> 00:31:05,296
I thought yoga
was a little break.
512
00:31:05,755 --> 00:31:06,964
It was.
513
00:31:07,924 --> 00:31:09,217
Then I hit you.
514
00:31:10,343 --> 00:31:12,512
You can only take so
much Zen, you know?
515
00:31:12,595 --> 00:31:15,973
Sometimes you
wanna feel something.
516
00:31:18,476 --> 00:31:20,186
You gotta talk
about it sometime.
517
00:31:25,983 --> 00:31:31,281
I used to grow marijuana out in
California, Humboldt County.
518
00:31:31,406 --> 00:31:33,283
One acre, nothing crazy.
519
00:31:33,408 --> 00:31:35,410
Just enough to keep me going.
520
00:31:35,952 --> 00:31:37,120
Goin', like, baked?
521
00:31:37,203 --> 00:31:38,662
Like, pay the rent.
522
00:31:39,247 --> 00:31:41,791
I mean, I smoked it
once in a while.
523
00:31:41,874 --> 00:31:46,837
But mostly I was just a
good old-fashioned drunk,
524
00:31:46,963 --> 00:31:49,090
like my parents
raised me to be.
525
00:31:50,091 --> 00:31:51,509
So the Feds shut you down.
526
00:31:51,675 --> 00:31:53,595
Actually, it was the deer.
527
00:31:54,471 --> 00:31:55,513
The who, now?
528
00:31:56,847 --> 00:31:59,058
Oh, yeah, deer love weed.
529
00:31:59,142 --> 00:32:00,184
Fucks them right up, too.
530
00:32:00,310 --> 00:32:03,771
They start jumping around
all over the place.
531
00:32:03,854 --> 00:32:05,815
Then they come back for more.
532
00:32:05,940 --> 00:32:08,151
And the kicker is,
you can't keep them out.
533
00:32:08,234 --> 00:32:13,197
I tried everything.
Soap shavings, fox pee,
534
00:32:13,323 --> 00:32:16,826
which they sell at the Home
Depot for $120 a gallon.
535
00:32:16,951 --> 00:32:18,828
Seems like you could
have just built a fence.
536
00:32:18,953 --> 00:32:22,706
No, a deer can jump an
eight-foot barb wire fence
537
00:32:22,832 --> 00:32:26,169
with a smile on its face,
like Donald O'Connor.
538
00:32:26,877 --> 00:32:28,254
Get to the meat already.
539
00:32:31,215 --> 00:32:36,513
I got a hunting rifle
and stayed up all night,
540
00:32:36,638 --> 00:32:39,307
four, five times a week.
541
00:32:39,390 --> 00:32:41,267
And finally, one night
542
00:32:41,351 --> 00:32:46,856
I see them rustling around
the edge of my property,
543
00:32:46,981 --> 00:32:50,360
where I was growing
the quality shit,
544
00:32:50,443 --> 00:32:53,737
this hybrid
plant called AK-47,
545
00:32:53,863 --> 00:32:56,866
which the fake
prescription people
546
00:32:56,991 --> 00:32:59,410
eat up like peanuts.
I was pissed.
547
00:32:59,577 --> 00:33:00,578
And drunk?
548
00:33:00,703 --> 00:33:02,372
Oh, honey, that goes
without saying.
549
00:33:03,164 --> 00:33:04,332
So what happened?
550
00:33:06,668 --> 00:33:08,002
I shot him.
551
00:33:10,296 --> 00:33:11,339
And?
552
00:33:12,798 --> 00:33:14,592
And it wasn't a deer.
553
00:33:17,637 --> 00:33:21,724
It was an eight-year-old kid
554
00:33:23,059 --> 00:33:27,104
from the farm next door who
was running away from home
555
00:33:27,230 --> 00:33:31,568
because his dad
took away his Nintendo.
556
00:33:35,572 --> 00:33:37,073
A kid.
557
00:33:39,367 --> 00:33:40,451
Shit.
558
00:33:40,910 --> 00:33:47,500
And they buried him on
their property, in a box.
559
00:33:51,128 --> 00:33:55,174
Work hours means no socializing
whatsoever, inmates.
560
00:33:55,341 --> 00:33:57,134
It was a mistake.
561
00:33:57,760 --> 00:33:58,802
Oh, no.
562
00:34:00,263 --> 00:34:01,514
We're having a moment here.
563
00:34:01,723 --> 00:34:04,434
Shit. I'm sorry.
Carry on.
564
00:34:11,941 --> 00:34:13,401
I don't even
know what Kwanzaa is.
565
00:34:13,484 --> 00:34:14,527
I mean, except
that you're supposed
566
00:34:14,611 --> 00:34:16,613
to wear dashikis and
eat corn and stuff.
567
00:34:16,738 --> 00:34:18,573
Nobody
knows what it is, girl.
568
00:34:18,656 --> 00:34:20,283
But they're taking
Fed money up in here,
569
00:34:20,408 --> 00:34:23,286
so they gotta give all the
traditions equal time.
570
00:34:23,411 --> 00:34:24,704
Hey, you know what?
571
00:34:24,787 --> 00:34:27,290
I think I'm gonna be needin' a
traditional week off from work.
572
00:34:27,373 --> 00:34:30,084
Hey! To honor my African
roots, you feel me?
573
00:34:30,209 --> 00:34:33,379
Uh, huh. Joyous Kwanzaa,
my Nubian sister.
574
00:34:35,465 --> 00:34:38,676
May the Kwanzaa
Elf smile upon ya!
575
00:34:41,095 --> 00:34:42,305
And pull it through the loop.
576
00:34:42,388 --> 00:34:44,599
And you got
a single crochet stitch.
577
00:34:44,682 --> 00:34:45,808
Ah, ha, ha, ha!
Look at that!
578
00:34:45,933 --> 00:34:47,477
Ninety-five thousand
more of those
579
00:34:47,602 --> 00:34:49,395
and you'll have a lovely throw.
580
00:34:49,604 --> 00:34:52,482
Hey, college,
I got words for you.
581
00:35:03,951 --> 00:35:06,454
All right, I'm just gonna give
it to you straight, college,
582
00:35:06,537 --> 00:35:10,833
I've been harboring some really
bad hate in my heart for you.
583
00:35:12,084 --> 00:35:13,670
But I saved you. I got
you out of Psych.
584
00:35:13,836 --> 00:35:16,255
You saved me from some
shit you got me into.
585
00:35:17,340 --> 00:35:18,882
Don't be surprised
if there's not
586
00:35:19,008 --> 00:35:20,677
a national holiday
declared in your name.
587
00:35:20,802 --> 00:35:22,553
You got me
thrown into the SHU...
588
00:35:22,679 --> 00:35:24,096
Who's talkin' right now?
589
00:35:27,684 --> 00:35:29,977
Do you realize that
you almost ruined my life?
590
00:35:30,060 --> 00:35:31,895
I mean, do you?
591
00:35:32,021 --> 00:35:34,691
You made the Almighty God
into a joke,
592
00:35:34,774 --> 00:35:36,984
and a joke ain't nothing to me.
593
00:35:37,151 --> 00:35:40,488
A joke didn't write
me letters up in here,
594
00:35:40,571 --> 00:35:45,159
and a joke didn't give me hope
so I could do my time
595
00:35:45,242 --> 00:35:47,495
and make something out of it.
596
00:35:49,539 --> 00:35:51,290
What do you believe in?
597
00:35:55,044 --> 00:35:57,963
Well, I've always thought that
agnostic was sort of a cop-out.
598
00:35:58,047 --> 00:36:00,216
But you know,
if I had to label it,
599
00:36:00,299 --> 00:36:02,009
I'd say that I'm
a secular humanist.
600
00:36:02,092 --> 00:36:03,177
Which is not to say
I'm not spiritual...
601
00:36:03,260 --> 00:36:05,471
You're not religious, okay?
Just stop.
602
00:36:06,848 --> 00:36:08,098
Stop.
603
00:36:08,932 --> 00:36:10,643
You believe in Hussein Obama?
604
00:36:11,561 --> 00:36:13,855
Electric cars and
Shakespeare books
605
00:36:13,937 --> 00:36:16,065
and do you go out to
eat at restaurants?
606
00:36:18,234 --> 00:36:21,654
I don't have any of that, okay?
All I have is him.
607
00:36:22,321 --> 00:36:23,489
I'm sorry.
608
00:36:23,573 --> 00:36:26,701
Don't ask for my forgiveness. You
should ask for His forgiveness.
609
00:36:26,784 --> 00:36:28,745
You need to get right with him,
610
00:36:28,828 --> 00:36:32,289
and then we'll see that all
this was part of His plan.
611
00:36:32,623 --> 00:36:34,333
And then, we don't
have to fight anymore.
612
00:36:34,417 --> 00:36:36,419
I wasn't planning on fighting with you.
Well, then, just do it.
613
00:36:36,544 --> 00:36:37,587
Right now? Yeah, right
here, right now.
614
00:36:37,712 --> 00:36:38,755
Got somewhere to be?
615
00:36:45,386 --> 00:36:46,429
Dear Jesus...
616
00:36:46,554 --> 00:36:48,138
That's awfully
familiar for somebody
617
00:36:48,264 --> 00:36:50,140
that doesn't give
him the time of day.
618
00:36:50,433 --> 00:36:51,434
Um...
619
00:36:52,351 --> 00:36:55,563
Dear Mr. Christ?
620
00:37:00,067 --> 00:37:01,694
Dear Mr. Christ,
621
00:37:02,612 --> 00:37:07,491
I know that I've done
some things recently
622
00:37:07,658 --> 00:37:12,455
that have not been, have
been up to your standards.
623
00:37:13,456 --> 00:37:16,667
And I feel pretty ashamed.
624
00:37:20,129 --> 00:37:22,214
It's really easy
to point fingers.
625
00:37:23,507 --> 00:37:27,386
And I've done some things lately
I feel pretty lousy about.
626
00:37:29,680 --> 00:37:32,558
And I'm wondering if maybe you could
make things right between us?
627
00:37:32,642 --> 00:37:33,976
Meaning forgiveness?
628
00:37:36,353 --> 00:37:39,816
If I could be forgiven,
that would be really...
629
00:37:41,024 --> 00:37:42,025
Um...
630
00:37:44,153 --> 00:37:46,322
That would be
really comforting.
631
00:37:47,448 --> 00:37:48,699
Amen.
632
00:37:53,329 --> 00:37:54,413
How was that?
633
00:37:55,205 --> 00:37:58,125
I think you took a step
on the right road.
634
00:37:59,084 --> 00:38:00,127
Okay.
635
00:38:05,215 --> 00:38:06,884
Now we just gotta
get you baptized.
636
00:38:10,262 --> 00:38:13,891
I would've looped in the Blessed
Virgin to cover my bases.
637
00:38:14,016 --> 00:38:15,058
But that's me.
638
00:38:20,481 --> 00:38:21,774
Let's try again.
639
00:38:26,028 --> 00:38:27,488
Thanks for coming.
640
00:38:28,030 --> 00:38:29,323
What do you want?
641
00:38:29,782 --> 00:38:33,035
Wow, way to harsh on a dude
when he's down, bro, fuck!
642
00:38:33,202 --> 00:38:36,163
You put your dick in Diaz!
643
00:38:36,246 --> 00:38:40,042
It's not what it sounds like, man.
She wanted me to do it.
644
00:38:42,419 --> 00:38:47,049
Hey, Benny, I think
we're in love.
645
00:38:49,385 --> 00:38:51,387
You poor fucker.
646
00:38:51,470 --> 00:38:52,930
Yep.
647
00:38:53,681 --> 00:38:57,894
That's okay. I mean,
if we have to spend
648
00:38:57,977 --> 00:38:59,896
a little bit of time apart,
I can handle that.
649
00:39:02,398 --> 00:39:04,400
I gotta get her a message.
650
00:39:06,652 --> 00:39:07,778
Will you take it?
651
00:39:07,904 --> 00:39:10,364
I could get in
deep shit for that.
652
00:39:10,447 --> 00:39:13,534
Plus, it's not good for you, man.
It's not healthy.
653
00:39:14,410 --> 00:39:16,787
You need a girl who you
can actually be with.
654
00:39:18,748 --> 00:39:20,249
I'm gonna help you out, Benny.
655
00:39:21,375 --> 00:39:22,543
Perfect.
656
00:39:22,626 --> 00:39:25,170
We've got a shipment
coming in tomorrow
657
00:39:25,254 --> 00:39:28,591
from this vendor
called Neptune's Produce.
658
00:39:29,008 --> 00:39:32,135
Stop the truck, get into
it before they unload it.
659
00:39:32,261 --> 00:39:34,137
Look for a box with a
check mark on the side.
660
00:39:34,263 --> 00:39:35,765
Look, I don't wanna be
involved in anything weird.
661
00:39:35,848 --> 00:39:36,933
It's not weird, it's drugs.
662
00:39:39,810 --> 00:39:43,272
Sputnik in the kitchen
is dealing to the inmates,
663
00:39:43,355 --> 00:39:45,524
turning them into addicts.
It's wrong.
664
00:39:46,650 --> 00:39:51,154
You get that box, bring it to
Caputo, he's gonna be grateful.
665
00:39:51,280 --> 00:39:54,992
Butter him up, he'll probably give
you a raise right on the spot.
666
00:39:55,117 --> 00:39:58,746
We could all use a little
extra cash, am I right?
667
00:40:02,332 --> 00:40:06,420
I was gonna be the hero, but I'm
gonna give you my win, man.
668
00:40:08,005 --> 00:40:09,506
It's your win now.
669
00:40:10,466 --> 00:40:11,508
Why?
670
00:40:13,719 --> 00:40:14,971
Satisfaction.
671
00:40:19,809 --> 00:40:21,435
And this.
672
00:40:24,647 --> 00:40:26,398
I'm not saying yes.
673
00:40:28,985 --> 00:40:32,237
But you will, because
you're my brother.
674
00:40:47,252 --> 00:40:48,420
Fuck.
675
00:40:50,380 --> 00:40:51,882
You were right.
676
00:40:53,634 --> 00:40:55,094
About Larry, you were right.
677
00:40:58,430 --> 00:41:00,975
I think that I've lost him.
Can I?
678
00:41:08,440 --> 00:41:10,985
So all of my cards
are on the table.
679
00:41:13,029 --> 00:41:14,363
Everything.
680
00:41:15,322 --> 00:41:17,658
I'm an emotionally
manipulative narcissist
681
00:41:17,741 --> 00:41:20,327
who bailed on you
when your mother died.
682
00:41:22,204 --> 00:41:25,833
And I'm a ruthless pragmatist who
sold you out and then lied about it.
683
00:41:29,045 --> 00:41:30,462
We suck.
684
00:41:32,006 --> 00:41:33,567
It's kind of a relief,
though, isn't it?
685
00:41:34,884 --> 00:41:37,553
Oh, my God, Piper!
I'm getting whiplash here.
686
00:41:37,887 --> 00:41:39,722
I'm not fucking with you.
687
00:41:41,431 --> 00:41:45,561
I've ruined my life now,
twice, over you.
688
00:41:47,563 --> 00:41:50,816
So, what's the end game here?
689
00:41:50,900 --> 00:41:53,402
When we get out of
prison what's the plan?
690
00:41:54,570 --> 00:41:57,614
Are we gonna move to Vermont and open
a pottery studio and wear Tevas?
691
00:41:57,781 --> 00:41:59,421
That sounds
more like Santa Fe.
692
00:41:59,491 --> 00:42:02,244
I'm being serious.
Are you gonna get a job?
693
00:42:02,327 --> 00:42:03,328
Hmm...
694
00:42:03,412 --> 00:42:05,122
Like a regular person?
695
00:42:05,247 --> 00:42:07,708
I mean, I can't even imagine
what that would look like.
696
00:42:07,875 --> 00:42:09,251
Me neither.
697
00:42:10,878 --> 00:42:13,797
I'm good at moving
large amounts of heroin.
698
00:42:14,256 --> 00:42:16,926
Like, really fucking
brilliant at it.
699
00:42:17,801 --> 00:42:19,720
Other than that, I don't know.
700
00:42:21,013 --> 00:42:22,253
One thing that I
do know is that
701
00:42:22,305 --> 00:42:24,892
I am never, ever
coming back to prison.
702
00:42:25,809 --> 00:42:29,646
Listen, I am not planning on going
back to doing illegal shit.
703
00:42:29,772 --> 00:42:32,024
I'm not planning anything.
704
00:42:32,108 --> 00:42:35,152
I don't know
what's gonna happen,
705
00:42:35,277 --> 00:42:36,904
and that's the point
of being with me.
706
00:42:37,613 --> 00:42:40,323
If you wanna have babies
and remodel your bathroom,
707
00:42:40,449 --> 00:42:43,827
then, please go.
Do. Nest.
708
00:42:46,122 --> 00:42:48,290
If you wanna do X on
a beach in Cambodia
709
00:42:48,415 --> 00:42:50,542
with three strangers in drag...
710
00:42:52,461 --> 00:42:57,883
I'm not saying it's gonna
happen, but it could.
711
00:43:03,013 --> 00:43:04,473
I love Cambodia.
712
00:43:05,891 --> 00:43:07,309
Me too.
713
00:43:15,985 --> 00:43:18,862
Chapman, you blinked.
Vause wins.
714
00:43:18,988 --> 00:43:20,447
Yo, you seen her yet?
715
00:43:20,530 --> 00:43:21,573
Who?
716
00:43:21,949 --> 00:43:24,660
Princess Stephanie of Monaco.
Your roommate.
717
00:43:25,744 --> 00:43:28,330
Lorna drove her back up,
you haven't heard?
718
00:43:28,413 --> 00:43:32,251
Her appeal went kaput. Better sleep
with both eyes open tonight.
719
00:43:34,544 --> 00:43:36,005
Oh, shit.
720
00:43:42,928 --> 00:43:46,389
Inmate, where's your badge?
Inmate, I'm talking to you.
721
00:43:46,515 --> 00:43:49,977
That nail polish is non-regulation, too.
Where did you get that?
722
00:43:50,060 --> 00:43:53,230
I said, where did you get that?
723
00:44:01,071 --> 00:44:02,447
Take your hands
off her, Pelage.
724
00:44:06,285 --> 00:44:07,619
You're headed to Max, inmate.
725
00:44:08,704 --> 00:44:09,705
Doesn't matter.
726
00:44:13,792 --> 00:44:15,336
Get up. Get up!
727
00:44:17,713 --> 00:44:18,755
Come on, you.
728
00:44:28,390 --> 00:44:29,391
What we lookin' at?
729
00:44:29,558 --> 00:44:30,726
Taystee?
730
00:44:42,863 --> 00:44:45,490
You ain't got to
be alone no more.
731
00:44:47,326 --> 00:44:48,409
What is this?
732
00:44:48,535 --> 00:44:51,038
This is me never having
to make mac and cheese
733
00:44:51,121 --> 00:44:52,873
in the common room
microwave again.
734
00:44:52,956 --> 00:44:54,396
It smells like
a salmon farted in it.
735
00:44:54,541 --> 00:44:56,461
You don't know when Miss
Claudette is coming back.
736
00:44:56,501 --> 00:45:00,463
You put your hand on a guard, you
go to Max, you don't come back.
737
00:45:00,589 --> 00:45:02,216
Everybody know that.
738
00:45:02,591 --> 00:45:05,969
We goin' to my bunk, where
Book of Eli never happened.
739
00:45:09,181 --> 00:45:10,349
Hey!
740
00:45:11,641 --> 00:45:12,851
Hey, I get the blanket.
741
00:45:13,018 --> 00:45:14,603
Well, look at you, Miss Thing.
742
00:45:16,605 --> 00:45:21,610
I was her roommate. I took her
shit and I listened to her snore.
743
00:45:22,611 --> 00:45:24,947
The blanket is mine.
744
00:45:25,614 --> 00:45:26,698
I've got three of them.
745
00:45:27,408 --> 00:45:30,202
Kill, Little Boo, kill!
746
00:45:33,372 --> 00:45:35,165
We're working on it.
747
00:45:37,251 --> 00:45:38,585
Good girl.
748
00:46:08,407 --> 00:46:09,574
You wanna talk about it?
749
00:46:10,491 --> 00:46:11,701
Not really.
750
00:46:12,702 --> 00:46:14,063
I have to give
you a titty-twister,
751
00:46:14,079 --> 00:46:15,559
you'll be feelin'
that shit next week.
752
00:46:17,166 --> 00:46:19,168
What they don't tell
you when you get out?
753
00:46:19,293 --> 00:46:21,462
They gonna be up
your ass like the KGB.
754
00:46:21,544 --> 00:46:24,923
Curfew every night, piss in
a cup whenever they say,
755
00:46:25,007 --> 00:46:28,677
you gotta do three job interviews in
a week for jobs you never gonna get.
756
00:46:29,219 --> 00:46:32,014
Probation officer callin'
every minute, checkin' up.
757
00:46:32,473 --> 00:46:34,766
Man, at least in jail
you get dinner.
758
00:46:37,978 --> 00:46:39,355
Ow, man!
What the fuck?
759
00:46:39,438 --> 00:46:41,198
Man, where do you
think you at, Paris Hilton?
760
00:46:42,232 --> 00:46:44,525
Yo, it's bitches in
here doing 15 years
761
00:46:44,609 --> 00:46:46,649
for lettin' their boyfriends
do deals in the kitchen
762
00:46:46,695 --> 00:46:49,781
'cause they was afraid of
getting beat if they said no.
763
00:46:49,865 --> 00:46:52,345
And there's bitches ain't seen
their kids since they was babies,
764
00:46:52,368 --> 00:46:54,370
and them kids got
they own babies now,
765
00:46:54,495 --> 00:46:56,815
or they're runnin' around the
street carryin' guns and shit,
766
00:46:56,872 --> 00:46:58,915
no one watching over 'em.
767
00:46:59,124 --> 00:47:04,004
Yo, I been in here two years
and I got four more.
768
00:47:04,880 --> 00:47:07,383
Eight months ago when
I was waxin' fuckin'
769
00:47:07,466 --> 00:47:10,635
floors in the cafeteria,
my moms passed.
770
00:47:12,179 --> 00:47:13,930
And I wasn't there to say
the shit you supposed to say
771
00:47:14,056 --> 00:47:15,556
to your mom before she gone.
772
00:47:15,891 --> 00:47:18,519
So I know you ain't tellin'
me in my face right now
773
00:47:18,601 --> 00:47:20,145
that you walked
back in this place
774
00:47:20,229 --> 00:47:22,563
'cause freedom was
inconvenient for you?
775
00:47:22,689 --> 00:47:26,235
It ain't like that, P. Minimum
wage is some kinda joke.
776
00:47:26,360 --> 00:47:28,070
I got part-time
workin' at Pizza Hut,
777
00:47:28,153 --> 00:47:31,240
and I still owe the prison
$900 in fees I gotta pay back.
778
00:47:32,074 --> 00:47:34,243
I ain't got no place to stay.
779
00:47:34,575 --> 00:47:39,122
I was sleepin' on the floor in my
second cousin apartment like a dog,
780
00:47:39,580 --> 00:47:42,501
and she still got six
people in two rooms.
781
00:47:42,583 --> 00:47:46,255
One of the bitches stole my check.
I got lice.
782
00:47:46,380 --> 00:47:50,591
Everyone I know is poor,
in jail, or gone.
783
00:47:52,010 --> 00:47:54,804
Don't nobody ask
about how my day went.
784
00:47:54,930 --> 00:47:57,598
Man, I got fucked up
in the head, you know?
785
00:48:00,436 --> 00:48:02,396
I know how to play it here.
786
00:48:02,479 --> 00:48:05,941
Where to be, and what
rules to follow.
787
00:48:07,817 --> 00:48:09,361
I got a bed.
788
00:48:10,779 --> 00:48:12,655
And I got you.
789
00:48:14,324 --> 00:48:15,534
I really missed you.
790
00:48:20,621 --> 00:48:22,874
I didn't mean to let you down.
791
00:48:31,300 --> 00:48:34,886
So what did you do to land
yourself back in here?
792
00:48:35,304 --> 00:48:40,850
Well, first, I got a can
of Rockstar and 100 paper clips.
793
00:48:45,814 --> 00:48:48,275
I found it in the shed
behind Electrical.
794
00:48:49,109 --> 00:48:51,987
If they see us with that, we
both go straight to the SHU.
795
00:48:52,404 --> 00:48:54,406
So don't let them see us.
796
00:48:55,616 --> 00:48:57,658
What kind of voltage are
we talking about here?
797
00:48:58,076 --> 00:49:00,954
No idea. That's what
makes it exciting.
798
00:49:02,372 --> 00:49:04,916
You don't wanna
do it, that's cool.
799
00:49:05,041 --> 00:49:07,628
We just go back to our
regular, prison lives.
800
00:49:08,378 --> 00:49:11,507
Work, sleep, count.
801
00:49:24,019 --> 00:49:26,938
Shit. Oh, my God!
Wait, come on, Jones.
802
00:49:33,612 --> 00:49:39,242
Oh, man! I didn't think it was like that.
Shit. I'm sorry.
803
00:49:40,952 --> 00:49:42,745
No, it's cool.
804
00:49:44,039 --> 00:49:48,084
I feel good.
I feel better.
805
00:49:50,629 --> 00:49:51,880
You're serious?
806
00:49:53,215 --> 00:49:54,550
I kind of needed that.
807
00:49:59,388 --> 00:50:01,640
Here, you gonna go?
808
00:50:06,311 --> 00:50:10,357
You ready to get dunked? I got
towels so don't worry about that.
809
00:50:10,815 --> 00:50:15,278
Oh, God, the baptism thing.
You were serious.
810
00:50:15,612 --> 00:50:18,615
What about me makes you think
I wouldn't be serious?
811
00:50:19,115 --> 00:50:21,076
Good point. Uh...
812
00:50:21,368 --> 00:50:23,412
I have visitation today.
It's Larry's day.
813
00:50:23,537 --> 00:50:26,039
Or was. We haven't talked but I'm
really hoping he'll be there.
814
00:50:26,122 --> 00:50:28,917
So just go after.
This takes a few minutes.
815
00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:31,878
And that's not a lot of time to get
your ticket to the Kingdom of Heaven,
816
00:50:31,961 --> 00:50:36,049
which is forever
and ever, amen.
817
00:50:39,302 --> 00:50:41,054
Wow.
818
00:50:41,137 --> 00:50:44,933
That was a sign. I think
he's back on my side.
819
00:50:46,851 --> 00:50:48,562
How did you sleep, Tiffany?
820
00:50:48,645 --> 00:50:49,770
Who's askin'?
821
00:50:49,896 --> 00:50:51,147
I'm your lawyer.
822
00:50:51,273 --> 00:50:53,873
You ain't my lawyer. My lawyer is
fat and his name is Wesley Weeks.
823
00:50:53,900 --> 00:50:55,902
Wesley Weeks is a
C-minus public defender
824
00:50:55,985 --> 00:50:58,280
who will plead you out without
even looking at your file.
825
00:50:58,363 --> 00:51:00,990
I think you'll find that the Christian
firm of Turro, Payne and Whorton
826
00:51:01,116 --> 00:51:02,596
will serve your
interests much better.
827
00:51:04,453 --> 00:51:05,693
You're gonna get
me out of jail?
828
00:51:05,704 --> 00:51:07,956
Well, if you shoot somebody in
broad daylight, with witnesses,
829
00:51:08,081 --> 00:51:09,666
you're gonna do some
time, that's a fact.
830
00:51:09,790 --> 00:51:12,961
But, I will see
that you do less time.
831
00:51:13,420 --> 00:51:14,963
Couple of
procedural challenges,
832
00:51:15,046 --> 00:51:16,465
plus we're gonna
argue that you did
833
00:51:16,548 --> 00:51:18,300
what you did based on
the moral conviction
834
00:51:18,425 --> 00:51:20,218
that you were saving lives.
835
00:51:20,302 --> 00:51:23,639
Defenseless, innocent lives.
I didn't...
836
00:51:25,098 --> 00:51:26,767
I can't afford a fancy lawyer.
837
00:51:26,933 --> 00:51:28,560
My fees have
already been settled.
838
00:51:28,644 --> 00:51:31,146
And there's a small monthly
stipend going to your family,
839
00:51:31,271 --> 00:51:33,191
to help them while their
daughter serves her time.
840
00:51:34,608 --> 00:51:35,816
How's this being paid for?
841
00:51:36,693 --> 00:51:38,445
By the grace of God.
842
00:51:39,195 --> 00:51:42,157
And also, all your friends.
843
00:51:43,866 --> 00:51:44,993
Good God!
844
00:51:50,791 --> 00:51:53,460
Order in the court. I want
order in this courtroom!
845
00:51:55,545 --> 00:51:57,172
All of you, sit down!
846
00:52:08,684 --> 00:52:10,851
Look, I understand that
this is important to you,
847
00:52:10,977 --> 00:52:12,688
but I don't think...
College?
848
00:52:14,356 --> 00:52:15,732
Don't let me down.
849
00:52:17,858 --> 00:52:20,487
Okay, fine.
Fine, I have 10 minutes.
850
00:52:21,196 --> 00:52:22,238
Perfect.
851
00:52:23,072 --> 00:52:24,115
Running...
852
00:52:25,033 --> 00:52:27,828
I really fucking
needed this, Bennett.
853
00:52:27,952 --> 00:52:29,037
Just doing my job, sir.
854
00:52:29,162 --> 00:52:31,373
This is the kind of
thing I remember when
855
00:52:31,498 --> 00:52:33,834
it's time to move
somebody up the ladder.
856
00:52:33,916 --> 00:52:38,505
That kitchen Commie cunt
is finally going down.
857
00:52:40,674 --> 00:52:41,924
Oh, man!
858
00:52:43,301 --> 00:52:44,344
Beautiful!
859
00:52:48,473 --> 00:52:50,058
I have a whole life
in front of me.
860
00:52:50,225 --> 00:52:54,187
I don't want to spend it
watching "Storage Wars"
861
00:52:54,855 --> 00:52:57,357
She's bored. You should
take her out more.
862
00:52:57,524 --> 00:52:59,526
Well, maybe I would take her out more
if she didn't flirt with other men.
863
00:53:00,694 --> 00:53:02,571
Have you been
acting like a slut?
864
00:53:03,279 --> 00:53:04,823
I have a body!
865
00:53:04,947 --> 00:53:07,450
I can't help it if people look.
866
00:53:07,659 --> 00:53:10,245
She says it's not her fault
if other people look at her.
867
00:53:10,370 --> 00:53:11,705
Maybe you're too jealous.
868
00:53:12,121 --> 00:53:14,165
All I want is a nice quiet
life, is that so much to ask?
869
00:53:15,375 --> 00:53:17,335
He wants peace and quiet.
870
00:53:19,045 --> 00:53:21,798
He's got a
government job, dummy.
871
00:53:22,048 --> 00:53:23,633
It could be much worse.
872
00:53:27,429 --> 00:53:30,265
His toenails scratch me in bed.
873
00:53:31,600 --> 00:53:33,435
Okay, you have to
get a pedicure.
874
00:53:33,560 --> 00:53:35,520
The long toenails are a problem.
875
00:53:37,439 --> 00:53:38,565
Caputo wants to see you.
876
00:53:38,857 --> 00:53:41,276
I'm busy. I'd go
now if I were you.
877
00:53:45,363 --> 00:53:47,407
That little bitch Mendez.
878
00:53:49,284 --> 00:53:51,327
Couldn't go down like a man.
879
00:53:51,494 --> 00:53:52,995
I'm confused here.
880
00:53:56,040 --> 00:53:59,335
If it goes bad,
take care of my girls.
881
00:54:01,212 --> 00:54:02,963
Bennett, explain
this immediately.
882
00:54:05,300 --> 00:54:06,340
Bennett!
883
00:54:06,426 --> 00:54:09,262
I need to talk about
grocery money.
884
00:54:12,808 --> 00:54:13,934
Behold!
885
00:54:14,058 --> 00:54:17,771
I bring the lost
sheep back to the 99.
886
00:54:18,146 --> 00:54:21,232
All right, as you know, we don't
have a river to dunk you in,
887
00:54:21,316 --> 00:54:23,109
but we cleaned
out the muck sink.
888
00:54:23,192 --> 00:54:25,528
And yeah, you might just
wanna take off your shirt.
889
00:54:25,695 --> 00:54:27,906
Okay! Nope, see,
I can't do this.
890
00:54:27,988 --> 00:54:29,240
I'm sorry.
891
00:54:29,324 --> 00:54:31,242
I really want us to get
along, I do, but I can't
892
00:54:31,326 --> 00:54:32,702
pretend to believe
in something I don't.
893
00:54:32,828 --> 00:54:34,454
And I don't.
894
00:54:34,621 --> 00:54:36,748
Chapman, we've all
had our doubts.
895
00:54:36,915 --> 00:54:38,999
No, see, this isn't doubts.
896
00:54:39,626 --> 00:54:43,505
I believe in science,
I believe in evolution.
897
00:54:43,672 --> 00:54:44,798
I believe in Nate Silver
898
00:54:44,881 --> 00:54:46,842
and Neil deGrasse Tyson
and Christopher Hitchens,
899
00:54:46,925 --> 00:54:49,009
although I do admit, he could
be kind of an asshole.
900
00:54:50,470 --> 00:54:52,054
I cannot get behind
some supreme being
901
00:54:52,180 --> 00:54:53,556
who weighs in on
the Tony Awards
902
00:54:53,682 --> 00:54:55,562
while a million people
get wacked with machetes.
903
00:54:55,642 --> 00:54:57,644
I don't believe a billion
Indians are going to hell,
904
00:54:57,727 --> 00:55:00,020
I don't think we get cancer
to learn life lessons,
905
00:55:00,146 --> 00:55:01,747
and I don't believe
that people die young
906
00:55:01,773 --> 00:55:03,191
because God
needs another angel.
907
00:55:03,316 --> 00:55:06,152
I think it's just bullshit, and on
some level, I think we all know that.
908
00:55:06,235 --> 00:55:07,529
I mean, don't you?
909
00:55:08,738 --> 00:55:11,157
The angel thing does
seem kind of desperate.
910
00:55:11,908 --> 00:55:13,068
I thought you was a Christian.
911
00:55:14,202 --> 00:55:17,205
I am, but I got some questions.
912
00:55:20,166 --> 00:55:23,252
Look, I understand
that religion makes it easier
913
00:55:23,378 --> 00:55:27,047
to deal with all of the random
shitty things that happen to us.
914
00:55:28,299 --> 00:55:32,345
And I wish I could get on that
ride, I'm sure I would be happier.
915
00:55:34,806 --> 00:55:35,891
But I can't.
916
00:55:37,183 --> 00:55:40,896
Feelings aren't enough.
I need it to be real.
917
00:55:41,646 --> 00:55:43,023
I gotta go.
918
00:55:43,272 --> 00:55:45,107
I tried to be your friend.
919
00:55:46,150 --> 00:55:48,444
I hope he makes you very happy.
920
00:55:50,279 --> 00:55:51,573
Excuse me.
921
00:55:53,992 --> 00:55:55,075
Hello?
922
00:55:55,201 --> 00:55:56,703
I'm looking for
Natalie Figueroa.
923
00:55:56,786 --> 00:55:57,913
You found her.
924
00:55:58,038 --> 00:55:59,414
Ms. Figueroa,
this is Andrew Nance
925
00:55:59,497 --> 00:56:01,750
calling from The City Post,
online edition.
926
00:56:01,875 --> 00:56:05,085
I recently caught a public radio
interview with Larry Bloom.
927
00:56:05,169 --> 00:56:08,590
He's engaged to a Litchfield
inmate named Piper Chapman?
928
00:56:08,757 --> 00:56:10,842
I'm sorry, I've never
heard of this person.
929
00:56:10,926 --> 00:56:12,594
Oh. Well in his interview,
930
00:56:12,677 --> 00:56:14,971
Mr. Bloom mentioned some cutbacks
at Litchfield this year.
931
00:56:15,095 --> 00:56:17,974
The closing of the track, for instance,
the GED program shutting down,
932
00:56:18,098 --> 00:56:20,602
medications switched to generics,
those kinds of things.
933
00:56:20,727 --> 00:56:23,448
All of which seem to have been
attributed to budgetary considerations?
934
00:56:23,563 --> 00:56:25,941
Well, we do the best
with what we've got,
935
00:56:26,066 --> 00:56:28,359
but there's always a bottom
line to consider, obviously.
936
00:56:28,526 --> 00:56:30,319
I understand that, obviously.
937
00:56:30,445 --> 00:56:33,281
But, I did some digging into the
budget allocation for New York
938
00:56:33,406 --> 00:56:35,617
and as it turns out, Litchfield
actually got an increase
939
00:56:35,700 --> 00:56:39,161
over the last five
years of $2.3 million.
940
00:56:40,622 --> 00:56:43,750
So, what I'm wondering is,
where did all that money go?
941
00:56:46,335 --> 00:56:48,128
I'll have to look into that.
942
00:56:48,337 --> 00:56:49,737
As I understand it,
you're in charge
943
00:56:49,798 --> 00:56:51,131
of day-to-day
operations at the prison...
944
00:56:51,257 --> 00:56:53,217
I said I'd look into it.
945
00:57:06,314 --> 00:57:08,148
I'm really glad
that you're here.
946
00:57:13,321 --> 00:57:15,531
Listen, neither of us understood
how crazy this was gonna be.
947
00:57:15,657 --> 00:57:17,575
We thought, "Sure,
we'll get married after."
948
00:57:17,659 --> 00:57:19,619
Like, we were just gonna
pick up where we left off.
949
00:57:21,830 --> 00:57:26,250
But, Piper, this, this is
changing you, it's changing me.
950
00:57:28,544 --> 00:57:29,963
You didn't ask for any of this.
951
00:57:30,212 --> 00:57:33,133
No. But we're here.
952
00:57:35,343 --> 00:57:37,470
It's messy and weird
953
00:57:38,554 --> 00:57:42,558
and we're gonna do stupid and
lonely and embarrassing shit.
954
00:57:42,684 --> 00:57:45,854
And either we
can do it together,
955
00:57:45,937 --> 00:57:48,356
get married, now,
in this room, possibly,
956
00:57:48,439 --> 00:57:49,879
as soon as we can
file the paperwork,
957
00:57:49,899 --> 00:57:53,235
and do it as
husband and wife or...
958
00:58:00,035 --> 00:58:01,119
Or we have to break up.
959
00:58:01,202 --> 00:58:03,705
Because this thing that we're
doing now, this in-between?
960
00:58:05,498 --> 00:58:06,541
I can't.
961
00:58:09,752 --> 00:58:10,962
So,
962
00:58:14,549 --> 00:58:16,300
what do you say?
963
00:58:21,263 --> 00:58:23,058
You know what I got to do.
964
00:58:23,141 --> 00:58:24,600
Hmm? Hmm?
965
00:58:24,726 --> 00:58:26,186
She disrespected me.
966
00:58:26,435 --> 00:58:28,354
Mmm-hmm.
Mmm-hmm.
967
00:58:28,980 --> 00:58:30,398
Now,
968
00:58:31,440 --> 00:58:33,735
I'm gonna have to kill her.
969
00:58:34,235 --> 00:58:44,782
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com