1 00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:02,560 Previously on "In Treatment" 2 00:00:03,150 --> 00:00:04,960 Well David was my first. 3 00:00:05,320 --> 00:00:07,080 Don't look at me like that. I wasn't the victim. 4 00:00:07,180 --> 00:00:10,610 -I got him to his bed. -I was a 40-year-old man, for Christ's sake. 5 00:00:10,930 --> 00:00:13,130 Your father had no idea what was going on? 6 00:00:13,890 --> 00:00:16,560 -He was asleep in the next room. -I think it's important 7 00:00:16,880 --> 00:00:20,140 that you talk to your father about this, 8 00:00:21,070 --> 00:00:22,880 while it's still possible. 9 00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:25,970 You know that this thing with me and Alex is over. 10 00:00:27,070 --> 00:00:28,670 I ended it. 11 00:00:30,230 --> 00:00:31,980 I can't continue, Paul. 12 00:00:32,440 --> 00:00:34,840 Every minute here is tearing me apart. 13 00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:47,100 Daddy? 14 00:01:26,460 --> 00:01:29,400 In Treatment- Season 1 Episode 26- "Laura- Week Six" 15 00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:57,910 Yes, hello? 16 00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:02,310 No, I'm uh... I'm on my way somewhere. 17 00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:04,400 No, not to the ward. 18 00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:08,320 No, absolutely not. 19 00:02:09,140 --> 00:02:10,760 Because his temperature is slightly up, 20 00:02:10,860 --> 00:02:13,100 and I don't want it to get out of hand. 21 00:02:14,350 --> 00:02:16,770 Just... just tell them to take care of him until I get there. 22 00:02:16,870 --> 00:02:18,510 Just keep an eye on his fever. 23 00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:22,120 In about 90 minutes. 24 00:02:23,690 --> 00:02:26,870 Look, it's... it's important. Can I count on you? 25 00:02:28,130 --> 00:02:29,300 Okay. 26 00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:31,490 Okay, bye. 27 00:02:32,340 --> 00:02:34,080 -Hi. -Hi. 28 00:02:35,630 --> 00:02:37,190 Here, for you. 29 00:02:38,710 --> 00:02:40,340 -What is it? -There's a... 30 00:02:40,450 --> 00:02:43,090 a farmer's market across the street from the hospital. 31 00:02:43,870 --> 00:02:45,470 Maple syrup. 32 00:02:45,630 --> 00:02:47,130 Vermont's finest. 33 00:02:47,270 --> 00:02:48,350 -Thanks. -Sure. 34 00:02:48,450 --> 00:02:50,790 Your kids eat pancakes, right? 35 00:02:51,890 --> 00:02:53,000 Yeah. 36 00:02:58,540 --> 00:03:00,180 Come on in. 37 00:03:00,930 --> 00:03:02,550 Thanks. 38 00:03:07,150 --> 00:03:08,800 Thanks for seeing me. 39 00:03:09,330 --> 00:03:11,060 When I was dialing your number this morning, I thought, 40 00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:14,070 "Shit! It's not even 8 o'clock. I probably woke everybody up." 41 00:03:14,230 --> 00:03:17,480 Please, this place is a circus by 8 o'clock. 44 00:03:24,870 --> 00:03:26,750 Anyway, thanks. 45 00:03:30,260 --> 00:03:32,740 I thought my hour would be filled already. 46 00:03:32,920 --> 00:03:35,580 Your hour isn't filled. How is your dad? 47 00:03:36,070 --> 00:03:38,850 -Is he still in I.C.U.? -Yes. 48 00:03:40,510 --> 00:03:44,520 His... temperature went up. They wanted to move him to the ward, but... 49 00:03:45,290 --> 00:03:46,870 I want him kept there as long as possible, 50 00:03:46,970 --> 00:03:49,600 you know, where he's got one-on-one nursing care. 51 00:03:56,790 --> 00:03:58,840 He looks so small, you know? 52 00:03:59,900 --> 00:04:01,580 So tiny. 53 00:04:04,460 --> 00:04:06,870 He looks lost in that huge bed. 54 00:04:10,310 --> 00:04:13,490 Could barely see his body under the sheets. 55 00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:20,120 Looks like E.T. 56 00:04:23,850 --> 00:04:26,370 You think I'd be more resistent, huh? 57 00:04:26,860 --> 00:04:30,610 I've already seen people shrink to little... gremlins. 58 00:04:34,210 --> 00:04:36,510 But not my father. 59 00:04:44,410 --> 00:04:46,340 I took your advice. 60 00:04:46,850 --> 00:04:48,900 I told him about David. 61 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:52,140 When I left here last week, I called him on the way home. 62 00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:54,490 He was so happy to hear from me. 63 00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:58,160 It's been a month since we'd seen each other. 64 00:04:59,070 --> 00:05:02,230 So I went around to his house and he ordered takeout. 65 00:05:02,950 --> 00:05:04,860 My dad never orders takeout. 66 00:05:05,100 --> 00:05:09,050 He doesn't know how. I swear he ordered half the menu. I'm not exaggerating. 67 00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:16,830 Well, he means well, but I don't think he knows what I like. 68 00:05:18,740 --> 00:05:20,790 Do you know what your kids like? 69 00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:23,750 You mean apart from pancakes? 70 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:29,260 When I told him about David, he said: 71 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:34,450 "I thought so." 72 00:05:35,660 --> 00:05:38,250 We were sitting in the kitchen, surrounded by takeout containers, 73 00:05:38,350 --> 00:05:39,960 about 20 of them and... 74 00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:43,870 he was just pushing his eggroll from one side of the plate to the other, 75 00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:46,220 dipping it in the hot mustard without looking up at me 76 00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:48,180 and said "I thought so". 77 00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:58,860 Did you tell him the full story? 78 00:05:58,970 --> 00:06:00,470 Yeah, well... 79 00:06:01,070 --> 00:06:04,370 More or less. I told him I slept with David at our house and... 80 00:06:04,660 --> 00:06:06,490 he asked me if it continued later. 81 00:06:06,590 --> 00:06:08,190 I said: "No, it was just... 82 00:06:08,610 --> 00:06:10,300 a passing thing," 83 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:14,180 that nothing happened to me, and he didn't need to worry, 84 00:06:14,410 --> 00:06:15,920 that it came up in therapy, 85 00:06:16,050 --> 00:06:18,690 and I should talk to him about it. 86 00:06:18,830 --> 00:06:21,830 It doesn't sound to me that your father was... 87 00:06:22,690 --> 00:06:25,250 Doesn't sound like he was surprised. 88 00:06:26,830 --> 00:06:28,800 How do you feel about that? 89 00:06:29,780 --> 00:06:32,240 That he might have known all along and that... 90 00:06:33,050 --> 00:06:35,510 that he didn't do anything about it? 91 00:06:36,460 --> 00:06:38,550 I didn't take it that way. 92 00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:42,190 Look, Paul, the pain, you know the shock of it was so bad 93 00:06:42,290 --> 00:06:45,660 he immediately had to act as if he'd known all along. 94 00:06:46,350 --> 00:06:48,920 As if to deflect the shock of it to... 95 00:06:51,710 --> 00:06:53,760 Old habits die hard, huh? 96 00:06:53,860 --> 00:06:55,400 You can take the girl out of therapy, 97 00:06:55,500 --> 00:06:58,370 but you can't take a therapy out of the conversation. 98 00:07:12,970 --> 00:07:14,550 It's funny. 99 00:07:14,860 --> 00:07:16,770 Things are so different. 100 00:07:17,670 --> 00:07:19,840 It feels like I haven't been here for a year. 101 00:07:27,290 --> 00:07:29,150 Are those new shoes? 102 00:07:29,510 --> 00:07:31,860 These? No. I found them in the closet, 103 00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:34,440 forgot about them. I used to wear them before... 104 00:07:34,910 --> 00:07:36,400 before I was married. 105 00:07:36,510 --> 00:07:38,140 - They're nice. - You think so? 106 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:49,920 I'm really glad that you called. 107 00:07:51,220 --> 00:07:52,930 Really? 108 00:07:53,450 --> 00:07:55,940 What, did you miss me? 109 00:07:58,310 --> 00:08:00,100 Yes, I did. 110 00:08:02,980 --> 00:08:05,410 Even after that dramatic exit last week? 111 00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:06,910 Yeah. 112 00:08:08,450 --> 00:08:09,830 Really? 113 00:08:10,810 --> 00:08:12,300 Yeah. 114 00:08:13,100 --> 00:08:15,360 I guess the prospect of... 115 00:08:16,370 --> 00:08:18,480 of not seeing you again kind of... 116 00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:21,120 kind of scared me. 117 00:08:22,730 --> 00:08:25,390 Losing a patient is such a big deal? 118 00:08:28,210 --> 00:08:30,460 Losing you is a big deal. 119 00:08:37,730 --> 00:08:39,280 Does it bother you that I said that? 120 00:08:39,380 --> 00:08:41,520 No, I just don't understand why you're saying it. 121 00:08:41,620 --> 00:08:43,320 I mean why now? 122 00:08:46,150 --> 00:08:48,280 - Is this a trick? - Why... 123 00:08:48,700 --> 00:08:50,280 Why would I be tricking you? 124 00:08:50,410 --> 00:08:53,560 I just don't understand why you're saying it. To be honest, 125 00:08:53,660 --> 00:08:55,370 I... I don't really believe you. 126 00:08:55,500 --> 00:08:57,210 It's the truth, Laura. 127 00:08:58,490 --> 00:09:01,090 I'm trying to say how I feel about you. 128 00:09:01,190 --> 00:09:03,880 I think you deserve to know. I think it's... 129 00:09:05,620 --> 00:09:07,730 I think it's time for you to know. 130 00:09:08,680 --> 00:09:09,750 Know what? 131 00:09:09,910 --> 00:09:12,490 That I have very deep feelings for you. 132 00:09:14,060 --> 00:09:16,630 I... I keep thinking about you all the time. 133 00:09:17,150 --> 00:09:19,420 I really miss you sometimes, it's... 134 00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:21,690 No. 135 00:09:22,060 --> 00:09:23,770 Not sometimes. 136 00:09:24,910 --> 00:09:26,090 Often. 137 00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:28,970 I miss you... often. 138 00:09:46,870 --> 00:09:48,700 Okay, so what now? 139 00:09:50,260 --> 00:09:53,060 I mean if I say: "Yes," then what? It will happen? 140 00:09:53,620 --> 00:09:56,900 What? This isn't therapy, so it's okay all of the sudden? 141 00:09:57,740 --> 00:10:00,090 You know what? This whole thing doesn't seem right. It... 142 00:10:00,190 --> 00:10:02,330 - it feels weird. - What? That I... 143 00:10:03,310 --> 00:10:05,310 That I said that I had feelings for you? 144 00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:07,900 You're testing me. Are you testing me, Paul? 145 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:09,360 No. 146 00:10:22,980 --> 00:10:24,400 Okay. 147 00:10:27,780 --> 00:10:29,380 Okay, good. 148 00:10:39,810 --> 00:10:42,920 You know we never... sat on the same couch before. 149 00:10:45,410 --> 00:10:47,190 So what now? 150 00:10:47,420 --> 00:10:49,840 I... I don't know, Paul. 151 00:10:54,530 --> 00:10:56,290 Can I... 152 00:11:02,340 --> 00:11:06,340 I mean, listen to us. It's not supposed to be like this. Everything is so polite. 153 00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:11,160 With Andrew, two hours after I met him I was... I was in his bed. 154 00:11:11,770 --> 00:11:14,050 Lucky it was dark. If I'd seen the condition of his apartment, 155 00:11:14,150 --> 00:11:16,220 I probably wouldn't have slept with him. 156 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:18,640 No, actually I would have. 157 00:11:18,910 --> 00:11:20,510 'Cause that's how it is with me, I... 158 00:11:20,660 --> 00:11:23,400 - act on impulse. - You think this is acting on impulse? 159 00:11:23,510 --> 00:11:25,640 This isn't impulsive. 160 00:11:26,560 --> 00:11:29,660 This is the longest foreplay I've ever experienced. 161 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,890 A year of just getting to know you. 162 00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:40,570 What do you know about me, Laura? 163 00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:45,380 Specific, you mean? 164 00:11:48,850 --> 00:11:50,730 I know some things. 165 00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:53,010 I know you have children. 166 00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:56,630 Yes, I do. Max, Rosie, Ian, yeah. What else? 167 00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:11,640 Once or twice you haven't worn your wedding ring. 168 00:12:12,970 --> 00:12:14,680 I noticed that. 169 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:20,190 It's because... 170 00:12:21,540 --> 00:12:24,260 sometimes when I'm washing the dishes, the... 171 00:12:27,290 --> 00:12:29,760 the dishwash gets under the band and... 172 00:12:30,860 --> 00:12:32,910 irritates the skin. 173 00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:41,330 What are you thinking about now? 174 00:12:42,390 --> 00:12:43,760 Just you. 175 00:13:00,070 --> 00:13:03,790 I remember once when I was... when I was 14. 176 00:13:04,740 --> 00:13:07,140 I... had a crush. 177 00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:08,960 No, actually... 178 00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:10,670 I didn't have a crush, I... 179 00:13:10,850 --> 00:13:12,470 I fell in love with... 180 00:13:13,610 --> 00:13:15,760 my... my biology teacher. 181 00:13:15,860 --> 00:13:19,250 - Oh yeah? Well. - She must have been about 33, 34. 182 00:13:20,250 --> 00:13:21,310 And... 183 00:13:21,470 --> 00:13:24,020 I used to write these big, long poems, 184 00:13:24,390 --> 00:13:26,990 and I would put them in my homework. 185 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:30,260 And I remember... 186 00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:34,010 saying to her one day: "I'm not interested in girls my age. 187 00:13:34,110 --> 00:13:37,700 They don't get me, they don't understand me, they don't know who the real me is." 188 00:13:37,930 --> 00:13:40,320 What I really wanted was... 189 00:13:41,750 --> 00:13:43,060 was her. 190 00:13:44,140 --> 00:13:46,660 So, one day... 191 00:13:47,630 --> 00:13:52,490 I found myself alone in the lab, a science lab, with her. 192 00:13:53,680 --> 00:13:56,750 And I heard myself say... that... 193 00:13:59,110 --> 00:14:01,070 that I just had to kiss her. 194 00:14:01,370 --> 00:14:03,140 And what happened? 195 00:14:06,100 --> 00:14:08,150 She turned off the lights, 196 00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:11,280 and she came right up to me, 197 00:14:11,940 --> 00:14:14,510 and she was facing me in complete darkness. 198 00:14:15,470 --> 00:14:18,980 And... I remember the sound of her breathing, 199 00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:22,330 and the smell of her perfume. 200 00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:26,320 It was like I... I was drunk or something. 201 00:14:27,140 --> 00:14:28,780 She looked me straight in the eye 202 00:14:28,950 --> 00:14:30,960 and she said really quietly: 203 00:14:32,930 --> 00:14:34,300 "Go on." 204 00:14:34,510 --> 00:14:35,910 "Do it." 205 00:14:36,750 --> 00:14:38,390 "Just do it." 206 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,260 You know what happened? 207 00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:43,620 What? 208 00:14:43,830 --> 00:14:46,130 I got the hell out of there. Ran away. 209 00:14:49,020 --> 00:14:52,010 Did you ever think what would have happened if you hadn't run, 210 00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:53,630 if you had kissed her? 211 00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:56,310 I used to think about that all the time. 212 00:14:58,580 --> 00:15:00,620 But now when I think of it, I... 213 00:15:01,350 --> 00:15:02,900 I thank her for it. I do. 214 00:15:03,020 --> 00:15:05,260 - For what? For scaring you? - No. 215 00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:11,070 I guess she showed me that what I felt or that what I thought I felt, 216 00:15:11,170 --> 00:15:14,380 even though it was real and genuine to me, was... 217 00:15:15,460 --> 00:15:17,770 was really just a fantasy. 218 00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:20,650 It wasn't real. 219 00:15:21,070 --> 00:15:23,810 And... that she had the compassion to let me go. 220 00:15:23,910 --> 00:15:26,480 back to my... to my future. 221 00:15:38,860 --> 00:15:41,150 David didn't turn out the lights. 222 00:15:48,170 --> 00:15:50,570 He said he wanted to look at me. 223 00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:54,900 That my body was amazing, that I was beautiful. 224 00:15:55,110 --> 00:15:57,270 He went on and on about that. 225 00:16:00,850 --> 00:16:03,230 I can't believe how naive I was. 226 00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:08,180 What I thought was gonna happen when I walked into his room, I... 227 00:16:09,810 --> 00:16:13,580 God, isn't it crazy, all the things you imagined what sex would be when you're young? 228 00:16:14,230 --> 00:16:16,880 Well, I had very romantic thoughts. 229 00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:23,090 I imagined an angle would come and when we're in bed she'd touch me, 230 00:16:24,380 --> 00:16:26,630 and erase my former life. 231 00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:36,900 He told me how proud he was of me. 232 00:16:37,730 --> 00:16:40,790 When I was in California, he told me I was ripe for this, 233 00:16:41,110 --> 00:16:42,740 that I was a woman. 234 00:16:43,450 --> 00:16:45,220 He said that I was ready. 235 00:16:48,570 --> 00:16:50,830 And he started whispering to me, he said: 236 00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:53,290 he never had such a hard-on in his life, 237 00:16:53,390 --> 00:16:54,940 and he said, "See what you did to me?" 238 00:16:57,210 --> 00:16:59,050 And he undressed, 239 00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:02,920 and stood in the middle of the room, showing me what I did to him. 240 00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:05,930 Then he undressed me. 241 00:17:06,790 --> 00:17:08,800 He was very professional. 242 00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:17,310 I remember he... spit... 243 00:17:19,070 --> 00:17:20,790 into his hands... 244 00:17:21,230 --> 00:17:22,990 in order to wet his... 245 00:17:23,730 --> 00:17:25,840 It was disgusting. 246 00:17:28,610 --> 00:17:30,350 I think that was the minute that I... 247 00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:34,430 I wanted to run away, but it was too late because he said that I was ready. 248 00:17:36,500 --> 00:17:38,540 Listen to me, Laura. 249 00:17:39,140 --> 00:17:41,620 It's really important that you understand... 250 00:17:41,770 --> 00:17:44,280 that none of this was your fault. 251 00:17:44,410 --> 00:17:46,750 You were 16 years of age. 252 00:17:46,940 --> 00:17:50,170 You didn't.... How could you have known was what's gonna happen? 253 00:17:50,340 --> 00:17:51,970 How could you know what to expect? 254 00:17:52,070 --> 00:17:54,020 I wanted him to hold me, Paul. 255 00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:56,850 to take me away from the house, 256 00:17:56,950 --> 00:17:58,590 to take me away from the death of that house. 257 00:17:58,690 --> 00:18:00,800 I just wanted him to help me get away. 258 00:18:02,890 --> 00:18:04,810 I never wanted him to fuck me. 259 00:18:04,910 --> 00:18:06,590 Oh, Laura. 260 00:18:29,290 --> 00:18:30,520 Fuck, I ruined it. 261 00:18:30,630 --> 00:18:31,900 - No. - You don't want me anymore. 262 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:34,800 No, no... It's not true, Laura. Please. 263 00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:36,290 Listen to me. 264 00:18:36,860 --> 00:18:38,570 I really care about you. 265 00:18:39,620 --> 00:18:42,210 I really care about what happens to you. 266 00:18:42,970 --> 00:18:44,070 And... 267 00:18:45,350 --> 00:18:48,530 I will not do anything in the world to hurt you, I promise. 268 00:18:49,060 --> 00:18:50,100 Look... 269 00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:52,170 I think the real damage that David did, 270 00:18:52,270 --> 00:18:55,080 he destroyed your ability to communicate with men 271 00:18:55,210 --> 00:18:57,210 - from a non-sexual place... - No, it's not true. 272 00:18:57,310 --> 00:18:59,660 - Yes, I think it is true. - You make me sound like I'm so terrible, Paul. 273 00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:01,760 There is nothing terrible about you to me, Laura. 274 00:19:01,860 --> 00:19:03,450 You know, if you don't wanna fuck me? 275 00:19:03,550 --> 00:19:05,110 Don't fuck me. I'm a big girl. 276 00:19:05,210 --> 00:19:07,590 I can take it. Go on. Say it to my face. Go on! 277 00:19:07,710 --> 00:19:09,630 Laura, listen to me. 278 00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:12,200 I think you feel that if I don't sleep with you, 279 00:19:12,300 --> 00:19:14,320 I'm not gonna be interested in you, 280 00:19:14,630 --> 00:19:16,240 in who you are. 281 00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:19,420 But I am not willing to betray you. 282 00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:21,420 I am not going to disappoint you. 283 00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:24,230 I will not be another David. 284 00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,420 There's something going on between us, Paul. 285 00:19:26,620 --> 00:19:29,000 Something more, and you know it. 286 00:19:29,450 --> 00:19:31,590 You're just too fucking afraid. 287 00:19:35,010 --> 00:19:36,990 It's my brother. 288 00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:39,160 Hi, Olie. 289 00:19:41,340 --> 00:19:42,900 Great. 290 00:19:43,490 --> 00:19:46,710 You know what, tell them not to move him until I get there. I'll be right there, okay? 291 00:19:46,810 --> 00:19:48,310 Okay. Bye. 292 00:19:50,130 --> 00:19:52,570 Well, his temperature's normal. 293 00:19:52,890 --> 00:19:54,340 Good. 294 00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:55,920 That's good news. 295 00:20:01,460 --> 00:20:03,110 It'll be okay. 296 00:20:03,890 --> 00:20:06,260 I promise you. 297 00:20:16,820 --> 00:20:19,050 It will be okay. 298 00:20:21,260 --> 00:20:23,510 Okay. 299 00:21:06,030 --> 00:21:07,890 Hi.