1
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Previously on In Treatment.

2
00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:14,632
- Yeah, I don't think I can do this.
- Do what?

3
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This therapy, I...

4
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- I just don't think it's leading anywhere, it's...
- Where do you want it to lead?

5
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Someplace where I feel less shitty
about myself. (Sighs)

6
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I got a call from my wing commander.
He's trying to figure out if I'm ready,

7
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for active duty.

8
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- What do you think?
- No, I don't think you're ready.

9
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(Paul) Oh.

10
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Well, I feel like I should salute you.

11
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At ease, Doc.

12
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This is gonna be my last time,
for a while anyway.

13
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I'm here to settle up.
And I need something from you.

14
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Mm.

15
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- Would you like some coffee?
- Sure.

16
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I know I'm not giving you any notice.

17
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- You want me to pay for the next session too?
- No, that's fine.

18
00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:33,318
- Sorry the gravy train is ending here.
- That's OK.

19
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- So why are you leaving?
- I got you curious, huh?

20
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Remember I told you
my squadron commander called me?

21
00:01:38,960 --> 00:01:39,949
Mm-hm.

22
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Last week they brought me in.
I thought they'd ease me back in, but no.

23
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They need me to train the new pilots for their
deployment, get them ready to fly ASAP.

24
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- Always playing catch-up in this war.
- What did you say to them?

25
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I said, "Fuck you!
I'm 39 years old, in the prime of my life

26
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"and one of the most decorated
fighter pilots in the navy.

27
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"You're not putting me out to pasture,
not during a war.

28
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- "Get yourself another boy."
- That's what you said to them?

29
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Well, not really, but...
but I thought it.

30
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Actually what I said was,
"Yes, sir. However I can be of service."

31
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And I reported for duty the next day.

32
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You think I'm crazy?
I can only get away with that bullshit with you.

33
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(Chuckles) At least we know why you come.

34
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Mm.

35
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- So what's it like being back at base?
- Ah, it's been a real trip.

36
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Most of these guys are out of TOPGUN,
cocky as hell.

37
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They look in my eyes,
they know I've been places

38
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they couldn't conjure up
in their worst nightmares.

39
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Makes them think twice before fucking with me.

40
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Mm.

41
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So, training young pilots,
is that something you can see yourself doing?

44
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No way these kids are gonna be ready
for combat missions in a month. It's crazy.

45
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I'm taking them through situations.
Some of them do better than others,

46
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but when you're up in the air,
it's read and react. Like a machine.

47
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Split-second decisions that can cost
thousands of lives, including their own.

48
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Most of these kids, they look at me
on the simulators and they're like, "Whoa!"

49
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- Well, they're blown away.
- That must feel really great.

50
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I overheard some kids
talking shit about me,

51
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that I might be good on the simulators

52
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but they'd kick my ass on the obstacle course.
Called me "old man".

53
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Well, hey, I called their bluff.
Check this out - the drill is called the gauntlet.

54
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It's a five-mile run
through dense woods and sand traps

55
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and rope-and-barrier hurdles,
balance beams and a maze.

56
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Now after all that, there's the helo-dunker.

57
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Now the helo-dunker is like this giant...

58
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it looks like a beer can.
It's basically a crash simulator.

59
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We hit the water hard,
upside down, strapped in tight.

60
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And we have to get out
with almost no oxygen.

61
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We're in full gear, helmet, spacesuit,

62
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G-suit, gloves, the whole nine yards.

63
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There are four immersions.

64
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The last two, the water's dark.
It's like a night landing.

65
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A lot of these kids, they get disoriented
and start flipping the fuck out.

66
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So we have to rescue them.

67
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It's tough.

68
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It separates the men from the boys,
let me tell you.

69
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So, Doc, how do you think I did?

70
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(Chuckles)

71
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- Do I really have to guess, Alex?
- (Laughs)

72
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Touché.

73
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I never panic.

74
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I'm at home down there in the dark,
swimming for my life.

75
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And not only
did I beat all their asses,

76
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I came within two seconds of a base record.

77
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Not bad for a broken-down old pilot, huh?

78
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- Huh? Come on, Paul.
- (Chuckles)

79
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OK, so my squadron commander
calls me back up to his office.

80
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This time all the brass were there

81
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and they want to know
if I'm interested in active duty.

82
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If I am, I have to go through
a modified basic training at Pensacola,

83
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a battery of tests, physical, psychological...
just to make sure I've recovered.

84
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So I said, "Bring it on, baby!
I'm ready for anything!"

85
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Are you surprised?

86
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,631
Well, a little, I guess.
I, um...

87
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I shouldn't be,
but I suppose it was always a possibility.

88
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But you think it's too fast, right?

89
00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:17,272
Do you think it's too fast?

90
00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:25,838
Doc, you have no idea
how good it feels to be useful again.

91
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I think that's been the real problem.

92
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I've been sitting around
feeling sorry for myself.

93
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I'm a doer, not a talker, so all of this,
that's over. Those days are over.

94
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So, here's what I need from you -
you'll get a call from one of your compatriots.

95
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A navy doctor named Connell.
He's gonna be checking up on me.

96
00:05:42,360 --> 00:05:45,830
You said you're seeing me?
I thought that was professional suicide.

97
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Yeah, they caught wind
that I had left the house

98
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and they wanted to know
if it was to do with the bombing.

99
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I told them I'd been doing
some counselling with you.

100
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My marriage...
And that I was fit as a fiddle.

101
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- Do you feel fit as a fiddle?
- Don't fuck with me on this.

102
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You're talking about my career now.
Just tell him all good things.

103
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The navy can't afford to have someone like me
just pissing around. Tell him I'm ready.

104
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- Let's talk about whether you are ready or not.
- Cut the crap! I need this.

105
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You're putting me
in a very difficult position, Alex.

106
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We talked about a lot more than Michaela.

107
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You don't expect me to lie, do you?

108
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OK, physically I'm fine.
I had the heart attack almost four months ago.

109
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All the cardiologists say that... They're
amazed at my recovery. I can handle it.

110
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But what about emotionally?

111
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Can you imagine yourself back in an aeroplane
flying a mission after what happened?

112
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Are you talking about the madrasah?

113
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The madrasah is the crisis
that brought you here in the first place.

114
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Are you sure that you're ready
to put yourself in that kind of a situation again?

115
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No, listen.
Terrorists hide among civilians.

116
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It's a common tactic. It's their fault
if there's collateral damage, not ours.

117
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They're putting
their women and children at risk.

118
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Let's put aside the question
of who's at fault or... or who isn't.

119
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Could you live with yourself if you were
responsible for more civilian casualties?

120
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:07,709
That's bullshit.

121
00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:10,672
Alex, you gave yourself a heart attack
a few months ago.

122
00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:15,350
Can you honestly tell me that you're not scared
that your guilt will lead to...

123
00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:18,358
Guilt is not an issue
for a pilot in a time of war.

124
00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:21,836
- We're not trained to think that way.
- I'm not asking what you think.

125
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I'm asking you to tell me what you feel.

126
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- And I'm telling you it doesn't matter.
- (Low buzz)

127
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Let me just see who this is. Sorry.

128
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(Alex sighs, beep)

129
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(Alex) Hey.

130
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It went fine.

131
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Yeah, they did ask me.

132
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No.

133
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No, I can't talk about that right now.
Can I call you back?

134
00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:54,151
Michaela, let me go, all right?
I'm with somebody right now.

135
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Yeah, I will.

136
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Yeah, bye.

137
00:07:58,760 --> 00:07:59,829
Sorry.

138
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She wanted to know how the meeting
with the brass went.

139
00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:06,554
You know, she's totally obsessed
with me flying again. You know that.

140
00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:09,114
Why do you think
she's so anxious for you to fly again?

141
00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:12,755
Well, my little sabbatical
upset her sense of order.

142
00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:16,793
If it was a couple of weeks, it would be all right.
I was taking a break, whatever.

143
00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:21,595
I told you we were having dinner to discuss me
coming back home? Well, the heat is on.

144
00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:25,792
I don't think I can fight it any longer.
Plus, it's what everybody wants.

145
00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:27,034
Everyone?

146
00:08:27,560 --> 00:08:31,348
Everybody. My father.
He and Michaela, they're united in everything.

147
00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:34,631
Why is your father so anxious
for you to fly again?

148
00:08:35,680 --> 00:08:38,353
Well, there's nothing deep behind it, Paul.

149
00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:40,960
He thinks I need to get back to my job.
It's what a man does.

150
00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:43,150
- Mm-hm.
- And he's right.

151
00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:46,317
Can you tell me
how you got to that conclusion?

152
00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:47,475
(Laughs)

153
00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:50,717
- Are you sure you have time for that?
- We've got plenty of time.

154
00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:52,955
This is something we need to talk about,

155
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:56,879
especially if you're trying
to push me for an assessment.

156
00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:03,036
It's hot as hell in here.

157
00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:12,037
Um...

158
00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:16,355
We had a party for my son,

159
00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:18,391
a birthday party.

160
00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:23,356
And everything became clear. Mm.

161
00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:27,389
I told you my son Roy is a special kid.

162
00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:30,273
Have I told you that?
He doesn't seem to need friends.

163
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:33,676
So, when we asked him what kind of party
he wanted, he said only family.

164
00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:37,713
I supported that. I didn't want to force him
to be anything he isn't.

165
00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:41,719
So all the uncles and aunts came and cousins
and everybody was in a good mood.

166
00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:44,991
My dad, he got there early.
He's setting up everything

167
00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:48,749
and acting like he owns the place,
ordering my wife around.

168
00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:51,519
I could tell
he had been there a lot since I left.

169
00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:53,551
And the bitch he married was there too,

170
00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:56,717
in the kitchen cooking
as if my mother never existed.

171
00:09:56,760 --> 00:10:02,153
It made me feel like shit, like a...
a stranger in my own home.

172
00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:06,999
My father sees me
and he gives me one of those cold smiles.

173
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:09,600
"Alex, nice of you to make it."

174
00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:15,915
I could tell he had a wild hare up his ass
about something.

175
00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:17,359
But I didn't ask,

176
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cos when he wants to share, he shares,
and then he's all over me.

177
00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:23,473
And I'm in no rush to get there.

178
00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:27,798
But he is great with Roy, though.
They... they connect.

179
00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:30,434
Somehow. It's easy for them.

180
00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:33,916
Did you feel
like you weren't connecting with Roy?

181
00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:39,668
There were a lot of people there.
We didn't have much time alone.

182
00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:42,518
Mm. Have you seen a lot of him
since you left home?

183
00:10:42,560 --> 00:10:46,553
Once, twice.
I don't know what you consider a lot.

184
00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:50,479
Did he ever ask
why you weren't living at home any more?

185
00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:54,115
Yeah. I told him that his dad
was on a special mission.

186
00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:56,799
I mean, I'm gone half the time.
He's used to it.

187
00:10:56,840 --> 00:10:59,798
To tell you the truth,
I think it's been a relief for him.

188
00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:03,753
Why would it be a relief
for his dad to be away?

189
00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:08,633
He was loose as hell at the party.

190
00:11:08,680 --> 00:11:12,195
He's running around, playing with his cousins,
talking to everybody.

191
00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:14,390
You should have seen him.
A different person.

192
00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:16,237
He was open, he was outgoing.

193
00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:18,271
It's like he bloomed in my absence.

194
00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:21,198
Well, not bloomed.
Jeez, he's not a fucking flower.

195
00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:23,629
It's like he spread his wings.

196
00:11:23,680 --> 00:11:25,830
Yeah, that's what it was like.

197
00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:28,314
Maybe he was happy
because you were there,

198
00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:31,033
maybe because
he was just glad to see you.

199
00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:34,349
It's interesting when you talk about flying

200
00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:39,110
because you make no bones whatsoever
about the fact that the navy really needs you,

201
00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:41,151
that they can't do it without you.

202
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:43,714
Yet when it comes to talking about your son...

203
00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:45,716
Paul, slow the fuck down.

204
00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:49,639
The boy was having a great day
before I ever got there.

205
00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:51,910
Is it possible that you're projecting

206
00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:54,679
your own feelings about your father
onto your son?

207
00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:58,110
- How do you mean?
- That you might be doing better yourself,

208
00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:00,628
spreading your wings too
if he wasn't there,

209
00:12:00,680 --> 00:12:03,797
if he wasn't in your way, so to speak.

210
00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:08,391
No, Doc, my being there
didn't make the kid happy that day.

211
00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:10,351
Just the opposite in fact.

212
00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:12,755
How? What happened?

213
00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:16,957
I told you Roy was obsessed
with chess, right?

214
00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:19,597
I got him this magnificent set.

215
00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:23,553
It was all ivory, imported from Nairobi,
just a real work of art.

216
00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:26,478
He just looked at the pieces,
mesmerised.

217
00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:28,272
But that was only half of the gift.

218
00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:31,437
The other half was that I had been working
on my own chess game

219
00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:34,119
and I was gonna play my boy.

220
00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:37,232
So we sat down at the chessboard.
Everybody's watching.

221
00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:40,832
I thought I'd open with something simple.

222
00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:44,759
The King's Indian, which is where
you establish your pawns in the centre.

223
00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:48,918
Then he moved, and I countered.
And he moved again. I countered again.

224
00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:53,397
And we're moving along at this real nice clip
and I think I'm holding my own.

225
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,431
And then... (Sighs)

226
00:12:57,040 --> 00:13:00,476
I'll never forget it.
He looked up suddenly

227
00:13:00,520 --> 00:13:02,829
and it was like a shadow fell over his face.

228
00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:07,635
And he stood up from the table and he said,

229
00:13:07,680 --> 00:13:10,399
"I'm not feeling well.
I don't want to play."

230
00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:16,673
He goes up to his bedroom.
I follow him up the stairs. I knock on the door.

231
00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:19,518
He doesn't answer.
I crack the door open and I see him.

232
00:13:19,560 --> 00:13:22,438
He's sitting at his desk.
He's got his back to me.

233
00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:26,758
I don't know if he heard me.
I was about to say something, but I didn't.

234
00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:30,793
I just stood there
and I stared at the back of his head.

235
00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:35,673
Something about him,
I don't know what it was.

236
00:13:37,880 --> 00:13:40,235
It broke my heart.

237
00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:45,676
Then I heard these footsteps
and I turn around and it's my father.

238
00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:48,871
And he says,
"You know why he quit, don't you?"

239
00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:50,319
I shook my head.

240
00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:54,035
And he gives me that look,
that look that sees right through you.

241
00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:58,073
He says, "He knew in three moves, Alex,
you were gonna lose.

242
00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:02,196
"He didn't want to beat his father
in front of the whole family.

243
00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:04,151
"He felt sorry for you."

244
00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:06,599
Do you think he was right?

245
00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:10,792
I know he was right.
That's my son to a T.

246
00:14:11,280 --> 00:14:14,750
And then my father, he pulls me into a room
and he just ripped into me.

247
00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:16,711
He says, "You are pathetic.

248
00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:21,754
"One thing goes wrong in your little cushy life
and you turn soft as butter."

249
00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:25,110
He didn't understand
why I wasn't eager to fly again

250
00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:27,754
or why I was away from home
doing God knows what

251
00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:29,711
with God knows who
like a fucking teenager.

252
00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:31,990
He says, "You disappoint me, boy.

253
00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:34,952
"I raised you to be stronger than that,
to be a man."

254
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:38,231
And he wanted to know
who put all these ideas in my head.

255
00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:43,229
Who turned me into a... What did... Who
turned me into a "selfish, whining little bitch."

256
00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:45,396
Was it the fags I was hanging around with?

257
00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:49,274
Or was it, and this one he really seized on,
was it the shrink?

258
00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:51,515
How would he know
you were seeing a shrink?

259
00:14:51,560 --> 00:14:54,472
- Michaela told him.
- You told her?

260
00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:56,511
(Sighs) Yeah, I had to.

261
00:14:57,280 --> 00:15:00,192
I've been paying you cash
to avoid a paper trail.

262
00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:03,755
But that means I've been withdrawing
from ATMs all the time.

263
00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:08,749
Michaela looks at the bank statements and
wanted to know where the money was going.

264
00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:11,917
Anyway, I told her
I've been consulting with someone

265
00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:14,952
about my thoughts,
and that was the word, "thoughts".

266
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:17,719
My thoughts about me and her.

267
00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:22,117
And did you get into that,
your thoughts about, uh, the two of you?

268
00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:23,673
No, she shut down.

269
00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:26,837
So anyway, listen. My father...

270
00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:28,757
Yeah, he gives me this whole earful.

271
00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:32,076
He goes downstairs and, oh, man...

272
00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:37,796
I felt like I had been hit by a freight train.

273
00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:45,669
I locked myself in the bathroom
and I sat there

274
00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:49,190
so I could just... just catch my breath.

275
00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:58,434
And when I finally got my shit together
I went back downstairs, and...

276
00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:01,756
And everybody
was around the chessboard again

277
00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:04,792
watching another match,
including Michaela and...

278
00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:09,316
And you know what it was?
It was my father...

279
00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:13,592
and my son locked in this epic battle,
matching each other move for move.

280
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:18,236
Totally out of my league.
And everyone's oohing and ahhing and they...

281
00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:22,193
they didn't even notice
that I was there.

282
00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:32,790
What was it about Roy that broke your heart
when you were watching him in his room?

283
00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:35,916
Uhh...

284
00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:37,951
He seemed so...

285
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:41,474
vulnerable, somehow.

286
00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:44,432
Vulnerable to what?

287
00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:46,675
I don't know, really, um...

288
00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:50,071
Everything...

289
00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:53,151
Forces, expectations,

290
00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:57,398
stuff coming at him that...
he can't control,

291
00:16:57,440 --> 00:16:59,237
I can't control.

292
00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:07,553
So... I slipped out of the house...

293
00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:09,238
without anyone knowing.

294
00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:12,238
- It was for the better.
- For whom?

295
00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:14,589
For my boy.

296
00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:19,552
Do you really think that your son
is better off without his father on his birthday?

297
00:17:20,360 --> 00:17:22,749
Yeah, I do.

298
00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:27,915
After that I got in my car and I drove...

299
00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:30,793
drove and drove, fast.

300
00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:33,957
And when I finally ran out of gas
it was after dark.

301
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:39,120
I wound up at this bar
that Sean and Daniel had taken me to.

302
00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:42,391
And I started to drink hard,

303
00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:45,716
looking at all the faggots prancing around.

304
00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:50,708
I felt like knocking somebody's teeth
down their fucking throat.

305
00:17:53,120 --> 00:17:56,396
But nobody came near me.
They didn't even look at me.

306
00:17:56,440 --> 00:18:00,433
It was kind of like they knew,
like I had this invisible force field around me.

307
00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:06,076
You said before that, um,
when you started telling me about the party,

308
00:18:06,120 --> 00:18:08,554
that everything became clear that day.

309
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:10,830
What was it that became clear?

310
00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:13,950
That I needed to go.

311
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:15,831
I needed to get back to the navy.

312
00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:18,269
Discipline, order, "Yes, sir. No, sir."

313
00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:22,074
Knowing when to sleep, when to wake up,
what to wear, what to eat, what to do.

314
00:18:22,120 --> 00:18:24,315
To get out of my own head.

315
00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:26,749
This is not for everyone,
self-examination.

316
00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:31,316
Some of us,
we just need to live our lives, man.

317
00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:38,319
Why do you think
you went to that particular bar?

318
00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:42,431
I don't know.

319
00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:47,037
I wanted anyone to so much as breathe

320
00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:49,674
so I could beat the living hell out of them,
that's why.

321
00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:51,631
Mm. But nobody did.

322
00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:53,511
(Laughs)

323
00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:54,879
No.

324
00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:02,268
Could it be, Alex, that you were there
for exactly the opposite reason?

325
00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:09,796
Cos no one would question you
or ask you to be anything other than yourself?

326
00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:14,752
These issues with your father,
with your own identity,

327
00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:18,395
with what you really want for yourself,

328
00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:21,637
these things,
they have to be looked at.

329
00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:25,796
Don't you think it would be better
to deal with them here on the ground

330
00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:28,877
than have them follow you
20,000 feet into the air?

331
00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:32,754
Wait, are you actually
expressing an opinion here?

332
00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:35,394
Are you telling me not to fly?

333
00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:37,829
I can't answer that.

334
00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:40,519
It makes me feel like you're asking me

335
00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:43,916
to share responsibility
for another major decision in your life.

336
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:47,873
You know, go back to Baghdad,
leave Michaela.

337
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:50,036
I think we're way past that.

338
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:54,117
I'm not asking you to decide, Paul.
I can decide.

339
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:56,515
I have decided.

340
00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:59,996
No, I'm asking you man to man...

341
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:05,757
Tell me, what would you do
if you were me?

342
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:12,757
(Sighs)

343
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:19,990
Alex, if I was you,
I would stay in therapy.

344
00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:24,079
I would continue to deal with the complex
issues that we've been talking about,

345
00:20:24,120 --> 00:20:27,908
not sweep them under the carpet
like you've been doing in your life.

346
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:30,394
I can tell you one thing...

347
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:33,639
they will creep up on you again.

348
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:38,556
But you won't tell me not to fly.

349
00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:49,235
You know, you're wrong.

350
00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:51,191
I don't make mistakes.

351
00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:54,755
When I'm up in the sky,
that's when I'm in control.

352
00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:00,675
You don't get it yet.

353
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:02,073
I am...

354
00:21:02,120 --> 00:21:03,712
the best.

355
00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:08,078
Now, Paul, listen to me. Paul.

356
00:21:09,120 --> 00:21:12,510
Don't fuck me up
with this navy shrink. Please.

357
00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:15,757
Don't take my world away from me.

358
00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:34,759
Well...

359
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:38,309
I think we're done.

360
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:49,831
What is it, Doc?

361
00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:56,151
Here's my, uh... my cellphone.

362
00:21:57,480 --> 00:22:01,155
I want you to call me any time,
day or night,

363
00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:04,988
if you need to talk about anything, OK?

364
00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:17,796
I just had a thought.

365
00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:21,719
Soon I'm going to be flying
over the armpit of the fucking world

366
00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:25,639
and I'll be thinking about you and your...

367
00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:26,908
and your chair.

368
00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:29,392
(Laughs)

369
00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:31,078
You know, Alex,

370
00:22:31,120 --> 00:22:34,317
I just wanted to say that

371
00:22:34,360 --> 00:22:37,670
I think you've done great work here.

372
00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:39,790
Brave.

373
00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:42,149
Really.

374
00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:45,959
I want us to continue that.

375
00:22:47,360 --> 00:22:49,351
OK?

376
00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:53,678
- Goodbye, Doc.
- Take care, Alex.

377
00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:29,829
English SDH