1
00:00:02,857 --> 00:00:04,900
(THEME SONG PLAYING)

2
00:01:00,347 --> 00:01:11,269
<font color="#ec14bd">Sync & corrections by honeybunny</font>
<font color="#ec14bd">www.addic7ed.com</font>

3
00:01:17,723 --> 00:01:19,015
Thank you so much.

4
00:01:19,767 --> 00:01:23,353
Where in the Nativity story are
we supposed to fit a juggler?

5
00:01:23,479 --> 00:01:25,648
You said you'd
keep an open mind.

6
00:01:25,773 --> 00:01:27,107
- There are more ways to celebrate the birth
- (SIGHS)

7
00:01:27,190 --> 00:01:28,983
of Christ besides
singin' <i>Joy to the World.</i>

8
00:01:29,151 --> 00:01:30,235
CHAPLAIN: Ladies.

9
00:01:30,319 --> 00:01:33,113
After the auditions, I was planning
to leave the show in your hands.

10
00:01:33,196 --> 00:01:34,949
But if you can't get along,
I will take it back

11
00:01:35,031 --> 00:01:36,533
and the pageant
will be two carols,

12
00:01:36,659 --> 00:01:39,161
- the lady who juggles, and good night.
- (SIGHS)

13
00:01:39,870 --> 00:01:41,163
We'll be fine.

14
00:01:41,288 --> 00:01:43,039
Of course, Chaplain.

15
00:01:43,457 --> 00:01:44,541
Who's next?

16
00:01:44,667 --> 00:01:46,502
(HIP-HOP CHRISTMAS CAROL
PLAYING)

17
00:01:51,507 --> 00:01:53,968
So a penguin and a farmer
walk into a bar...

18
00:01:54,050 --> 00:01:55,385
(YELLS)

19
00:01:55,511 --> 00:01:57,596
(CHRISTMAS RAP MUSIC PLAYING)

20
00:02:00,683 --> 00:02:02,184
This is a duck.

21
00:02:02,768 --> 00:02:04,102
(IMITATES DUCK)

22
00:02:04,186 --> 00:02:06,355
This is a dolphin.

23
00:02:06,689 --> 00:02:08,691
(IMITATES DOLPHIN)

24
00:02:10,025 --> 00:02:11,527
This is a goose.

25
00:02:11,694 --> 00:02:15,698
<i>Hark the Herald angels sing</i>

26
00:02:15,823 --> 00:02:19,660
<i>Glory to the newborn King</i>

27
00:02:19,743 --> 00:02:23,038
<i>Tidings of comfort and joy</i>
<i>Comfort and...</i>

28
00:02:23,205 --> 00:02:28,836
<i>Joy to the world,</i>
<i>the Lord has come</i>

29
00:02:29,044 --> 00:02:30,880
(BEATBOXING)

30
00:02:36,635 --> 00:02:38,888
(HUMMING <i>JINGLE BELLS)</i>

31
00:02:45,310 --> 00:02:46,687
Here we go.

32
00:02:48,898 --> 00:02:50,649
(CHRISTMAS RAP MUSIC PLAYING)

33
00:02:57,239 --> 00:03:01,911
<i>Dashin' through the snow</i>
<i>In a one horse open sleigh</i>

34
00:03:02,036 --> 00:03:05,831
<i>O'er the fields we go</i>
<i>Laughin' all the way</i>

35
00:03:05,915 --> 00:03:06,916
<i>Ha! Ha! Ha!</i>

36
00:03:07,041 --> 00:03:11,085
<i>Go, tell it on the mountain</i>

37
00:03:11,211 --> 00:03:15,007
<i>Over the hills and everywhere</i>

38
00:03:15,089 --> 00:03:19,053
<i>Go. Go, tell it</i>
<i>on the mountain...</i>

39
00:03:19,261 --> 00:03:20,763
(CHRISTMAS RAP MUSIC PLAYING)

40
00:03:26,435 --> 00:03:27,895
(EXHALES)

41
00:03:27,978 --> 00:03:30,272
(HUMMING <i>JINGLE BELLS)</i>

42
00:03:34,026 --> 00:03:37,279
Merry Christmas.
(BEATBOXING) Happy Hanukkah.

43
00:03:37,571 --> 00:03:38,572
(HUMMING <i>JINGLE BELLS)</i>

44
00:03:38,655 --> 00:03:39,865
Don't forget Kwanzaa.

45
00:03:39,990 --> 00:03:41,575
(CHRISTMAS RAP MUSIC PLAYING)

46
00:03:42,076 --> 00:03:43,077
(CHUCKLES)

47
00:03:43,159 --> 00:03:45,287
Watch out, old Jesus is back!

48
00:03:45,454 --> 00:03:46,496
Black Cindy!

49
00:03:47,664 --> 00:03:48,832
(IMITATES BIRD)

50
00:03:48,958 --> 00:03:51,585
I can sing, too. You know, in
addition to the ice skating.

51
00:03:51,710 --> 00:03:58,467
And so the penguin says, "Dude, he's
not an eggplant, he's retarded."

52
00:03:59,051 --> 00:04:00,636
(BOTH LAUGHING)

53
00:04:03,013 --> 00:04:04,807
It lost me at the umbrellas.

54
00:04:06,100 --> 00:04:12,147
"Be not afraid, for behold, I
bring good tidings of great joy."

55
00:04:12,481 --> 00:04:13,523
Thank you, Doggett.

56
00:04:14,232 --> 00:04:16,068
I assume by your
choice of material,

57
00:04:16,151 --> 00:04:18,153
you're interested in
the part of an angel?

58
00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:19,529
Yes, ma'am.
That's correct,

59
00:04:19,655 --> 00:04:22,491
because last year I was up
on this stage as the ox,

60
00:04:22,574 --> 00:04:24,660
and the year before
that I was the ass.

61
00:04:24,785 --> 00:04:26,369
And so, I dunno about y'all,
but I'm really startin'

62
00:04:26,495 --> 00:04:28,656
to feel like you're tryin'
to assassinate my character.

63
00:04:28,664 --> 00:04:30,040
'Cause I know that I am ready

64
00:04:30,165 --> 00:04:32,334
to shine my light
for the shepherds

65
00:04:32,417 --> 00:04:37,965
and announce across the land the
miracle of baby Jesus Christ.

66
00:04:40,509 --> 00:04:44,013
Mr. Healy, I know that
I said a lot of things.

67
00:04:44,138 --> 00:04:45,263
What do you want, Chapman?

68
00:04:45,347 --> 00:04:47,182
I need a marriage request form.

69
00:04:48,642 --> 00:04:52,187
You need a form
and my approval,

70
00:04:52,270 --> 00:04:53,689
which you don't have.

71
00:04:53,772 --> 00:04:54,898
Please, Mr. Healy.

72
00:04:55,024 --> 00:04:56,566
Marriage is a privilege.

73
00:04:56,692 --> 00:04:58,735
You are not entitled to it.

74
00:05:00,195 --> 00:05:05,408
And to use one of your own delightful
phrases, "Go fuck yourself."

75
00:05:08,328 --> 00:05:09,454
(CRUNCHING)

76
00:05:14,209 --> 00:05:15,585
Yup.

77
00:05:19,131 --> 00:05:21,800
What part of "out of
the kitchen effective

78
00:05:21,884 --> 00:05:23,927
"immediately" did
you not understand?

79
00:05:24,053 --> 00:05:27,723
Without my produce order, I have
to re-plan the whole holiday menu.

80
00:05:27,848 --> 00:05:29,088
I can't sit on
the bench all day

81
00:05:29,183 --> 00:05:31,060
while you play out
this little power trip.

82
00:05:31,143 --> 00:05:33,103
We'll all be eating
sardines for Christmas.

83
00:05:33,227 --> 00:05:35,229
You're gonna be
eating prison loaf

84
00:05:35,313 --> 00:05:38,692
when I drag you to Seg by that
purple pelt on your head.

85
00:05:39,359 --> 00:05:42,612
Now, have some self-respect
and don't make me do it.

86
00:05:45,115 --> 00:05:46,742
It feels serious in here.

87
00:05:46,825 --> 00:05:49,536
It smells good, though.
What kind of soup is that?

88
00:05:49,619 --> 00:05:51,955
Navy bean.
I'll save you a bowl.

89
00:05:52,206 --> 00:05:55,042
Gloria, you are reassigned
to the kitchen.

90
00:05:57,086 --> 00:06:01,464
Head cook, queen bee.
You start now.

91
00:06:04,801 --> 00:06:05,928
Can I bring my people?

92
00:06:06,095 --> 00:06:08,097
Whatever you need to do.

93
00:06:08,597 --> 00:06:10,099
Get the forms from O'Neill.

94
00:06:10,557 --> 00:06:12,475
This is bullshit
and you know it.

95
00:06:12,601 --> 00:06:14,728
This whole place will
fall apart when I'm gone.

96
00:06:14,811 --> 00:06:16,105
- Let's go.
- (GRUNTS)

97
00:06:20,442 --> 00:06:23,570
BENNETT: No, originally from Poughkeepsie,
well, outside of Poughkeepsie.

98
00:06:23,653 --> 00:06:24,696
(CHUCKLES)

99
00:06:24,780 --> 00:06:25,822
Go on.

100
00:06:25,948 --> 00:06:27,032
So, after the
tragedy with Miller,

101
00:06:27,116 --> 00:06:29,659
I was determined to find out if drugs
were in fact coming into the prison.

102
00:06:29,785 --> 00:06:32,121
I thought, um...
I had a hunch.

103
00:06:32,246 --> 00:06:34,726
So when the vegetable truck pulled
up, I went through the boxes.

104
00:06:34,748 --> 00:06:35,958
Let me stop you there.

105
00:06:36,041 --> 00:06:37,751
So, you went through
the boxes before they

106
00:06:37,834 --> 00:06:39,502
actually came
onto the property?

107
00:06:39,628 --> 00:06:41,255
That's correct.
At the gate.

108
00:06:41,463 --> 00:06:44,633
So you didn't find drugs in the
kitchen or on prison grounds?

109
00:06:45,092 --> 00:06:47,343
No, ma'am, the pills were
in a box of cabbage,

110
00:06:47,469 --> 00:06:48,762
and I brought them
straight to Caputo.

111
00:06:48,845 --> 00:06:49,888
Okay.

112
00:06:49,972 --> 00:06:52,182
Well, Bennett.

113
00:06:53,016 --> 00:06:54,101
Uh, John?

114
00:06:54,851 --> 00:06:55,978
Yeah.

115
00:06:57,311 --> 00:07:02,358
John, your intentions
were so good here,

116
00:07:02,484 --> 00:07:04,153
but from what
you're telling me,

117
00:07:04,278 --> 00:07:07,781
Neptune's Produce didn't
bring drugs into the prison.

118
00:07:07,864 --> 00:07:09,158
You did.

119
00:07:09,283 --> 00:07:10,575
(SCOFFS)

120
00:07:10,867 --> 00:07:12,535
(STAMMERS) What are you
talkin' about?

121
00:07:12,661 --> 00:07:16,623
You just said that you found
the drugs in the cabbage

122
00:07:16,706 --> 00:07:19,751
before the truck
pulled onto the campus,

123
00:07:19,835 --> 00:07:22,171
and then you brought
them to Caputo.

124
00:07:22,337 --> 00:07:24,214
- That's right, but...
- John,

125
00:07:25,340 --> 00:07:28,426
you are one of the good guys.
I know that.

126
00:07:28,677 --> 00:07:31,054
So, I want to protect you.

127
00:07:31,180 --> 00:07:34,183
I think it's best if you don't
fill out a report on this.

128
00:07:34,474 --> 00:07:36,643
But they were going
to the kitchen.

129
00:07:36,810 --> 00:07:38,020
It's not like the truck
was making stops

130
00:07:38,103 --> 00:07:39,938
between the front gate
and the loading dock.

131
00:07:40,022 --> 00:07:41,190
We don't know that.

132
00:07:41,982 --> 00:07:43,900
- Of course we do.
- Bennett,

133
00:07:44,359 --> 00:07:47,612
I am so impressed by
how you've handled things.

134
00:07:48,363 --> 00:07:51,116
And you know what? I am going
to authorize incentive pay.

135
00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:54,953
That's an extra $130 a month.

136
00:07:55,162 --> 00:07:56,621
- Thank you, but...
- Now...

137
00:07:56,705 --> 00:07:57,706
Hmm.

138
00:07:57,789 --> 00:08:01,168
You go do your job and let
me take it from here.

139
00:08:01,335 --> 00:08:02,544
Okay, John?

140
00:08:05,380 --> 00:08:07,590
- Howard, Larry's here!
- Hey, Pop.

141
00:08:07,716 --> 00:08:08,842
AMY: You want
a cup of decaf?

142
00:08:08,925 --> 00:08:10,886
I have this vanilla
coconut creamer I put in.

143
00:08:11,011 --> 00:08:12,095
It's delicious.
I'll make you one.

144
00:08:12,221 --> 00:08:13,222
- Thanks, Ma.
- Mmm.

145
00:08:13,847 --> 00:08:15,390
You read about this
Google Glass thing?

146
00:08:15,473 --> 00:08:16,808
We're gonna all
look like cyborgs.

147
00:08:17,351 --> 00:08:19,686
Cyborgs? Aren't those your
neighbors down in Florida?

148
00:08:19,811 --> 00:08:21,563
So, to what do we
owe this pleasure?

149
00:08:21,938 --> 00:08:24,316
I went to the movies on
86th, so, I was nearby.

150
00:08:24,399 --> 00:08:25,901
- Anything good?
- Nah.

151
00:08:25,984 --> 00:08:27,505
AMY: My friends
loved your radio thing.

152
00:08:27,569 --> 00:08:29,821
Everyone was talking
about it at mahjong.

153
00:08:29,905 --> 00:08:32,782
Did Piper enjoy it? I never
got the full report from you.

154
00:08:32,908 --> 00:08:35,911
Uh, she had some
issues with it.

155
00:08:36,036 --> 00:08:38,872
But, uh, we talked
them through.

156
00:08:39,873 --> 00:08:43,043
And then we kept talking and
at the end of our talk,

157
00:08:43,168 --> 00:08:45,754
we decided that we were gonna
get married right away.

158
00:08:45,837 --> 00:08:48,215
While she's still in there.

159
00:08:48,298 --> 00:08:49,591
As soon as possible.

160
00:08:49,716 --> 00:08:51,134
So...

161
00:08:53,178 --> 00:08:55,764
That's really the full
report, since you asked.

162
00:09:00,977 --> 00:09:03,105
I think this is the longest you
two have ever been silent.

163
00:09:03,188 --> 00:09:04,814
Why are you rushing this?

164
00:09:04,940 --> 00:09:07,442
I want to start my life, Ma.

165
00:09:07,567 --> 00:09:09,611
I want to know that
we are committed

166
00:09:09,694 --> 00:09:11,613
and that our commitment
is taken seriously.

167
00:09:11,738 --> 00:09:13,740
So, take it seriously.
You need a paper for that?

168
00:09:14,116 --> 00:09:16,451
You've known we were getting married, Dad.
This is not new information.

169
00:09:16,576 --> 00:09:19,246
The point is that Piper is
spending a year in an institution.

170
00:09:19,329 --> 00:09:21,706
You can't tell what she's gonna
be like when she gets out.

171
00:09:21,790 --> 00:09:23,959
Or when she gets
out, for that matter.

172
00:09:24,042 --> 00:09:25,377
Things are arbitrary in there.

173
00:09:25,460 --> 00:09:27,129
You give someone the wrong
look on the wrong day...

174
00:09:27,254 --> 00:09:28,255
(WHISTLES)

175
00:09:28,338 --> 00:09:30,382
Why don't you just wait and
see how things turn out?

176
00:09:30,465 --> 00:09:32,717
Yeah, if you meet someone else
in the meantime, you'll have...

177
00:09:32,801 --> 00:09:36,972
I don't want to wait and see. I don't
want to meet anyone else, okay?

178
00:09:37,055 --> 00:09:40,058
I love her and I want to spend
the rest of my life with her.

179
00:09:40,142 --> 00:09:41,726
In all her ways.

180
00:09:41,935 --> 00:09:44,104
She's had some
interesting ways so far.

181
00:09:44,187 --> 00:09:46,606
Girl ways. Boy ways. Drug ways.

182
00:09:46,689 --> 00:09:47,816
Ma!

183
00:09:48,150 --> 00:09:52,279
I get it, Larry, she's a natural blonde.
She's exotic for you.

184
00:09:52,988 --> 00:09:56,491
But exotic is for pets and vacations,
it's not for making a life.

185
00:09:57,326 --> 00:10:00,287
You think I'm that shallow?
I know her.

186
00:10:00,454 --> 00:10:02,497
She is exciting,
I'll give you that,

187
00:10:02,580 --> 00:10:04,624
but does she share your values?

188
00:10:04,791 --> 00:10:06,001
Will she be a good mother?

189
00:10:06,084 --> 00:10:08,837
Does she make you feel
good about yourself?

190
00:10:09,421 --> 00:10:10,464
I think so.

191
00:10:10,546 --> 00:10:11,756
Why, you can't remember?

192
00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:14,176
Yes, she does.
Of course she does.

193
00:10:15,177 --> 00:10:19,181
Look, we've been together a long time.
We're invested.

194
00:10:19,348 --> 00:10:21,057
Are you calculating
your opportunity costs

195
00:10:21,183 --> 00:10:22,434
or are you
discussing love here?

196
00:10:22,517 --> 00:10:24,853
AMY: Why don't you just
wait until she gets out?

197
00:10:25,020 --> 00:10:27,814
See if you're still compatible.
Spend some time.

198
00:10:27,897 --> 00:10:29,483
Larry, why are you
in such a hurry?

199
00:10:30,859 --> 00:10:32,235
It's not like
she's going anywhere.

200
00:10:32,361 --> 00:10:34,361
What, are you afraid she's
gonna meet someone else?

201
00:10:37,532 --> 00:10:38,741
(SIGHS)

202
00:10:39,617 --> 00:10:41,703
(WOMAN CHATTERING ON PA)

203
00:10:42,620 --> 00:10:44,789
ALEX: Well, if it isn't
the invisible woman.

204
00:10:44,873 --> 00:10:48,710
One intense talk about the
future and you disappear on me.

205
00:10:49,211 --> 00:10:52,422
Not a shocker, but I had
gotten my hopes up.

206
00:10:56,343 --> 00:10:57,886
I'm getting married.

207
00:10:58,678 --> 00:11:01,431
You've been getting married
since before you got here.

208
00:11:01,931 --> 00:11:03,558
(CHUCKLES)
This is not news.

209
00:11:05,935 --> 00:11:07,561
Say what you really mean.

210
00:11:12,401 --> 00:11:16,279
I pick him.
I pick Larry.

211
00:11:21,826 --> 00:11:23,453
Of course you do.

212
00:11:23,703 --> 00:11:25,455
I love you, too.

213
00:11:28,458 --> 00:11:30,085
But we both know
I don't have the balls

214
00:11:30,210 --> 00:11:31,794
to free fall through
life with you.

215
00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:33,755
No. You don't.

216
00:11:36,383 --> 00:11:38,927
- At least I made a decision, right?
- (SCOFFS)

217
00:11:39,302 --> 00:11:40,554
Aren't you proud of me?

218
00:11:41,930 --> 00:11:43,223
Piper... (SCOFFS)

219
00:11:46,142 --> 00:11:47,269
Fuck you.

220
00:11:47,436 --> 00:11:49,104
- Alex...
- Listen...

221
00:11:50,939 --> 00:11:52,399
Yes.

222
00:11:52,982 --> 00:11:54,317
You have made a decision.

223
00:11:55,026 --> 00:11:57,446
So here is what it
means going forward.

224
00:12:00,115 --> 00:12:04,411
You may not come running to me again.
Not with your problems.

225
00:12:04,578 --> 00:12:06,288
Not with your love.

226
00:12:07,497 --> 00:12:10,459
Not with your need
or sadness or anger,

227
00:12:10,542 --> 00:12:14,212
or even your laundry when it's not
specifically your laundry day.

228
00:12:15,797 --> 00:12:18,425
You may never come to me again.

229
00:12:21,177 --> 00:12:22,471
Ever.

230
00:12:36,359 --> 00:12:38,487
Well, what do you know?

231
00:12:38,652 --> 00:12:40,113
Jesus. What are
you doing here?

232
00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:42,782
Relax, man. Just here to
get my paycheck, shit.

233
00:12:42,865 --> 00:12:44,326
Oh, It's nice to see
you, too, buddy.

234
00:12:44,451 --> 00:12:46,328
Sorry. I'm just... It's
a surprise, I mean.

235
00:12:46,495 --> 00:12:49,164
Spit it out.
Have you seen her?

236
00:12:49,289 --> 00:12:50,582
You gave her my note, right?

237
00:12:50,664 --> 00:12:51,874
I wrote her a letter,
didn't put my name on it.

238
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:53,585
But she'll know who it's from.
She say anything?

239
00:12:53,667 --> 00:12:55,170
- Who?
- Who?

240
00:12:55,295 --> 00:12:59,048
My girl, man! Fuck! Oh, God, I
can't keep my brain off of her!

241
00:12:59,174 --> 00:13:01,593
What do you think you're
gonna do about that?

242
00:13:01,717 --> 00:13:04,846
Man's greatest struggle in life
is to find a woman who's sexy

243
00:13:04,971 --> 00:13:06,556
but, like, still
could be a mom.

244
00:13:06,680 --> 00:13:08,224
She's that, Benny.

245
00:13:08,350 --> 00:13:11,269
I feel like she
could be the one.

246
00:13:11,436 --> 00:13:13,729
You know, I see myself
buying sheets with her.

247
00:13:13,855 --> 00:13:15,607
Taking trips to Mount Rushmore.

248
00:13:15,689 --> 00:13:16,690
That's great.

249
00:13:16,774 --> 00:13:18,734
Oh, she's got
these lips, Jesus!

250
00:13:18,860 --> 00:13:20,445
I had no idea. I always
dated women with thin lips.

251
00:13:20,529 --> 00:13:21,946
It's a fucking revelation.

252
00:13:22,030 --> 00:13:23,365
Isn't something on the
record with you guys now?

253
00:13:23,448 --> 00:13:24,824
I mean, how does that play out?

254
00:13:24,949 --> 00:13:26,201
I dunno, but whatever
it is, she's worth it.

255
00:13:26,284 --> 00:13:28,578
Hey, if you get any info, intel,
insight, fucking call me, all right?

256
00:13:28,702 --> 00:13:30,783
- Happy holidays, man.
- Hey, what about your paycheck?

257
00:13:32,706 --> 00:13:34,792
ANGIE: You know your
lines yet for the pageant?

258
00:13:34,876 --> 00:13:37,253
I dunno. 'Cause I
can't concentrate

259
00:13:37,379 --> 00:13:39,506
with Satan's Girl Scout
skipping around.

260
00:13:39,964 --> 00:13:43,426
I was a Girl Scout.
Troop 247.

261
00:13:43,801 --> 00:13:45,887
(CHUCKLES) They taught
us how to use tampons.

262
00:13:48,223 --> 00:13:52,602
You are still on
probationary term, Leanne.

263
00:13:52,726 --> 00:13:54,521
Don't be talking
about tampons while

264
00:13:54,604 --> 00:13:57,399
I'm sittin' here plottin' my revenge.
Thanks.

265
00:13:58,608 --> 00:14:00,109
Okay, I figured it out.

266
00:14:00,235 --> 00:14:02,237
She don't need God. That
was a misinterpretation.

267
00:14:02,362 --> 00:14:05,240
I went back to my book
to find some answers.

268
00:14:05,323 --> 00:14:07,116
I needed a clear answer.

269
00:14:07,242 --> 00:14:10,579
Luke, 19:27,
Jesus said,

270
00:14:10,704 --> 00:14:12,288
"But those mine enemies,

271
00:14:12,414 --> 00:14:15,375
"which would not that
I should reign over them,

272
00:14:15,458 --> 00:14:19,212
"bring hither, and
slay them before me."

273
00:14:20,088 --> 00:14:23,258
And I found it. I found it.
I turned right to the page.

274
00:14:23,383 --> 00:14:27,136
Now if that ain't a sign,
I don't know what is.

275
00:14:30,265 --> 00:14:33,935
Is it just me, or are these
eggs, like, extra spicy?

276
00:14:34,018 --> 00:14:35,562
My mouth is on fire.

277
00:14:37,439 --> 00:14:40,191
Okay, so, for Secret Santa,

278
00:14:40,275 --> 00:14:44,738
I've got you guys, Red, Norma,
Gina, I'm putting Alex in.

279
00:14:45,614 --> 00:14:47,115
Think we should ask Chapman?

280
00:14:47,198 --> 00:14:49,618
Hmm. I think she'd
give good gifts.

281
00:14:49,867 --> 00:14:53,288
Come on, you guys, Secret Santa
is supposed to be like family.

282
00:14:53,455 --> 00:14:56,249
What, you honestly think
Chapman and Vause are family?

283
00:14:56,332 --> 00:14:57,917
Well, I think it's nice.

284
00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:01,045
We don't have Mercy anymore.
And Tricia.

285
00:15:05,841 --> 00:15:08,970
Let's throw 'em in. Expand the circle.
It's fucking Christmas.

286
00:15:09,137 --> 00:15:12,056
All right. All right. Hey, you
gonna finish those eggs...

287
00:15:12,181 --> 00:15:16,394
No! No! You can't have these.
They're good this morning.

288
00:15:16,561 --> 00:15:18,896
Do not say that to Red.
Whatever you do.

289
00:15:18,980 --> 00:15:22,525
As far as we're concerned,
breakfast was a mess, <i>capisce?</i>

290
00:15:22,692 --> 00:15:24,152
Hmm. Yeah.
Of course.

291
00:15:24,277 --> 00:15:26,488
Sure. But when she gets
back in the kitchen,

292
00:15:26,571 --> 00:15:28,332
could you ask her to
make the eggs like this?

293
00:15:28,364 --> 00:15:30,492
Because they are delicious.

294
00:15:32,076 --> 00:15:33,953
You're both asking
for fuckin' trouble.

295
00:15:34,078 --> 00:15:35,455
(WHIMPERING)

296
00:15:35,538 --> 00:15:39,501
Chapman, hello.
Happy holidays.

297
00:15:39,709 --> 00:15:41,127
Happy holidays.

298
00:15:41,210 --> 00:15:43,087
You are a first time offender

299
00:15:43,171 --> 00:15:46,508
with a short sentence,
and you're white.

300
00:15:47,133 --> 00:15:48,968
Which means there
are a lot of programs

301
00:15:49,051 --> 00:15:50,845
here that you probably
are not aware of,

302
00:15:50,928 --> 00:15:53,014
because you're lucky
enough not to meet them.

303
00:15:53,139 --> 00:15:54,182
I'm sure.

304
00:15:54,307 --> 00:15:55,642
Like the GED program.

305
00:15:55,725 --> 00:15:58,603
We've allocated some funds to
bring that back in the new year.

306
00:15:58,812 --> 00:16:00,438
Well, that's great to hear.

307
00:16:01,147 --> 00:16:03,274
I don't personally
care for talk radio.

308
00:16:03,358 --> 00:16:07,195
The incessant chatting gives me
a migraine, but some people do,

309
00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:09,739
and apparently, some
of these little shows

310
00:16:09,864 --> 00:16:12,492
have fans that write articles.

311
00:16:13,117 --> 00:16:15,787
Oh. This is about
Larry's radio thing.

312
00:16:15,870 --> 00:16:19,332
Yeah. I believe he got
some of the facts wrong.

313
00:16:19,457 --> 00:16:21,710
But, you know,
it's not a news story.

314
00:16:21,835 --> 00:16:27,006
It's more like, um,
storytelling.

315
00:16:27,089 --> 00:16:28,216
Did you listen to it?

316
00:16:28,299 --> 00:16:29,300
No.

317
00:16:31,177 --> 00:16:33,221
So, here's what
I need from you.

318
00:16:33,346 --> 00:16:36,932
On the off chance that there's
a follow-up storytelling,

319
00:16:37,058 --> 00:16:41,771
it would be great if your husband
could be better informed

320
00:16:41,896 --> 00:16:44,232
about all we're trying
to accomplish here.

321
00:16:44,315 --> 00:16:45,859
Here's a list.

322
00:16:47,985 --> 00:16:50,405
(MAN CHATTERING ON PA)

323
00:16:53,533 --> 00:16:54,868
Of course.

324
00:16:56,244 --> 00:16:58,413
I would be happy to make
sure he's up to speed.

325
00:16:59,622 --> 00:17:02,667
I mean, that would only
serve all of us, right?

326
00:17:03,084 --> 00:17:04,085
That's right.

327
00:17:04,168 --> 00:17:05,253
But, you know,

328
00:17:05,336 --> 00:17:08,423
I'm not the only one who's
been talking to Larry.

329
00:17:08,506 --> 00:17:10,633
Counselor Healy
has spoken with him.

330
00:17:11,050 --> 00:17:13,261
Why was Healy speaking
to your husband?

331
00:17:13,678 --> 00:17:15,221
He called to tell him
I was having

332
00:17:15,304 --> 00:17:17,599
a lesbian affair
with another inmate.

333
00:17:18,224 --> 00:17:19,559
Oh, good Christ.

334
00:17:19,642 --> 00:17:21,394
No, no, that's okay.

335
00:17:22,645 --> 00:17:25,899
It's probably just another
case of misinformation.

336
00:17:27,609 --> 00:17:28,902
What's your angle, Chapman?

337
00:17:29,110 --> 00:17:33,281
You know, you keep referring
to Larry as my husband?

338
00:17:33,448 --> 00:17:36,534
But we're not married yet.
Though we do hope to be.

339
00:17:37,159 --> 00:17:40,580
So, that means, I need a
marriage request form,

340
00:17:40,663 --> 00:17:43,875
and, of course, your approval.

341
00:17:45,251 --> 00:17:50,465
And I would be happy to make
sure that my new husband

342
00:17:51,090 --> 00:17:53,843
is up to speed with all of the

343
00:17:55,094 --> 00:17:57,263
great work you're
doing here at Litchfield.

344
00:17:59,599 --> 00:18:02,518
I am sure we could
arrange something.

345
00:18:05,062 --> 00:18:06,981
(INDISTINCT MURMURING)

346
00:18:08,149 --> 00:18:10,902
All of us in the
kitchen, making tamales.

347
00:18:11,653 --> 00:18:13,404
Almost feels like
Christmas at home.

348
00:18:13,529 --> 00:18:14,530
Hmm.

349
00:18:14,864 --> 00:18:19,494
(IN SPANISH) Yea, except my Uncle Fernando
ain't around to stick his hand down my pants.

350
00:18:19,619 --> 00:18:20,829
Please, speak English.

351
00:18:20,954 --> 00:18:22,747
How about you learn Spanish?

352
00:18:22,831 --> 00:18:26,000
In my family, it's Cousin Frankie.
Fuckin' perv.

353
00:18:26,083 --> 00:18:29,253
My mother hit him with a brick
when he messed with my niece once.

354
00:18:29,337 --> 00:18:30,338
(SPEAKING SPANISH)

355
00:18:30,463 --> 00:18:32,006
(IN SPANISH)
She broke his cheekbone.

356
00:18:32,089 --> 00:18:36,010
Now half his face is kinda sunk in.
Serves him right.

357
00:18:36,218 --> 00:18:38,513
My daughter's with my cousin

358
00:18:38,596 --> 00:18:40,473
at some <i>marimacha</i>
collective she's part of.

359
00:18:41,390 --> 00:18:42,600
Not a dick for miles.

360
00:18:42,684 --> 00:18:43,844
(IN SPANISH)
And I want it so.

361
00:18:43,852 --> 00:18:46,855
- You ain't worried they'll turn her gay?
- She's a baby.

362
00:18:46,980 --> 00:18:48,341
(IN SPANISH)
And I only got a year.

363
00:18:50,191 --> 00:18:52,109
I'll get her back before
she knows anything.

364
00:18:54,028 --> 00:18:56,906
NICKY: Immigration! Hands
where I can see 'em.

365
00:18:58,950 --> 00:19:00,284
Hmm. Funny, <i>cabrona.</i>

366
00:19:02,370 --> 00:19:05,080
Hey, the Squirrel and
the Silent One nearby?

367
00:19:05,247 --> 00:19:08,209
Out back. But not too long,
'cause they got work to do.

368
00:19:08,376 --> 00:19:09,418
All right.

369
00:19:11,587 --> 00:19:15,299
Hey, hey, Tweedles, time to draw
your names for Secret Santa.

370
00:19:15,383 --> 00:19:18,052
Now, Norma, I'll remind
you again, it's a secret,

371
00:19:18,177 --> 00:19:19,971
so don't go blabbing
all over camp.

372
00:19:21,180 --> 00:19:23,683
If you pick your own name, just
put it back and pull again.

373
00:19:27,102 --> 00:19:28,103
Really?

374
00:19:29,022 --> 00:19:30,064
You seen Red?

375
00:19:30,147 --> 00:19:33,192
No, not yet.
How's she doing?

376
00:19:33,359 --> 00:19:36,362
She wouldn't leave the cube this morning.
She won't show up for work.

377
00:19:36,445 --> 00:19:37,488
I said, "They're
gonna throw you

378
00:19:37,572 --> 00:19:38,781
"in the SHU if you
don't go to work,"

379
00:19:38,907 --> 00:19:41,027
but then she gave me that
look that makes my ass leak.

380
00:19:42,243 --> 00:19:44,370
I am familiar with that look.

381
00:19:44,537 --> 00:19:46,080
You gotta talk to her.

382
00:19:47,749 --> 00:19:49,333
And what am I supposed to say?

383
00:19:49,417 --> 00:19:50,752
That it's all gonna be okay?

384
00:19:51,252 --> 00:19:54,171
She's a very bright woman.
She knows how fucked she is.

385
00:19:54,547 --> 00:19:58,426
Please, Nicky. She's
really not in a good way.

386
00:20:02,764 --> 00:20:04,098
I'll see what I can do.

387
00:20:06,225 --> 00:20:07,226
Ooh!

388
00:20:07,309 --> 00:20:09,062
Diaz got an interesting one.

389
00:20:09,144 --> 00:20:10,813
Mom Diaz or daughter Diaz?

390
00:20:10,939 --> 00:20:12,231
Daughter.

391
00:20:12,314 --> 00:20:15,735
"Dayanara, I think of
your body all the time.

392
00:20:16,110 --> 00:20:19,906
"I'll be doing something else,
something normal, like driving my car

393
00:20:20,155 --> 00:20:25,620
"or making spaghetti, and then I
see you there in my brain, naked.

394
00:20:25,954 --> 00:20:29,040
"I can barely write this
letter I get so turned on.

395
00:20:29,123 --> 00:20:31,333
"You cast a spell on me.

396
00:20:31,459 --> 00:20:35,504
"And, baby, I hope that
spell is never undone.

397
00:20:35,630 --> 00:20:37,632
"Until we see
each other again."

398
00:20:37,715 --> 00:20:41,677
Signed, "Hot for you."
But with the number four.

399
00:20:41,803 --> 00:20:43,137
- (LAUGHS)
- Poor schmuck.

400
00:20:43,262 --> 00:20:45,473
Guess he doesn't know
Mendez stuck it in her.

401
00:20:45,598 --> 00:20:47,224
And what's the
latest with that?

402
00:20:47,308 --> 00:20:48,476
So far just a suspension.

403
00:20:48,559 --> 00:20:50,401
Captain's not saying
anything about it, though.

404
00:20:50,436 --> 00:20:51,646
And he won't. Watch.

405
00:20:51,729 --> 00:20:53,773
Diaz'll get transferred
and Mendez will be back.

406
00:20:53,856 --> 00:20:55,650
They love that sadistic fuck.

407
00:20:55,733 --> 00:20:57,944
You just gotta let
the jizz settle first.

408
00:20:58,319 --> 00:20:59,570
(CHUCKLES)

409
00:20:59,821 --> 00:21:03,407
Hey, check this out. Vause got
one from Chapman's fiance.

410
00:21:03,532 --> 00:21:05,284
Ooh, scandal!

411
00:21:05,785 --> 00:21:09,998
He's asking, will she add
him to her visitation list?

412
00:21:10,081 --> 00:21:11,874
"We need to talk," he says.

413
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:13,640
You think they're
conspiring on something?

414
00:21:13,668 --> 00:21:15,169
Yeah. A threesome.

415
00:21:17,171 --> 00:21:20,382
Been thinkin' about that, have you?
Chapman and Vause?

416
00:21:20,925 --> 00:21:23,260
I'm not saying something
we don't all know.

417
00:21:23,344 --> 00:21:24,679
(MICROWAVE BELL DINGS)

418
00:21:24,804 --> 00:21:26,514
(WOMAN CHATTERING ON PA)

419
00:21:30,184 --> 00:21:32,937
There she is.
And standing up!

420
00:21:33,604 --> 00:21:34,981
I heard you'd gone horizontal.

421
00:21:35,106 --> 00:21:38,693
I'm not here. I'm outside
raking dirt somewhere.

422
00:21:38,860 --> 00:21:40,235
You don't see me.

423
00:21:41,403 --> 00:21:44,284
All right. (CLEARS THROAT) You gotta
pick your name for the Secret Santa.

424
00:21:44,615 --> 00:21:47,535
Not this year, Nicky.
I'm not in the mood.

425
00:21:47,702 --> 00:21:50,245
Come on, Red.
You love Christmas.

426
00:21:50,371 --> 00:21:53,708
Your sons come up, I mean,
with their big-haired wives.

427
00:21:53,833 --> 00:21:56,460
I can't wait to see what
Sparkle Tits wears this year.

428
00:21:56,544 --> 00:21:58,880
Sparkle Tits and
Yuri have split.

429
00:21:59,254 --> 00:22:01,883
She took the kids and the
tits and the guinea pig

430
00:22:01,966 --> 00:22:03,634
and moved to Sheepshead Bay.

431
00:22:09,765 --> 00:22:11,225
So, how was breakfast?

432
00:22:11,893 --> 00:22:15,479
Spicy. And my
potatoes were cold.

433
00:22:15,938 --> 00:22:17,773
But it wasn't a disaster?

434
00:22:19,942 --> 00:22:22,184
I heard that someone found a
long black hair in her eggs,

435
00:22:22,235 --> 00:22:23,905
but it went unconfirmed.

436
00:22:26,115 --> 00:22:29,702
What? Should we have
gone on a hunger strike?

437
00:22:29,911 --> 00:22:32,121
They all work in
kitchens now, don't they?

438
00:22:32,245 --> 00:22:34,707
They pop out of a trunk of a
car and learn to fry an egg.

439
00:22:34,790 --> 00:22:36,084
God bless America.

440
00:22:36,249 --> 00:22:38,419
You can't blame Gloria.

441
00:22:38,544 --> 00:22:40,664
She's just trying to make the
best of a bad situation.

442
00:22:40,838 --> 00:22:44,257
Fucking Mendez. This is not
how it was supposed to go.

443
00:22:44,425 --> 00:22:47,220
None of this is how
it's supposed to go.

444
00:22:47,762 --> 00:22:51,057
You're tougher than woodpecker lips.
You'll be okay.

445
00:22:54,227 --> 00:22:55,686
(SIGHS)

446
00:22:56,604 --> 00:23:00,691
Here. Just get whoever
it is something nice.

447
00:23:00,900 --> 00:23:04,528
It's good karma. Sometimes
that shit comes back around.

448
00:23:11,702 --> 00:23:13,286
(CLICKING COUNTER)

449
00:23:14,956 --> 00:23:16,289
CULLIVER: All clear!

450
00:23:18,626 --> 00:23:20,586
Heard you broke up
with your girl.

451
00:23:21,503 --> 00:23:24,632
Wow. Twitter's got
nothing on prison.

452
00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:26,341
You feel bad?

453
00:23:27,051 --> 00:23:28,928
I feel like I did
what I needed to do.

454
00:23:29,804 --> 00:23:30,888
She mad?

455
00:23:31,139 --> 00:23:32,140
Yep.

456
00:23:32,265 --> 00:23:34,642
Mad enough to leave
a dead rat on your locker?

457
00:23:34,725 --> 00:23:35,893
What?

458
00:23:37,310 --> 00:23:38,437
Whoa!

459
00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:41,023
What the fuck? No, no,
no, she didn't do that.

460
00:23:41,149 --> 00:23:43,692
Do you think that that thing
just crawled up here and died?

461
00:23:43,818 --> 00:23:46,154
No. This a message rat.

462
00:23:46,279 --> 00:23:48,321
Someone say they
gonna kill you.

463
00:23:48,405 --> 00:23:49,448
Say it right here.

464
00:23:49,991 --> 00:23:56,831
See, they meant "you're," apostrophe R-E.
As in, you are gonna die.

465
00:23:56,914 --> 00:23:59,332
But this some
ignorant bitch-ass shit.

466
00:23:59,458 --> 00:24:01,002
What's an Amalekite?

467
00:24:01,127 --> 00:24:02,711
I think it's some Bible stuff.

468
00:24:02,837 --> 00:24:05,006
Hey, yo, Black Cindy.
Come here.

469
00:24:05,173 --> 00:24:07,967
Stuff. I bet this was that
crazy fucking hillbilly.

470
00:24:08,092 --> 00:24:09,177
What's up?

471
00:24:09,302 --> 00:24:11,804
- You was raised in the church, right?
- I was,

472
00:24:13,764 --> 00:24:15,266
but like my daddy say...

473
00:24:15,348 --> 00:24:21,354
<i>The Lord don't take</i>
<i>the wuzzers into the kingdom</i>

474
00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:25,776
<i>He take the izzers Yeah!</i>

475
00:24:25,860 --> 00:24:27,778
(VOCALIZING)

476
00:24:27,862 --> 00:24:29,780
Uh, so what's an Amalekite?

477
00:24:30,614 --> 00:24:31,740
- Amalekite?
- Mmm-hmm.

478
00:24:31,866 --> 00:24:35,536
Oh, they real baddies in the Bible.
Attackin' everybody.

479
00:24:35,661 --> 00:24:38,539
Preying on the weak and shit.
A war tribe.

480
00:24:38,956 --> 00:24:43,336
Ooh, in Samuel, God told
Saul to kill 'em all.

481
00:24:43,418 --> 00:24:44,419
(GRUNTS)

482
00:24:44,545 --> 00:24:47,882
Utterly destroy them motherfuckers.
That what God say.

483
00:24:47,965 --> 00:24:51,344
Even the babies.
Even the cows.

484
00:24:52,053 --> 00:24:53,888
They so bad their
cows had to die.

485
00:24:54,513 --> 00:24:55,723
Say anything about rats?

486
00:24:56,515 --> 00:24:57,725
No. Mmm-mmm.

487
00:24:58,433 --> 00:25:00,728
Okay, this is nuts.

488
00:25:00,853 --> 00:25:01,937
It is.

489
00:25:02,355 --> 00:25:03,731
I have to tell someone.

490
00:25:04,565 --> 00:25:07,776
Right. 'Cause
COs love trouble.

491
00:25:08,194 --> 00:25:10,279
Man, you say something,

492
00:25:10,403 --> 00:25:12,740
they gonna put you in Seg
"for your own protection,"

493
00:25:12,823 --> 00:25:14,575
just so they ain't gotta deal.

494
00:25:14,658 --> 00:25:16,077
True, true.

495
00:25:16,202 --> 00:25:19,705
You gotta handle this yourself.
Straight up. Cut.

496
00:25:19,788 --> 00:25:20,998
(IMITATES CUTTING)

497
00:25:21,414 --> 00:25:22,615
Well, what am I supposed to do?

498
00:25:22,624 --> 00:25:24,752
Kill that
motherfucker. Out.

499
00:25:30,507 --> 00:25:32,260
I seen dead everything.

500
00:25:32,343 --> 00:25:34,220
Did you explain to
her about the inventory?

501
00:25:34,303 --> 00:25:36,931
That protein order has
to last into next month.

502
00:25:37,056 --> 00:25:38,140
I'll come back and
there will be nothing

503
00:25:38,266 --> 00:25:39,641
but scraps for me to work with.

504
00:25:39,767 --> 00:25:41,143
They all talk Spanish
when we're around.

505
00:25:41,269 --> 00:25:43,271
(SIGHS) Listen, Jesus.

506
00:25:43,436 --> 00:25:45,940
She may have fed
a <i>quinceanera</i> or two,

507
00:25:46,023 --> 00:25:47,858
but this will catch up
with her soon enough.

508
00:25:47,942 --> 00:25:50,443
Feeding an entire
prison population day in

509
00:25:50,569 --> 00:25:52,613
and day out is a whole
other pot of fish stew

510
00:25:52,696 --> 00:25:54,447
and when she
starts to drown in it,

511
00:25:54,573 --> 00:25:56,174
we'll be the ones
who will pay the price.

512
00:25:56,284 --> 00:25:59,745
It'll take us weeks to put
everything back into working order.

513
00:26:00,288 --> 00:26:02,164
This is what I need you to do.

514
00:26:02,957 --> 00:26:04,959
Speed up the inevitable.

515
00:26:06,335 --> 00:26:08,254
Overcook, over-salt.

516
00:26:08,461 --> 00:26:10,131
We need the inmates to revolt.

517
00:26:10,298 --> 00:26:12,216
Red, we're
on the B-team.

518
00:26:12,300 --> 00:26:14,218
We don't go anywhere
near food prep anymore.

519
00:26:14,302 --> 00:26:16,637
She's got us
stacking boxes, serving...

520
00:26:17,305 --> 00:26:19,265
Well, start serving
very slowly then.

521
00:26:19,348 --> 00:26:21,809
The meal times will
be all screwed up.

522
00:26:21,934 --> 00:26:23,476
It'll throw the whole camp off.

523
00:26:23,978 --> 00:26:25,146
Yeah, I don't know.

524
00:26:25,229 --> 00:26:27,440
I mean, she runs a pretty
tight ship, right, Norma?

525
00:26:27,522 --> 00:26:28,649
I don't think
we'll get away with it.

526
00:26:28,774 --> 00:26:31,193
Don't think, Gina.
Just do it.

527
00:26:31,319 --> 00:26:34,363
You want to be stacking boxes
for the rest of your stay?

528
00:26:34,487 --> 00:26:36,740
You listen to
what I'm telling you,

529
00:26:36,824 --> 00:26:38,659
you need to fuck
with that kitchen.

530
00:26:38,784 --> 00:26:39,865
You fuck with this kitchen,

531
00:26:39,868 --> 00:26:40,911
I'll have you
outta here so fast

532
00:26:40,995 --> 00:26:41,996
you'll think your
ass grew wheels.

533
00:26:42,121 --> 00:26:43,496
Hey, we just wanna
do a good job.

534
00:26:43,580 --> 00:26:45,874
Yeah? Then why you in here
sniffin' around the dry goods

535
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:48,252
when I asked you to wipe
down the service station?

536
00:26:49,253 --> 00:26:53,174
Yeah, yeah, yeah, <i>mira,</i> I got four
kids, I know every trick there is.

537
00:26:53,841 --> 00:26:56,677
Now, I kept you here
'cause you know your shit.

538
00:26:57,386 --> 00:26:59,512
It's not your fault
that Red lost the kitchen.

539
00:26:59,638 --> 00:27:02,641
But we all know this
is one of the good jobs.

540
00:27:02,850 --> 00:27:05,019
Don't let Red take
you down with her.

541
00:27:07,688 --> 00:27:09,064
<i>Vamos,</i> let's go.

542
00:27:09,482 --> 00:27:11,524
PIPER: <i>Maybe she's just</i>
<i>trying to engage me.</i>

543
00:27:11,650 --> 00:27:15,154
She says that thing about the
Amalekites, piques my interest,

544
00:27:15,237 --> 00:27:18,282
and then she can get me to
go to Bible study group.

545
00:27:18,531 --> 00:27:19,700
(POUSSEY SCOFFING)

546
00:27:19,825 --> 00:27:21,035
She's a weird girl.

547
00:27:21,118 --> 00:27:23,400
- Yeah. "You gonna die" was really vague.
- BLACK CINDY: Ha!

548
00:27:23,454 --> 00:27:25,498
Like, totally open
to interpretation.

549
00:27:25,831 --> 00:27:29,043
You know that tweakhead is coming
for you, you better prepare.

550
00:27:29,126 --> 00:27:31,628
All right, listen,
chick steps up,

551
00:27:32,087 --> 00:27:33,881
kick her straight in the cooch.

552
00:27:33,964 --> 00:27:36,050
Hurts just as much on
girls as it do on guys.

553
00:27:36,175 --> 00:27:37,301
ALL: Mmm-hmm.

554
00:27:37,385 --> 00:27:39,720
Yeah, yeah, but if you
punchin', you go for the nose.

555
00:27:39,803 --> 00:27:41,180
Biff! Swap!
You know what I mean?

556
00:27:41,347 --> 00:27:44,599
I still say the pookacha.
Shot to the twat.

557
00:27:45,434 --> 00:27:47,144
Yo! Then, when
she doubled over,

558
00:27:47,269 --> 00:27:49,021
elbow straight to the back.
Like... (YELLS)

559
00:27:49,230 --> 00:27:51,482
- Bitch out!
- What? Gone!

560
00:27:51,564 --> 00:27:53,359
Pow, pow, pow,
pow! Whomp!

561
00:27:53,442 --> 00:27:54,902
(WOMEN CHATTERING EXCITEDLY)

562
00:27:55,861 --> 00:27:58,322
Okay, come on,
you guys, come on!

563
00:27:58,406 --> 00:28:00,824
With Red, I just had to come
up with a creative solution.

564
00:28:00,908 --> 00:28:02,701
So, maybe we should think
along those lines.

565
00:28:04,245 --> 00:28:06,080
Figure out something
she really needs.

566
00:28:07,415 --> 00:28:08,999
What is something
that she really needs?

567
00:28:09,417 --> 00:28:10,418
ALL: New teeth!

568
00:28:10,959 --> 00:28:12,378
(ALL LAUGHING)

569
00:28:12,585 --> 00:28:15,066
- BLACK CINDY: This is jacked up! Bitches in heat.
- POUSSEY: Yo.

570
00:28:21,011 --> 00:28:22,930
- He's in love with you.
- What are you talking about?

571
00:28:23,013 --> 00:28:25,140
Mendez. He's madly
in love with you.

572
00:28:25,433 --> 00:28:26,767
Clearly you gave
an amazing performance,

573
00:28:26,892 --> 00:28:29,562
because the man
is head over heels.

574
00:28:29,644 --> 00:28:31,105
Unless it wasn't a performance.

575
00:28:31,272 --> 00:28:33,107
- You think I liked it?
- I don't know.

576
00:28:33,232 --> 00:28:35,943
All I know is that he sure did
and I had to hear all about it,

577
00:28:36,026 --> 00:28:37,652
and now I can
barely look at you.

578
00:28:37,778 --> 00:28:40,489
John, it's our baby.

579
00:28:41,073 --> 00:28:42,657
Well, it can go
live with George.

580
00:28:42,783 --> 00:28:44,452
- Who's George?
- Mendez!

581
00:28:47,121 --> 00:28:48,372
(INAUDIBLE)

582
00:28:51,500 --> 00:28:53,085
He'll think it's
his love child anyway.

583
00:28:54,628 --> 00:28:56,671
(SIGHS) I'll ask him
to get a DNA test.

584
00:28:56,797 --> 00:28:58,006
Then they'll fire me.

585
00:28:58,132 --> 00:28:59,967
They're not gonna
know it's yours.

586
00:29:00,092 --> 00:29:01,885
They'll just know it's not his.

587
00:29:01,969 --> 00:29:03,929
Then Cesar will pick it
up from the hospital

588
00:29:04,012 --> 00:29:05,180
and he'll bring it to you.

589
00:29:05,306 --> 00:29:06,307
If the test
proves it's not his,

590
00:29:06,432 --> 00:29:08,350
they're gonna want to know how
you got pregnant in prison,

591
00:29:08,476 --> 00:29:12,480
and then we're back to where we started.
Daya, it was a bad plan.

592
00:29:12,729 --> 00:29:14,440
And you had sex with him.

593
00:29:15,649 --> 00:29:18,777
John, I love you.

594
00:29:20,154 --> 00:29:21,822
I hate him.

595
00:29:23,031 --> 00:29:26,160
I only love you.
You gotta know that.

596
00:29:26,827 --> 00:29:28,036
I can't do this.

597
00:29:28,203 --> 00:29:29,288
What...

598
00:29:30,164 --> 00:29:31,499
You missed a spot.

599
00:29:40,132 --> 00:29:41,967
ALEX: Come on, Lorna,
tell us who you got!

600
00:29:42,134 --> 00:29:43,636
No! It's a secret!

601
00:29:44,136 --> 00:29:45,513
BIG BOO: (LAUGHS)
Some secret.

602
00:29:45,596 --> 00:29:46,888
You just got finished asking me

603
00:29:47,014 --> 00:29:49,683
what my favorite color is
and if my feet get cold.

604
00:29:53,061 --> 00:29:54,522
If I was making you slippers,

605
00:29:54,771 --> 00:29:57,107
which I am not,
I wouldn't be anymore.

606
00:29:57,191 --> 00:30:01,028
So, you just get used to having
cold feet that ain't magenta!

607
00:30:01,862 --> 00:30:03,197
(BOTH SNICKERING)

608
00:30:04,198 --> 00:30:07,034
Wow. Please start
fucking her again.

609
00:30:07,326 --> 00:30:09,370
Yeah, you only get one
chance to break my heart.

610
00:30:09,662 --> 00:30:10,871
(CHUCKLES)

611
00:30:11,038 --> 00:30:12,456
Hey, remember that, Vause.

612
00:30:12,831 --> 00:30:16,544
Such self-restraint. It's
impressive for a junkie.

613
00:30:17,044 --> 00:30:19,046
Well, yeah, that's with drugs.

614
00:30:19,129 --> 00:30:20,172
Look, you gotta remember,

615
00:30:20,255 --> 00:30:22,799
I had a mom who sent me to
overnight camp when I was three.

616
00:30:22,883 --> 00:30:25,553
I have mastered the art
of shutting people off.

617
00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:28,561
Yeah, maybe I should go
into training with you.

618
00:30:28,930 --> 00:30:30,432
What, Chapman?

619
00:30:31,684 --> 00:30:35,854
Sucks. I'm sorry, kid.
I know she got to you.

620
00:30:36,689 --> 00:30:40,734
Hey, how about we both say a
little prayer that she gets fat

621
00:30:40,859 --> 00:30:42,777
and stops shaving her legs?

622
00:30:44,446 --> 00:30:45,573
Done.

623
00:30:49,159 --> 00:30:50,244
Look.

624
00:30:53,747 --> 00:30:58,835
From your son? Oh, Sophia,
I'm so happy for you.

625
00:30:59,836 --> 00:31:02,423
Look, he didn't
write anything else.

626
00:31:02,590 --> 00:31:06,594
But that's his signature. My wife
didn't fake-sign it for him this time.

627
00:31:06,719 --> 00:31:07,761
Oh!

628
00:31:08,345 --> 00:31:09,597
So that's something, right?

629
00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:10,805
Mmm-hmm.

630
00:31:10,931 --> 00:31:14,768
That's something. I just
wish he'd talk to me.

631
00:31:15,018 --> 00:31:16,520
He's starting to.

632
00:31:19,773 --> 00:31:22,943
Sisters. You all sure
about this part for me?

633
00:31:23,318 --> 00:31:26,739
Have faith, dear.
Your voice resonates.

634
00:31:27,781 --> 00:31:32,077
Yeah. You right. I should
just put the past behind me.

635
00:31:32,578 --> 00:31:34,329
No way that could happen again.

636
00:31:42,713 --> 00:31:44,715
(INHALES DEEPLY)

637
00:31:54,266 --> 00:31:55,350
Alex.

638
00:31:56,143 --> 00:31:57,144
Yeah?

639
00:31:57,728 --> 00:32:00,814
You're tall.

640
00:32:01,231 --> 00:32:02,232
(SCOFFS)

641
00:32:02,316 --> 00:32:03,900
I've been told.

642
00:32:11,032 --> 00:32:12,409
(SIGHS)

643
00:32:15,078 --> 00:32:16,163
(CLEARS THROAT)

644
00:32:16,288 --> 00:32:17,289
Um...

645
00:32:20,041 --> 00:32:21,835
Sorry, this is, uh...

646
00:32:23,003 --> 00:32:24,004
(SCOFFS)

647
00:32:24,379 --> 00:32:27,508
Had so many things planned
to say to you, but now I...

648
00:32:28,509 --> 00:32:30,719
I'm just picturing you...

649
00:32:30,844 --> 00:32:32,262
Got you all flustered?

650
00:32:32,346 --> 00:32:33,847
You got me pissed off.

651
00:32:34,348 --> 00:32:36,016
How many times do
you think you can

652
00:32:36,099 --> 00:32:38,435
come around and fuck up
Piper's life, huh?

653
00:32:38,519 --> 00:32:42,773
I don't know what
psychic black void

654
00:32:43,482 --> 00:32:44,775
your little game
with her fills,

655
00:32:44,941 --> 00:32:48,737
but you need to end it now
and stay away from her.

656
00:32:49,697 --> 00:32:54,201
Not a problem. She's all yours, champ.
We done here?

657
00:32:54,409 --> 00:32:56,286
Whoa, whoa! Whoa.
Hold on.

658
00:32:59,873 --> 00:33:03,585
Suddenly she's all mine
when you have been

659
00:33:04,211 --> 00:33:06,630
working her over
since she got here?

660
00:33:07,214 --> 00:33:11,677
Working her over? Are
you fucking kidding me?

661
00:33:13,345 --> 00:33:19,476
She came to me. Dragged me into
that chapel and fucked me.

662
00:33:24,231 --> 00:33:29,236
Surprised me, too. She never
used to be the aggressor.

663
00:33:30,779 --> 00:33:33,657
I guess it was a new color
she was trying on.

664
00:33:33,741 --> 00:33:35,784
Or maybe she was bored.
Uh, who knows?

665
00:33:36,410 --> 00:33:37,661
You fucked in a chapel?

666
00:33:37,828 --> 00:33:39,162
It's prison.

667
00:33:39,246 --> 00:33:40,288
(RADIO CHATTER)

668
00:33:41,456 --> 00:33:43,250
There aren't
a whole lot of options.

669
00:33:43,375 --> 00:33:44,835
But I'm done.

670
00:33:46,461 --> 00:33:48,462
I can't survive another
spin on her merry-go-round.

671
00:33:48,505 --> 00:33:53,218
And clearly, you're still into
it, so (SCOFFS) enjoy the ride.

672
00:33:53,552 --> 00:33:56,346
Fuck you. It's not a ride.
We're getting married.

673
00:33:57,055 --> 00:33:58,056
Great.

674
00:34:00,851 --> 00:34:02,269
So why are you here?

675
00:34:02,770 --> 00:34:04,396
I wanted to meet you.

676
00:34:08,483 --> 00:34:11,612
Larry, my heart is with you.

677
00:34:13,488 --> 00:34:17,075
She's hot.
She's read everything.

678
00:34:19,119 --> 00:34:21,162
(SIGHS) We both know
what she's like in bed.

679
00:34:25,626 --> 00:34:27,795
But she is fucked up.

680
00:34:29,003 --> 00:34:31,465
I know it, and you do, too.

681
00:34:32,132 --> 00:34:34,968
Or else you wouldn't be here
warning me to stay away.

682
00:34:36,136 --> 00:34:37,971
I'm not your problem.

683
00:34:49,149 --> 00:34:50,984
(SHOWER RUNNING)

684
00:35:01,703 --> 00:35:03,163
Hey, College.

685
00:35:03,246 --> 00:35:04,414
(GASPS)

686
00:35:05,749 --> 00:35:08,502
- What are you...
- Don't be acting all modest.

687
00:35:08,585 --> 00:35:10,838
You're about as
indecent as they come.

688
00:35:12,172 --> 00:35:16,760
Okay. Let me dry off and
we can talk about this.

689
00:35:17,511 --> 00:35:20,347
Bathroom's full.
Try back later.

690
00:35:20,889 --> 00:35:22,056
(TISKS)

691
00:35:28,355 --> 00:35:29,523
(DOOR CLOSES)

692
00:35:30,106 --> 00:35:31,399
I don't wanna talk.

693
00:35:32,526 --> 00:35:35,529
I'm not going to let you
intimidate me, Tiffany.

694
00:35:36,738 --> 00:35:37,865
What do you want?

695
00:35:38,699 --> 00:35:40,241
What do I want?

696
00:35:41,952 --> 00:35:43,203
(GRUNTS)
Hmm.

697
00:35:43,328 --> 00:35:47,248
I want you to feel the
same pain on your body

698
00:35:47,499 --> 00:35:51,670
as you have made
me feel in my heart.

699
00:35:57,467 --> 00:35:59,427
I know, it's not much.

700
00:36:00,178 --> 00:36:03,264
But it's sharp, it's sharp.
Do you wanna see?

701
00:36:14,234 --> 00:36:15,360
Hmm.

702
00:36:15,610 --> 00:36:16,611
(GASPS)

703
00:36:21,241 --> 00:36:22,242
(WHISTLES)

704
00:36:22,993 --> 00:36:24,036
Out.

705
00:36:24,118 --> 00:36:25,537
I thought only lady COs
can go in the bathroom.

706
00:36:25,620 --> 00:36:28,081
DONALDSON: Hey! This is not
your assigned bathroom,

707
00:36:28,164 --> 00:36:30,250
you are out of bounds.
Out, now!

708
00:36:38,759 --> 00:36:41,511
I guess next time we're gonna
get more creative. That's okay.

709
00:36:41,595 --> 00:36:42,763
DONALDSON: Doggett!

710
00:36:42,930 --> 00:36:44,431
I got some other ideas.

711
00:36:44,765 --> 00:36:47,768
- Doggett!
- Yes. Yes, yes, yes, coming.

712
00:36:57,611 --> 00:36:59,112
(SHUDDERING)

713
00:37:06,995 --> 00:37:07,996
You okay?

714
00:37:09,122 --> 00:37:13,710
No. I'm not equipped
to deal with this.

715
00:37:13,794 --> 00:37:15,003
I have to tell someone.

716
00:37:15,545 --> 00:37:17,297
Please, she is a bitty thing.

717
00:37:17,380 --> 00:37:19,466
You can take her. Easy.

718
00:37:19,549 --> 00:37:21,802
And when you do,
score is settled.

719
00:37:21,885 --> 00:37:24,596
Girl, stop being
a bitch-ass bitch.

720
00:37:25,639 --> 00:37:29,810
You got a little blood on your nip-nip there.
Rinse that off.

721
00:37:38,401 --> 00:37:40,112
(SNORING)

722
00:37:45,366 --> 00:37:47,494
(RADIO CHATTER)

723
00:37:50,538 --> 00:37:52,624
(WOMEN SNICKERING)

724
00:38:39,587 --> 00:38:41,268
MARITZA AND FLACA:
Five, six, seven, eight.

725
00:38:44,300 --> 00:38:46,928
Pop, turn and shake.

726
00:38:47,054 --> 00:38:49,139
MARITZA: No,
a shimmy now. Daya!

727
00:38:49,222 --> 00:38:50,264
Okay.

728
00:38:50,390 --> 00:38:52,308
- Got it.
- ALL: Five, six, seven, eight.

729
00:38:54,561 --> 00:38:59,357
Hip, hip, ha, ha,
pop, pop, turn and shimmy.

730
00:38:59,566 --> 00:39:00,942
- No, <i>pero</i> you gotta pop!
- Booty.

731
00:39:01,068 --> 00:39:02,069
- All right!
- Okay, okay.

732
00:39:02,194 --> 00:39:03,528
And shake your
booty at the end.

733
00:39:03,695 --> 00:39:05,238
WOMEN: Five, six,
seven, eight.

734
00:39:05,572 --> 00:39:07,892
<i>Uno, dos, tres, cuatro,</i> hip,
hip, ha, ha, pop, pop, turn...

735
00:39:07,908 --> 00:39:10,785
Ladies, this is not a recreational area.
Get to work. Now!

736
00:39:11,995 --> 00:39:13,997
Whoa, lighten up.
It's the holidays.

737
00:39:14,081 --> 00:39:15,082
I said back to work.

738
00:39:15,207 --> 00:39:17,084
Okay, but we were just
rehearsing our dance.

739
00:39:17,209 --> 00:39:19,419
The rules are put in
place for your safety.

740
00:39:20,795 --> 00:39:22,422
All right.
(SIGHS)

741
00:39:22,547 --> 00:39:24,507
(IN SPANISH) Daya needs to tell
her boyfriend to lighten up.

742
00:39:24,591 --> 00:39:25,592
I know, right?

743
00:39:25,717 --> 00:39:28,511
I understand some Spanish, Flaca.
He's not my boyfriend.

744
00:39:28,595 --> 00:39:29,930
What did you say, inmate?

745
00:39:32,140 --> 00:39:33,225
Nothing.

746
00:39:33,433 --> 00:39:35,143
That's right.
You say nothing.

747
00:39:35,268 --> 00:39:36,561
You have nothing to say.

748
00:39:40,273 --> 00:39:41,775
- (GRUNTS)
- (WOMEN SCREAMING)

749
00:39:47,822 --> 00:39:49,241
(ALARM BLARING)

750
00:39:49,323 --> 00:39:50,700
(YELLING)

751
00:39:53,078 --> 00:39:54,621
(WHIMPERS)

752
00:39:59,584 --> 00:40:01,211
I don't see any
electrical issues.

753
00:40:01,628 --> 00:40:03,028
Appliance seems to
be in good shape.

754
00:40:03,588 --> 00:40:07,842
Just full of grease. So I'm
gonna say grease fire.

755
00:40:08,301 --> 00:40:10,137
Brilliant. Thank you.

756
00:40:13,306 --> 00:40:15,100
How bad did Murphy seem to you?

757
00:40:15,267 --> 00:40:16,559
BENNETT: It's hard to say.

758
00:40:16,643 --> 00:40:19,312
You know, after she got sprayed,
there was a lot of foam.

759
00:40:20,855 --> 00:40:24,609
She was burned, all over her
arm and, like, her clavicle.

760
00:40:24,692 --> 00:40:26,903
I seen it before
Maritza spritzed.

761
00:40:27,195 --> 00:40:30,824
Mendoza, part of your
job is to make sure

762
00:40:30,949 --> 00:40:32,867
these ovens are
cleaned properly.

763
00:40:32,993 --> 00:40:35,495
Don't make me regret
putting you in charge.

764
00:40:35,662 --> 00:40:37,247
I did clean those ovens.

765
00:40:37,789 --> 00:40:39,791
Well, clearly not well enough.

766
00:40:40,167 --> 00:40:42,502
Yeah. Clearly.

767
00:40:51,970 --> 00:40:53,721
All right, get back to work.

768
00:40:55,932 --> 00:40:57,600
MAN ON PA:
<i>Attention, ladies,</i>

769
00:40:57,684 --> 00:41:00,561
<i>breakfast has been</i>
<i>temporarily delayed.</i>

770
00:41:03,273 --> 00:41:04,357
Are you sure you're okay?

771
00:41:04,524 --> 00:41:06,567
Yeah, it just
scared me a little.

772
00:41:07,652 --> 00:41:08,945
Me, too.

773
00:41:13,533 --> 00:41:14,701
CAPUTO: Bennett!

774
00:41:17,620 --> 00:41:19,080
We have more to discuss.

775
00:41:19,206 --> 00:41:20,498
Yes, sir.

776
00:41:26,546 --> 00:41:29,132
MAN: <i>Blocks B and C</i>
<i>resume normal program.</i>

777
00:41:30,508 --> 00:41:34,428
Talk to the medic, get a detailed
account of Murphy's injuries,

778
00:41:34,554 --> 00:41:36,348
bring me the report
by the end of the day.

779
00:41:36,430 --> 00:41:38,683
Speaking of reports,
where's the drug bust?

780
00:41:38,766 --> 00:41:41,811
I want to get that filed.
That is a big win for us.

781
00:41:41,895 --> 00:41:44,605
Yeah, can I talk
to you about that?

782
00:41:44,731 --> 00:41:48,693
I had this meeting
or something with Fig.

783
00:41:49,194 --> 00:41:50,737
Christ. What happened?

784
00:41:52,405 --> 00:41:54,782
She is a pencil
pusher, Bennett.

785
00:41:54,908 --> 00:41:58,036
You and I, we are
battling in the trenches.

786
00:41:59,204 --> 00:42:02,498
She told me not to
file a report about the...

787
00:42:04,792 --> 00:42:08,088
About the drugs. She said an
investigation could point to me.

788
00:42:08,380 --> 00:42:10,257
That little...

789
00:42:10,464 --> 00:42:11,758
(GRUNTS)

790
00:42:12,008 --> 00:42:13,260
(SIGHS)

791
00:42:13,760 --> 00:42:17,222
She's cutting off your
balls to protect her own.

792
00:42:17,305 --> 00:42:19,766
You write up
that report, Bennett,

793
00:42:19,849 --> 00:42:20,975
and you bring it to me.

794
00:42:21,101 --> 00:42:24,312
That way, in fact, you
did not file it. I did.

795
00:42:25,146 --> 00:42:26,273
Yes, sir.

796
00:42:26,606 --> 00:42:28,649
This place fucking stinks.

797
00:42:29,276 --> 00:42:31,111
We'll open some windows, sir.

798
00:42:32,528 --> 00:42:34,447
That's not what
I meant, Bennett.

799
00:42:34,572 --> 00:42:35,949
That's not what I meant.

800
00:42:45,458 --> 00:42:47,001
Merry Christmas, Chapman.

801
00:42:53,758 --> 00:42:55,135
It's not Christmas yet.

802
00:42:55,343 --> 00:42:59,139
Yeah, well, it came
early for you this year.

803
00:42:59,889 --> 00:43:02,225
There you go. Go on.

804
00:43:04,477 --> 00:43:06,271
You big ho, ho, ho.

805
00:43:06,520 --> 00:43:07,521
(CHUCKLES)

806
00:43:35,342 --> 00:43:39,553
I never meant to hurt anyone, Norma.
Least of all Gina.

807
00:43:39,679 --> 00:43:42,056
She's my daughter.
You know that.

808
00:43:42,849 --> 00:43:44,225
(SOBBING)

809
00:43:56,363 --> 00:43:59,532
Yo. Check it out.
(LAUGHING)

810
00:44:00,533 --> 00:44:04,204
Whoa! You put a lot
of work into that.

811
00:44:04,287 --> 00:44:06,873
Who knew you were so
fucking thoughtful? Jesus.

812
00:44:06,956 --> 00:44:10,626
Yeah. I have my moments.
Think she'll like it?

813
00:44:10,960 --> 00:44:13,046
I don't know if she'll
appreciate the groom.

814
00:44:13,671 --> 00:44:15,882
What happened to that iron
gate keeping your heart shut?

815
00:44:16,007 --> 00:44:17,591
It's a joke.

816
00:44:17,800 --> 00:44:18,885
Is it?

817
00:44:27,768 --> 00:44:29,437
What are you doing there?

818
00:44:30,230 --> 00:44:31,231
Making you a pair of earrings.

819
00:44:31,314 --> 00:44:33,774
Wait! You asshole! That's
supposed to be a surprise.

820
00:44:33,983 --> 00:44:35,276
Surprise!

821
00:44:36,277 --> 00:44:37,278
(CHUCKLES)

822
00:44:37,695 --> 00:44:38,905
These suck.

823
00:44:40,281 --> 00:44:45,370
God! I'm just not crafty. I
don't know what to give you.

824
00:44:47,080 --> 00:44:52,043
Man, you're right. It should be a boy.
It's not funny.

825
00:44:58,550 --> 00:45:02,720
Hey. I think I know what
I want for Christmas.

826
00:45:03,388 --> 00:45:04,514
Yeah?

827
00:45:04,596 --> 00:45:05,723
Yeah.

828
00:45:31,291 --> 00:45:32,542
(CHUCKLES)

829
00:45:34,461 --> 00:45:35,627
(BELL DINGS)

830
00:46:08,411 --> 00:46:09,496
MARIA: Next.

831
00:46:25,803 --> 00:46:28,431
I got the marriage form.
It's all filled out.

832
00:46:28,680 --> 00:46:30,016
Good. Good.

833
00:46:32,560 --> 00:46:33,685
If I make it.

834
00:46:33,853 --> 00:46:35,104
If you make it?

835
00:46:35,271 --> 00:46:38,399
Someone's trying to kill me.
A Christian meth head.

836
00:46:38,650 --> 00:46:40,193
Someone else is
trying to kill you?

837
00:46:40,360 --> 00:46:43,488
Hey, it's not my fault. I
didn't ask for this. It just...

838
00:46:43,655 --> 00:46:48,201
It just happened? It happened.
The drama happened to find you.

839
00:46:48,284 --> 00:46:51,037
Like it always does.
'Cause you need it.

840
00:46:51,829 --> 00:46:53,331
Where did that come from?

841
00:46:55,124 --> 00:46:56,501
I met Alex.

842
00:46:59,337 --> 00:47:01,047
What do you mean you met Alex?

843
00:47:01,381 --> 00:47:03,715
I wanted to tell
her to stay away.

844
00:47:04,884 --> 00:47:08,054
I wanted her to see that I was a
real person that she was hurting.

845
00:47:08,137 --> 00:47:11,140
But actually, Piper,

846
00:47:11,224 --> 00:47:13,104
you were the one that was
doing all the hurting.

847
00:47:13,893 --> 00:47:16,103
Whatever she said
is a lie, Larry.

848
00:47:16,229 --> 00:47:19,399
She's a crazy,
manipulative liar.

849
00:47:19,857 --> 00:47:21,693
<i>This is unbelievable.</i>

850
00:47:23,361 --> 00:47:26,155
I can't believe you didn't trust
me to handle this on my own.

851
00:47:26,322 --> 00:47:30,618
No, I didn't. I didn't, and
doesn't that say so much?

852
00:47:31,118 --> 00:47:33,705
<i>I can't be on your</i>
<i>ride anymore, Piper.</i>

853
00:47:33,871 --> 00:47:37,917
I don't think we share the same values.
Why was I in such a hurry?

854
00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:39,751
Because I was afraid.

855
00:47:42,630 --> 00:47:45,425
You shouldn't be with
someone out of fear.

856
00:47:48,553 --> 00:47:51,598
No. No.

857
00:47:53,099 --> 00:47:55,560
No, no, no.

858
00:47:57,520 --> 00:47:59,272
I'm sorry. I...

859
00:48:02,233 --> 00:48:03,443
Bye, Piper.

860
00:48:04,860 --> 00:48:06,862
No. Larry.

861
00:48:11,618 --> 00:48:12,868
(SIGHS)

862
00:48:16,080 --> 00:48:18,124
No. No.

863
00:48:23,630 --> 00:48:24,756
Alex.

864
00:48:25,339 --> 00:48:28,134
Are you kidding me?
Get out.

865
00:48:28,635 --> 00:48:31,220
- Alex...
- Get out. No fucking way.

866
00:48:33,013 --> 00:48:34,265
Get out.

867
00:48:35,141 --> 00:48:36,643
You heard the lady.

868
00:48:48,321 --> 00:48:49,781
(CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING)

869
00:48:49,947 --> 00:48:51,282
(INMATES CHATTERING)

870
00:49:25,441 --> 00:49:27,735
Another holiday.
Can you believe this?

871
00:49:28,027 --> 00:49:32,031
I can because I have eyes.
And a calendar.

872
00:49:33,491 --> 00:49:36,452
Healy, if you ever
call an inmate's family

873
00:49:36,536 --> 00:49:38,579
again with your
lesbian witch hunt shit,

874
00:49:38,705 --> 00:49:40,331
I will destroy you.

875
00:49:41,666 --> 00:49:43,459
Your mail-order bride
will leave you,

876
00:49:43,543 --> 00:49:46,003
and you will never work again.

877
00:49:46,086 --> 00:49:47,588
Get some fucking therapy, man.

878
00:50:01,310 --> 00:50:02,478
- Hey.
- Hey.

879
00:50:02,562 --> 00:50:03,937
I heard you were coming.

880
00:50:04,731 --> 00:50:06,691
I would have sent
these to the hospital,

881
00:50:09,318 --> 00:50:11,738
but I thought I'd rather
deliver them in person.

882
00:50:12,071 --> 00:50:17,243
Wow, Mr. Caputo,
Joe, thank you.

883
00:50:17,869 --> 00:50:19,662
That's really thoughtful.

884
00:50:21,748 --> 00:50:24,375
Oh, this is
my boyfriend, Stephen.

885
00:50:24,458 --> 00:50:25,835
This is Joe Caputo.

886
00:50:25,917 --> 00:50:28,254
- Hello.
- Hello, Stephen.

887
00:50:28,546 --> 00:50:29,630
(CHUCKLES)

888
00:50:30,047 --> 00:50:31,465
Really, really nice
to meet you.

889
00:50:31,923 --> 00:50:33,175
Happy holidays, sir.

890
00:50:33,925 --> 00:50:36,554
- Joe. Please.
- Joe.

891
00:50:38,598 --> 00:50:41,642
Oh. All right, that could be trouble.
Excuse me.

892
00:50:41,768 --> 00:50:45,396
Oh, no, I think that's theater for
"the show's gonna start soon."

893
00:50:46,439 --> 00:50:49,108
Right. (CHUCKLES)
Of course.

894
00:50:49,567 --> 00:50:52,445
Okay.
Okay, night... Yeah.

895
00:50:55,698 --> 00:50:56,990
(SHUSHING)

896
00:50:57,575 --> 00:50:59,660
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

897
00:51:07,835 --> 00:51:09,961
(ALL HUMMING)

898
00:51:12,632 --> 00:51:15,301
- <i>Joy to the world</i>
- <i>The world</i>

899
00:51:15,426 --> 00:51:17,762
- <i>The Lord is come</i>
- <i>Is come</i>

900
00:51:17,845 --> 00:51:23,392
- <i>Let Earth receive her King</i>
- <i>Her King</i>

901
00:51:23,476 --> 00:51:28,940
<i>Let every heart</i>
<i>prepare Him room</i>

902
00:51:29,022 --> 00:51:32,735
- <i>And Heaven and nature sing</i>
- <i>Nature sing</i>

903
00:51:32,860 --> 00:51:34,779
- <i>And Heaven and nature sing</i>
- <i>Nature sing</i>

904
00:51:34,946 --> 00:51:39,826
- <i>And Heaven, and Heaven, nature sing</i>
- <i>Nature sing</i>

905
00:51:40,075 --> 00:51:41,744
(CHEERING)

906
00:51:46,998 --> 00:51:53,965
<i>Amazing grace</i>

907
00:51:56,175 --> 00:52:01,722
- <i>How sweet</i>
- <i>Sweet</i>

908
00:52:01,848 --> 00:52:06,477
- <i>The sound</i>
- <i>Sound</i>

909
00:52:06,560 --> 00:52:10,063
<i>That saved</i>

910
00:52:10,189 --> 00:52:17,070
<i>A wretch like me</i>

911
00:52:17,530 --> 00:52:19,782
<i>Like me</i>

912
00:52:20,073 --> 00:52:26,998
<i>I once was lost</i>

913
00:52:27,414 --> 00:52:29,166
<i>Lost</i>

914
00:52:29,667 --> 00:52:35,046
<i>But now I'm found</i>

915
00:52:36,089 --> 00:52:38,217
<i>Found</i>

916
00:52:38,342 --> 00:52:40,887
<i>Was blind</i>

917
00:52:41,012 --> 00:52:45,016
<i>But now</i>

918
00:52:45,349 --> 00:52:51,647
<i>I see</i>

919
00:52:55,150 --> 00:52:56,193
Psst. Hey!

920
00:53:01,072 --> 00:53:02,073
(CHUCKLES)

921
00:53:03,034 --> 00:53:04,410
Thank you.
Merry Christmas.

922
00:53:04,911 --> 00:53:06,328
(MOUTHING)
Merry Christmas.

923
00:53:08,079 --> 00:53:09,248
WOMAN: Shut the fuck up.

924
00:53:11,250 --> 00:53:15,379
Joseph, I'm not
feeling very well.

925
00:53:15,462 --> 00:53:19,508
I'm really tired
and I have a pain.

926
00:53:19,592 --> 00:53:22,595
I think it's time for
the baby to be born!

927
00:53:23,846 --> 00:53:29,685
Please, Mary, lie down here on
this nice bed I made in the straw.

928
00:53:30,269 --> 00:53:32,605
Oh, yeah, lay down, Mary!

929
00:53:33,188 --> 00:53:34,815
(ALL LAUGHING)

930
00:53:37,359 --> 00:53:39,486
Jesus fucking Christ!

931
00:53:40,362 --> 00:53:43,365
All right, ladies. Knock it off!
Knock it off!

932
00:53:47,036 --> 00:53:49,204
Joseph, you were saying?

933
00:53:49,413 --> 00:53:50,957
That should have
been us up there.

934
00:53:51,122 --> 00:53:52,165
I know.

935
00:53:52,917 --> 00:53:56,670
Lie down, Mary,
it won't be long now.

936
00:53:58,464 --> 00:53:59,799
(PIANO PLAYING)

937
00:54:39,046 --> 00:54:40,255
(PLAYS CHORD)

938
00:54:43,342 --> 00:54:44,844
(SCATTERED LAUGHING)

939
00:55:23,049 --> 00:55:25,342
- WOMAN: Yeah!
- (AUDIENCE WHOOPING)

940
00:55:28,721 --> 00:55:30,962
You should be in the center.
You should be in the center.

941
00:56:27,196 --> 00:56:31,242
Hey! Hey! Where you
think you're going?

942
00:56:32,534 --> 00:56:34,411
Oh, no.
Oh, no.

943
00:56:34,494 --> 00:56:38,331
You do not wanna fight with me
right now, crazy. You do not.

944
00:56:38,540 --> 00:56:39,917
Oh, no?

945
00:56:40,042 --> 00:56:41,961
Maybe you're right.
I don't wanna fight you.

946
00:56:42,920 --> 00:56:44,838
I wanna end you right now.

947
00:56:50,136 --> 00:56:52,554
You better stop. Mr. Healy's
right over there.

948
00:56:52,638 --> 00:56:53,806
Hi, Mr. Healy.

949
00:56:54,932 --> 00:56:59,352
Mr. Healy! Mr. Healy! Mr. Healy!

950
00:57:00,395 --> 00:57:02,148
She's trying to kill me!

951
00:57:10,572 --> 00:57:11,949
(LAUGHING)

952
00:57:12,658 --> 00:57:13,867
(GRUNTING)

953
00:57:13,993 --> 00:57:15,244
(SCREAMS)

954
00:57:18,664 --> 00:57:19,999
Oh!

955
00:57:20,124 --> 00:57:21,917
Look what you
brought out to play.

956
00:57:22,001 --> 00:57:24,253
You back the fuck off me!

957
00:57:24,461 --> 00:57:26,839
You think I'm scared
of you? Do you?

958
00:57:28,090 --> 00:57:31,844
I'm not scared of you.
'Cause I got God by my side.

959
00:57:32,511 --> 00:57:33,512
(YELLS)

960
00:57:33,679 --> 00:57:36,640
And he told me that you
ain't worth nothin'! See?

961
00:57:37,808 --> 00:57:39,601
See how he just
works through me?

962
00:57:39,810 --> 00:57:42,062
And he wants me to smite you.

963
00:57:43,314 --> 00:57:44,523
I see things.

964
00:57:50,863 --> 00:57:53,324
Hmm, she-devil.
That's what you are.

965
00:57:53,406 --> 00:57:56,869
You're the devil,
and I'm the angel of God.

966
00:57:56,994 --> 00:58:02,208
I mean, look at my dress. Have you seen it?
How's that for poetry?

967
00:58:02,916 --> 00:58:03,917
Hmm?

968
00:58:04,043 --> 00:58:06,670
'Cause God loves me.
He don't love you.

969
00:58:06,753 --> 00:58:08,421
'Cause you ain't
worthy of God's love,

970
00:58:08,547 --> 00:58:10,341
you ain't worthy
of nobody's love.

971
00:58:11,717 --> 00:58:13,052
(SHUDDERING)

972
00:58:14,469 --> 00:58:18,598
So I think it's
time that you die.

973
00:58:19,183 --> 00:58:20,226
No!

974
00:58:20,976 --> 00:58:22,519
(GRUNTING)

975
00:58:28,734 --> 00:58:31,028
<i>(O COME ALL YE FAITHFUL</i>
PLAYING)

976
00:58:31,111 --> 00:58:32,905
(GRUNTING)

977
00:58:36,445 --> 00:58:46,626
<font color="#ec14bd">Sync & corrections by honeybunny</font>
<font color="#ec14bd">www.addic7ed.com</font>

978
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