1
00:00:08,257 --> 00:00:10,300
(THEME SONG PLAYING)

2
00:01:05,747 --> 00:01:16,669
<font color=#ec14bd>Sync & corrections by honeybunny</font>
<font color=#ec14bd>www.addic7ed.com</font>

3
00:01:23,123 --> 00:01:24,415
Thank you so much.

4
00:01:25,167 --> 00:01:28,753
Where in the Nativity story are
we supposed to fit a juggler?

5
00:01:28,879 --> 00:01:31,048
You said you'd
keep an open mind.

6
00:01:31,173 --> 00:01:32,507
- There are more ways to celebrate the birth
- (SIGHS)

7
00:01:32,590 --> 00:01:34,383
of Christ besides
singin' <i>Joy to the World.</i>

8
00:01:34,551 --> 00:01:35,635
CHAPLAIN: Ladies.

9
00:01:35,719 --> 00:01:38,513
After the auditions, I was planning
to leave the show in your hands.

10
00:01:38,596 --> 00:01:40,349
But if you can't get along,
I will take it back

11
00:01:40,431 --> 00:01:41,933
and the pageant
will be two carols,

12
00:01:42,059 --> 00:01:44,561
- the lady who juggles, and good night.
- (SIGHS)

13
00:01:45,270 --> 00:01:46,563
We'll be fine.

14
00:01:46,688 --> 00:01:48,439
Of course, Chaplain.

15
00:01:48,857 --> 00:01:49,941
Who's next?

16
00:01:50,067 --> 00:01:51,902
(HIP-HOP CHRISTMAS CAROL
PLAYING)

17
00:01:56,907 --> 00:01:59,368
So a penguin and a farmer
walk into a bar...

18
00:01:59,450 --> 00:02:00,785
(YELLS)

19
00:02:00,911 --> 00:02:02,996
(CHRISTMAS RAP MUSIC PLAYING)

20
00:02:06,083 --> 00:02:07,584
This is a duck.

21
00:02:08,168 --> 00:02:09,502
(IMITATES DUCK)

22
00:02:09,586 --> 00:02:11,755
This is a dolphin.

23
00:02:12,089 --> 00:02:14,091
(IMITATES DOLPHIN)

24
00:02:15,425 --> 00:02:16,927
This is a goose.

25
00:02:17,094 --> 00:02:21,098
<i>Hark the Herald angels sing</i>

26
00:02:21,223 --> 00:02:25,060
<i>Glory to the newborn King</i>

27
00:02:25,143 --> 00:02:28,438
<i>Tidings of comfort and joy</i>
<i>Comfort and...</i>

28
00:02:28,605 --> 00:02:34,236
<i>Joy to the world,</i>
<i>the Lord has come</i>

29
00:02:34,444 --> 00:02:36,280
(BEATBOXING)

30
00:02:42,035 --> 00:02:44,288
(HUMMING <i>JINGLE BELLS)</i>

31
00:02:50,710 --> 00:02:52,087
Here we go.

32
00:02:54,298 --> 00:02:56,049
(CHRISTMAS RAP MUSIC PLAYING)

33
00:03:02,639 --> 00:03:07,311
<i>Dashin' through the snow</i>
<i>In a one horse open sleigh</i>

34
00:03:07,436 --> 00:03:11,231
<i>O'er the fields we go</i>
<i>Laughin' all the way</i>

35
00:03:11,315 --> 00:03:12,316
<i>Ha! Ha! Ha!</i>

36
00:03:12,441 --> 00:03:16,485
<i>Go, tell it on the mountain</i>

37
00:03:16,611 --> 00:03:20,407
<i>Over the hills and everywhere</i>

38
00:03:20,489 --> 00:03:24,453
<i>Go. Go, tell it</i>
<i>on the mountain...</i>

39
00:03:24,661 --> 00:03:26,163
(CHRISTMAS RAP MUSIC PLAYING)

40
00:03:31,835 --> 00:03:33,295
(EXHALES)

41
00:03:33,378 --> 00:03:35,672
(HUMMING <i>JINGLE BELLS)</i>

42
00:03:39,426 --> 00:03:42,679
Merry Christmas.
(BEATBOXING) Happy Hanukkah.

43
00:03:42,971 --> 00:03:43,972
(HUMMING <i>JINGLE BELLS)</i>

44
00:03:44,055 --> 00:03:45,265
Don't forget Kwanzaa.

45
00:03:45,390 --> 00:03:46,975
(CHRISTMAS RAP MUSIC PLAYING)

46
00:03:47,476 --> 00:03:48,477
(CHUCKLES)

47
00:03:48,559 --> 00:03:50,687
Watch out, old Jesus is back!

48
00:03:50,854 --> 00:03:51,896
Black Cindy!

49
00:03:53,064 --> 00:03:54,232
(IMITATES BIRD)

50
00:03:54,358 --> 00:03:56,985
I can sing, too. You know, in
addition to the ice skating.

51
00:03:57,110 --> 00:04:03,867
And so the penguin says, "Dude, he's
not an eggplant, he's retarded."

52
00:04:04,451 --> 00:04:06,036
(BOTH LAUGHING)

53
00:04:08,413 --> 00:04:10,207
It lost me at the umbrellas.

54
00:04:11,500 --> 00:04:17,547
"Be not afraid, for behold, I
bring good tidings of great joy."

55
00:04:17,881 --> 00:04:18,923
Thank you, Doggett.

56
00:04:19,632 --> 00:04:21,468
I assume by your
choice of material,

57
00:04:21,551 --> 00:04:23,553
you're interested in
the part of an angel?

58
00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:24,929
Yes, ma'am.
That's correct,

59
00:04:25,055 --> 00:04:27,891
because last year I was up
on this stage as the ox,

60
00:04:27,974 --> 00:04:30,060
and the year before
that I was the ass.

61
00:04:30,185 --> 00:04:31,769
And so, I dunno about y'all,
but I'm really startin'

62
00:04:31,895 --> 00:04:34,056
to feel like you're tryin'
to assassinate my character.

63
00:04:34,064 --> 00:04:35,440
'Cause I know that I am ready

64
00:04:35,565 --> 00:04:37,734
to shine my light
for the shepherds

65
00:04:37,817 --> 00:04:43,365
and announce across the land the
miracle of baby Jesus Christ.

66
00:04:45,909 --> 00:04:49,413
Mr. Healy, I know that
I said a lot of things.

67
00:04:49,538 --> 00:04:50,663
What do you want, Chapman?

68
00:04:50,747 --> 00:04:52,582
I need a marriage request form.

69
00:04:54,042 --> 00:04:57,587
You need a form
and my approval,

70
00:04:57,670 --> 00:04:59,089
which you don't have.

71
00:04:59,172 --> 00:05:00,298
Please, Mr. Healy.

72
00:05:00,424 --> 00:05:01,966
Marriage is a privilege.

73
00:05:02,092 --> 00:05:04,135
You are not entitled to it.

74
00:05:05,595 --> 00:05:10,808
And to use one of your own delightful
phrases, "Go fuck yourself."

75
00:05:13,728 --> 00:05:14,854
(CRUNCHING)

76
00:05:19,609 --> 00:05:20,985
Yup.

77
00:05:24,531 --> 00:05:27,200
What part of "out of
the kitchen effective

78
00:05:27,284 --> 00:05:29,327
"immediately" did
you not understand?

79
00:05:29,453 --> 00:05:33,123
Without my produce order, I have
to re-plan the whole holiday menu.

80
00:05:33,248 --> 00:05:34,488
I can't sit on
the bench all day

81
00:05:34,583 --> 00:05:36,460
while you play out
this little power trip.

82
00:05:36,543 --> 00:05:38,503
We'll all be eating
sardines for Christmas.

83
00:05:38,627 --> 00:05:40,629
You're gonna be
eating prison loaf

84
00:05:40,713 --> 00:05:44,092
when I drag you to Seg by that
purple pelt on your head.

85
00:05:44,759 --> 00:05:48,012
Now, have some self-respect
and don't make me do it.

86
00:05:50,515 --> 00:05:52,142
It feels serious in here.

87
00:05:52,225 --> 00:05:54,936
It smells good, though.
What kind of soup is that?

88
00:05:55,019 --> 00:05:57,355
Navy bean.
I'll save you a bowl.

89
00:05:57,606 --> 00:06:00,442
Gloria, you are reassigned
to the kitchen.

90
00:06:02,486 --> 00:06:06,864
Head cook, queen bee.
You start now.

91
00:06:10,201 --> 00:06:11,328
Can I bring my people?

92
00:06:11,495 --> 00:06:13,497
Whatever you need to do.

93
00:06:13,997 --> 00:06:15,499
Get the forms from O'Neill.

94
00:06:15,957 --> 00:06:17,875
This is bullshit
and you know it.

95
00:06:18,001 --> 00:06:20,128
This whole place will
fall apart when I'm gone.

96
00:06:20,211 --> 00:06:21,505
- Let's go.
- (GRUNTS)

97
00:06:25,842 --> 00:06:28,970
BENNETT: No, originally from Poughkeepsie,
well, outside of Poughkeepsie.

98
00:06:29,053 --> 00:06:30,096
(CHUCKLES)

99
00:06:30,180 --> 00:06:31,222
Go on.

100
00:06:31,348 --> 00:06:32,432
So, after the
tragedy with Miller,

101
00:06:32,516 --> 00:06:35,059
I was determined to find out if drugs
were in fact coming into the prison.

102
00:06:35,185 --> 00:06:37,521
I thought, um...
I had a hunch.

103
00:06:37,646 --> 00:06:40,126
So when the vegetable truck pulled
up, I went through the boxes.

104
00:06:40,148 --> 00:06:41,358
Let me stop you there.

105
00:06:41,441 --> 00:06:43,151
So, you went through
the boxes before they

106
00:06:43,234 --> 00:06:44,902
actually came
onto the property?

107
00:06:45,028 --> 00:06:46,655
That's correct.
At the gate.

108
00:06:46,863 --> 00:06:50,033
So you didn't find drugs in the
kitchen or on prison grounds?

109
00:06:50,492 --> 00:06:52,743
No, ma'am, the pills were
in a box of cabbage,

110
00:06:52,869 --> 00:06:54,162
and I brought them
straight to Caputo.

111
00:06:54,245 --> 00:06:55,288
Okay.

112
00:06:55,372 --> 00:06:57,582
Well, Bennett.

113
00:06:58,416 --> 00:06:59,501
Uh, John?

114
00:07:00,251 --> 00:07:01,378
Yeah.

115
00:07:02,711 --> 00:07:07,758
John, your intentions
were so good here,

116
00:07:07,884 --> 00:07:09,553
but from what
you're telling me,

117
00:07:09,678 --> 00:07:13,181
Neptune's Produce didn't
bring drugs into the prison.

118
00:07:13,264 --> 00:07:14,558
You did.

119
00:07:14,683 --> 00:07:15,975
(SCOFFS)

120
00:07:16,267 --> 00:07:17,935
(STAMMERS) What are you
talkin' about?

121
00:07:18,061 --> 00:07:22,023
You just said that you found
the drugs in the cabbage

122
00:07:22,106 --> 00:07:25,151
before the truck
pulled onto the campus,

123
00:07:25,235 --> 00:07:27,571
and then you brought
them to Caputo.

124
00:07:27,737 --> 00:07:29,614
- That's right, but...
- John,

125
00:07:30,740 --> 00:07:33,826
you are one of the good guys.
I know that.

126
00:07:34,077 --> 00:07:36,454
So, I want to protect you.

127
00:07:36,580 --> 00:07:39,583
I think it's best if you don't
fill out a report on this.

128
00:07:39,874 --> 00:07:42,043
But they were going
to the kitchen.

129
00:07:42,210 --> 00:07:43,420
It's not like the truck
was making stops

130
00:07:43,503 --> 00:07:45,338
between the front gate
and the loading dock.

131
00:07:45,422 --> 00:07:46,590
We don't know that.

132
00:07:47,382 --> 00:07:49,300
- Of course we do.
- Bennett,

133
00:07:49,759 --> 00:07:53,012
I am so impressed by
how you've handled things.

134
00:07:53,763 --> 00:07:56,516
And you know what? I am going
to authorize incentive pay.

135
00:07:56,600 --> 00:08:00,353
That's an extra $130 a month.

136
00:08:00,562 --> 00:08:02,021
- Thank you, but...
- Now...

137
00:08:02,105 --> 00:08:03,106
Hmm.

138
00:08:03,189 --> 00:08:06,568
You go do your job and let
me take it from here.

139
00:08:06,735 --> 00:08:07,944
Okay, John?

140
00:08:10,780 --> 00:08:12,990
- Howard, Larry's here!
- Hey, Pop.

141
00:08:13,116 --> 00:08:14,242
AMY: You want
a cup of decaf?

142
00:08:14,325 --> 00:08:16,286
I have this vanilla
coconut creamer I put in.

143
00:08:16,411 --> 00:08:17,495
It's delicious.
I'll make you one.

144
00:08:17,621 --> 00:08:18,622
- Thanks, Ma.
- Mmm.

145
00:08:19,247 --> 00:08:20,790
You read about this
Google Glass thing?

146
00:08:20,873 --> 00:08:22,208
We're gonna all
look like cyborgs.

147
00:08:22,751 --> 00:08:25,086
Cyborgs? Aren't those your
neighbors down in Florida?

148
00:08:25,211 --> 00:08:26,963
So, to what do we
owe this pleasure?

149
00:08:27,338 --> 00:08:29,716
I went to the movies on
86th, so, I was nearby.

150
00:08:29,799 --> 00:08:31,301
- Anything good?
- Nah.

151
00:08:31,384 --> 00:08:32,905
AMY: My friends
loved your radio thing.

152
00:08:32,969 --> 00:08:35,221
Everyone was talking
about it at mahjong.

153
00:08:35,305 --> 00:08:38,182
Did Piper enjoy it? I never
got the full report from you.

154
00:08:38,308 --> 00:08:41,311
Uh, she had some
issues with it.

155
00:08:41,436 --> 00:08:44,272
But, uh, we talked
them through.

156
00:08:45,273 --> 00:08:48,443
And then we kept talking and
at the end of our talk,

157
00:08:48,568 --> 00:08:51,154
we decided that we were gonna
get married right away.

158
00:08:51,237 --> 00:08:53,615
While she's still in there.

159
00:08:53,698 --> 00:08:54,991
As soon as possible.

160
00:08:55,116 --> 00:08:56,534
So...

161
00:08:58,578 --> 00:09:01,164
That's really the full
report, since you asked.

162
00:09:06,377 --> 00:09:08,505
I think this is the longest you
two have ever been silent.

163
00:09:08,588 --> 00:09:10,214
Why are you rushing this?

164
00:09:10,340 --> 00:09:12,842
I want to start my life, Ma.

165
00:09:12,967 --> 00:09:15,011
I want to know that
we are committed

166
00:09:15,094 --> 00:09:17,013
and that our commitment
is taken seriously.

167
00:09:17,138 --> 00:09:19,140
So, take it seriously.
You need a paper for that?

168
00:09:19,516 --> 00:09:21,851
You've known we were getting married, Dad.
This is not new information.

169
00:09:21,976 --> 00:09:24,646
The point is that Piper is
spending a year in an institution.

170
00:09:24,729 --> 00:09:27,106
You can't tell what she's gonna
be like when she gets out.

171
00:09:27,190 --> 00:09:29,359
Or when she gets
out, for that matter.

172
00:09:29,442 --> 00:09:30,777
Things are arbitrary in there.

173
00:09:30,860 --> 00:09:32,529
You give someone the wrong
look on the wrong day...

174
00:09:32,654 --> 00:09:33,655
(WHISTLES)

175
00:09:33,738 --> 00:09:35,782
Why don't you just wait and
see how things turn out?

176
00:09:35,865 --> 00:09:38,117
Yeah, if you meet someone else
in the meantime, you'll have...

177
00:09:38,201 --> 00:09:42,372
I don't want to wait and see. I don't
want to meet anyone else, okay?

178
00:09:42,455 --> 00:09:45,458
I love her and I want to spend
the rest of my life with her.

179
00:09:45,542 --> 00:09:47,126
In all her ways.

180
00:09:47,335 --> 00:09:49,504
She's had some
interesting ways so far.

181
00:09:49,587 --> 00:09:52,006
Girl ways. Boy ways. Drug ways.

182
00:09:52,089 --> 00:09:53,216
Ma!

183
00:09:53,550 --> 00:09:57,679
I get it, Larry, she's a natural blonde.
She's exotic for you.

184
00:09:58,388 --> 00:10:01,891
But exotic is for pets and vacations,
it's not for making a life.

185
00:10:02,726 --> 00:10:05,687
You think I'm that shallow?
I know her.

186
00:10:05,854 --> 00:10:07,897
She is exciting,
I'll give you that,

187
00:10:07,980 --> 00:10:10,024
but does she share your values?

188
00:10:10,191 --> 00:10:11,401
Will she be a good mother?

189
00:10:11,484 --> 00:10:14,237
Does she make you feel
good about yourself?

190
00:10:14,821 --> 00:10:15,864
I think so.

191
00:10:15,946 --> 00:10:17,156
Why, you can't remember?

192
00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:19,576
Yes, she does.
Of course she does.

193
00:10:20,577 --> 00:10:24,581
Look, we've been together a long time.
We're invested.

194
00:10:24,748 --> 00:10:26,457
Are you calculating
your opportunity costs

195
00:10:26,583 --> 00:10:27,834
or are you
discussing love here?

196
00:10:27,917 --> 00:10:30,253
AMY: Why don't you just
wait until she gets out?

197
00:10:30,420 --> 00:10:33,214
See if you're still compatible.
Spend some time.

198
00:10:33,297 --> 00:10:34,883
Larry, why are you
in such a hurry?

199
00:10:36,259 --> 00:10:37,635
It's not like
she's going anywhere.

200
00:10:37,761 --> 00:10:39,761
What, are you afraid she's
gonna meet someone else?

201
00:10:42,932 --> 00:10:44,141
(SIGHS)

202
00:10:45,017 --> 00:10:47,103
(WOMAN CHATTERING ON PA)

203
00:10:48,020 --> 00:10:50,189
ALEX: Well, if it isn't
the invisible woman.

204
00:10:50,273 --> 00:10:54,110
One intense talk about the
future and you disappear on me.

205
00:10:54,611 --> 00:10:57,822
Not a shocker, but I had
gotten my hopes up.

206
00:11:01,743 --> 00:11:03,286
I'm getting married.

207
00:11:04,078 --> 00:11:06,831
You've been getting married
since before you got here.

208
00:11:07,331 --> 00:11:08,958
(CHUCKLES)
This is not news.

209
00:11:11,335 --> 00:11:12,961
Say what you really mean.

210
00:11:17,801 --> 00:11:21,679
I pick him.
I pick Larry.

211
00:11:27,226 --> 00:11:28,853
Of course you do.

212
00:11:29,103 --> 00:11:30,855
I love you, too.

213
00:11:33,858 --> 00:11:35,485
But we both know
I don't have the balls

214
00:11:35,610 --> 00:11:37,194
to free fall through
life with you.

215
00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:39,155
No. You don't.

216
00:11:41,783 --> 00:11:44,327
- At least I made a decision, right?
- (SCOFFS)

217
00:11:44,702 --> 00:11:45,954
Aren't you proud of me?

218
00:11:47,330 --> 00:11:48,623
Piper... (SCOFFS)

219
00:11:51,542 --> 00:11:52,669
Fuck you.

220
00:11:52,836 --> 00:11:54,504
- Alex...
- Listen...

221
00:11:56,339 --> 00:11:57,799
Yes.

222
00:11:58,382 --> 00:11:59,717
You have made a decision.

223
00:12:00,426 --> 00:12:02,846
So here is what it
means going forward.

224
00:12:05,515 --> 00:12:09,811
You may not come running to me again.
Not with your problems.

225
00:12:09,978 --> 00:12:11,688
Not with your love.

226
00:12:12,897 --> 00:12:15,859
Not with your need
or sadness or anger,

227
00:12:15,942 --> 00:12:19,612
or even your laundry when it's not
specifically your laundry day.

228
00:12:21,197 --> 00:12:23,825
You may never come to me again.

229
00:12:26,577 --> 00:12:27,871
Ever.

230
00:12:41,759 --> 00:12:43,887
Well, what do you know?

231
00:12:44,052 --> 00:12:45,513
Jesus. What are
you doing here?

232
00:12:45,680 --> 00:12:48,182
Relax, man. Just here to
get my paycheck, shit.

233
00:12:48,265 --> 00:12:49,726
Oh, It's nice to see
you, too, buddy.

234
00:12:49,851 --> 00:12:51,728
Sorry. I'm just... It's
a surprise, I mean.

235
00:12:51,895 --> 00:12:54,564
Spit it out.
Have you seen her?

236
00:12:54,689 --> 00:12:55,982
You gave her my note, right?

237
00:12:56,064 --> 00:12:57,274
I wrote her a letter,
didn't put my name on it.

238
00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:58,985
But she'll know who it's from.
She say anything?

239
00:12:59,067 --> 00:13:00,570
- Who?
- Who?

240
00:13:00,695 --> 00:13:04,448
My girl, man! Fuck! Oh, God, I
can't keep my brain off of her!

241
00:13:04,574 --> 00:13:06,993
What do you think you're
gonna do about that?

242
00:13:07,117 --> 00:13:10,246
Man's greatest struggle in life
is to find a woman who's sexy

243
00:13:10,371 --> 00:13:11,956
but, like, still
could be a mom.

244
00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:13,624
She's that, Benny.

245
00:13:13,750 --> 00:13:16,669
I feel like she
could be the one.

246
00:13:16,836 --> 00:13:19,129
You know, I see myself
buying sheets with her.

247
00:13:19,255 --> 00:13:21,007
Taking trips to Mount Rushmore.

248
00:13:21,089 --> 00:13:22,090
That's great.

249
00:13:22,174 --> 00:13:24,134
Oh, she's got
these lips, Jesus!

250
00:13:24,260 --> 00:13:25,845
I had no idea. I always
dated women with thin lips.

251
00:13:25,929 --> 00:13:27,346
It's a fucking revelation.

252
00:13:27,430 --> 00:13:28,765
Isn't something on the
record with you guys now?

253
00:13:28,848 --> 00:13:30,224
I mean, how does that play out?

254
00:13:30,349 --> 00:13:31,601
I dunno, but whatever
it is, she's worth it.

255
00:13:31,684 --> 00:13:33,978
Hey, if you get any info, intel,
insight, fucking call me, all right?

256
00:13:34,102 --> 00:13:36,183
- Happy holidays, man.
- Hey, what about your paycheck?

257
00:13:38,106 --> 00:13:40,192
ANGIE: You know your
lines yet for the pageant?

258
00:13:40,276 --> 00:13:42,653
I dunno. 'Cause I
can't concentrate

259
00:13:42,779 --> 00:13:44,906
with Satan's Girl Scout
skipping around.

260
00:13:45,364 --> 00:13:48,826
I was a Girl Scout.
Troop 247.

261
00:13:49,201 --> 00:13:51,287
(CHUCKLES) They taught
us how to use tampons.

262
00:13:53,623 --> 00:13:58,002
You are still on
probationary term, Leanne.

263
00:13:58,126 --> 00:13:59,921
Don't be talking
about tampons while

264
00:14:00,004 --> 00:14:02,799
I'm sittin' here plottin' my revenge.
Thanks.

265
00:14:04,008 --> 00:14:05,509
Okay, I figured it out.

266
00:14:05,635 --> 00:14:07,637
She don't need God. That
was a misinterpretation.

267
00:14:07,762 --> 00:14:10,640
I went back to my book
to find some answers.

268
00:14:10,723 --> 00:14:12,516
I needed a clear answer.

269
00:14:12,642 --> 00:14:15,979
Luke, 19:27,
Jesus said,

270
00:14:16,104 --> 00:14:17,688
"But those mine enemies,

271
00:14:17,814 --> 00:14:20,775
"which would not that
I should reign over them,

272
00:14:20,858 --> 00:14:24,612
"bring hither, and
slay them before me."

273
00:14:25,488 --> 00:14:28,658
And I found it. I found it.
I turned right to the page.

274
00:14:28,783 --> 00:14:32,536
Now if that ain't a sign,
I don't know what is.

275
00:14:35,665 --> 00:14:39,335
Is it just me, or are these
eggs, like, extra spicy?

276
00:14:39,418 --> 00:14:40,962
My mouth is on fire.

277
00:14:42,839 --> 00:14:45,591
Okay, so, for Secret Santa,

278
00:14:45,675 --> 00:14:50,138
I've got you guys, Red, Norma,
Gina, I'm putting Alex in.

279
00:14:51,014 --> 00:14:52,515
Think we should ask Chapman?

280
00:14:52,598 --> 00:14:55,018
Hmm. I think she'd
give good gifts.

281
00:14:55,267 --> 00:14:58,688
Come on, you guys, Secret Santa
is supposed to be like family.

282
00:14:58,855 --> 00:15:01,649
What, you honestly think
Chapman and Vause are family?

283
00:15:01,732 --> 00:15:03,317
Well, I think it's nice.

284
00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:06,445
We don't have Mercy anymore.
And Tricia.

285
00:15:11,241 --> 00:15:14,370
Let's throw 'em in. Expand the circle.
It's fucking Christmas.

286
00:15:14,537 --> 00:15:17,456
All right. All right. Hey, you
gonna finish those eggs...

287
00:15:17,581 --> 00:15:21,794
No! No! You can't have these.
They're good this morning.

288
00:15:21,961 --> 00:15:24,296
Do not say that to Red.
Whatever you do.

289
00:15:24,380 --> 00:15:27,925
As far as we're concerned,
breakfast was a mess, <i>capisce?</i>

290
00:15:28,092 --> 00:15:29,552
Hmm. Yeah.
Of course.

291
00:15:29,677 --> 00:15:31,888
Sure. But when she gets
back in the kitchen,

292
00:15:31,971 --> 00:15:33,732
could you ask her to
make the eggs like this?

293
00:15:33,764 --> 00:15:35,892
Because they are delicious.

294
00:15:37,476 --> 00:15:39,353
You're both asking
for fuckin' trouble.

295
00:15:39,478 --> 00:15:40,855
(WHIMPERING)

296
00:15:40,938 --> 00:15:44,901
Chapman, hello.
Happy holidays.

297
00:15:45,109 --> 00:15:46,527
Happy holidays.

298
00:15:46,610 --> 00:15:48,487
You are a first time offender

299
00:15:48,571 --> 00:15:51,908
with a short sentence,
and you're white.

300
00:15:52,533 --> 00:15:54,368
Which means there
are a lot of programs

301
00:15:54,451 --> 00:15:56,245
here that you probably
are not aware of,

302
00:15:56,328 --> 00:15:58,414
because you're lucky
enough not to meet them.

303
00:15:58,539 --> 00:15:59,582
I'm sure.

304
00:15:59,707 --> 00:16:01,042
Like the GED program.

305
00:16:01,125 --> 00:16:04,003
We've allocated some funds to
bring that back in the new year.

306
00:16:04,212 --> 00:16:05,838
Well, that's great to hear.

307
00:16:06,547 --> 00:16:08,674
I don't personally
care for talk radio.

308
00:16:08,758 --> 00:16:12,595
The incessant chatting gives me
a migraine, but some people do,

309
00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:15,139
and apparently, some
of these little shows

310
00:16:15,264 --> 00:16:17,892
have fans that write articles.

311
00:16:18,517 --> 00:16:21,187
Oh. This is about
Larry's radio thing.

312
00:16:21,270 --> 00:16:24,732
Yeah. I believe he got
some of the facts wrong.

313
00:16:24,857 --> 00:16:27,110
But, you know,
it's not a news story.

314
00:16:27,235 --> 00:16:32,406
It's more like, um,
storytelling.

315
00:16:32,489 --> 00:16:33,616
Did you listen to it?

316
00:16:33,699 --> 00:16:34,700
No.

317
00:16:36,577 --> 00:16:38,621
So, here's what
I need from you.

318
00:16:38,746 --> 00:16:42,332
On the off chance that there's
a follow-up storytelling,

319
00:16:42,458 --> 00:16:47,171
it would be great if your husband
could be better informed

320
00:16:47,296 --> 00:16:49,632
about all we're trying
to accomplish here.

321
00:16:49,715 --> 00:16:51,259
Here's a list.

322
00:16:53,385 --> 00:16:55,805
(MAN CHATTERING ON PA)

323
00:16:58,933 --> 00:17:00,268
Of course.

324
00:17:01,644 --> 00:17:03,813
I would be happy to make
sure he's up to speed.

325
00:17:05,022 --> 00:17:08,067
I mean, that would only
serve all of us, right?

326
00:17:08,484 --> 00:17:09,485
That's right.

327
00:17:09,568 --> 00:17:10,653
But, you know,

328
00:17:10,736 --> 00:17:13,823
I'm not the only one who's
been talking to Larry.

329
00:17:13,906 --> 00:17:16,033
Counselor Healy
has spoken with him.

330
00:17:16,450 --> 00:17:18,661
Why was Healy speaking
to your husband?

331
00:17:19,078 --> 00:17:20,621
He called to tell him
I was having

332
00:17:20,704 --> 00:17:22,999
a lesbian affair
with another inmate.

333
00:17:23,624 --> 00:17:24,959
Oh, good Christ.

334
00:17:25,042 --> 00:17:26,794
No, no, that's okay.

335
00:17:28,045 --> 00:17:31,299
It's probably just another
case of misinformation.

336
00:17:33,009 --> 00:17:34,302
What's your angle, Chapman?

337
00:17:34,510 --> 00:17:38,681
You know, you keep referring
to Larry as my husband?

338
00:17:38,848 --> 00:17:41,934
But we're not married yet.
Though we do hope to be.

339
00:17:42,559 --> 00:17:45,980
So, that means, I need a
marriage request form,

340
00:17:46,063 --> 00:17:49,275
and, of course, your approval.

341
00:17:50,651 --> 00:17:55,865
And I would be happy to make
sure that my new husband

342
00:17:56,490 --> 00:17:59,243
is up to speed with all of the

343
00:18:00,494 --> 00:18:02,663
great work you're
doing here at Litchfield.

344
00:18:04,999 --> 00:18:07,918
I am sure we could
arrange something.

345
00:18:10,462 --> 00:18:12,381
(INDISTINCT MURMURING)

346
00:18:13,549 --> 00:18:16,302
All of us in the
kitchen, making tamales.

347
00:18:17,053 --> 00:18:18,804
Almost feels like
Christmas at home.

348
00:18:18,929 --> 00:18:19,930
Hmm.

349
00:18:20,264 --> 00:18:24,894
(IN SPANISH) Yea, except my Uncle Fernando
ain't around to stick his hand down my pants.

350
00:18:25,019 --> 00:18:26,229
Please, speak English.

351
00:18:26,354 --> 00:18:28,147
How about you learn Spanish?

352
00:18:28,231 --> 00:18:31,400
In my family, it's Cousin Frankie.
Fuckin' perv.

353
00:18:31,483 --> 00:18:34,653
My mother hit him with a brick
when he messed with my niece once.

354
00:18:34,737 --> 00:18:35,738
(SPEAKING SPANISH)

355
00:18:35,863 --> 00:18:37,406
(IN SPANISH)
She broke his cheekbone.

356
00:18:37,489 --> 00:18:41,410
Now half his face is kinda sunk in.
Serves him right.

357
00:18:41,618 --> 00:18:43,913
My daughter's with my cousin

358
00:18:43,996 --> 00:18:45,873
at some <i>marimacha</i>
collective she's part of.

359
00:18:46,790 --> 00:18:48,000
Not a dick for miles.

360
00:18:48,084 --> 00:18:49,244
(IN SPANISH)
And I want it so.

361
00:18:49,252 --> 00:18:52,255
- You ain't worried they'll turn her gay?
- She's a baby.

362
00:18:52,380 --> 00:18:53,741
(IN SPANISH)
And I only got a year.

363
00:18:55,591 --> 00:18:57,509
I'll get her back before
she knows anything.

364
00:18:59,428 --> 00:19:02,306
NICKY: Immigration! Hands
where I can see 'em.

365
00:19:04,350 --> 00:19:05,684
Hmm. Funny, <i>cabrona.</i>

366
00:19:07,770 --> 00:19:10,480
Hey, the Squirrel and
the Silent One nearby?

367
00:19:10,647 --> 00:19:13,609
Out back. But not too long,
'cause they got work to do.

368
00:19:13,776 --> 00:19:14,818
All right.

369
00:19:16,987 --> 00:19:20,699
Hey, hey, Tweedles, time to draw
your names for Secret Santa.

370
00:19:20,783 --> 00:19:23,452
Now, Norma, I'll remind
you again, it's a secret,

371
00:19:23,577 --> 00:19:25,371
so don't go blabbing
all over camp.

372
00:19:26,580 --> 00:19:29,083
If you pick your own name, just
put it back and pull again.

373
00:19:32,502 --> 00:19:33,503
Really?

374
00:19:34,422 --> 00:19:35,464
You seen Red?

375
00:19:35,547 --> 00:19:38,592
No, not yet.
How's she doing?

376
00:19:38,759 --> 00:19:41,762
She wouldn't leave the cube this morning.
She won't show up for work.

377
00:19:41,845 --> 00:19:42,888
I said, "They're
gonna throw you

378
00:19:42,972 --> 00:19:44,181
"in the SHU if you
don't go to work,"

379
00:19:44,307 --> 00:19:46,427
but then she gave me that
look that makes my ass leak.

380
00:19:47,643 --> 00:19:49,770
I am familiar with that look.

381
00:19:49,937 --> 00:19:51,480
You gotta talk to her.

382
00:19:53,149 --> 00:19:54,733
And what am I supposed to say?

383
00:19:54,817 --> 00:19:56,152
That it's all gonna be okay?

384
00:19:56,652 --> 00:19:59,571
She's a very bright woman.
She knows how fucked she is.

385
00:19:59,947 --> 00:20:03,826
Please, Nicky. She's
really not in a good way.

386
00:20:08,164 --> 00:20:09,498
I'll see what I can do.

387
00:20:11,625 --> 00:20:12,626
Ooh!

388
00:20:12,709 --> 00:20:14,462
Diaz got an interesting one.

389
00:20:14,544 --> 00:20:16,213
Mom Diaz or daughter Diaz?

390
00:20:16,339 --> 00:20:17,631
Daughter.

391
00:20:17,714 --> 00:20:21,135
"Dayanara, I think of
your body all the time.

392
00:20:21,510 --> 00:20:25,306
"I'll be doing something else,
something normal, like driving my car

393
00:20:25,555 --> 00:20:31,020
"or making spaghetti, and then I
see you there in my brain, naked.

394
00:20:31,354 --> 00:20:34,440
"I can barely write this
letter I get so turned on.

395
00:20:34,523 --> 00:20:36,733
"You cast a spell on me.

396
00:20:36,859 --> 00:20:40,904
"And, baby, I hope that
spell is never undone.

397
00:20:41,030 --> 00:20:43,032
"Until we see
each other again."

398
00:20:43,115 --> 00:20:47,077
Signed, "Hot for you."
But with the number four.

399
00:20:47,203 --> 00:20:48,537
- (LAUGHS)
- Poor schmuck.

400
00:20:48,662 --> 00:20:50,873
Guess he doesn't know
Mendez stuck it in her.

401
00:20:50,998 --> 00:20:52,624
And what's the
latest with that?

402
00:20:52,708 --> 00:20:53,876
So far just a suspension.

403
00:20:53,959 --> 00:20:55,801
Captain's not saying
anything about it, though.

404
00:20:55,836 --> 00:20:57,046
And he won't. Watch.

405
00:20:57,129 --> 00:20:59,173
Diaz'll get transferred
and Mendez will be back.

406
00:20:59,256 --> 00:21:01,050
They love that sadistic fuck.

407
00:21:01,133 --> 00:21:03,344
You just gotta let
the jizz settle first.

408
00:21:03,719 --> 00:21:04,970
(CHUCKLES)

409
00:21:05,221 --> 00:21:08,807
Hey, check this out. Vause got
one from Chapman's fiance.

410
00:21:08,932 --> 00:21:10,684
Ooh, scandal!

411
00:21:11,185 --> 00:21:15,398
He's asking, will she add
him to her visitation list?

412
00:21:15,481 --> 00:21:17,274
"We need to talk," he says.

413
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:19,040
You think they're
conspiring on something?

414
00:21:19,068 --> 00:21:20,569
Yeah. A threesome.

415
00:21:22,571 --> 00:21:25,782
Been thinkin' about that, have you?
Chapman and Vause?

416
00:21:26,325 --> 00:21:28,660
I'm not saying something
we don't all know.

417
00:21:28,744 --> 00:21:30,079
(MICROWAVE BELL DINGS)

418
00:21:30,204 --> 00:21:31,914
(WOMAN CHATTERING ON PA)

419
00:21:35,584 --> 00:21:38,337
There she is.
And standing up!

420
00:21:39,004 --> 00:21:40,381
I heard you'd gone horizontal.

421
00:21:40,506 --> 00:21:44,093
I'm not here. I'm outside
raking dirt somewhere.

422
00:21:44,260 --> 00:21:45,635
You don't see me.

423
00:21:46,803 --> 00:21:49,684
All right. (CLEARS THROAT) You gotta
pick your name for the Secret Santa.

424
00:21:50,015 --> 00:21:52,935
Not this year, Nicky.
I'm not in the mood.

425
00:21:53,102 --> 00:21:55,645
Come on, Red.
You love Christmas.

426
00:21:55,771 --> 00:21:59,108
Your sons come up, I mean,
with their big-haired wives.

427
00:21:59,233 --> 00:22:01,860
I can't wait to see what
Sparkle Tits wears this year.

428
00:22:01,944 --> 00:22:04,280
Sparkle Tits and
Yuri have split.

429
00:22:04,654 --> 00:22:07,283
She took the kids and the
tits and the guinea pig

430
00:22:07,366 --> 00:22:09,034
and moved to Sheepshead Bay.

431
00:22:15,165 --> 00:22:16,625
So, how was breakfast?

432
00:22:17,293 --> 00:22:20,879
Spicy. And my
potatoes were cold.

433
00:22:21,338 --> 00:22:23,173
But it wasn't a disaster?

434
00:22:25,342 --> 00:22:27,584
I heard that someone found a
long black hair in her eggs,

435
00:22:27,635 --> 00:22:29,305
but it went unconfirmed.

436
00:22:31,515 --> 00:22:35,102
What? Should we have
gone on a hunger strike?

437
00:22:35,311 --> 00:22:37,521
They all work in
kitchens now, don't they?

438
00:22:37,645 --> 00:22:40,107
They pop out of a trunk of a
car and learn to fry an egg.

439
00:22:40,190 --> 00:22:41,484
God bless America.

440
00:22:41,649 --> 00:22:43,819
You can't blame Gloria.

441
00:22:43,944 --> 00:22:46,064
She's just trying to make the
best of a bad situation.

442
00:22:46,238 --> 00:22:49,657
Fucking Mendez. This is not
how it was supposed to go.

443
00:22:49,825 --> 00:22:52,620
None of this is how
it's supposed to go.

444
00:22:53,162 --> 00:22:56,457
You're tougher than woodpecker lips.
You'll be okay.

445
00:22:59,627 --> 00:23:01,086
(SIGHS)

446
00:23:02,004 --> 00:23:06,091
Here. Just get whoever
it is something nice.

447
00:23:06,300 --> 00:23:09,928
It's good karma. Sometimes
that shit comes back around.

448
00:23:17,102 --> 00:23:18,686
(CLICKING COUNTER)

449
00:23:20,356 --> 00:23:21,689
CULLIVER: All clear!

450
00:23:24,026 --> 00:23:25,986
Heard you broke up
with your girl.

451
00:23:26,903 --> 00:23:30,032
Wow. Twitter's got
nothing on prison.

452
00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:31,741
You feel bad?

453
00:23:32,451 --> 00:23:34,328
I feel like I did
what I needed to do.

454
00:23:35,204 --> 00:23:36,288
She mad?

455
00:23:36,539 --> 00:23:37,540
Yep.

456
00:23:37,665 --> 00:23:40,042
Mad enough to leave
a dead rat on your locker?

457
00:23:40,125 --> 00:23:41,293
What?

458
00:23:42,710 --> 00:23:43,837
Whoa!

459
00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:46,423
What the fuck? No, no,
no, she didn't do that.

460
00:23:46,549 --> 00:23:49,092
Do you think that that thing
just crawled up here and died?

461
00:23:49,218 --> 00:23:51,554
No. This a message rat.

462
00:23:51,679 --> 00:23:53,721
Someone say they
gonna kill you.

463
00:23:53,805 --> 00:23:54,848
Say it right here.

464
00:23:55,391 --> 00:24:02,231
See, they meant "you're," apostrophe R-E.
As in, you are gonna die.

465
00:24:02,314 --> 00:24:04,732
But this some
ignorant bitch-ass shit.

466
00:24:04,858 --> 00:24:06,402
What's an Amalekite?

467
00:24:06,527 --> 00:24:08,111
I think it's some Bible stuff.

468
00:24:08,237 --> 00:24:10,406
Hey, yo, Black Cindy.
Come here.

469
00:24:10,573 --> 00:24:13,367
Stuff. I bet this was that
crazy fucking hillbilly.

470
00:24:13,492 --> 00:24:14,577
What's up?

471
00:24:14,702 --> 00:24:17,204
- You was raised in the church, right?
- I was,

472
00:24:19,164 --> 00:24:20,666
but like my daddy say...

473
00:24:20,748 --> 00:24:26,754
<i>The Lord don't take</i>
<i>the wuzzers into the kingdom</i>

474
00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:31,176
<i>He take the izzers Yeah!</i>

475
00:24:31,260 --> 00:24:33,178
(VOCALIZING)

476
00:24:33,262 --> 00:24:35,180
Uh, so what's an Amalekite?

477
00:24:36,014 --> 00:24:37,140
- Amalekite?
- Mmm-hmm.

478
00:24:37,266 --> 00:24:40,936
Oh, they real baddies in the Bible.
Attackin' everybody.

479
00:24:41,061 --> 00:24:43,939
Preying on the weak and shit.
A war tribe.

480
00:24:44,356 --> 00:24:48,736
Ooh, in Samuel, God told
Saul to kill 'em all.

481
00:24:48,818 --> 00:24:49,819
(GRUNTS)

482
00:24:49,945 --> 00:24:53,282
Utterly destroy them motherfuckers.
That what God say.

483
00:24:53,365 --> 00:24:56,744
Even the babies.
Even the cows.

484
00:24:57,453 --> 00:24:59,288
They so bad their
cows had to die.

485
00:24:59,913 --> 00:25:01,123
Say anything about rats?

486
00:25:01,915 --> 00:25:03,125
No. Mmm-mmm.

487
00:25:03,833 --> 00:25:06,128
Okay, this is nuts.

488
00:25:06,253 --> 00:25:07,337
It is.

489
00:25:07,755 --> 00:25:09,131
I have to tell someone.

490
00:25:09,965 --> 00:25:13,176
Right. 'Cause
COs love trouble.

491
00:25:13,594 --> 00:25:15,679
Man, you say something,

492
00:25:15,803 --> 00:25:18,140
they gonna put you in Seg
"for your own protection,"

493
00:25:18,223 --> 00:25:19,975
just so they ain't gotta deal.

494
00:25:20,058 --> 00:25:21,477
True, true.

495
00:25:21,602 --> 00:25:25,105
You gotta handle this yourself.
Straight up. Cut.

496
00:25:25,188 --> 00:25:26,398
(IMITATES CUTTING)

497
00:25:26,814 --> 00:25:28,015
Well, what am I supposed to do?

498
00:25:28,024 --> 00:25:30,152
Kill that
motherfucker. Out.

499
00:25:35,907 --> 00:25:37,660
I seen dead everything.

500
00:25:37,743 --> 00:25:39,620
Did you explain to
her about the inventory?

501
00:25:39,703 --> 00:25:42,331
That protein order has
to last into next month.

502
00:25:42,456 --> 00:25:43,540
I'll come back and
there will be nothing

503
00:25:43,666 --> 00:25:45,041
but scraps for me to work with.

504
00:25:45,167 --> 00:25:46,543
They all talk Spanish
when we're around.

505
00:25:46,669 --> 00:25:48,671
(SIGHS) Listen, Jesus.

506
00:25:48,836 --> 00:25:51,340
She may have fed
a <i>quinceanera</i> or two,

507
00:25:51,423 --> 00:25:53,258
but this will catch up
with her soon enough.

508
00:25:53,342 --> 00:25:55,843
Feeding an entire
prison population day in

509
00:25:55,969 --> 00:25:58,013
and day out is a whole
other pot of fish stew

510
00:25:58,096 --> 00:25:59,847
and when she
starts to drown in it,

511
00:25:59,973 --> 00:26:01,574
we'll be the ones
who will pay the price.

512
00:26:01,684 --> 00:26:05,145
It'll take us weeks to put
everything back into working order.

513
00:26:05,688 --> 00:26:07,564
This is what I need you to do.

514
00:26:08,357 --> 00:26:10,359
Speed up the inevitable.

515
00:26:11,735 --> 00:26:13,654
Overcook, over-salt.

516
00:26:13,861 --> 00:26:15,531
We need the inmates to revolt.

517
00:26:15,698 --> 00:26:17,616
Red, we're
on the B-team.

518
00:26:17,700 --> 00:26:19,618
We don't go anywhere
near food prep anymore.

519
00:26:19,702 --> 00:26:22,037
She's got us
stacking boxes, serving...

520
00:26:22,705 --> 00:26:24,665
Well, start serving
very slowly then.

521
00:26:24,748 --> 00:26:27,209
The meal times will
be all screwed up.

522
00:26:27,334 --> 00:26:28,876
It'll throw the whole camp off.

523
00:26:29,378 --> 00:26:30,546
Yeah, I don't know.

524
00:26:30,629 --> 00:26:32,840
I mean, she runs a pretty
tight ship, right, Norma?

525
00:26:32,922 --> 00:26:34,049
I don't think
we'll get away with it.

526
00:26:34,174 --> 00:26:36,593
Don't think, Gina.
Just do it.

527
00:26:36,719 --> 00:26:39,763
You want to be stacking boxes
for the rest of your stay?

528
00:26:39,887 --> 00:26:42,140
You listen to
what I'm telling you,

529
00:26:42,224 --> 00:26:44,059
you need to fuck
with that kitchen.

530
00:26:44,184 --> 00:26:45,265
You fuck with this kitchen,

531
00:26:45,268 --> 00:26:46,311
I'll have you
outta here so fast

532
00:26:46,395 --> 00:26:47,396
you'll think your
ass grew wheels.

533
00:26:47,521 --> 00:26:48,896
Hey, we just wanna
do a good job.

534
00:26:48,980 --> 00:26:51,274
Yeah? Then why you in here
sniffin' around the dry goods

535
00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:53,652
when I asked you to wipe
down the service station?

536
00:26:54,653 --> 00:26:58,574
Yeah, yeah, yeah, <i>mira,</i> I got four
kids, I know every trick there is.

537
00:26:59,241 --> 00:27:02,077
Now, I kept you here
'cause you know your shit.

538
00:27:02,786 --> 00:27:04,912
It's not your fault
that Red lost the kitchen.

539
00:27:05,038 --> 00:27:08,041
But we all know this
is one of the good jobs.

540
00:27:08,250 --> 00:27:10,419
Don't let Red take
you down with her.

541
00:27:13,088 --> 00:27:14,464
<i>Vamos,</i> let's go.

542
00:27:14,882 --> 00:27:16,924
PIPER: <i>Maybe she's just</i>
<i>trying to engage me.</i>

543
00:27:17,050 --> 00:27:20,554
She says that thing about the
Amalekites, piques my interest,

544
00:27:20,637 --> 00:27:23,682
and then she can get me to
go to Bible study group.

545
00:27:23,931 --> 00:27:25,100
(POUSSEY SCOFFING)

546
00:27:25,225 --> 00:27:26,435
She's a weird girl.

547
00:27:26,518 --> 00:27:28,800
- Yeah. "You gonna die" was really vague.
- BLACK CINDY: Ha!

548
00:27:28,854 --> 00:27:30,898
Like, totally open
to interpretation.

549
00:27:31,231 --> 00:27:34,443
You know that tweakhead is coming
for you, you better prepare.

550
00:27:34,526 --> 00:27:37,028
All right, listen,
chick steps up,

551
00:27:37,487 --> 00:27:39,281
kick her straight in the cooch.

552
00:27:39,364 --> 00:27:41,450
Hurts just as much on
girls as it do on guys.

553
00:27:41,575 --> 00:27:42,701
ALL: Mmm-hmm.

554
00:27:42,785 --> 00:27:45,120
Yeah, yeah, but if you
punchin', you go for the nose.

555
00:27:45,203 --> 00:27:46,580
Biff! Swap!
You know what I mean?

556
00:27:46,747 --> 00:27:49,999
I still say the pookacha.
Shot to the twat.

557
00:27:50,834 --> 00:27:52,544
Yo! Then, when
she doubled over,

558
00:27:52,669 --> 00:27:54,421
elbow straight to the back.
Like... (YELLS)

559
00:27:54,630 --> 00:27:56,882
- Bitch out!
- What? Gone!

560
00:27:56,964 --> 00:27:58,759
Pow, pow, pow,
pow! Whomp!

561
00:27:58,842 --> 00:28:00,302
(WOMEN CHATTERING EXCITEDLY)

562
00:28:01,261 --> 00:28:03,722
Okay, come on,
you guys, come on!

563
00:28:03,806 --> 00:28:06,224
With Red, I just had to come
up with a creative solution.

564
00:28:06,308 --> 00:28:08,101
So, maybe we should think
along those lines.

565
00:28:09,645 --> 00:28:11,480
Figure out something
she really needs.

566
00:28:12,815 --> 00:28:14,399
What is something
that she really needs?

567
00:28:14,817 --> 00:28:15,818
ALL: New teeth!

568
00:28:16,359 --> 00:28:17,778
(ALL LAUGHING)

569
00:28:17,985 --> 00:28:20,466
- BLACK CINDY: This is jacked up! Bitches in heat.
- POUSSEY: Yo.

570
00:28:26,411 --> 00:28:28,330
- He's in love with you.
- What are you talking about?

571
00:28:28,413 --> 00:28:30,540
Mendez. He's madly
in love with you.

572
00:28:30,833 --> 00:28:32,167
Clearly you gave
an amazing performance,

573
00:28:32,292 --> 00:28:34,962
because the man
is head over heels.

574
00:28:35,044 --> 00:28:36,505
Unless it wasn't a performance.

575
00:28:36,672 --> 00:28:38,507
- You think I liked it?
- I don't know.

576
00:28:38,632 --> 00:28:41,343
All I know is that he sure did
and I had to hear all about it,

577
00:28:41,426 --> 00:28:43,052
and now I can
barely look at you.

578
00:28:43,178 --> 00:28:45,889
John, it's our baby.

579
00:28:46,473 --> 00:28:48,057
Well, it can go
live with George.

580
00:28:48,183 --> 00:28:49,852
- Who's George?
- Mendez!

581
00:28:52,521 --> 00:28:53,772
(INAUDIBLE)

582
00:28:56,900 --> 00:28:58,485
He'll think it's
his love child anyway.

583
00:29:00,028 --> 00:29:02,071
(SIGHS) I'll ask him
to get a DNA test.

584
00:29:02,197 --> 00:29:03,406
Then they'll fire me.

585
00:29:03,532 --> 00:29:05,367
They're not gonna
know it's yours.

586
00:29:05,492 --> 00:29:07,285
They'll just know it's not his.

587
00:29:07,369 --> 00:29:09,329
Then Cesar will pick it
up from the hospital

588
00:29:09,412 --> 00:29:10,580
and he'll bring it to you.

589
00:29:10,706 --> 00:29:11,707
If the test
proves it's not his,

590
00:29:11,832 --> 00:29:13,750
they're gonna want to know how
you got pregnant in prison,

591
00:29:13,876 --> 00:29:17,880
and then we're back to where we started.
Daya, it was a bad plan.

592
00:29:18,129 --> 00:29:19,840
And you had sex with him.

593
00:29:21,049 --> 00:29:24,177
John, I love you.

594
00:29:25,554 --> 00:29:27,222
I hate him.

595
00:29:28,431 --> 00:29:31,560
I only love you.
You gotta know that.

596
00:29:32,227 --> 00:29:33,436
I can't do this.

597
00:29:33,603 --> 00:29:34,688
What...

598
00:29:35,564 --> 00:29:36,899
You missed a spot.

599
00:29:45,532 --> 00:29:47,367
ALEX: Come on, Lorna,
tell us who you got!

600
00:29:47,534 --> 00:29:49,036
No! It's a secret!

601
00:29:49,536 --> 00:29:50,913
BIG BOO: (LAUGHS)
Some secret.

602
00:29:50,996 --> 00:29:52,288
You just got finished asking me

603
00:29:52,414 --> 00:29:55,083
what my favorite color is
and if my feet get cold.

604
00:29:58,461 --> 00:29:59,922
If I was making you slippers,

605
00:30:00,171 --> 00:30:02,507
which I am not,
I wouldn't be anymore.

606
00:30:02,591 --> 00:30:06,428
So, you just get used to having
cold feet that ain't magenta!

607
00:30:07,262 --> 00:30:08,597
(BOTH SNICKERING)

608
00:30:09,598 --> 00:30:12,434
Wow. Please start
fucking her again.

609
00:30:12,726 --> 00:30:14,770
Yeah, you only get one
chance to break my heart.

610
00:30:15,062 --> 00:30:16,271
(CHUCKLES)

611
00:30:16,438 --> 00:30:17,856
Hey, remember that, Vause.

612
00:30:18,231 --> 00:30:21,944
Such self-restraint. It's
impressive for a junkie.

613
00:30:22,444 --> 00:30:24,446
Well, yeah, that's with drugs.

614
00:30:24,529 --> 00:30:25,572
Look, you gotta remember,

615
00:30:25,655 --> 00:30:28,199
I had a mom who sent me to
overnight camp when I was three.

616
00:30:28,283 --> 00:30:30,953
I have mastered the art
of shutting people off.

617
00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:33,961
Yeah, maybe I should go
into training with you.

618
00:30:34,330 --> 00:30:35,832
What, Chapman?

619
00:30:37,084 --> 00:30:41,254
Sucks. I'm sorry, kid.
I know she got to you.

620
00:30:42,089 --> 00:30:46,134
Hey, how about we both say a
little prayer that she gets fat

621
00:30:46,259 --> 00:30:48,177
and stops shaving her legs?

622
00:30:49,846 --> 00:30:50,973
Done.

623
00:30:54,559 --> 00:30:55,644
Look.

624
00:30:59,147 --> 00:31:04,235
From your son? Oh, Sophia,
I'm so happy for you.

625
00:31:05,236 --> 00:31:07,823
Look, he didn't
write anything else.

626
00:31:07,990 --> 00:31:11,994
But that's his signature. My wife
didn't fake-sign it for him this time.

627
00:31:12,119 --> 00:31:13,161
Oh!

628
00:31:13,745 --> 00:31:14,997
So that's something, right?

629
00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:16,205
Mmm-hmm.

630
00:31:16,331 --> 00:31:20,168
That's something. I just
wish he'd talk to me.

631
00:31:20,418 --> 00:31:21,920
He's starting to.

632
00:31:25,173 --> 00:31:28,343
Sisters. You all sure
about this part for me?

633
00:31:28,718 --> 00:31:32,139
Have faith, dear.
Your voice resonates.

634
00:31:33,181 --> 00:31:37,477
Yeah. You right. I should
just put the past behind me.

635
00:31:37,978 --> 00:31:39,729
No way that could happen again.

636
00:31:48,113 --> 00:31:50,115
(INHALES DEEPLY)

637
00:31:59,666 --> 00:32:00,750
Alex.

638
00:32:01,543 --> 00:32:02,544
Yeah?

639
00:32:03,128 --> 00:32:06,214
You're tall.

640
00:32:06,631 --> 00:32:07,632
(SCOFFS)

641
00:32:07,716 --> 00:32:09,300
I've been told.

642
00:32:16,432 --> 00:32:17,809
(SIGHS)

643
00:32:20,478 --> 00:32:21,563
(CLEARS THROAT)

644
00:32:21,688 --> 00:32:22,689
Um...

645
00:32:25,441 --> 00:32:27,235
Sorry, this is, uh...

646
00:32:28,403 --> 00:32:29,404
(SCOFFS)

647
00:32:29,779 --> 00:32:32,908
Had so many things planned
to say to you, but now I...

648
00:32:33,909 --> 00:32:36,119
I'm just picturing you...

649
00:32:36,244 --> 00:32:37,662
Got you all flustered?

650
00:32:37,746 --> 00:32:39,247
You got me pissed off.

651
00:32:39,748 --> 00:32:41,416
How many times do
you think you can

652
00:32:41,499 --> 00:32:43,835
come around and fuck up
Piper's life, huh?

653
00:32:43,919 --> 00:32:48,173
I don't know what
psychic black void

654
00:32:48,882 --> 00:32:50,175
your little game
with her fills,

655
00:32:50,341 --> 00:32:54,137
but you need to end it now
and stay away from her.

656
00:32:55,097 --> 00:32:59,601
Not a problem. She's all yours, champ.
We done here?

657
00:32:59,809 --> 00:33:01,686
Whoa, whoa! Whoa.
Hold on.

658
00:33:05,273 --> 00:33:08,985
Suddenly she's all mine
when you have been

659
00:33:09,611 --> 00:33:12,030
working her over
since she got here?

660
00:33:12,614 --> 00:33:17,077
Working her over? Are
you fucking kidding me?

661
00:33:18,745 --> 00:33:24,876
She came to me. Dragged me into
that chapel and fucked me.

662
00:33:29,631 --> 00:33:34,636
Surprised me, too. She never
used to be the aggressor.

663
00:33:36,179 --> 00:33:39,057
I guess it was a new color
she was trying on.

664
00:33:39,141 --> 00:33:41,184
Or maybe she was bored.
Uh, who knows?

665
00:33:41,810 --> 00:33:43,061
You fucked in a chapel?

666
00:33:43,228 --> 00:33:44,562
It's prison.

667
00:33:44,646 --> 00:33:45,688
(RADIO CHATTER)

668
00:33:46,856 --> 00:33:48,650
There aren't
a whole lot of options.

669
00:33:48,775 --> 00:33:50,235
But I'm done.

670
00:33:51,861 --> 00:33:53,862
I can't survive another
spin on her merry-go-round.

671
00:33:53,905 --> 00:33:58,618
And clearly, you're still into
it, so (SCOFFS) enjoy the ride.

672
00:33:58,952 --> 00:34:01,746
Fuck you. It's not a ride.
We're getting married.

673
00:34:02,455 --> 00:34:03,456
Great.

674
00:34:06,251 --> 00:34:07,669
So why are you here?

675
00:34:08,170 --> 00:34:09,796
I wanted to meet you.

676
00:34:13,883 --> 00:34:17,012
Larry, my heart is with you.

677
00:34:18,888 --> 00:34:22,475
She's hot.
She's read everything.

678
00:34:24,519 --> 00:34:26,562
(SIGHS) We both know
what she's like in bed.

679
00:34:31,026 --> 00:34:33,195
But she is fucked up.

680
00:34:34,403 --> 00:34:36,865
I know it, and you do, too.

681
00:34:37,532 --> 00:34:40,368
Or else you wouldn't be here
warning me to stay away.

682
00:34:41,536 --> 00:34:43,371
I'm not your problem.

683
00:34:54,549 --> 00:34:56,384
(SHOWER RUNNING)

684
00:35:07,103 --> 00:35:08,563
Hey, College.

685
00:35:08,646 --> 00:35:09,814
(GASPS)

686
00:35:11,149 --> 00:35:13,902
- What are you...
- Don't be acting all modest.

687
00:35:13,985 --> 00:35:16,238
You're about as
indecent as they come.

688
00:35:17,572 --> 00:35:22,160
Okay. Let me dry off and
we can talk about this.

689
00:35:22,911 --> 00:35:25,747
Bathroom's full.
Try back later.

690
00:35:26,289 --> 00:35:27,456
(TISKS)

691
00:35:33,755 --> 00:35:34,923
(DOOR CLOSES)

692
00:35:35,506 --> 00:35:36,799
I don't wanna talk.

693
00:35:37,926 --> 00:35:40,929
I'm not going to let you
intimidate me, Tiffany.

694
00:35:42,138 --> 00:35:43,265
What do you want?

695
00:35:44,099 --> 00:35:45,641
What do I want?

696
00:35:47,352 --> 00:35:48,603
(GRUNTS)
Hmm.

697
00:35:48,728 --> 00:35:52,648
I want you to feel the
same pain on your body

698
00:35:52,899 --> 00:35:57,070
as you have made
me feel in my heart.

699
00:36:02,867 --> 00:36:04,827
I know, it's not much.

700
00:36:05,578 --> 00:36:08,664
But it's sharp, it's sharp.
Do you wanna see?

701
00:36:19,634 --> 00:36:20,760
Hmm.

702
00:36:21,010 --> 00:36:22,011
(GASPS)

703
00:36:26,641 --> 00:36:27,642
(WHISTLES)

704
00:36:28,393 --> 00:36:29,436
Out.

705
00:36:29,518 --> 00:36:30,937
I thought only lady COs
can go in the bathroom.

706
00:36:31,020 --> 00:36:33,481
DONALDSON: Hey! This is not
your assigned bathroom,

707
00:36:33,564 --> 00:36:35,650
you are out of bounds.
Out, now!

708
00:36:44,159 --> 00:36:46,911
I guess next time we're gonna
get more creative. That's okay.

709
00:36:46,995 --> 00:36:48,163
DONALDSON: Doggett!

710
00:36:48,330 --> 00:36:49,831
I got some other ideas.

711
00:36:50,165 --> 00:36:53,168
- Doggett!
- Yes. Yes, yes, yes, coming.

712
00:37:03,011 --> 00:37:04,512
(SHUDDERING)

713
00:37:12,395 --> 00:37:13,396
You okay?

714
00:37:14,522 --> 00:37:19,110
No. I'm not equipped
to deal with this.

715
00:37:19,194 --> 00:37:20,403
I have to tell someone.

716
00:37:20,945 --> 00:37:22,697
Please, she is a bitty thing.

717
00:37:22,780 --> 00:37:24,866
You can take her. Easy.

718
00:37:24,949 --> 00:37:27,202
And when you do,
score is settled.

719
00:37:27,285 --> 00:37:29,996
Girl, stop being
a bitch-ass bitch.

720
00:37:31,039 --> 00:37:35,210
You got a little blood on your nip-nip there.
Rinse that off.

721
00:37:43,801 --> 00:37:45,512
(SNORING)

722
00:37:50,766 --> 00:37:52,894
(RADIO CHATTER)

723
00:37:55,938 --> 00:37:58,024
(WOMEN SNICKERING)

724
00:38:44,987 --> 00:38:46,668
MARITZA AND FLACA:
Five, six, seven, eight.

725
00:38:49,700 --> 00:38:52,328
Pop, turn and shake.

726
00:38:52,454 --> 00:38:54,539
MARITZA: No,
a shimmy now. Daya!

727
00:38:54,622 --> 00:38:55,664
Okay.

728
00:38:55,790 --> 00:38:57,708
- Got it.
- ALL: Five, six, seven, eight.

729
00:38:59,961 --> 00:39:04,757
Hip, hip, ha, ha,
pop, pop, turn and shimmy.

730
00:39:04,966 --> 00:39:06,342
- No, <i>pero</i> you gotta pop!
- Booty.

731
00:39:06,468 --> 00:39:07,469
- All right!
- Okay, okay.

732
00:39:07,594 --> 00:39:08,928
And shake your
booty at the end.

733
00:39:09,095 --> 00:39:10,638
WOMEN: Five, six,
seven, eight.

734
00:39:10,972 --> 00:39:13,292
<i>Uno, dos, tres, cuatro,</i> hip,
hip, ha, ha, pop, pop, turn...

735
00:39:13,308 --> 00:39:16,185
Ladies, this is not a recreational area.
Get to work. Now!

736
00:39:17,395 --> 00:39:19,397
Whoa, lighten up.
It's the holidays.

737
00:39:19,481 --> 00:39:20,482
I said back to work.

738
00:39:20,607 --> 00:39:22,484
Okay, but we were just
rehearsing our dance.

739
00:39:22,609 --> 00:39:24,819
The rules are put in
place for your safety.

740
00:39:26,195 --> 00:39:27,822
All right.
(SIGHS)

741
00:39:27,947 --> 00:39:29,907
(IN SPANISH) Daya needs to tell
her boyfriend to lighten up.

742
00:39:29,991 --> 00:39:30,992
I know, right?

743
00:39:31,117 --> 00:39:33,911
I understand some Spanish, Flaca.
He's not my boyfriend.

744
00:39:33,995 --> 00:39:35,330
What did you say, inmate?

745
00:39:37,540 --> 00:39:38,625
Nothing.

746
00:39:38,833 --> 00:39:40,543
That's right.
You say nothing.

747
00:39:40,668 --> 00:39:41,961
You have nothing to say.

748
00:39:45,673 --> 00:39:47,175
- (GRUNTS)
- (WOMEN SCREAMING)

749
00:39:53,222 --> 00:39:54,641
(ALARM BLARING)

750
00:39:54,723 --> 00:39:56,100
(YELLING)

751
00:39:58,478 --> 00:40:00,021
(WHIMPERS)

752
00:40:04,984 --> 00:40:06,611
I don't see any
electrical issues.

753
00:40:07,028 --> 00:40:08,428
Appliance seems to
be in good shape.

754
00:40:08,988 --> 00:40:13,242
Just full of grease. So I'm
gonna say grease fire.

755
00:40:13,701 --> 00:40:15,537
Brilliant. Thank you.

756
00:40:18,706 --> 00:40:20,500
How bad did Murphy seem to you?

757
00:40:20,667 --> 00:40:21,959
BENNETT: It's hard to say.

758
00:40:22,043 --> 00:40:24,712
You know, after she got sprayed,
there was a lot of foam.

759
00:40:26,255 --> 00:40:30,009
She was burned, all over her
arm and, like, her clavicle.

760
00:40:30,092 --> 00:40:32,303
I seen it before
Maritza spritzed.

761
00:40:32,595 --> 00:40:36,224
Mendoza, part of your
job is to make sure

762
00:40:36,349 --> 00:40:38,267
these ovens are
cleaned properly.

763
00:40:38,393 --> 00:40:40,895
Don't make me regret
putting you in charge.

764
00:40:41,062 --> 00:40:42,647
I did clean those ovens.

765
00:40:43,189 --> 00:40:45,191
Well, clearly not well enough.

766
00:40:45,567 --> 00:40:47,902
Yeah. Clearly.

767
00:40:57,370 --> 00:40:59,121
All right, get back to work.

768
00:41:01,332 --> 00:41:03,000
MAN ON PA:
<i>Attention, ladies,</i>

769
00:41:03,084 --> 00:41:05,961
<i>breakfast has been</i>
<i>temporarily delayed.</i>

770
00:41:08,673 --> 00:41:09,757
Are you sure you're okay?

771
00:41:09,924 --> 00:41:11,967
Yeah, it just
scared me a little.

772
00:41:13,052 --> 00:41:14,345
Me, too.

773
00:41:18,933 --> 00:41:20,101
CAPUTO: Bennett!

774
00:41:23,020 --> 00:41:24,480
We have more to discuss.

775
00:41:24,606 --> 00:41:25,898
Yes, sir.

776
00:41:31,946 --> 00:41:34,532
MAN: <i>Blocks B and C</i>
<i>resume normal program.</i>

777
00:41:35,908 --> 00:41:39,828
Talk to the medic, get a detailed
account of Murphy's injuries,

778
00:41:39,954 --> 00:41:41,748
bring me the report
by the end of the day.

779
00:41:41,830 --> 00:41:44,083
Speaking of reports,
where's the drug bust?

780
00:41:44,166 --> 00:41:47,211
I want to get that filed.
That is a big win for us.

781
00:41:47,295 --> 00:41:50,005
Yeah, can I talk
to you about that?

782
00:41:50,131 --> 00:41:54,093
I had this meeting
or something with Fig.

783
00:41:54,594 --> 00:41:56,137
Christ. What happened?

784
00:41:57,805 --> 00:42:00,182
She is a pencil
pusher, Bennett.

785
00:42:00,308 --> 00:42:03,436
You and I, we are
battling in the trenches.

786
00:42:04,604 --> 00:42:07,898
She told me not to
file a report about the...

787
00:42:10,192 --> 00:42:13,488
About the drugs. She said an
investigation could point to me.

788
00:42:13,780 --> 00:42:15,657
That little...

789
00:42:15,864 --> 00:42:17,158
(GRUNTS)

790
00:42:17,408 --> 00:42:18,660
(SIGHS)

791
00:42:19,160 --> 00:42:22,622
She's cutting off your
balls to protect her own.

792
00:42:22,705 --> 00:42:25,166
You write up
that report, Bennett,

793
00:42:25,249 --> 00:42:26,375
and you bring it to me.

794
00:42:26,501 --> 00:42:29,712
That way, in fact, you
did not file it. I did.

795
00:42:30,546 --> 00:42:31,673
Yes, sir.

796
00:42:32,006 --> 00:42:34,049
This place fucking stinks.

797
00:42:34,676 --> 00:42:36,511
We'll open some windows, sir.

798
00:42:37,928 --> 00:42:39,847
That's not what
I meant, Bennett.

799
00:42:39,972 --> 00:42:41,349
That's not what I meant.

800
00:42:50,858 --> 00:42:52,401
Merry Christmas, Chapman.

801
00:42:59,158 --> 00:43:00,535
It's not Christmas yet.

802
00:43:00,743 --> 00:43:04,539
Yeah, well, it came
early for you this year.

803
00:43:05,289 --> 00:43:07,625
There you go. Go on.

804
00:43:09,877 --> 00:43:11,671
You big ho, ho, ho.

805
00:43:11,920 --> 00:43:12,921
(CHUCKLES)

806
00:43:40,742 --> 00:43:44,953
I never meant to hurt anyone, Norma.
Least of all Gina.

807
00:43:45,079 --> 00:43:47,456
She's my daughter.
You know that.

808
00:43:48,249 --> 00:43:49,625
(SOBBING)

809
00:44:01,763 --> 00:44:04,932
Yo. Check it out.
(LAUGHING)

810
00:44:05,933 --> 00:44:09,604
Whoa! You put a lot
of work into that.

811
00:44:09,687 --> 00:44:12,273
Who knew you were so
fucking thoughtful? Jesus.

812
00:44:12,356 --> 00:44:16,026
Yeah. I have my moments.
Think she'll like it?

813
00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:18,446
I don't know if she'll
appreciate the groom.

814
00:44:19,071 --> 00:44:21,282
What happened to that iron
gate keeping your heart shut?

815
00:44:21,407 --> 00:44:22,991
It's a joke.

816
00:44:23,200 --> 00:44:24,285
Is it?

817
00:44:33,168 --> 00:44:34,837
What are you doing there?

818
00:44:35,630 --> 00:44:36,631
Making you a pair of earrings.

819
00:44:36,714 --> 00:44:39,174
Wait! You asshole! That's
supposed to be a surprise.

820
00:44:39,383 --> 00:44:40,676
Surprise!

821
00:44:41,677 --> 00:44:42,678
(CHUCKLES)

822
00:44:43,095 --> 00:44:44,305
These suck.

823
00:44:45,681 --> 00:44:50,770
God! I'm just not crafty. I
don't know what to give you.

824
00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:57,443
Man, you're right. It should be a boy.
It's not funny.

825
00:45:03,950 --> 00:45:08,120
Hey. I think I know what
I want for Christmas.

826
00:45:08,788 --> 00:45:09,914
Yeah?

827
00:45:09,996 --> 00:45:11,123
Yeah.

828
00:45:36,691 --> 00:45:37,942
(CHUCKLES)

829
00:45:39,861 --> 00:45:41,027
(BELL DINGS)

830
00:46:13,811 --> 00:46:14,896
MARIA: Next.

831
00:46:31,203 --> 00:46:33,831
I got the marriage form.
It's all filled out.

832
00:46:34,080 --> 00:46:35,416
Good. Good.

833
00:46:37,960 --> 00:46:39,085
If I make it.

834
00:46:39,253 --> 00:46:40,504
If you make it?

835
00:46:40,671 --> 00:46:43,799
Someone's trying to kill me.
A Christian meth head.

836
00:46:44,050 --> 00:46:45,593
Someone else is
trying to kill you?

837
00:46:45,760 --> 00:46:48,888
Hey, it's not my fault. I
didn't ask for this. It just...

838
00:46:49,055 --> 00:46:53,601
It just happened? It happened.
The drama happened to find you.

839
00:46:53,684 --> 00:46:56,437
Like it always does.
'Cause you need it.

840
00:46:57,229 --> 00:46:58,731
Where did that come from?

841
00:47:00,524 --> 00:47:01,901
I met Alex.

842
00:47:04,737 --> 00:47:06,447
What do you mean you met Alex?

843
00:47:06,781 --> 00:47:09,115
I wanted to tell
her to stay away.

844
00:47:10,284 --> 00:47:13,454
I wanted her to see that I was a
real person that she was hurting.

845
00:47:13,537 --> 00:47:16,540
But actually, Piper,

846
00:47:16,624 --> 00:47:18,504
you were the one that was
doing all the hurting.

847
00:47:19,293 --> 00:47:21,503
Whatever she said
is a lie, Larry.

848
00:47:21,629 --> 00:47:24,799
She's a crazy,
manipulative liar.

849
00:47:25,257 --> 00:47:27,093
<i>This is unbelievable.</i>

850
00:47:28,761 --> 00:47:31,555
I can't believe you didn't trust
me to handle this on my own.

851
00:47:31,722 --> 00:47:36,018
No, I didn't. I didn't, and
doesn't that say so much?

852
00:47:36,518 --> 00:47:39,105
<i>I can't be on your</i>
<i>ride anymore, Piper.</i>

853
00:47:39,271 --> 00:47:43,317
I don't think we share the same values.
Why was I in such a hurry?

854
00:47:43,400 --> 00:47:45,151
Because I was afraid.

855
00:47:48,030 --> 00:47:50,825
You shouldn't be with
someone out of fear.

856
00:47:53,953 --> 00:47:56,998
No. No.

857
00:47:58,499 --> 00:48:00,960
No, no, no.

858
00:48:02,920 --> 00:48:04,672
I'm sorry. I...

859
00:48:07,633 --> 00:48:08,843
Bye, Piper.

860
00:48:10,260 --> 00:48:12,262
No. Larry.

861
00:48:17,018 --> 00:48:18,268
(SIGHS)

862
00:48:21,480 --> 00:48:23,524
No. No.

863
00:48:29,030 --> 00:48:30,156
Alex.

864
00:48:30,739 --> 00:48:33,534
Are you kidding me?
Get out.

865
00:48:34,035 --> 00:48:36,620
- Alex...
- Get out. No fucking way.

866
00:48:38,413 --> 00:48:39,665
Get out.

867
00:48:40,541 --> 00:48:42,043
You heard the lady.

868
00:48:53,721 --> 00:48:55,181
(CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING)

869
00:48:55,347 --> 00:48:56,682
(INMATES CHATTERING)

870
00:49:30,841 --> 00:49:33,135
Another holiday.
Can you believe this?

871
00:49:33,427 --> 00:49:37,431
I can because I have eyes.
And a calendar.

872
00:49:38,891 --> 00:49:41,852
Healy, if you ever
call an inmate's family

873
00:49:41,936 --> 00:49:43,979
again with your
lesbian witch hunt shit,

874
00:49:44,105 --> 00:49:45,731
I will destroy you.

875
00:49:47,066 --> 00:49:48,859
Your mail-order bride
will leave you,

876
00:49:48,943 --> 00:49:51,403
and you will never work again.

877
00:49:51,486 --> 00:49:52,988
Get some fucking therapy, man.

878
00:50:06,710 --> 00:50:07,878
- Hey.
- Hey.

879
00:50:07,962 --> 00:50:09,337
I heard you were coming.

880
00:50:10,131 --> 00:50:12,091
I would have sent
these to the hospital,

881
00:50:14,718 --> 00:50:17,138
but I thought I'd rather
deliver them in person.

882
00:50:17,471 --> 00:50:22,643
Wow, Mr. Caputo,
Joe, thank you.

883
00:50:23,269 --> 00:50:25,062
That's really thoughtful.

884
00:50:27,148 --> 00:50:29,775
Oh, this is
my boyfriend, Stephen.

885
00:50:29,858 --> 00:50:31,235
This is Joe Caputo.

886
00:50:31,317 --> 00:50:33,654
- Hello.
- Hello, Stephen.

887
00:50:33,946 --> 00:50:35,030
(CHUCKLES)

888
00:50:35,447 --> 00:50:36,865
Really, really nice
to meet you.

889
00:50:37,323 --> 00:50:38,575
Happy holidays, sir.

890
00:50:39,325 --> 00:50:41,954
- Joe. Please.
- Joe.

891
00:50:43,998 --> 00:50:47,042
Oh. All right, that could be trouble.
Excuse me.

892
00:50:47,168 --> 00:50:50,796
Oh, no, I think that's theater for
"the show's gonna start soon."

893
00:50:51,839 --> 00:50:54,508
Right. (CHUCKLES)
Of course.

894
00:50:54,967 --> 00:50:57,845
Okay.
Okay, night... Yeah.

895
00:51:01,098 --> 00:51:02,390
(SHUSHING)

896
00:51:02,975 --> 00:51:05,060
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

897
00:51:13,235 --> 00:51:15,361
(ALL HUMMING)

898
00:51:18,032 --> 00:51:20,701
- <i>Joy to the world</i>
- <i>The world</i>

899
00:51:20,826 --> 00:51:23,162
- <i>The Lord is come</i>
- <i>Is come</i>

900
00:51:23,245 --> 00:51:28,792
- <i>Let Earth receive her King</i>
- <i>Her King</i>

901
00:51:28,876 --> 00:51:34,340
<i>Let every heart</i>
<i>prepare Him room</i>

902
00:51:34,422 --> 00:51:38,135
- <i>And Heaven and nature sing</i>
- <i>Nature sing</i>

903
00:51:38,260 --> 00:51:40,179
- <i>And Heaven and nature sing</i>
- <i>Nature sing</i>

904
00:51:40,346 --> 00:51:45,226
- <i>And Heaven, and Heaven, nature sing</i>
- <i>Nature sing</i>

905
00:51:45,475 --> 00:51:47,144
(CHEERING)

906
00:51:52,398 --> 00:51:59,365
<i>Amazing grace</i>

907
00:52:01,575 --> 00:52:07,122
- <i>How sweet</i>
- <i>Sweet</i>

908
00:52:07,248 --> 00:52:11,877
- <i>The sound</i>
- <i>Sound</i>

909
00:52:11,960 --> 00:52:15,463
<i>That saved</i>

910
00:52:15,589 --> 00:52:22,470
<i>A wretch like me</i>

911
00:52:22,930 --> 00:52:25,182
<i>Like me</i>

912
00:52:25,473 --> 00:52:32,398
<i>I once was lost</i>

913
00:52:32,814 --> 00:52:34,566
<i>Lost</i>

914
00:52:35,067 --> 00:52:40,446
<i>But now I'm found</i>

915
00:52:41,489 --> 00:52:43,617
<i>Found</i>

916
00:52:43,742 --> 00:52:46,287
<i>Was blind</i>

917
00:52:46,412 --> 00:52:50,416
<i>But now</i>

918
00:52:50,749 --> 00:52:57,047
<i>I see</i>

919
00:53:00,550 --> 00:53:01,593
Psst. Hey!

920
00:53:06,472 --> 00:53:07,473
(CHUCKLES)

921
00:53:08,434 --> 00:53:09,810
Thank you.
Merry Christmas.

922
00:53:10,311 --> 00:53:11,728
(MOUTHING)
Merry Christmas.

923
00:53:13,479 --> 00:53:14,648
WOMAN: Shut the fuck up.

924
00:53:16,650 --> 00:53:20,779
Joseph, I'm not
feeling very well.

925
00:53:20,862 --> 00:53:24,908
I'm really tired
and I have a pain.

926
00:53:24,992 --> 00:53:27,995
I think it's time for
the baby to be born!

927
00:53:29,246 --> 00:53:35,085
Please, Mary, lie down here on
this nice bed I made in the straw.

928
00:53:35,669 --> 00:53:38,005
Oh, yeah, lay down, Mary!

929
00:53:38,588 --> 00:53:40,215
(ALL LAUGHING)

930
00:53:42,759 --> 00:53:44,886
Jesus fucking Christ!

931
00:53:45,762 --> 00:53:48,765
All right, ladies. Knock it off!
Knock it off!

932
00:53:52,436 --> 00:53:54,604
Joseph, you were saying?

933
00:53:54,813 --> 00:53:56,357
That should have
been us up there.

934
00:53:56,522 --> 00:53:57,565
I know.

935
00:53:58,317 --> 00:54:02,070
Lie down, Mary,
it won't be long now.

936
00:54:03,864 --> 00:54:05,199
(PIANO PLAYING)

937
00:54:44,446 --> 00:54:45,655
(PLAYS CHORD)

938
00:54:48,742 --> 00:54:50,244
(SCATTERED LAUGHING)

939
00:55:28,449 --> 00:55:30,742
- WOMAN: Yeah!
- (AUDIENCE WHOOPING)

940
00:55:34,121 --> 00:55:36,362
You should be in the center.
You should be in the center.

941
00:56:32,596 --> 00:56:36,642
Hey! Hey! Where you
think you're going?

942
00:56:37,934 --> 00:56:39,811
Oh, no.
Oh, no.

943
00:56:39,894 --> 00:56:43,731
You do not wanna fight with me
right now, crazy. You do not.

944
00:56:43,940 --> 00:56:45,317
Oh, no?

945
00:56:45,442 --> 00:56:47,361
Maybe you're right.
I don't wanna fight you.

946
00:56:48,320 --> 00:56:50,238
I wanna end you right now.

947
00:56:55,536 --> 00:56:57,954
You better stop. Mr. Healy's
right over there.

948
00:56:58,038 --> 00:56:59,206
Hi, Mr. Healy.

949
00:57:00,332 --> 00:57:04,752
Mr. Healy! Mr. Healy! Mr. Healy!

950
00:57:05,795 --> 00:57:07,548
She's trying to kill me!

951
00:57:15,972 --> 00:57:17,349
(LAUGHING)

952
00:57:18,058 --> 00:57:19,267
(GRUNTING)

953
00:57:19,393 --> 00:57:20,644
(SCREAMS)

954
00:57:24,064 --> 00:57:25,399
Oh!

955
00:57:25,524 --> 00:57:27,317
Look what you
brought out to play.

956
00:57:27,401 --> 00:57:29,653
You back the fuck off me!

957
00:57:29,861 --> 00:57:32,239
You think I'm scared
of you? Do you?

958
00:57:33,490 --> 00:57:37,244
I'm not scared of you.
'Cause I got God by my side.

959
00:57:37,911 --> 00:57:38,912
(YELLS)

960
00:57:39,079 --> 00:57:42,040
And he told me that you
ain't worth nothin'! See?

961
00:57:43,208 --> 00:57:45,001
See how he just
works through me?

962
00:57:45,210 --> 00:57:47,462
And he wants me to smite you.

963
00:57:48,714 --> 00:57:49,923
I see things.

964
00:57:56,263 --> 00:57:58,724
Hmm, she-devil.
That's what you are.

965
00:57:58,806 --> 00:58:02,269
You're the devil,
and I'm the angel of God.

966
00:58:02,394 --> 00:58:07,608
I mean, look at my dress. Have you seen it?
How's that for poetry?

967
00:58:08,316 --> 00:58:09,317
Hmm?

968
00:58:09,443 --> 00:58:12,070
'Cause God loves me.
He don't love you.

969
00:58:12,153 --> 00:58:13,821
'Cause you ain't
worthy of God's love,

970
00:58:13,947 --> 00:58:15,741
you ain't worthy
of nobody's love.

971
00:58:17,117 --> 00:58:18,452
(SHUDDERING)

972
00:58:19,869 --> 00:58:23,998
So I think it's
time that you die.

973
00:58:24,583 --> 00:58:25,626
No!

974
00:58:26,376 --> 00:58:27,919
(GRUNTING)

975
00:58:34,134 --> 00:58:36,428
<i>(O COME ALL YE FAITHFUL</i>
PLAYING)

976
00:58:36,511 --> 00:58:38,305
(GRUNTING)

977
00:58:41,845 --> 00:58:52,026
<font color=#ec14bd>Sync & corrections by honeybunny</font>
<font color=#ec14bd>www.addic7ed.com</font>

978
00:58:52,444 --> 00:58:54,488
(SONG CONTINUES)

