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<font color="#3399CC">Subtitles by </font><font color="ffffff">MemoryOnSmells</font>
<font color="#3399CC">http://UKsubtitles.ru.</font>

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Hello, everybody.
Hello and welcome.

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Thank you, everybody, thank you
so much. Thank you, thank you.

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Now, Mercedes, a little while ago
they started making AMG

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performance versions of standard
cars, and then they started

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making performance versions
of the performance versions.

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These were called the Blacks,

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and the latest car to get
the treatment is this one.

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The SLS.

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I have driven the SLS many times
and I have never once thought,

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"You know what? They should give
this thing more power."

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But that's exactly
what they've done.

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The standard car produces
583 horsepowers.

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This produces 622.

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And in engineering circles,
622 horsepower is known as a lot.

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It's about that much, and it's
got hairs growing out of it.

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It's not just more powerful,
it's also 70 kilograms lighter,

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thanks to a carbon-fibre bonnet
and a titanium exhaust system.

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So now, 0 to 60 takes 3.6 seconds.

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And the top speed is as near as
makes no difference 200mph.

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To harness all this firepower,
the SLS Black is fitted with

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a big rear wing
and an electronic differential.

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The upshot is that you can go into
a corner fairly confident that

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you won't come out on
the other side or backwards.

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And that changes
the character of the SLS completely.

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The standard car
is just a huge laugh.

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It scampers about wagging its tail

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every time you go near
the accelerator.

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You just know it was built
to make a lap fun.

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This, though,
this was built to make a lap fast.

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And then when you start cornering,
it's so much more focused

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and direct. This is a serious car.

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I bet it doesn't know a single joke,
not one.

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Of course, if you turn
the traction control off

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and stamp on the throttle,
you can get it to misbehave.

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But you sense immediately
that it doesn't want to do this.

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It doesn't like that.

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"I am a serious
racing car, English sir!

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"Don't drive with
your clown shoes on!"

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Happily, even though it is a serious
racing car, Mercedes hasn't felt

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compelled to make the interior
as bleak as a Swedish police drama.

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You still get sat-nav and air-con
and many buttons that do...things.

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So, it's luxurious and fast
and very, very good,

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but today, it is
rather overshadowed by this.

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Partly, that's because this is
the first car ever to come

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with its own high-visibility jacket,

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and partly it's because it
produces 739 horsepowers.

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Want to hear what that sounds like?

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Well, turn up the volume on your TV
and listen to this.

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Welcome, everyone, to the world's
first electric supercar.

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I am astounded.

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It is as quiet as a library
for church mice.

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It's so quiet, in fact, they fitted
a device in the audio settings

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that generates a bit of noise
to keep you awake.

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Let's just turn that on.

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It doesn't really work.
It's just a hum.

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Still,
it isn't the end of the world,

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because there is another
way of staying awake in this car.

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You put it in sport-plus mode
and put your foot down.

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Holy moly! That is 100mph.

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120.

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130.

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140.

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This is mind-boggling! And listen.

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To find out just how fast it is,
I lined it up for a drag race

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against its petrol-powered twin.

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I have 117 more horsepowers
than he does,

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but I still can't believe I'll win,
because under here,

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there are 864 batteries,

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so this is half a tonne heavier.

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And it's electric,
like a food blender, or torch.

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And how can a glorified torch
possibly beat a 6.2 litre V8?

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Three, two, one.

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It's not a torch!

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It is a rampant rabbit!

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What in the name of God
is powering this thing?

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Well, this is what
an electric SLS looks like

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if you take its high-visibility
jacket off. And this is the key.

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That is the electric motor.
It's the size of a melon.

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It has one moving part
and it produces all of its torques,

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and there are many,
the instant you touch the throttle.

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Now, all electric cars,
the G-Wiz, the Nissan Leaf, the lot,

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have one of these,
but the SLS has four.

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There's one for each wheel,
so it's four-wheel-drive,

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and it has Formula One-style
pushrod suspension

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and a low centre of gravity,

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because all the batteries are
mounted in the spine of the chassis.

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So theoretically,

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this should have the handling
to match the immense grunt.

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In comfort mode,
it feels like any other car, really,

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but when you put it in sport mode,

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all sorts of electronic witchcraft
starts to happen.

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In a corner, the motor's powering
the inside wheels,

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and I can feel this happening.

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They use the sort of brakes
to keep the line tight.

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I can feel the car being pulled in.

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Then you have a system that
pumps juice into the batteries

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every time you slow down, so it
feels like you have engine braking.

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Even though you don't.

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And then there's a computer that
decides which wheel should

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have what amount of power at any
given moment. And the upshot is...

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..this doesn't feel like anything
I've ever driven before.

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It feels twitchy and nervous.
It feels like a thoroughbred.

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It feels brilliant.

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So, let's sum up, then.

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Instant torque, savage power,
mesmerising speed.

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Mercedes quality, no noise
and a petrol bill of exactly nought.

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It sounds, then, like the stuff
of dreams, but there are drawbacks.

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Range, for example.

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If you wanted to drive this car
from London to Manchester,

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you'd have to stop in Stoke-on-Trent
and spend 20 hours charging it up.

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Mercedes themselves say that at
full chat it wouldn't be able to

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do two laps of the Nurburgring.
And they may have a point.

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I've only been out here for
seven minutes on this run,

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and I've used 44% of the juice.

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And there's more.

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The electric SLS is £360,000,
and for that,

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you could have an SLS Black
and 20,000 gallons of petrol,

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which is enough to take it
from here to the moon.

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As a result, you'd have to be soft
in the head to buy the yellow car

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rather than the V8.

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But when there's no choice,
when the oil has run out,

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this car does at least show us that
the speed machines will live on.

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Very good. But hang on. What?

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Are you saying that you drove
an electric car

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all the way around our track
and it didn't break down?

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Of course not. End of the day,
big red light on the dash,

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and that was the end.
But it's working now?

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It's working now.
That's interesting,

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because I think I'm right in saying
this is the first time we've

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ever had the petrol and the electric
version of the same car together.

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And I'm genuinely interested to see
which is fastest round our track.

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So am I.

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And to find out, we must, of course,

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hand them over to our
tame racing driver.

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Some say that he also has
a button that makes him hum...

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..and that if he played football for
Manchester United, he'd be loyal,

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because he's not
a potato-headed oaf.

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What he is, is the Stig!

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And they're off! The electric car
gets off the line faster,

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but the V8 has the higher top speed,
so coming up now to the first

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corner, the electric car using
computers to control its power,

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the Black relying on the Stig's
right paw.

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OK, Chicago, often Black Mercs have
too much torque, which makes them

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a bit of a handful, but this one
has less than the standard car.

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Let's have a look how it deals
with Hammerhead, very good.

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And it still sounds good.

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Better than the electric car,
that's for sure.

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Stig not listening to music
in there,

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because he's trying to save juice.

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Follow-through now,
a chance to open them up,

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and that's properly fast
past the tyres.

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Two corners left.

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Hard on the brakes, the petrol
getting a bit frisky there,

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just Gambon left, piling in hard,
black smoke on its tyres,

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and across the line!

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And so...

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..the electric car, 1.21.7,

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which puts it... That's amazing,

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look at that, the same speed as
a V10 R8, which is pretty quick.

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The dinosaur. 1.19.0. There it is!

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I wasn't panicking! I wasn't!

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It's a relief.
Right, we must move on,

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because it is now time
to do the news.

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Yes, and we begin
with the Government's attitude
to speed limits.

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You did that last week.

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I did it last week and the week
before and the week before that,

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and every single week,
the producers have edited it out.

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Yeah, they have.
But this week I have a cunning plan
to make sure it stays in.

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Do you? Yes, I do, bear with me.

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You know earlier on this year
the Government said they

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were thinking of upping the motorway
speed limit to 80mph, yes?

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Well, the new Transport Minister,
Patrick McLoughlin,

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recently announced
that's not going to happen.

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Which is a blessed relief.
What?! Why?

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Because, if you think about it, if
he'd upped the speed limit to 80,

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to keep the Daily Mail happy
and all the road safety charities,

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he would have had to say, "Right,
we're having more police patrols,

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"more speed cameras, more drones
with more Hellfire missiles,"

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to make sure people stick to 80,

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which is 15mph slower than we all
drive now.

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You're absolutely right. People
on the motorway drive at 95mph.

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And yet, I think
I'm right in saying,

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British motorways are the safest
roads in Europe, statistically.

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They are indeed. I did an experiment
to prove my 95mph point this morning

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and I drove down the motorway here
at exactly 70.

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Don't you always drive down
the motorway at exactly 70?

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Yes, I do. Yes, I do!

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No, I don't. No. I usually drive
slower than that.

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Do you? But for my experiment,
I sped up to 70.

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OK? I drove for 15 miles at 70.

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Guess how many cars overtook me?
I'm guessing quite a few. 103.

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That was all of them. Exactly.

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So thank you very much,
Mr McLoughlin, for maintaining

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the 70mph speed limit, because that
means we can all carry on doing 95.

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And that's the end of the news.
What?! Is it?

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Can't edit that out, can they?
Oh, I see what you did!

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That's the only thing in it!
It's got to go in.

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It's good. Well done.

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And now we must move on to
something else they can't edit out,

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because, as I'm sure
we're all aware,

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Britain has started flooding
quite often these days.

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00:14:49,563 --> 00:14:50,963
A couple of reasons for this.

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One, a lot of people these days
are buying Toyota Priuses,

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which is cooling the world down
and that's causing more rain.

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And a lot of houses
are being built on flood plains,

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so there's nowhere
for the water to go.

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Yes, and because of this, we are

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forever seeing pictures of towns
that have been flooded.

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Tewksbury, Haywards Heath,
Doncaster, they've all been hit,

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and whenever we look
at these pictures,

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you can always see
lots of marooned cars.

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And this got us thinking.

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Is there some simple way that
cars can be kept mobile

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even when the street
is under three feet of water?

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Now, obviously, you can't simply fit
an outboard motor to the back,

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like we did with our cross-channel
Nissan pick-up truck,

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because the propeller would snag
submerged obstacles around towns,

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and you can't really use oars,
because that would be exhausting.

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It all looked hopeless,
but then I had an idea.

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I think this is the ideal transport
for a flooded town

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such as Doncaster or Tewkesbury,
because a hovercraft simply

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glides over road signs, railings,
cows, just about everything, really.

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Gentlemen, I give you...the future.

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Is it?! Are you suggesting that

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if you live in a town
that might flood... Yeah.

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..you go everywhere on a hovercraft
in preparation for that day

228
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when it does flood, if it does? No.

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OK, you have a hovercraft for when
it floods, but I'm saying

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00:16:34,963 --> 00:16:38,803
we put wheels on the bottom of this
and then it's a normal car!

231
00:16:38,803 --> 00:16:41,843
No, it isn't! It's a hovercraft
with wheels on the bottom.

232
00:16:41,843 --> 00:16:44,083
Or, this is my other plan,

233
00:16:44,083 --> 00:16:48,363
we get a car and turn it
into a hovercraft, like this.

234
00:16:48,363 --> 00:16:50,963
Oh, for God's sake.
No, he's onto something.

235
00:16:50,963 --> 00:16:55,123
If you think about it, a car
already has an engine and wheels

236
00:16:55,123 --> 00:16:58,483
and space for the passengers
and space for the luggage,

237
00:16:58,483 --> 00:17:03,123
so all you need to do is add to that
another engine to provide the lift.

238
00:17:03,123 --> 00:17:05,763
And another engine to provide
the thrust. There you go.

239
00:17:05,763 --> 00:17:07,403
And some skirts around the bottom.

240
00:17:07,403 --> 00:17:09,443
It's going to have to be quite big,
this car.

241
00:17:09,443 --> 00:17:11,203
There are big cars -
Mercedes S-Class.

242
00:17:11,203 --> 00:17:13,563
Rolls-Royce Phantom, that's massive.
Expensive.

243
00:17:13,563 --> 00:17:16,283
Maserati Quattroporti, you can
pick those up for next to nothing.

244
00:17:16,283 --> 00:17:18,883
You can put three engines in that,
and skirts and everything.

245
00:17:20,483 --> 00:17:23,403
'While Hammond went off
to find a suitable car,

246
00:17:23,403 --> 00:17:27,323
'I spent some time becoming
even more expert at driving
a hovercraft.'

247
00:17:27,323 --> 00:17:29,603
Oh, I wasn't expecting that.

248
00:17:30,843 --> 00:17:35,923
'And James headed off to Top Gear's
secret amphibious engineering centre

249
00:17:35,923 --> 00:17:39,323
'in the Yorkshire town
of Penistone,

250
00:17:39,323 --> 00:17:42,643
'just off St Mary's Street
behind Tesco's.'

251
00:17:45,003 --> 00:17:48,403
While Jeremy hangs around in
the children's playground out there,

252
00:17:48,403 --> 00:17:51,403
I'll go through a few hovercraft
absolute basics for you.

253
00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:53,883
If you imagine looking at it
from the front, you have -

254
00:17:53,883 --> 00:17:55,803
this is very basic - a platform,

255
00:17:55,803 --> 00:17:57,843
wherever you sit
and all the rest of it.

256
00:17:57,843 --> 00:17:59,483
There's a huge fan inside,

257
00:17:59,483 --> 00:18:04,443
which blows air downwards
to form a cushion underneath.

258
00:18:04,443 --> 00:18:07,883
Now, the clever thing is,
this is contained by a flexible

259
00:18:07,883 --> 00:18:10,203
skirt around the edge,

260
00:18:10,203 --> 00:18:12,963
and for this reason it's sort
of self-regulating, because

261
00:18:12,963 --> 00:18:17,203
a certain amount of this cushion
of air escapes out of the sides...

262
00:18:20,083 --> 00:18:22,123
..floating about pointlessly,
so propulsion,

263
00:18:22,123 --> 00:18:23,323
you have generally another...

264
00:18:23,323 --> 00:18:26,723
'Sadly, before James had a chance
to finish his interesting lecture,

265
00:18:26,723 --> 00:18:29,163
'Hammond arrived with his car.'

266
00:18:41,323 --> 00:18:43,363
It's not really a car, is it?

267
00:18:43,363 --> 00:18:47,283
No, it's a Ford transit van,
and it's perfect. Is it?
Let me talk you through it.

268
00:18:47,283 --> 00:18:51,243
What we've got here at the front is
an engine to power the front wheels

269
00:18:51,243 --> 00:18:54,283
and drive it along.
Behind that, seats, room for us.

270
00:18:54,283 --> 00:18:56,203
Behind that, room for our luggage.

271
00:18:56,203 --> 00:18:58,883
Here, room for an engine
to provide lift,

272
00:18:58,883 --> 00:19:02,203
and at the back, room for another
engine to provide thrust.

273
00:19:04,083 --> 00:19:08,043
What?! It's practically a hovercraft
already, I can see it.

274
00:19:08,043 --> 00:19:10,403
It's what we need.

275
00:19:10,403 --> 00:19:13,563
'With the van parked in
the workshop...'

276
00:19:13,563 --> 00:19:14,883
And stop!

277
00:19:17,563 --> 00:19:21,043
'..Richard set to work mounting
the two motorcycle engines

278
00:19:21,043 --> 00:19:23,283
'that would provide lift and thrust.

279
00:19:25,043 --> 00:19:28,323
'I, meanwhile, was making
good progress with the skirts,

280
00:19:28,323 --> 00:19:31,323
'until the expert hover pilot
arrived...'

281
00:19:34,043 --> 00:19:35,883
Sorry! Thank you!

282
00:19:37,243 --> 00:19:39,443
'..and immediately started
to complain

283
00:19:39,443 --> 00:19:41,683
'that we wouldn't have
enough power.'

284
00:19:41,683 --> 00:19:44,803
That is not big enough.
It is. It isn't, it's titchy.

285
00:19:44,803 --> 00:19:47,723
It's a 90 horsepower engine,
and this is doing just the lift.

286
00:19:47,723 --> 00:19:51,483
I've got another 90 horsepower engine
to do the thrust. That's a lot.

287
00:19:51,483 --> 00:19:53,763
Is it? How much power has this got?
35.

288
00:19:53,763 --> 00:19:56,123
And that's got to do both the lift
and the thrust.

289
00:19:56,123 --> 00:19:57,763
I've got two engines, remember.

290
00:19:57,763 --> 00:19:59,843
Look, fire it up, I'll show you
what that can do.

291
00:20:01,283 --> 00:20:02,523
Hold on.

292
00:20:11,003 --> 00:20:12,803
See? So we've got...

293
00:20:12,803 --> 00:20:14,803
We've got many times that.

294
00:20:14,803 --> 00:20:17,203
We've got 35 doing both.
You've got 180.

295
00:20:17,203 --> 00:20:21,323
Yeah, exactly right. The equivalent
of 180 to your 35. That is plenty.

296
00:20:21,323 --> 00:20:25,403
'With the power issues settled,
we went to work.

297
00:20:34,643 --> 00:20:38,203
'Then, out on the proving ground,
I uncovered a problem.'

298
00:20:40,083 --> 00:20:41,403
What are you doing?

299
00:20:41,403 --> 00:20:45,643
Well, it turns out there are some
surfaces where it doesn't work.

300
00:20:45,643 --> 00:20:49,323
I mean, it's all right on the wood
and it's all right on the water.

301
00:20:49,323 --> 00:20:54,883
Think of scale. This is small, these
rocks by comparison are enormous.

302
00:20:54,883 --> 00:20:56,523
If you scale that up...

303
00:20:56,523 --> 00:20:59,563
But if you think about it,

304
00:20:59,563 --> 00:21:03,763
our hovercraft is going to need
to go over, you know, churches...

305
00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:06,203
Not a whole church!

306
00:21:07,643 --> 00:21:10,923
'But despite my concerns,
the work continued.'

307
00:21:12,883 --> 00:21:16,203
My plan is to drive the van normally
from the normal seat over there

308
00:21:16,203 --> 00:21:20,043
and then you switch to
this seat for hover mode.

309
00:21:20,043 --> 00:21:22,403
'Soon the engines were fitted,

310
00:21:22,403 --> 00:21:29,163
'unnecessarily heavy items had been
removed, and our van was ready.'

311
00:21:58,843 --> 00:22:03,683
Gentlemen, Christopher Cockerell,
Barnes Wallis...

312
00:22:03,683 --> 00:22:05,003
Fred Whittle.

313
00:22:05,003 --> 00:22:07,043
You mean Frank. Whatever.

314
00:22:07,043 --> 00:22:10,363
They will all now be shivering
in the cold dark shadow

315
00:22:10,363 --> 00:22:14,003
of our magnificence.
It's utterly, utterly brilliant.

316
00:22:14,003 --> 00:22:17,083
Let me talk you through this thing,
because along the side you'll see

317
00:22:17,083 --> 00:22:20,563
here are the skirts ready
to be deployed when we switch
to hover mode,

318
00:22:20,563 --> 00:22:24,363
then at the back, if we look in here,
you can see mounted amidships,

319
00:22:24,363 --> 00:22:27,683
that's the second engine -
that's powering the lift.

320
00:22:27,683 --> 00:22:31,043
Here at the back, the third engine -
that's powering the thrust.

321
00:22:31,043 --> 00:22:34,163
The fans, the rudder -
it's actually quite beautiful.

322
00:22:38,483 --> 00:22:40,403
'But would it work?

323
00:22:40,403 --> 00:22:44,243
'Well, to find out, we took it
onto the streets of Penistone.'

324
00:22:48,003 --> 00:22:52,283
What I think is critical
is that for 364 days a year,

325
00:22:52,283 --> 00:22:55,563
this has to just be a car,
does it not? Yeah. Yes.

326
00:22:55,563 --> 00:22:58,803
Just something you would use
for shopping,

327
00:22:58,803 --> 00:23:03,123
taking the children to school,
and it's absolutely perfect at that.

328
00:23:03,123 --> 00:23:05,083
I mean,
we're driving around Penistone...

329
00:23:05,083 --> 00:23:08,883
And there's nothing to tell me
there's anything unusual about this.

330
00:23:11,643 --> 00:23:13,203
What they don't realise is that

331
00:23:13,203 --> 00:23:16,723
when the River Penis
bursts its banks, we're ready

332
00:23:16,723 --> 00:23:18,323
in a way that no-one else is. Yeah.

333
00:23:21,883 --> 00:23:26,923
Hey, what about a name?
We haven't thought of a name. Bob.

334
00:23:26,923 --> 00:23:32,443
Transit Fan. Transit Fan! Yeah.
I like that.

335
00:23:32,443 --> 00:23:35,843
Or we could just call it
the hovervan.

336
00:23:35,843 --> 00:23:38,043
Hovervan sort of says what it does.

337
00:23:38,043 --> 00:23:40,443
It does what it says on the tin,
doesn't it?

338
00:23:40,443 --> 00:23:41,723
Yeah, hovervan!

339
00:23:43,163 --> 00:23:46,643
'Having established that it worked
well on the road,

340
00:23:46,643 --> 00:23:50,843
'we found a nearby reservoir where
we could test it on the water.'

341
00:23:54,563 --> 00:23:56,443
This is ideal. This will do.

342
00:23:58,003 --> 00:24:01,043
'After just 90 minutes,
the skirts were deployed,

343
00:24:01,043 --> 00:24:03,883
'the engine waterproofing system
was in place,

344
00:24:03,883 --> 00:24:08,563
'and the three of us had ticked all
the BBC's health and safety boxes.

345
00:24:12,843 --> 00:24:15,883
It's quite exciting. It is. Now,
I'm switching to the hover seat.

346
00:24:15,883 --> 00:24:17,523
I can't walk.

347
00:24:18,883 --> 00:24:24,363
'As a massive crowd gathered,
we began.'

348
00:24:24,363 --> 00:24:27,923
Richard Hammond... Yes!
Engage hover mode. This is it!

349
00:24:27,923 --> 00:24:31,163
Right, this is the lift engine
going on first. Yes.

350
00:24:34,523 --> 00:24:38,923
Yes! We are rising! We are hovering.

351
00:24:38,923 --> 00:24:42,003
Engage thrust mode! Here we go!

352
00:24:44,963 --> 00:24:47,803
Thrust engine is running. Yes!

353
00:24:49,803 --> 00:24:50,963
Oh!

354
00:24:53,523 --> 00:24:55,723
We're moving. We are moving!

355
00:24:55,723 --> 00:24:57,083
It works!

356
00:24:59,803 --> 00:25:00,843
We're going in.

357
00:25:02,483 --> 00:25:04,363
And now the transition
from land to water!

358
00:25:09,083 --> 00:25:13,363
More lift, Hammond, more lift!
I'm giving it all it's got!

359
00:25:13,363 --> 00:25:16,483
Hammond, more! More!

360
00:25:16,483 --> 00:25:18,843
Hammond, more lift!

361
00:25:26,523 --> 00:25:27,603
Hang on!

362
00:25:27,603 --> 00:25:32,043
Why did that happen!
We've got to save it, save it!

363
00:25:32,043 --> 00:25:34,803
OK, we've got a bit of flooding
back here.

364
00:25:34,803 --> 00:25:38,483
When I say a bit, I mean,
quite a lot. Was that full power?

365
00:25:38,483 --> 00:25:41,563
You didn't give it enough lift!
You idiot!

366
00:25:41,563 --> 00:25:44,523
You went in too quickly.
It swamped.

367
00:25:44,523 --> 00:25:48,643
Right, and with that,
back to the drawing board.

368
00:25:55,203 --> 00:25:59,323
Well, that was
a complete catastrophe

369
00:25:59,323 --> 00:26:02,443
and it was all Hammond's fault.
How was it my fault?

370
00:26:02,443 --> 00:26:06,563
Because, as predicted, those engines
weren't powerful enough.

371
00:26:06,563 --> 00:26:09,323
No, the problem was,
and I never thought I'd say this,

372
00:26:09,323 --> 00:26:11,483
James's skirt was too small.

373
00:26:11,483 --> 00:26:14,763
No, no, I'm not having that, there
was nothing wrong with my skirt.

374
00:26:14,763 --> 00:26:18,523
The problem was that he just charged
into the water, as usual,

375
00:26:18,523 --> 00:26:19,763
like an imbecile.

376
00:26:19,763 --> 00:26:22,803
Well, whatever,
it was a total failure,

377
00:26:22,803 --> 00:26:26,283
but Barnes Wallis didn't give up
in the face of adversity,

378
00:26:26,283 --> 00:26:29,243
and neither did we,
as you shall see later on.

379
00:26:29,243 --> 00:26:33,323
Now, though, it is time to put
a star in our reasonably priced car.

380
00:26:33,323 --> 00:26:36,723
Now, my guest tonight is enormously
famous these days

381
00:26:36,723 --> 00:26:38,923
because of his massive sideburns

382
00:26:38,923 --> 00:26:41,563
and because you wouldn't want
to shake hands with him.

383
00:26:41,563 --> 00:26:43,443
Don't worry,
it's not John McCririck.

384
00:26:45,083 --> 00:26:46,363
It is, in fact, Wolverine.

385
00:26:46,363 --> 00:26:49,163
Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome Hugh Jackman!

386
00:26:53,363 --> 00:26:54,923
How are you?

387
00:26:58,523 --> 00:27:01,563
Have a seat. Thank you.

388
00:27:01,563 --> 00:27:03,003
Hands are fine.

389
00:27:07,923 --> 00:27:12,163
That's a lot of smiling faces today.
Smiley, sweaty faces.

390
00:27:12,163 --> 00:27:15,203
I love it. I feel like I'm
in Australia. Thank you for this.

391
00:27:15,203 --> 00:27:18,803
Actually, on that note, we like
to feel our guests feel at home,

392
00:27:18,803 --> 00:27:21,803
so are you enjoying the Ashes? Yeah!

393
00:27:24,483 --> 00:27:27,443
Or would you prefer to talk
about the Lions tour? Yeah.

394
00:27:28,643 --> 00:27:32,243
Or the Olympics, or Andy Murray.
What's going on in this country?!

395
00:27:32,243 --> 00:27:35,123
Since I came here, it's 31,
you're winning every sport,

396
00:27:35,123 --> 00:27:39,003
I'm like, what, this is wrong!
We just had a few years off.

397
00:27:39,003 --> 00:27:41,683
But you know the good thing about
this being such a hot summer,

398
00:27:41,683 --> 00:27:44,603
I've been coming here for many
years, my parents are English,

399
00:27:44,603 --> 00:27:47,883
and since I was 12,
when I first came here,

400
00:27:47,883 --> 00:27:50,403
everyone talks
about the summer of '76.

401
00:27:50,403 --> 00:27:56,523
I'm like, what kind of country
do you live in when everybody
reminisces about the summer of '76?

402
00:27:56,523 --> 00:27:58,883
And finally, that's over.

403
00:27:58,883 --> 00:28:01,483
Trust me, did you miss the first
half of this?

404
00:28:01,483 --> 00:28:04,003
That was BLEEP.

405
00:28:05,643 --> 00:28:08,883
We're going to get onto Wolverine
in a minute, obviously,

406
00:28:08,883 --> 00:28:10,803
the new movie,
but when you were growing up,

407
00:28:10,803 --> 00:28:14,283
from what I can understand, you
actually wanted to be in musicals.

408
00:28:14,283 --> 00:28:17,403
Your recent appearance
in Les Miserables was more where you

409
00:28:17,403 --> 00:28:19,443
wanted to go.
Am I right in saying that?

410
00:28:19,443 --> 00:28:22,003
Yeah. It's weird, I always did...

411
00:28:22,003 --> 00:28:25,323
The musical side of things was
actually more of a surprise for me.

412
00:28:25,323 --> 00:28:28,123
I did a couple of eminent musicals
and I was really bad.

413
00:28:28,123 --> 00:28:30,723
I remember actually doing
West Side Story

414
00:28:30,723 --> 00:28:33,483
for the Eastern Suburbs
Musical Society.

415
00:28:33,483 --> 00:28:35,883
I couldn't sing
any of the top three notes.

416
00:28:35,883 --> 00:28:38,243
I was playing Tony and...

417
00:28:38,243 --> 00:28:41,043
♪ Maria, Maria... ♪
And then it goes really high.

418
00:28:41,043 --> 00:28:43,803
Every night, I can't believe
I did this on stage,

419
00:28:43,803 --> 00:28:46,523
♪ Maria, Maria, Ma... ♪

420
00:28:49,083 --> 00:28:50,443
Looking into the wings...

421
00:28:51,883 --> 00:28:53,403
♪ Maria! ♪

422
00:28:55,123 --> 00:28:56,643
A really clever way.

423
00:28:56,643 --> 00:28:59,483
All my mates came, "That sound
department sucked, man.

424
00:28:59,483 --> 00:29:03,123
"You were awesome, and right at
the key moment, just cut out!"

425
00:29:03,123 --> 00:29:07,483
Obviously, you made a name
for yourself before Wolverine
came along,

426
00:29:07,483 --> 00:29:11,963
but what was it that caused you to
say, "Yeah, I want to move into..."

427
00:29:11,963 --> 00:29:15,043
effectively, the kind of comic book
franchise of X-Men?

428
00:29:15,043 --> 00:29:16,363
It's interesting.

429
00:29:16,363 --> 00:29:19,883
When I got the part of Wolverine,
first of all,

430
00:29:19,883 --> 00:29:21,883
I would have taken it
no matter what it was,

431
00:29:21,883 --> 00:29:24,363
I had no other job at the time,
but I didn't realise how good

432
00:29:24,363 --> 00:29:28,723
a part it was, and in fact,
my wife said, "You can't do this.
This is ridiculous."

433
00:29:28,723 --> 00:29:31,483
I was auditioning, she read
the scene with me and said,

434
00:29:31,483 --> 00:29:36,203
"Wolverine senses danger and claws
come out of his hands. Snikt!"

435
00:29:36,203 --> 00:29:39,843
She said, "This is ridiculous.
You're at the Royal National Theatre
in London,

436
00:29:39,843 --> 00:29:41,723
"and now you're
going to have claws."

437
00:29:41,723 --> 00:29:43,963
She chucked it down and says,
"You're on your own!"

438
00:29:43,963 --> 00:29:46,923
The only time she's ever
been wrong in 18 years.

439
00:29:46,923 --> 00:29:50,483
And she doesn't watch this show,
so I'm all good in saying that.

440
00:29:50,483 --> 00:29:54,803
So, Wolverine, new movie out. Yeah.
Tell us about it.

441
00:29:54,803 --> 00:29:58,323
So the movie takes place, for X-Men
fans, it's straight after X-Men 3,

442
00:29:58,323 --> 00:30:01,523
Wolverine is literally at the bottom
of his life.

443
00:30:01,523 --> 00:30:04,123
He's almost made a vow
not to be Wolverine,

444
00:30:04,123 --> 00:30:07,803
cos everywhere he goes,
the people he loves die,

445
00:30:07,803 --> 00:30:11,163
it's filled with pain and regret,
destruction,

446
00:30:11,163 --> 00:30:14,923
so everything that makes him great
also brings his sadness and loss.

447
00:30:14,923 --> 00:30:17,883
That's where you find him.
He then gets brought to Japan.

448
00:30:17,883 --> 00:30:20,883
This is based on one of the great
comic books ever written,

449
00:30:20,883 --> 00:30:23,363
this Japanese saga,
or the samurai story.

450
00:30:23,363 --> 00:30:28,883
And in he goes, and of course, he
has to look inside himself to find

451
00:30:28,883 --> 00:30:30,963
the inner person
and choose what he wants to be.

452
00:30:30,963 --> 00:30:32,443
Needless to say, we have a clip,

453
00:30:32,443 --> 00:30:34,563
we'd like to show that now
if we may. Fantastic.

454
00:30:36,163 --> 00:30:38,923
My employer wants to thank you
for saving his life.

455
00:30:38,923 --> 00:30:40,243
I wanted to repay you, Logan.

456
00:30:41,323 --> 00:30:42,723
I can end your eternity.

457
00:30:43,923 --> 00:30:44,803
Make you mortal.

458
00:30:51,323 --> 00:30:52,523
I'm not healing like before.

459
00:30:56,443 --> 00:30:58,323
Is that all the men you brought?

460
00:30:59,403 --> 00:31:01,883
Your grandfather called me a ronin -

461
00:31:01,883 --> 00:31:03,443
a samurai without a master...

462
00:31:05,003 --> 00:31:06,363
..who has no reason to live.

463
00:31:12,003 --> 00:31:13,163
Was he right?

464
00:31:17,403 --> 00:31:18,843
There it is.

465
00:31:20,043 --> 00:31:22,403
Saw it the other night.

466
00:31:22,557 --> 00:31:23,957
Thank you.

467
00:31:25,797 --> 00:31:27,837
One of the things I noticed
in the new film is

468
00:31:27,837 --> 00:31:30,517
the hair is a lot less extravagant
than it has been in the past.

469
00:31:30,517 --> 00:31:33,277
Yeah, environmental groups
really had a go at us

470
00:31:33,277 --> 00:31:35,677
for the amount of hairspray
we were using.

471
00:31:35,677 --> 00:31:38,557
That must have been the ozone layer
right there, gone, really.

472
00:31:38,557 --> 00:31:42,357
Completely. So we've quit that,
we've moved on.

473
00:31:42,357 --> 00:31:44,477
So, you were filming
a lot of that in Japan.

474
00:31:44,477 --> 00:31:46,157
Yeah. Isn't that a great country?

475
00:31:47,237 --> 00:31:49,517
I love Japan.
I've been there maybe 11 times.

476
00:31:49,517 --> 00:31:52,757
I love the customs, their attention
to detail, the food...

477
00:31:52,757 --> 00:31:54,477
The cab drivers wear gloves.

478
00:31:54,477 --> 00:31:57,277
Everything is polite
and everything's...

479
00:31:57,277 --> 00:32:00,597
But I did make a few faux pas.
In Japan? Yeah.

480
00:32:00,597 --> 00:32:03,517
The worst one was the onsens.

481
00:32:03,517 --> 00:32:07,037
Did you go to the onsens,
the bathhouses that they have?

482
00:32:07,037 --> 00:32:10,477
I know exactly what you mean.
No, my penis is too small.

483
00:32:16,797 --> 00:32:19,157
Right. You know what I mean?

484
00:32:19,157 --> 00:32:20,277
No!

485
00:32:26,877 --> 00:32:27,997
There we go!

486
00:32:33,277 --> 00:32:36,397
So anyway, for those who haven't
been, they're natural springs,

487
00:32:36,397 --> 00:32:38,157
and they're hot
and they're incredible,

488
00:32:38,157 --> 00:32:39,517
and it's part of the culture.

489
00:32:39,517 --> 00:32:42,597
It's a whole rigmarole, you have
to put everything in the locker,

490
00:32:42,597 --> 00:32:44,717
you have to put on a robe,
you put on slippers,

491
00:32:44,717 --> 00:32:46,117
and then when you go in, nothing.

492
00:32:46,117 --> 00:32:49,357
They give you a little towel,
almost like a flannel sort of thing,

493
00:32:49,357 --> 00:32:50,837
and that's it, you walk in, hot.

494
00:32:50,837 --> 00:32:53,557
Hot as hell, everyone's walking
around, walking around naked,

495
00:32:53,557 --> 00:32:55,477
you're there for about an hour.

496
00:32:55,477 --> 00:32:58,197
And they have one little cold pool
to cool yourself down,

497
00:32:58,197 --> 00:32:59,597
cos everything's super hot.

498
00:32:59,597 --> 00:33:03,117
So, I'm dipping it in the cold pool
and I'm putting it on my head,

499
00:33:03,117 --> 00:33:04,837
to cool myself down.

500
00:33:04,837 --> 00:33:06,037
And I'm sitting like this

501
00:33:06,037 --> 00:33:08,957
and I'm getting the weirdest looks
from all the guys, and I thought,

502
00:33:08,957 --> 00:33:11,197
"This is really weird, I don't know
what's going on."

503
00:33:11,197 --> 00:33:12,357
And then finally, one guy,

504
00:33:12,357 --> 00:33:14,517
he was sitting in the tub like this
and he goes...

505
00:33:19,957 --> 00:33:21,877
I was like, "No, mate,
not my thing."

506
00:33:24,197 --> 00:33:28,037
I went, "Oh, really...? Oh, right!
The flannel was for that, right!"

507
00:33:30,317 --> 00:33:33,637
I'd just been waltzing around,
"Woo, hey!

508
00:33:33,637 --> 00:33:34,997
"How you doing? How you doing?!"

509
00:33:37,237 --> 00:33:40,197
I was avoiding getting on to cars,
cos I'd looked into your history

510
00:33:40,197 --> 00:33:41,837
and it's not... Not as a child,
anyway,

511
00:33:41,837 --> 00:33:43,957
cos you seem to have spent most of
your childhood

512
00:33:43,957 --> 00:33:46,317
being driven around Australia
in the back of a Volvo.

513
00:33:46,317 --> 00:33:47,837
I remember my dad getting a Volvo,

514
00:33:47,837 --> 00:33:51,237
literally because he's an accountant
and he'd heard it's the safest car.

515
00:33:51,237 --> 00:33:54,837
They had those little seats in the
back that would fold up backwards,

516
00:33:54,837 --> 00:33:59,077
and I basically spent my entire
childhood giving the finger

517
00:33:59,077 --> 00:34:01,997
to cars behind me
and almost throwing up,

518
00:34:01,997 --> 00:34:05,117
because it was the week-old cooler
filled with the food,

519
00:34:05,117 --> 00:34:07,837
because my dad was really tight,
so he would pack food for a week

520
00:34:07,837 --> 00:34:10,477
and we'd have it in the back of
the car in temperatures like this,

521
00:34:10,477 --> 00:34:11,997
and I'd have my feet on it,

522
00:34:11,997 --> 00:34:14,917
so I'm smelling like bad liverwurst
and things like that.

523
00:34:14,917 --> 00:34:18,757
Have your kids ever gone through
the car-sickness phase?

524
00:34:18,757 --> 00:34:20,557
My daughter gets it
a little bit, yeah.

525
00:34:20,557 --> 00:34:23,477
I just think, you know when a car
manufacturer quotes the ability

526
00:34:23,477 --> 00:34:25,477
of a car to stop from
100 miles an hour,

527
00:34:25,477 --> 00:34:27,477
100 kilometres an hour,
down to zero?

528
00:34:27,477 --> 00:34:30,717
You can always beat it when a child
goes, "I'm feeling a bit sick."

529
00:34:32,317 --> 00:34:36,357
Because when a child is sick in a
car, the car has to be written off.

530
00:34:36,357 --> 00:34:38,397
Yes, replaced immediately!

531
00:34:38,397 --> 00:34:41,197
There is no chance! Absolutely!

532
00:34:41,197 --> 00:34:43,197
So, obviously, you came here today,

533
00:34:43,197 --> 00:34:45,717
temperatures very similar
to Australia. Right.

534
00:34:45,717 --> 00:34:48,317
I mean, properly hot. There is
a bit of a problem, I think,

535
00:34:48,317 --> 00:34:49,957
with our new reasonably priced car,

536
00:34:49,957 --> 00:34:52,877
because it is much faster with
the air conditioning off. Yeah.

537
00:34:52,877 --> 00:34:54,437
Apparently, you did turn it off.

538
00:34:54,437 --> 00:34:57,277
Yeah.
Because I was hoping for any edge.

539
00:34:57,277 --> 00:34:59,517
My driving ability is so bad. Is it?

540
00:34:59,517 --> 00:35:02,197
My assistant is here,
who I've known for 20 years.

541
00:35:02,197 --> 00:35:05,677
He's a mad fan of this show. He's
pissed off with me that I'm here.

542
00:35:05,677 --> 00:35:07,477
He says, "You don't deserve it.

543
00:35:07,477 --> 00:35:09,717
"I've put in the effort,
I've watched every episode,

544
00:35:09,717 --> 00:35:12,277
"I love this show, and look at you,
you do a couple of movies,

545
00:35:12,277 --> 00:35:15,637
"you pretend to be someone else and
you're driving the car with Stig!"

546
00:35:15,637 --> 00:35:18,557
Anyway, you went out there,
air conditioning off... Yeah.

547
00:35:18,557 --> 00:35:20,877
..for your hot lap. Yeah.
Anyone want to see it?

548
00:35:20,877 --> 00:35:21,957
Yes!

549
00:35:21,957 --> 00:35:23,077
Let's play the tape.

550
00:35:28,917 --> 00:35:31,957
Yeah, I feel the need for speed!

551
00:35:31,957 --> 00:35:34,197
6,000, here we go.

552
00:35:34,197 --> 00:35:36,197
This is looking, actually,
like you're on it,

553
00:35:36,197 --> 00:35:38,597
like you really care about
whether you're going to...

554
00:35:38,597 --> 00:35:40,677
Ooh, I say,
that's good grip through there.

555
00:35:40,677 --> 00:35:45,517
Aggressive turning. I literally look
very low in the car.

556
00:35:45,517 --> 00:35:48,837
It's a low seat. Yes! I didn't think
I was going to feel competitive.

557
00:35:48,837 --> 00:35:50,317
My God, am I feeling competitive!

558
00:35:50,317 --> 00:35:52,597
Brake a little earlier,
remember what Stig said.

559
00:35:52,597 --> 00:35:54,757
I can see, the way you're driving,

560
00:35:54,757 --> 00:35:57,317
that this is a man who
wants that thing to...

561
00:35:57,317 --> 00:35:58,877
Oh-ho-ho! Yeah!

562
00:35:58,877 --> 00:36:01,317
Come on, Jackman!

563
00:36:01,317 --> 00:36:03,237
6,000, that's good.

564
00:36:03,237 --> 00:36:05,877
All right, this is my Achilles heel,
this corner.

565
00:36:05,877 --> 00:36:08,557
Yeah, it's everybody's
Achilles heel.

566
00:36:08,557 --> 00:36:11,637
They mostly go off at
the second to last corner.

567
00:36:11,637 --> 00:36:13,597
Hugh, this is not bad at all.

568
00:36:13,597 --> 00:36:15,437
Isn't it? No.

569
00:36:15,437 --> 00:36:16,957
I'm actually deeply impressed.

570
00:36:16,957 --> 00:36:20,317
You're using more of the track
than Benedict did last week.

571
00:36:20,317 --> 00:36:23,877
OK. Don't be a pussy.

572
00:36:23,877 --> 00:36:25,477
Stay on it. Just stay.

573
00:36:25,477 --> 00:36:27,757
Oh, can't believe
I'm staying on there.

574
00:36:27,757 --> 00:36:30,677
Full accelerator. Yeah, Stig!
You'd be proud of me!

575
00:36:32,397 --> 00:36:35,077
It does take guts to do that.

576
00:36:35,077 --> 00:36:37,637
Keep your foot hard in it.
And close to the tyres?

577
00:36:37,637 --> 00:36:40,117
Whoa, yes! Close to those tyres!

578
00:36:40,117 --> 00:36:41,637
Smell the rubber!

579
00:36:41,637 --> 00:36:44,917
Right, now, let's see if
you clip this nicely...

580
00:36:44,917 --> 00:36:46,877
Yes, that is very good.

581
00:36:46,877 --> 00:36:49,917
Oh! Nearly off there,
but held it nicely.

582
00:36:49,917 --> 00:36:52,317
Gambon, that's nicely done,
as well.

583
00:36:52,317 --> 00:36:53,557
Across the line!

584
00:36:53,557 --> 00:36:55,077
Oh!

585
00:37:00,037 --> 00:37:01,157
So...

586
00:37:03,477 --> 00:37:05,797
I have your time here. Oh, OK.

587
00:37:05,797 --> 00:37:07,517
Where do you think you came?

588
00:37:07,517 --> 00:37:10,117
I'm thinking...

589
00:37:10,117 --> 00:37:11,557
Oh, Charles Dance.

590
00:37:11,557 --> 00:37:14,037
Either just above
or just below Charles.

591
00:37:14,037 --> 00:37:17,157
Just above or just below.
But you're in the 1.48s, you think?

592
00:37:17,157 --> 00:37:18,557
Yeah. Okey-doke.

593
00:37:18,557 --> 00:37:21,117
well, you did it in 1...

594
00:37:21,117 --> 00:37:22,757
40...

595
00:37:24,437 --> 00:37:25,877
..6...

596
00:37:25,877 --> 00:37:26,917
Oooh!

597
00:37:26,917 --> 00:37:29,757
..1. So, you're now
our third fastest! Wow!

598
00:37:33,597 --> 00:37:34,877
Mate!

599
00:37:37,037 --> 00:37:38,317
Where's Irving?

600
00:37:38,317 --> 00:37:39,797
Singing, dancing...

601
00:37:39,797 --> 00:37:40,957
Irving!

602
00:37:40,957 --> 00:37:42,397
Looking for your mate?

603
00:37:42,397 --> 00:37:45,317
Where's Irving? Irving?
Where are you, Irving?

604
00:37:45,317 --> 00:37:47,317
Irving, come out.
He's going to hate this.

605
00:37:47,317 --> 00:37:48,557
He said, "You were crap."

606
00:37:49,757 --> 00:37:52,317
He said, "You're pathetic.
You've embarrassed me."

607
00:37:52,317 --> 00:37:54,357
Irving, where are you?
Come on, mate.

608
00:37:54,357 --> 00:37:55,757
Third. I'm impressed. Yeah!

609
00:37:56,957 --> 00:37:58,557
I'm impressed. Thank you!

610
00:37:58,557 --> 00:38:01,117
We are all impressed.
That's on tape!

611
00:38:01,117 --> 00:38:03,397
It's on tape!

612
00:38:03,397 --> 00:38:05,757
Ladies and gentlemen, Hugh Jackman!

613
00:38:05,757 --> 00:38:07,197
Thank you.

614
00:38:16,157 --> 00:38:19,397
Now, earlier on,
we built a hovervan,

615
00:38:19,397 --> 00:38:20,837
which sank.

616
00:38:20,837 --> 00:38:23,077
Yeah, it worked
perfectly well as a van,

617
00:38:23,077 --> 00:38:25,237
it just didn't really
work as a hovercraft.

618
00:38:25,237 --> 00:38:27,637
But no matter, because
we've had another go,

619
00:38:27,637 --> 00:38:30,597
ladies and gentlemen,
and here it is!

620
00:38:34,037 --> 00:38:36,037
Now, in the back

621
00:38:36,037 --> 00:38:39,317
I have replaced the two 90 horsepower
engines with these.

622
00:38:39,317 --> 00:38:44,157
For the lift, we have the engine
from a Yamaha R1 Superbike.

623
00:38:44,157 --> 00:38:46,357
And for the thrust, a compact,

624
00:38:46,357 --> 00:38:49,757
lightweight 2.4 litre V8
from a Radical track car.

625
00:38:49,757 --> 00:38:53,477
All of which means,
in the back of this van,

626
00:38:53,477 --> 00:38:56,717
there is now 600 horsepower.

627
00:38:56,717 --> 00:38:58,157
Oooh!

628
00:38:58,157 --> 00:39:00,557
Oh, yes. I, meanwhile,
have been fitting

629
00:39:00,557 --> 00:39:02,397
these new, bigger, tougher skirts,

630
00:39:02,397 --> 00:39:07,117
which you just lower
in a jiffy, like so.

631
00:39:07,117 --> 00:39:09,477
And I've also added,
on top of those,

632
00:39:09,477 --> 00:39:13,957
these inflatable rubber tubes,
which make it a bit less sinky.

633
00:39:21,637 --> 00:39:26,037
We're so confident that the
mark II hovervan will work

634
00:39:26,037 --> 00:39:29,117
that we shall be testing
it in our home clothes,

635
00:39:29,117 --> 00:39:30,837
but not on a reservoir.

636
00:39:30,837 --> 00:39:33,437
Instead, we shall be
testing it here

637
00:39:33,437 --> 00:39:36,277
on the mighty Avon.

638
00:39:38,157 --> 00:39:41,117
With overhanging branches,
submerged shopping trolleys

639
00:39:41,117 --> 00:39:42,597
and many obstacles,

640
00:39:42,597 --> 00:39:46,197
the Avon more realistically
represents a flooded street.

641
00:39:47,317 --> 00:39:49,757
If our van works here, it will work

642
00:39:49,757 --> 00:39:52,317
in your town when the torrent comes.

643
00:39:53,637 --> 00:39:56,997
Right, listen. I'm going to drive.

644
00:39:56,997 --> 00:40:00,037
Hammond, you're in charge
of the engine room. Right.

645
00:40:00,037 --> 00:40:01,957
And James, you're the navigator.

646
00:40:03,237 --> 00:40:08,517
'Brimming with confidence,
we initiated the launch procedure.'

647
00:40:08,517 --> 00:40:10,437
Fire up the lift engine!

648
00:40:10,437 --> 00:40:12,437
Aye aye, Clarkson.

649
00:40:17,637 --> 00:40:19,877
Fire up the thrust engine.

650
00:40:19,877 --> 00:40:22,117
I love all the things
we have to say.

651
00:40:22,117 --> 00:40:24,997
I know. Here it comes.
I'll give it a bit of a juice.

652
00:40:30,677 --> 00:40:32,637
You have it. You have thrust.

653
00:40:36,837 --> 00:40:39,797
And we're moving! We are going!
We're going right!

654
00:40:39,797 --> 00:40:42,597
We're going sideways! Go to port!

655
00:40:42,597 --> 00:40:45,277
Here we go! 600 horsepower.

656
00:40:45,277 --> 00:40:47,237
Unleash it! Here we go. Oh, my God!

657
00:40:48,957 --> 00:40:52,357
I'm engaging thrust. It works!

658
00:40:52,357 --> 00:40:54,157
It only flipping works!

659
00:40:54,157 --> 00:40:55,317
We're float... Oh, BLEEP!

660
00:40:55,317 --> 00:40:57,557
I'm drowning! There is quite
a lot of water coming in.

661
00:40:57,557 --> 00:40:59,437
I'm turning it! Windscreen wipers!

662
00:40:59,437 --> 00:41:01,397
Turn it more, we're going
to hit the bank!

663
00:41:01,397 --> 00:41:04,237
Hard to starboard!
Jeremy, turn right!

664
00:41:04,237 --> 00:41:06,517
I don't... You can't do that!

665
00:41:06,517 --> 00:41:08,637
Of course it can! We've crashed!

666
00:41:11,037 --> 00:41:12,877
We're a bit stuck.

667
00:41:12,877 --> 00:41:15,197
This is the sort of practice
you should have been doing

668
00:41:15,197 --> 00:41:17,917
while we were busy fitting engines
and building this thing.

669
00:41:17,917 --> 00:41:21,197
'In my defence, hovercrafts
have no brakes, no reverse,

670
00:41:21,197 --> 00:41:24,197
'extremely haphazard steering and,

671
00:41:24,197 --> 00:41:26,357
'if you cut the lift engine,

672
00:41:26,357 --> 00:41:28,677
'it can't be restarted on water.'

673
00:41:28,677 --> 00:41:30,837
You're heading for
the other bank now?

674
00:41:30,837 --> 00:41:32,597
I'm coming back on the power.

675
00:41:32,597 --> 00:41:34,397
Here comes the bank! No brakes!

676
00:41:34,397 --> 00:41:36,197
Aaaargh! Crash!

677
00:41:36,197 --> 00:41:38,037
Boy, steer that way!

678
00:41:39,557 --> 00:41:41,637
This river's too narrow.

679
00:41:41,637 --> 00:41:43,357
Well, it's river-shaped.

680
00:41:43,357 --> 00:41:45,037
They tend to be long and thin.

681
00:41:45,037 --> 00:41:47,917
Here we go! I'm going to give
it full speed to return.

682
00:41:47,917 --> 00:41:51,317
Too much! Too much!
Oh, things are working. Steer it!

683
00:41:51,317 --> 00:41:54,757
James, I am one of the world's
best hovercraft drivers.

684
00:41:54,757 --> 00:41:57,117
Oh, I can see that. Is that
why we're in a nettle bush?

685
00:41:57,117 --> 00:41:58,637
Oh, yes.

686
00:41:58,637 --> 00:42:01,357
Ah-ha! What do you think of that?

687
00:42:03,277 --> 00:42:04,917
There's a man fishing.

688
00:42:04,917 --> 00:42:08,797
I'm sorry. Sorry. It's all... Sorry.

689
00:42:08,797 --> 00:42:11,757
Tree! Tree! Tree! Tree! Tree! Tree!

690
00:42:11,757 --> 00:42:13,397
Oh, huge tree!

691
00:42:14,637 --> 00:42:15,877
No brakes!

692
00:42:15,877 --> 00:42:18,437
Relax! What are you worried about?

693
00:42:18,437 --> 00:42:21,197
We're in the tree!
The tree's coming in the...

694
00:42:21,197 --> 00:42:22,637
How can that be in the van?

695
00:42:23,997 --> 00:42:25,277
Ow! Crash!

696
00:42:28,197 --> 00:42:29,517
Oh, no, we broke the window!

697
00:42:29,517 --> 00:42:32,157
We've actually broken
the windscreen!

698
00:42:32,157 --> 00:42:35,877
Yes, you have. You've made
a complete horse's arse of that.

699
00:42:35,877 --> 00:42:39,197
We can edit this out.
Nobody needs know this has happened.

700
00:42:39,197 --> 00:42:41,157
Is there a boathook, James? Yes.

701
00:42:41,157 --> 00:42:43,837
Push us off. I'll come over.

702
00:42:43,837 --> 00:42:44,997
You keep an eye on that.

703
00:42:44,997 --> 00:42:46,757
Don't let it go over eight. Eight?

704
00:42:46,757 --> 00:42:48,077
Mind your elbow!

705
00:42:48,077 --> 00:42:50,557
Your elbow nearly killed the lift.

706
00:42:50,557 --> 00:42:51,877
Push!

707
00:42:53,357 --> 00:42:56,357
That's more like it. That's it.

708
00:42:56,357 --> 00:42:58,277
There you go. Go, go, go, go!

709
00:42:58,277 --> 00:43:02,037
Wipers, James! Wipers!

710
00:43:02,037 --> 00:43:03,677
They're broken.

711
00:43:03,677 --> 00:43:05,397
Richard? Yes?

712
00:43:05,397 --> 00:43:07,477
I think I've got the hang
of it now. Brilliant.

713
00:43:07,477 --> 00:43:10,477
Let's go and refuel. Go and what?

714
00:43:10,477 --> 00:43:12,757
We've got to stop for fuel.
We're running out.

715
00:43:12,757 --> 00:43:14,477
We've only been going ten minutes!

716
00:43:14,477 --> 00:43:16,717
Well, yeah, I know.
But we've used it all...

717
00:43:16,717 --> 00:43:19,357
There's 600 horsepower back there!
It needs a lot of fuel.

718
00:43:19,357 --> 00:43:21,357
How big's the tank? Two gallons.

719
00:43:21,357 --> 00:43:23,077
Two? Yeah!

720
00:43:24,517 --> 00:43:28,037
'On that bombshell,
we headed back to the bank.'

721
00:43:28,037 --> 00:43:31,117
Hammond, get ready to kill
those engines and James,

722
00:43:31,117 --> 00:43:33,077
get ready to start up the other one.

723
00:43:33,077 --> 00:43:34,917
Hammond, kill the engines now!

724
00:43:34,917 --> 00:43:36,917
Kill! Killed.

725
00:43:36,917 --> 00:43:39,997
Road engine's not starting. What?

726
00:43:39,997 --> 00:43:41,437
Why is the starter not working?

727
00:43:41,437 --> 00:43:43,757
Because it's wet.
Why didn't you waterproof it?!

728
00:43:43,757 --> 00:43:46,597
I didn't anticipate...
Why are we still shouting?!

729
00:43:48,197 --> 00:43:51,757
'Fortunately, getting it out
of the water was no bother at all.'

730
00:43:58,637 --> 00:44:03,597
'But, as we were refuelling,
we received an unpleasant surprise.'

731
00:44:04,917 --> 00:44:07,357
Hammond? What?

732
00:44:07,357 --> 00:44:10,117
It's the gold envelope. What?

733
00:44:10,117 --> 00:44:12,597
I wasn't expect...

734
00:44:12,597 --> 00:44:16,757
"You will drive your hover van
from here in Stratford-upon-Avon

735
00:44:16,757 --> 00:44:20,437
"to Tewkesbury, one of the most
frequently flooded towns in the UK.

736
00:44:20,437 --> 00:44:23,997
"Once there, you will show off your
invention to the local residents."

737
00:44:23,997 --> 00:44:26,317
How far is that?

738
00:44:26,317 --> 00:44:30,397
Got to be 50 miles. 50?
How far have we just done?

739
00:44:30,397 --> 00:44:33,317
50 yards?
It's a lot of refuelling.

740
00:44:33,317 --> 00:44:35,477
Er...right.

741
00:44:38,917 --> 00:44:40,077
'Having saddled up...'

742
00:44:40,077 --> 00:44:41,997
I feel like Daisy Duke.

743
00:44:41,997 --> 00:44:44,997
'..we set off for Tewkesbury.'

744
00:44:44,997 --> 00:44:46,357
Engaging power.

745
00:44:46,357 --> 00:44:47,837
A full left turn.

746
00:44:50,677 --> 00:44:54,077
Oh, are we good or what?

747
00:44:54,077 --> 00:44:55,397
Excellent work.

748
00:44:55,397 --> 00:44:58,757
Continue as you are,
Captain Clarkson.

749
00:44:58,757 --> 00:45:00,837
Feels good every time!
I love this!

750
00:45:00,837 --> 00:45:02,877
This is a great machine.

751
00:45:02,877 --> 00:45:05,277
Brilliant machine.
I mean, it really is.

752
00:45:05,277 --> 00:45:08,837
'With everything going well,
we settled down for what

753
00:45:08,837 --> 00:45:12,837
'we hoped would be
an uneventful maiden voyage.'

754
00:45:22,197 --> 00:45:25,317
'But, as we arrived
in the tranquil suburbs

755
00:45:25,317 --> 00:45:27,837
'of historical Stratford-upon-Avon,

756
00:45:27,837 --> 00:45:31,597
'we became conscious that there
was an issue with noise.'

757
00:45:37,477 --> 00:45:39,917
'And then, there was the spray.'

758
00:45:41,077 --> 00:45:42,797
Then to the left.

759
00:45:42,797 --> 00:45:47,117
Sorry, everybody! I do apologise!

760
00:45:47,117 --> 00:45:49,637
I'm so sorry! Sorry!

761
00:45:50,757 --> 00:45:52,997
How far have we come so far?

762
00:45:52,997 --> 00:45:57,197
300 yards. Excellent. How long
has it taken? About 20 minutes.

763
00:46:03,477 --> 00:46:06,437
'Eventually, we arrived
in the centre of Stratford,

764
00:46:06,437 --> 00:46:09,037
'and encountered
our first obstacle.'

765
00:46:13,077 --> 00:46:14,717
Now, the bridge...

766
00:46:14,717 --> 00:46:18,197
You need to know that the bridge
is from 1480. Yep.

767
00:46:18,197 --> 00:46:22,037
Grade I listed, so don't break it.
Here we go.

768
00:46:22,037 --> 00:46:27,157
Wipers! It's actually working. No,
it's not. You are going to hit it.

769
00:46:28,477 --> 00:46:31,197
We've crashed. The priceless bridge.
You're almost there.

770
00:46:31,197 --> 00:46:33,037
I'm bloody drenched, you idiot.

771
00:46:34,157 --> 00:46:36,437
'Having made a bit of a mess
of that bridge,

772
00:46:36,437 --> 00:46:40,037
'I came up with a cunning plan
for the next one.'

773
00:46:40,037 --> 00:46:43,957
I'm aiming for the "no entry"
on the basis that the hovercraft...

774
00:46:43,957 --> 00:46:49,117
That's the last place you'll go.
If you aim for something,
you'll not go there.

775
00:46:49,117 --> 00:46:52,317
'Unfortunately,
my plan didn't work.'

776
00:46:52,317 --> 00:46:56,277
It's gone where I aimed it.
Yes, but is it going to clear it?

777
00:46:56,277 --> 00:46:59,397
Oh, my God.
It's getting a bit scrapey...

778
00:47:06,357 --> 00:47:10,317
That's amazing. We did a thing!
We did a thing!

779
00:47:10,317 --> 00:47:12,037
Oh, God, rowers.

780
00:47:14,677 --> 00:47:17,797
Concentrate. Left, left, left.

781
00:47:17,797 --> 00:47:21,677
James, there's a man in a boat.
There's a man in a boat.

782
00:47:21,677 --> 00:47:25,157
You've got to miss him. That's
the RSC! There's a man in a boat.

783
00:47:25,157 --> 00:47:27,477
Miss him. Left, left.

784
00:47:27,477 --> 00:47:29,757
Oh, my God.

785
00:47:29,757 --> 00:47:32,277
Oh, my God. Where is he?

786
00:47:32,277 --> 00:47:37,917
He's here. He's here. I'm really
sorry. Sorry. Sorry, mate.

787
00:47:40,037 --> 00:47:42,117
We're probably not that welcome here.

788
00:47:43,597 --> 00:47:46,877
'We therefore decided it would
be best to get out of town.

789
00:47:50,077 --> 00:47:54,077
'But, in our haste,
we became tangled in the wash
from the camera boat.'

790
00:47:54,077 --> 00:47:58,557
This is not good.
We've lost all steering.
We are in deep BLEEP here.

791
00:47:58,557 --> 00:48:01,197
Brace, brace, brace.

792
00:48:01,197 --> 00:48:05,837
Brace, brace, brace. Hold tight.
Hold tight. Kill, kill, kill.

793
00:48:08,917 --> 00:48:10,197
What happened?

794
00:48:10,197 --> 00:48:14,397
The thing with hovercrafting
is it's brilliant, brilliant,
brilliant, disaster. Yeah.

795
00:48:17,397 --> 00:48:20,597
'Having apologised to the owners
of the boats we'd hit,

796
00:48:20,597 --> 00:48:23,037
'and the man who'd fallen in...'

797
00:48:23,037 --> 00:48:25,677
James May, consult the map.
Which way?

798
00:48:25,677 --> 00:48:29,397
To the left. '..we refuelled
and were soon on the move again.

799
00:48:30,717 --> 00:48:34,717
'And in the next village,
we decided to stop for some lunch.'

800
00:48:34,717 --> 00:48:38,597
I see a rather nice
little restaurant here.

801
00:48:38,597 --> 00:48:40,797
Yes, check this out.

802
00:48:40,797 --> 00:48:43,397
Private mooring for use by
restaurant customers only.

803
00:48:43,397 --> 00:48:47,637
Well, we're restaurant customers,
so we can. We're coming for lunch!

804
00:48:47,637 --> 00:48:53,077
'At this point, we discovered that
Jeremy hadn't learned how to park.'

805
00:48:53,077 --> 00:48:53,917
There we go.

806
00:48:55,837 --> 00:48:56,837
Oh, God, hang on.

807
00:49:01,917 --> 00:49:02,997
I've missed again.

808
00:49:07,037 --> 00:49:09,757
I think you've overdone it.
Where are you going to park?

809
00:49:09,757 --> 00:49:14,357
Why can't you just park it,
for God's sake? Sorry, sorry.

810
00:49:14,357 --> 00:49:16,917
Sorry, everybody. Sorry.
I'm not hungry.

811
00:49:16,917 --> 00:49:19,437
Why don't we just make a sign
that says "sorry"?

812
00:49:22,557 --> 00:49:24,957
'We decided to abandon lunch
at this point

813
00:49:24,957 --> 00:49:26,077
'and instead...

814
00:49:26,077 --> 00:49:31,677
'see how fast a hovervan
could run away.'

815
00:49:31,677 --> 00:49:37,077
OK, Hammond, give me read out
on the thrust. 7,500. 8,000.

816
00:49:39,037 --> 00:49:42,197
We are seriously moving now,
gentlemen.

817
00:49:43,717 --> 00:49:45,717
James, how fast are we going?

818
00:49:45,717 --> 00:49:48,357
I can work it out
with this piece of knotted rope

819
00:49:48,357 --> 00:49:51,757
like they did on HMS victory.
Go for it.

820
00:49:51,757 --> 00:49:54,637
This is looking good now.
We are in the cruise.

821
00:49:56,997 --> 00:49:59,677
Right, hang on, hang on. 20 in...

822
00:49:59,677 --> 00:50:05,877
We're doing 120 knots in an hour
which is 138 miles an hour.

823
00:50:05,877 --> 00:50:08,997
138. We are shifting now.

824
00:50:10,717 --> 00:50:15,397
'And the great thing is, of course,
hovervans cause no wash

825
00:50:15,397 --> 00:50:17,757
'so don't damage the wildlife
or the banks.'

826
00:50:19,397 --> 00:50:21,637
We're like a breeze.
Just a little gust.

827
00:50:22,797 --> 00:50:26,557
Oh, no, we're stopping. What's
happened? You've dropped the...

828
00:50:26,557 --> 00:50:28,597
We're sinking. We've gone down.

829
00:50:31,397 --> 00:50:33,117
That was, something went wrong.

830
00:50:33,117 --> 00:50:36,397
I think the skirt collapsed
at the front.

831
00:50:36,397 --> 00:50:40,157
'This meant we had to initiate
our emergency crash procedure.'

832
00:50:40,157 --> 00:50:45,717
Do you know what I think
this calls for, gentlemen?
A hit of oxygen. Oh, yes.

833
00:50:45,717 --> 00:50:48,157
A good idea.
Let's cheer ourselves up.

834
00:50:51,117 --> 00:50:53,397
Hey! Ah!

835
00:50:53,397 --> 00:50:56,117
Hang on a minute.
Why is yours so small?

836
00:50:59,437 --> 00:51:01,957
Why have they given you that one?

837
00:51:01,957 --> 00:51:05,677
They've given you
a sparkler canister from
a Watney's Party Seven.

838
00:51:05,677 --> 00:51:07,717
One more push,
and it will be out.

839
00:51:07,717 --> 00:51:10,437
Chaps, you do realise
what we've just done?

840
00:51:10,437 --> 00:51:12,757
We've exhausted the air supply.

841
00:51:12,757 --> 00:51:17,197
We've used all the oxygen for fun,
while sitting in a sinking van.

842
00:51:18,477 --> 00:51:22,677
This is Hovervan One
calling Avon rescue.

843
00:51:22,677 --> 00:51:26,357
Avon calling, Avon calling, help.

844
00:51:28,997 --> 00:51:32,117
'Happily, because we'd only covered
four of our 50 miles,

845
00:51:32,117 --> 00:51:33,997
'the crane didn't have far to come.

846
00:51:35,797 --> 00:51:37,517
'And after we'd fixed the skirt

847
00:51:37,517 --> 00:51:40,637
'and refuelled again,
we were back on the road.'

848
00:51:40,637 --> 00:51:46,997
Happy? Yep. All is going well
in the engine room. And relax.

849
00:51:49,437 --> 00:51:52,597
'Sadly, though,
the relaxing didn't last long.'

850
00:51:52,597 --> 00:51:55,357
Oh, God, there's a lock.
We've got to go through the lock.

851
00:51:55,357 --> 00:51:58,357
Can you go through locks in a...
Do they let hovercrafts in?

852
00:52:00,117 --> 00:52:02,717
'To make matters worse,
there was no lock keeper.'

853
00:52:04,357 --> 00:52:06,797
Do you two feel up to a lock?
I've never done one.

854
00:52:06,797 --> 00:52:08,397
Never done one in my life.

855
00:52:08,397 --> 00:52:11,557
You've got to get the water level,
but don't shilly-shally

856
00:52:11,557 --> 00:52:15,077
because I'm going to be
all by myself out here.

857
00:52:15,077 --> 00:52:19,117
'With Richard and James ashore...'
Go, go. Get off!

858
00:52:19,117 --> 00:52:21,877
'..I was a multitasking machine.'

859
00:52:21,877 --> 00:52:23,597
Oh, this is tricky.

860
00:52:23,597 --> 00:52:26,237
I'm having to drive
and do all the engine stuff.

861
00:52:26,237 --> 00:52:31,997
I am Mister Sulu, Scotty and Spock
all rolled into one here.

862
00:52:31,997 --> 00:52:36,717
Hang on, the water in the lock
has got to be the same level
as the boat.

863
00:52:36,717 --> 00:52:40,997
So we... So we have to go down
that end. No, no, no. Yes.

864
00:52:40,997 --> 00:52:44,877
No, really. I've got a two-gallon
fuel tank. Take your time!

865
00:52:44,877 --> 00:52:49,397
It's quite loud when
you're not on it, isn't it?

866
00:52:49,397 --> 00:52:52,237
People probably will have
to get used to the idea

867
00:52:52,237 --> 00:52:55,957
when people have hovervans that
canals are a little less tranquil

868
00:52:55,957 --> 00:53:00,597
than they have been historically.
It's a natural progression, really.

869
00:53:00,597 --> 00:53:06,277
You have the pony when canals first
began... Superhuman effort. Yes!

870
00:53:07,717 --> 00:53:10,917
..then internal combustion came
and boats got diesel engines.

871
00:53:10,917 --> 00:53:13,117
Now, this is the future.

872
00:53:14,637 --> 00:53:16,557
Here we go. Going in.

873
00:53:18,637 --> 00:53:20,557
Yes, bit of power.

874
00:53:20,557 --> 00:53:23,557
Power solves all things,
as we know.

875
00:53:26,517 --> 00:53:27,517
Yes!

876
00:53:29,997 --> 00:53:36,277
Right, if you wind, I'll push.
Ooohh! Look at this!

877
00:53:39,557 --> 00:53:41,997
Locking down. Are we locking
down, or... I don't know.

878
00:53:41,997 --> 00:53:44,597
We're locking down. Keep forward...
What the hell is that?

879
00:53:44,597 --> 00:53:48,117
The boat will go wherever it goes.
Close all the paddles. Yes.
What's a paddle?

880
00:53:48,117 --> 00:53:53,317
What are they doing? Honestly, my
dog would know how to work a lock.

881
00:53:53,317 --> 00:53:55,277
Look at them!

882
00:53:55,277 --> 00:54:00,717
Sorry. Going to have to do
the winding. It's down. What?

883
00:54:00,717 --> 00:54:06,357
It's down. Hammond, what are you
doing? What are YOU doing?

884
00:54:06,357 --> 00:54:10,637
Who's driving? Oh, BLEEP!

885
00:54:10,637 --> 00:54:13,597
I thought it would stay there.
Of course it won't!

886
00:54:13,597 --> 00:54:16,797
The hovercraft has run amok
in a lock.

887
00:54:16,797 --> 00:54:19,997
Get back on board!
Get in the hovercraft.

888
00:54:19,997 --> 00:54:22,157
'To try and capture
our errant hover van,

889
00:54:22,157 --> 00:54:24,757
'Hammond and I formed
a pincer movement.

890
00:54:25,917 --> 00:54:29,997
'But sadly, as I climbed on board,
the pincer movement
went a bit wrong.'

891
00:54:31,957 --> 00:54:33,157
Oh, no!

892
00:54:35,597 --> 00:54:36,597
Oh, no!

893
00:54:39,637 --> 00:54:41,077
I can't breathe!

894
00:54:47,797 --> 00:54:52,677
I can't breathe! I can't breathe!
Have you fallen in? No.

895
00:54:52,677 --> 00:54:56,717
I'm the wettest a human being
has ever been!

896
00:54:56,717 --> 00:54:59,477
Sitrep. We've...

897
00:54:59,477 --> 00:55:01,717
Ruined it. Well,
we've knocked a man out of his boat.

898
00:55:01,717 --> 00:55:05,957
Now we've jammed up the whole River
Avon. Now, here's what we must do.

899
00:55:05,957 --> 00:55:09,357
We must get it out of the lock
and then we will get a tow

900
00:55:09,357 --> 00:55:12,437
and then we can edit
all of this out.

901
00:55:14,197 --> 00:55:17,557
'Having done all of that,
we were back on the move...'

902
00:55:17,557 --> 00:55:21,437
James, which way is it here?
Keep right.

903
00:55:21,437 --> 00:55:26,637
'..and reflecting
on the many positives that had
come out of our journey so far.'

904
00:55:26,637 --> 00:55:29,757
We have had some calamities...
A couple.

905
00:55:29,757 --> 00:55:33,517
But they're not bad ones.
Not really. Weren't for us.

906
00:55:33,517 --> 00:55:37,117
Apart from the broken windscreen,

907
00:55:37,117 --> 00:55:42,557
the hover van is working
just as well as it ever has.

908
00:55:42,557 --> 00:55:44,077
Yes, it's expensive.

909
00:55:44,077 --> 00:55:46,637
I don't think we'd be able to sell
this for much less than

910
00:55:46,637 --> 00:55:48,797
a quarter of a million pounds.
Realistically, no.

911
00:55:48,797 --> 00:55:51,637
But... It's money well spent.

912
00:55:51,637 --> 00:55:56,517
..when you're up to here in
the sitting room and you
could have made your escape,

913
00:55:56,517 --> 00:56:00,557
you could have done
and you chose not to buy
one of these vans,

914
00:56:00,557 --> 00:56:02,677
that is, I think, the essence of it.

915
00:56:04,237 --> 00:56:07,877
Hang on a minute. What?
Hang on. What?

916
00:56:10,277 --> 00:56:13,877
Which way did you go back there?
You said right. I said left.

917
00:56:13,877 --> 00:56:17,837
No, you didn't, James.
You said right. Whoa... What's that?

918
00:56:17,837 --> 00:56:19,517
Is that a weir?

919
00:56:26,637 --> 00:56:29,517
Turn it round. Turning, turning.
Go the other way.

920
00:56:29,517 --> 00:56:34,757
Yamaha, give me every single rev
that Yamaha engine has got.

921
00:56:37,197 --> 00:56:41,517
Give it more. There is no more.
It's on the limit. There is no more.

922
00:56:41,517 --> 00:56:44,117
That's all there is.
We're being sucked.

923
00:56:46,197 --> 00:56:49,077
I'm going to turn it round.
Why are you turning right now?

924
00:56:49,077 --> 00:56:52,357
Do you want to go over backwards?
I don't want to go over it at all.

925
00:56:52,357 --> 00:56:56,397
He's right. Go over forwards.
It's better.

926
00:56:56,397 --> 00:56:57,837
Holy BLEEP! BLEEP!

927
00:56:57,837 --> 00:57:02,517
Hammond, I want every bit of lift
you can manage.

928
00:57:04,837 --> 00:57:07,197
I'm giving it everything it's got!
We're going over!

929
00:57:07,197 --> 00:57:09,797
We are going down! Oh, my God!

930
00:57:09,797 --> 00:57:14,197
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

931
00:57:17,357 --> 00:57:24,637
Yes! Oh, God, we're through!
It worked! It worked!

932
00:57:24,637 --> 00:57:27,437
We went down a weir!
And we're alive!

933
00:57:27,437 --> 00:57:30,197
What a machine! That's the best
thing I've ever survived!

934
00:57:30,197 --> 00:57:31,677
I knew that would be all right!

935
00:57:31,677 --> 00:57:35,717
Did you? I'm going to go back up.
Don't be bloody stupid.

936
00:57:35,717 --> 00:57:40,477
You couldn't turn it round up there,
it's not going to go back up.

937
00:57:40,477 --> 00:57:42,517
Yes, come on, hovervan.

938
00:57:42,517 --> 00:57:44,477
In the Shakespearean style,

939
00:57:44,477 --> 00:57:48,357
horsepower, horsepower,
my kingdom for some horsepower!

940
00:57:48,357 --> 00:57:51,677
It won't go up!
It will! It's not going to work!

941
00:57:51,677 --> 00:57:54,957
You can't give it
that many revs! Power!

942
00:58:00,957 --> 00:58:04,837
Power! Jeremy, that's too much...
Oh, my God! What's that smoke?

943
00:58:04,837 --> 00:58:07,037
You've ruined the engine!

944
00:58:07,037 --> 00:58:10,517
You've blown the engine up!
Come on! Power! You've killed it!

945
00:58:10,517 --> 00:58:13,197
Oh.

946
00:58:13,197 --> 00:58:15,357
You pillock!

947
00:58:21,837 --> 00:58:23,917
And with that, back to the studio.

948
00:58:31,437 --> 00:58:35,037
When Chuck Yeager
crashed that starfighter,

949
00:58:35,037 --> 00:58:36,437
nobody called him a pillock.

950
00:58:36,437 --> 00:58:39,797
No, but, it was because of you that
we didn't make it to Tewkesbury.

951
00:58:39,797 --> 00:58:43,637
It doesn't matter.
Everybody's seen the film now.

952
00:58:43,637 --> 00:58:46,237
They know that our hovervan
is as an unqualified success.

953
00:58:46,237 --> 00:58:51,877
Yes, yes, it is, apart from
the noise, the spray,
the terrible danger,

954
00:58:51,877 --> 00:58:55,797
impracticality, unreliability,
total uncontrollability,

955
00:58:55,797 --> 00:58:58,717
catastrophic fuel consumption,
terrible expense

956
00:58:58,717 --> 00:59:02,597
and disastrous damage we caused
to Warwickshire with it, yes.

957
00:59:02,597 --> 00:59:06,117
Yeah, apart from those
fundamental flaws,

958
00:59:06,117 --> 00:59:07,997
which render it completely useless,

959
00:59:07,997 --> 00:59:11,397
it is genuinely
a world-class machine.

960
00:59:11,397 --> 00:59:16,497
We have done something right. And
on that bombshell, it's time to end.

961
00:59:16,524 --> 00:59:19,384
Thank you so much for watching.
See you next week. Good night!

962
00:59:19,457 --> 00:59:36,453
<font color="#3399CC">Subtitles by </font><font color="ffffff">MemoryOnSmells</font>
<font color="#3399CC">http://UKsubtitles.ru.</font>