1 00:00:01,488 --> 00:00:03,762 Previously on "In Treatment" 2 00:00:04,359 --> 00:00:06,164 David was my first. 3 00:00:06,328 --> 00:00:08,080 Don't look at me like that. I wasn't the victim. 4 00:00:08,180 --> 00:00:11,617 -I got him to his bed. -I was a 40-year-old man, for Christ's sake. 5 00:00:11,934 --> 00:00:14,137 Your father had no idea what was going on? 6 00:00:14,896 --> 00:00:17,568 -He was asleep in the next room. -I think it's important 7 00:00:17,885 --> 00:00:21,142 that you talk to your father about this, 8 00:00:22,077 --> 00:00:23,881 while it's still possible. 9 00:00:24,327 --> 00:00:26,975 You know that this thing with me and Alex is over. 10 00:00:28,077 --> 00:00:29,670 I ended it. 11 00:00:31,230 --> 00:00:32,985 I can't continue, Paul. 12 00:00:33,445 --> 00:00:35,848 Every minute here is tearing me apart. 13 00:00:46,443 --> 00:00:48,107 Daddy? 14 00:01:27,461 --> 00:01:30,403 In Treatment- Season 1 Episode 26- "Laura- Week Six" 15 00:01:57,757 --> 00:01:58,917 Yes, hello? 16 00:02:00,849 --> 00:02:03,310 No, I'm uh... I'm on my way somewhere. 17 00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:05,408 No, not to the ward. 18 00:02:07,083 --> 00:02:09,322 No, absolutely not. 19 00:02:10,142 --> 00:02:11,766 Because his temperature is slightly up, 20 00:02:11,866 --> 00:02:14,103 and I don't want it to get out of hand. 21 00:02:15,355 --> 00:02:17,778 Just... just tell them to take care of him until I get there. 22 00:02:17,878 --> 00:02:19,515 Just keep an eye on his fever. 23 00:02:21,281 --> 00:02:23,121 In about 90 minutes. 24 00:02:24,691 --> 00:02:27,879 Look, it's... it's important. Can I count on you? 25 00:02:29,133 --> 00:02:30,304 Okay. 26 00:02:31,084 --> 00:02:32,490 Okay, bye. 27 00:02:33,345 --> 00:02:35,080 -Hi. -Hi. 28 00:02:36,638 --> 00:02:38,197 Here, for you. 29 00:02:39,713 --> 00:02:41,342 -What is it? -There's a... 30 00:02:41,459 --> 00:02:44,096 a farmer's market across the street from the hospital. 31 00:02:44,870 --> 00:02:46,475 Maple syrup. 32 00:02:46,634 --> 00:02:48,134 Vermont's finest. 33 00:02:48,274 --> 00:02:49,358 -Thanks. -Sure. 34 00:02:49,458 --> 00:02:51,790 Your kids eat pancakes, right? 35 00:02:52,895 --> 00:02:54,001 Yeah. 36 00:02:59,540 --> 00:03:01,181 Come on in. 37 00:03:01,933 --> 00:03:03,550 Thanks. 38 00:03:08,152 --> 00:03:09,804 Thanks for seeing me. 39 00:03:10,332 --> 00:03:12,063 When I was dialing your number this morning, I thought, 40 00:03:12,163 --> 00:03:15,078 "Shit! It's not even 8 o'clock. I probably woke everybody up." 41 00:03:15,238 --> 00:03:18,485 Please, this place is a circus by 8 o'clock. 42 00:03:20,570 --> 00:03:22,539 I had no one else to talk to. 43 00:03:23,156 --> 00:03:25,757 I even called Andrew, but you know, he never called me back. 44 00:03:25,875 --> 00:03:27,750 Anyway, thanks. 45 00:03:31,261 --> 00:03:33,745 I thought my hour would be filled already. 46 00:03:33,921 --> 00:03:36,581 Your hour isn't filled. How is your dad? 47 00:03:37,073 --> 00:03:39,851 -Is he still in I.C.U.? -Yes. 48 00:03:41,518 --> 00:03:45,526 His... temperature went up. They wanted to move him to the ward, but... 49 00:03:46,290 --> 00:03:47,879 I want him kept there as long as possible, 50 00:03:47,979 --> 00:03:50,600 you know, where he's got one-on-one nursing care. 51 00:03:57,792 --> 00:03:59,843 He looks so small, you know? 52 00:04:00,909 --> 00:04:02,585 So tiny. 53 00:04:05,469 --> 00:04:07,871 He looks lost in that huge bed. 54 00:04:11,317 --> 00:04:14,493 Could barely see his body under the sheets. 55 00:04:18,486 --> 00:04:21,122 Looks like E.T. 56 00:04:24,853 --> 00:04:27,372 You think I'd be more resistent, huh? 57 00:04:27,864 --> 00:04:31,614 I've already seen people shrink to little... gremlins. 58 00:04:35,210 --> 00:04:37,519 But not my father. 59 00:04:45,418 --> 00:04:47,340 I took your advice. 60 00:04:47,855 --> 00:04:49,906 I told him about David. 61 00:04:50,164 --> 00:04:53,145 When I left here last week, I called him on the way home. 62 00:04:53,245 --> 00:04:55,495 He was so happy to hear from me. 63 00:04:56,726 --> 00:04:59,163 It's been a month since we'd seen each other. 64 00:05:00,074 --> 00:05:03,238 So I went around to his house and he ordered takeout. 65 00:05:03,953 --> 00:05:05,863 My dad never orders takeout. 66 00:05:06,109 --> 00:05:10,058 He doesn't know how. I swear he ordered half the menu. I'm not exaggerating. 67 00:05:15,044 --> 00:05:17,833 Well, he means well, but I don't think he knows what I like. 68 00:05:19,743 --> 00:05:21,794 Do you know what your kids like? 69 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:24,753 You mean apart from pancakes? 70 00:05:27,765 --> 00:05:30,261 When I told him about David, he said: 71 00:05:33,602 --> 00:05:35,453 "I thought so." 72 00:05:36,660 --> 00:05:39,259 We were sitting in the kitchen, surrounded by takeout containers, 73 00:05:39,359 --> 00:05:40,961 about 20 of them and... 74 00:05:41,528 --> 00:05:44,874 he was just pushing his eggroll from one side of the plate to the other, 75 00:05:45,015 --> 00:05:47,227 dipping it in the hot mustard without looking up at me 76 00:05:47,327 --> 00:05:49,187 and said "I thought so". 77 00:05:58,202 --> 00:05:59,866 Did you tell him the full story? 78 00:05:59,972 --> 00:06:01,472 Yeah, well... 79 00:06:02,077 --> 00:06:05,370 More or less. I told him I slept with David at our house and... 80 00:06:05,668 --> 00:06:07,491 he asked me if it continued later. 81 00:06:07,591 --> 00:06:09,191 I said: "No, it was just... 82 00:06:09,618 --> 00:06:11,303 a passing thing," 83 00:06:12,126 --> 00:06:15,184 that nothing happened to me, and he didn't need to worry, 84 00:06:15,418 --> 00:06:16,922 that it came up in therapy, 85 00:06:17,051 --> 00:06:19,692 and I should talk to him about it. 86 00:06:19,832 --> 00:06:22,832 It doesn't sound to me that your father was... 87 00:06:23,690 --> 00:06:26,256 Doesn't sound like he was surprised. 88 00:06:27,838 --> 00:06:29,807 How do you feel about that? 89 00:06:30,780 --> 00:06:33,240 That he might have known all along and that... 90 00:06:34,057 --> 00:06:36,518 that he didn't do anything about it? 91 00:06:37,468 --> 00:06:39,553 I didn't take it that way. 92 00:06:40,887 --> 00:06:43,193 Look, Paul, the pain, you know the shock of it was so bad 93 00:06:43,293 --> 00:06:46,664 he immediately had to act as if he'd known all along. 94 00:06:47,356 --> 00:06:49,922 As if to deflect the shock of it to... 95 00:06:52,716 --> 00:06:54,767 Old habits die hard, huh? 96 00:06:54,867 --> 00:06:56,404 You can take the girl out of therapy, 97 00:06:56,504 --> 00:06:59,371 but you can't take a therapy out of the conversation. 98 00:07:13,977 --> 00:07:15,559 It's funny. 99 00:07:15,864 --> 00:07:17,774 Things are so different. 100 00:07:18,677 --> 00:07:20,845 It feels like I haven't been here for a year. 101 00:07:28,291 --> 00:07:30,154 Are those new shoes? 102 00:07:30,510 --> 00:07:32,862 These? No. I found them in the closet, 103 00:07:32,962 --> 00:07:35,443 forgot about them. I used to wear them before... 104 00:07:35,919 --> 00:07:37,408 before I was married. 105 00:07:37,513 --> 00:07:39,142 - They're nice. - You think so? 106 00:07:48,961 --> 00:07:50,929 I'm really glad that you called. 107 00:07:52,225 --> 00:07:53,936 Really? 108 00:07:54,452 --> 00:07:56,948 What, did you miss me? 109 00:07:59,310 --> 00:08:01,103 Yes, I did. 110 00:08:03,981 --> 00:08:06,418 Even after that dramatic exit last week? 111 00:08:06,617 --> 00:08:07,918 Yeah. 112 00:08:09,453 --> 00:08:10,836 Really? 113 00:08:11,818 --> 00:08:13,307 Yeah. 114 00:08:14,103 --> 00:08:16,365 I guess the prospect of... 115 00:08:17,373 --> 00:08:19,482 of not seeing you again kind of... 116 00:08:20,403 --> 00:08:22,125 kind of scared me. 117 00:08:23,731 --> 00:08:26,391 Losing a patient is such a big deal? 118 00:08:29,213 --> 00:08:31,463 Losing you is a big deal. 119 00:08:38,737 --> 00:08:40,280 Does it bother you that I said that? 120 00:08:40,380 --> 00:08:42,527 No, I just don't understand why you're saying it. 121 00:08:42,627 --> 00:08:44,327 I mean why now? 122 00:08:47,153 --> 00:08:49,286 - Is this a trick? - Why... 123 00:08:49,707 --> 00:08:51,289 Why would I be tricking you? 124 00:08:51,418 --> 00:08:54,568 I just don't understand why you're saying it. To be honest, 125 00:08:54,668 --> 00:08:56,379 I... I don't really believe you. 126 00:08:56,508 --> 00:08:58,219 It's the truth, Laura. 127 00:08:59,496 --> 00:09:02,092 I'm trying to say how I feel about you. 128 00:09:02,192 --> 00:09:04,887 I think you deserve to know. I think it's... 129 00:09:06,623 --> 00:09:08,732 I think it's time for you to know. 130 00:09:09,682 --> 00:09:10,752 Know what? 131 00:09:10,912 --> 00:09:13,490 That I have very deep feelings for you. 132 00:09:15,062 --> 00:09:17,634 I... I keep thinking about you all the time. 133 00:09:18,156 --> 00:09:20,429 I really miss you sometimes, it's... 134 00:09:21,284 --> 00:09:22,690 No. 135 00:09:23,065 --> 00:09:24,776 Not sometimes. 136 00:09:25,919 --> 00:09:27,091 Often. 137 00:09:27,243 --> 00:09:29,973 I miss you... often. 138 00:09:47,879 --> 00:09:49,708 Okay, so what now? 139 00:09:51,266 --> 00:09:54,067 I mean if I say: "Yes," then what? It will happen? 140 00:09:54,629 --> 00:09:57,904 What? This isn't therapy, so it's okay all of the sudden? 141 00:09:58,746 --> 00:10:01,095 You know what? This whole thing doesn't seem right. It... 142 00:10:01,195 --> 00:10:03,339 - it feels weird. - What? That I... 143 00:10:04,311 --> 00:10:06,311 That I said that I had feelings for you? 144 00:10:06,445 --> 00:10:08,901 You're testing me. Are you testing me, Paul? 145 00:10:09,001 --> 00:10:10,360 No. 146 00:10:23,989 --> 00:10:25,407 Okay. 147 00:10:28,782 --> 00:10:30,387 Okay, good. 148 00:10:40,816 --> 00:10:43,921 You know we never... sat on the same couch before. 149 00:10:46,418 --> 00:10:48,199 So what now? 150 00:10:48,422 --> 00:10:50,848 I... I don't know, Paul. 151 00:10:55,532 --> 00:10:57,290 Can I... 152 00:11:03,348 --> 00:11:07,344 I mean, listen to us. It's not supposed to be like this. Everything is so polite. 153 00:11:07,923 --> 00:11:12,165 With Andrew, two hours after I met him I was... I was in his bed. 154 00:11:12,770 --> 00:11:15,052 Lucky it was dark. If I'd seen the condition of his apartment, 155 00:11:15,152 --> 00:11:17,223 I probably wouldn't have slept with him. 156 00:11:17,762 --> 00:11:19,649 No, actually I would have. 157 00:11:19,914 --> 00:11:21,519 'Cause that's how it is with me, I... 158 00:11:21,660 --> 00:11:24,402 - act on impulse. - You think this is acting on impulse? 159 00:11:24,519 --> 00:11:26,640 This isn't impulsive. 160 00:11:27,564 --> 00:11:30,669 This is the longest foreplay I've ever experienced. 161 00:11:31,009 --> 00:11:33,892 A year of just getting to know you. 162 00:11:39,126 --> 00:11:41,575 What do you know about me, Laura? 163 00:11:44,470 --> 00:11:46,380 Specific, you mean? 164 00:11:49,855 --> 00:11:51,730 I know some things. 165 00:11:52,527 --> 00:11:54,015 I know you have children. 166 00:11:54,203 --> 00:11:57,636 Yes, I do. Max, Rosie, Ian, yeah. What else? 167 00:12:09,922 --> 00:12:12,641 Once or twice you haven't worn your wedding ring. 168 00:12:13,973 --> 00:12:15,684 I noticed that. 169 00:12:19,521 --> 00:12:21,197 It's because... 170 00:12:22,545 --> 00:12:25,264 sometimes when I'm washing the dishes, the... 171 00:12:28,291 --> 00:12:30,764 the dishwash gets under the band and... 172 00:12:31,866 --> 00:12:33,916 irritates the skin. 173 00:12:40,326 --> 00:12:42,330 What are you thinking about now? 174 00:12:43,396 --> 00:12:44,767 Just you. 175 00:13:01,072 --> 00:13:04,798 I remember once when I was... when I was 14. 176 00:13:05,747 --> 00:13:08,149 I... had a crush. 177 00:13:08,442 --> 00:13:09,965 No, actually... 178 00:13:10,083 --> 00:13:11,676 I didn't have a crush, I... 179 00:13:11,856 --> 00:13:13,473 I fell in love with... 180 00:13:14,615 --> 00:13:16,760 my... my biology teacher. 181 00:13:16,865 --> 00:13:20,252 - Oh yeah? Well. - She must have been about 33, 34. 182 00:13:21,255 --> 00:13:22,310 And... 183 00:13:22,474 --> 00:13:25,029 I used to write these big, long poems, 184 00:13:25,392 --> 00:13:27,994 and I would put them in my homework. 185 00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:31,264 And I remember... 186 00:13:31,710 --> 00:13:35,011 saying to her one day: "I'm not interested in girls my age. 187 00:13:35,111 --> 00:13:38,706 They don't get me, they don't understand me, they don't know who the real me is." 188 00:13:38,933 --> 00:13:41,324 What I really wanted was... 189 00:13:42,754 --> 00:13:44,066 was her. 190 00:13:45,141 --> 00:13:47,661 So, one day... 191 00:13:48,634 --> 00:13:53,497 I found myself alone in the lab, a science lab, with her. 192 00:13:54,680 --> 00:13:57,750 And I heard myself say... that... 193 00:14:00,110 --> 00:14:02,078 that I just had to kiss her. 194 00:14:02,371 --> 00:14:04,141 And what happened? 195 00:14:07,105 --> 00:14:09,155 She turned off the lights, 196 00:14:10,444 --> 00:14:12,284 and she came right up to me, 197 00:14:12,940 --> 00:14:15,515 and she was facing me in complete darkness. 198 00:14:16,470 --> 00:14:19,986 And... I remember the sound of her breathing, 199 00:14:20,326 --> 00:14:23,337 and the smell of her perfume. 200 00:14:24,361 --> 00:14:27,325 It was like I... I was drunk or something. 201 00:14:28,146 --> 00:14:29,786 She looked me straight in the eye 202 00:14:29,958 --> 00:14:31,966 and she said really quietly: 203 00:14:33,933 --> 00:14:35,304 "Go on." 204 00:14:35,515 --> 00:14:36,910 "Do it." 205 00:14:37,754 --> 00:14:39,394 "Just do it." 206 00:14:41,889 --> 00:14:43,260 You know what happened? 207 00:14:43,366 --> 00:14:44,620 What? 208 00:14:44,831 --> 00:14:47,139 I got the hell out of there. Ran away. 209 00:14:50,029 --> 00:14:53,018 Did you ever think what would have happened if you hadn't run, 210 00:14:53,123 --> 00:14:54,635 if you had kissed her? 211 00:14:55,162 --> 00:14:57,318 I used to think about that all the time. 212 00:14:59,581 --> 00:15:01,620 But now when I think of it, I... 213 00:15:02,358 --> 00:15:03,905 I thank her for it. I do. 214 00:15:04,022 --> 00:15:06,261 - For what? For scaring you? - No. 215 00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:12,072 I guess she showed me that what I felt or that what I thought I felt, 216 00:15:12,172 --> 00:15:15,380 even though it was real and genuine to me, was... 217 00:15:16,461 --> 00:15:18,770 was really just a fantasy. 218 00:15:19,684 --> 00:15:21,652 It wasn't real. 219 00:15:22,071 --> 00:15:24,810 And... that she had the compassion to let me go. 220 00:15:24,910 --> 00:15:27,485 back to my... to my future. 221 00:15:39,866 --> 00:15:42,151 David didn't turn out the lights. 222 00:15:49,173 --> 00:15:51,576 He said he wanted to look at me. 223 00:15:53,501 --> 00:15:55,903 That my body was amazing, that I was beautiful. 224 00:15:56,114 --> 00:15:58,270 He went on and on about that. 225 00:16:01,854 --> 00:16:04,233 I can't believe how naive I was. 226 00:16:05,604 --> 00:16:09,184 What I thought was gonna happen when I walked into his room, I... 227 00:16:10,815 --> 00:16:14,589 God, isn't it crazy, all the things you imagined what sex would be when you're young? 228 00:16:15,233 --> 00:16:17,882 Well, I had very romantic thoughts. 229 00:16:20,288 --> 00:16:24,096 I imagined an angle would come and when we're in bed she'd touch me, 230 00:16:25,385 --> 00:16:27,635 and erase my former life. 231 00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:37,903 He told me how proud he was of me. 232 00:16:38,737 --> 00:16:41,796 When I was in California, he told me I was ripe for this, 233 00:16:42,112 --> 00:16:43,741 that I was a woman. 234 00:16:44,456 --> 00:16:46,226 He said that I was ready. 235 00:16:49,576 --> 00:16:51,838 And he started whispering to me, he said: 236 00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:54,290 he never had such a hard-on in his life, 237 00:16:54,390 --> 00:16:55,940 and he said, "See what you did to me?" 238 00:16:58,217 --> 00:17:00,054 And he undressed, 239 00:17:00,607 --> 00:17:03,924 and stood in the middle of the room, showing me what I did to him. 240 00:17:05,084 --> 00:17:06,935 Then he undressed me. 241 00:17:07,796 --> 00:17:09,800 He was very professional. 242 00:17:15,647 --> 00:17:18,318 I remember he... spit... 243 00:17:20,076 --> 00:17:21,799 into his hands... 244 00:17:22,232 --> 00:17:23,990 in order to wet his... 245 00:17:24,738 --> 00:17:26,847 It was disgusting. 246 00:17:29,618 --> 00:17:31,352 I think that was the minute that I... 247 00:17:31,481 --> 00:17:35,430 I wanted to run away, but it was too late because he said that I was ready. 248 00:17:37,501 --> 00:17:39,540 Listen to me, Laura. 249 00:17:40,142 --> 00:17:42,627 It's really important that you understand... 250 00:17:42,779 --> 00:17:45,287 that none of this was your fault. 251 00:17:45,416 --> 00:17:47,759 You were 16 years of age. 252 00:17:47,943 --> 00:17:51,177 You didn't.... How could you have known was what's gonna happen? 253 00:17:51,341 --> 00:17:52,975 How could you know what to expect? 254 00:17:53,075 --> 00:17:55,020 I wanted him to hold me, Paul. 255 00:17:56,049 --> 00:17:57,859 to take me away from the house, 256 00:17:57,959 --> 00:17:59,596 to take me away from the death of that house. 257 00:17:59,696 --> 00:18:01,802 I just wanted him to help me get away. 258 00:18:03,897 --> 00:18:05,819 I never wanted him to fuck me. 259 00:18:05,919 --> 00:18:07,596 Oh, Laura. 260 00:18:30,295 --> 00:18:31,526 Fuck, I ruined it. 261 00:18:31,631 --> 00:18:32,902 - No. - You don't want me anymore. 262 00:18:33,002 --> 00:18:35,803 No, no... It's not true, Laura. Please. 263 00:18:35,967 --> 00:18:37,291 Listen to me. 264 00:18:37,867 --> 00:18:39,578 I really care about you. 265 00:18:40,621 --> 00:18:43,210 I really care about what happens to you. 266 00:18:43,972 --> 00:18:45,074 And... 267 00:18:46,354 --> 00:18:49,539 I will not do anything in the world to hurt you, I promise. 268 00:18:50,064 --> 00:18:51,101 Look... 269 00:18:51,201 --> 00:18:53,178 I think the real damage that David did, 270 00:18:53,278 --> 00:18:56,087 he destroyed your ability to communicate with men 271 00:18:56,211 --> 00:18:58,213 - from a non-sexual place... - No, it's not true. 272 00:18:58,313 --> 00:19:00,665 - Yes, I think it is true. - You make me sound like I'm so terrible, Paul. 273 00:19:00,765 --> 00:19:02,763 There is nothing terrible about you to me, Laura. 274 00:19:02,863 --> 00:19:04,459 You know, if you don't wanna fuck me? 275 00:19:04,559 --> 00:19:06,111 Don't fuck me. I'm a big girl. 276 00:19:06,211 --> 00:19:08,599 I can take it. Go on. Say it to my face. Go on! 277 00:19:08,713 --> 00:19:10,635 Laura, listen to me. 278 00:19:10,843 --> 00:19:13,203 I think you feel that if I don't sleep with you, 279 00:19:13,303 --> 00:19:15,327 I'm not gonna be interested in you, 280 00:19:15,638 --> 00:19:17,244 in who you are. 281 00:19:17,525 --> 00:19:20,420 But I am not willing to betray you. 282 00:19:20,767 --> 00:19:22,428 I am not going to disappoint you. 283 00:19:22,528 --> 00:19:25,232 I will not be another David. 284 00:19:25,407 --> 00:19:27,423 There's something going on between us, Paul. 285 00:19:27,622 --> 00:19:30,001 Something more, and you know it. 286 00:19:30,457 --> 00:19:32,590 You're just too fucking afraid. 287 00:19:36,012 --> 00:19:37,992 It's my brother. 288 00:19:38,648 --> 00:19:40,160 Hi, Olie. 289 00:19:42,342 --> 00:19:43,900 Great. 290 00:19:44,498 --> 00:19:47,717 You know what, tell them not to move him until I get there. I'll be right there, okay? 291 00:19:47,817 --> 00:19:49,314 Okay. Bye. 292 00:19:51,137 --> 00:19:53,574 Well, his temperature's normal. 293 00:19:53,891 --> 00:19:55,344 Good. 294 00:19:55,613 --> 00:19:56,926 That's good news. 295 00:20:02,461 --> 00:20:04,114 It'll be okay. 296 00:20:04,897 --> 00:20:07,262 I promise you. 297 00:20:17,825 --> 00:20:20,056 It will be okay. 298 00:20:22,269 --> 00:20:24,519 Okay. 299 00:21:07,033 --> 00:21:08,898 Hi.