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Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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00:02:08,394 --> 00:02:09,520
Did you get in trouble, too?
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00:02:12,816 --> 00:02:16,861
Sometimes the feelings inside
me get messy like dirt.
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00:02:17,112 --> 00:02:18,613
And I like to clean things.
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00:02:18,696 --> 00:02:20,907
Pretend the dirt
is the feelings.
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00:02:21,866 --> 00:02:23,785
This floor is my mind.
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00:02:24,410 --> 00:02:27,455
That is called coping.
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And the COs don't care
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00:02:30,583 --> 00:02:32,293
'cause they like things clean.
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And that is called symbiosis.
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Suzanne, listen.
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00:02:41,886 --> 00:02:45,348
Those things that
Larry said on the radio?
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They sounded a lot worse
than they really were.
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And when I said those things to
him, it was before I knew you.
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00:02:53,272 --> 00:02:55,692
Before I knew what
a nice person you are.
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And you have to admit that
you come on a little strong.
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00:03:00,697 --> 00:03:04,199
It's okay, dandelion.
You know why?
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I used to spend
a lot of time thinking
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00:03:06,828 --> 00:03:08,371
how I could make you love me.
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00:03:08,496 --> 00:03:11,082
Like, if I had
long pretty hair,
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or if I made a chocolate
cake with frosting,
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00:03:13,835 --> 00:03:15,962
or if I had a green bicycle.
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No! You are great
the way that you are.
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I know.
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00:03:21,759 --> 00:03:25,388
Because the answer is,
you're not a nice person.
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00:03:28,975 --> 00:03:30,768
You're a mean person.
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00:03:31,144 --> 00:03:35,190
And I used to think you
was a yellow dandelion
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00:03:36,482 --> 00:03:39,360
but you're all dried up
with the puff blown off.
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And it's not your fault.
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00:03:41,362 --> 00:03:45,366
You are who you are,
like, I am who I am.
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00:03:46,743 --> 00:03:47,744
I'm not mean.
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00:03:50,663 --> 00:03:53,041
I didn't mean
to be mean to you.
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00:03:54,876 --> 00:03:57,170
You gotta start
from the inside out
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00:03:57,253 --> 00:03:59,255
or else you'll
step on the clean.
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00:04:16,606 --> 00:04:17,732
Hey.
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00:04:18,399 --> 00:04:20,276
Look at you,
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waking up for crack
of dawn I-told-you-so.
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00:04:22,987 --> 00:04:24,280
That's dedication.
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00:04:24,948 --> 00:04:26,449
I have to pee.
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But as long as I'm here,
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00:04:28,284 --> 00:04:31,287
how's that, uh, spontaneous
confession treating you?
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00:04:31,454 --> 00:04:33,957
Shittier than I thought,
which is impressive,
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considering I'm literally
scrubbing toilets.
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You're sucking all of the
joy out of my gloat.
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You gonna tell me what
happened with the fiance?
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Oh, you know,
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I accused him of feeding
on my misfortune
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with the sensitivity
of a vampire squid,
49
00:04:49,722 --> 00:04:52,809
and then he accused
me of betraying him
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in a disgusting, yet totally
predictable manner.
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So, we're in a good place.
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I'm sorry, Pipes.
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And that was before
he told me that his father,
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00:05:05,113 --> 00:05:08,324
AKA my lawyer,
looked at the records
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00:05:08,741 --> 00:05:15,039
and found out that it was you
who ratted me out to the Feds.
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Fuck.
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00:05:23,714 --> 00:05:26,342
Don't worry about it. I
mean, fool me once, right?
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Okay, listen...
Alex.
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I'm over it. Really.
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It's fine.
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You got mine?
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Caputo's special!
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00:06:00,668 --> 00:06:03,108
You know, you're not supposed to
take food out of here, Sister.
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00:06:03,171 --> 00:06:05,215
Maybe we
can bend that rule a bit.
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00:06:05,298 --> 00:06:07,925
At my age you, you've got to
keep your blood sugar steady.
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00:06:08,051 --> 00:06:09,426
I dip at around 10:00.
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00:06:10,887 --> 00:06:12,222
Don't worry about it.
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Oatmeal and cheese
sandwich, no crusts.
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00:06:21,981 --> 00:06:23,607
You should eat something.
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He's coming.
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I like the
shape of your ears.
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What else do you
like the shape of?
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00:06:46,130 --> 00:06:47,631
You know what I miss?
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Mimosas.
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I'm gonna need your help
with something.
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You missed breakfast.
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I needed to sleep
more than I needed eggs.
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00:07:04,941 --> 00:07:06,943
Miss Claudette,
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00:07:07,068 --> 00:07:09,444
I want to apologize to you for
everything that Larry said.
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00:07:09,570 --> 00:07:10,780
I had no idea it was gonna...
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00:07:10,905 --> 00:07:13,449
I know the stories they
say about me, Chapman.
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00:07:13,532 --> 00:07:15,652
I wish you'd thought enough
of me to ask for the truth.
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00:07:20,248 --> 00:07:22,458
If you're getting sick,
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00:07:22,541 --> 00:07:23,626
please keep your hands clean
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00:07:23,751 --> 00:07:25,502
and stay on your side
of the room.
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Tomorrow is a big day for me
and I won't have you ruin it.
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00:07:29,424 --> 00:07:30,967
That seems to be
a talent of yours.
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You ain't said
nothin' all morning.
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00:07:37,848 --> 00:07:39,892
There ain't nothing
worth saying.
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00:07:40,517 --> 00:07:42,318
And they say there's no
such thing as miracles.
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00:07:44,314 --> 00:07:46,482
Yikes.
No scrappy rejoinder?
92
00:07:47,608 --> 00:07:49,209
They must have put
you on the scary meds.
93
00:07:49,819 --> 00:07:51,180
Why ain't you
throwing back at her?
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00:07:51,321 --> 00:07:52,863
'Cause there ain't no
point, Leanne, all right?
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00:07:52,989 --> 00:07:54,531
I got beat.
96
00:07:54,657 --> 00:07:56,951
Ain't nobody up there
looking out for me no more.
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00:07:57,534 --> 00:07:58,828
I'm looking out for you.
98
00:07:59,245 --> 00:08:00,579
You know,
he finally come to me,
99
00:08:00,663 --> 00:08:02,583
after all this time that
I've been following him.
100
00:08:02,623 --> 00:08:04,750
I finally heard him talk to me,
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00:08:04,834 --> 00:08:07,837
him saying how I was
his girl, I was.
102
00:08:09,088 --> 00:08:10,256
Turns out it weren't him.
103
00:08:10,340 --> 00:08:11,841
No, it was Chapman,
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00:08:12,342 --> 00:08:14,051
the bitch devil of Litchfield.
105
00:08:14,718 --> 00:08:17,138
Well, you missed her
boyfriend's crazy radio show.
106
00:08:17,305 --> 00:08:19,432
Hey. Chapman put
her ass on the line
107
00:08:19,515 --> 00:08:21,642
to get you out
of Psych, you know?
108
00:08:21,809 --> 00:08:23,209
She's cleaning toilets
every morning
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00:08:23,227 --> 00:08:24,561
like Private
"fucking" Benjamin.
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00:08:25,771 --> 00:08:28,858
Look, I ain't looking
for revenge, okay?
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She'd probably
kick my ass anyway.
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00:08:32,862 --> 00:08:36,573
No way, Tucky. You're
small but you got spit.
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00:08:36,699 --> 00:08:37,992
Man, do you know what it means,
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00:08:38,075 --> 00:08:40,828
when there ain't nobody up
there punishing the evildoers?
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00:08:41,204 --> 00:08:44,332
It means there ain't nobody giving out
prizes for the good ones, neither.
116
00:08:45,041 --> 00:08:48,252
'Cause there ain't no judge,
there ain't no justice.
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We just crawl around this Earth
like ants and then we die.
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You don't gotta kill it.
119
00:09:02,808 --> 00:09:05,019
I'm just thinking
about you, is all.
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00:09:05,728 --> 00:09:06,937
I mean, you
show 'em a baby,
121
00:09:07,063 --> 00:09:08,583
you get good money
from the government.
122
00:09:09,940 --> 00:09:11,275
Plus WIC packages.
123
00:09:12,609 --> 00:09:15,154
All kinds of things
in them packages you get.
124
00:09:15,238 --> 00:09:17,990
Cheese, peanut butter.
125
00:09:19,409 --> 00:09:20,576
Baby food.
126
00:09:21,827 --> 00:09:24,372
Hell, you can make a good
casserole out of baby food.
127
00:09:24,455 --> 00:09:27,083
Sprinkle some Fritos
on top, tuna.
128
00:09:27,875 --> 00:09:32,296
Tasty as hell, and baby
food is vegetables.
129
00:09:32,505 --> 00:09:34,106
Well, if you're eating
all the baby food,
130
00:09:34,215 --> 00:09:36,008
what's the baby supposed to eat?
131
00:09:38,428 --> 00:09:39,929
Suit yourself.
132
00:09:40,221 --> 00:09:41,431
I'm not keeping it, Arlen.
133
00:09:43,891 --> 00:09:45,601
You never keep it.
134
00:09:47,811 --> 00:09:51,982
Look, my cousin, Sierra, she had a
baby down at County last summer,
135
00:09:52,233 --> 00:09:53,526
and after they drug tested her,
136
00:09:53,609 --> 00:09:55,111
they took the baby boy away
137
00:09:55,194 --> 00:09:58,989
and they arrested her for
endangering a minor, okay?
138
00:09:59,823 --> 00:10:02,118
So, I think babies
are cute and all
139
00:10:02,201 --> 00:10:04,912
but I ain't going
to jail for this fucker.
140
00:10:06,456 --> 00:10:08,291
Well, another idea is,
141
00:10:11,377 --> 00:10:12,795
you could stop doing drugs.
142
00:10:29,270 --> 00:10:32,356
For real, though, I need a
ride tomorrow to the clinic.
143
00:10:34,358 --> 00:10:38,237
Hell, tomorrow I gotta do
the thing with the hammers.
144
00:10:50,291 --> 00:10:51,417
Jesus!
145
00:10:51,501 --> 00:10:52,585
Hey.
146
00:10:55,087 --> 00:10:56,797
You know what's overrated?
147
00:10:57,923 --> 00:10:59,175
Toast.
148
00:11:03,971 --> 00:11:05,139
Wanna fuck in the pantry?
149
00:11:05,264 --> 00:11:07,183
Hey!
Get out of here.
150
00:11:07,308 --> 00:11:08,518
You're gonna get us shot.
151
00:11:08,892 --> 00:11:10,311
I'm serious.
152
00:11:11,979 --> 00:11:13,820
I was so afraid about you
finding out the truth,
153
00:11:13,897 --> 00:11:15,525
but now it's out,
and it's okay.
154
00:11:15,983 --> 00:11:17,568
It's kind of a rush.
155
00:11:18,528 --> 00:11:20,404
Cool thing about sex
in an industrial kitchen
156
00:11:20,530 --> 00:11:21,738
is there's a ton
of margarine in here.
157
00:11:21,989 --> 00:11:22,990
Stop it, Alex.
158
00:11:23,073 --> 00:11:24,074
Come on, babe.
159
00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:25,951
Let's celebrate how totally
fine you are with everything.
160
00:11:26,076 --> 00:11:27,161
You're freaking me out.
161
00:11:27,244 --> 00:11:28,287
You ain't seen nothing yet.
162
00:11:28,454 --> 00:11:29,788
I said stop it.
What?
163
00:11:29,872 --> 00:11:32,166
Can't a girl be totally overcome
with desire for someone
164
00:11:32,249 --> 00:11:33,334
who's being so cool,
165
00:11:33,417 --> 00:11:34,460
and so forgiving?
166
00:11:34,544 --> 00:11:36,128
We're not okay!
167
00:11:38,713 --> 00:11:39,965
This is not fine!
168
00:11:40,049 --> 00:11:42,552
Good. Now we could
talk about it.
169
00:11:42,717 --> 00:11:43,757
It that what this is about?
170
00:11:43,886 --> 00:11:45,720
Yeah. That's what this is about.
171
00:11:46,389 --> 00:11:49,559
You find out that I personally
got you thrown in here
172
00:11:49,684 --> 00:11:52,436
at the exact moment your manicured
fingers were like closing
173
00:11:52,562 --> 00:11:53,646
on the yuppie brass ring,
174
00:11:53,728 --> 00:11:55,939
and somehow you don't
have a problem with it?
175
00:11:56,065 --> 00:11:57,233
You are so full of shit.
176
00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:58,693
Fuck you.
177
00:11:59,734 --> 00:12:01,237
Fuck you, Alex.
178
00:12:01,862 --> 00:12:03,155
You want me to be angry?
179
00:12:03,239 --> 00:12:06,409
Well, guess what, I'm really fucking
angry, because I love you, Alex.
180
00:12:08,077 --> 00:12:11,163
I love you
and I fucking hate you.
181
00:12:12,456 --> 00:12:14,584
I have really been trying
to keep my shit together,
182
00:12:14,709 --> 00:12:18,128
but if you really need to see
me Hulk out over this...
183
00:12:21,006 --> 00:12:22,550
Larry left you, didn't he?
184
00:12:26,095 --> 00:12:29,599
And that's why you're
fake-fine with me.
185
00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:32,602
Right now you're willing to
overlook pretty much anything
186
00:12:32,727 --> 00:12:36,355
because ultimately you are
just terrified of being alone.
187
00:12:39,149 --> 00:12:41,151
Is that what I am to you?
188
00:12:41,485 --> 00:12:46,449
A fucking binky for you to
suck on until you feel better?
189
00:12:49,493 --> 00:12:50,661
Look at me.
190
00:12:55,750 --> 00:12:57,334
Why did you do it?
191
00:12:57,501 --> 00:12:59,378
They were offering less time.
192
00:13:00,129 --> 00:13:02,089
A lot less time, depending
on how much I gave them.
193
00:13:03,006 --> 00:13:06,636
I hadn't seen or heard
from you in eight years.
194
00:13:06,801 --> 00:13:10,347
You weren't even real anymore,
which made it easier.
195
00:13:12,099 --> 00:13:15,102
And I was pretty sure one of the
other guys would give you up anyway.
196
00:13:15,227 --> 00:13:18,397
And if I'm being really honest,
197
00:13:18,481 --> 00:13:20,065
I was still pissed at you.
198
00:13:21,317 --> 00:13:22,735
For leaving.
199
00:13:24,069 --> 00:13:25,237
For my mom.
200
00:13:26,489 --> 00:13:30,660
So, yeah, at that moment
I probably was just, like,
201
00:13:30,785 --> 00:13:32,703
"Fuck you," you know?
202
00:13:35,205 --> 00:13:36,666
I'm not proud of myself.
203
00:13:36,791 --> 00:13:38,334
You lied to me.
204
00:13:39,502 --> 00:13:41,253
When I first got here
you could've given me
205
00:13:41,337 --> 00:13:42,588
this whole speech right then.
206
00:13:44,006 --> 00:13:46,008
I wanted you to like me.
207
00:13:47,842 --> 00:13:49,011
I still do.
208
00:13:49,804 --> 00:13:53,182
Maybe you should've thought
that all the way through.
209
00:14:05,361 --> 00:14:06,362
Ugh.
210
00:14:06,445 --> 00:14:07,946
This isn't even
remotely coffee.
211
00:14:08,656 --> 00:14:10,240
No, it's dandelions.
212
00:14:10,741 --> 00:14:12,493
Which are loaded
with potassium, man.
213
00:14:12,576 --> 00:14:14,953
Everyone thinks potassium
is all about the bananas,
214
00:14:15,037 --> 00:14:16,913
but that is
banana-lobby bullshit.
215
00:14:20,543 --> 00:14:22,127
She does have a point
about the radio thing,
216
00:14:22,211 --> 00:14:23,838
I'll cop to that.
217
00:14:23,920 --> 00:14:25,715
She's the most interesting
thing about me right now,
218
00:14:25,798 --> 00:14:28,217
and I used that.
Mmm.
219
00:14:28,634 --> 00:14:31,011
And I guess it was a dick move.
220
00:14:31,094 --> 00:14:33,430
But that doesn't make it
okay that she cheated on me.
221
00:14:33,639 --> 00:14:35,766
No, cheating
is a strong word, pal.
222
00:14:36,392 --> 00:14:38,394
Sorry, is there
another word for
223
00:14:38,477 --> 00:14:40,563
"fucking someone other than
the person you promised,
224
00:14:40,646 --> 00:14:42,523
"in the very recent past,
225
00:14:42,606 --> 00:14:44,316
"to fuck exclusively forever"?
226
00:14:44,567 --> 00:14:46,687
Uh, no. I'm just saying that
this "someone" was a girl,
227
00:14:46,736 --> 00:14:47,903
which isn't really cheating.
228
00:14:48,987 --> 00:14:51,907
Like, you and Piper
play squash together.
229
00:14:52,032 --> 00:14:55,244
And if in her downtime she
joins a softball team, then...
230
00:14:55,411 --> 00:14:57,580
That's the bigger problem
with this whole thing.
231
00:14:57,705 --> 00:14:59,415
She fucked a woman.
232
00:14:59,540 --> 00:15:01,542
So what, is she gay now?
233
00:15:02,543 --> 00:15:07,464
I don't know about "now." I just
think that she is what she is, man.
234
00:15:08,799 --> 00:15:10,300
Which is what exactly?
235
00:15:10,467 --> 00:15:12,636
I'm gonna go ahead and guess
that one of the issues here
236
00:15:12,762 --> 00:15:16,223
is your need to say that a
person is exactly anything.
237
00:15:21,604 --> 00:15:23,606
I think it might be over.
238
00:15:28,819 --> 00:15:30,237
Uh...
No offense, Bloomer,
239
00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:33,073
but it's super weird
that I'm in the middle here.
240
00:15:34,324 --> 00:15:35,604
You know,
one of the main reasons
241
00:15:35,618 --> 00:15:37,578
that I live 110 miles
from civilization
242
00:15:37,661 --> 00:15:40,163
is I'm kind of allergic
to other people's drama.
243
00:15:40,289 --> 00:15:43,333
Including, and sometimes especially
when it involves my sister.
244
00:15:43,459 --> 00:15:45,335
That's kind of the whole point,
245
00:15:45,461 --> 00:15:46,796
you know what I'm saying?
246
00:15:47,463 --> 00:15:50,507
Yeah. I know. Uh...
You want me to take off?
247
00:15:50,841 --> 00:15:53,469
No, man. Absolutely chill
here for a few days
248
00:15:53,552 --> 00:15:54,804
if it helps you out.
249
00:15:54,929 --> 00:15:56,555
I would just really
enjoy not being involved
250
00:15:56,639 --> 00:15:59,600
in any kind
of decision-making process.
251
00:15:59,683 --> 00:16:02,364
And respect the limitations of the septic system.
252
00:16:02,436 --> 00:16:04,187
It's touch-and-go
as it is.
253
00:16:09,234 --> 00:16:10,235
Holy shit.
254
00:16:15,491 --> 00:16:17,409
Everything okay?
Dude, I'm engaged!
255
00:16:35,469 --> 00:16:37,930
Mr. Caputo, I gotta
make a complaint
256
00:16:38,013 --> 00:16:39,974
about the fungus in
the Spanish showers.
257
00:16:40,056 --> 00:16:41,057
Talk to a CO about that.
258
00:16:41,183 --> 00:16:42,463
I did. They told
me to come to you
259
00:16:42,518 --> 00:16:44,937
because you were the only one that
could deal with this from high up.
260
00:16:45,020 --> 00:16:46,021
I bet they did.
261
00:16:46,104 --> 00:16:50,693
I got a serious case
underneath my big toenail.
262
00:16:51,318 --> 00:16:55,698
It is all squishy
and green under there.
263
00:16:55,781 --> 00:16:56,866
As a matter of fact,
let me show you.
264
00:16:56,991 --> 00:16:59,827
No. That will absolutely
not be necessary.
265
00:17:00,035 --> 00:17:02,746
Well, could you at least get Crazy
Eyes over to the light brown side?
266
00:17:02,872 --> 00:17:05,290
I mean, she's keeping the ghetto
cleaner than a nun's chocha, mira.
267
00:17:05,374 --> 00:17:08,043
And another thing,
between my pinkie toe
268
00:17:08,126 --> 00:17:10,713
and my ring toe, it is
bad news, bad news!
269
00:17:10,838 --> 00:17:12,715
So when I go to medical
call and I show them,
270
00:17:12,798 --> 00:17:14,550
they write that shit down,
271
00:17:14,633 --> 00:17:17,177
I gotta let them know
that I told you guys.
272
00:17:17,386 --> 00:17:18,971
What happened
to your shower shoes?
273
00:17:19,179 --> 00:17:20,430
So I just passed out
sitting there like that,
274
00:17:20,556 --> 00:17:22,436
and then when I woke up
my zoris, they were gone,
275
00:17:22,474 --> 00:17:23,517
right off my feet.
276
00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:27,813
Which reminds me, stealing, that's
another problem we've been having.
277
00:17:30,691 --> 00:17:32,052
Well, what are you
gonna do, right?
278
00:17:32,067 --> 00:17:33,569
At least we got our sanity.
279
00:17:35,237 --> 00:17:37,364
Oh, look at that.
Ten of jack.
280
00:17:37,698 --> 00:17:41,911
Mr. Caputo, I think I heard somebody
crying in the utility closet.
281
00:17:42,036 --> 00:17:43,245
Oh, well, we can't have that.
282
00:17:43,328 --> 00:17:45,372
I'm just saying
'cause we had that suicide
283
00:17:45,455 --> 00:17:46,957
and you know
how these girls are.
284
00:17:47,082 --> 00:17:49,710
They get an idea in their heads
and if you don't watch out
285
00:17:49,793 --> 00:17:52,588
they start offing themselves every
time they get their period.
286
00:17:52,671 --> 00:17:54,965
I know you guys wrote a really
encouraging memo about it,
287
00:17:55,090 --> 00:17:56,174
but truth be told,
288
00:17:56,258 --> 00:17:58,844
I'm not sure
everybody here can read.
289
00:17:58,928 --> 00:18:00,930
I mean, I would
look into it myself
290
00:18:01,055 --> 00:18:02,890
but I got too much empathy.
291
00:18:03,015 --> 00:18:04,224
Lays me low.
292
00:18:04,391 --> 00:18:06,142
If I am not home
in my massage chair
293
00:18:06,268 --> 00:18:08,687
holding a glass of Wild
Turkey in 25 minutes,
294
00:18:08,771 --> 00:18:10,731
I am holding you
personally responsible.
295
00:18:15,861 --> 00:18:19,281
Yeah. That's it, baby. Faster.
296
00:18:21,116 --> 00:18:22,826
Seriously, faster.
297
00:18:24,160 --> 00:18:26,080
Oh, my God.
Here it comes.
298
00:18:26,162 --> 00:18:30,333
Oh, God! Oh, God!
I, I love you. Oh, God!
299
00:18:32,168 --> 00:18:34,046
Christ on a cross.
300
00:18:41,053 --> 00:18:42,512
You seem very chipper
this morning.
301
00:18:43,055 --> 00:18:45,975
My lawyer thinks the judge
is leaning our way.
302
00:18:46,058 --> 00:18:48,351
We find out this afternoon.
303
00:18:49,979 --> 00:18:51,605
Oh, I have something for you.
304
00:18:53,816 --> 00:18:55,358
Well, honestly,
I got it for myself,
305
00:18:55,484 --> 00:18:57,152
but I figured you could use it.
306
00:18:58,570 --> 00:18:59,696
For your special day.
307
00:18:59,822 --> 00:19:01,573
I don't know
if that is my color.
308
00:19:01,698 --> 00:19:03,617
Hold out your hand.
309
00:19:14,878 --> 00:19:17,255
You have any big plans
if this all works out?
310
00:19:17,714 --> 00:19:19,716
There is someone
waiting for me.
311
00:19:19,842 --> 00:19:21,677
That is plan enough.
312
00:19:21,927 --> 00:19:25,221
And I'm going to eat
dinner at dinner time.
313
00:19:26,431 --> 00:19:29,643
At 7:00,
like a person.
314
00:19:30,936 --> 00:19:31,937
What do you think?
315
00:19:33,188 --> 00:19:34,690
Pretty.
Hmm.
316
00:19:56,461 --> 00:19:57,587
Fuck me running.
317
00:19:57,713 --> 00:20:00,549
Are you trying to kill the
warden, Joe, is that it?
318
00:20:00,632 --> 00:20:02,134
Are you trying to lay him
out flat with a stroke?
319
00:20:02,217 --> 00:20:04,386
Because hired fucking assassins
320
00:20:04,469 --> 00:20:05,637
could not be doing
a better job on him
321
00:20:05,721 --> 00:20:07,305
than you are right now.
322
00:20:07,681 --> 00:20:08,974
It was an isolated incident.
323
00:20:09,099 --> 00:20:11,434
Oh, right. Like the
hanging two weeks ago.
324
00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:13,729
Or the maple syrup situation
before that.
325
00:20:13,854 --> 00:20:15,934
An armadillo could run this
place better than you can,
326
00:20:15,939 --> 00:20:16,982
I swear to God.
327
00:20:17,066 --> 00:20:18,901
I can't be everywhere.
328
00:20:19,609 --> 00:20:22,738
You can't blame me
for this scumbag deciding
329
00:20:22,863 --> 00:20:25,407
last night was his go time
to start raping people.
330
00:20:25,490 --> 00:20:28,035
Whoa, whoa, whoa. We are not
talking about a rape here.
331
00:20:28,744 --> 00:20:30,746
We're not using the "R" word.
332
00:20:30,829 --> 00:20:33,999
A CO fucks an inmate
against her will...
333
00:20:34,208 --> 00:20:37,127
Did she scream?
Was she crying?
334
00:20:37,252 --> 00:20:39,671
These girls throwing
themselves at COs
335
00:20:39,755 --> 00:20:40,797
thinking they can
get out of here
336
00:20:40,923 --> 00:20:42,083
and snag a government pension.
337
00:20:42,132 --> 00:20:43,341
Read the rules, Fig.
338
00:20:43,425 --> 00:20:45,427
The girl can't give consent
even if she wants to.
339
00:20:45,594 --> 00:20:50,599
Listen to me. We are not putting
rape on the record right now.
340
00:20:52,267 --> 00:20:55,729
Mendez is gonna take a
little leave without pay.
341
00:20:56,939 --> 00:21:00,109
Uh, the stress of the job is
getting to him, etcetera.
342
00:21:00,567 --> 00:21:03,612
Frankly, we could use the money,
the budget is shot to hell.
343
00:21:03,737 --> 00:21:07,950
I am going to sell this
to the warden as a plus.
344
00:21:11,203 --> 00:21:14,289
It's getting a little old
cleaning up your messes, Joe.
345
00:21:26,426 --> 00:21:27,636
What the hell happened last night?
You okay?
346
00:21:27,761 --> 00:21:28,762
Should you be working?
347
00:21:28,845 --> 00:21:29,888
I'm fine.
348
00:21:30,055 --> 00:21:31,181
Daya, if he hurt you...
349
00:21:31,306 --> 00:21:34,268
Bennett, I'm fine.
And now you're fine, too.
350
00:21:36,270 --> 00:21:37,312
What?
351
00:21:37,395 --> 00:21:39,314
Now, when they find out
I got a baby in me,
352
00:21:39,439 --> 00:21:41,316
it ain't gonna
come down on you.
353
00:21:43,819 --> 00:21:44,903
Oh, my God.
354
00:21:45,904 --> 00:21:47,697
Don't be mad.
You did it on purpose?
355
00:21:47,823 --> 00:21:49,908
Because I love you.
I did it for us.
356
00:21:50,075 --> 00:21:52,077
For us, you fucked Mendez?
357
00:21:52,828 --> 00:21:54,997
And you lied? You got him
suspended without pay.
358
00:21:55,164 --> 00:21:56,539
Suspended?
359
00:21:56,665 --> 00:21:59,584
They ain't fired that fucknut?
He raped me.
360
00:21:59,751 --> 00:22:01,295
He didn't rape you,
you framed him.
361
00:22:01,377 --> 00:22:02,879
Yeah, but as far as they know.
362
00:22:05,090 --> 00:22:06,716
Anyway, it don't matter.
363
00:22:06,842 --> 00:22:08,468
Everything's gonna be okay now.
364
00:22:11,888 --> 00:22:13,015
Who are you?
365
00:22:25,360 --> 00:22:26,695
So what?
Leanne call you?
366
00:22:27,237 --> 00:22:28,530
She's worried about you.
367
00:22:28,613 --> 00:22:29,865
Said you haven't been yourself.
368
00:22:29,990 --> 00:22:32,701
Yeah.
She's probably right.
369
00:22:32,826 --> 00:22:35,146
I'm still getting out from under
the meds that they gave me.
370
00:22:35,578 --> 00:22:36,705
Why?
371
00:22:36,830 --> 00:22:39,373
'Cause you so much as even
squawk about God in here,
372
00:22:39,499 --> 00:22:41,251
and you get thrown in
with the Looney Toons.
373
00:22:41,543 --> 00:22:43,545
Yeah. Well, liberals
are everywhere.
374
00:22:43,670 --> 00:22:45,150
Yeah. Well, they ain't
wrong, you know?
375
00:22:45,379 --> 00:22:46,380
About what?
376
00:22:46,923 --> 00:22:48,675
Oh, this girl, Chapman?
377
00:22:49,885 --> 00:22:52,929
She made me believe that he'd chose me.
He didn't.
378
00:22:53,055 --> 00:22:55,849
They all disrespecting me,
he didn't do nothing.
379
00:22:56,683 --> 00:22:57,893
He let 'em laugh at me.
380
00:22:57,976 --> 00:23:00,937
Conclusion being that I don't
think he exists at all.
381
00:23:01,063 --> 00:23:04,191
And if he does, he ain't
a person I wanna know.
382
00:23:06,151 --> 00:23:09,905
Matthew 5:11.
383
00:23:10,072 --> 00:23:14,243
"Blessed are ye, when men shall
revile you, and persecute you,
384
00:23:14,368 --> 00:23:16,245
"and shall speak
all manner of evil
385
00:23:16,328 --> 00:23:18,538
"against you falsely,
for my sake."
386
00:23:18,621 --> 00:23:20,707
He hasn't abandoned you,
Tiffany.
387
00:23:21,415 --> 00:23:23,417
Maybe he just wants you to
notice someone who needs him.
388
00:23:23,543 --> 00:23:24,586
She don't need him, okay?
389
00:23:24,669 --> 00:23:28,757
All she needs is her own self and her
sasquatch of a girlfriend, okay?
390
00:23:28,924 --> 00:23:31,593
People hurt other people
because they're unhappy.
391
00:23:32,344 --> 00:23:34,264
Because they feel guilty
over things they've done
392
00:23:34,388 --> 00:23:35,847
and they have no one
to forgive them.
393
00:23:35,931 --> 00:23:38,308
You might as well
tell me to turn into a duck.
394
00:23:38,892 --> 00:23:40,018
'Cause I ain't forgiving her.
395
00:23:40,102 --> 00:23:43,437
I mean, I have to confess that to
you right now, I'm not that big.
396
00:23:44,606 --> 00:23:46,400
God wants you to be that big.
397
00:23:46,482 --> 00:23:48,985
He chose you to be a hero.
398
00:23:49,819 --> 00:23:52,281
Remember how you yourself
have been forgiven.
399
00:24:23,312 --> 00:24:24,813
Number five, huh?
400
00:24:24,896 --> 00:24:27,899
We should give you a punch-card,
get the sixth one free.
401
00:24:50,172 --> 00:24:51,692
You best not waste
my squirrel bullets.
402
00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:53,300
She disrespected me.
403
00:25:06,062 --> 00:25:09,065
I assume
you heard about Mendez.
404
00:25:09,441 --> 00:25:11,318
I heard
he was fraternizing, sir.
405
00:25:11,985 --> 00:25:13,362
"Fraternizing."
406
00:25:14,196 --> 00:25:17,615
Fischer, I've seen some
things I can't unsee.
407
00:25:18,116 --> 00:25:19,533
I can imagine.
408
00:25:19,868 --> 00:25:23,913
More importantly, I've had
to put an officer on ice,
409
00:25:24,039 --> 00:25:28,210
leaving us short-handed a week
before the Christmas pageant.
410
00:25:28,293 --> 00:25:33,840
You have not seen crazy until you've
seen 200 women with anger issues
411
00:25:33,923 --> 00:25:37,886
fighting over who's gonna
be the ass-end of a camel.
412
00:25:38,887 --> 00:25:40,180
Are we working extra hours?
413
00:25:40,722 --> 00:25:42,891
Washington won't cover
two-ply toilet paper,
414
00:25:42,974 --> 00:25:44,893
they're not gonna start
shelling out overtime.
415
00:25:45,018 --> 00:25:46,853
We'll get a body in
from down the hill.
416
00:25:47,354 --> 00:25:50,023
What I need from you is,
417
00:25:51,565 --> 00:25:54,319
not to get yourself in
trouble the way Mendez did.
418
00:25:54,444 --> 00:25:56,488
Oh, I'm not gay, sir.
419
00:25:56,696 --> 00:25:58,948
No, God, no,
I didn't mean that.
420
00:25:59,074 --> 00:26:02,077
No. You are straight
as they come.
421
00:26:02,327 --> 00:26:06,580
I mean, does a zebra
have stripes, am I right?
422
00:26:06,748 --> 00:26:08,041
Exactly.
423
00:26:08,417 --> 00:26:13,505
No, what I mean is, you can't
go easy on the inmates.
424
00:26:14,588 --> 00:26:16,841
They will take
advantage of you.
425
00:26:18,176 --> 00:26:21,430
I saw you yesterday,
look the other way
426
00:26:21,513 --> 00:26:24,182
when the nun moved
a contraband muffin.
427
00:26:24,516 --> 00:26:25,716
Oh, Sister Ingalls is harmless.
428
00:26:25,767 --> 00:26:27,102
Sister Ingalls killed a man.
429
00:26:27,227 --> 00:26:28,853
I thought she was
a political protester.
430
00:26:29,645 --> 00:26:31,273
That's not the point.
431
00:26:31,398 --> 00:26:33,607
The point is,
these women are criminals.
432
00:26:34,109 --> 00:26:36,945
And even the cuddly-looking
ones, they have done some shit
433
00:26:37,070 --> 00:26:40,865
that would terrify a kind-hearted
person such as yourself.
434
00:26:42,409 --> 00:26:45,036
Fischer, you need to
get on your game.
435
00:26:45,120 --> 00:26:46,620
You maintain your authority,
436
00:26:46,704 --> 00:26:49,332
you remind them
who's in charge.
437
00:26:49,458 --> 00:26:52,626
If you want,
I can help you out.
438
00:26:53,962 --> 00:26:57,132
Be a mentor or something.
439
00:26:57,340 --> 00:26:59,220
You think it would help
if I use a deeper voice?
440
00:26:59,301 --> 00:27:00,885
"Move along, Sister."
441
00:27:01,386 --> 00:27:02,636
It could, sure.
442
00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:06,099
Also, it helps if you
don't use their names.
443
00:27:06,516 --> 00:27:10,270
Just say, "inmate," like
they're all the same to you.
444
00:27:10,353 --> 00:27:12,646
It reminds them
they're not really people.
445
00:27:13,273 --> 00:27:14,316
They are people.
446
00:27:19,821 --> 00:27:23,158
You can't think that way.
They are sheep.
447
00:27:23,825 --> 00:27:27,661
We feed them, we herd them
from one room to the next.
448
00:27:30,165 --> 00:27:31,500
They're not like you.
449
00:27:33,543 --> 00:27:34,628
You're a woman.
450
00:27:37,339 --> 00:27:38,840
And I'm a man.
451
00:27:42,093 --> 00:27:43,845
All right. Got the
bread crumbs, right?
452
00:27:43,970 --> 00:27:45,679
Come back for that.
Take that in.
453
00:28:20,674 --> 00:28:21,924
What the fuck is this?
454
00:28:22,050 --> 00:28:23,385
Oh, don't start with me.
455
00:28:23,468 --> 00:28:26,054
We are done with
factory meat, babe.
456
00:28:26,179 --> 00:28:28,056
There's no reason why
we can't responsibly
457
00:28:28,139 --> 00:28:30,099
hunt all the animal
protein we need.
458
00:28:30,225 --> 00:28:31,309
Yeah, I was hungry.
459
00:28:31,476 --> 00:28:33,478
Is this some
kind of game to you?
460
00:28:33,562 --> 00:28:37,106
I can't even put this in the compost
pile, it'll make the worms sick.
461
00:28:37,232 --> 00:28:39,817
We're 100% on the same page
philosophically, babe,
462
00:28:39,901 --> 00:28:43,905
but I think we really need to
calibrate the intensity factor.
463
00:28:44,030 --> 00:28:45,865
Oh, you think I'm intense? Yeah.
464
00:28:45,990 --> 00:28:47,242
Okay, guess what?
Without me,
465
00:28:47,325 --> 00:28:49,118
all you're doing is
smoking pot in the forest
466
00:28:49,244 --> 00:28:50,953
in a flannel shirt
and a hipster beard,
467
00:28:51,079 --> 00:28:52,788
like a fat Bon Iver,
468
00:28:52,914 --> 00:28:55,208
the fucking Jack
Johnson of Wisconsin.
469
00:28:55,291 --> 00:28:56,918
Whoa! This is exactly
the kind of black-and-white
470
00:28:57,001 --> 00:28:58,587
Holstein shit that
I'm talking about.
471
00:28:58,670 --> 00:29:00,880
Oh, okay. You know
what the problem is?
472
00:29:00,963 --> 00:29:03,383
We are just funda-fucking-mentally
different people,
473
00:29:03,466 --> 00:29:05,552
at a DNA level!
474
00:29:05,719 --> 00:29:08,054
What? Your father is a
financial systems analyst!
475
00:29:08,221 --> 00:29:10,848
Okay, are you fully committed
to living an authentic life,
476
00:29:10,932 --> 00:29:12,601
or are you just acting out some
477
00:29:12,726 --> 00:29:14,310
Hank-Thoreau-at-Walden-Pond
fantasy shit
478
00:29:14,436 --> 00:29:15,937
from seventh grade English?
479
00:29:16,104 --> 00:29:18,106
Why does it matter?
I can't talk to you!
480
00:29:25,780 --> 00:29:27,073
Well, that was awkward.
481
00:29:29,033 --> 00:29:30,201
What, awkward how?
482
00:29:31,453 --> 00:29:35,373
It's just tough to watch you
hit the rocks like that, man.
483
00:29:36,374 --> 00:29:39,753
No. That was
foreplay, Bloomer.
484
00:29:39,835 --> 00:29:41,379
Yeah, that's, that's
how we relate.
485
00:29:41,546 --> 00:29:43,005
It seems a little aggressive.
486
00:29:43,298 --> 00:29:46,384
Think about how baby Cal
grew up, all right?
487
00:29:46,468 --> 00:29:49,053
Everyone pretended
everything was chill.
488
00:29:49,137 --> 00:29:52,474
Dad fucked two different
women named Linda,
489
00:29:52,557 --> 00:29:56,852
Mom lived on gin and cottage
cheese from '91 to about '98
490
00:29:56,978 --> 00:30:00,649
and everyone knew and nobody
ever said anything about it.
491
00:30:00,732 --> 00:30:04,193
But with Neri, we put
everything out there, man.
492
00:30:04,319 --> 00:30:05,779
It's safe.
493
00:30:05,861 --> 00:30:09,115
You know, we scream and throw
shit and it's like, electric,
494
00:30:09,198 --> 00:30:12,201
you know what I'm saying?
It's erotic, no joke.
495
00:30:12,327 --> 00:30:14,537
I mean, you get it.
You're a Jew.
496
00:30:15,705 --> 00:30:18,166
All right,
I just got to say it, man.
497
00:30:18,874 --> 00:30:22,086
You guys have known each other
what, nine weeks, tops?
498
00:30:22,587 --> 00:30:24,213
Isn't the whole
thing a little fast?
499
00:30:24,464 --> 00:30:25,881
Oh, okay.
500
00:30:26,882 --> 00:30:28,510
Maybe it
doesn't look like what
501
00:30:28,593 --> 00:30:30,194
everyone else thinks
it should look like,
502
00:30:30,219 --> 00:30:31,721
but who cares?
503
00:30:32,514 --> 00:30:36,184
We're crazy,
but we are in this.
504
00:30:48,279 --> 00:30:50,031
They said the video
machine got unhooked.
505
00:30:50,740 --> 00:30:53,868
There's this, uh,
Guatemalan grandma
506
00:30:53,993 --> 00:30:57,789
who's been teaching herself
English watching Turner and Hooch
507
00:30:57,872 --> 00:31:02,043
about six times a day. I'm
guessing someone got tired of it.
508
00:31:04,212 --> 00:31:05,672
I came by yoga today.
509
00:31:07,089 --> 00:31:08,090
Oh.
510
00:31:08,924 --> 00:31:11,386
Well, I'm taking
a little break.
511
00:31:12,053 --> 00:31:13,596
I thought yoga
was a little break.
512
00:31:14,055 --> 00:31:15,264
It was.
513
00:31:16,224 --> 00:31:17,517
Then I hit you.
514
00:31:18,643 --> 00:31:20,812
You can only take so
much Zen, you know?
515
00:31:20,895 --> 00:31:24,273
Sometimes you
wanna feel something.
516
00:31:26,776 --> 00:31:28,486
You gotta talk
about it sometime.
517
00:31:34,283 --> 00:31:39,581
I used to grow marijuana out in
California, Humboldt County.
518
00:31:39,706 --> 00:31:41,583
One acre, nothing crazy.
519
00:31:41,708 --> 00:31:43,710
Just enough to keep me going.
520
00:31:44,252 --> 00:31:45,420
Goin', like, baked?
521
00:31:45,503 --> 00:31:46,962
Like, pay the rent.
522
00:31:47,547 --> 00:31:50,091
I mean, I smoked it
once in a while.
523
00:31:50,174 --> 00:31:55,137
But mostly I was just a
good old-fashioned drunk,
524
00:31:55,263 --> 00:31:57,390
like my parents
raised me to be.
525
00:31:58,391 --> 00:31:59,809
So the Feds shut you down.
526
00:31:59,975 --> 00:32:01,895
Actually, it was the deer.
527
00:32:02,771 --> 00:32:03,813
The who, now?
528
00:32:05,147 --> 00:32:07,358
Oh, yeah, deer love weed.
529
00:32:07,442 --> 00:32:08,484
Fucks them right up, too.
530
00:32:08,610 --> 00:32:12,071
They start jumping around
all over the place.
531
00:32:12,154 --> 00:32:14,115
Then they come back for more.
532
00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:16,451
And the kicker is,
you can't keep them out.
533
00:32:16,534 --> 00:32:21,497
I tried everything.
Soap shavings, fox pee,
534
00:32:21,623 --> 00:32:25,126
which they sell at the Home
Depot for $120 a gallon.
535
00:32:25,251 --> 00:32:27,128
Seems like you could
have just built a fence.
536
00:32:27,253 --> 00:32:31,006
No, a deer can jump an
eight-foot barb wire fence
537
00:32:31,132 --> 00:32:34,469
with a smile on its face,
like Donald O'Connor.
538
00:32:35,177 --> 00:32:36,554
Get to the meat already.
539
00:32:39,515 --> 00:32:44,813
I got a hunting rifle
and stayed up all night,
540
00:32:44,938 --> 00:32:47,607
four, five times a week.
541
00:32:47,690 --> 00:32:49,567
And finally, one night
542
00:32:49,651 --> 00:32:55,156
I see them rustling around
the edge of my property,
543
00:32:55,281 --> 00:32:58,660
where I was growing
the quality shit,
544
00:32:58,743 --> 00:33:02,037
this hybrid
plant called AK-47,
545
00:33:02,163 --> 00:33:05,166
which the fake
prescription people
546
00:33:05,291 --> 00:33:07,710
eat up like peanuts.
I was pissed.
547
00:33:07,877 --> 00:33:08,878
And drunk?
548
00:33:09,003 --> 00:33:10,672
Oh, honey, that goes
without saying.
549
00:33:11,464 --> 00:33:12,632
So what happened?
550
00:33:14,968 --> 00:33:16,302
I shot him.
551
00:33:18,596 --> 00:33:19,639
And?
552
00:33:21,098 --> 00:33:22,892
And it wasn't a deer.
553
00:33:25,937 --> 00:33:30,024
It was an eight-year-old kid
554
00:33:31,359 --> 00:33:35,404
from the farm next door who
was running away from home
555
00:33:35,530 --> 00:33:39,868
because his dad
took away his Nintendo.
556
00:33:43,872 --> 00:33:45,373
A kid.
557
00:33:47,667 --> 00:33:48,751
Shit.
558
00:33:49,210 --> 00:33:55,800
And they buried him on
their property, in a box.
559
00:33:59,428 --> 00:34:03,474
Work hours means no socializing
whatsoever, inmates.
560
00:34:03,641 --> 00:34:05,434
It was a mistake.
561
00:34:06,060 --> 00:34:07,102
Oh, no.
562
00:34:08,563 --> 00:34:09,814
We're having a moment here.
563
00:34:10,023 --> 00:34:12,734
Shit. I'm sorry.
Carry on.
564
00:34:20,241 --> 00:34:21,701
I don't even
know what Kwanzaa is.
565
00:34:21,784 --> 00:34:22,827
I mean, except
that you're supposed
566
00:34:22,911 --> 00:34:24,913
to wear dashikis and
eat corn and stuff.
567
00:34:25,038 --> 00:34:26,873
Nobody
knows what it is, girl.
568
00:34:26,956 --> 00:34:28,583
But they're taking
Fed money up in here,
569
00:34:28,708 --> 00:34:31,586
so they gotta give all the
traditions equal time.
570
00:34:31,711 --> 00:34:33,004
Hey, you know what?
571
00:34:33,087 --> 00:34:35,590
I think I'm gonna be needin' a
traditional week off from work.
572
00:34:35,673 --> 00:34:38,384
Hey! To honor my African
roots, you feel me?
573
00:34:38,509 --> 00:34:41,679
Uh, huh. Joyous Kwanzaa,
my Nubian sister.
574
00:34:43,765 --> 00:34:46,976
May the Kwanzaa
Elf smile upon ya!
575
00:34:49,395 --> 00:34:50,605
And pull it through the loop.
576
00:34:50,688 --> 00:34:52,899
And you got
a single crochet stitch.
577
00:34:52,982 --> 00:34:54,108
Ah, ha, ha, ha!
Look at that!
578
00:34:54,233 --> 00:34:55,777
Ninety-five thousand
more of those
579
00:34:55,902 --> 00:34:57,695
and you'll have a lovely throw.
580
00:34:57,904 --> 00:35:00,782
Hey, college,
I got words for you.
581
00:35:12,251 --> 00:35:14,754
All right, I'm just gonna give
it to you straight, college,
582
00:35:14,837 --> 00:35:19,133
I've been harboring some really
bad hate in my heart for you.
583
00:35:20,384 --> 00:35:21,970
But I saved you. I got
you out of Psych.
584
00:35:22,136 --> 00:35:24,555
You saved me from some
shit you got me into.
585
00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:27,182
Don't be surprised
if there's not
586
00:35:27,308 --> 00:35:28,977
a national holiday
declared in your name.
587
00:35:29,102 --> 00:35:30,853
You got me
thrown into the SHU...
588
00:35:30,979 --> 00:35:32,396
Who's talkin' right now?
589
00:35:35,984 --> 00:35:38,277
Do you realize that
you almost ruined my life?
590
00:35:38,360 --> 00:35:40,195
I mean, do you?
591
00:35:40,321 --> 00:35:42,991
You made the Almighty God
into a joke,
592
00:35:43,074 --> 00:35:45,284
and a joke ain't nothing to me.
593
00:35:45,451 --> 00:35:48,788
A joke didn't write
me letters up in here,
594
00:35:48,871 --> 00:35:53,459
and a joke didn't give me hope
so I could do my time
595
00:35:53,542 --> 00:35:55,795
and make something out of it.
596
00:35:57,839 --> 00:35:59,590
What do you believe in?
597
00:36:03,344 --> 00:36:06,263
Well, I've always thought that
agnostic was sort of a cop-out.
598
00:36:06,347 --> 00:36:08,516
But you know,
if I had to label it,
599
00:36:08,599 --> 00:36:10,309
I'd say that I'm
a secular humanist.
600
00:36:10,392 --> 00:36:11,477
Which is not to say
I'm not spiritual...
601
00:36:11,560 --> 00:36:13,771
You're not religious, okay?
Just stop.
602
00:36:15,148 --> 00:36:16,398
Stop.
603
00:36:17,232 --> 00:36:18,943
You believe in Hussein Obama?
604
00:36:19,861 --> 00:36:22,155
Electric cars and
Shakespeare books
605
00:36:22,237 --> 00:36:24,365
and do you go out to
eat at restaurants?
606
00:36:26,534 --> 00:36:29,954
I don't have any of that, okay?
All I have is him.
607
00:36:30,621 --> 00:36:31,789
I'm sorry.
608
00:36:31,873 --> 00:36:35,001
Don't ask for my forgiveness. You
should ask for His forgiveness.
609
00:36:35,084 --> 00:36:37,045
You need to get right with him,
610
00:36:37,128 --> 00:36:40,589
and then we'll see that all
this was part of His plan.
611
00:36:40,923 --> 00:36:42,633
And then, we don't
have to fight anymore.
612
00:36:42,717 --> 00:36:44,719
I wasn't planning on fighting with you.
Well, then, just do it.
613
00:36:44,844 --> 00:36:45,887
Right now? Yeah, right
here, right now.
614
00:36:46,012 --> 00:36:47,055
Got somewhere to be?
615
00:36:53,686 --> 00:36:54,729
Dear Jesus...
616
00:36:54,854 --> 00:36:56,438
That's awfully
familiar for somebody
617
00:36:56,564 --> 00:36:58,440
that doesn't give
him the time of day.
618
00:36:58,733 --> 00:36:59,734
Um...
619
00:37:00,651 --> 00:37:03,863
Dear Mr. Christ?
620
00:37:08,367 --> 00:37:09,994
Dear Mr. Christ,
621
00:37:10,912 --> 00:37:15,791
I know that I've done
some things recently
622
00:37:15,958 --> 00:37:20,755
that have not been, have
been up to your standards.
623
00:37:21,756 --> 00:37:24,967
And I feel pretty ashamed.
624
00:37:28,429 --> 00:37:30,514
It's really easy
to point fingers.
625
00:37:31,807 --> 00:37:35,686
And I've done some things lately
I feel pretty lousy about.
626
00:37:37,980 --> 00:37:40,858
And I'm wondering if maybe you could
make things right between us?
627
00:37:40,942 --> 00:37:42,276
Meaning forgiveness?
628
00:37:44,653 --> 00:37:48,116
If I could be forgiven,
that would be really...
629
00:37:49,324 --> 00:37:50,325
Um...
630
00:37:52,453 --> 00:37:54,622
That would be
really comforting.
631
00:37:55,748 --> 00:37:56,999
Amen.
632
00:38:01,629 --> 00:38:02,713
How was that?
633
00:38:03,505 --> 00:38:06,425
I think you took a step
on the right road.
634
00:38:07,384 --> 00:38:08,427
Okay.
635
00:38:13,515 --> 00:38:15,184
Now we just gotta
get you baptized.
636
00:38:18,562 --> 00:38:22,191
I would've looped in the Blessed
Virgin to cover my bases.
637
00:38:22,316 --> 00:38:23,358
But that's me.
638
00:38:28,781 --> 00:38:30,074
Let's try again.
639
00:38:34,328 --> 00:38:35,788
Thanks for coming.
640
00:38:36,330 --> 00:38:37,623
What do you want?
641
00:38:38,082 --> 00:38:41,335
Wow, way to harsh on a dude
when he's down, bro, fuck!
642
00:38:41,502 --> 00:38:44,463
You put your dick in Diaz!
643
00:38:44,546 --> 00:38:48,342
It's not what it sounds like, man.
She wanted me to do it.
644
00:38:50,719 --> 00:38:55,349
Hey, Benny, I think
we're in love.
645
00:38:57,685 --> 00:38:59,687
You poor fucker.
646
00:38:59,770 --> 00:39:01,230
Yep.
647
00:39:01,981 --> 00:39:06,194
That's okay. I mean,
if we have to spend
648
00:39:06,277 --> 00:39:08,196
a little bit of time apart,
I can handle that.
649
00:39:10,698 --> 00:39:12,700
I gotta get her a message.
650
00:39:14,952 --> 00:39:16,078
Will you take it?
651
00:39:16,204 --> 00:39:18,664
I could get in
deep shit for that.
652
00:39:18,747 --> 00:39:21,834
Plus, it's not good for you, man.
It's not healthy.
653
00:39:22,710 --> 00:39:25,087
You need a girl who you
can actually be with.
654
00:39:27,048 --> 00:39:28,549
I'm gonna help you out, Benny.
655
00:39:29,675 --> 00:39:30,843
Perfect.
656
00:39:30,926 --> 00:39:33,470
We've got a shipment
coming in tomorrow
657
00:39:33,554 --> 00:39:36,891
from this vendor
called Neptune's Produce.
658
00:39:37,308 --> 00:39:40,435
Stop the truck, get into
it before they unload it.
659
00:39:40,561 --> 00:39:42,437
Look for a box with a
check mark on the side.
660
00:39:42,563 --> 00:39:44,065
Look, I don't wanna be
involved in anything weird.
661
00:39:44,148 --> 00:39:45,233
It's not weird, it's drugs.
662
00:39:48,110 --> 00:39:51,572
Sputnik in the kitchen
is dealing to the inmates,
663
00:39:51,655 --> 00:39:53,824
turning them into addicts.
It's wrong.
664
00:39:54,950 --> 00:39:59,454
You get that box, bring it to
Caputo, he's gonna be grateful.
665
00:39:59,580 --> 00:40:03,292
Butter him up, he'll probably give
you a raise right on the spot.
666
00:40:03,417 --> 00:40:07,046
We could all use a little
extra cash, am I right?
667
00:40:10,632 --> 00:40:14,720
I was gonna be the hero, but I'm
gonna give you my win, man.
668
00:40:16,305 --> 00:40:17,806
It's your win now.
669
00:40:18,766 --> 00:40:19,808
Why?
670
00:40:22,019 --> 00:40:23,271
Satisfaction.
671
00:40:28,109 --> 00:40:29,735
And this.
672
00:40:32,947 --> 00:40:34,698
I'm not saying yes.
673
00:40:37,285 --> 00:40:40,537
But you will, because
you're my brother.
674
00:40:55,552 --> 00:40:56,720
Fuck.
675
00:40:58,680 --> 00:41:00,182
You were right.
676
00:41:01,934 --> 00:41:03,394
About Larry, you were right.
677
00:41:06,730 --> 00:41:09,275
I think that I've lost him.
Can I?
678
00:41:16,740 --> 00:41:19,285
So all of my cards
are on the table.
679
00:41:21,329 --> 00:41:22,663
Everything.
680
00:41:23,622 --> 00:41:25,958
I'm an emotionally
manipulative narcissist
681
00:41:26,041 --> 00:41:28,627
who bailed on you
when your mother died.
682
00:41:30,504 --> 00:41:34,133
And I'm a ruthless pragmatist who
sold you out and then lied about it.
683
00:41:37,345 --> 00:41:38,762
We suck.
684
00:41:40,306 --> 00:41:41,867
It's kind of a relief,
though, isn't it?
685
00:41:43,184 --> 00:41:45,853
Oh, my God, Piper!
I'm getting whiplash here.
686
00:41:46,187 --> 00:41:48,022
I'm not fucking with you.
687
00:41:49,731 --> 00:41:53,861
I've ruined my life now,
twice, over you.
688
00:41:55,863 --> 00:41:59,116
So, what's the end game here?
689
00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:01,702
When we get out of
prison what's the plan?
690
00:42:02,870 --> 00:42:05,914
Are we gonna move to Vermont and open
a pottery studio and wear Tevas?
691
00:42:06,081 --> 00:42:07,721
That sounds
more like Santa Fe.
692
00:42:07,791 --> 00:42:10,544
I'm being serious.
Are you gonna get a job?
693
00:42:10,627 --> 00:42:11,628
Hmm...
694
00:42:11,712 --> 00:42:13,422
Like a regular person?
695
00:42:13,547 --> 00:42:16,008
I mean, I can't even imagine
what that would look like.
696
00:42:16,175 --> 00:42:17,551
Me neither.
697
00:42:19,178 --> 00:42:22,097
I'm good at moving
large amounts of heroin.
698
00:42:22,556 --> 00:42:25,226
Like, really fucking
brilliant at it.
699
00:42:26,101 --> 00:42:28,020
Other than that, I don't know.
700
00:42:29,313 --> 00:42:30,553
One thing that I
do know is that
701
00:42:30,605 --> 00:42:33,192
I am never, ever
coming back to prison.
702
00:42:34,109 --> 00:42:37,946
Listen, I am not planning on going
back to doing illegal shit.
703
00:42:38,072 --> 00:42:40,324
I'm not planning anything.
704
00:42:40,408 --> 00:42:43,452
I don't know
what's gonna happen,
705
00:42:43,577 --> 00:42:45,204
and that's the point
of being with me.
706
00:42:45,913 --> 00:42:48,623
If you wanna have babies
and remodel your bathroom,
707
00:42:48,749 --> 00:42:52,127
then, please go.
Do. Nest.
708
00:42:54,422 --> 00:42:56,590
If you wanna do X on
a beach in Cambodia
709
00:42:56,715 --> 00:42:58,842
with three strangers in drag...
710
00:43:00,761 --> 00:43:06,183
I'm not saying it's gonna
happen, but it could.
711
00:43:11,313 --> 00:43:12,773
I love Cambodia.
712
00:43:14,191 --> 00:43:15,609
Me too.
713
00:43:24,285 --> 00:43:27,162
Chapman, you blinked.
Vause wins.
714
00:43:27,288 --> 00:43:28,747
Yo, you seen her yet?
715
00:43:28,830 --> 00:43:29,873
Who?
716
00:43:30,249 --> 00:43:32,960
Princess Stephanie of Monaco.
Your roommate.
717
00:43:34,044 --> 00:43:36,630
Lorna drove her back up,
you haven't heard?
718
00:43:36,713 --> 00:43:40,551
Her appeal went kaput. Better sleep
with both eyes open tonight.
719
00:43:42,844 --> 00:43:44,305
Oh, shit.
720
00:43:51,228 --> 00:43:54,689
Inmate, where's your badge?
Inmate, I'm talking to you.
721
00:43:54,815 --> 00:43:58,277
That nail polish is non-regulation, too.
Where did you get that?
722
00:43:58,360 --> 00:44:01,530
I said, where did you get that?
723
00:44:09,371 --> 00:44:10,747
Take your hands
off her, Pelage.
724
00:44:14,585 --> 00:44:15,919
You're headed to Max, inmate.
725
00:44:17,004 --> 00:44:18,005
Doesn't matter.
726
00:44:22,092 --> 00:44:23,636
Get up. Get up!
727
00:44:26,013 --> 00:44:27,055
Come on, you.
728
00:44:36,690 --> 00:44:37,691
What we lookin' at?
729
00:44:37,858 --> 00:44:39,026
Taystee?
730
00:44:51,163 --> 00:44:53,790
You ain't got to
be alone no more.
731
00:44:55,626 --> 00:44:56,709
What is this?
732
00:44:56,835 --> 00:44:59,338
This is me never having
to make mac and cheese
733
00:44:59,421 --> 00:45:01,173
in the common room
microwave again.
734
00:45:01,256 --> 00:45:02,696
It smells like
a salmon farted in it.
735
00:45:02,841 --> 00:45:04,761
You don't know when Miss
Claudette is coming back.
736
00:45:04,801 --> 00:45:08,763
You put your hand on a guard, you
go to Max, you don't come back.
737
00:45:08,889 --> 00:45:10,516
Everybody know that.
738
00:45:10,891 --> 00:45:14,269
We goin' to my bunk, where
Book of Eli never happened.
739
00:45:17,481 --> 00:45:18,649
Hey!
740
00:45:19,941 --> 00:45:21,151
Hey, I get the blanket.
741
00:45:21,318 --> 00:45:22,903
Well, look at you, Miss Thing.
742
00:45:24,905 --> 00:45:29,910
I was her roommate. I took her
shit and I listened to her snore.
743
00:45:30,911 --> 00:45:33,247
The blanket is mine.
744
00:45:33,914 --> 00:45:34,998
I've got three of them.
745
00:45:35,708 --> 00:45:38,502
Kill, Little Boo, kill!
746
00:45:41,672 --> 00:45:43,465
We're working on it.
747
00:45:45,551 --> 00:45:46,885
Good girl.
748
00:46:16,707 --> 00:46:17,874
You wanna talk about it?
749
00:46:18,791 --> 00:46:20,001
Not really.
750
00:46:21,002 --> 00:46:22,363
I have to give
you a titty-twister,
751
00:46:22,379 --> 00:46:23,859
you'll be feelin'
that shit next week.
752
00:46:25,466 --> 00:46:27,468
What they don't tell
you when you get out?
753
00:46:27,593 --> 00:46:29,762
They gonna be up
your ass like the KGB.
754
00:46:29,844 --> 00:46:33,223
Curfew every night, piss in
a cup whenever they say,
755
00:46:33,307 --> 00:46:36,977
you gotta do three job interviews in
a week for jobs you never gonna get.
756
00:46:37,519 --> 00:46:40,314
Probation officer callin'
every minute, checkin' up.
757
00:46:40,773 --> 00:46:43,066
Man, at least in jail
you get dinner.
758
00:46:46,278 --> 00:46:47,655
Ow, man!
What the fuck?
759
00:46:47,738 --> 00:46:49,498
Man, where do you
think you at, Paris Hilton?
760
00:46:50,532 --> 00:46:52,825
Yo, it's bitches in
here doing 15 years
761
00:46:52,909 --> 00:46:54,949
for lettin' their boyfriends
do deals in the kitchen
762
00:46:54,995 --> 00:46:58,081
'cause they was afraid of
getting beat if they said no.
763
00:46:58,165 --> 00:47:00,645
And there's bitches ain't seen
their kids since they was babies,
764
00:47:00,668 --> 00:47:02,670
and them kids got
they own babies now,
765
00:47:02,795 --> 00:47:05,115
or they're runnin' around the
street carryin' guns and shit,
766
00:47:05,172 --> 00:47:07,215
no one watching over 'em.
767
00:47:07,424 --> 00:47:12,304
Yo, I been in here two years
and I got four more.
768
00:47:13,180 --> 00:47:15,683
Eight months ago when
I was waxin' fuckin'
769
00:47:15,766 --> 00:47:18,935
floors in the cafeteria,
my moms passed.
770
00:47:20,479 --> 00:47:22,230
And I wasn't there to say
the shit you supposed to say
771
00:47:22,356 --> 00:47:23,856
to your mom before she gone.
772
00:47:24,191 --> 00:47:26,819
So I know you ain't tellin'
me in my face right now
773
00:47:26,901 --> 00:47:28,445
that you walked
back in this place
774
00:47:28,529 --> 00:47:30,863
'cause freedom was
inconvenient for you?
775
00:47:30,989 --> 00:47:34,535
It ain't like that, P. Minimum
wage is some kinda joke.
776
00:47:34,660 --> 00:47:36,370
I got part-time
workin' at Pizza Hut,
777
00:47:36,453 --> 00:47:39,540
and I still owe the prison
$900 in fees I gotta pay back.
778
00:47:40,374 --> 00:47:42,543
I ain't got no place to stay.
779
00:47:42,875 --> 00:47:47,422
I was sleepin' on the floor in my
second cousin apartment like a dog,
780
00:47:47,880 --> 00:47:50,801
and she still got six
people in two rooms.
781
00:47:50,883 --> 00:47:54,555
One of the bitches stole my check.
I got lice.
782
00:47:54,680 --> 00:47:58,891
Everyone I know is poor,
in jail, or gone.
783
00:48:00,310 --> 00:48:03,104
Don't nobody ask
about how my day went.
784
00:48:03,230 --> 00:48:05,898
Man, I got fucked up
in the head, you know?
785
00:48:08,736 --> 00:48:10,696
I know how to play it here.
786
00:48:10,779 --> 00:48:14,241
Where to be, and what
rules to follow.
787
00:48:16,117 --> 00:48:17,661
I got a bed.
788
00:48:19,079 --> 00:48:20,955
And I got you.
789
00:48:22,624 --> 00:48:23,834
I really missed you.
790
00:48:28,921 --> 00:48:31,174
I didn't mean to let you down.
791
00:48:39,600 --> 00:48:43,186
So what did you do to land
yourself back in here?
792
00:48:43,604 --> 00:48:49,150
Well, first, I got a can
of Rockstar and 100 paper clips.
793
00:48:54,114 --> 00:48:56,575
I found it in the shed
behind Electrical.
794
00:48:57,409 --> 00:49:00,287
If they see us with that, we
both go straight to the SHU.
795
00:49:00,704 --> 00:49:02,706
So don't let them see us.
796
00:49:03,916 --> 00:49:05,958
What kind of voltage are
we talking about here?
797
00:49:06,376 --> 00:49:09,254
No idea. That's what
makes it exciting.
798
00:49:10,672 --> 00:49:13,216
You don't wanna
do it, that's cool.
799
00:49:13,341 --> 00:49:15,928
We just go back to our
regular, prison lives.
800
00:49:16,678 --> 00:49:19,807
Work, sleep, count.
801
00:49:32,319 --> 00:49:35,238
Shit. Oh, my God!
Wait, come on, Jones.
802
00:49:41,912 --> 00:49:47,542
Oh, man! I didn't think it was like that.
Shit. I'm sorry.
803
00:49:49,252 --> 00:49:51,045
No, it's cool.
804
00:49:52,339 --> 00:49:56,384
I feel good.
I feel better.
805
00:49:58,929 --> 00:50:00,180
You're serious?
806
00:50:01,515 --> 00:50:02,850
I kind of needed that.
807
00:50:07,688 --> 00:50:09,940
Here, you gonna go?
808
00:50:14,611 --> 00:50:18,657
You ready to get dunked? I got
towels so don't worry about that.
809
00:50:19,115 --> 00:50:23,578
Oh, God, the baptism thing.
You were serious.
810
00:50:23,912 --> 00:50:26,915
What about me makes you think
I wouldn't be serious?
811
00:50:27,415 --> 00:50:29,376
Good point. Uh...
812
00:50:29,668 --> 00:50:31,712
I have visitation today.
It's Larry's day.
813
00:50:31,837 --> 00:50:34,339
Or was. We haven't talked but I'm
really hoping he'll be there.
814
00:50:34,422 --> 00:50:37,217
So just go after.
This takes a few minutes.
815
00:50:37,300 --> 00:50:40,178
And that's not a lot of time to get
your ticket to the Kingdom of Heaven,
816
00:50:40,261 --> 00:50:44,349
which is forever
and ever, amen.
817
00:50:47,602 --> 00:50:49,354
Wow.
818
00:50:49,437 --> 00:50:53,233
That was a sign. I think
he's back on my side.
819
00:50:55,151 --> 00:50:56,862
How did you sleep, Tiffany?
820
00:50:56,945 --> 00:50:58,070
Who's askin'?
821
00:50:58,196 --> 00:50:59,447
I'm your lawyer.
822
00:50:59,573 --> 00:51:02,173
You ain't my lawyer. My lawyer is
fat and his name is Wesley Weeks.
823
00:51:02,200 --> 00:51:04,202
Wesley Weeks is a
C-minus public defender
824
00:51:04,285 --> 00:51:06,580
who will plead you out without
even looking at your file.
825
00:51:06,663 --> 00:51:09,290
I think you'll find that the Christian
firm of Turro, Payne and Whorton
826
00:51:09,416 --> 00:51:10,896
will serve your
interests much better.
827
00:51:12,753 --> 00:51:13,993
You're gonna get
me out of jail?
828
00:51:14,004 --> 00:51:16,256
Well, if you shoot somebody in
broad daylight, with witnesses,
829
00:51:16,381 --> 00:51:17,966
you're gonna do some
time, that's a fact.
830
00:51:18,090 --> 00:51:21,261
But, I will see
that you do less time.
831
00:51:21,720 --> 00:51:23,263
Couple of
procedural challenges,
832
00:51:23,346 --> 00:51:24,765
plus we're gonna
argue that you did
833
00:51:24,848 --> 00:51:26,600
what you did based on
the moral conviction
834
00:51:26,725 --> 00:51:28,518
that you were saving lives.
835
00:51:28,602 --> 00:51:31,939
Defenseless, innocent lives.
I didn't...
836
00:51:33,398 --> 00:51:35,067
I can't afford a fancy lawyer.
837
00:51:35,233 --> 00:51:36,860
My fees have
already been settled.
838
00:51:36,944 --> 00:51:39,446
And there's a small monthly
stipend going to your family,
839
00:51:39,571 --> 00:51:41,491
to help them while their
daughter serves her time.
840
00:51:42,908 --> 00:51:44,116
How's this being paid for?
841
00:51:44,993 --> 00:51:46,745
By the grace of God.
842
00:51:47,495 --> 00:51:50,457
And also, all your friends.
843
00:51:52,166 --> 00:51:53,293
Good God!
844
00:51:59,091 --> 00:52:01,760
Order in the court. I want
order in this courtroom!
845
00:52:03,845 --> 00:52:05,472
All of you, sit down!
846
00:52:16,984 --> 00:52:19,151
Look, I understand that
this is important to you,
847
00:52:19,277 --> 00:52:20,988
but I don't think...
College?
848
00:52:22,656 --> 00:52:24,032
Don't let me down.
849
00:52:26,158 --> 00:52:28,787
Okay, fine.
Fine, I have 10 minutes.
850
00:52:29,496 --> 00:52:30,538
Perfect.
851
00:52:31,372 --> 00:52:32,415
Running...
852
00:52:33,333 --> 00:52:36,128
I really fucking
needed this, Bennett.
853
00:52:36,252 --> 00:52:37,337
Just doing my job, sir.
854
00:52:37,462 --> 00:52:39,673
This is the kind of
thing I remember when
855
00:52:39,798 --> 00:52:42,134
it's time to move
somebody up the ladder.
856
00:52:42,216 --> 00:52:46,805
That kitchen Commie cunt
is finally going down.
857
00:52:48,974 --> 00:52:50,224
Oh, man!
858
00:52:51,601 --> 00:52:52,644
Beautiful!
859
00:52:56,773 --> 00:52:58,358
I have a whole life
in front of me.
860
00:52:58,525 --> 00:53:02,487
I don't want to spend it
watching "Storage Wars"
861
00:53:03,155 --> 00:53:05,657
She's bored. You should
take her out more.
862
00:53:05,824 --> 00:53:07,826
Well, maybe I would take her out more
if she didn't flirt with other men.
863
00:53:08,994 --> 00:53:10,871
Have you been
acting like a slut?
864
00:53:11,579 --> 00:53:13,123
I have a body!
865
00:53:13,247 --> 00:53:15,750
I can't help it if people look.
866
00:53:15,959 --> 00:53:18,545
She says it's not her fault
if other people look at her.
867
00:53:18,670 --> 00:53:20,005
Maybe you're too jealous.
868
00:53:20,421 --> 00:53:22,465
All I want is a nice quiet
life, is that so much to ask?
869
00:53:23,675 --> 00:53:25,635
He wants peace and quiet.
870
00:53:27,345 --> 00:53:30,098
He's got a
government job, dummy.
871
00:53:30,348 --> 00:53:31,933
It could be much worse.
872
00:53:35,729 --> 00:53:38,565
His toenails scratch me in bed.
873
00:53:39,900 --> 00:53:41,735
Okay, you have to
get a pedicure.
874
00:53:41,860 --> 00:53:43,820
The long toenails are a problem.
875
00:53:45,739 --> 00:53:46,865
Caputo wants to see you.
876
00:53:47,157 --> 00:53:49,576
I'm busy. I'd go
now if I were you.
877
00:53:53,663 --> 00:53:55,707
That little bitch Mendez.
878
00:53:57,584 --> 00:53:59,627
Couldn't go down like a man.
879
00:53:59,794 --> 00:54:01,295
I'm confused here.
880
00:54:04,340 --> 00:54:07,635
If it goes bad,
take care of my girls.
881
00:54:09,512 --> 00:54:11,263
Bennett, explain
this immediately.
882
00:54:13,600 --> 00:54:14,640
Bennett!
883
00:54:14,726 --> 00:54:17,562
I need to talk about
grocery money.
884
00:54:21,108 --> 00:54:22,234
Behold!
885
00:54:22,358 --> 00:54:26,071
I bring the lost
sheep back to the 99.
886
00:54:26,446 --> 00:54:29,532
All right, as you know, we don't
have a river to dunk you in,
887
00:54:29,616 --> 00:54:31,409
but we cleaned
out the muck sink.
888
00:54:31,492 --> 00:54:33,828
And yeah, you might just
wanna take off your shirt.
889
00:54:33,995 --> 00:54:36,206
Okay! Nope, see,
I can't do this.
890
00:54:36,288 --> 00:54:37,540
I'm sorry.
891
00:54:37,624 --> 00:54:39,542
I really want us to get
along, I do, but I can't
892
00:54:39,626 --> 00:54:41,002
pretend to believe
in something I don't.
893
00:54:41,128 --> 00:54:42,754
And I don't.
894
00:54:42,921 --> 00:54:45,048
Chapman, we've all
had our doubts.
895
00:54:45,215 --> 00:54:47,299
No, see, this isn't doubts.
896
00:54:47,926 --> 00:54:51,805
I believe in science,
I believe in evolution.
897
00:54:51,972 --> 00:54:53,098
I believe in Nate Silver
898
00:54:53,181 --> 00:54:55,142
and Neil deGrasse Tyson
and Christopher Hitchens,
899
00:54:55,225 --> 00:54:57,309
although I do admit, he could
be kind of an asshole.
900
00:54:58,770 --> 00:55:00,354
I cannot get behind
some supreme being
901
00:55:00,480 --> 00:55:01,856
who weighs in on
the Tony Awards
902
00:55:01,982 --> 00:55:03,862
while a million people
get wacked with machetes.
903
00:55:03,942 --> 00:55:05,944
I don't believe a billion
Indians are going to hell,
904
00:55:06,027 --> 00:55:08,320
I don't think we get cancer
to learn life lessons,
905
00:55:08,446 --> 00:55:10,047
and I don't believe
that people die young
906
00:55:10,073 --> 00:55:11,491
because God
needs another angel.
907
00:55:11,616 --> 00:55:14,452
I think it's just bullshit, and on
some level, I think we all know that.
908
00:55:14,535 --> 00:55:15,829
I mean, don't you?
909
00:55:17,038 --> 00:55:19,457
The angel thing does
seem kind of desperate.
910
00:55:20,208 --> 00:55:21,368
I thought you was a Christian.
911
00:55:22,502 --> 00:55:25,505
I am, but I got some questions.
912
00:55:28,466 --> 00:55:31,552
Look, I understand
that religion makes it easier
913
00:55:31,678 --> 00:55:35,347
to deal with all of the random
shitty things that happen to us.
914
00:55:36,599 --> 00:55:40,645
And I wish I could get on that
ride, I'm sure I would be happier.
915
00:55:43,106 --> 00:55:44,191
But I can't.
916
00:55:45,483 --> 00:55:49,196
Feelings aren't enough.
I need it to be real.
917
00:55:49,946 --> 00:55:51,323
I gotta go.
918
00:55:51,572 --> 00:55:53,407
I tried to be your friend.
919
00:55:54,450 --> 00:55:56,744
I hope he makes you very happy.
920
00:55:58,579 --> 00:55:59,873
Excuse me.
921
00:56:02,292 --> 00:56:03,375
Hello?
922
00:56:03,501 --> 00:56:05,003
I'm looking for
Natalie Figueroa.
923
00:56:05,086 --> 00:56:06,213
You found her.
924
00:56:06,338 --> 00:56:07,714
Ms. Figueroa,
this is Andrew Nance
925
00:56:07,797 --> 00:56:10,050
calling from The City Post,
online edition.
926
00:56:10,175 --> 00:56:13,385
I recently caught a public radio
interview with Larry Bloom.
927
00:56:13,469 --> 00:56:16,890
He's engaged to a Litchfield
inmate named Piper Chapman?
928
00:56:17,057 --> 00:56:19,142
I'm sorry, I've never
heard of this person.
929
00:56:19,226 --> 00:56:20,894
Oh. Well in his interview,
930
00:56:20,977 --> 00:56:23,271
Mr. Bloom mentioned some cutbacks
at Litchfield this year.
931
00:56:23,395 --> 00:56:26,274
The closing of the track, for instance,
the GED program shutting down,
932
00:56:26,398 --> 00:56:28,902
medications switched to generics,
those kinds of things.
933
00:56:29,027 --> 00:56:31,748
All of which seem to have been
attributed to budgetary considerations?
934
00:56:31,863 --> 00:56:34,241
Well, we do the best
with what we've got,
935
00:56:34,366 --> 00:56:36,659
but there's always a bottom
line to consider, obviously.
936
00:56:36,826 --> 00:56:38,619
I understand that, obviously.
937
00:56:38,745 --> 00:56:41,581
But, I did some digging into the
budget allocation for New York
938
00:56:41,706 --> 00:56:43,917
and as it turns out, Litchfield
actually got an increase
939
00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:47,461
over the last five
years of $2.3 million.
940
00:56:48,922 --> 00:56:52,050
So, what I'm wondering is,
where did all that money go?
941
00:56:54,635 --> 00:56:56,428
I'll have to look into that.
942
00:56:56,637 --> 00:56:58,037
As I understand it,
you're in charge
943
00:56:58,098 --> 00:56:59,431
of day-to-day
operations at the prison...
944
00:56:59,557 --> 00:57:01,517
I said I'd look into it.
945
00:57:14,614 --> 00:57:16,448
I'm really glad
that you're here.
946
00:57:21,621 --> 00:57:23,831
Listen, neither of us understood
how crazy this was gonna be.
947
00:57:23,957 --> 00:57:25,875
We thought, "Sure,
we'll get married after."
948
00:57:25,959 --> 00:57:27,919
Like, we were just gonna
pick up where we left off.
949
00:57:30,130 --> 00:57:34,550
But, Piper, this, this is
changing you, it's changing me.
950
00:57:36,844 --> 00:57:38,263
You didn't ask for any of this.
951
00:57:38,512 --> 00:57:41,433
No. But we're here.
952
00:57:43,643 --> 00:57:45,770
It's messy and weird
953
00:57:46,854 --> 00:57:50,858
and we're gonna do stupid and
lonely and embarrassing shit.
954
00:57:50,984 --> 00:57:54,154
And either we
can do it together,
955
00:57:54,237 --> 00:57:56,656
get married, now,
in this room, possibly,
956
00:57:56,739 --> 00:57:58,179
as soon as we can
file the paperwork,
957
00:57:58,199 --> 00:58:01,535
and do it as
husband and wife or...
958
00:58:08,335 --> 00:58:09,419
Or we have to break up.
959
00:58:09,502 --> 00:58:12,005
Because this thing that we're
doing now, this in-between?
960
00:58:13,798 --> 00:58:14,841
I can't.
961
00:58:18,052 --> 00:58:19,262
So,
962
00:58:22,849 --> 00:58:24,600
what do you say?
963
00:58:29,563 --> 00:58:31,358
You know what I got to do.
964
00:58:31,441 --> 00:58:32,900
Hmm? Hmm?
965
00:58:33,026 --> 00:58:34,486
She disrespected me.
966
00:58:34,735 --> 00:58:36,654
Mmm-hmm.
Mmm-hmm.
967
00:58:37,280 --> 00:58:38,698
Now,
968
00:58:39,740 --> 00:58:42,035
I'm gonna have to kill her.
969
00:58:42,535 --> 00:58:53,082
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com