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00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:27,538
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
Resync for WEB-DL by lost0ne
www.addic7ed.com
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(birds chirping)
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00:00:30,217 --> 00:00:31,461
KRISTEN:
Thank you for hosting
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Christmas dinner tomorrow night,
by the way.
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You didn't give me much choice.
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Hey, you're the one who
has to watch Wilfred.
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00:00:37,153 --> 00:00:39,303
And there's no way he's
coming back to my place.
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00:00:39,355 --> 00:00:42,607
Last time, he did that, like,
fish juice thing on my carpets.
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00:00:44,276 --> 00:00:46,194
Are you nervous?
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00:00:46,278 --> 00:00:47,412
No.
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00:00:47,479 --> 00:00:49,330
Really?
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00:00:49,415 --> 00:00:51,616
You and Dad haven't seen each
other in almost two years.
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00:00:51,667 --> 00:00:53,952
I just saw Dad a month ago
at the grocery store.
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We had a little chat
over some champagne.
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00:00:56,488 --> 00:00:58,656
Very funny.
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00:00:58,707 --> 00:01:00,925
Don't worry.
The therapy really helped.
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00:01:00,993 --> 00:01:02,877
I'm going into this
with an open mind.
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00:01:02,962 --> 00:01:04,162
Good.
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00:01:04,213 --> 00:01:05,880
Also, I have a little surprise.
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00:01:05,965 --> 00:01:07,966
Um, Mom's insane asylum is...
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It's not an insane asylum.
It has, like... ducks.
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Fine. Her duck sanctuary is
allowing her five hours
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of supervised visitation
tomorrow night.
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00:01:15,307 --> 00:01:16,891
So, for the first
time in years,
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the whole family is
gonna be together.
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00:01:18,561 --> 00:01:20,395
Look, it's not gonna
be a cakewalk,
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00:01:20,479 --> 00:01:23,231
but I want Joffrey to have
a normal holiday experience,
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00:01:23,315 --> 00:01:25,450
which means being surrounded
by his entire family.
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00:01:25,517 --> 00:01:27,785
Fine. But if Mom and Dad
start fighting,
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I'm putting Joffrey in one
of their laps to distract them.
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00:01:30,539 --> 00:01:32,790
You want to use my baby?
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00:01:32,858 --> 00:01:34,542
That's genius.
Hey!
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00:01:34,627 --> 00:01:37,662
Fancy meeting you guys here!
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00:01:37,713 --> 00:01:39,247
I'm sorry.
No dogs allowed.
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00:01:39,331 --> 00:01:40,531
I'm just... (sighs)
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Sorry.
Yeah. It's cool.
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00:01:42,918 --> 00:01:45,253
I'll just... mail
my Christmas list to Santa.
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00:01:45,337 --> 00:01:47,172
Want to hear
what I'm asking for?
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00:01:47,223 --> 00:01:49,040
Sure.
A Big Wheel,
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00:01:49,091 --> 00:01:50,725
so I can drag
Santa's severed head
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00:01:50,809 --> 00:01:52,143
through the streets of Venice.
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00:01:52,211 --> 00:01:53,978
A Darth Vader action figure,
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00:01:54,046 --> 00:01:56,564
so I can stick that plastic,
tiny, little lightsaber
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into Santa's urethra.
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A catcher's mitt, so I can make
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00:01:59,852 --> 00:02:01,936
cruel comparisons
to Mrs. Claus's vagina.
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00:02:02,021 --> 00:02:04,022
Why do you hate Santa so much?
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00:02:04,073 --> 00:02:06,441
Santa is the mailman
on steroids.
49
00:02:06,525 --> 00:02:08,359
I mean, this guy comes
into your house--
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00:02:08,410 --> 00:02:11,613
into your house-- leaves
packages covered with his scent,
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calls you "ho" three times.
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Keep in mind, this is a guy
who has sex with reindeer.
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00:02:16,368 --> 00:02:18,169
Wilfred, you realize
that Santa isn't r...
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00:02:18,237 --> 00:02:19,787
Isn't ready to get
his ass beat?
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00:02:19,872 --> 00:02:21,789
Yeah, I know.
That diabetic blobmeister
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doesn't have the balls
to show his face
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00:02:23,375 --> 00:02:24,542
when Wilfred's in the house!
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00:02:24,593 --> 00:02:26,044
Yeah, what's up, tits?!
Wilfred!
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I'm not gonna do nothing
while your goons
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are around.
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00:02:28,399 --> 00:02:29,195
Yeah, we're cool.
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We're cool.
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Wilfred! No!
I'm sorry.
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You see how that
could be confusing.
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God.
Are you okay, mate?
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00:02:45,030 --> 00:02:47,431
Y-You seem anxious.
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00:02:47,483 --> 00:02:48,483
(sighs)
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00:02:48,567 --> 00:02:50,101
I'm just worried about tonight.
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00:02:50,152 --> 00:02:52,870
I-I was prepared
to deal with my dad,
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00:02:52,938 --> 00:02:54,989
but Mom and Dad together?
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00:02:55,074 --> 00:02:56,908
You and your mum get along great.
Yeah,
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00:02:56,959 --> 00:02:59,244
but when my parents fight,
she's like a loose cannon.
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00:02:59,295 --> 00:03:01,629
I just don't want her to say
a bunch of stuff about me
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00:03:01,714 --> 00:03:02,714
in front of my dad.
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00:03:02,781 --> 00:03:03,614
Like what?
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00:03:03,666 --> 00:03:05,133
Like why I quit his firm.
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How I tried to kill myself.
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00:03:06,719 --> 00:03:07,969
Maybe it's time your dad
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00:03:08,053 --> 00:03:09,971
found out how much
he screwed you up.
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00:03:10,055 --> 00:03:12,473
I mean, you've always said
he's a manipulative bully.
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00:03:12,558 --> 00:03:14,425
Now's your chance
to stand up to him.
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00:03:14,476 --> 00:03:17,512
Perhaps in the form of
a "Beat It" style knife fight.
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00:03:17,596 --> 00:03:19,964
I can't do that.
(sighs) Sure you can.
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00:03:20,015 --> 00:03:22,350
Just lock your arms together,
hold your knives up,
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and then dance your ass off.
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Look, standing up to my dad
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is not gonna help
us start over.
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All I want is to get
through this evening
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00:03:31,527 --> 00:03:33,077
with as little stress
as possible.
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00:03:33,145 --> 00:03:35,580
Say no more. I'll stop
badgering you about your dad.
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00:03:35,647 --> 00:03:38,499
Besides, Christmas is a time
for families to come together
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00:03:38,584 --> 00:03:40,368
to share yuletide joy.
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00:03:40,452 --> 00:03:42,153
And, yeah, I mean,
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00:03:42,204 --> 00:03:44,539
Jenna and Drew did go back
to Wisconsin without me, but...
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I'm excited about spending
Christmas with you!
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And being a part
of your family.
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00:03:48,994 --> 00:03:51,212
(sighs)
Uh, actually...
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with my mom coming now,
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00:03:54,350 --> 00:03:56,434
would you mind hanging out
in the basement?
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00:03:58,220 --> 00:04:01,356
B-But it's-it's not Christmas
without Wilfred.
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00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:03,320
Would it help if I said
that there was an eighth
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00:04:03,359 --> 00:04:05,026
of Silver Haze down there?
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00:04:05,110 --> 00:04:07,061
A-And-and the DVD player's
already loaded up
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00:04:07,146 --> 00:04:08,146
with Jingle All the Way?
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00:04:09,448 --> 00:04:12,283
It helps.
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00:04:13,485 --> 00:04:14,986
(doorbell rings)
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00:04:15,037 --> 00:04:16,871
That's probably Dad.
Um, here, here.
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00:04:16,955 --> 00:04:18,689
Let me stir that
while you get the door.
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00:04:18,741 --> 00:04:20,858
Ryan, you're gonna have
to see Dad eventually.
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(exhales)
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♪ On the first day
of Christmas ♪
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♪ My true love gave to me
a partridge ♪
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♪ In a pear...
Thanks, but now's not a good time.
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Dick!
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(shouts)
Oh...
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Shit!
Well, just relax.
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It's just flour.
Sorry.
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I-I'm just a little on edge
about seeing Dad, I guess.
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HENRY: If it makes you
feel any better,
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I'm nervous, too.
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I saw a strange Indian couple
assaulting people
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with what may have been
Christmas carols,
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00:04:50,773 --> 00:04:52,390
so to avoid them,
I-I went around back.
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I hope you don't mind
that I let myself in.
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Merry Christmas, Daddy!
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Merry Christmas, pumpkin.
(inhales)
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Mmm. Is that a... new perfume?
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00:05:02,368 --> 00:05:04,702
No, but I can get a new perfume.
Should I? I-I should.
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00:05:04,753 --> 00:05:07,455
(timer dings)
Oh. I've got to put the potatoes in.
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00:05:07,539 --> 00:05:09,340
Uh, potatoes au gratin--
your favorite, right, Dad?
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00:05:09,408 --> 00:05:11,259
Well...
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(clicks tongue, sighs)
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(exhales)
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00:05:17,749 --> 00:05:20,084
So...
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00:05:20,135 --> 00:05:21,769
How have you been?
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00:05:21,854 --> 00:05:23,721
Good, yeah.
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00:05:23,772 --> 00:05:25,973
You seem like you're...
doing better.
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00:05:26,058 --> 00:05:27,425
I am.
139
00:05:29,445 --> 00:05:31,429
Kristen tells me
you have a roommate.
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00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:35,266
Yeah. Uh, sh-she's spending
the holidays with some friends.
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00:05:38,404 --> 00:05:40,905
(knocking)
Excuse me.
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00:05:40,956 --> 00:05:43,274
No, I've got it.
(chuckles)
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Merry Christmas, poopy pants!
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00:05:46,745 --> 00:05:48,612
(chuckles)
Well, I know
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00:05:48,664 --> 00:05:52,417
you're all grown-up, but I will
always think of you that way.
146
00:05:52,468 --> 00:05:53,501
Hello, Catherine.
147
00:05:53,585 --> 00:05:55,052
Henry.
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00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:57,305
Hey, you!
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00:05:57,389 --> 00:05:59,140
Mom.
(gasps, squeals)
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00:05:59,224 --> 00:06:01,175
I don't know why I'm so excited.
(chuckles)
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00:06:01,260 --> 00:06:03,895
It's only been a couple of
weeks since I've seen you.
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00:06:03,962 --> 00:06:06,514
Ryan comes to visit me
every single month.
153
00:06:06,598 --> 00:06:08,850
That's nice. Who's your friend?
154
00:06:08,934 --> 00:06:13,271
Oh. This is Andre,
my date for the night.
155
00:06:13,322 --> 00:06:15,022
Hands off, Desdemona.
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00:06:15,107 --> 00:06:16,107
Mom.
Actually,
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00:06:16,158 --> 00:06:17,308
I'm the caretaker assigned
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00:06:17,359 --> 00:06:18,443
to accompany your mother
tonight.
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00:06:18,494 --> 00:06:19,861
It's complicated.
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00:06:19,945 --> 00:06:21,279
It's not complicated at all.
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I'm gonna wait in the car.
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00:06:22,915 --> 00:06:24,582
No, no. Come in.
It's Christmas.
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00:06:24,649 --> 00:06:28,453
I'm a Buddhist.
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00:06:28,504 --> 00:06:30,288
Sorry about that!
CATHERINE: I don't know why
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00:06:30,339 --> 00:06:32,623
your father feels like he has
to apologize for me.
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00:06:32,674 --> 00:06:34,709
It's not like I'm
his property anymore.
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00:06:34,793 --> 00:06:36,794
(chuckles)
(chuckles) No. Your mother's right, Ryan.
168
00:06:36,845 --> 00:06:38,212
Andre wasn't
at all uncomfortable
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00:06:38,297 --> 00:06:39,964
when she said they were dating.
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00:06:40,015 --> 00:06:42,383
He's probably running out
to the car to get
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00:06:42,468 --> 00:06:44,168
the engagement ring.
(chuckles)
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00:06:44,219 --> 00:06:45,669
KRISTEN:
Uh-oh.
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00:06:45,721 --> 00:06:47,972
Somebody wants to see
his Grammy and Pop-pop.
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00:06:48,023 --> 00:06:50,107
It's my little
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00:06:50,175 --> 00:06:52,009
Joff muffin.
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00:06:52,060 --> 00:06:53,811
(chuckles)
Oh!
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00:06:53,862 --> 00:06:55,646
Careful with his head.
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00:06:55,697 --> 00:06:59,150
Oh, but my whole plan was
to let his little neck
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00:06:59,201 --> 00:07:01,953
bend all the way back.
(chuckles)
180
00:07:02,020 --> 00:07:03,704
Oh, I got you, Joffrey.
181
00:07:03,789 --> 00:07:07,208
Oh, you're not
a Pez dispenser, are you?
182
00:07:07,292 --> 00:07:08,793
(chuckles)
Be careful, Joff muffin,
183
00:07:08,860 --> 00:07:11,629
once Pop-Pop gets you
in his loving clutches,
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00:07:11,696 --> 00:07:14,031
he will never let you go. Like, never.
RYAN: Oh!
185
00:07:14,082 --> 00:07:17,502
Look at him smile.
It's so cute, right?
186
00:07:17,553 --> 00:07:19,370
Uncle Ryan knows all about
getting caught
187
00:07:19,421 --> 00:07:21,172
in Pop-Pop's loving clutches,
doesn't he?
188
00:07:21,223 --> 00:07:22,423
(bells jingling)
189
00:07:22,508 --> 00:07:24,542
What is that?
190
00:07:24,593 --> 00:07:26,544
(jingling grows louder)
191
00:07:29,565 --> 00:07:33,050
Merry Christmas, everybody!
192
00:07:33,101 --> 00:07:35,686
(chuckles) You're not
supposed to be here.
193
00:07:35,737 --> 00:07:37,488
Well, you said Wilfred wasn't
allowed at your dinner,
194
00:07:37,556 --> 00:07:42,443
but you didn't say anything
about Santa's reindeer!
195
00:07:42,528 --> 00:07:44,829
That is so cute, Ryan!
196
00:07:44,896 --> 00:07:47,064
(chuckles)
Who's the pretty girl?
197
00:07:47,115 --> 00:07:50,501
Girl? Do you not see this penis
right here?
198
00:07:50,569 --> 00:07:52,620
Uh, no, that's actually
a gumdrop stuck on my fur.
199
00:07:52,704 --> 00:07:54,205
His name is Wilfred.
200
00:07:54,256 --> 00:07:56,574
Sorry. I'll just put him back
in the other room
201
00:07:56,625 --> 00:07:58,009
so he won't be a distraction.
202
00:07:58,076 --> 00:08:00,628
Oh, no, no, no,
let Wilfred stay.
203
00:08:00,712 --> 00:08:02,013
He's not hurting anybody.
204
00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:04,048
Well...
205
00:08:04,099 --> 00:08:06,384
I guess it wouldn't be Christmas
without Wilfred.
206
00:08:06,435 --> 00:08:08,752
Now that's the spirit.
207
00:08:15,784 --> 00:08:17,785
CATHERINE: (laughs)
Look at him go!
208
00:08:17,870 --> 00:08:19,420
(Henry laughs)
209
00:08:22,207 --> 00:08:23,925
(panting)
210
00:08:24,009 --> 00:08:26,043
Oh, man, getting tangled up
211
00:08:26,094 --> 00:08:28,346
in Christmas lights
is a workout.
212
00:08:32,885 --> 00:08:34,251
(gasps)
213
00:08:34,303 --> 00:08:36,709
Okay, that is
not ice-cold Gatorade.
214
00:08:36,829 --> 00:08:38,479
I should not have done that.
215
00:08:38,531 --> 00:08:41,178
Your dad is exactly how
I pictured him:
216
00:08:41,219 --> 00:08:42,436
pure evil.
217
00:08:42,521 --> 00:08:44,889
He even looks like Michael Vick.
218
00:08:44,940 --> 00:08:47,492
Actually, he's been
surprisingly okay tonight.
219
00:08:47,559 --> 00:08:49,226
Listen,
I-I've been thinking.
220
00:08:49,278 --> 00:08:51,112
You were right.
221
00:08:51,196 --> 00:08:53,581
Christmas is a time for family
and yuletide joy.
222
00:08:53,665 --> 00:08:55,867
Cut the figgy pudding.
223
00:08:55,918 --> 00:08:57,585
I know you're only using me
224
00:08:57,669 --> 00:08:59,236
to distract your parents
from fighting.
225
00:08:59,288 --> 00:09:01,455
Well, then why are you still
playing along?
226
00:09:01,540 --> 00:09:03,124
I'm not playing along.
227
00:09:03,208 --> 00:09:05,009
I keeps it Christmasy, Ryan.
228
00:09:05,076 --> 00:09:07,628
So, are you going to keep
keeping it Christmasy?
229
00:09:07,713 --> 00:09:12,216
Sure. I'll give you the gift
of keeping mom and dad jolly.
230
00:09:12,267 --> 00:09:15,753
But in return,
I want something from you.
231
00:09:15,804 --> 00:09:18,222
The gift of being
part of your family.
232
00:09:18,273 --> 00:09:20,641
That's it?
233
00:09:20,726 --> 00:09:21,893
Sure.
234
00:09:26,231 --> 00:09:27,615
Oh, mm-mm.
235
00:09:27,699 --> 00:09:29,116
The meds.
236
00:09:29,201 --> 00:09:31,118
Ooh, Ryan, is that a cabernet?
237
00:09:31,203 --> 00:09:32,787
Because, you know,
Dad only drinks Bordeaux.
238
00:09:32,871 --> 00:09:34,539
I picked up bottle this morning.
239
00:09:34,606 --> 00:09:36,791
The one in the kitchen?
The 2003?
240
00:09:36,875 --> 00:09:38,125
Not a good year?
241
00:09:38,210 --> 00:09:39,160
No...
242
00:09:39,244 --> 00:09:40,878
I can get you a beer instead.
243
00:09:40,946 --> 00:09:42,213
I'm fine, pumpkin.
244
00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:43,361
WILFRED:
Pumpkin? (chuckles)
245
00:09:43,415 --> 00:09:45,166
Okay, just so I understand,
246
00:09:45,250 --> 00:09:47,690
your dad nicknamed his daughter
after the scent of her vagina?
247
00:09:47,719 --> 00:09:50,254
(chuckles)
Cool!
248
00:09:50,305 --> 00:09:51,956
Ah, thanks, Mom!
249
00:09:52,007 --> 00:09:54,892
Can you, uh, toss us
the butter as well, please?
250
00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:57,511
Should we be feeding
the dog human food?
251
00:09:57,596 --> 00:09:59,096
Okay, Henry. Hmm.
252
00:09:59,147 --> 00:10:00,598
I don't think we should be
253
00:10:00,649 --> 00:10:01,933
taking dog advice
from your father.
254
00:10:01,984 --> 00:10:03,684
Why is that?
255
00:10:03,769 --> 00:10:06,404
Um, maybe because you used
to kick Sneakers.
256
00:10:06,471 --> 00:10:08,489
I didn't kick him,
Catherine. I shoved him
257
00:10:08,574 --> 00:10:10,741
gently with my foot
to teach him not to beg
258
00:10:10,809 --> 00:10:12,326
just like the trainer taught us.
259
00:10:12,411 --> 00:10:13,527
Uh, okay.
260
00:10:13,612 --> 00:10:15,196
I guess I-I should have let him
261
00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:16,581
drink strawberry milk
instead of water
262
00:10:16,648 --> 00:10:17,832
so he'd have
terrible, chronic gas.
263
00:10:17,916 --> 00:10:19,033
(laughs)
264
00:10:19,117 --> 00:10:19,957
WILFRED:
You did that?
265
00:10:20,002 --> 00:10:21,702
That's so beautiful.
266
00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:23,671
Oh maybe you just didn't take
to Sneakers
267
00:10:23,755 --> 00:10:25,539
because he wasn't
obedient enough.
268
00:10:25,624 --> 00:10:27,258
He didn't follow commands.
269
00:10:31,463 --> 00:10:33,848
Speaking of Sneakers...
270
00:10:33,932 --> 00:10:37,184
remember that one Christmas
when Sneakers snuck downstairs
271
00:10:37,269 --> 00:10:38,853
and ate all of Santa's cookies?
272
00:10:38,937 --> 00:10:40,221
(laughter)
273
00:10:40,305 --> 00:10:41,672
Shit! Go, Sneakers.
274
00:10:41,723 --> 00:10:43,224
Was that that same Christmas
275
00:10:43,308 --> 00:10:45,810
that Ryan got that
electric guitar he wanted?
276
00:10:45,861 --> 00:10:47,812
Oh, no. Wait.
He didn't get the guitar.
277
00:10:47,863 --> 00:10:49,230
What did you give him, Henry?
278
00:10:49,314 --> 00:10:51,032
Oh, yeah.
279
00:10:51,116 --> 00:10:53,367
An engraved Tiffany pen.
280
00:10:53,452 --> 00:10:54,952
A pen.
281
00:10:58,490 --> 00:11:01,959
Track 12.
282
00:11:02,027 --> 00:11:04,295
Hey, how about some music?
283
00:11:06,531 --> 00:11:08,249
(intro to "Deck the Halls"
plays)
284
00:11:08,333 --> 00:11:11,302
♪ Deck the halls
with boughs of holly ♪
285
00:11:11,369 --> 00:11:13,888
♪ Fa, la-la, la-la,
la-la, la-la... ♪
286
00:11:13,972 --> 00:11:16,590
(laughter)
287
00:11:16,675 --> 00:11:17,975
It's like he's trying to sing.
288
00:11:18,043 --> 00:11:19,393
(laughter)
289
00:11:19,478 --> 00:11:22,229
Trying. Uh, was Oates trying?
290
00:11:22,314 --> 00:11:23,881
KRISTEN:
Hey, careful.
291
00:11:23,932 --> 00:11:25,382
We're taking a family photo
after dinner,
292
00:11:25,434 --> 00:11:27,151
and you know how easily
you get droopy drunk face.
293
00:11:27,218 --> 00:11:29,320
Oh. Family photo.
294
00:11:29,387 --> 00:11:32,556
I'm assuming I'll be in it, uh,
since I'm part of the family?
295
00:11:35,226 --> 00:11:37,945
Ryan, he already ruined
Joffrey's photo with Santa.
296
00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:40,081
I know, but it'd
mean a lot to me.
297
00:11:40,165 --> 00:11:41,582
Fine. We'll take two photos.
298
00:11:41,667 --> 00:11:43,901
But you know what
would mean a lot to me?
299
00:11:43,952 --> 00:11:45,670
If you didn't have
wine mouth right now.
300
00:11:45,737 --> 00:11:47,755
WILFRED:
Sorry I'm late.
301
00:11:47,839 --> 00:11:49,799
I was deciding between this
and a leather harness,
302
00:11:49,841 --> 00:11:51,876
but, honestly,
the harness seemed
303
00:11:51,927 --> 00:11:54,211
a little too S&M-y
for Christmas.
304
00:11:54,262 --> 00:11:55,463
Are we-we
good to go?
305
00:11:55,547 --> 00:11:57,081
Okay, we're gonna take
one official
306
00:11:57,132 --> 00:11:59,133
family photo, and then,
one weird random photo
307
00:11:59,217 --> 00:12:01,302
for Ryan's neighbor's dog
that I'm going to delete
308
00:12:01,386 --> 00:12:03,354
the second after
I e-mail it to Ryan.
309
00:12:03,421 --> 00:12:05,255
I'm not in the official
family photo?
310
00:12:07,359 --> 00:12:09,860
It's okay.
311
00:12:09,928 --> 00:12:11,779
Don't worry, Ryan.
312
00:12:11,863 --> 00:12:14,699
Ryan, your log
still burns bright.
313
00:12:14,766 --> 00:12:17,068
Ryan?
314
00:12:20,772 --> 00:12:23,074
(sighs)
315
00:12:24,609 --> 00:12:26,127
(laughs)
316
00:12:26,211 --> 00:12:27,962
You're gonna love it.
317
00:12:28,046 --> 00:12:29,580
I use mine every day.
318
00:12:29,631 --> 00:12:31,082
Oh, thanks, Mom.
319
00:12:31,133 --> 00:12:32,550
HENRY:
Looks like there's
320
00:12:32,617 --> 00:12:33,884
one more gift under the tree.
321
00:12:33,952 --> 00:12:35,452
Oh.
322
00:12:35,504 --> 00:12:37,638
"To the Newman family."
323
00:12:37,723 --> 00:12:39,724
(laughs)
Who's it from?
324
00:12:39,791 --> 00:12:41,392
Ooh!
325
00:12:41,459 --> 00:12:42,727
A mystery gift.
Oh, yeah.
326
00:12:42,794 --> 00:12:44,128
Shall I open it?
327
00:12:44,179 --> 00:12:46,463
KRISTEN:
Mm-hmm.
328
00:12:49,067 --> 00:12:51,301
(both laugh)
329
00:12:54,272 --> 00:12:56,190
HENRY:
Look at that.
330
00:12:56,274 --> 00:12:58,192
The whole family.
331
00:12:58,276 --> 00:13:00,811
All together.
332
00:13:00,862 --> 00:13:03,364
Why are you smirking like that?
333
00:13:03,448 --> 00:13:06,617
Wait. Is this from you?
334
00:13:06,668 --> 00:13:08,485
What?
Okay.
335
00:13:08,537 --> 00:13:11,038
I get it. That's... me,
336
00:13:11,123 --> 00:13:13,424
crazy Catherine,
standing between you
337
00:13:13,491 --> 00:13:15,793
and your perfect little family,
tearing it apart.
338
00:13:15,844 --> 00:13:17,595
Catherine, I didn't do it.
339
00:13:17,662 --> 00:13:19,496
Okay, well,
you are the one that
340
00:13:19,548 --> 00:13:21,465
tore this family apart, Henry,
341
00:13:21,516 --> 00:13:23,667
because you're the one
who made me crazy!
342
00:13:23,718 --> 00:13:26,670
(baby crying)
Catherine, please, calm down.
343
00:13:26,721 --> 00:13:29,056
Uh, hey, look, look, Wilfred's
playing with the, um...
344
00:13:29,141 --> 00:13:31,976
Mm, I will not stand by
345
00:13:32,027 --> 00:13:34,862
and let you do to Ryan
what you did to me!
346
00:13:34,946 --> 00:13:37,782
Ryan, I think we should get
your mother's nurse.
347
00:13:37,849 --> 00:13:39,784
Tell them, Ryan.
Tell them how...
348
00:13:39,851 --> 00:13:42,069
how-how he broke you down
349
00:13:42,154 --> 00:13:44,354
so-so you didn't even
feel human anymore,
350
00:13:44,406 --> 00:13:47,041
and how you... how you felt
like the only way out was...
351
00:13:47,125 --> 00:13:48,492
was to just take
your own life...
352
00:13:48,543 --> 00:13:50,628
Mom, enough! Shut up!
353
00:13:50,695 --> 00:13:54,081
All you've been doing all night
is-is bringing up the past
354
00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:55,824
and starting shit with Dad.
355
00:13:55,944 --> 00:13:57,078
This was supposed
356
00:13:57,145 --> 00:13:58,362
to be a special night
357
00:13:58,447 --> 00:13:59,409
to celebrate Joffrey's
358
00:13:59,529 --> 00:14:00,858
first Christmas with his family,
359
00:14:00,978 --> 00:14:03,025
and now you've completely
ruined it!
360
00:14:07,589 --> 00:14:09,823
(panting)
361
00:14:16,253 --> 00:14:17,695
So much for your
Christmas spirit.
362
00:14:17,827 --> 00:14:19,327
What are you talking about?
Just 'cause you weren't
363
00:14:19,412 --> 00:14:20,779
allowed in one photo, you had
364
00:14:20,830 --> 00:14:21,996
to sabotage Christmas
with that drawing?
365
00:14:22,081 --> 00:14:23,448
Of course not, Ryan.
366
00:14:23,499 --> 00:14:25,500
Sure, I was hurt,
367
00:14:25,584 --> 00:14:28,002
but I put that under the tree
before anyone even arrived.
368
00:14:28,087 --> 00:14:30,321
It was an actual gift
meant to thank you all
369
00:14:30,372 --> 00:14:32,340
for letting me be part
of your family tonight.
370
00:14:32,425 --> 00:14:33,991
How was I supposed to know
371
00:14:34,043 --> 00:14:35,794
any of that was gonna happen
back there?
372
00:14:35,845 --> 00:14:37,629
In any normal family,
373
00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:39,497
a drawing like that would have
brought everyone together.
374
00:14:39,548 --> 00:14:42,300
Yeah, well,
with a Mom like Catherine,
375
00:14:42,351 --> 00:14:43,685
this is what happens.
376
00:14:43,769 --> 00:14:45,270
Come on, Ryan.
377
00:14:45,337 --> 00:14:47,639
You know tonight
wasn't your mom's fault.
378
00:14:47,690 --> 00:14:50,191
Then whose?
My dad's?
379
00:14:50,276 --> 00:14:52,844
He's been nothing
but calm and polite.
380
00:14:52,895 --> 00:14:55,280
It's my mom
who's been starting everything.
381
00:14:55,347 --> 00:14:57,899
So you haven't noticed him
pushing her buttons all night?
382
00:14:57,983 --> 00:15:00,785
Apologizing to her nurse
for her?
383
00:15:00,853 --> 00:15:02,203
Criticizing the way
she holds Joffrey
384
00:15:02,288 --> 00:15:03,455
or the way she fed me?
385
00:15:03,522 --> 00:15:05,573
Smirking at the drawing?
386
00:15:05,658 --> 00:15:07,191
The guy's a manipulative bully.
387
00:15:07,243 --> 00:15:09,544
But what does he have to gain?
388
00:15:09,628 --> 00:15:11,496
What he's always wanted:
control over you.
389
00:15:11,547 --> 00:15:14,299
I mean, it's obvious how close
you and your mom have gotten.
390
00:15:14,366 --> 00:15:15,867
He had to find a way to
391
00:15:15,918 --> 00:15:17,302
tear you apart.
392
00:15:17,369 --> 00:15:18,887
I mean,
this whole night has been
393
00:15:18,971 --> 00:15:21,306
yet another giant manipulation,
Henry Newman style.
394
00:15:33,102 --> 00:15:35,887
Kristen and the nurse
are with your mother.
395
00:15:35,938 --> 00:15:39,023
It's been a while since
I've seen her this bad.
396
00:15:39,074 --> 00:15:41,392
I hope she's okay.
397
00:15:41,443 --> 00:15:43,862
Do you?
398
00:15:43,913 --> 00:15:45,914
Or-or maybe you've been
taunting her all night,
399
00:15:45,998 --> 00:15:47,415
trying to get a rise out of her.
400
00:15:47,500 --> 00:15:48,917
Maybe you wanted this to happen.
401
00:15:49,001 --> 00:15:50,835
Of course not.
402
00:15:50,903 --> 00:15:52,954
Tonight was a mistake.
403
00:15:53,038 --> 00:15:55,206
I-I never should have agreed
to see you again.
404
00:15:55,257 --> 00:15:58,176
Not until I was ready
to tell you how I really feel.
405
00:15:58,243 --> 00:16:00,077
Ryan, if you need
to say something...
406
00:16:00,129 --> 00:16:03,431
I've needed to say something
to you for the last 20 years.
407
00:16:03,516 --> 00:16:06,634
I became a lawyer
before you even let me consider
408
00:16:06,719 --> 00:16:09,086
what I might actually
want to do with my life.
409
00:16:09,138 --> 00:16:11,222
I never meant to force
you into anything.
410
00:16:11,273 --> 00:16:14,609
You could have always
told me the truth.
411
00:16:14,693 --> 00:16:17,061
And disappoint you? No, no.
412
00:16:17,112 --> 00:16:20,114
I saw firsthand what happens
to people who disappoint you.
413
00:16:20,199 --> 00:16:22,317
I saw what happened to Mom.
Ryan...
414
00:16:22,401 --> 00:16:24,452
Working for you was so toxic.
415
00:16:24,537 --> 00:16:25,770
Do you want to know why I quit?
416
00:16:25,821 --> 00:16:27,455
Because I knew that
417
00:16:27,540 --> 00:16:29,624
if I stayed there any longer,
it'd kill me.
418
00:16:29,708 --> 00:16:31,993
Oh.
419
00:16:32,077 --> 00:16:34,796
It nearly did.
420
00:16:37,449 --> 00:16:40,451
What are you saying?
421
00:16:42,388 --> 00:16:44,672
I tried to kill myself.
422
00:16:44,757 --> 00:16:47,058
Oh, my God.
423
00:16:49,294 --> 00:16:51,646
I...
424
00:16:51,730 --> 00:16:55,132
I don't know what to say.
425
00:16:55,184 --> 00:16:59,303
Look, I swear, I wasn't trying
to provoke your mother tonight.
426
00:16:59,355 --> 00:17:01,489
But everything you said
427
00:17:01,574 --> 00:17:04,525
about your experience at
the firm is probably true.
428
00:17:04,610 --> 00:17:06,911
Ryan,
429
00:17:06,979 --> 00:17:09,530
if I'd known my behavior
would have this effect on you,
430
00:17:09,615 --> 00:17:10,999
that it would push you to...
431
00:17:13,819 --> 00:17:16,671
However I need to change...
432
00:17:16,755 --> 00:17:19,374
I'll change.
433
00:17:19,458 --> 00:17:23,344
I just can't go another two
years without you in my life.
434
00:17:30,636 --> 00:17:32,470
Mrs. Newman,
435
00:17:32,521 --> 00:17:35,172
if you don't open the door
right this second, then...
436
00:17:35,224 --> 00:17:37,442
no more Wasabi Funyuns
in the rec room.
437
00:17:39,511 --> 00:17:40,945
All right, that shit's on you.
438
00:17:41,013 --> 00:17:42,447
You know you're gonna want 'em.
439
00:17:42,514 --> 00:17:44,449
Can I give it a try?
440
00:17:44,516 --> 00:17:45,984
Good luck.
(sighs)
441
00:17:50,489 --> 00:17:52,707
Mom, it's Ryan.
442
00:17:55,127 --> 00:17:56,878
I'm sorry.
443
00:17:56,962 --> 00:18:00,248
I shouldn't have said
that you ruined Christmas.
444
00:18:00,332 --> 00:18:02,634
I don't actually think that.
445
00:18:02,701 --> 00:18:05,386
(toilet flushes)
446
00:18:05,471 --> 00:18:07,889
Mom, are you listening?
447
00:18:13,228 --> 00:18:15,563
You don't have to apologize.
448
00:18:15,648 --> 00:18:17,065
It's my fault.
449
00:18:17,149 --> 00:18:19,317
After all these
years, I just...
450
00:18:19,384 --> 00:18:21,936
still haven't figured out
451
00:18:22,021 --> 00:18:24,405
how to not let your father
get to me.
452
00:18:24,490 --> 00:18:26,741
I know how you feel.
453
00:18:29,361 --> 00:18:31,746
Ryan, Ryan,
454
00:18:31,830 --> 00:18:34,065
this is the greatest Christmas
gift anyone's ever given me.
455
00:18:34,116 --> 00:18:35,733
You're welcome.
456
00:18:35,784 --> 00:18:38,069
Just get over there
before Kristen changes her mind.
457
00:18:40,039 --> 00:18:42,406
Where's Dad?
458
00:18:42,458 --> 00:18:45,543
I don't know,
but I do know where Santa is!
459
00:18:45,594 --> 00:18:47,011
You can come out now!
460
00:18:47,079 --> 00:18:48,513
Santa's here?
461
00:18:48,580 --> 00:18:50,298
Oh, shit is about to get real!
462
00:18:50,382 --> 00:18:52,416
Ho! Ho! Ho!
463
00:18:52,468 --> 00:18:53,518
Merry...
(farting, splattering)
464
00:18:53,585 --> 00:18:55,103
Oh, no! Wilfred!
465
00:18:55,187 --> 00:18:56,104
Get him outside!
CATHERINE: Oh!
466
00:18:56,188 --> 00:18:58,139
Dripping on the stairs.
467
00:18:58,223 --> 00:19:00,108
(whimpers)
Ryan.
468
00:19:00,192 --> 00:19:00,925
Oh!
469
00:19:05,415 --> 00:19:07,717
Despite the drama,
it was a good Christmas.
470
00:19:07,801 --> 00:19:10,336
And I feel like maybe my dad
and I can finally--
471
00:19:10,387 --> 00:19:12,208
I don't know-- start over.
472
00:19:12,468 --> 00:19:13,506
So you believed him?
473
00:19:13,557 --> 00:19:15,708
What do you mean?
474
00:19:15,759 --> 00:19:17,843
Maybe your dad upset your mom
because he knew
475
00:19:17,894 --> 00:19:19,395
you'd confront him
and reconcile.
476
00:19:19,925 --> 00:19:21,995
That way, he gets you back
in his clutches.
477
00:19:22,115 --> 00:19:23,832
No, I can't think
like that anymore.
478
00:19:23,916 --> 00:19:28,253
By the way, so annoying
that I got that stomach virus
479
00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:32,290
right before I was about to rip
out that Santa bitch's weave.
480
00:19:32,341 --> 00:19:36,178
Listen, I-I think it's time
someone told you the truth.
481
00:19:37,403 --> 00:19:38,819
Santa isn't real.
482
00:19:38,939 --> 00:19:39,831
What?
483
00:19:39,882 --> 00:19:42,300
Because no one else can see him,
that means he isn't real?
484
00:19:42,351 --> 00:19:43,602
(scoffs)
485
00:19:47,473 --> 00:19:49,274
No glass allowed at Clouds.
486
00:19:49,341 --> 00:19:52,360
Right. Thanks, and namaste.
487
00:19:52,445 --> 00:19:54,062
(sucks teeth)
488
00:19:54,147 --> 00:19:55,730
Bye.
489
00:19:55,815 --> 00:19:57,783
Oh. Merry Christmas, Mom.
490
00:19:57,850 --> 00:20:00,068
You, too. We never did
491
00:20:00,153 --> 00:20:02,454
find out where
that came from tonight, did we?
492
00:20:02,521 --> 00:20:04,206
Oh.
493
00:20:05,058 --> 00:20:07,681
Um, well, actually,
it-it was from me.
494
00:20:07,801 --> 00:20:09,692
I found it in a box
of my old things
495
00:20:09,812 --> 00:20:10,757
from when I was a kid.
496
00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:12,826
Oh. Well, this isn't
your drawing.
497
00:20:13,110 --> 00:20:15,695
You were a little more
spontaneous than that.
498
00:20:15,815 --> 00:20:16,855
At least until your father
499
00:20:16,875 --> 00:20:18,650
stomped your imagination
to death.
500
00:20:18,770 --> 00:20:20,149
Then, who drew it?
501
00:20:20,269 --> 00:20:21,672
Kristen.
502
00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:37,028
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
Resync for WEB-DL by lost0ne
www.addic7ed.com