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Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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Did you get in trouble, too?
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00:02:09,867 --> 00:02:13,912
Sometimes the feelings inside
me get messy like dirt.
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00:02:14,163 --> 00:02:15,664
And I like to clean things.
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Pretend the dirt
is the feelings.
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00:02:18,917 --> 00:02:20,836
This floor is my mind.
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That is called coping.
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And the COs don't care
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'cause they like things clean.
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And that is called symbiosis.
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Suzanne, listen.
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00:02:38,937 --> 00:02:42,399
Those things that
Larry said on the radio?
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They sounded a lot worse
than they really were.
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And when I said those things to
him, it was before I knew you.
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Before I knew what
a nice person you are.
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And you have to admit that
you come on a little strong.
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It's okay, dandelion.
You know why?
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I used to spend
a lot of time thinking
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00:03:03,879 --> 00:03:05,422
how I could make you love me.
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Like, if I had
long pretty hair,
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or if I made a chocolate
cake with frosting,
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or if I had a green bicycle.
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No! You are great
the way that you are.
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I know.
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00:03:18,810 --> 00:03:22,439
Because the answer is,
you're not a nice person.
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You're a mean person.
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00:03:28,195 --> 00:03:32,241
And I used to think you
was a yellow dandelion
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but you're all dried up
with the puff blown off.
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And it's not your fault.
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00:03:38,413 --> 00:03:42,417
You are who you are,
like, I am who I am.
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00:03:43,794 --> 00:03:44,795
I'm not mean.
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I didn't mean
to be mean to you.
33
00:03:51,927 --> 00:03:54,221
You gotta start
from the inside out
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or else you'll
step on the clean.
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00:04:13,657 --> 00:04:14,783
Hey.
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00:04:15,450 --> 00:04:17,327
Look at you,
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waking up for crack
of dawn I-told-you-so.
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That's dedication.
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00:04:21,999 --> 00:04:23,500
I have to pee.
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But as long as I'm here,
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how's that, uh, spontaneous
confession treating you?
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Shittier than I thought,
which is impressive,
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considering I'm literally
scrubbing toilets.
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You're sucking all of the
joy out of my gloat.
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You gonna tell me what
happened with the fiance?
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Oh, you know,
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I accused him of feeding
on my misfortune
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with the sensitivity
of a vampire squid,
49
00:04:46,773 --> 00:04:49,860
and then he accused
me of betraying him
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in a disgusting, yet totally
predictable manner.
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So, we're in a good place.
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I'm sorry, Pipes.
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And that was before
he told me that his father,
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AKA my lawyer,
looked at the records
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and found out that it was you
who ratted me out to the Feds.
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Fuck.
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00:05:20,765 --> 00:05:23,393
Don't worry about it. I
mean, fool me once, right?
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Okay, listen...
Alex.
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I'm over it. Really.
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It's fine.
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You got mine?
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Caputo's special!
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You know, you're not supposed to
take food out of here, Sister.
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Maybe we
can bend that rule a bit.
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00:06:02,349 --> 00:06:04,976
At my age you, you've got to
keep your blood sugar steady.
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00:06:05,102 --> 00:06:06,477
I dip at around 10:00.
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00:06:07,938 --> 00:06:09,273
Don't worry about it.
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Oatmeal and cheese
sandwich, no crusts.
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00:06:19,032 --> 00:06:20,658
You should eat something.
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He's coming.
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I like the
shape of your ears.
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What else do you
like the shape of?
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You know what I miss?
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Mimosas.
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I'm gonna need your help
with something.
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You missed breakfast.
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I needed to sleep
more than I needed eggs.
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00:07:01,992 --> 00:07:03,994
Miss Claudette,
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00:07:04,119 --> 00:07:06,495
I want to apologize to you for
everything that Larry said.
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00:07:06,621 --> 00:07:07,831
I had no idea it was gonna...
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00:07:07,956 --> 00:07:10,500
I know the stories they
say about me, Chapman.
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00:07:10,583 --> 00:07:12,703
I wish you'd thought enough
of me to ask for the truth.
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If you're getting sick,
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00:07:19,592 --> 00:07:20,677
please keep your hands clean
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00:07:20,802 --> 00:07:22,553
and stay on your side
of the room.
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00:07:23,305 --> 00:07:26,350
Tomorrow is a big day for me
and I won't have you ruin it.
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00:07:26,475 --> 00:07:28,018
That seems to be
a talent of yours.
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You ain't said
nothin' all morning.
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00:07:34,899 --> 00:07:36,943
There ain't nothing
worth saying.
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00:07:37,568 --> 00:07:39,369
And they say there's no
such thing as miracles.
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00:07:41,365 --> 00:07:43,533
Yikes.
No scrappy rejoinder?
92
00:07:44,659 --> 00:07:46,260
They must have put
you on the scary meds.
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00:07:46,870 --> 00:07:48,231
Why ain't you
throwing back at her?
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00:07:48,372 --> 00:07:49,914
'Cause there ain't no
point, Leanne, all right?
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00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:51,582
I got beat.
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00:07:51,708 --> 00:07:54,002
Ain't nobody up there
looking out for me no more.
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00:07:54,585 --> 00:07:55,879
I'm looking out for you.
98
00:07:56,296 --> 00:07:57,630
You know,
he finally come to me,
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00:07:57,714 --> 00:07:59,634
after all this time that
I've been following him.
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00:07:59,674 --> 00:08:01,801
I finally heard him talk to me,
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00:08:01,885 --> 00:08:04,888
him saying how I was
his girl, I was.
102
00:08:06,139 --> 00:08:07,307
Turns out it weren't him.
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00:08:07,391 --> 00:08:08,892
No, it was Chapman,
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00:08:09,393 --> 00:08:11,102
the bitch devil of Litchfield.
105
00:08:11,769 --> 00:08:14,189
Well, you missed her
boyfriend's crazy radio show.
106
00:08:14,356 --> 00:08:16,483
Hey. Chapman put
her ass on the line
107
00:08:16,566 --> 00:08:18,693
to get you out
of Psych, you know?
108
00:08:18,860 --> 00:08:20,260
She's cleaning toilets
every morning
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00:08:20,278 --> 00:08:21,612
like Private
"fucking" Benjamin.
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00:08:22,822 --> 00:08:25,909
Look, I ain't looking
for revenge, okay?
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00:08:27,660 --> 00:08:29,746
She'd probably
kick my ass anyway.
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00:08:29,913 --> 00:08:33,624
No way, Tucky. You're
small but you got spit.
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00:08:33,750 --> 00:08:35,043
Man, do you know what it means,
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when there ain't nobody up
there punishing the evildoers?
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00:08:38,255 --> 00:08:41,383
It means there ain't nobody giving out
prizes for the good ones, neither.
116
00:08:42,092 --> 00:08:45,303
'Cause there ain't no judge,
there ain't no justice.
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We just crawl around this Earth
like ants and then we die.
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You don't gotta kill it.
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00:08:59,859 --> 00:09:02,070
I'm just thinking
about you, is all.
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00:09:02,779 --> 00:09:03,988
I mean, you
show 'em a baby,
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00:09:04,114 --> 00:09:05,634
you get good money
from the government.
122
00:09:06,991 --> 00:09:08,326
Plus WIC packages.
123
00:09:09,660 --> 00:09:12,205
All kinds of things
in them packages you get.
124
00:09:12,289 --> 00:09:15,041
Cheese, peanut butter.
125
00:09:16,460 --> 00:09:17,627
Baby food.
126
00:09:18,878 --> 00:09:21,423
Hell, you can make a good
casserole out of baby food.
127
00:09:21,506 --> 00:09:24,134
Sprinkle some Fritos
on top, tuna.
128
00:09:24,926 --> 00:09:29,347
Tasty as hell, and baby
food is vegetables.
129
00:09:29,556 --> 00:09:31,157
Well, if you're eating
all the baby food,
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00:09:31,266 --> 00:09:33,059
what's the baby supposed to eat?
131
00:09:35,479 --> 00:09:36,980
Suit yourself.
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00:09:37,272 --> 00:09:38,482
I'm not keeping it, Arlen.
133
00:09:40,942 --> 00:09:42,652
You never keep it.
134
00:09:44,862 --> 00:09:49,033
Look, my cousin, Sierra, she had a
baby down at County last summer,
135
00:09:49,284 --> 00:09:50,577
and after they drug tested her,
136
00:09:50,660 --> 00:09:52,162
they took the baby boy away
137
00:09:52,245 --> 00:09:56,040
and they arrested her for
endangering a minor, okay?
138
00:09:56,874 --> 00:09:59,169
So, I think babies
are cute and all
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00:09:59,252 --> 00:10:01,963
but I ain't going
to jail for this fucker.
140
00:10:03,507 --> 00:10:05,342
Well, another idea is,
141
00:10:08,428 --> 00:10:09,846
you could stop doing drugs.
142
00:10:26,321 --> 00:10:29,407
For real, though, I need a
ride tomorrow to the clinic.
143
00:10:31,409 --> 00:10:35,288
Hell, tomorrow I gotta do
the thing with the hammers.
144
00:10:47,342 --> 00:10:48,468
Jesus!
145
00:10:48,552 --> 00:10:49,636
Hey.
146
00:10:52,138 --> 00:10:53,848
You know what's overrated?
147
00:10:54,974 --> 00:10:56,226
Toast.
148
00:11:01,022 --> 00:11:02,190
Wanna fuck in the pantry?
149
00:11:02,315 --> 00:11:04,234
Hey!
Get out of here.
150
00:11:04,359 --> 00:11:05,569
You're gonna get us shot.
151
00:11:05,943 --> 00:11:07,362
I'm serious.
152
00:11:09,030 --> 00:11:10,871
I was so afraid about you
finding out the truth,
153
00:11:10,948 --> 00:11:12,576
but now it's out,
and it's okay.
154
00:11:13,034 --> 00:11:14,619
It's kind of a rush.
155
00:11:15,579 --> 00:11:17,455
Cool thing about sex
in an industrial kitchen
156
00:11:17,581 --> 00:11:18,789
is there's a ton
of margarine in here.
157
00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:20,041
Stop it, Alex.
158
00:11:20,124 --> 00:11:21,125
Come on, babe.
159
00:11:21,251 --> 00:11:23,002
Let's celebrate how totally
fine you are with everything.
160
00:11:23,127 --> 00:11:24,212
You're freaking me out.
161
00:11:24,295 --> 00:11:25,338
You ain't seen nothing yet.
162
00:11:25,505 --> 00:11:26,839
I said stop it.
What?
163
00:11:26,923 --> 00:11:29,217
Can't a girl be totally overcome
with desire for someone
164
00:11:29,300 --> 00:11:30,385
who's being so cool,
165
00:11:30,468 --> 00:11:31,511
and so forgiving?
166
00:11:31,595 --> 00:11:33,179
We're not okay!
167
00:11:35,764 --> 00:11:37,016
This is not fine!
168
00:11:37,100 --> 00:11:39,603
Good. Now we could
talk about it.
169
00:11:39,768 --> 00:11:40,808
It that what this is about?
170
00:11:40,937 --> 00:11:42,771
Yeah. That's what this is about.
171
00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:46,610
You find out that I personally
got you thrown in here
172
00:11:46,735 --> 00:11:49,487
at the exact moment your manicured
fingers were like closing
173
00:11:49,613 --> 00:11:50,697
on the yuppie brass ring,
174
00:11:50,779 --> 00:11:52,990
and somehow you don't
have a problem with it?
175
00:11:53,116 --> 00:11:54,284
You are so full of shit.
176
00:11:54,451 --> 00:11:55,744
Fuck you.
177
00:11:56,785 --> 00:11:58,288
Fuck you, Alex.
178
00:11:58,913 --> 00:12:00,206
You want me to be angry?
179
00:12:00,290 --> 00:12:03,460
Well, guess what, I'm really fucking
angry, because I love you, Alex.
180
00:12:05,128 --> 00:12:08,214
I love you
and I fucking hate you.
181
00:12:09,507 --> 00:12:11,635
I have really been trying
to keep my shit together,
182
00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:15,179
but if you really need to see
me Hulk out over this...
183
00:12:18,057 --> 00:12:19,601
Larry left you, didn't he?
184
00:12:23,146 --> 00:12:26,650
And that's why you're
fake-fine with me.
185
00:12:27,651 --> 00:12:29,653
Right now you're willing to
overlook pretty much anything
186
00:12:29,778 --> 00:12:33,406
because ultimately you are
just terrified of being alone.
187
00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:38,202
Is that what I am to you?
188
00:12:38,536 --> 00:12:43,500
A fucking binky for you to
suck on until you feel better?
189
00:12:46,544 --> 00:12:47,712
Look at me.
190
00:12:52,801 --> 00:12:54,385
Why did you do it?
191
00:12:54,552 --> 00:12:56,429
They were offering less time.
192
00:12:57,180 --> 00:12:59,140
A lot less time, depending
on how much I gave them.
193
00:13:00,057 --> 00:13:03,687
I hadn't seen or heard
from you in eight years.
194
00:13:03,852 --> 00:13:07,398
You weren't even real anymore,
which made it easier.
195
00:13:09,150 --> 00:13:12,153
And I was pretty sure one of the
other guys would give you up anyway.
196
00:13:12,278 --> 00:13:15,448
And if I'm being really honest,
197
00:13:15,532 --> 00:13:17,116
I was still pissed at you.
198
00:13:18,368 --> 00:13:19,786
For leaving.
199
00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:22,288
For my mom.
200
00:13:23,540 --> 00:13:27,711
So, yeah, at that moment
I probably was just, like,
201
00:13:27,836 --> 00:13:29,754
"Fuck you," you know?
202
00:13:32,256 --> 00:13:33,717
I'm not proud of myself.
203
00:13:33,842 --> 00:13:35,385
You lied to me.
204
00:13:36,553 --> 00:13:38,304
When I first got here
you could've given me
205
00:13:38,388 --> 00:13:39,639
this whole speech right then.
206
00:13:41,057 --> 00:13:43,059
I wanted you to like me.
207
00:13:44,893 --> 00:13:46,062
I still do.
208
00:13:46,855 --> 00:13:50,233
Maybe you should've thought
that all the way through.
209
00:14:02,412 --> 00:14:03,413
Ugh.
210
00:14:03,496 --> 00:14:04,997
This isn't even
remotely coffee.
211
00:14:05,707 --> 00:14:07,291
No, it's dandelions.
212
00:14:07,792 --> 00:14:09,544
Which are loaded
with potassium, man.
213
00:14:09,627 --> 00:14:12,004
Everyone thinks potassium
is all about the bananas,
214
00:14:12,088 --> 00:14:13,964
but that is
banana-lobby bullshit.
215
00:14:17,594 --> 00:14:19,178
She does have a point
about the radio thing,
216
00:14:19,262 --> 00:14:20,889
I'll cop to that.
217
00:14:20,971 --> 00:14:22,766
She's the most interesting
thing about me right now,
218
00:14:22,849 --> 00:14:25,268
and I used that.
Mmm.
219
00:14:25,685 --> 00:14:28,062
And I guess it was a dick move.
220
00:14:28,145 --> 00:14:30,481
But that doesn't make it
okay that she cheated on me.
221
00:14:30,690 --> 00:14:32,817
No, cheating
is a strong word, pal.
222
00:14:33,443 --> 00:14:35,445
Sorry, is there
another word for
223
00:14:35,528 --> 00:14:37,614
"fucking someone other than
the person you promised,
224
00:14:37,697 --> 00:14:39,574
"in the very recent past,
225
00:14:39,657 --> 00:14:41,367
"to fuck exclusively forever"?
226
00:14:41,618 --> 00:14:43,738
Uh, no. I'm just saying that
this "someone" was a girl,
227
00:14:43,787 --> 00:14:44,954
which isn't really cheating.
228
00:14:46,038 --> 00:14:48,958
Like, you and Piper
play squash together.
229
00:14:49,083 --> 00:14:52,295
And if in her downtime she
joins a softball team, then...
230
00:14:52,462 --> 00:14:54,631
That's the bigger problem
with this whole thing.
231
00:14:54,756 --> 00:14:56,466
She fucked a woman.
232
00:14:56,591 --> 00:14:58,593
So what, is she gay now?
233
00:14:59,594 --> 00:15:04,515
I don't know about "now." I just
think that she is what she is, man.
234
00:15:05,850 --> 00:15:07,351
Which is what exactly?
235
00:15:07,518 --> 00:15:09,687
I'm gonna go ahead and guess
that one of the issues here
236
00:15:09,813 --> 00:15:13,274
is your need to say that a
person is exactly anything.
237
00:15:18,655 --> 00:15:20,657
I think it might be over.
238
00:15:25,870 --> 00:15:27,288
Uh...
No offense, Bloomer,
239
00:15:27,371 --> 00:15:30,124
but it's super weird
that I'm in the middle here.
240
00:15:31,375 --> 00:15:32,655
You know,
one of the main reasons
241
00:15:32,669 --> 00:15:34,629
that I live 110 miles
from civilization
242
00:15:34,712 --> 00:15:37,214
is I'm kind of allergic
to other people's drama.
243
00:15:37,340 --> 00:15:40,384
Including, and sometimes especially
when it involves my sister.
244
00:15:40,510 --> 00:15:42,386
That's kind of the whole point,
245
00:15:42,512 --> 00:15:43,847
you know what I'm saying?
246
00:15:44,514 --> 00:15:47,558
Yeah. I know. Uh...
You want me to take off?
247
00:15:47,892 --> 00:15:50,520
No, man. Absolutely chill
here for a few days
248
00:15:50,603 --> 00:15:51,855
if it helps you out.
249
00:15:51,980 --> 00:15:53,606
I would just really
enjoy not being involved
250
00:15:53,690 --> 00:15:56,651
in any kind
of decision-making process.
251
00:15:56,734 --> 00:15:59,415
And respect the limitations of the septic system.
252
00:15:59,487 --> 00:16:01,238
It's touch-and-go
as it is.
253
00:16:06,285 --> 00:16:07,286
Holy shit.
254
00:16:12,542 --> 00:16:14,460
Everything okay?
Dude, I'm engaged!
255
00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:34,981
Mr. Caputo, I gotta
make a complaint
256
00:16:35,064 --> 00:16:37,025
about the fungus in
the Spanish showers.
257
00:16:37,107 --> 00:16:38,108
Talk to a CO about that.
258
00:16:38,234 --> 00:16:39,514
I did. They told
me to come to you
259
00:16:39,569 --> 00:16:41,988
because you were the only one that
could deal with this from high up.
260
00:16:42,071 --> 00:16:43,072
I bet they did.
261
00:16:43,155 --> 00:16:47,744
I got a serious case
underneath my big toenail.
262
00:16:48,369 --> 00:16:52,749
It is all squishy
and green under there.
263
00:16:52,832 --> 00:16:53,917
As a matter of fact,
let me show you.
264
00:16:54,042 --> 00:16:56,878
No. That will absolutely
not be necessary.
265
00:16:57,086 --> 00:16:59,797
Well, could you at least get Crazy
Eyes over to the light brown side?
266
00:16:59,923 --> 00:17:02,341
I mean, she's keeping the ghetto
cleaner than a nun's chocha, mira.
267
00:17:02,425 --> 00:17:05,094
And another thing,
between my pinkie toe
268
00:17:05,177 --> 00:17:07,764
and my ring toe, it is
bad news, bad news!
269
00:17:07,889 --> 00:17:09,766
So when I go to medical
call and I show them,
270
00:17:09,849 --> 00:17:11,601
they write that shit down,
271
00:17:11,684 --> 00:17:14,228
I gotta let them know
that I told you guys.
272
00:17:14,437 --> 00:17:16,022
What happened
to your shower shoes?
273
00:17:16,230 --> 00:17:17,481
So I just passed out
sitting there like that,
274
00:17:17,607 --> 00:17:19,487
and then when I woke up
my zoris, they were gone,
275
00:17:19,525 --> 00:17:20,568
right off my feet.
276
00:17:20,651 --> 00:17:24,864
Which reminds me, stealing, that's
another problem we've been having.
277
00:17:27,742 --> 00:17:29,103
Well, what are you
gonna do, right?
278
00:17:29,118 --> 00:17:30,620
At least we got our sanity.
279
00:17:32,288 --> 00:17:34,415
Oh, look at that.
Ten of jack.
280
00:17:34,749 --> 00:17:38,962
Mr. Caputo, I think I heard somebody
crying in the utility closet.
281
00:17:39,087 --> 00:17:40,296
Oh, well, we can't have that.
282
00:17:40,379 --> 00:17:42,423
I'm just saying
'cause we had that suicide
283
00:17:42,506 --> 00:17:44,008
and you know
how these girls are.
284
00:17:44,133 --> 00:17:46,761
They get an idea in their heads
and if you don't watch out
285
00:17:46,844 --> 00:17:49,639
they start offing themselves every
time they get their period.
286
00:17:49,722 --> 00:17:52,016
I know you guys wrote a really
encouraging memo about it,
287
00:17:52,141 --> 00:17:53,225
but truth be told,
288
00:17:53,309 --> 00:17:55,895
I'm not sure
everybody here can read.
289
00:17:55,979 --> 00:17:57,981
I mean, I would
look into it myself
290
00:17:58,106 --> 00:17:59,941
but I got too much empathy.
291
00:18:00,066 --> 00:18:01,275
Lays me low.
292
00:18:01,442 --> 00:18:03,193
If I am not home
in my massage chair
293
00:18:03,319 --> 00:18:05,738
holding a glass of Wild
Turkey in 25 minutes,
294
00:18:05,822 --> 00:18:07,782
I am holding you
personally responsible.
295
00:18:12,912 --> 00:18:16,332
Yeah. That's it, baby. Faster.
296
00:18:18,167 --> 00:18:19,877
Seriously, faster.
297
00:18:21,211 --> 00:18:23,131
Oh, my God.
Here it comes.
298
00:18:23,213 --> 00:18:27,384
Oh, God! Oh, God!
I, I love you. Oh, God!
299
00:18:29,219 --> 00:18:31,097
Christ on a cross.
300
00:18:38,104 --> 00:18:39,563
You seem very chipper
this morning.
301
00:18:40,106 --> 00:18:43,026
My lawyer thinks the judge
is leaning our way.
302
00:18:43,109 --> 00:18:45,402
We find out this afternoon.
303
00:18:47,030 --> 00:18:48,656
Oh, I have something for you.
304
00:18:50,867 --> 00:18:52,409
Well, honestly,
I got it for myself,
305
00:18:52,535 --> 00:18:54,203
but I figured you could use it.
306
00:18:55,621 --> 00:18:56,747
For your special day.
307
00:18:56,873 --> 00:18:58,624
I don't know
if that is my color.
308
00:18:58,749 --> 00:19:00,668
Hold out your hand.
309
00:19:11,929 --> 00:19:14,306
You have any big plans
if this all works out?
310
00:19:14,765 --> 00:19:16,767
There is someone
waiting for me.
311
00:19:16,893 --> 00:19:18,728
That is plan enough.
312
00:19:18,978 --> 00:19:22,272
And I'm going to eat
dinner at dinner time.
313
00:19:23,482 --> 00:19:26,694
At 7:00,
like a person.
314
00:19:27,987 --> 00:19:28,988
What do you think?
315
00:19:30,239 --> 00:19:31,741
Pretty.
Hmm.
316
00:19:53,512 --> 00:19:54,638
Fuck me running.
317
00:19:54,764 --> 00:19:57,600
Are you trying to kill the
warden, Joe, is that it?
318
00:19:57,683 --> 00:19:59,185
Are you trying to lay him
out flat with a stroke?
319
00:19:59,268 --> 00:20:01,437
Because hired fucking assassins
320
00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:02,688
could not be doing
a better job on him
321
00:20:02,772 --> 00:20:04,356
than you are right now.
322
00:20:04,732 --> 00:20:06,025
It was an isolated incident.
323
00:20:06,150 --> 00:20:08,485
Oh, right. Like the
hanging two weeks ago.
324
00:20:08,611 --> 00:20:10,780
Or the maple syrup situation
before that.
325
00:20:10,905 --> 00:20:12,985
An armadillo could run this
place better than you can,
326
00:20:12,990 --> 00:20:14,033
I swear to God.
327
00:20:14,117 --> 00:20:15,952
I can't be everywhere.
328
00:20:16,660 --> 00:20:19,789
You can't blame me
for this scumbag deciding
329
00:20:19,914 --> 00:20:22,458
last night was his go time
to start raping people.
330
00:20:22,541 --> 00:20:25,086
Whoa, whoa, whoa. We are not
talking about a rape here.
331
00:20:25,795 --> 00:20:27,797
We're not using the "R" word.
332
00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:31,050
A CO fucks an inmate
against her will...
333
00:20:31,259 --> 00:20:34,178
Did she scream?
Was she crying?
334
00:20:34,303 --> 00:20:36,722
These girls throwing
themselves at COs
335
00:20:36,806 --> 00:20:37,848
thinking they can
get out of here
336
00:20:37,974 --> 00:20:39,134
and snag a government pension.
337
00:20:39,183 --> 00:20:40,392
Read the rules, Fig.
338
00:20:40,476 --> 00:20:42,478
The girl can't give consent
even if she wants to.
339
00:20:42,645 --> 00:20:47,650
Listen to me. We are not putting
rape on the record right now.
340
00:20:49,318 --> 00:20:52,780
Mendez is gonna take a
little leave without pay.
341
00:20:53,990 --> 00:20:57,160
Uh, the stress of the job is
getting to him, etcetera.
342
00:20:57,618 --> 00:21:00,663
Frankly, we could use the money,
the budget is shot to hell.
343
00:21:00,788 --> 00:21:05,001
I am going to sell this
to the warden as a plus.
344
00:21:08,254 --> 00:21:11,340
It's getting a little old
cleaning up your messes, Joe.
345
00:21:23,477 --> 00:21:24,687
What the hell happened last night?
You okay?
346
00:21:24,812 --> 00:21:25,813
Should you be working?
347
00:21:25,896 --> 00:21:26,939
I'm fine.
348
00:21:27,106 --> 00:21:28,232
Daya, if he hurt you...
349
00:21:28,357 --> 00:21:31,319
Bennett, I'm fine.
And now you're fine, too.
350
00:21:33,321 --> 00:21:34,363
What?
351
00:21:34,446 --> 00:21:36,365
Now, when they find out
I got a baby in me,
352
00:21:36,490 --> 00:21:38,367
it ain't gonna
come down on you.
353
00:21:40,870 --> 00:21:41,954
Oh, my God.
354
00:21:42,955 --> 00:21:44,748
Don't be mad.
You did it on purpose?
355
00:21:44,874 --> 00:21:46,959
Because I love you.
I did it for us.
356
00:21:47,126 --> 00:21:49,128
For us, you fucked Mendez?
357
00:21:49,879 --> 00:21:52,048
And you lied? You got him
suspended without pay.
358
00:21:52,215 --> 00:21:53,590
Suspended?
359
00:21:53,716 --> 00:21:56,635
They ain't fired that fucknut?
He raped me.
360
00:21:56,802 --> 00:21:58,346
He didn't rape you,
you framed him.
361
00:21:58,428 --> 00:21:59,930
Yeah, but as far as they know.
362
00:22:02,141 --> 00:22:03,767
Anyway, it don't matter.
363
00:22:03,893 --> 00:22:05,519
Everything's gonna be okay now.
364
00:22:08,939 --> 00:22:10,066
Who are you?
365
00:22:22,411 --> 00:22:23,746
So what?
Leanne call you?
366
00:22:24,288 --> 00:22:25,581
She's worried about you.
367
00:22:25,664 --> 00:22:26,916
Said you haven't been yourself.
368
00:22:27,041 --> 00:22:29,752
Yeah.
She's probably right.
369
00:22:29,877 --> 00:22:32,197
I'm still getting out from under
the meds that they gave me.
370
00:22:32,629 --> 00:22:33,756
Why?
371
00:22:33,881 --> 00:22:36,424
'Cause you so much as even
squawk about God in here,
372
00:22:36,550 --> 00:22:38,302
and you get thrown in
with the Looney Toons.
373
00:22:38,594 --> 00:22:40,596
Yeah. Well, liberals
are everywhere.
374
00:22:40,721 --> 00:22:42,201
Yeah. Well, they ain't
wrong, you know?
375
00:22:42,430 --> 00:22:43,431
About what?
376
00:22:43,974 --> 00:22:45,726
Oh, this girl, Chapman?
377
00:22:46,936 --> 00:22:49,980
She made me believe that he'd chose me.
He didn't.
378
00:22:50,106 --> 00:22:52,900
They all disrespecting me,
he didn't do nothing.
379
00:22:53,734 --> 00:22:54,944
He let 'em laugh at me.
380
00:22:55,027 --> 00:22:57,988
Conclusion being that I don't
think he exists at all.
381
00:22:58,114 --> 00:23:01,242
And if he does, he ain't
a person I wanna know.
382
00:23:03,202 --> 00:23:06,956
Matthew 5:11.
383
00:23:07,123 --> 00:23:11,294
"Blessed are ye, when men shall
revile you, and persecute you,
384
00:23:11,419 --> 00:23:13,296
"and shall speak
all manner of evil
385
00:23:13,379 --> 00:23:15,589
"against you falsely,
for my sake."
386
00:23:15,672 --> 00:23:17,758
He hasn't abandoned you,
Tiffany.
387
00:23:18,466 --> 00:23:20,468
Maybe he just wants you to
notice someone who needs him.
388
00:23:20,594 --> 00:23:21,637
She don't need him, okay?
389
00:23:21,720 --> 00:23:25,808
All she needs is her own self and her
sasquatch of a girlfriend, okay?
390
00:23:25,975 --> 00:23:28,644
People hurt other people
because they're unhappy.
391
00:23:29,395 --> 00:23:31,315
Because they feel guilty
over things they've done
392
00:23:31,439 --> 00:23:32,898
and they have no one
to forgive them.
393
00:23:32,982 --> 00:23:35,359
You might as well
tell me to turn into a duck.
394
00:23:35,943 --> 00:23:37,069
'Cause I ain't forgiving her.
395
00:23:37,153 --> 00:23:40,488
I mean, I have to confess that to
you right now, I'm not that big.
396
00:23:41,657 --> 00:23:43,451
God wants you to be that big.
397
00:23:43,533 --> 00:23:46,036
He chose you to be a hero.
398
00:23:46,870 --> 00:23:49,332
Remember how you yourself
have been forgiven.
399
00:24:20,363 --> 00:24:21,864
Number five, huh?
400
00:24:21,947 --> 00:24:24,950
We should give you a punch-card,
get the sixth one free.
401
00:24:47,223 --> 00:24:48,743
You best not waste
my squirrel bullets.
402
00:24:48,891 --> 00:24:50,351
She disrespected me.
403
00:25:03,113 --> 00:25:06,116
I assume
you heard about Mendez.
404
00:25:06,492 --> 00:25:08,369
I heard
he was fraternizing, sir.
405
00:25:09,036 --> 00:25:10,413
"Fraternizing."
406
00:25:11,247 --> 00:25:14,666
Fischer, I've seen some
things I can't unsee.
407
00:25:15,167 --> 00:25:16,584
I can imagine.
408
00:25:16,919 --> 00:25:20,964
More importantly, I've had
to put an officer on ice,
409
00:25:21,090 --> 00:25:25,261
leaving us short-handed a week
before the Christmas pageant.
410
00:25:25,344 --> 00:25:30,891
You have not seen crazy until you've
seen 200 women with anger issues
411
00:25:30,974 --> 00:25:34,937
fighting over who's gonna
be the ass-end of a camel.
412
00:25:35,938 --> 00:25:37,231
Are we working extra hours?
413
00:25:37,773 --> 00:25:39,942
Washington won't cover
two-ply toilet paper,
414
00:25:40,025 --> 00:25:41,944
they're not gonna start
shelling out overtime.
415
00:25:42,069 --> 00:25:43,904
We'll get a body in
from down the hill.
416
00:25:44,405 --> 00:25:47,074
What I need from you is,
417
00:25:48,616 --> 00:25:51,370
not to get yourself in
trouble the way Mendez did.
418
00:25:51,495 --> 00:25:53,539
Oh, I'm not gay, sir.
419
00:25:53,747 --> 00:25:55,999
No, God, no,
I didn't mean that.
420
00:25:56,125 --> 00:25:59,128
No. You are straight
as they come.
421
00:25:59,378 --> 00:26:03,631
I mean, does a zebra
have stripes, am I right?
422
00:26:03,799 --> 00:26:05,092
Exactly.
423
00:26:05,468 --> 00:26:10,556
No, what I mean is, you can't
go easy on the inmates.
424
00:26:11,639 --> 00:26:13,892
They will take
advantage of you.
425
00:26:15,227 --> 00:26:18,481
I saw you yesterday,
look the other way
426
00:26:18,564 --> 00:26:21,233
when the nun moved
a contraband muffin.
427
00:26:21,567 --> 00:26:22,767
Oh, Sister Ingalls is harmless.
428
00:26:22,818 --> 00:26:24,153
Sister Ingalls killed a man.
429
00:26:24,278 --> 00:26:25,904
I thought she was
a political protester.
430
00:26:26,696 --> 00:26:28,324
That's not the point.
431
00:26:28,449 --> 00:26:30,658
The point is,
these women are criminals.
432
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:33,996
And even the cuddly-looking
ones, they have done some shit
433
00:26:34,121 --> 00:26:37,916
that would terrify a kind-hearted
person such as yourself.
434
00:26:39,460 --> 00:26:42,087
Fischer, you need to
get on your game.
435
00:26:42,171 --> 00:26:43,671
You maintain your authority,
436
00:26:43,755 --> 00:26:46,383
you remind them
who's in charge.
437
00:26:46,509 --> 00:26:49,677
If you want,
I can help you out.
438
00:26:51,013 --> 00:26:54,183
Be a mentor or something.
439
00:26:54,391 --> 00:26:56,271
You think it would help
if I use a deeper voice?
440
00:26:56,352 --> 00:26:57,936
"Move along, Sister."
441
00:26:58,437 --> 00:26:59,687
It could, sure.
442
00:26:59,771 --> 00:27:03,150
Also, it helps if you
don't use their names.
443
00:27:03,567 --> 00:27:07,321
Just say, "inmate," like
they're all the same to you.
444
00:27:07,404 --> 00:27:09,697
It reminds them
they're not really people.
445
00:27:10,324 --> 00:27:11,367
They are people.
446
00:27:16,872 --> 00:27:20,209
You can't think that way.
They are sheep.
447
00:27:20,876 --> 00:27:24,712
We feed them, we herd them
from one room to the next.
448
00:27:27,216 --> 00:27:28,551
They're not like you.
449
00:27:30,594 --> 00:27:31,679
You're a woman.
450
00:27:34,390 --> 00:27:35,891
And I'm a man.
451
00:27:39,144 --> 00:27:40,896
All right. Got the
bread crumbs, right?
452
00:27:41,021 --> 00:27:42,730
Come back for that.
Take that in.
453
00:28:17,725 --> 00:28:18,975
What the fuck is this?
454
00:28:19,101 --> 00:28:20,436
Oh, don't start with me.
455
00:28:20,519 --> 00:28:23,105
We are done with
factory meat, babe.
456
00:28:23,230 --> 00:28:25,107
There's no reason why
we can't responsibly
457
00:28:25,190 --> 00:28:27,150
hunt all the animal
protein we need.
458
00:28:27,276 --> 00:28:28,360
Yeah, I was hungry.
459
00:28:28,527 --> 00:28:30,529
Is this some
kind of game to you?
460
00:28:30,613 --> 00:28:34,157
I can't even put this in the compost
pile, it'll make the worms sick.
461
00:28:34,283 --> 00:28:36,868
We're 100% on the same page
philosophically, babe,
462
00:28:36,952 --> 00:28:40,956
but I think we really need to
calibrate the intensity factor.
463
00:28:41,081 --> 00:28:42,916
Oh, you think I'm intense? Yeah.
464
00:28:43,041 --> 00:28:44,293
Okay, guess what?
Without me,
465
00:28:44,376 --> 00:28:46,169
all you're doing is
smoking pot in the forest
466
00:28:46,295 --> 00:28:48,004
in a flannel shirt
and a hipster beard,
467
00:28:48,130 --> 00:28:49,839
like a fat Bon Iver,
468
00:28:49,965 --> 00:28:52,259
the fucking Jack
Johnson of Wisconsin.
469
00:28:52,342 --> 00:28:53,969
Whoa! This is exactly
the kind of black-and-white
470
00:28:54,052 --> 00:28:55,638
Holstein shit that
I'm talking about.
471
00:28:55,721 --> 00:28:57,931
Oh, okay. You know
what the problem is?
472
00:28:58,014 --> 00:29:00,434
We are just funda-fucking-mentally
different people,
473
00:29:00,517 --> 00:29:02,603
at a DNA level!
474
00:29:02,770 --> 00:29:05,105
What? Your father is a
financial systems analyst!
475
00:29:05,272 --> 00:29:07,899
Okay, are you fully committed
to living an authentic life,
476
00:29:07,983 --> 00:29:09,652
or are you just acting out some
477
00:29:09,777 --> 00:29:11,361
Hank-Thoreau-at-Walden-Pond
fantasy shit
478
00:29:11,487 --> 00:29:12,988
from seventh grade English?
479
00:29:13,155 --> 00:29:15,157
Why does it matter?
I can't talk to you!
480
00:29:22,831 --> 00:29:24,124
Well, that was awkward.
481
00:29:26,084 --> 00:29:27,252
What, awkward how?
482
00:29:28,504 --> 00:29:32,424
It's just tough to watch you
hit the rocks like that, man.
483
00:29:33,425 --> 00:29:36,804
No. That was
foreplay, Bloomer.
484
00:29:36,886 --> 00:29:38,430
Yeah, that's, that's
how we relate.
485
00:29:38,597 --> 00:29:40,056
It seems a little aggressive.
486
00:29:40,349 --> 00:29:43,435
Think about how baby Cal
grew up, all right?
487
00:29:43,519 --> 00:29:46,104
Everyone pretended
everything was chill.
488
00:29:46,188 --> 00:29:49,525
Dad fucked two different
women named Linda,
489
00:29:49,608 --> 00:29:53,903
Mom lived on gin and cottage
cheese from '91 to about '98
490
00:29:54,029 --> 00:29:57,700
and everyone knew and nobody
ever said anything about it.
491
00:29:57,783 --> 00:30:01,244
But with Neri, we put
everything out there, man.
492
00:30:01,370 --> 00:30:02,830
It's safe.
493
00:30:02,912 --> 00:30:06,166
You know, we scream and throw
shit and it's like, electric,
494
00:30:06,249 --> 00:30:09,252
you know what I'm saying?
It's erotic, no joke.
495
00:30:09,378 --> 00:30:11,588
I mean, you get it.
You're a Jew.
496
00:30:12,756 --> 00:30:15,217
All right,
I just got to say it, man.
497
00:30:15,925 --> 00:30:19,137
You guys have known each other
what, nine weeks, tops?
498
00:30:19,638 --> 00:30:21,264
Isn't the whole
thing a little fast?
499
00:30:21,515 --> 00:30:22,932
Oh, okay.
500
00:30:23,933 --> 00:30:25,561
Maybe it
doesn't look like what
501
00:30:25,644 --> 00:30:27,245
everyone else thinks
it should look like,
502
00:30:27,270 --> 00:30:28,772
but who cares?
503
00:30:29,565 --> 00:30:33,235
We're crazy,
but we are in this.
504
00:30:45,330 --> 00:30:47,082
They said the video
machine got unhooked.
505
00:30:47,791 --> 00:30:50,919
There's this, uh,
Guatemalan grandma
506
00:30:51,044 --> 00:30:54,840
who's been teaching herself
English watching Turner and Hooch
507
00:30:54,923 --> 00:30:59,094
about six times a day. I'm
guessing someone got tired of it.
508
00:31:01,263 --> 00:31:02,723
I came by yoga today.
509
00:31:04,140 --> 00:31:05,141
Oh.
510
00:31:05,975 --> 00:31:08,437
Well, I'm taking
a little break.
511
00:31:09,104 --> 00:31:10,647
I thought yoga
was a little break.
512
00:31:11,106 --> 00:31:12,315
It was.
513
00:31:13,275 --> 00:31:14,568
Then I hit you.
514
00:31:15,694 --> 00:31:17,863
You can only take so
much Zen, you know?
515
00:31:17,946 --> 00:31:21,324
Sometimes you
wanna feel something.
516
00:31:23,827 --> 00:31:25,537
You gotta talk
about it sometime.
517
00:31:31,334 --> 00:31:36,632
I used to grow marijuana out in
California, Humboldt County.
518
00:31:36,757 --> 00:31:38,634
One acre, nothing crazy.
519
00:31:38,759 --> 00:31:40,761
Just enough to keep me going.
520
00:31:41,303 --> 00:31:42,471
Goin', like, baked?
521
00:31:42,554 --> 00:31:44,013
Like, pay the rent.
522
00:31:44,598 --> 00:31:47,142
I mean, I smoked it
once in a while.
523
00:31:47,225 --> 00:31:52,188
But mostly I was just a
good old-fashioned drunk,
524
00:31:52,314 --> 00:31:54,441
like my parents
raised me to be.
525
00:31:55,442 --> 00:31:56,860
So the Feds shut you down.
526
00:31:57,026 --> 00:31:58,946
Actually, it was the deer.
527
00:31:59,822 --> 00:32:00,864
The who, now?
528
00:32:02,198 --> 00:32:04,409
Oh, yeah, deer love weed.
529
00:32:04,493 --> 00:32:05,535
Fucks them right up, too.
530
00:32:05,661 --> 00:32:09,122
They start jumping around
all over the place.
531
00:32:09,205 --> 00:32:11,166
Then they come back for more.
532
00:32:11,291 --> 00:32:13,502
And the kicker is,
you can't keep them out.
533
00:32:13,585 --> 00:32:18,548
I tried everything.
Soap shavings, fox pee,
534
00:32:18,674 --> 00:32:22,177
which they sell at the Home
Depot for $120 a gallon.
535
00:32:22,302 --> 00:32:24,179
Seems like you could
have just built a fence.
536
00:32:24,304 --> 00:32:28,057
No, a deer can jump an
eight-foot barb wire fence
537
00:32:28,183 --> 00:32:31,520
with a smile on its face,
like Donald O'Connor.
538
00:32:32,228 --> 00:32:33,605
Get to the meat already.
539
00:32:36,566 --> 00:32:41,864
I got a hunting rifle
and stayed up all night,
540
00:32:41,989 --> 00:32:44,658
four, five times a week.
541
00:32:44,741 --> 00:32:46,618
And finally, one night
542
00:32:46,702 --> 00:32:52,207
I see them rustling around
the edge of my property,
543
00:32:52,332 --> 00:32:55,711
where I was growing
the quality shit,
544
00:32:55,794 --> 00:32:59,088
this hybrid
plant called AK-47,
545
00:32:59,214 --> 00:33:02,217
which the fake
prescription people
546
00:33:02,342 --> 00:33:04,761
eat up like peanuts.
I was pissed.
547
00:33:04,928 --> 00:33:05,929
And drunk?
548
00:33:06,054 --> 00:33:07,723
Oh, honey, that goes
without saying.
549
00:33:08,515 --> 00:33:09,683
So what happened?
550
00:33:12,019 --> 00:33:13,353
I shot him.
551
00:33:15,647 --> 00:33:16,690
And?
552
00:33:18,149 --> 00:33:19,943
And it wasn't a deer.
553
00:33:22,988 --> 00:33:27,075
It was an eight-year-old kid
554
00:33:28,410 --> 00:33:32,455
from the farm next door who
was running away from home
555
00:33:32,581 --> 00:33:36,919
because his dad
took away his Nintendo.
556
00:33:40,923 --> 00:33:42,424
A kid.
557
00:33:44,718 --> 00:33:45,802
Shit.
558
00:33:46,261 --> 00:33:52,851
And they buried him on
their property, in a box.
559
00:33:56,479 --> 00:34:00,525
Work hours means no socializing
whatsoever, inmates.
560
00:34:00,692 --> 00:34:02,485
It was a mistake.
561
00:34:03,111 --> 00:34:04,153
Oh, no.
562
00:34:05,614 --> 00:34:06,865
We're having a moment here.
563
00:34:07,074 --> 00:34:09,785
Shit. I'm sorry.
Carry on.
564
00:34:17,292 --> 00:34:18,752
I don't even
know what Kwanzaa is.
565
00:34:18,835 --> 00:34:19,878
I mean, except
that you're supposed
566
00:34:19,962 --> 00:34:21,964
to wear dashikis and
eat corn and stuff.
567
00:34:22,089 --> 00:34:23,924
Nobody
knows what it is, girl.
568
00:34:24,007 --> 00:34:25,634
But they're taking
Fed money up in here,
569
00:34:25,759 --> 00:34:28,637
so they gotta give all the
traditions equal time.
570
00:34:28,762 --> 00:34:30,055
Hey, you know what?
571
00:34:30,138 --> 00:34:32,641
I think I'm gonna be needin' a
traditional week off from work.
572
00:34:32,724 --> 00:34:35,435
Hey! To honor my African
roots, you feel me?
573
00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:38,730
Uh, huh. Joyous Kwanzaa,
my Nubian sister.
574
00:34:40,816 --> 00:34:44,027
May the Kwanzaa
Elf smile upon ya!
575
00:34:46,446 --> 00:34:47,656
And pull it through the loop.
576
00:34:47,739 --> 00:34:49,950
And you got
a single crochet stitch.
577
00:34:50,033 --> 00:34:51,159
Ah, ha, ha, ha!
Look at that!
578
00:34:51,284 --> 00:34:52,828
Ninety-five thousand
more of those
579
00:34:52,953 --> 00:34:54,746
and you'll have a lovely throw.
580
00:34:54,955 --> 00:34:57,833
Hey, college,
I got words for you.
581
00:35:09,302 --> 00:35:11,805
All right, I'm just gonna give
it to you straight, college,
582
00:35:11,888 --> 00:35:16,184
I've been harboring some really
bad hate in my heart for you.
583
00:35:17,435 --> 00:35:19,021
But I saved you. I got
you out of Psych.
584
00:35:19,187 --> 00:35:21,606
You saved me from some
shit you got me into.
585
00:35:22,691 --> 00:35:24,233
Don't be surprised
if there's not
586
00:35:24,359 --> 00:35:26,028
a national holiday
declared in your name.
587
00:35:26,153 --> 00:35:27,904
You got me
thrown into the SHU...
588
00:35:28,030 --> 00:35:29,447
Who's talkin' right now?
589
00:35:33,035 --> 00:35:35,328
Do you realize that
you almost ruined my life?
590
00:35:35,411 --> 00:35:37,246
I mean, do you?
591
00:35:37,372 --> 00:35:40,042
You made the Almighty God
into a joke,
592
00:35:40,125 --> 00:35:42,335
and a joke ain't nothing to me.
593
00:35:42,502 --> 00:35:45,839
A joke didn't write
me letters up in here,
594
00:35:45,922 --> 00:35:50,510
and a joke didn't give me hope
so I could do my time
595
00:35:50,593 --> 00:35:52,846
and make something out of it.
596
00:35:54,890 --> 00:35:56,641
What do you believe in?
597
00:36:00,395 --> 00:36:03,314
Well, I've always thought that
agnostic was sort of a cop-out.
598
00:36:03,398 --> 00:36:05,567
But you know,
if I had to label it,
599
00:36:05,650 --> 00:36:07,360
I'd say that I'm
a secular humanist.
600
00:36:07,443 --> 00:36:08,528
Which is not to say
I'm not spiritual...
601
00:36:08,611 --> 00:36:10,822
You're not religious, okay?
Just stop.
602
00:36:12,199 --> 00:36:13,449
Stop.
603
00:36:14,283 --> 00:36:15,994
You believe in Hussein Obama?
604
00:36:16,912 --> 00:36:19,206
Electric cars and
Shakespeare books
605
00:36:19,288 --> 00:36:21,416
and do you go out to
eat at restaurants?
606
00:36:23,585 --> 00:36:27,005
I don't have any of that, okay?
All I have is him.
607
00:36:27,672 --> 00:36:28,840
I'm sorry.
608
00:36:28,924 --> 00:36:32,052
Don't ask for my forgiveness. You
should ask for His forgiveness.
609
00:36:32,135 --> 00:36:34,096
You need to get right with him,
610
00:36:34,179 --> 00:36:37,640
and then we'll see that all
this was part of His plan.
611
00:36:37,974 --> 00:36:39,684
And then, we don't
have to fight anymore.
612
00:36:39,768 --> 00:36:41,770
I wasn't planning on fighting with you.
Well, then, just do it.
613
00:36:41,895 --> 00:36:42,938
Right now? Yeah, right
here, right now.
614
00:36:43,063 --> 00:36:44,106
Got somewhere to be?
615
00:36:50,737 --> 00:36:51,780
Dear Jesus...
616
00:36:51,905 --> 00:36:53,489
That's awfully
familiar for somebody
617
00:36:53,615 --> 00:36:55,491
that doesn't give
him the time of day.
618
00:36:55,784 --> 00:36:56,785
Um...
619
00:36:57,702 --> 00:37:00,914
Dear Mr. Christ?
620
00:37:05,418 --> 00:37:07,045
Dear Mr. Christ,
621
00:37:07,963 --> 00:37:12,842
I know that I've done
some things recently
622
00:37:13,009 --> 00:37:17,806
that have not been, have
been up to your standards.
623
00:37:18,807 --> 00:37:22,018
And I feel pretty ashamed.
624
00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:27,565
It's really easy
to point fingers.
625
00:37:28,858 --> 00:37:32,737
And I've done some things lately
I feel pretty lousy about.
626
00:37:35,031 --> 00:37:37,909
And I'm wondering if maybe you could
make things right between us?
627
00:37:37,993 --> 00:37:39,327
Meaning forgiveness?
628
00:37:41,704 --> 00:37:45,167
If I could be forgiven,
that would be really...
629
00:37:46,375 --> 00:37:47,376
Um...
630
00:37:49,504 --> 00:37:51,673
That would be
really comforting.
631
00:37:52,799 --> 00:37:54,050
Amen.
632
00:37:58,680 --> 00:37:59,764
How was that?
633
00:38:00,556 --> 00:38:03,476
I think you took a step
on the right road.
634
00:38:04,435 --> 00:38:05,478
Okay.
635
00:38:10,566 --> 00:38:12,235
Now we just gotta
get you baptized.
636
00:38:15,613 --> 00:38:19,242
I would've looped in the Blessed
Virgin to cover my bases.
637
00:38:19,367 --> 00:38:20,409
But that's me.
638
00:38:25,832 --> 00:38:27,125
Let's try again.
639
00:38:31,379 --> 00:38:32,839
Thanks for coming.
640
00:38:33,381 --> 00:38:34,674
What do you want?
641
00:38:35,133 --> 00:38:38,386
Wow, way to harsh on a dude
when he's down, bro, fuck!
642
00:38:38,553 --> 00:38:41,514
You put your dick in Diaz!
643
00:38:41,597 --> 00:38:45,393
It's not what it sounds like, man.
She wanted me to do it.
644
00:38:47,770 --> 00:38:52,400
Hey, Benny, I think
we're in love.
645
00:38:54,736 --> 00:38:56,738
You poor fucker.
646
00:38:56,821 --> 00:38:58,281
Yep.
647
00:38:59,032 --> 00:39:03,245
That's okay. I mean,
if we have to spend
648
00:39:03,328 --> 00:39:05,247
a little bit of time apart,
I can handle that.
649
00:39:07,749 --> 00:39:09,751
I gotta get her a message.
650
00:39:12,003 --> 00:39:13,129
Will you take it?
651
00:39:13,255 --> 00:39:15,715
I could get in
deep shit for that.
652
00:39:15,798 --> 00:39:18,885
Plus, it's not good for you, man.
It's not healthy.
653
00:39:19,761 --> 00:39:22,138
You need a girl who you
can actually be with.
654
00:39:24,099 --> 00:39:25,600
I'm gonna help you out, Benny.
655
00:39:26,726 --> 00:39:27,894
Perfect.
656
00:39:27,977 --> 00:39:30,521
We've got a shipment
coming in tomorrow
657
00:39:30,605 --> 00:39:33,942
from this vendor
called Neptune's Produce.
658
00:39:34,359 --> 00:39:37,486
Stop the truck, get into
it before they unload it.
659
00:39:37,612 --> 00:39:39,488
Look for a box with a
check mark on the side.
660
00:39:39,614 --> 00:39:41,116
Look, I don't wanna be
involved in anything weird.
661
00:39:41,199 --> 00:39:42,284
It's not weird, it's drugs.
662
00:39:45,161 --> 00:39:48,623
Sputnik in the kitchen
is dealing to the inmates,
663
00:39:48,706 --> 00:39:50,875
turning them into addicts.
It's wrong.
664
00:39:52,001 --> 00:39:56,505
You get that box, bring it to
Caputo, he's gonna be grateful.
665
00:39:56,631 --> 00:40:00,343
Butter him up, he'll probably give
you a raise right on the spot.
666
00:40:00,468 --> 00:40:04,097
We could all use a little
extra cash, am I right?
667
00:40:07,683 --> 00:40:11,771
I was gonna be the hero, but I'm
gonna give you my win, man.
668
00:40:13,356 --> 00:40:14,857
It's your win now.
669
00:40:15,817 --> 00:40:16,859
Why?
670
00:40:19,070 --> 00:40:20,322
Satisfaction.
671
00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:26,786
And this.
672
00:40:29,998 --> 00:40:31,749
I'm not saying yes.
673
00:40:34,336 --> 00:40:37,588
But you will, because
you're my brother.
674
00:40:52,603 --> 00:40:53,771
Fuck.
675
00:40:55,731 --> 00:40:57,233
You were right.
676
00:40:58,985 --> 00:41:00,445
About Larry, you were right.
677
00:41:03,781 --> 00:41:06,326
I think that I've lost him.
Can I?
678
00:41:13,791 --> 00:41:16,336
So all of my cards
are on the table.
679
00:41:18,380 --> 00:41:19,714
Everything.
680
00:41:20,673 --> 00:41:23,009
I'm an emotionally
manipulative narcissist
681
00:41:23,092 --> 00:41:25,678
who bailed on you
when your mother died.
682
00:41:27,555 --> 00:41:31,184
And I'm a ruthless pragmatist who
sold you out and then lied about it.
683
00:41:34,396 --> 00:41:35,813
We suck.
684
00:41:37,357 --> 00:41:38,918
It's kind of a relief,
though, isn't it?
685
00:41:40,235 --> 00:41:42,904
Oh, my God, Piper!
I'm getting whiplash here.
686
00:41:43,238 --> 00:41:45,073
I'm not fucking with you.
687
00:41:46,782 --> 00:41:50,912
I've ruined my life now,
twice, over you.
688
00:41:52,914 --> 00:41:56,167
So, what's the end game here?
689
00:41:56,251 --> 00:41:58,753
When we get out of
prison what's the plan?
690
00:41:59,921 --> 00:42:02,965
Are we gonna move to Vermont and open
a pottery studio and wear Tevas?
691
00:42:03,132 --> 00:42:04,772
That sounds
more like Santa Fe.
692
00:42:04,842 --> 00:42:07,595
I'm being serious.
Are you gonna get a job?
693
00:42:07,678 --> 00:42:08,679
Hmm...
694
00:42:08,763 --> 00:42:10,473
Like a regular person?
695
00:42:10,598 --> 00:42:13,059
I mean, I can't even imagine
what that would look like.
696
00:42:13,226 --> 00:42:14,602
Me neither.
697
00:42:16,229 --> 00:42:19,148
I'm good at moving
large amounts of heroin.
698
00:42:19,607 --> 00:42:22,277
Like, really fucking
brilliant at it.
699
00:42:23,152 --> 00:42:25,071
Other than that, I don't know.
700
00:42:26,364 --> 00:42:27,604
One thing that I
do know is that
701
00:42:27,656 --> 00:42:30,243
I am never, ever
coming back to prison.
702
00:42:31,160 --> 00:42:34,997
Listen, I am not planning on going
back to doing illegal shit.
703
00:42:35,123 --> 00:42:37,375
I'm not planning anything.
704
00:42:37,459 --> 00:42:40,503
I don't know
what's gonna happen,
705
00:42:40,628 --> 00:42:42,255
and that's the point
of being with me.
706
00:42:42,964 --> 00:42:45,674
If you wanna have babies
and remodel your bathroom,
707
00:42:45,800 --> 00:42:49,178
then, please go.
Do. Nest.
708
00:42:51,473 --> 00:42:53,641
If you wanna do X on
a beach in Cambodia
709
00:42:53,766 --> 00:42:55,893
with three strangers in drag...
710
00:42:57,812 --> 00:43:03,234
I'm not saying it's gonna
happen, but it could.
711
00:43:08,364 --> 00:43:09,824
I love Cambodia.
712
00:43:11,242 --> 00:43:12,660
Me too.
713
00:43:21,336 --> 00:43:24,213
Chapman, you blinked.
Vause wins.
714
00:43:24,339 --> 00:43:25,798
Yo, you seen her yet?
715
00:43:25,881 --> 00:43:26,924
Who?
716
00:43:27,300 --> 00:43:30,011
Princess Stephanie of Monaco.
Your roommate.
717
00:43:31,095 --> 00:43:33,681
Lorna drove her back up,
you haven't heard?
718
00:43:33,764 --> 00:43:37,602
Her appeal went kaput. Better sleep
with both eyes open tonight.
719
00:43:39,895 --> 00:43:41,356
Oh, shit.
720
00:43:48,279 --> 00:43:51,740
Inmate, where's your badge?
Inmate, I'm talking to you.
721
00:43:51,866 --> 00:43:55,328
That nail polish is non-regulation, too.
Where did you get that?
722
00:43:55,411 --> 00:43:58,581
I said, where did you get that?
723
00:44:06,422 --> 00:44:07,798
Take your hands
off her, Pelage.
724
00:44:11,636 --> 00:44:12,970
You're headed to Max, inmate.
725
00:44:14,055 --> 00:44:15,056
Doesn't matter.
726
00:44:19,143 --> 00:44:20,687
Get up. Get up!
727
00:44:23,064 --> 00:44:24,106
Come on, you.
728
00:44:33,741 --> 00:44:34,742
What we lookin' at?
729
00:44:34,909 --> 00:44:36,077
Taystee?
730
00:44:48,214 --> 00:44:50,841
You ain't got to
be alone no more.
731
00:44:52,677 --> 00:44:53,760
What is this?
732
00:44:53,886 --> 00:44:56,389
This is me never having
to make mac and cheese
733
00:44:56,472 --> 00:44:58,224
in the common room
microwave again.
734
00:44:58,307 --> 00:44:59,747
It smells like
a salmon farted in it.
735
00:44:59,892 --> 00:45:01,812
You don't know when Miss
Claudette is coming back.
736
00:45:01,852 --> 00:45:05,814
You put your hand on a guard, you
go to Max, you don't come back.
737
00:45:05,940 --> 00:45:07,567
Everybody know that.
738
00:45:07,942 --> 00:45:11,320
We goin' to my bunk, where
Book of Eli never happened.
739
00:45:14,532 --> 00:45:15,700
Hey!
740
00:45:16,992 --> 00:45:18,202
Hey, I get the blanket.
741
00:45:18,369 --> 00:45:19,954
Well, look at you, Miss Thing.
742
00:45:21,956 --> 00:45:26,961
I was her roommate. I took her
shit and I listened to her snore.
743
00:45:27,962 --> 00:45:30,298
The blanket is mine.
744
00:45:30,965 --> 00:45:32,049
I've got three of them.
745
00:45:32,759 --> 00:45:35,553
Kill, Little Boo, kill!
746
00:45:38,723 --> 00:45:40,516
We're working on it.
747
00:45:42,602 --> 00:45:43,936
Good girl.
748
00:46:13,758 --> 00:46:14,925
You wanna talk about it?
749
00:46:15,842 --> 00:46:17,052
Not really.
750
00:46:18,053 --> 00:46:19,414
I have to give
you a titty-twister,
751
00:46:19,430 --> 00:46:20,910
you'll be feelin'
that shit next week.
752
00:46:22,517 --> 00:46:24,519
What they don't tell
you when you get out?
753
00:46:24,644 --> 00:46:26,813
They gonna be up
your ass like the KGB.
754
00:46:26,895 --> 00:46:30,274
Curfew every night, piss in
a cup whenever they say,
755
00:46:30,358 --> 00:46:34,028
you gotta do three job interviews in
a week for jobs you never gonna get.
756
00:46:34,570 --> 00:46:37,365
Probation officer callin'
every minute, checkin' up.
757
00:46:37,824 --> 00:46:40,117
Man, at least in jail
you get dinner.
758
00:46:43,329 --> 00:46:44,706
Ow, man!
What the fuck?
759
00:46:44,789 --> 00:46:46,549
Man, where do you
think you at, Paris Hilton?
760
00:46:47,583 --> 00:46:49,876
Yo, it's bitches in
here doing 15 years
761
00:46:49,960 --> 00:46:52,000
for lettin' their boyfriends
do deals in the kitchen
762
00:46:52,046 --> 00:46:55,132
'cause they was afraid of
getting beat if they said no.
763
00:46:55,216 --> 00:46:57,696
And there's bitches ain't seen
their kids since they was babies,
764
00:46:57,719 --> 00:46:59,721
and them kids got
they own babies now,
765
00:46:59,846 --> 00:47:02,166
or they're runnin' around the
street carryin' guns and shit,
766
00:47:02,223 --> 00:47:04,266
no one watching over 'em.
767
00:47:04,475 --> 00:47:09,355
Yo, I been in here two years
and I got four more.
768
00:47:10,231 --> 00:47:12,734
Eight months ago when
I was waxin' fuckin'
769
00:47:12,817 --> 00:47:15,986
floors in the cafeteria,
my moms passed.
770
00:47:17,530 --> 00:47:19,281
And I wasn't there to say
the shit you supposed to say
771
00:47:19,407 --> 00:47:20,907
to your mom before she gone.
772
00:47:21,242 --> 00:47:23,870
So I know you ain't tellin'
me in my face right now
773
00:47:23,952 --> 00:47:25,496
that you walked
back in this place
774
00:47:25,580 --> 00:47:27,914
'cause freedom was
inconvenient for you?
775
00:47:28,040 --> 00:47:31,586
It ain't like that, P. Minimum
wage is some kinda joke.
776
00:47:31,711 --> 00:47:33,421
I got part-time
workin' at Pizza Hut,
777
00:47:33,504 --> 00:47:36,591
and I still owe the prison
$900 in fees I gotta pay back.
778
00:47:37,425 --> 00:47:39,594
I ain't got no place to stay.
779
00:47:39,926 --> 00:47:44,473
I was sleepin' on the floor in my
second cousin apartment like a dog,
780
00:47:44,931 --> 00:47:47,852
and she still got six
people in two rooms.
781
00:47:47,934 --> 00:47:51,606
One of the bitches stole my check.
I got lice.
782
00:47:51,731 --> 00:47:55,942
Everyone I know is poor,
in jail, or gone.
783
00:47:57,361 --> 00:48:00,155
Don't nobody ask
about how my day went.
784
00:48:00,281 --> 00:48:02,949
Man, I got fucked up
in the head, you know?
785
00:48:05,787 --> 00:48:07,747
I know how to play it here.
786
00:48:07,830 --> 00:48:11,292
Where to be, and what
rules to follow.
787
00:48:13,168 --> 00:48:14,712
I got a bed.
788
00:48:16,130 --> 00:48:18,006
And I got you.
789
00:48:19,675 --> 00:48:20,885
I really missed you.
790
00:48:25,972 --> 00:48:28,225
I didn't mean to let you down.
791
00:48:36,651 --> 00:48:40,237
So what did you do to land
yourself back in here?
792
00:48:40,655 --> 00:48:46,201
Well, first, I got a can
of Rockstar and 100 paper clips.
793
00:48:51,165 --> 00:48:53,626
I found it in the shed
behind Electrical.
794
00:48:54,460 --> 00:48:57,338
If they see us with that, we
both go straight to the SHU.
795
00:48:57,755 --> 00:48:59,757
So don't let them see us.
796
00:49:00,967 --> 00:49:03,009
What kind of voltage are
we talking about here?
797
00:49:03,427 --> 00:49:06,305
No idea. That's what
makes it exciting.
798
00:49:07,723 --> 00:49:10,267
You don't wanna
do it, that's cool.
799
00:49:10,392 --> 00:49:12,979
We just go back to our
regular, prison lives.
800
00:49:13,729 --> 00:49:16,858
Work, sleep, count.
801
00:49:29,370 --> 00:49:32,289
Shit. Oh, my God!
Wait, come on, Jones.
802
00:49:38,963 --> 00:49:44,593
Oh, man! I didn't think it was like that.
Shit. I'm sorry.
803
00:49:46,303 --> 00:49:48,096
No, it's cool.
804
00:49:49,390 --> 00:49:53,435
I feel good.
I feel better.
805
00:49:55,980 --> 00:49:57,231
You're serious?
806
00:49:58,566 --> 00:49:59,901
I kind of needed that.
807
00:50:04,739 --> 00:50:06,991
Here, you gonna go?
808
00:50:11,662 --> 00:50:15,708
You ready to get dunked? I got
towels so don't worry about that.
809
00:50:16,166 --> 00:50:20,629
Oh, God, the baptism thing.
You were serious.
810
00:50:20,963 --> 00:50:23,966
What about me makes you think
I wouldn't be serious?
811
00:50:24,466 --> 00:50:26,427
Good point. Uh...
812
00:50:26,719 --> 00:50:28,763
I have visitation today.
It's Larry's day.
813
00:50:28,888 --> 00:50:31,390
Or was. We haven't talked but I'm
really hoping he'll be there.
814
00:50:31,473 --> 00:50:34,268
So just go after.
This takes a few minutes.
815
00:50:34,351 --> 00:50:37,229
And that's not a lot of time to get
your ticket to the Kingdom of Heaven,
816
00:50:37,312 --> 00:50:41,400
which is forever
and ever, amen.
817
00:50:44,653 --> 00:50:46,405
Wow.
818
00:50:46,488 --> 00:50:50,284
That was a sign. I think
he's back on my side.
819
00:50:52,202 --> 00:50:53,913
How did you sleep, Tiffany?
820
00:50:53,996 --> 00:50:55,121
Who's askin'?
821
00:50:55,247 --> 00:50:56,498
I'm your lawyer.
822
00:50:56,624 --> 00:50:59,224
You ain't my lawyer. My lawyer is
fat and his name is Wesley Weeks.
823
00:50:59,251 --> 00:51:01,253
Wesley Weeks is a
C-minus public defender
824
00:51:01,336 --> 00:51:03,631
who will plead you out without
even looking at your file.
825
00:51:03,714 --> 00:51:06,341
I think you'll find that the Christian
firm of Turro, Payne and Whorton
826
00:51:06,467 --> 00:51:07,947
will serve your
interests much better.
827
00:51:09,804 --> 00:51:11,044
You're gonna get
me out of jail?
828
00:51:11,055 --> 00:51:13,307
Well, if you shoot somebody in
broad daylight, with witnesses,
829
00:51:13,432 --> 00:51:15,017
you're gonna do some
time, that's a fact.
830
00:51:15,141 --> 00:51:18,312
But, I will see
that you do less time.
831
00:51:18,771 --> 00:51:20,314
Couple of
procedural challenges,
832
00:51:20,397 --> 00:51:21,816
plus we're gonna
argue that you did
833
00:51:21,899 --> 00:51:23,651
what you did based on
the moral conviction
834
00:51:23,776 --> 00:51:25,569
that you were saving lives.
835
00:51:25,653 --> 00:51:28,990
Defenseless, innocent lives.
I didn't...
836
00:51:30,449 --> 00:51:32,118
I can't afford a fancy lawyer.
837
00:51:32,284 --> 00:51:33,911
My fees have
already been settled.
838
00:51:33,995 --> 00:51:36,497
And there's a small monthly
stipend going to your family,
839
00:51:36,622 --> 00:51:38,542
to help them while their
daughter serves her time.
840
00:51:39,959 --> 00:51:41,167
How's this being paid for?
841
00:51:42,044 --> 00:51:43,796
By the grace of God.
842
00:51:44,546 --> 00:51:47,508
And also, all your friends.
843
00:51:49,217 --> 00:51:50,344
Good God!
844
00:51:56,142 --> 00:51:58,811
Order in the court. I want
order in this courtroom!
845
00:52:00,896 --> 00:52:02,523
All of you, sit down!
846
00:52:14,035 --> 00:52:16,202
Look, I understand that
this is important to you,
847
00:52:16,328 --> 00:52:18,039
but I don't think...
College?
848
00:52:19,707 --> 00:52:21,083
Don't let me down.
849
00:52:23,209 --> 00:52:25,838
Okay, fine.
Fine, I have 10 minutes.
850
00:52:26,547 --> 00:52:27,589
Perfect.
851
00:52:28,423 --> 00:52:29,466
Running...
852
00:52:30,384 --> 00:52:33,179
I really fucking
needed this, Bennett.
853
00:52:33,303 --> 00:52:34,388
Just doing my job, sir.
854
00:52:34,513 --> 00:52:36,724
This is the kind of
thing I remember when
855
00:52:36,849 --> 00:52:39,185
it's time to move
somebody up the ladder.
856
00:52:39,267 --> 00:52:43,856
That kitchen Commie cunt
is finally going down.
857
00:52:46,025 --> 00:52:47,275
Oh, man!
858
00:52:48,652 --> 00:52:49,695
Beautiful!
859
00:52:53,824 --> 00:52:55,409
I have a whole life
in front of me.
860
00:52:55,576 --> 00:52:59,538
I don't want to spend it
watching "Storage Wars"
861
00:53:00,206 --> 00:53:02,708
She's bored. You should
take her out more.
862
00:53:02,875 --> 00:53:04,877
Well, maybe I would take her out more
if she didn't flirt with other men.
863
00:53:06,045 --> 00:53:07,922
Have you been
acting like a slut?
864
00:53:08,630 --> 00:53:10,174
I have a body!
865
00:53:10,298 --> 00:53:12,801
I can't help it if people look.
866
00:53:13,010 --> 00:53:15,596
She says it's not her fault
if other people look at her.
867
00:53:15,721 --> 00:53:17,056
Maybe you're too jealous.
868
00:53:17,472 --> 00:53:19,516
All I want is a nice quiet
life, is that so much to ask?
869
00:53:20,726 --> 00:53:22,686
He wants peace and quiet.
870
00:53:24,396 --> 00:53:27,149
He's got a
government job, dummy.
871
00:53:27,399 --> 00:53:28,984
It could be much worse.
872
00:53:32,780 --> 00:53:35,616
His toenails scratch me in bed.
873
00:53:36,951 --> 00:53:38,786
Okay, you have to
get a pedicure.
874
00:53:38,911 --> 00:53:40,871
The long toenails are a problem.
875
00:53:42,790 --> 00:53:43,916
Caputo wants to see you.
876
00:53:44,208 --> 00:53:46,627
I'm busy. I'd go
now if I were you.
877
00:53:50,714 --> 00:53:52,758
That little bitch Mendez.
878
00:53:54,635 --> 00:53:56,678
Couldn't go down like a man.
879
00:53:56,845 --> 00:53:58,346
I'm confused here.
880
00:54:01,391 --> 00:54:04,686
If it goes bad,
take care of my girls.
881
00:54:06,563 --> 00:54:08,314
Bennett, explain
this immediately.
882
00:54:10,651 --> 00:54:11,691
Bennett!
883
00:54:11,777 --> 00:54:14,613
I need to talk about
grocery money.
884
00:54:18,159 --> 00:54:19,285
Behold!
885
00:54:19,409 --> 00:54:23,122
I bring the lost
sheep back to the 99.
886
00:54:23,497 --> 00:54:26,583
All right, as you know, we don't
have a river to dunk you in,
887
00:54:26,667 --> 00:54:28,460
but we cleaned
out the muck sink.
888
00:54:28,543 --> 00:54:30,879
And yeah, you might just
wanna take off your shirt.
889
00:54:31,046 --> 00:54:33,257
Okay! Nope, see,
I can't do this.
890
00:54:33,339 --> 00:54:34,591
I'm sorry.
891
00:54:34,675 --> 00:54:36,593
I really want us to get
along, I do, but I can't
892
00:54:36,677 --> 00:54:38,053
pretend to believe
in something I don't.
893
00:54:38,179 --> 00:54:39,805
And I don't.
894
00:54:39,972 --> 00:54:42,099
Chapman, we've all
had our doubts.
895
00:54:42,266 --> 00:54:44,350
No, see, this isn't doubts.
896
00:54:44,977 --> 00:54:48,856
I believe in science,
I believe in evolution.
897
00:54:49,023 --> 00:54:50,149
I believe in Nate Silver
898
00:54:50,232 --> 00:54:52,193
and Neil deGrasse Tyson
and Christopher Hitchens,
899
00:54:52,276 --> 00:54:54,360
although I do admit, he could
be kind of an asshole.
900
00:54:55,821 --> 00:54:57,405
I cannot get behind
some supreme being
901
00:54:57,531 --> 00:54:58,907
who weighs in on
the Tony Awards
902
00:54:59,033 --> 00:55:00,913
while a million people
get wacked with machetes.
903
00:55:00,993 --> 00:55:02,995
I don't believe a billion
Indians are going to hell,
904
00:55:03,078 --> 00:55:05,371
I don't think we get cancer
to learn life lessons,
905
00:55:05,497 --> 00:55:07,098
and I don't believe
that people die young
906
00:55:07,124 --> 00:55:08,542
because God
needs another angel.
907
00:55:08,667 --> 00:55:11,503
I think it's just bullshit, and on
some level, I think we all know that.
908
00:55:11,586 --> 00:55:12,880
I mean, don't you?
909
00:55:14,089 --> 00:55:16,508
The angel thing does
seem kind of desperate.
910
00:55:17,259 --> 00:55:18,419
I thought you was a Christian.
911
00:55:19,553 --> 00:55:22,556
I am, but I got some questions.
912
00:55:25,517 --> 00:55:28,603
Look, I understand
that religion makes it easier
913
00:55:28,729 --> 00:55:32,398
to deal with all of the random
shitty things that happen to us.
914
00:55:33,650 --> 00:55:37,696
And I wish I could get on that
ride, I'm sure I would be happier.
915
00:55:40,157 --> 00:55:41,242
But I can't.
916
00:55:42,534 --> 00:55:46,247
Feelings aren't enough.
I need it to be real.
917
00:55:46,997 --> 00:55:48,374
I gotta go.
918
00:55:48,623 --> 00:55:50,458
I tried to be your friend.
919
00:55:51,501 --> 00:55:53,795
I hope he makes you very happy.
920
00:55:55,630 --> 00:55:56,924
Excuse me.
921
00:55:59,343 --> 00:56:00,426
Hello?
922
00:56:00,552 --> 00:56:02,054
I'm looking for
Natalie Figueroa.
923
00:56:02,137 --> 00:56:03,264
You found her.
924
00:56:03,389 --> 00:56:04,765
Ms. Figueroa,
this is Andrew Nance
925
00:56:04,848 --> 00:56:07,101
calling from The City Post,
online edition.
926
00:56:07,226 --> 00:56:10,436
I recently caught a public radio
interview with Larry Bloom.
927
00:56:10,520 --> 00:56:13,941
He's engaged to a Litchfield
inmate named Piper Chapman?
928
00:56:14,108 --> 00:56:16,193
I'm sorry, I've never
heard of this person.
929
00:56:16,277 --> 00:56:17,945
Oh. Well in his interview,
930
00:56:18,028 --> 00:56:20,322
Mr. Bloom mentioned some cutbacks
at Litchfield this year.
931
00:56:20,446 --> 00:56:23,325
The closing of the track, for instance,
the GED program shutting down,
932
00:56:23,449 --> 00:56:25,953
medications switched to generics,
those kinds of things.
933
00:56:26,078 --> 00:56:28,799
All of which seem to have been
attributed to budgetary considerations?
934
00:56:28,914 --> 00:56:31,292
Well, we do the best
with what we've got,
935
00:56:31,417 --> 00:56:33,710
but there's always a bottom
line to consider, obviously.
936
00:56:33,877 --> 00:56:35,670
I understand that, obviously.
937
00:56:35,796 --> 00:56:38,632
But, I did some digging into the
budget allocation for New York
938
00:56:38,757 --> 00:56:40,968
and as it turns out, Litchfield
actually got an increase
939
00:56:41,051 --> 00:56:44,512
over the last five
years of $2.3 million.
940
00:56:45,973 --> 00:56:49,101
So, what I'm wondering is,
where did all that money go?
941
00:56:51,686 --> 00:56:53,479
I'll have to look into that.
942
00:56:53,688 --> 00:56:55,088
As I understand it,
you're in charge
943
00:56:55,149 --> 00:56:56,482
of day-to-day
operations at the prison...
944
00:56:56,608 --> 00:56:58,568
I said I'd look into it.
945
00:57:11,665 --> 00:57:13,499
I'm really glad
that you're here.
946
00:57:18,672 --> 00:57:20,882
Listen, neither of us understood
how crazy this was gonna be.
947
00:57:21,008 --> 00:57:22,926
We thought, "Sure,
we'll get married after."
948
00:57:23,010 --> 00:57:24,970
Like, we were just gonna
pick up where we left off.
949
00:57:27,181 --> 00:57:31,601
But, Piper, this, this is
changing you, it's changing me.
950
00:57:33,895 --> 00:57:35,314
You didn't ask for any of this.
951
00:57:35,563 --> 00:57:38,484
No. But we're here.
952
00:57:40,694 --> 00:57:42,821
It's messy and weird
953
00:57:43,905 --> 00:57:47,909
and we're gonna do stupid and
lonely and embarrassing shit.
954
00:57:48,035 --> 00:57:51,205
And either we
can do it together,
955
00:57:51,288 --> 00:57:53,707
get married, now,
in this room, possibly,
956
00:57:53,790 --> 00:57:55,230
as soon as we can
file the paperwork,
957
00:57:55,250 --> 00:57:58,586
and do it as
husband and wife or...
958
00:58:05,386 --> 00:58:06,470
Or we have to break up.
959
00:58:06,553 --> 00:58:09,056
Because this thing that we're
doing now, this in-between?
960
00:58:10,849 --> 00:58:11,892
I can't.
961
00:58:15,103 --> 00:58:16,313
So,
962
00:58:19,900 --> 00:58:21,651
what do you say?
963
00:58:26,614 --> 00:58:28,409
You know what I got to do.
964
00:58:28,492 --> 00:58:29,951
Hmm? Hmm?
965
00:58:30,077 --> 00:58:31,537
She disrespected me.
966
00:58:31,786 --> 00:58:33,705
Mmm-hmm.
Mmm-hmm.
967
00:58:34,331 --> 00:58:35,749
Now,
968
00:58:36,791 --> 00:58:39,086
I'm gonna have to kill her.
969
00:58:39,586 --> 00:58:50,133
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com