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Previously on In Treatment...
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Why didn't you tell me
your father was in Miami?
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- Why was it a secret?
- It's not a fucking secret!
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He still doesn't know
about your attempted suicide?
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It's not his fault
that I took those pills!
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- Are you angry at him for something?
- Shut the fuck up about him!
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I want you to remember something.
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There're other places
where you can feel safe
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and here in this room,
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is one of those places.
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Hold up, Paul.
I just got to finish this.
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Take your time.
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I'll just google myself.
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It's my dad, he's in Boston.
I might go visit him next week.
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Oh my god, the most amazing thing
happened last night,
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You wouldn't believe me,
but I don't care.
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Why wouldn't believe you?
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Because you think me and my dad
being connected is bullshit.
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I never said it was bullshit,
I said I might be surprised...
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Free your mind, Paul,
the rest will follow.
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Subtitles: Ju
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1x33: Sophie - Week 7
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Oh my god, that was incredible.
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I had this dream
that my father was in danger.
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I woke up feeling a little freaked,
so I called him.
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He's staying in a hotel
with his girlfriend.
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Turns out, last night...
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Someone broke into his room
and stole his favorite camera.
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So, I guess you must be feeling
pretty silly now, huh?
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Because you have all this doubts
about my father and I telepathy.
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You basically hate the man.
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- I hate your father?
- Last week, you were insinuating...
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Forget it,
the point is we're connected.
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It's been prove once and for all,
you can't take that away.
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You said that you might go to Boston.
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Don't you have the olympic trials
coming up?
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- Those are after I get back.
- So it's okay
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to miss training
this close to the competition, is it?
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Oh I'm sorry, Cy,
I was looking for my shrink.
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Look, it's not a big deal.
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It's just more important to me
to spend quality time with him.
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- It's been too long.
- Maybe he can come here.
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That way you can see him
and you can still continue to train.
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What do you care?
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Did you bet on me
to win a medal or something?
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When was the last time
you saw your father?
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About...
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00:03:08,060 --> 00:03:09,225
six month ago...
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- He was in town for a week-end.
- Was that fun?
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It was fine.
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We went to this fancy restaurant.
His girlfriend came with us.
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My dad started flirting
with the waitress.
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His girlfriend started to cry.
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So we had to leave which kinda sucked,
but it doesn't matter, it was fine.
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Was it the same girl from Boston?
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I think so.
Who can keep up?
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How did you get on with her?
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Fine.
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She's peachy.
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What's her name again?
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Darren, Tarren, Karen,
something like that.
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Clea.
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I think it's still Clea.
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I'm like the little sister
she never had.
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He should leave her in Boston.
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We haven't taking a trip together,
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just my dad and me
since my thirteen birthday.
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Where did you go?
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We went to Paris.
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He took me to everything.
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From the Eiffel Tower
to Monet's garden, the works.
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At this sidewalk cafe,
I had this cup of chocolate
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you had to eat with the spoon.
Two words: Awe-some!
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We stayed in this huge apartment,
it was like a loft.
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Belonged to some woman,
I met for like...
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five seconds, just as I was leaving
to fly back home.
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She was going into the apartment
as I was going out.
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The elevator reeked of her perfum,
made me wanna throw up.
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I did, literally,
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right on the street,
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in front of the cab.
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Nobody saw it.
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That's not true,
the cabby saw it,
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but my dad didn't,
he stayed upstairs.
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So you took the cab to airport
by yourself?
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Well, yeah,
I was thirteen, Paul.
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So you want to tell me more
about that dream that you had?
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Not really, it doesn't matter,
it's just a stupid dream.
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But I felt he was in danger,
that's the important part.
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I can feel him,
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we're linked,
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radar love.
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It was a terrible dream.
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Or like a nightmare.
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Do you get those?
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Sometimes.
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What happens in yours?
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00:06:02,506 --> 00:06:03,859
There's one I've...
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00:06:04,147 --> 00:06:05,363
I've had...
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00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:08,206
consistently since I was a kid.
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I'm sitting in this rocking chair,
and I'm rocking back and forward.
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Everytime I go to get off, I can't.
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The chair keeps rocking
back and forward.
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And my...
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My mother is calling me...
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from upstairs.
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I'm trying to get out
of the chair, but I...
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I just can't let go.
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What do you think it means?
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I think it means that...
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maybe that I...
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scared to disappoint my mother,
that I'm not gonna be there for her.
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Did you disappoint her,
in real life?
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No, I...
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I don't think so.
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Anyway, back to your dream.
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Okay. So...
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I was waiting for my father
in a hotel room,
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when a man knocked on the door.
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I let him in.
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He asked me where my father was,
I told him he was on his way.
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But just as I said it,
I was so stupid,
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I realize that this guy
was a serial killer.
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So he sat down
to wait with me,
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and I knew that the moment
my father walked into that room,
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this guy was going to kill him.
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And I didn't know how to stop it.
It was awful.
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What did the man look like?
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I don't remember.
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Had you been
in this hotel room before?
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No.
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What was it like?
Can you describe it?
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It was dark...
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Dark wood,
dark furniture.
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Sort of like a cave or a tunnel.
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Yeah, like a tunnel,
but it wasn't scary.
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You could see light at both ends,
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like where the tunnel
started and where it ended.
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00:08:18,919 --> 00:08:20,909
I remember looking back and forth,
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trying to figure out which way was
the entrance and which was the exit.
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Anything else you remember?
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The man was wearing
shoes like yours.
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Not those shoes.
The black ones that you usually wear.
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Like my other ones?
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Not like your other shoes,
they were your shoes.
146
00:08:48,018 --> 00:08:50,943
So this serial killer
was wearing my shoes?
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It was you...
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In the hotel room.
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You were waiting
to kill my father.
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00:09:04,269 --> 00:09:05,998
Did I tell you
why I was gonna kill him?
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00:09:07,454 --> 00:09:09,279
Did your father ever show up?
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no.
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We just sat there.
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We made small talk.
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00:09:18,983 --> 00:09:22,107
And the whole time I was trying
to figure out how to get out of there...
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To call somebody or something.
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Do you remember
what this small talk was about?
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I don't...
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I'm not sure.
Something about...
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It makes perfect sense,
doesn't it?
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You're always insinuating
shit about him.
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That he's the mystery man,
that there's some big secret,
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that he's the person
who really fucked me up.
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But the joke's on you,
because there's nothing there.
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My father didn't cross the line
or break any rules
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or any of that crap
you love to throw around.
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You're so wrong
it's ridiculous.
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My father has always
been there for me.
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His work and me are the only
important things in his life.
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00:10:18,452 --> 00:10:20,734
How do you feel
about his photographs?
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They're beautiful...
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If you look at them
with an open mind,
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which of course you can't.
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He loves the human form.
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He believes the body
can be the perfect...
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expression...
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00:10:36,839 --> 00:10:39,634
of every human emotion
and experience.
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00:10:42,238 --> 00:10:44,347
Is that how he speaks about his work?
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What are you saying, Paul?
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00:10:46,314 --> 00:10:49,485
That I can't form an opinion
of my own father's work?
181
00:10:49,895 --> 00:10:51,437
You think I'm quoting him?
182
00:10:52,710 --> 00:10:56,192
You know, he says a lot of shrinks
are failed artists or writers.
183
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Maybe you're jealous of him.
184
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He travels around the world,
185
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he works with models.
186
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Meanwhile, you're trapped
in your cell with fuck-ups like me.
187
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Oh, I'd take a fuck-up like you any day
over one of those supermodels.
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00:11:14,429 --> 00:11:17,364
- No, you wouldn't. Shut up.
- Yes, I would. It's true.
189
00:11:19,756 --> 00:11:21,430
So, how was that for you,
190
00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:25,596
your father being constantly
surrounded by beautiful women
191
00:11:25,856 --> 00:11:27,193
when you were a kid?
192
00:11:27,521 --> 00:11:29,634
He's an artist.
It was his job.
193
00:11:31,389 --> 00:11:34,099
Besides, nudity was
totally normal in my house.
194
00:11:34,657 --> 00:11:36,034
I got used to it.
195
00:11:36,710 --> 00:11:37,707
Nudity?
196
00:11:38,910 --> 00:11:40,163
Nude models.
197
00:11:40,933 --> 00:11:42,268
The female form.
198
00:11:42,764 --> 00:11:45,051
It's like drawing class 101, Paul.
199
00:11:46,172 --> 00:11:49,197
An artist must work
from the purest inspiration.
200
00:11:49,971 --> 00:11:51,633
His studio was at home,
201
00:11:51,803 --> 00:11:54,700
so there were a lot
of models walking around naked.
202
00:11:55,447 --> 00:11:57,524
It wasn't a big deal.
We were cool.
203
00:11:57,879 --> 00:11:59,636
So this was
normal for you,
204
00:11:59,806 --> 00:12:02,639
to be exposed to adults
being naked, yeah?
205
00:12:04,429 --> 00:12:05,386
"Exposed."
206
00:12:06,647 --> 00:12:09,424
"Ooh, nudity.
How scary.
207
00:12:09,957 --> 00:12:11,367
"Breasts... Terrifying!"
208
00:12:15,737 --> 00:12:17,603
So were you ever naked
around the house?
209
00:12:17,773 --> 00:12:19,333
Of course not.
210
00:12:23,664 --> 00:12:24,947
Look at your face.
211
00:12:25,207 --> 00:12:27,270
You think that's my big secret?
212
00:12:27,762 --> 00:12:30,910
I saw my father naked
and now I'm scarred for life?
213
00:12:31,211 --> 00:12:33,034
Isn't that kind of a cliche?
214
00:12:34,258 --> 00:12:36,917
So your father was naked
and your mother as well?
215
00:12:39,179 --> 00:12:40,607
Why are you laughing?
216
00:12:40,777 --> 00:12:42,862
My mother always wore her clothes,
217
00:12:43,032 --> 00:12:44,534
even in the shower.
218
00:12:46,941 --> 00:12:49,302
But she was perfectly
comfortable with...
219
00:12:49,661 --> 00:12:50,598
the models?
220
00:12:50,984 --> 00:12:53,444
She was clueless
about the whole thing.
221
00:12:53,768 --> 00:12:56,677
Sorry, I'm having a difficult time
following this. I thought you said
222
00:12:56,847 --> 00:12:58,731
that people were naked all the time?
223
00:13:00,223 --> 00:13:02,395
Okay, not all the time.
224
00:13:02,764 --> 00:13:04,201
A lot of the time.
225
00:13:04,486 --> 00:13:07,671
During the day,
while my mother was at work.
226
00:13:11,075 --> 00:13:13,221
So would you say
that your father was...
227
00:13:14,492 --> 00:13:16,067
hiding it from her?
228
00:13:16,761 --> 00:13:18,265
I'd say she was a fucking idiot
229
00:13:18,435 --> 00:13:20,801
who couldn't see
what was right in front of her.
230
00:13:23,465 --> 00:13:24,840
They were having sex.
231
00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:27,634
Who was having sex, Sophie?
232
00:13:29,495 --> 00:13:30,588
My dad...
233
00:13:32,119 --> 00:13:33,827
With the model du jour.
234
00:13:34,818 --> 00:13:36,102
How do you know?
235
00:13:38,010 --> 00:13:39,159
I saw them.
236
00:13:41,442 --> 00:13:43,359
I came home from school
early one day.
237
00:13:44,325 --> 00:13:47,565
The mom who drove carpool that day
had to pick us up early.
238
00:13:48,060 --> 00:13:49,639
I walked into my parents' bedroom
239
00:13:49,809 --> 00:13:51,982
and my father was there
with a model.
240
00:13:52,152 --> 00:13:53,828
Does your father know
that you saw?
241
00:13:54,347 --> 00:13:55,663
Oh, yeah. He got up.
242
00:13:56,903 --> 00:13:59,403
He came over to me
and just looked at me.
243
00:14:01,152 --> 00:14:02,738
I said something like,
244
00:14:03,394 --> 00:14:05,881
"I thought the models
only came at fixed times."
245
00:14:06,592 --> 00:14:08,068
And what did he say?
246
00:14:10,292 --> 00:14:11,645
I don't remember.
247
00:14:12,383 --> 00:14:14,810
Something like,
"you're supposed to be at school."
248
00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:16,880
And then he shut the door...
249
00:14:17,208 --> 00:14:18,356
And locked it.
250
00:14:18,684 --> 00:14:21,105
I remember the sound
of the latch sliding.
251
00:14:21,365 --> 00:14:22,648
How old were you?
252
00:14:23,212 --> 00:14:25,067
I don't know.
Seven and a half?
253
00:14:26,710 --> 00:14:29,803
Why are you being so dramatic?
It was no big deal.
254
00:14:30,650 --> 00:14:32,304
My father is an artist.
255
00:14:32,793 --> 00:14:35,098
They don't live
like other people do.
256
00:14:35,671 --> 00:14:37,390
They have to be in touch with...
257
00:14:37,731 --> 00:14:40,958
They have to crap on conventional
things in order to create.
258
00:14:41,218 --> 00:14:42,793
Did you say it to your mother?
259
00:14:43,053 --> 00:14:43,854
No.
260
00:14:45,713 --> 00:14:47,673
Did your father tell you not to?
261
00:14:47,933 --> 00:14:48,747
no.
262
00:14:50,227 --> 00:14:52,424
But you walked away
from the door knowing...
263
00:14:52,594 --> 00:14:55,181
you weren't supposed
to say anything, that you had a secret.
264
00:14:58,711 --> 00:15:02,146
Maybe that's when the idea of telepathy
between you and your dad began?
265
00:15:02,742 --> 00:15:06,037
This idea that you can understand
each other without words.
266
00:15:09,154 --> 00:15:10,867
That's your big theory?
267
00:15:11,532 --> 00:15:14,658
After all your insinuations?
Pretty lame.
268
00:15:14,918 --> 00:15:17,075
- You keep accusing me...
- You keep suggesting
269
00:15:17,245 --> 00:15:19,285
that somebody crossed
the line with me,
270
00:15:19,599 --> 00:15:21,972
that I don't have
the ability to say "no."
271
00:15:22,142 --> 00:15:23,700
You're saying that...
272
00:15:25,299 --> 00:15:26,132
What?
273
00:15:27,055 --> 00:15:29,167
That I've been sexually abused.
274
00:15:29,426 --> 00:15:31,425
You think that's the secret
I'm looking for?
275
00:15:31,685 --> 00:15:33,875
- Well, aren't you?
- No, I'm not.
276
00:15:36,267 --> 00:15:37,510
No, right.
277
00:15:43,364 --> 00:15:45,189
Do you think something
happened to you?
278
00:15:45,449 --> 00:15:49,162
Are you listening to me?
I told you nothing happened.
279
00:15:49,354 --> 00:15:51,028
You're the one who keeps implying...
280
00:15:51,288 --> 00:15:54,156
I don't think you were
sexually abused, Sophie.
281
00:15:54,509 --> 00:15:57,901
Good. Now we can finally
stop talking about that.
282
00:16:00,589 --> 00:16:03,008
Why didn't you ever tell your mother
what you saw?
283
00:16:03,178 --> 00:16:04,600
Don't be an idiot.
284
00:16:05,010 --> 00:16:08,629
So this secret has been there
between you and she all these years?
285
00:16:09,001 --> 00:16:10,963
So what? I barely speak
to the woman anyway.
286
00:16:11,133 --> 00:16:14,012
You don't think there's any connection
between those two things?
287
00:16:14,182 --> 00:16:16,512
I don't speak to her
because she's pathetic.
288
00:16:16,772 --> 00:16:17,995
She's a moron.
289
00:16:18,337 --> 00:16:21,303
She couldn't see
what was right in front of her face.
290
00:16:23,751 --> 00:16:26,498
Sometimes I think
she's still waiting for him,
291
00:16:27,031 --> 00:16:29,024
like Santa Claus or something.
292
00:16:29,696 --> 00:16:32,319
She would never admit it,
but it's so obvious, it's pathetic.
293
00:16:32,579 --> 00:16:35,461
But if you told her, she might not be
waiting for him any longer.
294
00:16:35,631 --> 00:16:38,284
It's not my job
to make her face reality!
295
00:16:38,544 --> 00:16:41,877
I'm the child.
She's supposed to be smarter than me.
296
00:16:42,178 --> 00:16:44,239
You know, she sits there,
day after day,
297
00:16:44,409 --> 00:16:48,085
waiting for him to come to his senses.
I want to scream at her,
298
00:16:48,345 --> 00:16:50,540
"He doesn't give a fuck about you!
299
00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:52,682
"You're stupid.
You're useless.
300
00:16:52,852 --> 00:16:55,676
"Just get the fuck up
of your clueless ass and get a life!"
301
00:16:55,936 --> 00:16:57,720
Why didn't you tell her
about his affairs?
302
00:16:57,980 --> 00:16:59,297
It's not my fucking job!
303
00:16:59,467 --> 00:17:01,932
Maybe you didn't tell her
because you were afraid.
304
00:17:02,192 --> 00:17:04,935
Maybe you were afraid they'd separate
and it would be your fault,
305
00:17:05,510 --> 00:17:09,023
just like you thought that you'd ruined
Cy and Darlene's marriage?
306
00:17:10,458 --> 00:17:13,201
Why didn't you tell your mother
after they divorced?
307
00:17:14,989 --> 00:17:17,668
What was I supposed to do?
Rub her face in it?
308
00:17:17,955 --> 00:17:19,780
You're angry she couldn't see that?
309
00:17:19,950 --> 00:17:21,785
Yes!
Fuck yes!
310
00:17:22,523 --> 00:17:24,690
In all the weeks
that we've been in therapy,
311
00:17:24,860 --> 00:17:27,416
you've never once allowed yourself
to be angry at your father.
312
00:17:28,099 --> 00:17:30,614
It's never even been
a possibility for you.
313
00:17:30,901 --> 00:17:32,734
Why do you think that is?
314
00:17:34,930 --> 00:17:37,644
See, I think that your father
made you his accomplice.
315
00:17:37,814 --> 00:17:39,973
He burdened you with this secret
316
00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:42,783
way too heavy
for any child to carry,
317
00:17:42,953 --> 00:17:46,699
and he drove this wedge between you
and your mother with this secret.
318
00:17:46,869 --> 00:17:48,639
Maybe you're afraid to get angry at him
319
00:17:48,809 --> 00:17:51,201
because if you did,
you'd lose him for good.
320
00:17:51,939 --> 00:17:55,172
Maybe you never told your mother
because part of you still hopes
321
00:17:55,342 --> 00:17:57,901
that they're gonna
get back together again.
322
00:18:01,588 --> 00:18:03,729
I know that's never
going to happen.
323
00:18:04,471 --> 00:18:07,574
- I'm not an idiot.
- Wouldn't have to be to believe that.
324
00:18:08,044 --> 00:18:10,091
I know plenty of grownups
325
00:18:10,401 --> 00:18:12,482
whose parents
have separated 20, 30 years,
326
00:18:12,652 --> 00:18:16,003
who have even died...
They still hope in their heart of hearts
327
00:18:16,173 --> 00:18:19,554
that their mother and father
still share a bed in heaven.
328
00:18:23,869 --> 00:18:26,084
He wouldn't be a good husband
if he came back.
329
00:18:26,254 --> 00:18:27,893
He'd just leave her again.
330
00:18:28,489 --> 00:18:29,493
And you.
331
00:18:30,677 --> 00:18:31,480
What?
332
00:18:32,254 --> 00:18:34,197
He left you too,
didn't he?
333
00:18:34,909 --> 00:18:35,716
No.
334
00:18:36,796 --> 00:18:38,720
He just moved out.
He's still my dad.
335
00:18:38,890 --> 00:18:40,364
Of course he's still your dad,
336
00:18:40,965 --> 00:18:43,341
but he did literally
leave you, didn't he?
337
00:18:43,511 --> 00:18:45,049
He moved away.
He's not around,
338
00:18:45,219 --> 00:18:47,651
he doesn't even know
whether you're dead or alive.
339
00:18:48,636 --> 00:18:49,832
He was working.
340
00:18:50,092 --> 00:18:52,000
Why can't you let yourself
be angry at him?
341
00:18:52,260 --> 00:18:54,178
Why should I be angry at him?
342
00:18:54,348 --> 00:18:55,883
She's the one who...
343
00:18:56,831 --> 00:18:58,221
Who pisses me off.
344
00:18:58,850 --> 00:19:00,304
- Why?
- Because she's pathetic
345
00:19:00,474 --> 00:19:01,976
and annoying and...
346
00:19:03,188 --> 00:19:04,680
And she's always around.
347
00:19:09,455 --> 00:19:12,582
I can understand why you might
be angry at her too, though.
348
00:19:13,273 --> 00:19:16,625
'Cause you feel she didn't protect you
from what was going on at home.
349
00:19:18,653 --> 00:19:20,231
But she's also a rock.
350
00:19:21,310 --> 00:19:23,801
She's incredibly patient.
She's persistent.
351
00:19:25,409 --> 00:19:27,014
She's not going anywhere.
352
00:19:28,742 --> 00:19:31,362
She's really something
when you think about it.
353
00:19:32,573 --> 00:19:33,587
Isn't she?
354
00:20:02,751 --> 00:20:04,698
There's something
I haven't told you.
355
00:20:04,958 --> 00:20:05,998
What's that?
356
00:20:08,008 --> 00:20:10,863
I'm not really that interested
in gymnastics anymore.
357
00:20:11,323 --> 00:20:12,224
What?
358
00:20:14,778 --> 00:20:15,736
Why not?
359
00:20:16,887 --> 00:20:18,061
I don't know.
360
00:20:18,465 --> 00:20:20,362
Used to be everything to me,
361
00:20:21,366 --> 00:20:22,681
and now it's not.
362
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:26,220
And why do you think that is?
363
00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:28,306
No, you tell me, Paul.
364
00:20:35,959 --> 00:20:39,440
I think that when you were growing up,
there weren't enough boundaries at home.
365
00:20:41,233 --> 00:20:44,813
Boundaries to protect a child from...
What we you, six, seven?
366
00:20:45,855 --> 00:20:46,822
From...
367
00:20:47,404 --> 00:20:49,300
things that could impact your...
368
00:20:51,367 --> 00:20:53,075
Your view of sex,
369
00:20:53,413 --> 00:20:54,430
your body,
370
00:20:55,413 --> 00:20:56,917
your attitudes
toward men.
371
00:20:58,244 --> 00:20:59,574
It was also an environment
372
00:20:59,744 --> 00:21:02,852
where you were expected to be
complicit in the lies of grownups.
373
00:21:03,209 --> 00:21:07,124
I think you wanted to escape, so sports
became the perfect outlet for you.
374
00:21:08,091 --> 00:21:11,802
A place with rules and order,
where discipline protected you
375
00:21:12,657 --> 00:21:14,017
and guided you.
376
00:21:18,539 --> 00:21:22,477
Gymnastics was always a place
that you were able to run away to,
377
00:21:22,927 --> 00:21:24,336
to be in control.
378
00:21:28,232 --> 00:21:29,237
Maybe...
379
00:21:31,218 --> 00:21:34,570
Maybe you don't need to run away
to that world anymore.
380
00:21:47,678 --> 00:21:49,406
- Shit.
- What?
381
00:21:50,871 --> 00:21:53,171
i'll never make
the olympic team now,
382
00:21:53,519 --> 00:21:55,234
not with that attitude.
383
00:21:57,181 --> 00:22:00,981
Well, I don't think
that's necessarily true.
384
00:22:03,976 --> 00:22:05,485
I'm gonna suck at it.
385
00:22:07,525 --> 00:22:09,165
Have you ever failed before?
386
00:22:09,335 --> 00:22:10,499
Never, but...
387
00:22:11,391 --> 00:22:12,208
What?
388
00:22:15,739 --> 00:22:18,539
... the times,
they are a-changin'.
389
00:22:22,004 --> 00:22:24,101
It's from a Bob Dylan song.
390
00:22:25,403 --> 00:22:26,708
My gift to you.
391
00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:29,551
Thank you.
392
00:22:30,980 --> 00:22:32,266
You're welcome.
393
00:22:33,177 --> 00:22:34,810
He's an old geezer...
394
00:22:35,638 --> 00:22:36,433
Like you.
395
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:38,983
Thanks.
396
00:22:53,262 --> 00:22:54,586
Our time is up.
397
00:23:45,921 --> 00:23:48,466
So I'll see you next week then.
398
00:23:49,987 --> 00:23:50,992
Okay?