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Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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Did you get in trouble, too?
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00:02:10,016 --> 00:02:14,061
Sometimes the feelings inside
me get messy like dirt.
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00:02:14,312 --> 00:02:15,813
And I like to clean things.
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00:02:15,896 --> 00:02:18,107
Pretend the dirt
is the feelings.
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00:02:19,066 --> 00:02:20,985
This floor is my mind.
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00:02:21,610 --> 00:02:24,655
That is called coping.
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And the COs don't care
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'cause they like things clean.
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And that is called symbiosis.
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Suzanne, listen.
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00:02:39,086 --> 00:02:42,548
Those things that
Larry said on the radio?
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They sounded a lot worse
than they really were.
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And when I said those things to
him, it was before I knew you.
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00:02:50,472 --> 00:02:52,892
Before I knew what
a nice person you are.
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00:02:55,519 --> 00:02:57,639
And you have to admit that
you come on a little strong.
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It's okay, dandelion.
You know why?
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I used to spend
a lot of time thinking
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00:03:04,028 --> 00:03:05,571
how I could make you love me.
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00:03:05,696 --> 00:03:08,282
Like, if I had
long pretty hair,
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00:03:08,406 --> 00:03:10,910
or if I made a chocolate
cake with frosting,
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or if I had a green bicycle.
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No! You are great
the way that you are.
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I know.
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00:03:18,959 --> 00:03:22,588
Because the answer is,
you're not a nice person.
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00:03:26,175 --> 00:03:27,968
You're a mean person.
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00:03:28,344 --> 00:03:32,390
And I used to think you
was a yellow dandelion
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00:03:33,682 --> 00:03:36,560
but you're all dried up
with the puff blown off.
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And it's not your fault.
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00:03:38,562 --> 00:03:42,566
You are who you are,
like, I am who I am.
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00:03:43,943 --> 00:03:44,944
I'm not mean.
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00:03:47,863 --> 00:03:50,241
I didn't mean
to be mean to you.
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00:03:52,076 --> 00:03:54,370
You gotta start
from the inside out
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or else you'll
step on the clean.
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00:04:13,806 --> 00:04:14,932
Hey.
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00:04:15,599 --> 00:04:17,476
Look at you,
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waking up for crack
of dawn I-told-you-so.
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00:04:20,187 --> 00:04:21,480
That's dedication.
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00:04:22,148 --> 00:04:23,649
I have to pee.
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But as long as I'm here,
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how's that, uh, spontaneous
confession treating you?
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00:04:28,654 --> 00:04:31,157
Shittier than I thought,
which is impressive,
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considering I'm literally
scrubbing toilets.
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You're sucking all of the
joy out of my gloat.
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You gonna tell me what
happened with the fiance?
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Oh, you know,
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I accused him of feeding
on my misfortune
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with the sensitivity
of a vampire squid,
49
00:04:46,922 --> 00:04:50,009
and then he accused
me of betraying him
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in a disgusting, yet totally
predictable manner.
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So, we're in a good place.
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I'm sorry, Pipes.
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And that was before
he told me that his father,
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00:05:02,313 --> 00:05:05,524
AKA my lawyer,
looked at the records
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00:05:05,941 --> 00:05:12,239
and found out that it was you
who ratted me out to the Feds.
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00:05:19,788 --> 00:05:20,789
Fuck.
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00:05:20,914 --> 00:05:23,542
Don't worry about it. I
mean, fool me once, right?
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00:05:24,626 --> 00:05:26,545
Okay, listen...
Alex.
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I'm over it. Really.
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It's fine.
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You got mine?
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Caputo's special!
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You know, you're not supposed to
take food out of here, Sister.
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00:06:00,371 --> 00:06:02,415
Maybe we
can bend that rule a bit.
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00:06:02,498 --> 00:06:05,125
At my age you, you've got to
keep your blood sugar steady.
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00:06:05,251 --> 00:06:06,626
I dip at around 10:00.
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00:06:08,087 --> 00:06:09,422
Don't worry about it.
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00:06:14,134 --> 00:06:16,845
Oatmeal and cheese
sandwich, no crusts.
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00:06:19,181 --> 00:06:20,807
You should eat something.
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He's coming.
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00:06:28,732 --> 00:06:31,985
I like the
shape of your ears.
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What else do you
like the shape of?
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00:06:43,330 --> 00:06:44,831
You know what I miss?
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Mimosas.
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00:06:47,876 --> 00:06:50,628
I'm gonna need your help
with something.
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You missed breakfast.
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I needed to sleep
more than I needed eggs.
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00:07:02,141 --> 00:07:04,143
Miss Claudette,
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00:07:04,268 --> 00:07:06,644
I want to apologize to you for
everything that Larry said.
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I had no idea it was gonna...
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00:07:08,105 --> 00:07:10,649
I know the stories they
say about me, Chapman.
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00:07:10,732 --> 00:07:12,852
I wish you'd thought enough
of me to ask for the truth.
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If you're getting sick,
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00:07:19,741 --> 00:07:20,826
please keep your hands clean
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00:07:20,951 --> 00:07:22,702
and stay on your side
of the room.
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00:07:23,454 --> 00:07:26,499
Tomorrow is a big day for me
and I won't have you ruin it.
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00:07:26,624 --> 00:07:28,167
That seems to be
a talent of yours.
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You ain't said
nothin' all morning.
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There ain't nothing
worth saying.
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00:07:37,717 --> 00:07:39,518
And they say there's no
such thing as miracles.
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00:07:41,514 --> 00:07:43,682
Yikes.
No scrappy rejoinder?
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00:07:44,808 --> 00:07:46,409
They must have put
you on the scary meds.
93
00:07:47,019 --> 00:07:48,380
Why ain't you
throwing back at her?
94
00:07:48,521 --> 00:07:50,063
'Cause there ain't no
point, Leanne, all right?
95
00:07:50,189 --> 00:07:51,731
I got beat.
96
00:07:51,857 --> 00:07:54,151
Ain't nobody up there
looking out for me no more.
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00:07:54,734 --> 00:07:56,028
I'm looking out for you.
98
00:07:56,445 --> 00:07:57,779
You know,
he finally come to me,
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00:07:57,863 --> 00:07:59,783
after all this time that
I've been following him.
100
00:07:59,823 --> 00:08:01,950
I finally heard him talk to me,
101
00:08:02,034 --> 00:08:05,037
him saying how I was
his girl, I was.
102
00:08:06,288 --> 00:08:07,456
Turns out it weren't him.
103
00:08:07,540 --> 00:08:09,041
No, it was Chapman,
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00:08:09,542 --> 00:08:11,251
the bitch devil of Litchfield.
105
00:08:11,918 --> 00:08:14,338
Well, you missed her
boyfriend's crazy radio show.
106
00:08:14,505 --> 00:08:16,632
Hey. Chapman put
her ass on the line
107
00:08:16,715 --> 00:08:18,842
to get you out
of Psych, you know?
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00:08:19,009 --> 00:08:20,409
She's cleaning toilets
every morning
109
00:08:20,427 --> 00:08:21,761
like Private
"fucking" Benjamin.
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00:08:22,971 --> 00:08:26,058
Look, I ain't looking
for revenge, okay?
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00:08:27,809 --> 00:08:29,895
She'd probably
kick my ass anyway.
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No way, Tucky. You're
small but you got spit.
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Man, do you know what it means,
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when there ain't nobody up
there punishing the evildoers?
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00:08:38,404 --> 00:08:41,532
It means there ain't nobody giving out
prizes for the good ones, neither.
116
00:08:42,241 --> 00:08:45,452
'Cause there ain't no judge,
there ain't no justice.
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00:08:45,578 --> 00:08:50,249
We just crawl around this Earth
like ants and then we die.
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You don't gotta kill it.
119
00:09:00,008 --> 00:09:02,219
I'm just thinking
about you, is all.
120
00:09:02,928 --> 00:09:04,137
I mean, you
show 'em a baby,
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00:09:04,263 --> 00:09:05,783
you get good money
from the government.
122
00:09:07,140 --> 00:09:08,475
Plus WIC packages.
123
00:09:09,809 --> 00:09:12,354
All kinds of things
in them packages you get.
124
00:09:12,438 --> 00:09:15,190
Cheese, peanut butter.
125
00:09:16,609 --> 00:09:17,776
Baby food.
126
00:09:19,027 --> 00:09:21,572
Hell, you can make a good
casserole out of baby food.
127
00:09:21,655 --> 00:09:24,283
Sprinkle some Fritos
on top, tuna.
128
00:09:25,075 --> 00:09:29,496
Tasty as hell, and baby
food is vegetables.
129
00:09:29,705 --> 00:09:31,306
Well, if you're eating
all the baby food,
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00:09:31,415 --> 00:09:33,208
what's the baby supposed to eat?
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00:09:35,628 --> 00:09:37,129
Suit yourself.
132
00:09:37,421 --> 00:09:38,631
I'm not keeping it, Arlen.
133
00:09:41,091 --> 00:09:42,801
You never keep it.
134
00:09:45,011 --> 00:09:49,182
Look, my cousin, Sierra, she had a
baby down at County last summer,
135
00:09:49,433 --> 00:09:50,726
and after they drug tested her,
136
00:09:50,809 --> 00:09:52,311
they took the baby boy away
137
00:09:52,394 --> 00:09:56,189
and they arrested her for
endangering a minor, okay?
138
00:09:57,023 --> 00:09:59,318
So, I think babies
are cute and all
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00:09:59,401 --> 00:10:02,112
but I ain't going
to jail for this fucker.
140
00:10:03,656 --> 00:10:05,491
Well, another idea is,
141
00:10:08,577 --> 00:10:09,995
you could stop doing drugs.
142
00:10:26,470 --> 00:10:29,556
For real, though, I need a
ride tomorrow to the clinic.
143
00:10:31,558 --> 00:10:35,437
Hell, tomorrow I gotta do
the thing with the hammers.
144
00:10:47,491 --> 00:10:48,617
Jesus!
145
00:10:48,701 --> 00:10:49,785
Hey.
146
00:10:52,287 --> 00:10:53,997
You know what's overrated?
147
00:10:55,123 --> 00:10:56,375
Toast.
148
00:11:01,171 --> 00:11:02,339
Wanna fuck in the pantry?
149
00:11:02,464 --> 00:11:04,383
Hey!
Get out of here.
150
00:11:04,508 --> 00:11:05,718
You're gonna get us shot.
151
00:11:06,092 --> 00:11:07,511
I'm serious.
152
00:11:09,179 --> 00:11:11,020
I was so afraid about you
finding out the truth,
153
00:11:11,097 --> 00:11:12,725
but now it's out,
and it's okay.
154
00:11:13,183 --> 00:11:14,768
It's kind of a rush.
155
00:11:15,728 --> 00:11:17,604
Cool thing about sex
in an industrial kitchen
156
00:11:17,730 --> 00:11:18,938
is there's a ton
of margarine in here.
157
00:11:19,189 --> 00:11:20,190
Stop it, Alex.
158
00:11:20,273 --> 00:11:21,274
Come on, babe.
159
00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:23,151
Let's celebrate how totally
fine you are with everything.
160
00:11:23,276 --> 00:11:24,361
You're freaking me out.
161
00:11:24,444 --> 00:11:25,487
You ain't seen nothing yet.
162
00:11:25,654 --> 00:11:26,988
I said stop it.
What?
163
00:11:27,072 --> 00:11:29,366
Can't a girl be totally overcome
with desire for someone
164
00:11:29,449 --> 00:11:30,534
who's being so cool,
165
00:11:30,617 --> 00:11:31,660
and so forgiving?
166
00:11:31,744 --> 00:11:33,328
We're not okay!
167
00:11:35,913 --> 00:11:37,165
This is not fine!
168
00:11:37,249 --> 00:11:39,752
Good. Now we could
talk about it.
169
00:11:39,917 --> 00:11:40,957
It that what this is about?
170
00:11:41,086 --> 00:11:42,920
Yeah. That's what this is about.
171
00:11:43,589 --> 00:11:46,759
You find out that I personally
got you thrown in here
172
00:11:46,884 --> 00:11:49,636
at the exact moment your manicured
fingers were like closing
173
00:11:49,762 --> 00:11:50,846
on the yuppie brass ring,
174
00:11:50,928 --> 00:11:53,139
and somehow you don't
have a problem with it?
175
00:11:53,265 --> 00:11:54,433
You are so full of shit.
176
00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:55,893
Fuck you.
177
00:11:56,934 --> 00:11:58,437
Fuck you, Alex.
178
00:11:59,062 --> 00:12:00,355
You want me to be angry?
179
00:12:00,439 --> 00:12:03,609
Well, guess what, I'm really fucking
angry, because I love you, Alex.
180
00:12:05,277 --> 00:12:08,363
I love you
and I fucking hate you.
181
00:12:09,656 --> 00:12:11,784
I have really been trying
to keep my shit together,
182
00:12:11,909 --> 00:12:15,328
but if you really need to see
me Hulk out over this...
183
00:12:18,206 --> 00:12:19,750
Larry left you, didn't he?
184
00:12:23,295 --> 00:12:26,799
And that's why you're
fake-fine with me.
185
00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:29,802
Right now you're willing to
overlook pretty much anything
186
00:12:29,927 --> 00:12:33,555
because ultimately you are
just terrified of being alone.
187
00:12:36,349 --> 00:12:38,351
Is that what I am to you?
188
00:12:38,685 --> 00:12:43,649
A fucking binky for you to
suck on until you feel better?
189
00:12:46,693 --> 00:12:47,861
Look at me.
190
00:12:52,950 --> 00:12:54,534
Why did you do it?
191
00:12:54,701 --> 00:12:56,578
They were offering less time.
192
00:12:57,329 --> 00:12:59,289
A lot less time, depending
on how much I gave them.
193
00:13:00,206 --> 00:13:03,836
I hadn't seen or heard
from you in eight years.
194
00:13:04,001 --> 00:13:07,547
You weren't even real anymore,
which made it easier.
195
00:13:09,299 --> 00:13:12,302
And I was pretty sure one of the
other guys would give you up anyway.
196
00:13:12,427 --> 00:13:15,597
And if I'm being really honest,
197
00:13:15,681 --> 00:13:17,265
I was still pissed at you.
198
00:13:18,517 --> 00:13:19,935
For leaving.
199
00:13:21,269 --> 00:13:22,437
For my mom.
200
00:13:23,689 --> 00:13:27,860
So, yeah, at that moment
I probably was just, like,
201
00:13:27,985 --> 00:13:29,903
"Fuck you," you know?
202
00:13:32,405 --> 00:13:33,866
I'm not proud of myself.
203
00:13:33,991 --> 00:13:35,534
You lied to me.
204
00:13:36,702 --> 00:13:38,453
When I first got here
you could've given me
205
00:13:38,537 --> 00:13:39,788
this whole speech right then.
206
00:13:41,206 --> 00:13:43,208
I wanted you to like me.
207
00:13:45,042 --> 00:13:46,211
I still do.
208
00:13:47,004 --> 00:13:50,382
Maybe you should've thought
that all the way through.
209
00:14:02,561 --> 00:14:03,562
Ugh.
210
00:14:03,645 --> 00:14:05,146
This isn't even
remotely coffee.
211
00:14:05,856 --> 00:14:07,440
No, it's dandelions.
212
00:14:07,941 --> 00:14:09,693
Which are loaded
with potassium, man.
213
00:14:09,776 --> 00:14:12,153
Everyone thinks potassium
is all about the bananas,
214
00:14:12,237 --> 00:14:14,113
but that is
banana-lobby bullshit.
215
00:14:17,743 --> 00:14:19,327
She does have a point
about the radio thing,
216
00:14:19,411 --> 00:14:21,038
I'll cop to that.
217
00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:22,915
She's the most interesting
thing about me right now,
218
00:14:22,998 --> 00:14:25,417
and I used that.
Mmm.
219
00:14:25,834 --> 00:14:28,211
And I guess it was a dick move.
220
00:14:28,294 --> 00:14:30,630
But that doesn't make it
okay that she cheated on me.
221
00:14:30,839 --> 00:14:32,966
No, cheating
is a strong word, pal.
222
00:14:33,592 --> 00:14:35,594
Sorry, is there
another word for
223
00:14:35,677 --> 00:14:37,763
"fucking someone other than
the person you promised,
224
00:14:37,846 --> 00:14:39,723
"in the very recent past,
225
00:14:39,806 --> 00:14:41,516
"to fuck exclusively forever"?
226
00:14:41,767 --> 00:14:43,887
Uh, no. I'm just saying that
this "someone" was a girl,
227
00:14:43,936 --> 00:14:45,103
which isn't really cheating.
228
00:14:46,187 --> 00:14:49,107
Like, you and Piper
play squash together.
229
00:14:49,232 --> 00:14:52,444
And if in her downtime she
joins a softball team, then...
230
00:14:52,611 --> 00:14:54,780
That's the bigger problem
with this whole thing.
231
00:14:54,905 --> 00:14:56,615
She fucked a woman.
232
00:14:56,740 --> 00:14:58,742
So what, is she gay now?
233
00:14:59,743 --> 00:15:04,664
I don't know about "now." I just
think that she is what she is, man.
234
00:15:05,999 --> 00:15:07,500
Which is what exactly?
235
00:15:07,667 --> 00:15:09,836
I'm gonna go ahead and guess
that one of the issues here
236
00:15:09,962 --> 00:15:13,423
is your need to say that a
person is exactly anything.
237
00:15:18,804 --> 00:15:20,806
I think it might be over.
238
00:15:26,019 --> 00:15:27,437
Uh...
No offense, Bloomer,
239
00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:30,273
but it's super weird
that I'm in the middle here.
240
00:15:31,524 --> 00:15:32,804
You know,
one of the main reasons
241
00:15:32,818 --> 00:15:34,778
that I live 110 miles
from civilization
242
00:15:34,861 --> 00:15:37,363
is I'm kind of allergic
to other people's drama.
243
00:15:37,489 --> 00:15:40,533
Including, and sometimes especially
when it involves my sister.
244
00:15:40,659 --> 00:15:42,535
That's kind of the whole point,
245
00:15:42,661 --> 00:15:43,996
you know what I'm saying?
246
00:15:44,663 --> 00:15:47,707
Yeah. I know. Uh...
You want me to take off?
247
00:15:48,041 --> 00:15:50,669
No, man. Absolutely chill
here for a few days
248
00:15:50,752 --> 00:15:52,004
if it helps you out.
249
00:15:52,129 --> 00:15:53,755
I would just really
enjoy not being involved
250
00:15:53,839 --> 00:15:56,800
in any kind
of decision-making process.
251
00:15:56,883 --> 00:15:59,564
And respect the limitations of the septic system.
252
00:15:59,636 --> 00:16:01,387
It's touch-and-go
as it is.
253
00:16:06,434 --> 00:16:07,435
Holy shit.
254
00:16:12,691 --> 00:16:14,609
Everything okay?
Dude, I'm engaged!
255
00:16:32,669 --> 00:16:35,130
Mr. Caputo, I gotta
make a complaint
256
00:16:35,213 --> 00:16:37,174
about the fungus in
the Spanish showers.
257
00:16:37,256 --> 00:16:38,257
Talk to a CO about that.
258
00:16:38,383 --> 00:16:39,663
I did. They told
me to come to you
259
00:16:39,718 --> 00:16:42,137
because you were the only one that
could deal with this from high up.
260
00:16:42,220 --> 00:16:43,221
I bet they did.
261
00:16:43,304 --> 00:16:47,893
I got a serious case
underneath my big toenail.
262
00:16:48,518 --> 00:16:52,898
It is all squishy
and green under there.
263
00:16:52,981 --> 00:16:54,066
As a matter of fact,
let me show you.
264
00:16:54,191 --> 00:16:57,027
No. That will absolutely
not be necessary.
265
00:16:57,235 --> 00:16:59,946
Well, could you at least get Crazy
Eyes over to the light brown side?
266
00:17:00,072 --> 00:17:02,490
I mean, she's keeping the ghetto
cleaner than a nun's chocha, mira.
267
00:17:02,574 --> 00:17:05,243
And another thing,
between my pinkie toe
268
00:17:05,326 --> 00:17:07,913
and my ring toe, it is
bad news, bad news!
269
00:17:08,038 --> 00:17:09,915
So when I go to medical
call and I show them,
270
00:17:09,998 --> 00:17:11,750
they write that shit down,
271
00:17:11,833 --> 00:17:14,377
I gotta let them know
that I told you guys.
272
00:17:14,586 --> 00:17:16,171
What happened
to your shower shoes?
273
00:17:16,379 --> 00:17:17,630
So I just passed out
sitting there like that,
274
00:17:17,756 --> 00:17:19,636
and then when I woke up
my zoris, they were gone,
275
00:17:19,674 --> 00:17:20,717
right off my feet.
276
00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:25,013
Which reminds me, stealing, that's
another problem we've been having.
277
00:17:27,891 --> 00:17:29,252
Well, what are you
gonna do, right?
278
00:17:29,267 --> 00:17:30,769
At least we got our sanity.
279
00:17:32,437 --> 00:17:34,564
Oh, look at that.
Ten of jack.
280
00:17:34,898 --> 00:17:39,111
Mr. Caputo, I think I heard somebody
crying in the utility closet.
281
00:17:39,236 --> 00:17:40,445
Oh, well, we can't have that.
282
00:17:40,528 --> 00:17:42,572
I'm just saying
'cause we had that suicide
283
00:17:42,655 --> 00:17:44,157
and you know
how these girls are.
284
00:17:44,282 --> 00:17:46,910
They get an idea in their heads
and if you don't watch out
285
00:17:46,993 --> 00:17:49,788
they start offing themselves every
time they get their period.
286
00:17:49,871 --> 00:17:52,165
I know you guys wrote a really
encouraging memo about it,
287
00:17:52,290 --> 00:17:53,374
but truth be told,
288
00:17:53,458 --> 00:17:56,044
I'm not sure
everybody here can read.
289
00:17:56,128 --> 00:17:58,130
I mean, I would
look into it myself
290
00:17:58,255 --> 00:18:00,090
but I got too much empathy.
291
00:18:00,215 --> 00:18:01,424
Lays me low.
292
00:18:01,591 --> 00:18:03,342
If I am not home
in my massage chair
293
00:18:03,468 --> 00:18:05,887
holding a glass of Wild
Turkey in 25 minutes,
294
00:18:05,971 --> 00:18:07,931
I am holding you
personally responsible.
295
00:18:13,061 --> 00:18:16,481
Yeah. That's it, baby. Faster.
296
00:18:18,316 --> 00:18:20,026
Seriously, faster.
297
00:18:21,360 --> 00:18:23,280
Oh, my God.
Here it comes.
298
00:18:23,362 --> 00:18:27,533
Oh, God! Oh, God!
I, I love you. Oh, God!
299
00:18:29,368 --> 00:18:31,246
Christ on a cross.
300
00:18:38,253 --> 00:18:39,712
You seem very chipper
this morning.
301
00:18:40,255 --> 00:18:43,175
My lawyer thinks the judge
is leaning our way.
302
00:18:43,258 --> 00:18:45,551
We find out this afternoon.
303
00:18:47,179 --> 00:18:48,805
Oh, I have something for you.
304
00:18:51,016 --> 00:18:52,558
Well, honestly,
I got it for myself,
305
00:18:52,684 --> 00:18:54,352
but I figured you could use it.
306
00:18:55,770 --> 00:18:56,896
For your special day.
307
00:18:57,022 --> 00:18:58,773
I don't know
if that is my color.
308
00:18:58,898 --> 00:19:00,817
Hold out your hand.
309
00:19:12,078 --> 00:19:14,455
You have any big plans
if this all works out?
310
00:19:14,914 --> 00:19:16,916
There is someone
waiting for me.
311
00:19:17,042 --> 00:19:18,877
That is plan enough.
312
00:19:19,127 --> 00:19:22,421
And I'm going to eat
dinner at dinner time.
313
00:19:23,631 --> 00:19:26,843
At 7:00,
like a person.
314
00:19:28,136 --> 00:19:29,137
What do you think?
315
00:19:30,388 --> 00:19:31,890
Pretty.
Hmm.
316
00:19:53,661 --> 00:19:54,787
Fuck me running.
317
00:19:54,913 --> 00:19:57,749
Are you trying to kill the
warden, Joe, is that it?
318
00:19:57,832 --> 00:19:59,334
Are you trying to lay him
out flat with a stroke?
319
00:19:59,417 --> 00:20:01,586
Because hired fucking assassins
320
00:20:01,669 --> 00:20:02,837
could not be doing
a better job on him
321
00:20:02,921 --> 00:20:04,505
than you are right now.
322
00:20:04,881 --> 00:20:06,174
It was an isolated incident.
323
00:20:06,299 --> 00:20:08,634
Oh, right. Like the
hanging two weeks ago.
324
00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:10,929
Or the maple syrup situation
before that.
325
00:20:11,054 --> 00:20:13,134
An armadillo could run this
place better than you can,
326
00:20:13,139 --> 00:20:14,182
I swear to God.
327
00:20:14,266 --> 00:20:16,101
I can't be everywhere.
328
00:20:16,809 --> 00:20:19,938
You can't blame me
for this scumbag deciding
329
00:20:20,063 --> 00:20:22,607
last night was his go time
to start raping people.
330
00:20:22,690 --> 00:20:25,235
Whoa, whoa, whoa. We are not
talking about a rape here.
331
00:20:25,944 --> 00:20:27,946
We're not using the "R" word.
332
00:20:28,029 --> 00:20:31,199
A CO fucks an inmate
against her will...
333
00:20:31,408 --> 00:20:34,327
Did she scream?
Was she crying?
334
00:20:34,452 --> 00:20:36,871
These girls throwing
themselves at COs
335
00:20:36,955 --> 00:20:37,997
thinking they can
get out of here
336
00:20:38,123 --> 00:20:39,283
and snag a government pension.
337
00:20:39,332 --> 00:20:40,541
Read the rules, Fig.
338
00:20:40,625 --> 00:20:42,627
The girl can't give consent
even if she wants to.
339
00:20:42,794 --> 00:20:47,799
Listen to me. We are not putting
rape on the record right now.
340
00:20:49,467 --> 00:20:52,929
Mendez is gonna take a
little leave without pay.
341
00:20:54,139 --> 00:20:57,309
Uh, the stress of the job is
getting to him, etcetera.
342
00:20:57,767 --> 00:21:00,812
Frankly, we could use the money,
the budget is shot to hell.
343
00:21:00,937 --> 00:21:05,150
I am going to sell this
to the warden as a plus.
344
00:21:08,403 --> 00:21:11,489
It's getting a little old
cleaning up your messes, Joe.
345
00:21:23,626 --> 00:21:24,836
What the hell happened last night?
You okay?
346
00:21:24,961 --> 00:21:25,962
Should you be working?
347
00:21:26,045 --> 00:21:27,088
I'm fine.
348
00:21:27,255 --> 00:21:28,381
Daya, if he hurt you...
349
00:21:28,506 --> 00:21:31,468
Bennett, I'm fine.
And now you're fine, too.
350
00:21:33,470 --> 00:21:34,512
What?
351
00:21:34,595 --> 00:21:36,514
Now, when they find out
I got a baby in me,
352
00:21:36,639 --> 00:21:38,516
it ain't gonna
come down on you.
353
00:21:41,019 --> 00:21:42,103
Oh, my God.
354
00:21:43,104 --> 00:21:44,897
Don't be mad.
You did it on purpose?
355
00:21:45,023 --> 00:21:47,108
Because I love you.
I did it for us.
356
00:21:47,275 --> 00:21:49,277
For us, you fucked Mendez?
357
00:21:50,028 --> 00:21:52,197
And you lied? You got him
suspended without pay.
358
00:21:52,364 --> 00:21:53,739
Suspended?
359
00:21:53,865 --> 00:21:56,784
They ain't fired that fucknut?
He raped me.
360
00:21:56,951 --> 00:21:58,495
He didn't rape you,
you framed him.
361
00:21:58,577 --> 00:22:00,079
Yeah, but as far as they know.
362
00:22:02,290 --> 00:22:03,916
Anyway, it don't matter.
363
00:22:04,042 --> 00:22:05,668
Everything's gonna be okay now.
364
00:22:09,088 --> 00:22:10,215
Who are you?
365
00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:23,895
So what?
Leanne call you?
366
00:22:24,437 --> 00:22:25,730
She's worried about you.
367
00:22:25,813 --> 00:22:27,065
Said you haven't been yourself.
368
00:22:27,190 --> 00:22:29,901
Yeah.
She's probably right.
369
00:22:30,026 --> 00:22:32,346
I'm still getting out from under
the meds that they gave me.
370
00:22:32,778 --> 00:22:33,905
Why?
371
00:22:34,030 --> 00:22:36,573
'Cause you so much as even
squawk about God in here,
372
00:22:36,699 --> 00:22:38,451
and you get thrown in
with the Looney Toons.
373
00:22:38,743 --> 00:22:40,745
Yeah. Well, liberals
are everywhere.
374
00:22:40,870 --> 00:22:42,350
Yeah. Well, they ain't
wrong, you know?
375
00:22:42,579 --> 00:22:43,580
About what?
376
00:22:44,123 --> 00:22:45,875
Oh, this girl, Chapman?
377
00:22:47,085 --> 00:22:50,129
She made me believe that he'd chose me.
He didn't.
378
00:22:50,255 --> 00:22:53,049
They all disrespecting me,
he didn't do nothing.
379
00:22:53,883 --> 00:22:55,093
He let 'em laugh at me.
380
00:22:55,176 --> 00:22:58,137
Conclusion being that I don't
think he exists at all.
381
00:22:58,263 --> 00:23:01,391
And if he does, he ain't
a person I wanna know.
382
00:23:03,351 --> 00:23:07,105
Matthew 5:11.
383
00:23:07,272 --> 00:23:11,443
"Blessed are ye, when men shall
revile you, and persecute you,
384
00:23:11,568 --> 00:23:13,445
"and shall speak
all manner of evil
385
00:23:13,528 --> 00:23:15,738
"against you falsely,
for my sake."
386
00:23:15,821 --> 00:23:17,907
He hasn't abandoned you,
Tiffany.
387
00:23:18,615 --> 00:23:20,617
Maybe he just wants you to
notice someone who needs him.
388
00:23:20,743 --> 00:23:21,786
She don't need him, okay?
389
00:23:21,869 --> 00:23:25,957
All she needs is her own self and her
sasquatch of a girlfriend, okay?
390
00:23:26,124 --> 00:23:28,793
People hurt other people
because they're unhappy.
391
00:23:29,544 --> 00:23:31,464
Because they feel guilty
over things they've done
392
00:23:31,588 --> 00:23:33,047
and they have no one
to forgive them.
393
00:23:33,131 --> 00:23:35,508
You might as well
tell me to turn into a duck.
394
00:23:36,092 --> 00:23:37,218
'Cause I ain't forgiving her.
395
00:23:37,302 --> 00:23:40,637
I mean, I have to confess that to
you right now, I'm not that big.
396
00:23:41,806 --> 00:23:43,600
God wants you to be that big.
397
00:23:43,682 --> 00:23:46,185
He chose you to be a hero.
398
00:23:47,019 --> 00:23:49,481
Remember how you yourself
have been forgiven.
399
00:24:20,512 --> 00:24:22,013
Number five, huh?
400
00:24:22,096 --> 00:24:25,099
We should give you a punch-card,
get the sixth one free.
401
00:24:47,372 --> 00:24:48,892
You best not waste
my squirrel bullets.
402
00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:50,500
She disrespected me.
403
00:25:03,262 --> 00:25:06,265
I assume
you heard about Mendez.
404
00:25:06,641 --> 00:25:08,518
I heard
he was fraternizing, sir.
405
00:25:09,185 --> 00:25:10,562
"Fraternizing."
406
00:25:11,396 --> 00:25:14,815
Fischer, I've seen some
things I can't unsee.
407
00:25:15,316 --> 00:25:16,733
I can imagine.
408
00:25:17,068 --> 00:25:21,113
More importantly, I've had
to put an officer on ice,
409
00:25:21,239 --> 00:25:25,410
leaving us short-handed a week
before the Christmas pageant.
410
00:25:25,493 --> 00:25:31,040
You have not seen crazy until you've
seen 200 women with anger issues
411
00:25:31,123 --> 00:25:35,086
fighting over who's gonna
be the ass-end of a camel.
412
00:25:36,087 --> 00:25:37,380
Are we working extra hours?
413
00:25:37,922 --> 00:25:40,091
Washington won't cover
two-ply toilet paper,
414
00:25:40,174 --> 00:25:42,093
they're not gonna start
shelling out overtime.
415
00:25:42,218 --> 00:25:44,053
We'll get a body in
from down the hill.
416
00:25:44,554 --> 00:25:47,223
What I need from you is,
417
00:25:48,765 --> 00:25:51,519
not to get yourself in
trouble the way Mendez did.
418
00:25:51,644 --> 00:25:53,688
Oh, I'm not gay, sir.
419
00:25:53,896 --> 00:25:56,148
No, God, no,
I didn't mean that.
420
00:25:56,274 --> 00:25:59,277
No. You are straight
as they come.
421
00:25:59,527 --> 00:26:03,780
I mean, does a zebra
have stripes, am I right?
422
00:26:03,948 --> 00:26:05,241
Exactly.
423
00:26:05,617 --> 00:26:10,705
No, what I mean is, you can't
go easy on the inmates.
424
00:26:11,788 --> 00:26:14,041
They will take
advantage of you.
425
00:26:15,376 --> 00:26:18,630
I saw you yesterday,
look the other way
426
00:26:18,713 --> 00:26:21,382
when the nun moved
a contraband muffin.
427
00:26:21,716 --> 00:26:22,916
Oh, Sister Ingalls is harmless.
428
00:26:22,967 --> 00:26:24,302
Sister Ingalls killed a man.
429
00:26:24,427 --> 00:26:26,053
I thought she was
a political protester.
430
00:26:26,845 --> 00:26:28,473
That's not the point.
431
00:26:28,598 --> 00:26:30,807
The point is,
these women are criminals.
432
00:26:31,309 --> 00:26:34,145
And even the cuddly-looking
ones, they have done some shit
433
00:26:34,270 --> 00:26:38,065
that would terrify a kind-hearted
person such as yourself.
434
00:26:39,609 --> 00:26:42,236
Fischer, you need to
get on your game.
435
00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:43,820
You maintain your authority,
436
00:26:43,904 --> 00:26:46,532
you remind them
who's in charge.
437
00:26:46,658 --> 00:26:49,826
If you want,
I can help you out.
438
00:26:51,162 --> 00:26:54,332
Be a mentor or something.
439
00:26:54,540 --> 00:26:56,420
You think it would help
if I use a deeper voice?
440
00:26:56,501 --> 00:26:58,085
"Move along, Sister."
441
00:26:58,586 --> 00:26:59,836
It could, sure.
442
00:26:59,920 --> 00:27:03,299
Also, it helps if you
don't use their names.
443
00:27:03,716 --> 00:27:07,470
Just say, "inmate," like
they're all the same to you.
444
00:27:07,553 --> 00:27:09,846
It reminds them
they're not really people.
445
00:27:10,473 --> 00:27:11,516
They are people.
446
00:27:17,021 --> 00:27:20,358
You can't think that way.
They are sheep.
447
00:27:21,025 --> 00:27:24,861
We feed them, we herd them
from one room to the next.
448
00:27:27,365 --> 00:27:28,700
They're not like you.
449
00:27:30,743 --> 00:27:31,828
You're a woman.
450
00:27:34,539 --> 00:27:36,040
And I'm a man.
451
00:27:39,293 --> 00:27:41,045
All right. Got the
bread crumbs, right?
452
00:27:41,170 --> 00:27:42,879
Come back for that.
Take that in.
453
00:28:17,874 --> 00:28:19,124
What the fuck is this?
454
00:28:19,250 --> 00:28:20,585
Oh, don't start with me.
455
00:28:20,668 --> 00:28:23,254
We are done with
factory meat, babe.
456
00:28:23,379 --> 00:28:25,256
There's no reason why
we can't responsibly
457
00:28:25,339 --> 00:28:27,299
hunt all the animal
protein we need.
458
00:28:27,425 --> 00:28:28,509
Yeah, I was hungry.
459
00:28:28,676 --> 00:28:30,678
Is this some
kind of game to you?
460
00:28:30,762 --> 00:28:34,306
I can't even put this in the compost
pile, it'll make the worms sick.
461
00:28:34,432 --> 00:28:37,017
We're 100% on the same page
philosophically, babe,
462
00:28:37,101 --> 00:28:41,105
but I think we really need to
calibrate the intensity factor.
463
00:28:41,230 --> 00:28:43,065
Oh, you think I'm intense? Yeah.
464
00:28:43,190 --> 00:28:44,442
Okay, guess what?
Without me,
465
00:28:44,525 --> 00:28:46,318
all you're doing is
smoking pot in the forest
466
00:28:46,444 --> 00:28:48,153
in a flannel shirt
and a hipster beard,
467
00:28:48,279 --> 00:28:49,988
like a fat Bon Iver,
468
00:28:50,114 --> 00:28:52,408
the fucking Jack
Johnson of Wisconsin.
469
00:28:52,491 --> 00:28:54,118
Whoa! This is exactly
the kind of black-and-white
470
00:28:54,201 --> 00:28:55,787
Holstein shit that
I'm talking about.
471
00:28:55,870 --> 00:28:58,080
Oh, okay. You know
what the problem is?
472
00:28:58,163 --> 00:29:00,583
We are just funda-fucking-mentally
different people,
473
00:29:00,666 --> 00:29:02,752
at a DNA level!
474
00:29:02,919 --> 00:29:05,254
What? Your father is a
financial systems analyst!
475
00:29:05,421 --> 00:29:08,048
Okay, are you fully committed
to living an authentic life,
476
00:29:08,132 --> 00:29:09,801
or are you just acting out some
477
00:29:09,926 --> 00:29:11,510
Hank-Thoreau-at-Walden-Pond
fantasy shit
478
00:29:11,636 --> 00:29:13,137
from seventh grade English?
479
00:29:13,304 --> 00:29:15,306
Why does it matter?
I can't talk to you!
480
00:29:22,980 --> 00:29:24,273
Well, that was awkward.
481
00:29:26,233 --> 00:29:27,401
What, awkward how?
482
00:29:28,653 --> 00:29:32,573
It's just tough to watch you
hit the rocks like that, man.
483
00:29:33,574 --> 00:29:36,953
No. That was
foreplay, Bloomer.
484
00:29:37,035 --> 00:29:38,579
Yeah, that's, that's
how we relate.
485
00:29:38,746 --> 00:29:40,205
It seems a little aggressive.
486
00:29:40,498 --> 00:29:43,584
Think about how baby Cal
grew up, all right?
487
00:29:43,668 --> 00:29:46,253
Everyone pretended
everything was chill.
488
00:29:46,337 --> 00:29:49,674
Dad fucked two different
women named Linda,
489
00:29:49,757 --> 00:29:54,052
Mom lived on gin and cottage
cheese from '91 to about '98
490
00:29:54,178 --> 00:29:57,849
and everyone knew and nobody
ever said anything about it.
491
00:29:57,932 --> 00:30:01,393
But with Neri, we put
everything out there, man.
492
00:30:01,519 --> 00:30:02,979
It's safe.
493
00:30:03,061 --> 00:30:06,315
You know, we scream and throw
shit and it's like, electric,
494
00:30:06,398 --> 00:30:09,401
you know what I'm saying?
It's erotic, no joke.
495
00:30:09,527 --> 00:30:11,737
I mean, you get it.
You're a Jew.
496
00:30:12,905 --> 00:30:15,366
All right,
I just got to say it, man.
497
00:30:16,074 --> 00:30:19,286
You guys have known each other
what, nine weeks, tops?
498
00:30:19,787 --> 00:30:21,413
Isn't the whole
thing a little fast?
499
00:30:21,664 --> 00:30:23,081
Oh, okay.
500
00:30:24,082 --> 00:30:25,710
Maybe it
doesn't look like what
501
00:30:25,793 --> 00:30:27,394
everyone else thinks
it should look like,
502
00:30:27,419 --> 00:30:28,921
but who cares?
503
00:30:29,714 --> 00:30:33,384
We're crazy,
but we are in this.
504
00:30:45,479 --> 00:30:47,231
They said the video
machine got unhooked.
505
00:30:47,940 --> 00:30:51,068
There's this, uh,
Guatemalan grandma
506
00:30:51,193 --> 00:30:54,989
who's been teaching herself
English watching Turner and Hooch
507
00:30:55,072 --> 00:30:59,243
about six times a day. I'm
guessing someone got tired of it.
508
00:31:01,412 --> 00:31:02,872
I came by yoga today.
509
00:31:04,289 --> 00:31:05,290
Oh.
510
00:31:06,124 --> 00:31:08,586
Well, I'm taking
a little break.
511
00:31:09,253 --> 00:31:10,796
I thought yoga
was a little break.
512
00:31:11,255 --> 00:31:12,464
It was.
513
00:31:13,424 --> 00:31:14,717
Then I hit you.
514
00:31:15,843 --> 00:31:18,012
You can only take so
much Zen, you know?
515
00:31:18,095 --> 00:31:21,473
Sometimes you
wanna feel something.
516
00:31:23,976 --> 00:31:25,686
You gotta talk
about it sometime.
517
00:31:31,483 --> 00:31:36,781
I used to grow marijuana out in
California, Humboldt County.
518
00:31:36,906 --> 00:31:38,783
One acre, nothing crazy.
519
00:31:38,908 --> 00:31:40,910
Just enough to keep me going.
520
00:31:41,452 --> 00:31:42,620
Goin', like, baked?
521
00:31:42,703 --> 00:31:44,162
Like, pay the rent.
522
00:31:44,747 --> 00:31:47,291
I mean, I smoked it
once in a while.
523
00:31:47,374 --> 00:31:52,337
But mostly I was just a
good old-fashioned drunk,
524
00:31:52,463 --> 00:31:54,590
like my parents
raised me to be.
525
00:31:55,591 --> 00:31:57,009
So the Feds shut you down.
526
00:31:57,175 --> 00:31:59,095
Actually, it was the deer.
527
00:31:59,971 --> 00:32:01,013
The who, now?
528
00:32:02,347 --> 00:32:04,558
Oh, yeah, deer love weed.
529
00:32:04,642 --> 00:32:05,684
Fucks them right up, too.
530
00:32:05,810 --> 00:32:09,271
They start jumping around
all over the place.
531
00:32:09,354 --> 00:32:11,315
Then they come back for more.
532
00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:13,651
And the kicker is,
you can't keep them out.
533
00:32:13,734 --> 00:32:18,697
I tried everything.
Soap shavings, fox pee,
534
00:32:18,823 --> 00:32:22,326
which they sell at the Home
Depot for $120 a gallon.
535
00:32:22,451 --> 00:32:24,328
Seems like you could
have just built a fence.
536
00:32:24,453 --> 00:32:28,206
No, a deer can jump an
eight-foot barb wire fence
537
00:32:28,332 --> 00:32:31,669
with a smile on its face,
like Donald O'Connor.
538
00:32:32,377 --> 00:32:33,754
Get to the meat already.
539
00:32:36,715 --> 00:32:42,013
I got a hunting rifle
and stayed up all night,
540
00:32:42,138 --> 00:32:44,807
four, five times a week.
541
00:32:44,890 --> 00:32:46,767
And finally, one night
542
00:32:46,851 --> 00:32:52,356
I see them rustling around
the edge of my property,
543
00:32:52,481 --> 00:32:55,860
where I was growing
the quality shit,
544
00:32:55,943 --> 00:32:59,237
this hybrid
plant called AK-47,
545
00:32:59,363 --> 00:33:02,366
which the fake
prescription people
546
00:33:02,491 --> 00:33:04,910
eat up like peanuts.
I was pissed.
547
00:33:05,077 --> 00:33:06,078
And drunk?
548
00:33:06,203 --> 00:33:07,872
Oh, honey, that goes
without saying.
549
00:33:08,664 --> 00:33:09,832
So what happened?
550
00:33:12,168 --> 00:33:13,502
I shot him.
551
00:33:15,796 --> 00:33:16,839
And?
552
00:33:18,298 --> 00:33:20,092
And it wasn't a deer.
553
00:33:23,137 --> 00:33:27,224
It was an eight-year-old kid
554
00:33:28,559 --> 00:33:32,604
from the farm next door who
was running away from home
555
00:33:32,730 --> 00:33:37,068
because his dad
took away his Nintendo.
556
00:33:41,072 --> 00:33:42,573
A kid.
557
00:33:44,867 --> 00:33:45,951
Shit.
558
00:33:46,410 --> 00:33:53,000
And they buried him on
their property, in a box.
559
00:33:56,628 --> 00:34:00,674
Work hours means no socializing
whatsoever, inmates.
560
00:34:00,841 --> 00:34:02,634
It was a mistake.
561
00:34:03,260 --> 00:34:04,302
Oh, no.
562
00:34:05,763 --> 00:34:07,014
We're having a moment here.
563
00:34:07,223 --> 00:34:09,934
Shit. I'm sorry.
Carry on.
564
00:34:17,441 --> 00:34:18,901
I don't even
know what Kwanzaa is.
565
00:34:18,984 --> 00:34:20,027
I mean, except
that you're supposed
566
00:34:20,111 --> 00:34:22,113
to wear dashikis and
eat corn and stuff.
567
00:34:22,238 --> 00:34:24,073
Nobody
knows what it is, girl.
568
00:34:24,156 --> 00:34:25,783
But they're taking
Fed money up in here,
569
00:34:25,908 --> 00:34:28,786
so they gotta give all the
traditions equal time.
570
00:34:28,911 --> 00:34:30,204
Hey, you know what?
571
00:34:30,287 --> 00:34:32,790
I think I'm gonna be needin' a
traditional week off from work.
572
00:34:32,873 --> 00:34:35,584
Hey! To honor my African
roots, you feel me?
573
00:34:35,709 --> 00:34:38,879
Uh, huh. Joyous Kwanzaa,
my Nubian sister.
574
00:34:40,965 --> 00:34:44,176
May the Kwanzaa
Elf smile upon ya!
575
00:34:46,595 --> 00:34:47,805
And pull it through the loop.
576
00:34:47,888 --> 00:34:50,099
And you got
a single crochet stitch.
577
00:34:50,182 --> 00:34:51,308
Ah, ha, ha, ha!
Look at that!
578
00:34:51,433 --> 00:34:52,977
Ninety-five thousand
more of those
579
00:34:53,102 --> 00:34:54,895
and you'll have a lovely throw.
580
00:34:55,104 --> 00:34:57,982
Hey, college,
I got words for you.
581
00:35:09,451 --> 00:35:11,954
All right, I'm just gonna give
it to you straight, college,
582
00:35:12,037 --> 00:35:16,333
I've been harboring some really
bad hate in my heart for you.
583
00:35:17,584 --> 00:35:19,170
But I saved you. I got
you out of Psych.
584
00:35:19,336 --> 00:35:21,755
You saved me from some
shit you got me into.
585
00:35:22,840 --> 00:35:24,382
Don't be surprised
if there's not
586
00:35:24,508 --> 00:35:26,177
a national holiday
declared in your name.
587
00:35:26,302 --> 00:35:28,053
You got me
thrown into the SHU...
588
00:35:28,179 --> 00:35:29,596
Who's talkin' right now?
589
00:35:33,184 --> 00:35:35,477
Do you realize that
you almost ruined my life?
590
00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:37,395
I mean, do you?
591
00:35:37,521 --> 00:35:40,191
You made the Almighty God
into a joke,
592
00:35:40,274 --> 00:35:42,484
and a joke ain't nothing to me.
593
00:35:42,651 --> 00:35:45,988
A joke didn't write
me letters up in here,
594
00:35:46,071 --> 00:35:50,659
and a joke didn't give me hope
so I could do my time
595
00:35:50,742 --> 00:35:52,995
and make something out of it.
596
00:35:55,039 --> 00:35:56,790
What do you believe in?
597
00:36:00,544 --> 00:36:03,463
Well, I've always thought that
agnostic was sort of a cop-out.
598
00:36:03,547 --> 00:36:05,716
But you know,
if I had to label it,
599
00:36:05,799 --> 00:36:07,509
I'd say that I'm
a secular humanist.
600
00:36:07,592 --> 00:36:08,677
Which is not to say
I'm not spiritual...
601
00:36:08,760 --> 00:36:10,971
You're not religious, okay?
Just stop.
602
00:36:12,348 --> 00:36:13,598
Stop.
603
00:36:14,432 --> 00:36:16,143
You believe in Hussein Obama?
604
00:36:17,061 --> 00:36:19,355
Electric cars and
Shakespeare books
605
00:36:19,437 --> 00:36:21,565
and do you go out to
eat at restaurants?
606
00:36:23,734 --> 00:36:27,154
I don't have any of that, okay?
All I have is him.
607
00:36:27,821 --> 00:36:28,989
I'm sorry.
608
00:36:29,073 --> 00:36:32,201
Don't ask for my forgiveness. You
should ask for His forgiveness.
609
00:36:32,284 --> 00:36:34,245
You need to get right with him,
610
00:36:34,328 --> 00:36:37,789
and then we'll see that all
this was part of His plan.
611
00:36:38,123 --> 00:36:39,833
And then, we don't
have to fight anymore.
612
00:36:39,917 --> 00:36:41,919
I wasn't planning on fighting with you.
Well, then, just do it.
613
00:36:42,044 --> 00:36:43,087
Right now? Yeah, right
here, right now.
614
00:36:43,212 --> 00:36:44,255
Got somewhere to be?
615
00:36:50,886 --> 00:36:51,929
Dear Jesus...
616
00:36:52,054 --> 00:36:53,638
That's awfully
familiar for somebody
617
00:36:53,764 --> 00:36:55,640
that doesn't give
him the time of day.
618
00:36:55,933 --> 00:36:56,934
Um...
619
00:36:57,851 --> 00:37:01,063
Dear Mr. Christ?
620
00:37:05,567 --> 00:37:07,194
Dear Mr. Christ,
621
00:37:08,112 --> 00:37:12,991
I know that I've done
some things recently
622
00:37:13,158 --> 00:37:17,955
that have not been, have
been up to your standards.
623
00:37:18,956 --> 00:37:22,167
And I feel pretty ashamed.
624
00:37:25,629 --> 00:37:27,714
It's really easy
to point fingers.
625
00:37:29,007 --> 00:37:32,886
And I've done some things lately
I feel pretty lousy about.
626
00:37:35,180 --> 00:37:38,058
And I'm wondering if maybe you could
make things right between us?
627
00:37:38,142 --> 00:37:39,476
Meaning forgiveness?
628
00:37:41,853 --> 00:37:45,316
If I could be forgiven,
that would be really...
629
00:37:46,524 --> 00:37:47,525
Um...
630
00:37:49,653 --> 00:37:51,822
That would be
really comforting.
631
00:37:52,948 --> 00:37:54,199
Amen.
632
00:37:58,829 --> 00:37:59,913
How was that?
633
00:38:00,705 --> 00:38:03,625
I think you took a step
on the right road.
634
00:38:04,584 --> 00:38:05,627
Okay.
635
00:38:10,715 --> 00:38:12,384
Now we just gotta
get you baptized.
636
00:38:15,762 --> 00:38:19,391
I would've looped in the Blessed
Virgin to cover my bases.
637
00:38:19,516 --> 00:38:20,558
But that's me.
638
00:38:25,981 --> 00:38:27,274
Let's try again.
639
00:38:31,528 --> 00:38:32,988
Thanks for coming.
640
00:38:33,530 --> 00:38:34,823
What do you want?
641
00:38:35,282 --> 00:38:38,535
Wow, way to harsh on a dude
when he's down, bro, fuck!
642
00:38:38,702 --> 00:38:41,663
You put your dick in Diaz!
643
00:38:41,746 --> 00:38:45,542
It's not what it sounds like, man.
She wanted me to do it.
644
00:38:47,919 --> 00:38:52,549
Hey, Benny, I think
we're in love.
645
00:38:54,885 --> 00:38:56,887
You poor fucker.
646
00:38:56,970 --> 00:38:58,430
Yep.
647
00:38:59,181 --> 00:39:03,394
That's okay. I mean,
if we have to spend
648
00:39:03,477 --> 00:39:05,396
a little bit of time apart,
I can handle that.
649
00:39:07,898 --> 00:39:09,900
I gotta get her a message.
650
00:39:12,152 --> 00:39:13,278
Will you take it?
651
00:39:13,404 --> 00:39:15,864
I could get in
deep shit for that.
652
00:39:15,947 --> 00:39:19,034
Plus, it's not good for you, man.
It's not healthy.
653
00:39:19,910 --> 00:39:22,287
You need a girl who you
can actually be with.
654
00:39:24,248 --> 00:39:25,749
I'm gonna help you out, Benny.
655
00:39:26,875 --> 00:39:28,043
Perfect.
656
00:39:28,126 --> 00:39:30,670
We've got a shipment
coming in tomorrow
657
00:39:30,754 --> 00:39:34,091
from this vendor
called Neptune's Produce.
658
00:39:34,508 --> 00:39:37,635
Stop the truck, get into
it before they unload it.
659
00:39:37,761 --> 00:39:39,637
Look for a box with a
check mark on the side.
660
00:39:39,763 --> 00:39:41,265
Look, I don't wanna be
involved in anything weird.
661
00:39:41,348 --> 00:39:42,433
It's not weird, it's drugs.
662
00:39:45,310 --> 00:39:48,772
Sputnik in the kitchen
is dealing to the inmates,
663
00:39:48,855 --> 00:39:51,024
turning them into addicts.
It's wrong.
664
00:39:52,150 --> 00:39:56,654
You get that box, bring it to
Caputo, he's gonna be grateful.
665
00:39:56,780 --> 00:40:00,492
Butter him up, he'll probably give
you a raise right on the spot.
666
00:40:00,617 --> 00:40:04,246
We could all use a little
extra cash, am I right?
667
00:40:07,832 --> 00:40:11,920
I was gonna be the hero, but I'm
gonna give you my win, man.
668
00:40:13,505 --> 00:40:15,006
It's your win now.
669
00:40:15,966 --> 00:40:17,008
Why?
670
00:40:19,219 --> 00:40:20,471
Satisfaction.
671
00:40:25,309 --> 00:40:26,935
And this.
672
00:40:30,147 --> 00:40:31,898
I'm not saying yes.
673
00:40:34,485 --> 00:40:37,737
But you will, because
you're my brother.
674
00:40:52,752 --> 00:40:53,920
Fuck.
675
00:40:55,880 --> 00:40:57,382
You were right.
676
00:40:59,134 --> 00:41:00,594
About Larry, you were right.
677
00:41:03,930 --> 00:41:06,475
I think that I've lost him.
Can I?
678
00:41:13,940 --> 00:41:16,485
So all of my cards
are on the table.
679
00:41:18,529 --> 00:41:19,863
Everything.
680
00:41:20,822 --> 00:41:23,158
I'm an emotionally
manipulative narcissist
681
00:41:23,241 --> 00:41:25,827
who bailed on you
when your mother died.
682
00:41:27,704 --> 00:41:31,333
And I'm a ruthless pragmatist who
sold you out and then lied about it.
683
00:41:34,545 --> 00:41:35,962
We suck.
684
00:41:37,506 --> 00:41:39,067
It's kind of a relief,
though, isn't it?
685
00:41:40,384 --> 00:41:43,053
Oh, my God, Piper!
I'm getting whiplash here.
686
00:41:43,387 --> 00:41:45,222
I'm not fucking with you.
687
00:41:46,931 --> 00:41:51,061
I've ruined my life now,
twice, over you.
688
00:41:53,063 --> 00:41:56,316
So, what's the end game here?
689
00:41:56,400 --> 00:41:58,902
When we get out of
prison what's the plan?
690
00:42:00,070 --> 00:42:03,114
Are we gonna move to Vermont and open
a pottery studio and wear Tevas?
691
00:42:03,281 --> 00:42:04,921
That sounds
more like Santa Fe.
692
00:42:04,991 --> 00:42:07,744
I'm being serious.
Are you gonna get a job?
693
00:42:07,827 --> 00:42:08,828
Hmm...
694
00:42:08,912 --> 00:42:10,622
Like a regular person?
695
00:42:10,747 --> 00:42:13,208
I mean, I can't even imagine
what that would look like.
696
00:42:13,375 --> 00:42:14,751
Me neither.
697
00:42:16,378 --> 00:42:19,297
I'm good at moving
large amounts of heroin.
698
00:42:19,756 --> 00:42:22,426
Like, really fucking
brilliant at it.
699
00:42:23,301 --> 00:42:25,220
Other than that, I don't know.
700
00:42:26,513 --> 00:42:27,753
One thing that I
do know is that
701
00:42:27,805 --> 00:42:30,392
I am never, ever
coming back to prison.
702
00:42:31,309 --> 00:42:35,146
Listen, I am not planning on going
back to doing illegal shit.
703
00:42:35,272 --> 00:42:37,524
I'm not planning anything.
704
00:42:37,608 --> 00:42:40,652
I don't know
what's gonna happen,
705
00:42:40,777 --> 00:42:42,404
and that's the point
of being with me.
706
00:42:43,113 --> 00:42:45,823
If you wanna have babies
and remodel your bathroom,
707
00:42:45,949 --> 00:42:49,327
then, please go.
Do. Nest.
708
00:42:51,622 --> 00:42:53,790
If you wanna do X on
a beach in Cambodia
709
00:42:53,915 --> 00:42:56,042
with three strangers in drag...
710
00:42:57,961 --> 00:43:03,383
I'm not saying it's gonna
happen, but it could.
711
00:43:08,513 --> 00:43:09,973
I love Cambodia.
712
00:43:11,391 --> 00:43:12,809
Me too.
713
00:43:21,485 --> 00:43:24,362
Chapman, you blinked.
Vause wins.
714
00:43:24,488 --> 00:43:25,947
Yo, you seen her yet?
715
00:43:26,030 --> 00:43:27,073
Who?
716
00:43:27,449 --> 00:43:30,160
Princess Stephanie of Monaco.
Your roommate.
717
00:43:31,244 --> 00:43:33,830
Lorna drove her back up,
you haven't heard?
718
00:43:33,913 --> 00:43:37,751
Her appeal went kaput. Better sleep
with both eyes open tonight.
719
00:43:40,044 --> 00:43:41,505
Oh, shit.
720
00:43:48,428 --> 00:43:51,889
Inmate, where's your badge?
Inmate, I'm talking to you.
721
00:43:52,015 --> 00:43:55,477
That nail polish is non-regulation, too.
Where did you get that?
722
00:43:55,560 --> 00:43:58,730
I said, where did you get that?
723
00:44:06,571 --> 00:44:07,947
Take your hands
off her, Pelage.
724
00:44:11,785 --> 00:44:13,119
You're headed to Max, inmate.
725
00:44:14,204 --> 00:44:15,205
Doesn't matter.
726
00:44:19,292 --> 00:44:20,836
Get up. Get up!
727
00:44:23,213 --> 00:44:24,255
Come on, you.
728
00:44:33,890 --> 00:44:34,891
What we lookin' at?
729
00:44:35,058 --> 00:44:36,226
Taystee?
730
00:44:48,363 --> 00:44:50,990
You ain't got to
be alone no more.
731
00:44:52,826 --> 00:44:53,909
What is this?
732
00:44:54,035 --> 00:44:56,538
This is me never having
to make mac and cheese
733
00:44:56,621 --> 00:44:58,373
in the common room
microwave again.
734
00:44:58,456 --> 00:44:59,896
It smells like
a salmon farted in it.
735
00:45:00,041 --> 00:45:01,961
You don't know when Miss
Claudette is coming back.
736
00:45:02,001 --> 00:45:05,963
You put your hand on a guard, you
go to Max, you don't come back.
737
00:45:06,089 --> 00:45:07,716
Everybody know that.
738
00:45:08,091 --> 00:45:11,469
We goin' to my bunk, where
Book of Eli never happened.
739
00:45:14,681 --> 00:45:15,849
Hey!
740
00:45:17,141 --> 00:45:18,351
Hey, I get the blanket.
741
00:45:18,518 --> 00:45:20,103
Well, look at you, Miss Thing.
742
00:45:22,105 --> 00:45:27,110
I was her roommate. I took her
shit and I listened to her snore.
743
00:45:28,111 --> 00:45:30,447
The blanket is mine.
744
00:45:31,114 --> 00:45:32,198
I've got three of them.
745
00:45:32,908 --> 00:45:35,702
Kill, Little Boo, kill!
746
00:45:38,872 --> 00:45:40,665
We're working on it.
747
00:45:42,751 --> 00:45:44,085
Good girl.
748
00:46:13,907 --> 00:46:15,074
You wanna talk about it?
749
00:46:15,991 --> 00:46:17,201
Not really.
750
00:46:18,202 --> 00:46:19,563
I have to give
you a titty-twister,
751
00:46:19,579 --> 00:46:21,059
you'll be feelin'
that shit next week.
752
00:46:22,666 --> 00:46:24,668
What they don't tell
you when you get out?
753
00:46:24,793 --> 00:46:26,962
They gonna be up
your ass like the KGB.
754
00:46:27,044 --> 00:46:30,423
Curfew every night, piss in
a cup whenever they say,
755
00:46:30,507 --> 00:46:34,177
you gotta do three job interviews in
a week for jobs you never gonna get.
756
00:46:34,719 --> 00:46:37,514
Probation officer callin'
every minute, checkin' up.
757
00:46:37,973 --> 00:46:40,266
Man, at least in jail
you get dinner.
758
00:46:43,478 --> 00:46:44,855
Ow, man!
What the fuck?
759
00:46:44,938 --> 00:46:46,698
Man, where do you
think you at, Paris Hilton?
760
00:46:47,732 --> 00:46:50,025
Yo, it's bitches in
here doing 15 years
761
00:46:50,109 --> 00:46:52,149
for lettin' their boyfriends
do deals in the kitchen
762
00:46:52,195 --> 00:46:55,281
'cause they was afraid of
getting beat if they said no.
763
00:46:55,365 --> 00:46:57,845
And there's bitches ain't seen
their kids since they was babies,
764
00:46:57,868 --> 00:46:59,870
and them kids got
they own babies now,
765
00:46:59,995 --> 00:47:02,315
or they're runnin' around the
street carryin' guns and shit,
766
00:47:02,372 --> 00:47:04,415
no one watching over 'em.
767
00:47:04,624 --> 00:47:09,504
Yo, I been in here two years
and I got four more.
768
00:47:10,380 --> 00:47:12,883
Eight months ago when
I was waxin' fuckin'
769
00:47:12,966 --> 00:47:16,135
floors in the cafeteria,
my moms passed.
770
00:47:17,679 --> 00:47:19,430
And I wasn't there to say
the shit you supposed to say
771
00:47:19,556 --> 00:47:21,056
to your mom before she gone.
772
00:47:21,391 --> 00:47:24,019
So I know you ain't tellin'
me in my face right now
773
00:47:24,101 --> 00:47:25,645
that you walked
back in this place
774
00:47:25,729 --> 00:47:28,063
'cause freedom was
inconvenient for you?
775
00:47:28,189 --> 00:47:31,735
It ain't like that, P. Minimum
wage is some kinda joke.
776
00:47:31,860 --> 00:47:33,570
I got part-time
workin' at Pizza Hut,
777
00:47:33,653 --> 00:47:36,740
and I still owe the prison
$900 in fees I gotta pay back.
778
00:47:37,574 --> 00:47:39,743
I ain't got no place to stay.
779
00:47:40,075 --> 00:47:44,622
I was sleepin' on the floor in my
second cousin apartment like a dog,
780
00:47:45,080 --> 00:47:48,001
and she still got six
people in two rooms.
781
00:47:48,083 --> 00:47:51,755
One of the bitches stole my check.
I got lice.
782
00:47:51,880 --> 00:47:56,091
Everyone I know is poor,
in jail, or gone.
783
00:47:57,510 --> 00:48:00,304
Don't nobody ask
about how my day went.
784
00:48:00,430 --> 00:48:03,098
Man, I got fucked up
in the head, you know?
785
00:48:05,936 --> 00:48:07,896
I know how to play it here.
786
00:48:07,979 --> 00:48:11,441
Where to be, and what
rules to follow.
787
00:48:13,317 --> 00:48:14,861
I got a bed.
788
00:48:16,279 --> 00:48:18,155
And I got you.
789
00:48:19,824 --> 00:48:21,034
I really missed you.
790
00:48:26,121 --> 00:48:28,374
I didn't mean to let you down.
791
00:48:36,800 --> 00:48:40,386
So what did you do to land
yourself back in here?
792
00:48:40,804 --> 00:48:46,350
Well, first, I got a can
of Rockstar and 100 paper clips.
793
00:48:51,314 --> 00:48:53,775
I found it in the shed
behind Electrical.
794
00:48:54,609 --> 00:48:57,487
If they see us with that, we
both go straight to the SHU.
795
00:48:57,904 --> 00:48:59,906
So don't let them see us.
796
00:49:01,116 --> 00:49:03,158
What kind of voltage are
we talking about here?
797
00:49:03,576 --> 00:49:06,454
No idea. That's what
makes it exciting.
798
00:49:07,872 --> 00:49:10,416
You don't wanna
do it, that's cool.
799
00:49:10,541 --> 00:49:13,128
We just go back to our
regular, prison lives.
800
00:49:13,878 --> 00:49:17,007
Work, sleep, count.
801
00:49:29,519 --> 00:49:32,438
Shit. Oh, my God!
Wait, come on, Jones.
802
00:49:39,112 --> 00:49:44,742
Oh, man! I didn't think it was like that.
Shit. I'm sorry.
803
00:49:46,452 --> 00:49:48,245
No, it's cool.
804
00:49:49,539 --> 00:49:53,584
I feel good.
I feel better.
805
00:49:56,129 --> 00:49:57,380
You're serious?
806
00:49:58,715 --> 00:50:00,050
I kind of needed that.
807
00:50:04,888 --> 00:50:07,140
Here, you gonna go?
808
00:50:11,811 --> 00:50:15,857
You ready to get dunked? I got
towels so don't worry about that.
809
00:50:16,315 --> 00:50:20,778
Oh, God, the baptism thing.
You were serious.
810
00:50:21,112 --> 00:50:24,115
What about me makes you think
I wouldn't be serious?
811
00:50:24,615 --> 00:50:26,576
Good point. Uh...
812
00:50:26,868 --> 00:50:28,912
I have visitation today.
It's Larry's day.
813
00:50:29,037 --> 00:50:31,539
Or was. We haven't talked but I'm
really hoping he'll be there.
814
00:50:31,622 --> 00:50:34,417
So just go after.
This takes a few minutes.
815
00:50:34,500 --> 00:50:37,378
And that's not a lot of time to get
your ticket to the Kingdom of Heaven,
816
00:50:37,461 --> 00:50:41,549
which is forever
and ever, amen.
817
00:50:44,802 --> 00:50:46,554
Wow.
818
00:50:46,637 --> 00:50:50,433
That was a sign. I think
he's back on my side.
819
00:50:52,351 --> 00:50:54,062
How did you sleep, Tiffany?
820
00:50:54,145 --> 00:50:55,270
Who's askin'?
821
00:50:55,396 --> 00:50:56,647
I'm your lawyer.
822
00:50:56,773 --> 00:50:59,373
You ain't my lawyer. My lawyer is
fat and his name is Wesley Weeks.
823
00:50:59,400 --> 00:51:01,402
Wesley Weeks is a
C-minus public defender
824
00:51:01,485 --> 00:51:03,780
who will plead you out without
even looking at your file.
825
00:51:03,863 --> 00:51:06,490
I think you'll find that the Christian
firm of Turro, Payne and Whorton
826
00:51:06,616 --> 00:51:08,096
will serve your
interests much better.
827
00:51:09,953 --> 00:51:11,193
You're gonna get
me out of jail?
828
00:51:11,204 --> 00:51:13,456
Well, if you shoot somebody in
broad daylight, with witnesses,
829
00:51:13,581 --> 00:51:15,166
you're gonna do some
time, that's a fact.
830
00:51:15,290 --> 00:51:18,461
But, I will see
that you do less time.
831
00:51:18,920 --> 00:51:20,463
Couple of
procedural challenges,
832
00:51:20,546 --> 00:51:21,965
plus we're gonna
argue that you did
833
00:51:22,048 --> 00:51:23,800
what you did based on
the moral conviction
834
00:51:23,925 --> 00:51:25,718
that you were saving lives.
835
00:51:25,802 --> 00:51:29,139
Defenseless, innocent lives.
I didn't...
836
00:51:30,598 --> 00:51:32,267
I can't afford a fancy lawyer.
837
00:51:32,433 --> 00:51:34,060
My fees have
already been settled.
838
00:51:34,144 --> 00:51:36,646
And there's a small monthly
stipend going to your family,
839
00:51:36,771 --> 00:51:38,691
to help them while their
daughter serves her time.
840
00:51:40,108 --> 00:51:41,316
How's this being paid for?
841
00:51:42,193 --> 00:51:43,945
By the grace of God.
842
00:51:44,695 --> 00:51:47,657
And also, all your friends.
843
00:51:49,366 --> 00:51:50,493
Good God!
844
00:51:56,291 --> 00:51:58,960
Order in the court. I want
order in this courtroom!
845
00:52:01,045 --> 00:52:02,672
All of you, sit down!
846
00:52:14,184 --> 00:52:16,351
Look, I understand that
this is important to you,
847
00:52:16,477 --> 00:52:18,188
but I don't think...
College?
848
00:52:19,856 --> 00:52:21,232
Don't let me down.
849
00:52:23,358 --> 00:52:25,987
Okay, fine.
Fine, I have 10 minutes.
850
00:52:26,696 --> 00:52:27,738
Perfect.
851
00:52:28,572 --> 00:52:29,615
Running...
852
00:52:30,533 --> 00:52:33,328
I really fucking
needed this, Bennett.
853
00:52:33,452 --> 00:52:34,537
Just doing my job, sir.
854
00:52:34,662 --> 00:52:36,873
This is the kind of
thing I remember when
855
00:52:36,998 --> 00:52:39,334
it's time to move
somebody up the ladder.
856
00:52:39,416 --> 00:52:44,005
That kitchen Commie cunt
is finally going down.
857
00:52:46,174 --> 00:52:47,424
Oh, man!
858
00:52:48,801 --> 00:52:49,844
Beautiful!
859
00:52:53,973 --> 00:52:55,558
I have a whole life
in front of me.
860
00:52:55,725 --> 00:52:59,687
I don't want to spend it
watching "Storage Wars"
861
00:53:00,355 --> 00:53:02,857
She's bored. You should
take her out more.
862
00:53:03,024 --> 00:53:05,026
Well, maybe I would take her out more
if she didn't flirt with other men.
863
00:53:06,194 --> 00:53:08,071
Have you been
acting like a slut?
864
00:53:08,779 --> 00:53:10,323
I have a body!
865
00:53:10,447 --> 00:53:12,950
I can't help it if people look.
866
00:53:13,159 --> 00:53:15,745
She says it's not her fault
if other people look at her.
867
00:53:15,870 --> 00:53:17,205
Maybe you're too jealous.
868
00:53:17,621 --> 00:53:19,665
All I want is a nice quiet
life, is that so much to ask?
869
00:53:20,875 --> 00:53:22,835
He wants peace and quiet.
870
00:53:24,545 --> 00:53:27,298
He's got a
government job, dummy.
871
00:53:27,548 --> 00:53:29,133
It could be much worse.
872
00:53:32,929 --> 00:53:35,765
His toenails scratch me in bed.
873
00:53:37,100 --> 00:53:38,935
Okay, you have to
get a pedicure.
874
00:53:39,060 --> 00:53:41,020
The long toenails are a problem.
875
00:53:42,939 --> 00:53:44,065
Caputo wants to see you.
876
00:53:44,357 --> 00:53:46,776
I'm busy. I'd go
now if I were you.
877
00:53:50,863 --> 00:53:52,907
That little bitch Mendez.
878
00:53:54,784 --> 00:53:56,827
Couldn't go down like a man.
879
00:53:56,994 --> 00:53:58,495
I'm confused here.
880
00:54:01,540 --> 00:54:04,835
If it goes bad,
take care of my girls.
881
00:54:06,712 --> 00:54:08,463
Bennett, explain
this immediately.
882
00:54:10,800 --> 00:54:11,840
Bennett!
883
00:54:11,926 --> 00:54:14,762
I need to talk about
grocery money.
884
00:54:18,308 --> 00:54:19,434
Behold!
885
00:54:19,558 --> 00:54:23,271
I bring the lost
sheep back to the 99.
886
00:54:23,646 --> 00:54:26,732
All right, as you know, we don't
have a river to dunk you in,
887
00:54:26,816 --> 00:54:28,609
but we cleaned
out the muck sink.
888
00:54:28,692 --> 00:54:31,028
And yeah, you might just
wanna take off your shirt.
889
00:54:31,195 --> 00:54:33,406
Okay! Nope, see,
I can't do this.
890
00:54:33,488 --> 00:54:34,740
I'm sorry.
891
00:54:34,824 --> 00:54:36,742
I really want us to get
along, I do, but I can't
892
00:54:36,826 --> 00:54:38,202
pretend to believe
in something I don't.
893
00:54:38,328 --> 00:54:39,954
And I don't.
894
00:54:40,121 --> 00:54:42,248
Chapman, we've all
had our doubts.
895
00:54:42,415 --> 00:54:44,499
No, see, this isn't doubts.
896
00:54:45,126 --> 00:54:49,005
I believe in science,
I believe in evolution.
897
00:54:49,172 --> 00:54:50,298
I believe in Nate Silver
898
00:54:50,381 --> 00:54:52,342
and Neil deGrasse Tyson
and Christopher Hitchens,
899
00:54:52,425 --> 00:54:54,509
although I do admit, he could
be kind of an asshole.
900
00:54:55,970 --> 00:54:57,554
I cannot get behind
some supreme being
901
00:54:57,680 --> 00:54:59,056
who weighs in on
the Tony Awards
902
00:54:59,182 --> 00:55:01,062
while a million people
get wacked with machetes.
903
00:55:01,142 --> 00:55:03,144
I don't believe a billion
Indians are going to hell,
904
00:55:03,227 --> 00:55:05,520
I don't think we get cancer
to learn life lessons,
905
00:55:05,646 --> 00:55:07,247
and I don't believe
that people die young
906
00:55:07,273 --> 00:55:08,691
because God
needs another angel.
907
00:55:08,816 --> 00:55:11,652
I think it's just bullshit, and on
some level, I think we all know that.
908
00:55:11,735 --> 00:55:13,029
I mean, don't you?
909
00:55:14,238 --> 00:55:16,657
The angel thing does
seem kind of desperate.
910
00:55:17,408 --> 00:55:18,568
I thought you was a Christian.
911
00:55:19,702 --> 00:55:22,705
I am, but I got some questions.
912
00:55:25,666 --> 00:55:28,752
Look, I understand
that religion makes it easier
913
00:55:28,878 --> 00:55:32,547
to deal with all of the random
shitty things that happen to us.
914
00:55:33,799 --> 00:55:37,845
And I wish I could get on that
ride, I'm sure I would be happier.
915
00:55:40,306 --> 00:55:41,391
But I can't.
916
00:55:42,683 --> 00:55:46,396
Feelings aren't enough.
I need it to be real.
917
00:55:47,146 --> 00:55:48,523
I gotta go.
918
00:55:48,772 --> 00:55:50,607
I tried to be your friend.
919
00:55:51,650 --> 00:55:53,944
I hope he makes you very happy.
920
00:55:55,779 --> 00:55:57,073
Excuse me.
921
00:55:59,492 --> 00:56:00,575
Hello?
922
00:56:00,701 --> 00:56:02,203
I'm looking for
Natalie Figueroa.
923
00:56:02,286 --> 00:56:03,413
You found her.
924
00:56:03,538 --> 00:56:04,914
Ms. Figueroa,
this is Andrew Nance
925
00:56:04,997 --> 00:56:07,250
calling from The City Post,
online edition.
926
00:56:07,375 --> 00:56:10,585
I recently caught a public radio
interview with Larry Bloom.
927
00:56:10,669 --> 00:56:14,090
He's engaged to a Litchfield
inmate named Piper Chapman?
928
00:56:14,257 --> 00:56:16,342
I'm sorry, I've never
heard of this person.
929
00:56:16,426 --> 00:56:18,094
Oh. Well in his interview,
930
00:56:18,177 --> 00:56:20,471
Mr. Bloom mentioned some cutbacks
at Litchfield this year.
931
00:56:20,595 --> 00:56:23,474
The closing of the track, for instance,
the GED program shutting down,
932
00:56:23,598 --> 00:56:26,102
medications switched to generics,
those kinds of things.
933
00:56:26,227 --> 00:56:28,948
All of which seem to have been
attributed to budgetary considerations?
934
00:56:29,063 --> 00:56:31,441
Well, we do the best
with what we've got,
935
00:56:31,566 --> 00:56:33,859
but there's always a bottom
line to consider, obviously.
936
00:56:34,026 --> 00:56:35,819
I understand that, obviously.
937
00:56:35,945 --> 00:56:38,781
But, I did some digging into the
budget allocation for New York
938
00:56:38,906 --> 00:56:41,117
and as it turns out, Litchfield
actually got an increase
939
00:56:41,200 --> 00:56:44,661
over the last five
years of $2.3 million.
940
00:56:46,122 --> 00:56:49,250
So, what I'm wondering is,
where did all that money go?
941
00:56:51,835 --> 00:56:53,628
I'll have to look into that.
942
00:56:53,837 --> 00:56:55,237
As I understand it,
you're in charge
943
00:56:55,298 --> 00:56:56,631
of day-to-day
operations at the prison...
944
00:56:56,757 --> 00:56:58,717
I said I'd look into it.
945
00:57:11,814 --> 00:57:13,648
I'm really glad
that you're here.
946
00:57:18,821 --> 00:57:21,031
Listen, neither of us understood
how crazy this was gonna be.
947
00:57:21,157 --> 00:57:23,075
We thought, "Sure,
we'll get married after."
948
00:57:23,159 --> 00:57:25,119
Like, we were just gonna
pick up where we left off.
949
00:57:27,330 --> 00:57:31,750
But, Piper, this, this is
changing you, it's changing me.
950
00:57:34,044 --> 00:57:35,463
You didn't ask for any of this.
951
00:57:35,712 --> 00:57:38,633
No. But we're here.
952
00:57:40,843 --> 00:57:42,970
It's messy and weird
953
00:57:44,054 --> 00:57:48,058
and we're gonna do stupid and
lonely and embarrassing shit.
954
00:57:48,184 --> 00:57:51,354
And either we
can do it together,
955
00:57:51,437 --> 00:57:53,856
get married, now,
in this room, possibly,
956
00:57:53,939 --> 00:57:55,379
as soon as we can
file the paperwork,
957
00:57:55,399 --> 00:57:58,735
and do it as
husband and wife or...
958
00:58:05,535 --> 00:58:06,619
Or we have to break up.
959
00:58:06,702 --> 00:58:09,205
Because this thing that we're
doing now, this in-between?
960
00:58:10,998 --> 00:58:12,041
I can't.
961
00:58:15,252 --> 00:58:16,462
So,
962
00:58:20,049 --> 00:58:21,800
what do you say?
963
00:58:26,763 --> 00:58:28,558
You know what I got to do.
964
00:58:28,641 --> 00:58:30,100
Hmm? Hmm?
965
00:58:30,226 --> 00:58:31,686
She disrespected me.
966
00:58:31,935 --> 00:58:33,854
Mmm-hmm.
Mmm-hmm.
967
00:58:34,480 --> 00:58:35,898
Now,
968
00:58:36,940 --> 00:58:39,235
I'm gonna have to kill her.
969
00:58:39,735 --> 00:58:50,282
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com