1 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:09,195 Previously on In Treatment. 2 00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:12,991 Teachers marry students, there's no big deal about it. 3 00:00:13,040 --> 00:00:14,598 Is it really wrong? 4 00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:19,634 Let's say I stop Laura's therapy. Surely in 18 months when it's cooled off... 5 00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:23,719 - There's no cooling-off period. - That's bullshit some lawyer came up with. 6 00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:26,911 It's not a law, it's beyond a code of ethics. 7 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:29,155 It's something you carry inside you. 8 00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:33,113 - There's a lot of people would disagree. - Then go to them. 9 00:00:33,160 --> 00:00:36,516 It's really tough when I'm alone with her, you know? 10 00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:38,755 And she's asking me, 11 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:42,793 "Please, just be honest. Please tell me how you feel." 12 00:00:44,160 --> 00:00:45,912 But I can't... 13 00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:49,952 Paul, you need to say it. 14 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:52,195 I love her. 15 00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:38,351 (Knocking) 16 00:01:41,080 --> 00:01:43,196 - Hello. Come in, come in. - (Paul) Hi. 17 00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:45,276 - (Kate) Hi. - Hi, Kate, Paul. 18 00:01:45,320 --> 00:01:48,710 - Hi, Kate. - Hello. 19 00:01:50,720 --> 00:01:52,631 - It's good to see you. - And you. 20 00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:56,832 - You've been here before, right? - Uh, it was years ago. 21 00:01:56,880 --> 00:02:00,111 Actually, it was the Argentineans, I think. 22 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:02,799 Oh, an institute conference. 23 00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:05,957 Yes, that's right, that's right. 24 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,560 - You look great. - Thank you. So do you. 25 00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:10,192 Oh, well... 26 00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:13,196 Um... 27 00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:15,629 - This room's lovely. - Thank you. 28 00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:19,229 I did some rearranging but I'm not sure how comfortable I am in it. 29 00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:22,989 I told myself I would write a few hours a day... 30 00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:25,429 - Did Paul tell you I retired? - Uh... 31 00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:28,755 No. No, Paul didn't tell me. 32 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:34,759 - But, writing, that's... that's fantastic. Uh... - We'll see. 33 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:36,392 (Both chuckle) 34 00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:40,069 I've often thought that I might try my hand, but... 35 00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:43,112 but I would never dare. (Chuckles) 36 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:47,199 So, um... 37 00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:52,196 It's a little unusual to have ongoing sessions with Paul 38 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:54,071 and then to see the both of you. 39 00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:57,749 I thought it might be helpful if we all decided how to approach this. 40 00:02:57,800 --> 00:03:02,078 I, um... I think I told you when I called that this was Kate's suggestion. 41 00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:04,031 (Gina) You said that. 42 00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:06,719 If I were you, I wouldn't be so sure I'd agree to it. 43 00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:07,954 Why not? 44 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:11,310 Well, we've blurred some lines here, you and I. 45 00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:14,193 It's true, we have. 46 00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:17,596 But I think we'll be OK if we set down some guidelines. 47 00:03:17,640 --> 00:03:20,029 I was thinking we could meet three times, 48 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:24,278 re-evaluate and then decide where we want to go from there. 49 00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:26,197 (Gina) OK? 50 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:27,832 Yeah, OK. 51 00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:33,038 Now, what made you decide to come here? 52 00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:39,513 Paul, you said that it was Kate's suggestion, 53 00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:42,358 but you're going along with it. 54 00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:46,598 I think I told you about Kate going to Rome and, uh... 55 00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:49,517 and who she went with. 56 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:52,438 She, uh... She got back and, uh... 57 00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:54,869 she said that it was over with that guy 58 00:03:54,920 --> 00:04:00,870 and I guess we both had the sense of "So, what do we do now?" 59 00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:07,230 Kate did offer to talk about it and I couldn't. I was too angry. 60 00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:10,989 I know in couples therapy you try not to blame each other 61 00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:14,715 and I'm always telling my patients that, like it's the simplest thing. 62 00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:17,149 Now here I am and, uh... 63 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:21,468 I can't stop blaming. 64 00:04:21,520 --> 00:04:25,752 Intellectually, I get it, that I'm half of the equation, but, uh... 65 00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:31,071 You said you couldn't talk to Kate, so she hasn't heard any of this, how you feel. 66 00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:34,829 Well, I think she knows that she hurt me... 67 00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:36,632 deeply... 68 00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:38,557 and that, uh... 69 00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:40,556 that I hated her. 70 00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:44,873 Could you go into that? 71 00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:47,354 I hated you for thinking you were entitled to this, 72 00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:49,311 that you implied I brought it on myself. 73 00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:50,713 I couldn't shake it. 74 00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:54,150 Every minute, I'd get a wave of rage and loss... 75 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:56,395 Why? Why loss? 76 00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:59,238 Because I really don't know if I can forgive her. 77 00:04:59,280 --> 00:05:01,350 I've seen couples come back from this, 78 00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:04,710 but, right now, I'll be damned if I know how they did it. 79 00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:06,398 Anyway, she got back Tuesday 80 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:09,512 and I said, "Well, should I move out?" 81 00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:13,553 She said that wasn't what she wanted and... 82 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:16,918 (Sighs) 83 00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:20,391 You tell her. 84 00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:25,468 Uh, well, I just asked him why he couldn't talk to me 85 00:05:25,520 --> 00:05:29,195 about all of this, you know, everything we're going through. 86 00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:31,071 Can you answer that, Paul? 87 00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:33,554 I just said I... I couldn't. 88 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:36,875 I tell patients having someone cheat on you 89 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,433 is like mourning a death. 90 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:41,392 Who you were as a couple, the image you have of yourself - 91 00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:44,034 it is like losing a loved one. 92 00:05:45,640 --> 00:05:50,350 You, um, keep telling us what you tell patients, 93 00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:52,994 but you're talking about your mourning, 94 00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:55,474 your rage, your loss. 95 00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:57,431 You're sounding very controlled. 96 00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:59,471 What, you want me to throw something? 97 00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:01,715 Try to strangle her? (Chuckles) 98 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:06,832 I can barely look at her. 99 00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:08,472 I'm so... 100 00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:10,397 (Sighs) 101 00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:13,637 I feel like I'm falling apart, Gina. 102 00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:19,793 I should tell you this, and Kate already knows I... 103 00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:23,910 I attacked a patient in therapy. 104 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:26,879 The pilot. 105 00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:30,668 In the middle of therapy, I jumped him. I lost it. 106 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:35,032 Suddenly, I was on top of him. I grabbed him. I almost... 107 00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:37,071 I almost hit him. 108 00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:40,591 Scared the hell out of me. 109 00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:43,989 Out of both of us, I guess. 110 00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:49,592 Anyway, my first thought afterwards was that I was reacting to Kate. 111 00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:52,996 She came home during the session, 112 00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:56,032 she knocked at the door, back from Rome. 113 00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:01,032 I heard her outside the office and then... 114 00:07:04,280 --> 00:07:06,271 What is it? 115 00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:10,630 I shouldn't discuss a patient with Kate here. 116 00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:15,950 You can't discuss a patient who's spying on me? 117 00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:21,118 He... he did all this, uh, research 118 00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:23,674 about Kate and about... 119 00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:25,472 about my father. 120 00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:28,114 He knew that Kate was in Italy with, uh... 121 00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:32,358 with another man and, uh, he... he... 122 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:34,072 he threw it in my face. 123 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:36,156 - How did he know that? - He made calls. 124 00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:40,113 People that had recommended me to him. I don't know who they are. 125 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:42,196 Anyway, that's not the point. 126 00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:46,313 Instead of handling it properly, I jumped in and, uh... 127 00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:50,272 And I... (Clears throat) I lay in bed that night thinking, 128 00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:52,550 "Do I take a month off? Or three months off? 129 00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:55,433 "Maybe I should take a year off. Maybe I'm... 130 00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:59,268 (Chuckles) "Maybe I'm all done." 131 00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:03,599 - And that's my fault? - What? 132 00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:07,269 Your creepy patient, he's my fault as well? 133 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,312 Actually, it made me think how much I... I need you. 134 00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:13,669 - Do you? - Yeah. 135 00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:17,713 You, the kids, the house - I need that. I need that other place where I can... 136 00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:20,513 That... What? Hang on. That other place? 137 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:24,794 Oh, Paul, 138 00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:27,832 I'm pretty sure we're supposed to be the place. 139 00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:34,880 I'm sorry. How does this work? 140 00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:37,150 - Do we take turns? Is that how... - Sure. 141 00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:39,270 Whatever you're comfortable with. 142 00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:40,719 Um... 143 00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:45,794 Look, it's always been very difficult for me, 144 00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:48,912 trying to describe what I'm feeling. 145 00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:50,393 Um... 146 00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:57,237 When you're having a baby - yeah? 147 00:08:57,280 --> 00:08:59,430 You're lying there 148 00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:01,675 in that hospital bed and... 149 00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:06,349 and you don't need - you don't want - everything understood 150 00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:10,188 and shared and analysed and discussed, you... 151 00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:15,351 All you want to know is that you're not alone 152 00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:17,755 and that your husband's hand is right there. 153 00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:20,192 Um... 154 00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:22,993 But try describing to your husband 155 00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:25,474 exactly what it feels like to have a child, 156 00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:27,431 it's just impossible. 157 00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:29,869 A friend of mine once said, 158 00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:32,036 "Take an umbrella, shove it up his ass, 159 00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:33,559 "open it and pull. 160 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:36,239 - (Laughs) - "Then he'll know." 161 00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:38,999 So someone sticking an umbrella up your ass is... 162 00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:41,554 What... What's the umbrella? 163 00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:43,909 Please don't analyse me. 164 00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:47,430 Well, it's quite an analogy. 165 00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:49,436 I'm not your patient. 166 00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:53,837 He... He doesn't get to interpret everything I say in here, does he? 167 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:57,953 It's the same as when Paul's at home. He's not a psychotherapist here. 168 00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:01,037 He's a man dealing with a crisis in his marriage. 169 00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:04,640 He's not a therapist at home? 170 00:10:04,680 --> 00:10:06,671 OK. (Chuckles, sniffs) 171 00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:14,230 Can you go on, Kate? 172 00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:19,751 When you told me about attacking the patient, 173 00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:22,268 I felt like that was for my benefit. 174 00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:24,550 That you just wanted to show me 175 00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:28,957 what I'd done to you by seeing Edward, how I'd ruined your life... 176 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:30,831 Well, your work. 177 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:33,599 You haven't ruined my life. 178 00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:36,029 You're the best thing in it. 179 00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:40,232 Well, I felt like you were putting on a show. 180 00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:43,353 Christ. 181 00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:47,473 You know, I believed you 182 00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:51,991 when you told me that you wanted me to stop seeing Edward, I did. 183 00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:54,031 But when you sit here and tell me 184 00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:56,674 that I'm the best thing in your life... 185 00:10:58,240 --> 00:10:59,798 I don't believe that. 186 00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:05,554 And that makes me so sad. 187 00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:10,630 And the way you talk to me sometimes, 188 00:11:10,680 --> 00:11:12,796 I mean, I will ask you outright, 189 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:16,515 "Do you love me?" And you've said to me... 190 00:11:16,560 --> 00:11:18,869 you've looked at me and you've said, 191 00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:19,909 "Yes... 192 00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:21,029 "for now." 193 00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:23,071 It's... It's a joke. 194 00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:25,918 Well, what the hell kind of a joke is that? 195 00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:29,348 Someone asks you if you love them, 196 00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:32,233 you don't think that they're feeling vulnerable? 197 00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:33,679 A little insecure, maybe? 198 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:37,998 They need some reassurance? Everything we say has meaning, that's your line. 199 00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:40,270 But we don't mean everything that we say. 200 00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:43,118 Which is it? That's convenient for you, isn't it? 201 00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:46,838 We don't mean what we say, fine, 202 00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:49,872 cos I don't believe a lot of what you say. 203 00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:53,991 I mean, Gina just pointed it out. 204 00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:56,110 You said, "I'm hurt," but it sounded like 205 00:11:56,160 --> 00:11:59,948 you were reading something out of a psychology book or something. 206 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:03,390 How do you need me? You don't need me. I... 207 00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:06,034 I just don't believe that. 208 00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:12,998 You know, when Paul and I were first seeing each other... 209 00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:17,957 I couldn't get over how seriously he took me. 210 00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:22,832 I'd really just... I'd never had that from anyone. 211 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:27,356 Up until then, I'd always pretty much felt, um... 212 00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:29,470 invisible. 213 00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:32,956 And, uh, there was also... there was this... 214 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:35,639 there was this exciting new idea 215 00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:38,990 that... that under everything people say 216 00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:42,510 there's another intention and that there's this hidden meaning, 217 00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:45,438 which just meant that everything had to be analysed. 218 00:12:45,480 --> 00:12:48,995 So, everything I said took on this importance 219 00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:52,032 because he was working so hard to figure me out. 220 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:59,717 And he was really the first person who tried to understand me. 221 00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:01,352 And I... 222 00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:10,917 Thank you. 223 00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:16,719 And I just remember feeling... 224 00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:19,832 very grateful to him for that. 225 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:22,909 So, uh, it was quite a shock for me 226 00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:25,190 to realise that it wasn't about me. 227 00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:28,835 It had... It had fuck all to do with me, really. 228 00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:31,553 I mean, it was about him. 229 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:35,713 Because you don't actually understand me. 230 00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:39,150 Understanding me is not about subtext or the subconscious. 231 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:42,909 It's not about reading some kind of an X-ray, you know? It's... 232 00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:46,714 It's just so clinical, you... (Sighs) 233 00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:49,194 It's worse because you use it against me. 234 00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:52,152 You think you know what I mean before I know what I mean, 235 00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:54,191 and how am I supposed to argue with that? 236 00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:56,470 This is what I've gotten out of our marriage, 237 00:13:56,520 --> 00:14:01,196 I've got to go over everything ten different ways. I can't take anything at face value. 238 00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:03,310 Nothing is simple. Nothing is ever simple. 239 00:14:03,360 --> 00:14:06,352 I hate it. I hate that that's what I've become. 240 00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:09,876 Just the patient married to the doctor. 241 00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:14,471 Huh. Well, uh, for someone who was asking 242 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:17,830 how this whole thing works, 243 00:14:17,880 --> 00:14:19,791 you're doing a blue-riband job. 244 00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:21,717 Got to give you that. 245 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:27,470 I didn't come here for you to grade my performance. 246 00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:33,073 Kate, can you explain to Paul why you were seeing Edward? 247 00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:36,916 I don't want to explain. 248 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:38,279 No? 249 00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:40,151 No, this is exactly what I'm saying. 250 00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:42,760 Why does everything have to be explained? 251 00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:46,076 Sometimes I just don't know and sometimes I don't want to know. 252 00:14:52,680 --> 00:14:54,159 Fine. Initially, 253 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:57,397 it was just excitement and adrenaline. 254 00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:03,118 There was this possibility when I woke up in the morning 255 00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:05,958 that I may do something that I hadn't planned, 256 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:08,230 or that I didn't even know I was capable of. 257 00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:10,589 And that's who I was before I met Paul. 258 00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:15,468 And somewhere along the way, that part of me just... 259 00:15:15,520 --> 00:15:18,114 died or, I don't know, it was smothered. 260 00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:24,751 The point I'm trying to make is why can I not just trust myself 261 00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:28,349 to be who I am and to just get on with it? 262 00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:30,868 Well, just because you don't look, 263 00:15:30,920 --> 00:15:34,515 it doesn't mean there's nothing underneath. 264 00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:36,437 That's very profound, I'm sure. 265 00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:39,916 - There's still a reason why you... - Would you please stop it? 266 00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:44,954 I do not want your intellectual interpretation of everything I say. 267 00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:53,594 I did it because I felt something. 268 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:57,109 What did you feel? 269 00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:01,037 Wanted. 270 00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:07,590 Do you... I mean, do you want me to say that I want you? 271 00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:09,517 I do. I want you. That's why I'm here, 272 00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:12,154 so that you'II... you'll believe it. 273 00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:16,799 Paul, do you feel that you need a witness to verify your love for Kate? 274 00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:19,871 Thank you. 275 00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:23,435 Thank you. I'm sorry, but I just keep getting this... 276 00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:27,716 that image of Bill Clinton, that footage of him. 277 00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:31,673 Standing in front of the cameras and he's wagging his finger so adamantly. 278 00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:34,393 "I did not have sexual relations with that woman." 279 00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:36,431 That's some comparison. 280 00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:42,398 You know, I can't assert anything strongly enough, 281 00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:46,638 because that would be a clear indication of my, uh... 282 00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:48,591 insincerity, but, on the other hand, 283 00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:51,473 if I don't state my feelings, that's something else. 284 00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:55,399 Fair enough. Maybe there's nothing you can say to me. 285 00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:59,034 All I know is I have to feel it in my gut to believe it. 286 00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:01,036 - And you don't. - No, I don't. 287 00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:07,388 Do you remember? 288 00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:10,034 Do you remember what it feels like to be wanted? 289 00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:15,198 To be truly desired and pursued? It's not something you experience as a debate. 290 00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:19,631 It's not an argument you need to be convinced of. It's just this... this... 291 00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:24,791 this force that has to be... that has to be reckoned with. 292 00:17:27,760 --> 00:17:29,955 What? What is it? Did I... 293 00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:32,877 What? 294 00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:42,589 (Laughs) What did I say? What's going on? 295 00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:47,839 (Clears throat) 296 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:51,873 Do you... do you know what transference is? 297 00:17:54,360 --> 00:17:57,113 Whe... when a patient has feelings for their therapist 298 00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:59,833 which are, in fact, drawn from 299 00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:02,838 their relationships with their parents. 300 00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:05,678 They project qualities onto the therapist 301 00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:09,633 that don't really exist or they can be just exaggerated. 302 00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:15,438 And then when they find the courage, the patient... 303 00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:19,917 they reach a level of trust and they feel safe enough to express their desire for the... 304 00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:23,635 And... And so for a time, 305 00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:27,673 the... the... the patient may experience feelings 306 00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:30,109 as if they're truly intended for the... 307 00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:32,549 for the therapist. 308 00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:42,318 Did you fuck her? 309 00:18:44,360 --> 00:18:45,998 What? 310 00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:51,637 Is that what you're telling me? Are you telling me that you slept with a patient? 311 00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:54,831 No, that's not what I'm... 312 00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:57,872 You asked me if I felt someone's desire for me. 313 00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:01,674 I'm saying yes, I have patients who've indicated feelings for me, 314 00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:04,678 only I'm not flying off to Rome to fuck them. 315 00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:07,712 It happens in therapy all the time. 316 00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:15,554 - Has this happened to you? - (Whispers) Yes, it has. 317 00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:17,716 I've spoken to Gina about it. 318 00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:21,639 It's really valuable for me to explore my feelings with another therapist, 319 00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:24,433 so they don't get in the way, so I can work through them, 320 00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:28,598 because then they don't get the best of me and ruin my marriage. 321 00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:30,232 That's... 322 00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:36,030 All right, so exactly what kind of feelings has this woman provoked in you? 323 00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:45,431 What has he said to you? 324 00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:49,073 Kate, only Paul can answer that. 325 00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:55,154 It's OK, he doesn't have to. 326 00:19:58,000 --> 00:19:59,592 Ah. 327 00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:05,675 This is why he needed to make some sort of a... 328 00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:08,109 declaration of commitment to me. 329 00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:13,436 This is his wagging finger, his "I did not have sexual relations with that woman." 330 00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:15,232 - But I didn't. - Doesn't matter. 331 00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:20,832 This is not nothing. If this were nothing, you wouldn't have brought it up here. 332 00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:24,429 If this were just some patient with a silly crush... 333 00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:26,118 Is... 334 00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:32,392 Are you telling me that you've fallen in love with some patient 335 00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:34,829 that you're treating? 336 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:37,399 (Gasps) 337 00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:40,592 Look, you have your insurance guy, 338 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:44,076 you don't get to play the outraged wife here. 339 00:20:44,120 --> 00:20:46,270 He's not an insurance guy and you know it. 340 00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:49,437 - Whatever he is. - Thanks for another stupid, painful joke. 341 00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:54,270 And I don't get to play outraged? Ha. What about the last few weeks? 342 00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:58,871 Acting like a martyr and the whole time you're chasing a patient. Jesus Christ. 343 00:20:58,920 --> 00:21:01,309 Actually, let me guess. What is she? 344 00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:03,828 Some girl with no father figure? 345 00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:06,348 He died? Abandoned her when she was 12? 346 00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:08,595 He loves that type. I'll tell you. 347 00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:12,512 - How old is she? - What type, Kate? 348 00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:16,030 Girls with that particular brand of dysfunction - 349 00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:19,470 tasty little daddy complex so he can sweep them off their feet. 350 00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:21,112 It's daydreaming, that's all. 351 00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:23,833 Maybe it's a little more than daydreaming... 352 00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:26,792 Look, I wanted to come clean here. 353 00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:28,831 Now you know. 354 00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:34,359 The reason I'm telling you is because I want it to stop. 355 00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:37,675 Well... (Chuckles) St... 356 00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:41,110 You want to stop what? You wanna stop wanting to fuck patients? 357 00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:43,037 - How do you stop that? - I don't know, 358 00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:47,358 but we might try acting like a couple who actually might want to be together. 359 00:21:52,480 --> 00:21:54,391 Maybe you can describe to Kate 360 00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:58,718 what you're experiencing with this patient, like Kate did with Edward. 361 00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:01,115 Look, you can't... 362 00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:02,991 can't compare the... 363 00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:06,713 She slept with somebody. I allowed myself a fantasy. 364 00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:09,354 That's all. I never admitted it to this woman. 365 00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:11,675 I certainly never... I certainly never acted on it. 366 00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:15,918 - But you were dying to. - Yes, I was dying to, but I didn't. 367 00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:19,996 Anyway, she quit therapy. 368 00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:23,476 I forgot to tell you, she quit therapy on Monday. 369 00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:27,479 Good. Now you can fuck her without worrying... or losing your licence. 370 00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:30,557 Or maybe I can try to save our marriage, or what's left of it, 371 00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:32,477 which, apparently, isn't very much. 372 00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:35,353 Did you say Monday? 373 00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:37,994 - Monday? - Monday, yes. 374 00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:43,789 That's why you wouldn't go with Max on a Monday? 375 00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:48,391 Because you didn't want to miss your session with this girl? Are you serious? 376 00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:54,394 Max, he's having a lot of problems at school and, uh... 377 00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:56,829 there was this conference with his teachers 378 00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:59,519 and Paul wanted to reschedule because... 379 00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:07,396 I knew something was wrong. I knew it. 380 00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:10,671 And all your speechifying, all your fucking sanctimony, 381 00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:14,918 walking around like the mortally wounded, and the whole time... Oh, Jesus. 382 00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:18,669 Makes total sense now, doesn't it? A million little things. 383 00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:21,596 When did this start? 384 00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:24,677 Wait... How... No, how long has this been going on? 385 00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:28,030 How long has what been going on? I told you nothing happened. 386 00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:30,799 I'll tell you when. It started a year ago, didn't it? 387 00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:32,512 - Am I right? - Jesus. 388 00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:35,677 - What happened to us? - What happened to us? 389 00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:37,073 What happened to you? 390 00:23:37,120 --> 00:23:39,793 What happened to you, Paul? 391 00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:41,319 Edward, he was nothing. 392 00:23:41,360 --> 00:23:43,669 - Nothing? - Can you say it's nothing? 393 00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:45,870 Can you say it's nothing with this... 394 00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:48,673 - What is her name? - I can't tell you. I'm not allowed. 395 00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:50,950 I want to know and you'd better tell me. 396 00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:53,992 - I am not fucking around. - Laura. 397 00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:56,234 Laura. 398 00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:02,715 Why don't you tell me it's nothing with Laura? 399 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:10,797 My God. 400 00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:15,757 I made a mistake. I made a... 401 00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:18,394 With someone I couldn't even be in... 402 00:24:20,360 --> 00:24:21,952 (Sighs) 403 00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:23,399 God damn you. 404 00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:28,070 What do you want? Do you want me to say it's nothing? Because it isn't nothing. 405 00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:31,833 That's why we're here. That's why I'm here. 406 00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:36,670 Fuck you. 407 00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:45,752 Paul, you can understand how she's feeling. 408 00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:48,314 She came here wanting to leave her affair behind 409 00:24:48,360 --> 00:24:50,555 and work on your marriage and... 410 00:24:51,120 --> 00:24:54,430 then she finds out that you have feelings for another woman. 411 00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:56,471 It's not the same thing, Gina. 412 00:24:57,640 --> 00:24:59,039 Still... 413 00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:04,553 you've both been pulling away from the relationship. 414 00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:10,352 Now what's left is to fight over who's been hurt the most. 415 00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:12,951 Why? 416 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:14,991 Why is anyone cheating? 417 00:25:16,120 --> 00:25:19,112 Looking to someone else for a connection? 418 00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:23,720 How did the marriage end up feeling this empty? 419 00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:32,795 OK, this is a first step. 420 00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:35,274 We'll keep looking at these reactions 421 00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:39,279 and what they mean, where they started. 422 00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:41,595 As I said in the beginning, we... 423 00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:43,676 we should meet a few times 424 00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:46,598 and then decide to go on with couples therapy 425 00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:49,154 or some other solution. 426 00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:50,792 (Paul) OK. 427 00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:55,311 Gina, I'd like to pay for my sessions so far and for this one. 428 00:25:55,360 --> 00:25:57,112 We don't have to do that now. 429 00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:59,515 Five sessions. How much are you... 430 00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:03,553 Paul, as you said in the beginning, some lines have been blurred here. 431 00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:05,909 So, I haven't even thought about this. 432 00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:08,520 Let me figure it out and I'll send you a bill. 433 00:26:08,560 --> 00:26:09,993 - OK. - OK? 434 00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:14,990 What exactly am I going home with? 435 00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:20,675 What the hell am I supposed to do with this before... 436 00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:22,711 our next instalment? 437 00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:29,631 Kate, you can call me any time. 438 00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:31,113 Paul, you know that. 439 00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:33,993 And if you want to meet before next Friday, it's fine. 440 00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:35,712 I'm here. 441 00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:38,999 (Kate sniffs) 442 00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:48,956 (Dog barking) 443 00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:51,314 Thanks, Gina. 444 00:26:51,360 --> 00:26:53,157 Take care, Paul. 445 00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:19,669 English SDH