1 00:00:00,430 --> 00:00:02,900 but by 2008 we'd all had enough. 2 00:00:02,900 --> 00:00:04,890 Well, most of us. 3 00:00:05,710 --> 00:00:08,260 To barney stone. 4 00:00:08,260 --> 00:00:10,100 -Look it's the ridler. -That's not the ridler. 5 00:00:10,100 --> 00:00:11,800 That's gumby. 6 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:13,190 Can we tie you in a knot later. 7 00:00:13,190 --> 00:00:16,270 Hey nba player sidelined by a knee injury. 8 00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:19,440 all right,laugh all you want but 9 00:00:19,450 --> 00:00:22,040 This is my lucky st. patty's day suit. 10 00:00:22,460 --> 00:00:23,700 I have dry cleaned many a 11 00:00:23,710 --> 00:00:25,580 Stain off this baby. 12 00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:27,270 You know why it's lucky 13 00:00:27,270 --> 00:00:28,190 Because it's green. 14 00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:30,740 The color of go as in let's. 15 00:00:30,750 --> 00:00:32,900 Barney we talked this 16 00:00:32,910 --> 00:00:35,350 Over and we're not doing st. 17 00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:36,170 Patrick's day this year. 18 00:00:36,900 --> 00:00:38,300 Come on.let's... 19 00:00:39,260 --> 00:00:43,950 Are you -- wow, okay. 20 00:00:44,130 --> 00:00:45,760 I think I got to lie down. 21 00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:47,440 Can we shoot pool on you? 22 00:00:48,110 --> 00:00:49,700 No, no! 23 00:00:49,700 --> 00:00:50,990 Unacceptable. 24 00:00:50,990 --> 00:00:52,550 That's so not raven. 25 00:00:53,380 --> 00:00:54,780 What are you going to do instead. 26 00:00:54,780 --> 00:00:55,780 We just got the keys to 27 00:00:55,790 --> 00:00:56,660 Our new apartment so we're 28 00:00:56,680 --> 00:00:59,470 Going to hang that painting have board game night. 29 00:00:59,470 --> 00:01:00,600 You're welcome to join us, if you want. 30 00:01:00,930 --> 00:01:02,560 Board game night? 31 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:05,000 Board game night! 32 00:01:05,300 --> 00:01:06,640 Come on! 33 00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:08,540 Let's drink green beer. 34 00:01:08,630 --> 00:01:10,230 Let's do green jello shots 35 00:01:10,310 --> 00:01:11,350 Where is your st. patrick's 36 00:01:11,350 --> 00:01:12,340 Day spirits 37 00:01:12,340 --> 00:01:13,200 We're drinking green tea. 38 00:01:13,330 --> 00:01:14,940 With caffeine. 39 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:17,090 sorry,we're grown ups now, 40 00:01:17,090 --> 00:01:19,670 We can't fly up to neverland with you anymore 41 00:01:20,030 --> 00:01:22,510 All right, fine, 42 00:01:22,530 --> 00:01:24,870 You know what,I'll celebrate st. patrick's 43 00:01:24,870 --> 00:01:25,780 Day by myself. 44 00:01:25,780 --> 00:01:27,520 I don't need you people. 45 00:01:27,540 --> 00:01:29,440 You make me physically ill! 46 00:01:31,220 --> 00:01:32,540 He did look a little green. 47 00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:38,990 Hello? 48 00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:41,030 Hey. happy st. patty's day. 49 00:01:41,500 --> 00:01:43,590 How are you? I've been talking to you forever 50 00:01:43,590 --> 00:01:45,590 -Who is it? -it's ted's butt. 51 00:01:47,740 --> 00:01:50,220 Damn it!My phone keeps pocket dialing. 52 00:01:50,220 --> 00:01:51,520 That's like 8th times today. 53 00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:52,820 In fairness I did call 54 00:01:52,820 --> 00:01:54,900 Ted's butt about 2:00 this afternoon. 55 00:01:54,900 --> 00:01:57,730 Just long enough to call you back. 56 00:02:00,430 --> 00:02:01,150 Barney? 57 00:02:01,150 --> 00:02:01,820 Where are you. 58 00:02:01,820 --> 00:02:04,770 In a cab, heading downtown with our hot and 59 00:02:04,770 --> 00:02:06,170 Sexy dates for the evening. 60 00:02:06,170 --> 00:02:08,850 Yes, it happens that fast! 61 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:12,110 You're coming with us. 62 00:02:12,140 --> 00:02:13,500 For the last time. 63 00:02:13,510 --> 00:02:14,590 All right, 64 00:02:14,590 --> 00:02:15,480 I didn't want to tell you this 65 00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:16,360 in front of marshall and Lilly 66 00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:18,730 They are old and married and it's too late for them anyway 67 00:02:18,740 --> 00:02:21,010 but ted, the world is 68 00:02:21,020 --> 00:02:22,980 Going to come to an end tonight. 69 00:02:24,290 --> 00:02:25,450 Yes, think about it. 70 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:28,590 End of the world, Nostradamus£¬notre dame, 71 00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:29,790 Fighting irish. 72 00:02:29,790 --> 00:02:31,950 Irish, st. patrick's day. 73 00:02:31,950 --> 00:02:32,990 This is it, bro. 74 00:02:32,990 --> 00:02:34,250 bro 75 00:02:34,250 --> 00:02:35,120 Apocalypse now. 76 00:02:36,110 --> 00:02:37,340 bro?megandon 77 00:02:38,350 --> 00:02:40,340 You are young, you're single. 78 00:02:40,340 --> 00:02:41,040 You will have so much more 79 00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:41,680 Fun with me. 80 00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:42,860 Do you want to spend your 81 00:02:42,870 --> 00:02:44,700 Last night on earth playing 82 00:02:44,990 --> 00:02:46,620 Board games with marshall and lilly? 83 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:50,860 My hands smell weird. 84 00:02:50,860 --> 00:02:51,610 Smell this. 85 00:02:52,750 --> 00:02:54,820 They do, that's new. 86 00:02:55,310 --> 00:02:56,530 I'll be there in five minutes. 87 00:02:57,520 --> 00:03:00,240 Yes all right! 88 00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:00,980 He's in. 89 00:03:00,980 --> 00:03:02,180 Ted is a great guy. 90 00:03:05,620 --> 00:03:06,860 You're going to love him. 91 00:03:08,950 --> 00:03:12,170 So on march 17 2008, I went 92 00:03:12,180 --> 00:03:13,740 To a big st. patrick's day party. 93 00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:15,970 And it's a good thing I did 94 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:17,200 Because funny story, 95 00:03:18,130 --> 00:03:20,240 Your mother was there. 96 00:03:36,990 --> 00:03:38,500 Hi,have you med ted. 97 00:03:38,500 --> 00:03:39,610 Hi, I'm mary. 98 00:03:39,610 --> 00:03:41,410 Hi, happy st. patty's day. 99 00:03:41,570 --> 00:03:42,770 I haven't met ted either. 100 00:03:42,770 --> 00:03:44,000 -I'm stefanie. -Hi 101 00:03:44,770 --> 00:03:47,860 Dude, back off. I called this on stefanie. 102 00:03:47,860 --> 00:03:50,200 Okay, mary's hot . 103 00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:51,870 Well then I want mary. 104 00:03:52,370 --> 00:03:53,450 Fine. 105 00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:57,070 Oh, I see reverse psychology. 106 00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:58,280 Then I'm sticking with 107 00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:01,680 -Stefanie dr. frid. -Ok 108 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:02,790 Which one do you want more. 109 00:04:02,790 --> 00:04:03,290 Either one. 110 00:04:03,290 --> 00:04:04,060 I want them both. 111 00:04:04,070 --> 00:04:04,880 You're an idiot. 112 00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:06,690 It may be a moot point. 113 00:04:06,690 --> 00:04:09,460 It doesn't look like we're getting in. 114 00:04:09,460 --> 00:04:10,260 Look at this. 115 00:04:10,260 --> 00:04:11,050 You know why there's a line, 116 00:04:11,050 --> 00:04:12,660 it's because i ditched marshall and lilly 117 00:04:12,660 --> 00:04:13,800 And now the universe is 118 00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:15,810 Punishing us for it, that's why. 119 00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:23,860 What's it going to cost us 120 00:04:23,860 --> 00:04:25,080 To get in, $20? 121 00:04:25,080 --> 00:04:26,580 $40. 122 00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:28,730 Dude come on, you're making the we folk look bad. 123 00:04:28,730 --> 00:04:31,030 just give me your pot of gold. 124 00:04:31,330 --> 00:04:32,190 Is it just you two? 125 00:04:32,190 --> 00:04:34,570 Don't worry we're not gonna blow your race here. 126 00:04:34,570 --> 00:04:35,790 We happen to have two very hot girls with us. 127 00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:37,510 Mine is the hotter one. 128 00:04:38,620 --> 00:04:39,950 Sorry guys, if it was 129 00:04:39,950 --> 00:04:40,890 Just you two, you can go in 130 00:04:40,890 --> 00:04:41,820 Right now. 131 00:04:41,820 --> 00:04:43,140 We have nothing but girls in there. 132 00:04:43,490 --> 00:04:45,190 People will start thinking it's a lesbian bar 133 00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:49,360 Would you excuse us for just a minute? 134 00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:52,990 Ted I'm going to be honest 135 00:04:52,990 --> 00:04:54,750 I was full of it with 136 00:04:54,750 --> 00:04:55,740 that Nostradamus thing 137 00:04:55,740 --> 00:04:57,680 but I'm starting to think there's 138 00:04:57,680 --> 00:04:59,980 Serious planetary crap going on here tonight. 139 00:05:01,450 --> 00:05:02,820 Never in the history of new 140 00:05:02,820 --> 00:05:04,060 York city nightclub has 141 00:05:04,060 --> 00:05:06,310 There been a shortage of dudes. 142 00:05:06,310 --> 00:05:07,340 Not even during the great 143 00:05:07,340 --> 00:05:09,260 Dude shortage of 1883. 144 00:05:10,230 --> 00:05:11,200 We've got to ditch these girls. 145 00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:12,750 You dragged them all 146 00:05:12,750 --> 00:05:13,600 The way down here. 147 00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:15,330 I don't see no ring on this finger. 148 00:05:16,790 --> 00:05:17,460 Hold on. 149 00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:19,250 Excuse me. 150 00:05:19,250 --> 00:05:19,840 Are the girls in there 151 00:05:19,840 --> 00:05:21,160 Hotter than our dates? 152 00:05:22,380 --> 00:05:23,540 I don't know if they're hotter 153 00:05:23,540 --> 00:05:25,020 But they're drunker. 154 00:05:25,020 --> 00:05:25,770 Rock and roll. 155 00:05:30,190 --> 00:05:33,780 Welcome to your new dream home my lady. 156 00:05:34,930 --> 00:05:35,950 All right, all right. 157 00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:38,050 Put me down, robin thinks we're weird. 158 00:05:38,050 --> 00:05:39,550 No it's fine, 159 00:05:39,550 --> 00:05:43,790 it was only weird on the subway. 160 00:05:43,790 --> 00:05:45,410 I'm going to check the other rooms to see if 161 00:05:45,410 --> 00:05:48,610 The previous owners left us any free stuff. 162 00:05:48,610 --> 00:05:49,950 I'll hang our first piece of art, 163 00:05:50,990 --> 00:05:52,530 There's already a nail, 164 00:05:52,530 --> 00:05:53,570 hey lily, free nail! 165 00:05:53,670 --> 00:05:55,260 score! 166 00:05:58,560 --> 00:05:59,780 -How's that. -perfect. 167 00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:12,800 Now this is ridiculous 168 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:13,820 Is it the nail? 169 00:06:14,090 --> 00:06:16,500 -Marshall -Is the wall cookt crooked or something? 170 00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:19,460 -Marshall -Is there a draft in here. 171 00:06:19,460 --> 00:06:20,560 Marshall, 172 00:06:20,580 --> 00:06:21,340 what? 173 00:06:21,380 --> 00:06:22,740 Your apartment is crooked. 174 00:06:23,770 --> 00:06:24,480 What do you mean? 175 00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:30,380 It was the kind of thing 176 00:06:30,380 --> 00:06:33,370 You didn't notice Until you noticed it. 177 00:06:33,380 --> 00:06:35,170 and once you noticed it, you couldn't not notice it. 178 00:06:35,310 --> 00:06:36,410 Lilly an marshall's new apartment 179 00:06:36,410 --> 00:06:38,420 Was crooked. 180 00:06:41,450 --> 00:06:42,250 Oh, no! 181 00:06:42,860 --> 00:06:44,200 No, no! 182 00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:45,600 Oh,no, no!no, no! 183 00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:47,070 Yes. 184 00:06:47,070 --> 00:06:47,760 Are you telling me that 185 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:48,750 We just spend our entire 186 00:06:48,750 --> 00:06:51,780 Life saving on a crooked apartment? 187 00:06:51,780 --> 00:06:53,590 Oh my god 188 00:06:53,590 --> 00:06:55,310 Oh,she's gonna fret 189 00:06:55,710 --> 00:06:56,290 Look what I found in the 190 00:06:56,290 --> 00:06:58,580 Kids' room, free skateboard, 191 00:06:58,580 --> 00:06:59,580 Score one 192 00:06:59,790 --> 00:07:01,260 Free hungry, hungry hippo. 193 00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:03,140 Double score! 194 00:07:03,140 --> 00:07:03,940 I'm going to check the kitchen 195 00:07:04,810 --> 00:07:05,780 How can she not notice. 196 00:07:05,780 --> 00:07:08,280 It's like the last 20 minutes of titanic in here. 197 00:07:08,910 --> 00:07:10,360 We have keep this quiet, 198 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:13,500 If lilly finds out her dream house crooked 199 00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:14,260 It will break her heart. 200 00:07:15,900 --> 00:07:16,230 Free salad Strainer. 201 00:07:16,230 --> 00:07:19,100 I love this place 202 00:07:19,100 --> 00:07:20,640 Just for tonight, okay? 203 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:21,640 Ok 204 00:07:22,730 --> 00:07:24,280 It's going to be an uphill battle. 205 00:07:25,770 --> 00:07:27,190 I'm just saying we have to 206 00:07:27,190 --> 00:07:28,790 Think of the right angle. 207 00:07:30,710 --> 00:07:31,450 I have a third one but I'm 208 00:07:31,450 --> 00:07:32,300 Not going to say it. 209 00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:36,090 I think we've stumbled 210 00:07:36,090 --> 00:07:38,930 Into some sort of ethical Worm hole. 211 00:07:38,930 --> 00:07:40,030 -Green suit -yeah 212 00:07:40,030 --> 00:07:40,990 I ditched marshall and lilly 213 00:07:40,990 --> 00:07:43,430 And was rewarded with two beautiful girls. 214 00:07:43,430 --> 00:07:44,420 Suits made of green. 215 00:07:44,430 --> 00:07:46,840 We bailed on those two beautiful girls 216 00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:47,910 and now we're 217 00:07:47,910 --> 00:07:49,910 Being rewarded with a sea of Beautiful girls. 218 00:07:49,910 --> 00:07:50,860 38 long. 219 00:07:52,510 --> 00:07:53,120 Like the laws of the 220 00:07:53,120 --> 00:07:54,810 Universe are working in reverse. 221 00:07:54,810 --> 00:07:55,890 Can you put it on my tab. 222 00:07:55,890 --> 00:07:56,780 What's the last name. 223 00:07:56,780 --> 00:07:57,730 Guido. 224 00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:01,420 I'm going to try something to see if this works 225 00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:03,570 -hey -hey what kind of do you get? 226 00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:05,700 A bottle of dom perignon.Can you put it on my tab. 227 00:08:05,780 --> 00:08:06,410 What's your name. 228 00:08:06,770 --> 00:08:09,110 -Garido. -Dude 229 00:08:09,110 --> 00:08:11,260 you're right. make it two bottles 230 00:08:12,670 --> 00:08:14,080 Now we wait and see something good 231 00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:15,180 Oh,hello 232 00:08:15,180 --> 00:08:16,540 St. patrick's tradition 233 00:08:16,540 --> 00:08:18,130 If you're not wearing green, 234 00:08:18,130 --> 00:08:19,410 You have to get punished. 235 00:08:19,430 --> 00:08:21,110 well this is what i deserved 236 00:08:21,210 --> 00:08:22,440 I'm not wearing green either. 237 00:08:23,340 --> 00:08:26,330 This is deep teal the 238 00:08:26,330 --> 00:08:27,640 Lighting makes it. 239 00:08:27,660 --> 00:08:28,740 I'm Ted 240 00:08:28,740 --> 00:08:31,280 Asheley,with two Es 241 00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:33,270 please Cs at most. 242 00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:36,810 You guys can join me and friends.We have a bottle of Tequila 243 00:08:36,810 --> 00:08:39,320 and shockingly deep belly buttons. 244 00:08:41,100 --> 00:08:41,980 Okay, it's official, do 245 00:08:41,980 --> 00:08:43,420 Bad things, good things happen. 246 00:08:45,660 --> 00:08:47,780 Ted, listen, are you hearing that? 247 00:08:47,780 --> 00:08:48,810 That's the universe. 248 00:08:48,810 --> 00:08:50,580 The universe is talking to us. 249 00:08:51,090 --> 00:08:53,270 We don't have to build a baseball field, do we? 250 00:08:53,560 --> 00:08:55,100 No the universe is 251 00:08:55,100 --> 00:08:58,290 Telling us that we have a free pass tonight. 252 00:08:58,290 --> 00:08:59,860 The universe is saying that 253 00:08:59,860 --> 00:09:01,400 We don't have to live in 254 00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:03,360 Fear of the -- are you still there? 255 00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:04,310 Yeah, I'm still here. 256 00:09:04,310 --> 00:09:07,190 For the repercussions of our actions. 257 00:09:07,830 --> 00:09:09,560 There is no waiting for tomorrow 258 00:09:09,560 --> 00:09:11,630 because do you know why ted? 259 00:09:13,830 --> 00:09:16,490 There is no tomorrow. 260 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:18,700 No tomorrow, huh? 261 00:09:19,250 --> 00:09:20,390 By the way mr. garido, 262 00:09:20,790 --> 00:09:22,060 With your champagne you get 263 00:09:22,060 --> 00:09:23,770 A free complimentary caviar. 264 00:09:24,470 --> 00:09:25,390 Enjoy. 265 00:09:28,220 --> 00:09:30,790 Not tomorrow 266 00:09:31,220 --> 00:09:32,790 Not tomorrow 267 00:09:33,220 --> 00:09:33,790 Hey wonder what the 268 00:09:33,790 --> 00:09:35,010 Grown-ups are doing right now? 269 00:09:40,730 --> 00:09:41,750 I win again! 270 00:09:42,510 --> 00:09:43,740 Why do I keep winning? 271 00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:45,940 Maybe your hip spoe just 272 00:09:45,940 --> 00:09:47,870 Hungrier than ours. 273 00:09:47,870 --> 00:09:50,730 That's it.That's what is.It's not gravity 274 00:09:50,730 --> 00:09:51,890 that's for sure. I'll tell you that. 275 00:09:54,350 --> 00:09:55,250 What's that? 276 00:10:00,550 --> 00:10:01,530 What's going on here? 277 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:05,130 Okay, lilly. 278 00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:07,220 While you were in the other 279 00:10:07,220 --> 00:10:09,790 Room, robin and I 280 00:10:09,790 --> 00:10:12,170 We discovered something about this apartment 281 00:10:12,170 --> 00:10:12,860 It's not a big deal. 282 00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:14,600 It's not like a disaster, 283 00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:16,180 It's just something that 284 00:10:16,180 --> 00:10:18,030 We're going to have to learn to live with. 285 00:10:22,260 --> 00:10:24,460 Robin and I saw a ghost. 286 00:10:25,130 --> 00:10:26,000 What? 287 00:10:26,870 --> 00:10:27,980 He's kidding, right? 288 00:10:28,450 --> 00:10:30,450 No, we really saw a ghost. 289 00:10:31,190 --> 00:10:32,140 What did it look like? 290 00:10:33,290 --> 00:10:36,320 A sheet with two holes 291 00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:39,300 He was a Confederate general 292 00:10:39,300 --> 00:10:40,410 Who was wounded at the battle of Antietam 293 00:10:40,410 --> 00:10:42,150 and died at the army 294 00:10:42,150 --> 00:10:45,830 Hospital which once stood on this very spot 295 00:10:46,380 --> 00:10:47,120 And now he wanders these halls 296 00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:51,520 vowing revenge against the union he once failed in 297 00:10:52,430 --> 00:10:54,210 But he seems nice. good guy. 298 00:10:55,850 --> 00:10:57,130 You see ghosts everywhere. 299 00:10:57,130 --> 00:10:59,040 You see ghosts at starbucks. 300 00:11:00,020 --> 00:11:01,760 That kenny g holiday cd 301 00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:03,670 Just flew off the shelf. 302 00:11:03,670 --> 00:11:04,710 Last time that happened. 303 00:11:06,050 --> 00:11:07,940 Robin you're a skeptic so if 304 00:11:07,940 --> 00:11:10,840 You say you saw a ghost,. 305 00:11:12,730 --> 00:11:13,240 It passed right 306 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:14,870 Through me and suddenly i 307 00:11:14,870 --> 00:11:16,260 Felt cold. 308 00:11:16,260 --> 00:11:17,820 So very coal. cold. 309 00:11:21,780 --> 00:11:24,060 You know ashley, you 310 00:11:24,060 --> 00:11:24,900 Probably just want to get up 311 00:11:24,900 --> 00:11:26,230 And walk away but I just 312 00:11:26,230 --> 00:11:27,090 Have to test out this theory 313 00:11:27,090 --> 00:11:28,120 I've been working on. 314 00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:31,220 Tonight, I'm not looking for 315 00:11:31,220 --> 00:11:32,070 A relationship. 316 00:11:32,070 --> 00:11:33,940 I really just want to hook 317 00:11:33,940 --> 00:11:34,750 Up with you, leave before 318 00:11:34,750 --> 00:11:36,200 Breakfast and never see you again. 319 00:11:39,100 --> 00:11:40,010 I'm in. 320 00:11:40,580 --> 00:11:41,830 Unbelievable. 321 00:11:44,140 --> 00:11:45,830 Hot damn, that's a deep naval! 322 00:11:46,740 --> 00:11:47,980 No tomorrow ted! 323 00:11:47,980 --> 00:11:49,310 No tomorrow barney. 324 00:11:50,660 --> 00:11:51,870 No tomorrow, huh? 325 00:11:52,680 --> 00:11:54,030 I like that idea. 326 00:11:54,900 --> 00:11:56,140 Because if there is a tomorrow, 327 00:11:56,140 --> 00:11:58,030 I'm going to be in 328 00:11:58,030 --> 00:11:59,710 A lot of trouble. 329 00:12:00,530 --> 00:12:01,340 Why is that? 330 00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:02,880 I'm married. 331 00:12:06,500 --> 00:12:07,730 Tell me you're messing 332 00:12:07,730 --> 00:12:08,500 With me guys. 333 00:12:08,500 --> 00:12:09,700 You didn't actually see a ghost 334 00:12:09,700 --> 00:12:12,120 it's not a big deal baby. 335 00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:13,150 He seemed friendly. 336 00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:15,270 You said he's a Confederate general, 337 00:12:15,370 --> 00:12:16,460 they're the bad guys. 338 00:12:16,460 --> 00:12:18,200 And he's probably racist! 339 00:12:19,170 --> 00:12:20,390 He seems polite. 340 00:12:20,390 --> 00:12:22,720 He has courtly southern manners. 341 00:12:23,570 --> 00:12:25,170 How can we bring our kids here. 342 00:12:25,170 --> 00:12:29,280 I don't want a confederate general ghost teach them racism! 343 00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:32,450 He loves people of all colors and creeds. 344 00:12:32,450 --> 00:12:34,520 He was fighting for state rights.That's all. 345 00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:35,570 You have said he was wearing a sheet, 346 00:12:35,570 --> 00:12:37,720 what do you think that means? 347 00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:39,410 The apartment is crooked! 348 00:12:40,950 --> 00:12:41,760 What? 349 00:12:44,110 --> 00:12:44,670 Robin and i 350 00:12:45,170 --> 00:12:46,480 Didn't see a ghost. 351 00:12:49,830 --> 00:12:51,650 The floor is crooked, isn't it? 352 00:12:52,660 --> 00:12:53,780 Yeah. 353 00:12:54,900 --> 00:12:55,690 We spent our entire 354 00:12:55,690 --> 00:12:58,180 Life savings on this particular. 355 00:12:58,180 --> 00:13:00,640 The next 30 mortgage paying 356 00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:02,020 Years of our lives will be 357 00:13:02,020 --> 00:13:05,100 Spent on a floor an it's crooked! 358 00:13:12,390 --> 00:13:14,430 Thanks a lot, robin. 359 00:13:16,410 --> 00:13:17,570 How is racist 360 00:13:17,570 --> 00:13:19,570 Ghost bear than crooked? 361 00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:22,940 Someone tell me how that's better. 362 00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:27,230 Oh, I'm sorry. 363 00:13:27,230 --> 00:13:28,960 That's okay. 364 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:32,630 So I'm having second thoughts about that theory. 365 00:13:32,630 --> 00:13:34,300 I'm telling you if you want to know how old a woman 366 00:13:34,300 --> 00:13:35,530 Is check her elbows. 367 00:13:35,530 --> 00:13:36,700 Not that theory. 368 00:13:36,700 --> 00:13:38,330 You have to be More specific,ted 369 00:13:38,330 --> 00:13:40,330 Because I have so many theories. 370 00:13:40,330 --> 00:13:41,760 The whole do bad,good things happen. 371 00:13:41,760 --> 00:13:44,000 Asheley is married. 372 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:44,830 So? 373 00:13:44,830 --> 00:13:46,200 What do you mean so? 374 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:48,530 Open your brain tank, 375 00:13:48,530 --> 00:13:52,900 Because here come fromPremium 91 octane knowledge. 376 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,300 There's three rules of cheating. 377 00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:56,300 It's not cheating if you're not the one whose married. 378 00:13:56,300 --> 00:13:59,830 It's not cheating if her name has two adjacent vowels 379 00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:02,080 And it's not cheating if she's in a different area code. 380 00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:03,570 You're fine on all three counts. 381 00:14:03,940 --> 00:14:05,450 How do you know she's from a different area code. 382 00:14:05,450 --> 00:14:07,510 She's 516 383 00:14:07,940 --> 00:14:10,730 She may dress like 718,she might act like 212 384 00:14:10,830 --> 00:14:13,430 But trust me,she is 516 385 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:14,200 Oh and her husband 386 00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:17,490 Letting her out alone on st.Patty's day 387 00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:20,030 if that guy is not 973, I'm 307. 388 00:14:21,730 --> 00:14:22,730 Wyoming. 389 00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:29,220 Maybe we can nail down all our furniture. 390 00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:32,380 We won't be able to get a pinball machine. 391 00:14:32,410 --> 00:14:35,290 Unless we put a book under two of the legs or something. 392 00:14:35,660 --> 00:14:37,730 But if we wanna read those books.this is a nightmare. 393 00:14:38,630 --> 00:14:40,210 Can't raise our kids here. 394 00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:41,620 They will grow up slanted. 395 00:14:41,620 --> 00:14:43,160 If we have a daughter, 396 00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:45,410 we have to call her ilene. 397 00:14:46,500 --> 00:14:48,010 I don't think we can live here marshall. 398 00:14:49,850 --> 00:14:50,710 I don't know what we're gonna to do. 399 00:14:51,630 --> 00:14:52,730 Marshall? 400 00:14:54,020 --> 00:14:55,020 Open the door. 401 00:15:05,820 --> 00:15:06,920 If I make to it the door 402 00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:08,320 That's five points. 403 00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:11,310 Woo-hoo! 404 00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:13,680 Yeah! 405 00:15:14,980 --> 00:15:16,390 Five points. 406 00:15:16,390 --> 00:15:18,590 10 bucks says I can do it backwards. 407 00:15:18,590 --> 00:15:20,100 So lilly and marshall 408 00:15:20,100 --> 00:15:23,120 Decided to make the best of A bad situation 409 00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:27,290 and that's also how the apartment roller luge was invented. 410 00:15:27,290 --> 00:15:29,550 Very careful,very,oh, yeah! 411 00:15:30,450 --> 00:15:31,620 So she's married. 412 00:15:31,620 --> 00:15:32,450 Not like she has kid. 413 00:15:32,710 --> 00:15:34,430 How do you know? 414 00:15:34,450 --> 00:15:36,690 Wrist!It's like you don't even listen to me. 415 00:15:39,190 --> 00:15:40,130 Oh, hey. 416 00:15:40,130 --> 00:15:40,820 Hey. 417 00:15:40,820 --> 00:15:41,450 Where did you go. 418 00:15:42,270 --> 00:15:43,200 Well, I just. 419 00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:43,950 Was it something I said. 420 00:15:43,950 --> 00:15:45,850 No,no,no,it's just... 421 00:15:45,850 --> 00:15:47,270 Well, you're married and 422 00:15:47,270 --> 00:15:49,990 We've been drinking and i was worried we might... 423 00:15:50,690 --> 00:15:53,110 This is a very bad idea. 424 00:15:55,510 --> 00:15:56,810 We have a problem 425 00:15:56,810 --> 00:15:58,530 Hey, hey, hey. 426 00:16:00,450 --> 00:16:02,280 Is this your husband. 427 00:16:02,280 --> 00:16:04,100 I've never seen him in my life 428 00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:06,200 Ok,what's our problem 429 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:07,790 Rick,Rick garido 430 00:16:07,790 --> 00:16:09,230 According to the bar tenor 431 00:16:09,230 --> 00:16:10,480 I'm the guy who has been 432 00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:12,290 Buying you shall pain all night 433 00:16:12,590 --> 00:16:15,030 Ok,there's a very simple explanation 434 00:16:16,730 --> 00:16:18,090 The next thing I know is the police show up, 435 00:16:18,090 --> 00:16:19,030 They arrest the other guy 436 00:16:19,030 --> 00:16:21,370 and I'm drinking for free the rest of the night 437 00:16:21,700 --> 00:16:22,790 It was awesome 438 00:16:24,790 --> 00:16:25,880 Awesome? 439 00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:27,160 Yeah 440 00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:30,480 You don't see anything wrong with that story 441 00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:33,420 Well I lost my phone in the club somewhere 442 00:16:33,490 --> 00:16:34,490 What the hell is wrong with you,dude? 443 00:16:36,180 --> 00:16:37,270 I lose things 444 00:16:37,270 --> 00:16:39,690 You kissed a married woman ted 445 00:16:39,690 --> 00:16:42,180 You committed credit card fraud 446 00:16:42,180 --> 00:16:43,600 You kissed a married woman 447 00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:46,290 Do you know how offensive that is to me? 448 00:16:46,690 --> 00:16:47,870 You're turning into barney 449 00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:49,190 We don't need another barney 450 00:16:52,090 --> 00:16:54,150 It's st. patty's day! 451 00:16:54,630 --> 00:16:56,350 It wasn't as bad as it sounds 452 00:16:56,350 --> 00:16:57,410 It wasn't as bad as it sounds? 453 00:16:57,930 --> 00:16:58,920 Huh? okay. 454 00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:00,290 I want you to hear exactly 455 00:17:00,290 --> 00:17:02,450 How it sounds ted 456 00:17:03,670 --> 00:17:04,500 First skipped message 457 00:17:04,500 --> 00:17:06,240 I don't see no ring on this finger 458 00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:07,370 And then last night 459 00:17:07,370 --> 00:17:08,760 Started coming back to me 460 00:17:09,490 --> 00:17:10,080 The real version 461 00:17:10,580 --> 00:17:13,330 Are the girls this there hotter than our dates? 462 00:17:13,330 --> 00:17:15,000 I don't know if they're hotter, 463 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:17,540 but they're drunker. 464 00:17:17,540 --> 00:17:18,740 Rock and roll! 465 00:17:22,630 --> 00:17:24,340 -How many messages did I... -17 466 00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:27,380 Kids it's sometimes 467 00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:29,850 Possible you're doing just fine in life 468 00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:31,280 Next message 469 00:17:31,490 --> 00:17:32,580 Can you put it on my tab? 470 00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:34,060 Sir, what's the last name? 471 00:17:34,710 --> 00:17:35,390 Garido. 472 00:17:36,290 --> 00:17:39,000 And then someone opens your eyes a bit 473 00:17:39,570 --> 00:17:41,200 And then you realize 474 00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:41,940 Next message 475 00:17:41,940 --> 00:17:42,840 I really want to hook up with you 476 00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:44,000 Leave before breakfast an 477 00:17:44,990 --> 00:17:46,540 Never see you again 478 00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:48,500 Your whole world is off balance 479 00:17:48,990 --> 00:17:49,970 Next message 480 00:17:50,730 --> 00:17:52,530 out of whack 481 00:17:52,630 --> 00:17:56,070 Ok,look,bro,there's a very simple explanation 482 00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:57,010 Crooked 483 00:18:03,110 --> 00:18:04,990 That was hard to listen to 484 00:18:06,310 --> 00:18:07,230 No one sounds good in answerign machine 485 00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:12,350 Thanks for doing that 486 00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:16,640 You yelled at me 487 00:18:17,340 --> 00:18:18,370 You got very firm with me 488 00:18:19,060 --> 00:18:19,820 Very confident 489 00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:21,400 It was cool 490 00:18:21,830 --> 00:18:22,580 Thanks 491 00:18:22,580 --> 00:18:24,630 You're very sexy when you yell marshall 492 00:18:24,650 --> 00:18:26,340 Shut up 493 00:18:26,340 --> 00:18:27,890 Crazy muscles in your neck 494 00:18:28,550 --> 00:18:30,630 You're like the kentucky derby,winning streaks 495 00:18:30,630 --> 00:18:31,830 You're ruining our last moment 496 00:18:31,830 --> 00:18:34,180 At one point I thought we were going to kiss 497 00:18:34,470 --> 00:18:35,360 Ted seriously 498 00:18:36,090 --> 00:18:38,230 I'm married 499 00:18:40,530 --> 00:18:41,830 A slanted floor 500 00:18:41,830 --> 00:18:42,890 Architecturally speaking 501 00:18:42,890 --> 00:18:43,790 Fixing that will be 502 00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:44,690 Very very 503 00:18:44,690 --> 00:18:46,390 Very expensive 504 00:18:46,390 --> 00:18:49,990 And it's going to take some time too 505 00:18:49,990 --> 00:18:51,160 So, looks like you're stuck with us for a 506 00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:51,960 Little while longer if 507 00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:52,990 That's okay 508 00:18:52,990 --> 00:18:53,830 Are you kidding? 509 00:18:53,830 --> 00:18:54,860 I love it 510 00:18:54,860 --> 00:18:57,510 I don't know what's going to happen without you guys around 511 00:18:57,540 --> 00:18:59,130 Where are you going 512 00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:01,900 I'm going to get my stupid phone 513 00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:05,240 So that was st. patrick's day 2008 514 00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:08,090 I find out years later that your mom was at that party 515 00:19:08,390 --> 00:19:09,730 I just didn't meet her 516 00:19:10,420 --> 00:19:11,840 It's a good thing I didn't 517 00:19:11,940 --> 00:19:13,250 Because if I had, I don't 518 00:19:13,250 --> 00:19:15,070 Think she would have liked me 519 00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:17,080 In fact I don't think I like me 520 00:19:17,340 --> 00:19:18,590 But that's okay 521 00:19:18,670 --> 00:19:21,020 Tomorrow had arrived 522 00:19:56,620 --> 00:19:59,690 You see I didn't know it yet, 523 00:19:59,690 --> 00:20:01,890 But my luck was about to change 524 00:20:24,990 --> 00:20:26,990 I'm awesome!