1
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Previously on In Treatment.

2
00:00:09,680 --> 00:00:11,636
I feel sorry for the books up there.

3
00:00:14,440 --> 00:00:17,034
I'm going back to training next week
for the Olympics

4
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and if you try to stop me
you will never see me again.

5
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Right, you'll go to your father's.

6
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Only, he's in Miami,
photographing supermodels

7
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and no one can get hold of him.

8
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He doesn't even know she was in hospital.

9
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Shut up!

10
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He hasn't even called her in over a month.

11
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Why didn't you tell me that your father
didn't know you tried to kill yourself?

12
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I have to go.

13
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What about our agreement?

14
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- Let's talk about it next week.
- No we won't.

15
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What about our agreement?

16
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I won't try and kill myself
as long as I'm in therapy.

17
00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:49,989
OK.

18
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- Yes?
- Afternoon.

19
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$12, please.

20
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- For what?
- Pizza.

21
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A pizza? I didn't order a pizza.

22
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Oh. Is there another entrance to the house?

23
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Yeah, but I'm sure
nobody ordered a pizza.

24
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OK, buddy. Just give me a second.

25
00:01:16,320 --> 00:01:19,835
Candy, can you check the street number
on the Robinson Street order?

26
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(Woman) Yeah, it's 848 Robinson.

27
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Yeah, but the john claims
he didn't order a pie.

28
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You know what? Let me take it.

29
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I think I know who it's for.

30
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Uh, he's gonna take the pie.

31
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(Woman) What do you mean?
Suddenly he did order it?

32
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- Ask him what's on it.
- You gotta tell me what's on it first.

33
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I can't just be handing over
another man's pizza.

34
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It's, uh...

35
00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:44,348
cheese?

36
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And...

37
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And, uh...

38
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And it's deep-dish?

39
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- Yeah, it's deep-dish, yeah.
- OK.

40
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- How much is that?
- It's 12.

41
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Thanks.

42
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- And... here you go.
- Oh, thank you.

43
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- For you.
- Thanks a lot. Take care. Bye.

44
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- Want some?
- (Laughs)

45
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No, I'm OK, thanks.

46
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I was on the bus and I realised
I hadn't had anything to eat.

47
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So I sent a text message
to Google from my phone,

48
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they sent me the number
of this place near you.

49
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- Google can do that?
- Google can do anything.

50
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(Laughs)

51
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Sure you don't want some?
I think this place is totally organic.

52
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No, no. Honestly, I'm sure.
I had lunch already.

53
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- How is it?
- It's all right.

54
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Not the best, but I have to eat.

55
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I need the calories.

56
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How was your week?

57
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Good, thanks.

58
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- So you're in a good mood?
- I think so.

59
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Do my moods worry you?

60
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You were a little grumpy last week.

61
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You sort of ate me alive.

62
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There were a couple of points
that I really wanted to make clear

63
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and if I came across
as impatient or, erm, or abrupt, I...

64
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I apologise.

65
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Apology accepted.

66
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Were you having a bad week?

67
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Yeah.

68
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And... maybe some of that
spilled over into this room.

69
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It happens sometimes. I wish it didn't.

70
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Relax, I can take it.

71
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- OK.
- Plus I like that side of you.

72
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- Which side?
- The no-bullshit side.

73
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Hm.

74
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What did you mean when you said,
"I need the calories"?

75
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I've lost some weight.

76
00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:01,879
When you go back into training
with weights and stuff,

77
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as you build up muscle,
you're supposed to gain weight

78
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because muscle weighs more than fat.

79
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Oh. Never knew that.

80
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When I'm not here, do you just
bury your head under a rock or something?

81
00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:15,068
So these pounds that I've put on,
they could be...

82
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they could be muscle really.

83
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- Do you go to the gym?
- Occasionally.

84
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You have to do it consistently
if you want to see results.

85
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Every day. Weights and cardio.

86
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No pain, no gain, guy.

87
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You're right.

88
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You can't see muscle if it's under fat, so...

89
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you have to cut back
on your sugar and carb intake.

90
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OK, coach.

91
00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:38,118
- Sorry.
- No, I appreciate the tip, thanks.

92
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Anyway, if you build muscle,
you'll gain weight,

93
00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:44,233
unless of course you're
a physiological freak like me.

94
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Since I've started lifting weight
I've lost two pounds,

95
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which is like anatomically impossible.

96
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Now Cy won't let me lift until I gain it back.

97
00:04:53,840 --> 00:04:55,512
It's bullshit, really.

98
00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:59,155
He was like, "You have to make sure
you eat protein after every session,

99
00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:03,796
"and you have to make sure
that your fat-carb ratio... blah blah blah."

100
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He weighed me two days ago.

101
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I don't know how,
but I'd lost another pound.

102
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- Can I eat here?
- Sorry?

103
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I never asked if it was OK
for me to eat here.

104
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Sure, of course it is.

105
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I know you have all these rules

106
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and I wasn't sure
if there was a rule about food.

107
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What are my rules?

108
00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:35,152
Well, there was a no-suicide rule
that we made last week.

109
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I think that was more of a pact, but...

110
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If it was a pact, we'd be drinking
poisoned Kool-Aid together.

111
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(Laughs)

112
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When I had the cast,
you had that rule about not undressing me.

113
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Well, I don't know that's so much a rule.

114
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I... I felt that that was inappropriate.

115
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So there are no rules.

116
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I can do whatever I want?

117
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No, that's not what I said,

118
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but you can definitely eat.

119
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It makes me happy to see you eat...

120
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with gusto.

121
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A lot of gusto, actually.

122
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What happened?

123
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I'm done. I don't want any more.
It's a little disgusting.

124
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- I thought you said it was good.
- I said it was OK.

125
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Hm.

126
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- I'm not hungry any more.
- OK.

127
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I had half a slice.
What do you want me to do?

128
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Finish the whole thing?
Who can finish a whole slice of pizza?

129
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- I think there's a lot of people who could.
- Fat people.

130
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Do you know what "gusto" means?

131
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Of course. It means...

132
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It means it's how fat people eat.

133
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With gusto.

134
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Did you know a fat person
who ate with gusto?

135
00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:11,639
Not exactly.

136
00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:15,076
Well, why are you smiling?

137
00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:18,509
My father had this girlfriend...

138
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a model.

139
00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:21,599
She hardly spoke English

140
00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:24,552
and he didn't speak Italian,
it was ridiculous.

141
00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:27,194
She used to turn up
with bags of chocolate.

142
00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:30,152
She kept trying to force-feed me.

143
00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:33,158
When I wouldn't do it,
she told my dad I was anorexic.

144
00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:38,149
She went around the house
pointing to me and saying,

145
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(Italian accent) "I am so worried for her.
She has no gusto for eating."

146
00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:46,154
Meanwhile she's stuffing
her bony ass like a pig

147
00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:48,475
and never gaining any weight.

148
00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:51,034
She was a total Mia.
My dad never saw it.

149
00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:53,753
Hm.

150
00:07:56,320 --> 00:07:57,912
What?

151
00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:00,837
You can say it.

152
00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:04,593
I've heard it a thousand times before.

153
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:09,070
You think I have an eating disorder.

154
00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:11,190
Why can't anybody understand?

155
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:13,231
This is just the way I'm built.

156
00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:14,713
I don't get hungry.

157
00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:17,149
I can go a whole day
and never get hungry.

158
00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:19,191
It doesn't mean I'm anorexic.

159
00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:21,117
I'm an Olympic hopeful, for God's sakes.

160
00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:23,594
I know what my body is
and isn't capable of.

161
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I know my body better at 16
than regular people ever will.

162
00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:35,711
Never saw her again.

163
00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:39,235
She starved to death, hopefully.

164
00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:42,515
I don't know.

165
00:08:42,560 --> 00:08:45,472
He never stayed
with any of them for very long.

166
00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:49,479
And when she told him that she thought
that you had an eating disorder,

167
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did he take her seriously?

168
00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:52,918
I don't know.

169
00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:55,633
- Did he try to get you to eat more?
- No.

170
00:08:56,440 --> 00:09:00,319
He likes me for myself
and he loves how I look.

171
00:09:00,360 --> 00:09:02,954
He said if the whole
gymnastics thing doesn't work out,

172
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,389
he can get me a job as a model...

173
00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:07,192
like that.

174
00:09:10,640 --> 00:09:12,596
So, how do you feel about your weight?

175
00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:14,998
I love it.

176
00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:17,349
I like being light and thin.

177
00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:21,188
I like feeling that I could just slip away
through a crack in the door if I had to.

178
00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:22,559
Mm.

179
00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:25,876
Can you think of a time
when you used your...

180
00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:28,309
lightness, as you call it, to...

181
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:29,759
to slip away?

182
00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:31,836
I'm describing a feeling, Paul.

183
00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:34,519
- Don't be so literal.
- OK. Fair enough.

184
00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:38,352
Well, can you think of a time, then,
when you thought,

185
00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:40,436
"I wish I could just slip away"?

186
00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:42,436
How about right now?

187
00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:44,548
(Laughs)

188
00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:48,229
That... that party where
the boy took you into the...

189
00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:49,395
into the bedroom.

190
00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:51,237
Didn't you want to slip away then?

191
00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:54,751
I was trashed.

192
00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:00,350
- You don't get it.
- What don't I get?

193
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:02,834
The slipping away thing.

194
00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:06,279
It's... it's a girl thing,

195
00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:09,437
the wanting to be light.

196
00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:11,198
To be there, but not to be there.

197
00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:14,118
It's like...
Can we talk about something else?

198
00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:15,639
Finish the thought, Sophie.

199
00:10:15,680 --> 00:10:19,195
No. I wanna talk about something else.

200
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,519
OK.

201
00:10:21,560 --> 00:10:24,199
What would you like to talk about, then?

202
00:10:27,080 --> 00:10:28,479
How's your daughter?

203
00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:31,159
Rosie? She's, um...

204
00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:33,077
She's fine, thank you.

205
00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:35,315
Is she still with that fucked-up guy?

206
00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:37,157
Do you really want to talk about her

207
00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:40,237
or are you just trying
to make me uncomfortable?

208
00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:45,555
I don't wanna talk about her if you don't.

209
00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:49,673
- Why wouldn't I want to talk about her?
- You never mention her.

210
00:10:52,680 --> 00:10:54,671
Hm.

211
00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:57,073
After you left last week,

212
00:10:57,120 --> 00:11:00,032
I couldn't help thinking about
how you didn't tell me

213
00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:01,911
that your dad was in Miami.

214
00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:03,748
We're back to that?

215
00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:06,837
So he still doesn't know about
your attempted suicide?

216
00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:08,677
I don't want to talk about this.

217
00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:10,790
Do you want to keep it
a secret from him?

218
00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:12,671
It's not a fucking secret.

219
00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:15,234
How can it be a secret
if that's all you and my mom

220
00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:17,430
and everyone else can talk about?

221
00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:32,509
- What are you thinking about?
- Nothing.

222
00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:36,717
I have a test tomorrow and I missed
my dentist appointment today,

223
00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:39,035
so I have to reschedule that.

224
00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:41,230
- I think you're running away.
- What?

225
00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:44,431
Mm-hm. In your mind,
you're planning your schedule.

226
00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:49,235
We get close to something
that feels dangerous to you.

227
00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:51,191
And what do you do? You retreat.

228
00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:52,992
I'm not retreating.

229
00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:55,634
I'm stressed about the exam,
I think I have a cavity

230
00:11:55,680 --> 00:11:58,513
and I have a stomachache
from that fucking pizza.

231
00:11:58,560 --> 00:12:01,472
- What a mistake that was.
- Well...

232
00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:03,636
I have a theory about that pizza.

233
00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:05,113
Surprise, surprise.

234
00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:08,634
Would you like to hear it?

235
00:12:08,680 --> 00:12:11,831
- Do I have a choice?
- Yeah. You always have a choice.

236
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,358
What's your theory?

237
00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:18,630
I think that you were enjoying that pizza

238
00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:21,319
until I said something that reminded you

239
00:12:21,360 --> 00:12:24,796
of something your father's girlfriend
used to say to you.

240
00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:28,595
I used the word "gusto".

241
00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:30,596
Are you saying
I'm fucked up about food

242
00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:33,029
because of something
my father's girlfriend said?

243
00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:36,550
- Are you fucked up about food?
- Isn't everybody?

244
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:41,268
What does food mean to you?

245
00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:42,958
What do you mean?

246
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:47,357
Well, is it nutrition,
is it enjoyment, is it... What?

247
00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:50,679
- It's the enemy.
- Hm.

248
00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:54,510
It's just what happens to gymnasts.

249
00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:59,751
Why didn't you tell me your father
was in Miami? Why was it a secret?

250
00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:01,791
It's not a fucking secret.

251
00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:06,150
I just don't need to bother him
with every boring detail of my life.

252
00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:09,715
- Attempted suicide is a boring detail?
- It's not a suicide attempt.

253
00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:11,876
I was just testing. Remember?

254
00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:14,670
Somebody around here had that theory, I think.

255
00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:16,358
Yeah, that rings a bell.

256
00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:24,312
He'd put it together and decide
that it's all your fault.

257
00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:27,193
He already thinks
you're a quack, remember?

258
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:30,357
It's better for you if he doesn't find out.
He'd never let me come back.

259
00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:31,913
Is it better for you or me?

260
00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:35,396
Which of us would have to
stay away from therapy, do you think?

261
00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:37,635
If he knew, he'd be devastated.

262
00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:42,189
He is the most important person to me
in this whole world.

263
00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:44,390
I don't ever want to hurt him.

264
00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:46,829
Why can't you just let it go?

265
00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:52,031
Forget it.
This is such a waste of time.

266
00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:54,116
You tried to kill yourself, Sophie,

267
00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:57,596
and you don't want to tell the most
important person in your world?

268
00:13:57,640 --> 00:13:59,631
He has a life!

269
00:13:59,680 --> 00:14:03,150
Somebody has to.
We can't all go around like walking corpses.

270
00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:05,191
It's not his fault that I took those pills!

271
00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:06,832
I'm not saying it is his fault,

272
00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:09,917
I'm just trying to figure out
why you were ready to leave the planet

273
00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:10,949
and not tell him.

274
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:13,912
- What's up your ass?
- Are you angry at him for something?

275
00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:16,997
- I'm not angry at him.
- Is there something you're not telling me?

276
00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:18,837
Get off my back!

277
00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:22,035
OK.

278
00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:28,554
Are we done?

279
00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:32,429
We have a little time left.

280
00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:41,315
What?

281
00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:43,112
Well, you...

282
00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:46,550
You've never wanted
to end a session early before.

283
00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:27,269
In our first session
you mentioned those books up there.

284
00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:30,073
I thought it was because
you identified with them.

285
00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:34,193
You said they were
cold and Ionely on the top shelf.

286
00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:39,711
Then I looked at them more closely
and I realised that one of them has, uh...

287
00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:43,036
has some of your father's
photographs in it.

288
00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:46,673
You said that your dad

289
00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:50,076
loves the way that you look...

290
00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:52,429
and that, um...

291
00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:55,358
if you weren't a gymnast
that you could be a model.

292
00:15:57,880 --> 00:16:00,997
I guess models are the people that he...

293
00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:04,237
that he chooses to surround himself with,
the people he...

294
00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:05,429
he likes.

295
00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:19,033
They're the people he fucks.
I wouldn't say he likes them.

296
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:24,356
I know that in our culture thin models are...

297
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:28,029
are sexualised, but I've always
found that really strange,

298
00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:30,389
because in classical art and literature,

299
00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:33,716
eating is often used
as a metaphor for sex.

300
00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:38,035
They both conjure up desire, hunger...

301
00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:40,071
cravings inside us.

302
00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:45,075
Where are you going, Sophie?

303
00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:47,270
Sophie, try to stay here, please.

304
00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:49,276
Try not to disappear.

305
00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:51,758
Eat shit, Paul.

306
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,991
Why are you doing this?

307
00:16:57,920 --> 00:17:00,070
I thought you were trying to help.

308
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:03,476
Why does the book provoke
such a strong reaction in you?

309
00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:06,238
What you're doing is sick.

310
00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:08,874
It's fucking sick. It's perverted.

311
00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:11,798
- I'll never forgive you for this.
- Why?

312
00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:14,195
Because I'm making you uncomfortable?

313
00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:17,676
I'm asking you to think about things
you don't really want to talk about.

314
00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:19,915
If I wanted to talk
about my father's book,

315
00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:22,076
I would have told you it was right there.

316
00:17:22,120 --> 00:17:25,317
What about all that crap about
a patient deciding what we talk about?

317
00:17:25,360 --> 00:17:29,035
That you take things at my speed,
and I control the wheels and all that?

318
00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:30,274
You're so full of shit.

319
00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:32,993
But you have been driving
what we talk about here.

320
00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:35,190
You may not realise it, but you have.

321
00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:38,550
The very first thing you wanted
to talk about were those books.

322
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:39,749
What are you saying?

323
00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:42,394
That you jerk off
to my father's photographs?

324
00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:46,228
That you open up that book
and jerk off all over those sluts?

325
00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:48,589
You keep suggesting
somebody is abusing me.

326
00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:50,392
You're abusing me!

327
00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:54,274
That's what you people love most of all, isn't it?
A good mindfuck.

328
00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:56,436
To take the one good thing
in somebody's life

329
00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:58,198
and somehow fuck it up.

330
00:17:58,240 --> 00:18:00,879
Just like my father said.

331
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:06,995
Shut the fuck up about him!

332
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:14,956
How could you?

333
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:18,549
How could you?
You're just like everybody else!

334
00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:19,794
Like who, Sophie?

335
00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:23,595
Sophie.

336
00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:27,191
Please, don't go.

337
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:29,356
- Please.
- (Sobbing softly)

338
00:19:01,120 --> 00:19:02,712
Why did you do that?

339
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:08,394
You mean why did I take the book down?

340
00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:13,240
Because I had to.

341
00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:15,669
I had to put the book on the table...

342
00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:20,388
and there was really
no graceful way of doing it, Sophie.

343
00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:25,278
I think this book is
connected to your wound.

344
00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:30,030
And opening a wound, Sophie, is...

345
00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:32,310
it's frightening,

346
00:19:32,360 --> 00:19:34,954
it's painful

347
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,353
and it's...

348
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:38,595
and it's ugly.

349
00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:46,748
You implied that I'd been
sexually abused.

350
00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:49,394
Is that what you heard?

351
00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:51,795
I never said anything like that.

352
00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:57,434
This book with the...

353
00:19:57,480 --> 00:19:59,471
with the naked models...

354
00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:03,318
you wanted me to see that.

355
00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:09,711
You know what I think?

356
00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:14,231
I think you're angry.

357
00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:18,917
I think you've got great anger
towards your father.

358
00:20:21,240 --> 00:20:25,916
You said earlier on that you wished
that you could slip through the cracks.

359
00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:29,316
But you don't do that when you're
in trouble, Sophie. Not really.

360
00:20:29,360 --> 00:20:32,113
Your mind tries to, but your body...

361
00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:34,515
your body stays here.

362
00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:36,994
You let others do things to you,

363
00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:40,635
because you convince yourself that...

364
00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:42,955
that you're not really there.

365
00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:46,955
That it's not happening to you.

366
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:49,230
That it's not...

367
00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:51,475
That it's not hurting you.

368
00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:54,668
I'm sure this week
you'll exercise like a fiend.

369
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:57,632
And not because
you're an Olympic hopeful...

370
00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:03,711
but because I know that
after this session you're gonna want...

371
00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:05,910
to regain control.

372
00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:11,435
But I want you to
remember something, Sophie.

373
00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:14,438
When you go up onto that beam,

374
00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:16,948
that's the place where you detach.

375
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:19,594
That's where you go to feel safe.

376
00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:25,189
All I want you to know
is you don't have to go there.

377
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:28,232
There are other places
where you can feel safe.

378
00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:31,669
And here, in this room...

379
00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:35,035
is one of those places.

380
00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:10,869
English SDH