1 00:00:00,488 --> 00:00:02,469 Previously on In Treatment... 2 00:00:03,249 --> 00:00:06,051 You really want me to give you permission to have sex with your boss? 3 00:00:06,293 --> 00:00:08,468 Just once, just tell me it's not that bad. 4 00:00:08,712 --> 00:00:10,598 I think it might be that bad. 5 00:00:11,892 --> 00:00:13,960 Do you really think that sleeping with Reeves 6 00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:16,145 is gonna bring back the good old reliable 7 00:00:16,387 --> 00:00:18,157 angry, controlling Jake, 8 00:00:18,277 --> 00:00:20,848 the one who fights you and threatens you? 9 00:00:20,968 --> 00:00:22,970 Your father died when you were 13? 10 00:00:23,977 --> 00:00:26,323 - You must have been pretty devastated. - I was. 11 00:00:26,563 --> 00:00:29,652 He was a lovely man. He was affectionate and great. 12 00:00:29,856 --> 00:00:33,072 And yet when Jake is tender and he expresses his love 13 00:00:33,192 --> 00:00:37,178 through tenderness, it makes you angry. Do you feel that you deserve that love? 14 00:00:37,298 --> 00:00:39,376 It's not love. It's neediness. 15 00:00:39,496 --> 00:00:41,235 It's weakness. It's unbearable. 16 00:00:41,355 --> 00:00:43,656 So it's only love if he chases you, stalks you, 17 00:00:43,776 --> 00:00:46,341 tapes you, is jealous of you, is that it? 18 00:00:52,306 --> 00:00:54,925 - Hello, Jake. - Hey, Paul. You miss me? 19 00:00:59,047 --> 00:01:02,155 Amy's on the phone in the car. She'll be right in. 20 00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:06,541 You know, we've been sitting out there for a while. 21 00:01:06,661 --> 00:01:09,747 - You got a pretty nice 'hood here. - It's come a long way since we... 22 00:01:09,867 --> 00:01:11,951 - Since we bought the house. - I'll say. 23 00:01:12,191 --> 00:01:15,081 The houses here must be in, like, the seven figures, right? 24 00:01:15,201 --> 00:01:18,177 Why do you ask? Are you interested in the market? 25 00:01:18,851 --> 00:01:20,720 It's too rich for my blood. 26 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:24,001 But, if I were you, I would sell while the market's still good. 27 00:01:24,246 --> 00:01:28,154 Get a bunch of acres over in Middleburg. You ever been over there? Horse country. 28 00:01:28,274 --> 00:01:31,027 I know. My daughter used to take 29 00:01:31,147 --> 00:01:33,229 horse-riding lessons out there. 30 00:01:33,500 --> 00:01:36,517 I sometimes fool around with the idea of selling, actually. 31 00:01:36,759 --> 00:01:37,575 Really? 32 00:01:38,126 --> 00:01:40,979 'Cause you don't seem the type who fools around with anything. 33 00:01:44,816 --> 00:01:47,396 - How long you been here? - Long time now. 34 00:01:47,516 --> 00:01:49,770 Twenty-two years, maybe. 35 00:01:49,890 --> 00:01:52,435 You know the Appalachian trail goes through this area? 36 00:01:53,190 --> 00:01:54,334 I knew that. 37 00:01:54,454 --> 00:01:57,767 I hiked the whole thing when I was 17, dropped out of high school to do it. 38 00:01:57,887 --> 00:01:59,488 - Did I ever tell you that? - No. 39 00:01:59,608 --> 00:02:02,515 In fact, I even came into the town to stock up. 40 00:02:02,831 --> 00:02:05,866 Maybe we met 20 years ago in a convenience store. 41 00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:10,264 Paul, if a guy like you and a guy like me met 44 00:02:15,589 --> 00:02:18,700 But I know nothing about the contemporary music scene. 45 00:02:18,820 --> 00:02:20,218 Neither do I, man. 46 00:02:20,852 --> 00:02:24,716 Why do you think I spend half my time making cabinets for a living? 47 00:02:31,605 --> 00:02:34,191 Transcript: FRM. 48 00:02:34,967 --> 00:02:38,330 Sync by Allysiah, Anyone, michvanilly, salomon. 49 00:02:51,314 --> 00:02:53,346 We drove here together today. 50 00:02:54,637 --> 00:02:56,111 It's part of the new plan: 51 00:02:57,130 --> 00:02:59,650 trying to be agreeable, accommodating. 52 00:03:00,174 --> 00:03:02,634 She wanted to come together, we do it. 53 00:03:02,754 --> 00:03:04,593 She wanted to drive, I let her. 54 00:03:04,713 --> 00:03:07,158 It's been a couple years since I drove with her in her car, 55 00:03:07,278 --> 00:03:10,887 and as soon as we pulled out of the driveway, I remembered why. 56 00:03:11,607 --> 00:03:13,414 You see, for Amy, 57 00:03:14,098 --> 00:03:17,474 the car is her favorite place to conduct business, 58 00:03:17,594 --> 00:03:20,802 but she doesn't think it's safe to talk and drive, 59 00:03:20,922 --> 00:03:23,588 so she has to pull over and not just anywhere. 60 00:03:23,708 --> 00:03:27,282 No, not just anywhere. It has to be a proper parking place. 61 00:03:27,621 --> 00:03:30,798 No yellow curbs, no handicapped spaces for this lady. 62 00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:34,612 - Do you park in handicapped spaces? - I don't park in a handicapped space, 63 00:03:34,732 --> 00:03:37,304 but I'll park in a yellow or a red, sure. 64 00:03:38,347 --> 00:03:41,516 - Not worried about getting a ticket? - No, fuck 'em. 65 00:03:43,637 --> 00:03:45,480 So why didn't you offer to drive? 66 00:03:46,690 --> 00:03:48,120 See, a while ago, 67 00:03:48,835 --> 00:03:50,979 I fell asleep once at the wheel. 68 00:03:51,099 --> 00:03:53,937 Once, while I was taking her to the airport. 69 00:03:54,645 --> 00:03:56,804 I had been working all night. I was really tired 70 00:03:56,924 --> 00:03:59,401 and we were stuck in traffic. I must've closed my eyes 71 00:03:59,521 --> 00:04:02,525 for no more than 10 sec. Next thing I know, she's screaming at me: 72 00:04:02,645 --> 00:04:05,169 "Get out of the car! You almost killed us!" 73 00:04:05,289 --> 00:04:07,340 Ever since then, she never lets me drive her 74 00:04:07,460 --> 00:04:10,185 and I don't like to be driven by a chick, so... 75 00:04:13,603 --> 00:04:17,129 The truth is, she's a much better driver than I am anyway. 76 00:04:19,041 --> 00:04:21,243 - Hello, Paul. - Hello, Amy. 77 00:04:22,472 --> 00:04:24,133 Late again, sorry. 78 00:04:27,020 --> 00:04:28,700 Making up for last week. 79 00:04:28,820 --> 00:04:31,275 - What happened last week? - I was early. 80 00:04:32,505 --> 00:04:35,445 - You were early? - Yes, last week I was early, 81 00:04:35,565 --> 00:04:38,104 this week I'm late. I said I was sorry. 82 00:04:40,471 --> 00:04:41,297 What? 83 00:04:42,444 --> 00:04:43,203 What? 84 00:04:43,445 --> 00:04:45,243 - You've got that face. - What face? 85 00:04:45,363 --> 00:04:47,240 I said I was sorry. What do you wanna do? 86 00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:49,418 Slap my hand? Go on, slap my hand then. 87 00:04:51,787 --> 00:04:54,801 I was late on purpose. I thought you and Paul could catch up. 88 00:04:55,082 --> 00:04:56,368 Amy, it's OK. Relax. 89 00:04:56,625 --> 00:04:59,116 Don't tell me to relax. It's annoying. 90 00:05:07,950 --> 00:05:09,468 So how have you both been? 91 00:05:10,229 --> 00:05:11,049 Fine. 92 00:05:12,687 --> 00:05:15,070 - How are you? - I'm well, thank you. 93 00:05:20,973 --> 00:05:24,913 I just want to acknowledge, Jake, that Amy and I met alone 94 00:05:25,263 --> 00:05:26,850 - last week. - He knows that. 95 00:05:26,970 --> 00:05:28,819 Yes, I know he knows that. 96 00:05:29,700 --> 00:05:32,252 Then why did you find it necessary to say it? 97 00:05:32,494 --> 00:05:34,389 Just so that we'd be clear. 98 00:05:35,998 --> 00:05:37,800 I was meeting with a producer 99 00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:40,762 who's talking about buying some of my songs for this artist of his. 100 00:05:42,956 --> 00:05:44,054 And, is he? 101 00:05:47,077 --> 00:05:48,728 Are you trying to pick a fight? 102 00:05:50,404 --> 00:05:51,637 Just kidding. 103 00:05:52,189 --> 00:05:53,732 You're just kidding. 104 00:05:54,295 --> 00:05:57,551 My bad. I think I left my funny detector in the car, 105 00:05:57,671 --> 00:05:59,085 so I couldn't tell. 106 00:06:07,661 --> 00:06:10,148 I think Amy's been really stressed out at work. 107 00:06:10,268 --> 00:06:12,713 I'm not stressed out. Work's the same as usual. 108 00:06:13,776 --> 00:06:15,452 You've been killing yourself. 109 00:06:15,572 --> 00:06:19,404 Your boss is a total asshole. And he's been working her to the bone. 110 00:06:19,524 --> 00:06:21,052 - Will you stop it? - What? 111 00:06:21,293 --> 00:06:24,221 "Works me to the bone". You make it sound like I work in a factory. 112 00:06:25,300 --> 00:06:27,860 I just think you've been working too hard, that's all. 113 00:06:27,980 --> 00:06:31,720 - I'm worried about you. Can I? - No, stop it. You're annoying. 114 00:06:39,348 --> 00:06:42,596 I don't know what to say here. When you walk into a minefield, 115 00:06:42,716 --> 00:06:44,909 usually there's some warning signs, right? 116 00:06:49,359 --> 00:06:50,223 Sorry. 117 00:06:51,496 --> 00:06:53,335 I guess I'm a little tired. 118 00:06:53,699 --> 00:06:57,088 I don't get where it's all coming from. I thought we had a really good week. 119 00:07:03,100 --> 00:07:04,620 Amy, how did you... 120 00:07:06,078 --> 00:07:08,182 How did you feel about the week? 121 00:07:12,391 --> 00:07:14,187 I thought before today, it's been 122 00:07:14,429 --> 00:07:17,004 pretty smooth sailing on the sea of matrimony here. 123 00:07:17,426 --> 00:07:19,526 She'd come home, I'd cook her some dinner, 124 00:07:19,768 --> 00:07:22,279 we'd have a glass of wine on the porch. I thought it was nice. 125 00:07:22,521 --> 00:07:24,823 I've become your lapdog too, so that helps, I guess. 126 00:07:25,065 --> 00:07:26,085 My lapdog? 127 00:07:26,785 --> 00:07:28,410 What does he mean by that? 128 00:07:28,652 --> 00:07:30,949 I'm talking about 2 weeks ago, when I castrated myself 129 00:07:31,069 --> 00:07:33,119 before your eyes. Don't tell me you don't remember. 130 00:07:33,239 --> 00:07:36,627 You mean when you were honest with Amy about how you felt? 131 00:07:36,868 --> 00:07:39,756 Yeah, I mean when I begged her to give a damn about me. 132 00:07:41,897 --> 00:07:43,050 Do you regret that? 133 00:07:45,530 --> 00:07:47,864 I don't, not if that's what she needs. 134 00:07:47,984 --> 00:07:50,079 What do you mean, "if that's what she needs"? 135 00:07:50,199 --> 00:07:52,769 What I mean is I'm trying to keep the peace. 136 00:07:53,175 --> 00:07:56,244 Look, I realize I haven't been the easiest guy to love 137 00:07:56,364 --> 00:07:58,565 but I'm trying to make this work. 138 00:07:59,177 --> 00:08:01,682 I wanna make this work. So I'm trying. 139 00:08:04,058 --> 00:08:06,699 I really thought we were happy this week. 140 00:08:07,239 --> 00:08:09,313 Of course you did, because you were happy. 141 00:08:09,433 --> 00:08:11,433 I have been bending over backwards 142 00:08:11,553 --> 00:08:14,957 far enough to stick my head up my ass. You think that's been easy for me? 143 00:08:16,001 --> 00:08:19,367 I don't know what you want. If I worry about you, it's not good enough. 144 00:08:19,487 --> 00:08:22,299 If I back off, it's no good. I can't win with you. 145 00:08:22,814 --> 00:08:25,779 "I worry about you. I back off. I can't win." 146 00:08:25,899 --> 00:08:27,919 I, I, I, I... 147 00:08:43,939 --> 00:08:45,780 - What do you want? - Nothing. 148 00:08:46,021 --> 00:08:48,303 No, forget it. I shouldn't have come today. I'm sorry. 149 00:08:48,423 --> 00:08:50,450 I'm in a bad mood. I'll just mess things up. 150 00:08:50,570 --> 00:08:53,204 He's been great, really. Jake's just wonderful. 151 00:08:53,445 --> 00:08:55,222 I don't know what's wrong with me. 152 00:09:01,482 --> 00:09:04,094 This really just started, Paul. I mean, she's been great. 153 00:09:04,214 --> 00:09:07,161 The last two weeks have been amazing. There hasn't been a lot of drama. 154 00:09:07,281 --> 00:09:09,852 We haven't even been arguing about Lenny. 155 00:09:12,167 --> 00:09:13,302 I really... 156 00:09:14,898 --> 00:09:18,008 I really felt like I was giving her what she needs. 157 00:09:20,971 --> 00:09:21,774 Sorry. 158 00:09:24,833 --> 00:09:27,412 - What the fuck was that? - Sorry, Jake. 159 00:09:28,078 --> 00:09:29,990 No, did I say something funny? 160 00:09:30,483 --> 00:09:33,385 No, it's just, you said you know what I need. 161 00:09:34,326 --> 00:09:36,589 For some reason, I found that funny. 162 00:09:43,297 --> 00:09:46,010 That's the face Jake makes when he's about to hit something, 163 00:09:46,130 --> 00:09:47,542 so, watch out. 164 00:10:00,998 --> 00:10:04,066 What do you need, Amy? Just tell me what you need. 165 00:10:04,306 --> 00:10:07,070 - Tell me what you need. - I got what I need... You. 166 00:10:08,966 --> 00:10:09,822 You know, 167 00:10:10,063 --> 00:10:13,241 I just told you, I really thought everything was fine for a change. 168 00:10:15,151 --> 00:10:16,995 Well, I'm not coming home exhausted. 169 00:10:17,115 --> 00:10:19,581 I fall asleep because you've become a fucking tranquilizer. 170 00:10:19,823 --> 00:10:22,792 When I came in the house, you used to grab my ass or you'd kiss me. 171 00:10:22,912 --> 00:10:25,128 Now you are trying to be so tender and sensitive... 172 00:10:25,370 --> 00:10:26,894 When I grabbed your ass, you said 173 00:10:27,014 --> 00:10:29,563 - I was treating you like an animal. - That's true. 174 00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:36,849 What do you think it is that you want, Amy? 175 00:10:38,218 --> 00:10:39,422 I don't know. 176 00:10:45,741 --> 00:10:48,813 I wanna go home. I shouldn't have come here today. 177 00:10:48,933 --> 00:10:50,320 It was a mistake. 178 00:10:51,062 --> 00:10:53,009 Why do you think that, Amy? 179 00:10:54,912 --> 00:10:56,216 It was a mistake. 180 00:10:56,594 --> 00:10:58,954 - My stomach aches. - How convenient. 181 00:10:59,196 --> 00:11:01,696 Amy gets these perfectly-timed stomachaches. 182 00:11:01,816 --> 00:11:03,751 They're like her secret weapons. 183 00:11:04,556 --> 00:11:05,878 Would you like some tea? 184 00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:10,694 What does it feel like? Does it... 185 00:11:10,814 --> 00:11:13,718 It feels like she's having a conversation she'd rather not have. 186 00:11:13,959 --> 00:11:15,210 I'm asking Amy. 187 00:11:16,574 --> 00:11:19,709 It feels like my stomach is cramping. 188 00:11:20,681 --> 00:11:22,513 The classic stomach cramp. 189 00:11:23,652 --> 00:11:25,522 You see, it's just vague enough 190 00:11:25,642 --> 00:11:27,660 to be completely untreatable. 191 00:11:29,004 --> 00:11:30,860 Is it something that you've had before? 192 00:11:39,915 --> 00:11:42,542 I had the first one when my father died, 193 00:11:42,986 --> 00:11:45,350 but a thousand times worse than this. 194 00:11:45,617 --> 00:11:46,618 You know? 195 00:11:56,116 --> 00:11:57,947 I remember I couldn't stand up. 196 00:11:58,067 --> 00:12:00,833 I was lying curled up on the pavement 197 00:12:00,953 --> 00:12:03,626 with tears streaming out of my eyes and... 198 00:12:04,842 --> 00:12:06,166 I couldn't move. 199 00:12:08,635 --> 00:12:09,942 Where was this? 200 00:12:12,873 --> 00:12:15,864 Outside an ice cream store. That's where he died. 201 00:12:16,105 --> 00:12:18,005 He took me for an ice cream. 202 00:12:18,125 --> 00:12:20,668 My mother was in a horrible mood and... 203 00:12:21,184 --> 00:12:24,761 I went to my dad's office and said: "I wanna run away", and he said: 204 00:12:24,881 --> 00:12:26,686 "That's okay. I wanna run away too, 205 00:12:26,806 --> 00:12:29,557 "but let's stop first and get an ice cream." 206 00:12:29,677 --> 00:12:32,542 And I knew what he was doing but I didn't care. 207 00:12:32,912 --> 00:12:36,304 I just wanted to get out of the house and spend time with my dad. 208 00:12:36,424 --> 00:12:39,150 We sat down on the curb outside the store, 209 00:12:39,270 --> 00:12:40,722 eating our ice cream cones, 210 00:12:40,964 --> 00:12:43,592 and we were racing to see who could finish first and... 211 00:12:44,157 --> 00:12:45,109 I won. 212 00:12:45,811 --> 00:12:48,849 So I asked him for money to buy another cone and... 213 00:12:48,969 --> 00:12:50,720 I went back inside and... 214 00:12:51,588 --> 00:12:52,757 A car swung... 215 00:12:56,039 --> 00:12:58,959 into the parking lot and plowed right into him. 216 00:13:02,450 --> 00:13:05,748 One minute he was sitting there and the next he was dead. 217 00:13:09,980 --> 00:13:11,379 Did you see it happen? 218 00:13:16,006 --> 00:13:19,532 Yes, it happened and then all of a sudden there was this... 219 00:13:20,190 --> 00:13:22,303 wave of pain through my stomach. 220 00:13:22,423 --> 00:13:23,788 It folded me over. 221 00:13:24,401 --> 00:13:26,879 I had to lie down on the pavement. I couldn't even stand up 222 00:13:26,999 --> 00:13:30,220 and there were people staring at me. Someone came over and... 223 00:13:30,340 --> 00:13:32,049 tried to touch me, to help me, 224 00:13:32,169 --> 00:13:35,526 and I just started screaming, the pain was so great, and... 225 00:13:35,646 --> 00:13:38,345 the paramedics arrived with two stretchers. 226 00:13:39,016 --> 00:13:40,836 They put my father on one, 227 00:13:45,498 --> 00:13:48,605 and me on the other and they took me to the hospital 228 00:13:48,725 --> 00:13:50,603 and my father to the morgue. 229 00:13:53,991 --> 00:13:56,582 I don't think my mother ever forgave me. 230 00:13:59,368 --> 00:14:00,996 Forgave you for what? 231 00:14:04,828 --> 00:14:05,778 It's okay. 232 00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:17,939 - It wasn't your fault. - Shut up. 233 00:14:18,716 --> 00:14:20,990 You don't know what you're talking about. 234 00:14:24,479 --> 00:14:26,903 - What? No, you were just a kid... - Stop it! 235 00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:29,350 You don't know. You don't know anything. 236 00:14:29,470 --> 00:14:31,083 You don't know me at all. 237 00:14:31,648 --> 00:14:33,045 I've done terrible things. 238 00:14:33,165 --> 00:14:35,170 - It was an accident - Really terrible things. 239 00:14:35,412 --> 00:14:36,885 I had sex with Ben. 240 00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:46,649 I didn't even enjoy it. 241 00:14:46,769 --> 00:14:48,179 Felt like a whore. 242 00:14:49,185 --> 00:14:52,753 He picked me up from here last week and we went out drinking. 243 00:14:53,075 --> 00:14:55,774 And then we went back to the office and fucked on the floor. 244 00:14:56,565 --> 00:14:57,794 Everyone had gone. 245 00:14:57,914 --> 00:15:01,369 He kept saying disgusting things, degrading things. 246 00:15:04,065 --> 00:15:06,077 And while I was doing it, I was asking myself 247 00:15:06,197 --> 00:15:08,632 "Why am I doing this?", but I couldn't stop. 248 00:15:08,752 --> 00:15:10,889 When we finished, he said: "Lock up. 249 00:15:11,009 --> 00:15:13,105 "I'm tired." And he walked out. 250 00:15:15,631 --> 00:15:18,343 I sat alone for two hours, drinking coffee, 251 00:15:20,863 --> 00:15:22,617 thinking about what I should do. 252 00:15:22,737 --> 00:15:26,548 And I planned to come home and tell you and quit my job the next day. 253 00:15:26,668 --> 00:15:29,466 But in the cab on the way home, I realized... 254 00:15:31,167 --> 00:15:32,645 I couldn't tell you. 255 00:15:57,035 --> 00:15:58,330 You're laughing. 256 00:15:58,450 --> 00:15:59,622 Apparently so. 257 00:16:04,190 --> 00:16:06,862 - How can you be laughing? - I don't know. 258 00:16:11,686 --> 00:16:12,935 What is he doing? 259 00:16:14,350 --> 00:16:15,841 Maybe he's relieved. 260 00:16:19,682 --> 00:16:23,230 Yeah, I think that's it. That's exactly it... I'm relieved. 261 00:16:26,795 --> 00:16:27,831 This is... 262 00:16:34,539 --> 00:16:36,058 it's always been... 263 00:16:37,827 --> 00:16:39,312 my worst nightmare, 264 00:16:40,079 --> 00:16:42,006 what I'm scared of the most. 265 00:16:42,246 --> 00:16:44,737 And now it's happened and I feel like... 266 00:16:46,757 --> 00:16:50,328 I feel like this huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. 267 00:16:50,448 --> 00:16:51,488 It's gone. 268 00:17:01,685 --> 00:17:03,176 I feel bad for you. 269 00:17:07,029 --> 00:17:08,928 And sad. I think it's sad. 270 00:17:09,048 --> 00:17:11,631 It's really sad that a woman whose husband breaks down 271 00:17:11,751 --> 00:17:13,661 before her, tells her he can't live without her 272 00:17:13,903 --> 00:17:16,393 goes out and fucks someone else and hurts herself so bad. 273 00:17:16,513 --> 00:17:17,987 I think that's sad. 274 00:17:25,038 --> 00:17:26,848 Do you think it's related? 275 00:17:28,371 --> 00:17:29,846 Your telling Amy... 276 00:17:30,809 --> 00:17:33,389 that you love her and her cheating on you? 277 00:17:35,028 --> 00:17:37,462 It seems pretty obvious to me, but... 278 00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:40,918 What's surprising me, Paul, is... 279 00:17:41,038 --> 00:17:44,628 And maybe I'm just in shock... Is that I don't feel jealous. 280 00:17:45,312 --> 00:17:47,283 I don't feel jealous or angry. 281 00:17:50,687 --> 00:17:54,570 My God, I think I am really being outstanding here, guys. 282 00:17:54,690 --> 00:17:58,058 I mean, is anyone else as impressed with me as I am? 283 00:17:58,445 --> 00:18:01,877 I've imagined this over and over again and I can tell you that I've never... 284 00:18:07,597 --> 00:18:11,192 I can tell you that I've never behaved like such a gentleman. 285 00:18:23,551 --> 00:18:25,166 I just... I feel sad. 286 00:18:25,645 --> 00:18:26,941 For her, for us. 287 00:18:39,281 --> 00:18:42,969 He's right about the connection between what happened with Ben 288 00:18:43,206 --> 00:18:44,858 and what happened here. 289 00:18:46,233 --> 00:18:48,164 From the moment Jake broke down, 290 00:18:48,284 --> 00:18:51,320 I've been feeling like I was gonna lose control. 291 00:18:58,287 --> 00:18:59,468 I feel awful. 292 00:19:05,130 --> 00:19:06,369 Say something. 293 00:19:13,550 --> 00:19:16,476 - How many times did this happen? - Just once. 294 00:19:17,580 --> 00:19:18,912 It won't happen again. 295 00:19:28,466 --> 00:19:29,881 Why did I do this? 296 00:19:31,471 --> 00:19:34,850 Maybe you've always wanted to make Jake angry because... 297 00:19:36,046 --> 00:19:38,581 Because you don't trust his tenderness 298 00:19:39,172 --> 00:19:41,155 and because there's something 299 00:19:42,634 --> 00:19:45,314 deep inside you that wants to be punished. 300 00:19:48,188 --> 00:19:49,984 But Jake has been working hard lately 301 00:19:50,297 --> 00:19:52,968 to be more patient, to be more supportive. 302 00:19:53,088 --> 00:19:57,073 And he's no longer giving you what you need in that way. 303 00:20:04,067 --> 00:20:06,072 And now that Jake has stopped punishing you, 304 00:20:06,192 --> 00:20:08,301 you've started to punish yourself by having sex 305 00:20:08,421 --> 00:20:12,008 with somebody that, as you said yourself, you find repulsive. 306 00:20:18,958 --> 00:20:22,895 You said that after your father died your mother never forgave you. 307 00:20:25,508 --> 00:20:28,209 Maybe you've never forgiven yourself, Amy, 308 00:20:28,604 --> 00:20:32,564 for leaving your father on the curb while you went to get an ice cream. 309 00:20:36,028 --> 00:20:39,247 Maybe you feel that if you degrade yourself enough... 310 00:20:42,172 --> 00:20:44,847 Maybe someday somebody will forgive you... 311 00:20:46,950 --> 00:20:47,792 For... 312 00:20:48,743 --> 00:20:50,081 For everything. 313 00:21:04,074 --> 00:21:05,652 What do you see in me? 314 00:21:09,554 --> 00:21:11,730 How could you possibly be with me? 315 00:21:15,448 --> 00:21:16,584 I loved you. 316 00:21:20,288 --> 00:21:21,188 "Loved"? 317 00:21:29,141 --> 00:21:30,124 That's it? 318 00:21:42,543 --> 00:21:43,714 I deserve it. 319 00:21:44,402 --> 00:21:45,809 You can hit me if you like. 320 00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:51,400 - No, you can, you can hit me... - I don't want to hit you, Ame. 321 00:22:01,211 --> 00:22:02,805 We have to pick up Lenny. 322 00:22:02,925 --> 00:22:05,247 - There's still time. - I really wanna see him. 323 00:22:05,367 --> 00:22:07,049 No, don't go, don't go. 324 00:22:07,169 --> 00:22:10,210 It's too early and the class doesn't finish until 7:00. 325 00:22:10,330 --> 00:22:12,377 Just don't go, please. Let's just sit here. 326 00:22:12,861 --> 00:22:16,651 Let's just sit here with Paul. Let's just be quiet for a minute. 327 00:22:26,304 --> 00:22:27,807 Will he forgive me? 328 00:22:32,881 --> 00:22:34,448 Why don't you ask him?