1 00:00:17,133 --> 00:00:18,780 Previously on New Girl... 2 00:00:19,049 --> 00:00:20,362 We're at a wedding together. 3 00:00:20,399 --> 00:00:21,933 Guys, guys, shut and listen to me... 4 00:00:21,945 --> 00:00:23,354 it's Cece. She doesn't want to get married. 5 00:00:23,373 --> 00:00:25,774 I'm sorry, everyone, but I can't do this. 6 00:00:25,907 --> 00:00:27,842 What I want is to be with someone else. 7 00:00:27,867 --> 00:00:30,024 Are you in love with her or are you in love with me? 8 00:00:30,037 --> 00:00:31,411 You have to decide. 9 00:00:32,987 --> 00:00:35,523 We tried. We had one night. 10 00:00:35,604 --> 00:00:37,789 - Okay, what happened with Jess? - We called it. 11 00:00:37,819 --> 00:00:40,285 Yeah, when things get messy you just run away. 12 00:00:40,316 --> 00:00:42,356 I know you think we should call it. 13 00:00:42,390 --> 00:00:45,425 (Sniffles) But I don't want to give up on this. 14 00:00:58,260 --> 00:01:00,830 (Both laughing) 15 00:01:02,752 --> 00:01:04,723 You know what? I gotta say, Jess, 16 00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:06,179 I really like you. 17 00:01:06,209 --> 00:01:08,289 - I really, really like you. - I really like you. 18 00:01:08,304 --> 00:01:09,685 I can't believe this is happening. 19 00:01:09,712 --> 00:01:12,643 - It's crazy, but it's happening. - It's crazy. 20 00:01:12,683 --> 00:01:13,731 I like you so much. 21 00:01:13,767 --> 00:01:15,259 - Yeah, I like you so much. - Like... 22 00:01:15,290 --> 00:01:17,124 - Yeah. - I'm just... 23 00:01:17,340 --> 00:01:20,189 - What? - I'm in. You know? I'm... 24 00:01:20,613 --> 00:01:23,707 - I'm just all in. - I'm all in. I'm, like, weirdly all in. 25 00:01:23,730 --> 00:01:24,997 - Hey, Nick... - What? 26 00:01:25,025 --> 00:01:26,404 Pull over. 27 00:01:28,119 --> 00:01:30,122 (Jess giggling) NICK: Well, that was fun. 28 00:01:30,131 --> 00:01:31,096 (Laughing) 29 00:01:31,132 --> 00:01:34,573 - We finally broke in the Volvo. Oh, my. - (Giggling) 30 00:01:39,755 --> 00:01:41,670 What's next? What do we do now? 31 00:01:41,727 --> 00:01:44,662 I'm really fighting the urge to buy you a lobster dinner. 32 00:01:47,373 --> 00:01:49,507 Do we just go home? 33 00:01:54,836 --> 00:01:56,904 (Both chuckle weakly) 34 00:01:58,656 --> 00:02:00,856 - You know, I mean, just how is it actually gonna work? - Yeah. 35 00:02:00,875 --> 00:02:03,989 We've only been dating for 30 minutes and we're already living together. 36 00:02:04,027 --> 00:02:07,202 What if you get tired of me, and you have nowhere to go because we're roommates, 37 00:02:07,234 --> 00:02:10,353 - and so you have to sleep in your car... - Hey. Stop. That's not gonna happen. 38 00:02:10,370 --> 00:02:12,733 I've wanted this for so long. I don't want anything to go wrong. 39 00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:14,361 (Phone chirps) 40 00:02:14,582 --> 00:02:17,103 Oh, it's Schmidt. He's freaking out about Cece. 41 00:02:17,124 --> 00:02:18,994 He doesn't need to reach you all the time. 42 00:02:19,008 --> 00:02:20,609 You know what? You're right. I'm gonna ignore it for now. 43 00:02:20,649 --> 00:02:22,599 It's all about us right now. (Phone chimes) 44 00:02:22,779 --> 00:02:23,691 Hmm. 45 00:02:24,384 --> 00:02:26,886 It's Schmidt. He wants to know where you are. 46 00:02:26,911 --> 00:02:28,436 He texted you to ask where I am? 47 00:02:28,464 --> 00:02:29,980 (Phone chimes) That's... ugh. 48 00:02:30,211 --> 00:02:32,067 He just texted I'm a bad friend. 49 00:02:32,130 --> 00:02:34,655 - You know what that is? - Either male genitalia, 50 00:02:34,675 --> 00:02:36,418 or a really big thumbs down. 51 00:02:36,449 --> 00:02:38,776 - Why would he send me male genitalia? - Why can't he talk to Winston? 52 00:02:38,808 --> 00:02:40,809 Well, without me, they get so weird and they fight all the time. 53 00:02:40,826 --> 00:02:42,168 This is what I'm talk... (Phone chimes) 54 00:02:42,215 --> 00:02:44,436 How many times a day does Schmidt text you? 55 00:02:44,454 --> 00:02:45,930 I don't know, I'll just say 40. 56 00:02:46,082 --> 00:02:47,420 How... (Phone chimes) 57 00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:49,304 See, this is what I'm talking about. 58 00:02:49,330 --> 00:02:51,659 I feel like we need time alone... (phone chimes) 59 00:02:51,750 --> 00:02:53,531 so we can figure out what this is. (Phone chimes) 60 00:02:53,555 --> 00:02:57,556 Yes. This is what I want. I want to be with you alone, without anybody else. 61 00:02:57,583 --> 00:02:59,996 - Just you and... - Where have you been? 62 00:03:00,019 --> 00:03:02,837 I'm having a major life crisis, and you guys are, what? Just driving around, 63 00:03:02,858 --> 00:03:05,027 French-kissing each other like a couple Dutch hookers? 64 00:03:05,070 --> 00:03:07,364 What is that, Nick? Is that a hickey? Disgusting! 65 00:03:07,397 --> 00:03:10,213 Hey, you guys. Um, I've been doing a lot of thinking. 66 00:03:10,239 --> 00:03:12,207 Now, I know everyone's going through a lot, 67 00:03:12,232 --> 00:03:14,867 but I think it is time for me to start a puzzle. 68 00:03:14,892 --> 00:03:16,582 - No, it isn't. - What is going on with you two? 69 00:03:16,617 --> 00:03:18,887 Are you, like, a couple now? Have you thought any of this through? 70 00:03:18,924 --> 00:03:21,865 Nick, please help me, okay? Stop being so selfish and just help me. 71 00:03:21,883 --> 00:03:23,032 Okay, you know what? 72 00:03:23,057 --> 00:03:24,695 Give me one minute, I'll be right inside. 73 00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:26,915 - We'll be right in. - Yeah, we just got to figure something out. 74 00:03:26,930 --> 00:03:28,474 All right! Thanks, man. 75 00:03:28,493 --> 00:03:30,235 - The gang's back. - We'll be right in. 76 00:03:30,265 --> 00:03:32,059 Yeah, good-bye, guys. We love you guys. 77 00:03:32,096 --> 00:03:33,146 - Run! - Run! 78 00:03:33,561 --> 00:03:35,018 ♪ Who's that girl? ♪ 79 00:03:35,050 --> 00:03:37,175 ♪ Who's that girl? ♪ ♪ It's Jess ♪ 80 00:03:37,195 --> 00:03:39,195 3.01 - All In Sync and corrected by Elderfel www.addic7ed.com 81 00:03:39,220 --> 00:03:41,706 Sync and corrected by Elderfel www.addic7ed.com Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 82 00:03:42,273 --> 00:03:43,286 SCHMIDT: Well, Winston, 83 00:03:43,310 --> 00:03:46,210 after 25 unanswered text messages to Nick and Jess this morning, 84 00:03:46,230 --> 00:03:48,178 I finally received a response. 85 00:03:48,447 --> 00:03:49,447 A smiley face. 86 00:03:49,482 --> 00:03:51,620 This leaves us with one choice... 87 00:03:52,026 --> 00:03:54,226 - To become best friends. - Huh? Yeah, fine. 88 00:03:54,236 --> 00:03:55,795 For r...? Okay, great. 89 00:03:55,817 --> 00:03:59,158 Now, as my best friend, I expect you to be willing to sacrifice everything for me 90 00:03:59,180 --> 00:04:02,174 at a moment's notice, including, of course, unfortunately for you, your dignity. 91 00:04:02,195 --> 00:04:04,283 - Yeah, fine. - Winston, what can I do for you? 92 00:04:04,292 --> 00:04:08,112 Don't talk to me that much, never lie to me, and never, ever touch my puzzle. 93 00:04:08,140 --> 00:04:09,671 Winston, do we... (chuckles) do we think now 94 00:04:09,672 --> 00:04:11,704 is really the right time to be starting a puzzle? 95 00:04:11,712 --> 00:04:12,849 (Laughs) I'm great at puzzles. 96 00:04:12,877 --> 00:04:16,071 You're a born puzzler, Winston, sure, um, but... 97 00:04:16,623 --> 00:04:19,806 don't you agree that sometimes, when you start puzzles, you get a little bit weird? 98 00:04:19,826 --> 00:04:21,880 And, I don't know, intense? 99 00:04:21,881 --> 00:04:22,830 (Humming) 100 00:04:22,838 --> 00:04:24,448 Spend a lot of time humming. 101 00:04:25,026 --> 00:04:28,520 - Also spend a lot of time naked. - ♪ I'm gonna do you, puzzle! ♪ 102 00:04:28,542 --> 00:04:29,548 Right on the table. 103 00:04:29,566 --> 00:04:32,066 As nasty as you want to be. Hey, Schmidt, what do you think it's gonna look like? 104 00:04:32,087 --> 00:04:33,299 What do I think it's going to look like...? 105 00:04:33,331 --> 00:04:35,281 - Yeah, the puzzle. - Winston, it's on the box. 106 00:04:35,370 --> 00:04:37,320 The... the picture's on the box. 107 00:04:37,363 --> 00:04:40,908 - It's a Japanese garden! - Schmidt, calm down. What is your problem? 108 00:04:42,668 --> 00:04:44,218 Two women are in love with me. 109 00:04:44,290 --> 00:04:45,981 The problem is, is I'm in love with both of them. 110 00:04:45,993 --> 00:04:47,512 Okay, looks like you're gonna have to choose. 111 00:04:47,535 --> 00:04:49,710 Cece and I, we have this connection. 112 00:04:49,856 --> 00:04:52,132 You know, it's physical... it's unhealthy. 113 00:04:52,139 --> 00:04:55,503 Look, I don't want to get too graphic with you, but I'm not just the plug with her. 114 00:04:55,571 --> 00:04:57,136 I'm also a socket. 115 00:04:57,186 --> 00:04:59,086 God... okay, fine. 116 00:04:59,111 --> 00:05:00,749 - Schmidt, choose Cece. - Yeah, but... 117 00:05:00,786 --> 00:05:03,180 - I was dating Elizabeth first, so... - Mm-hmm. 118 00:05:03,427 --> 00:05:05,634 Wait a minute... Winston... I was dating Elizabeth first. 119 00:05:05,688 --> 00:05:07,363 - You want to know what I think? - No, I don't. Done. 120 00:05:07,403 --> 00:05:08,988 Decided. Ha! 121 00:05:09,061 --> 00:05:10,092 Cece, out. 122 00:05:10,113 --> 00:05:11,238 I was dating Elizabeth first. 123 00:05:11,276 --> 00:05:12,941 - My man! Way to talk that out. - Yeah. 124 00:05:12,954 --> 00:05:14,591 - Best friends. - Best friends. 125 00:05:14,629 --> 00:05:17,583 - SCHMIDT: This is gonna work out, man. - Yeah, it's gonna work out, man. 126 00:05:21,471 --> 00:05:23,215 ♪ Puzzling ♪ 127 00:05:23,345 --> 00:05:26,447 ♪ Winston is about to do some puzzling ♪ 128 00:05:26,499 --> 00:05:29,768 ♪ About to get into some puzzle troubling ♪ 129 00:05:30,902 --> 00:05:32,594 So, in conclusion, 130 00:05:32,649 --> 00:05:34,921 it's a... you know, it's a very difficult decision 131 00:05:34,958 --> 00:05:37,726 that I've had to... that, you know, that you guys have put me in, 132 00:05:37,846 --> 00:05:39,460 here, but I just... I'm gonna be candid. 133 00:05:39,477 --> 00:05:42,737 I've been up for 24 hours. I have to return all of these gifts. 134 00:05:42,885 --> 00:05:44,352 So just say it. 135 00:05:44,527 --> 00:05:46,233 You don't want to be with me. 136 00:05:50,573 --> 00:05:51,586 Wh... 137 00:05:51,617 --> 00:05:53,055 huh? 138 00:05:55,024 --> 00:05:56,210 Look... look at that. 139 00:05:56,231 --> 00:05:59,267 I just looked down and I thought, "This girl must be wearing sneakers 140 00:05:59,284 --> 00:06:02,086 "with shoelaces, and th-those shoelaces must be tied together, 141 00:06:02,102 --> 00:06:05,482 because this girl is straight trippin', yo." 142 00:06:05,507 --> 00:06:07,942 - What? - Of course I want to be with you. 143 00:06:09,381 --> 00:06:11,068 (Chuckles) 144 00:06:13,207 --> 00:06:15,292 But I feel so terrible for Elizabeth. 145 00:06:15,359 --> 00:06:16,894 How did she take it? 146 00:06:18,984 --> 00:06:20,651 Sh... She took it. 147 00:06:21,926 --> 00:06:24,461 In the marketplace of ideas, where... 148 00:06:24,853 --> 00:06:28,447 culture is king, and data moves faster than people, 149 00:06:28,474 --> 00:06:30,816 where scalable opportunities come from turnkey solutions... 150 00:06:30,841 --> 00:06:33,412 What are you trying to say, Schmidt? Is it over? 151 00:06:34,765 --> 00:06:36,766 No... no. 152 00:06:37,006 --> 00:06:38,806 As if. 153 00:06:38,836 --> 00:06:40,558 Of course I picked you. It wasn't even close. 154 00:06:40,576 --> 00:06:42,927 Come here, you crazy white girl. 155 00:06:46,338 --> 00:06:47,747 There it is. 156 00:06:47,846 --> 00:06:50,924 - Poor Cece. - Uh, yeah, okay. 157 00:06:51,372 --> 00:06:52,573 (Lively Mexican music playing on radio) 158 00:06:52,590 --> 00:06:54,891 Oh... 159 00:06:55,370 --> 00:06:56,614 I fell asleep. 160 00:06:56,651 --> 00:06:59,130 - (Chuckles) - How long have you been driving? 161 00:07:01,508 --> 00:07:04,477 Those cops look like they're about 15 and they have huge guns. 162 00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:07,721 Jess, are we in Mexico? 163 00:07:09,051 --> 00:07:09,943 All in! 164 00:07:09,976 --> 00:07:11,602 - We're in Mexico! - (Laughs) 165 00:07:11,619 --> 00:07:14,767 Oh, my God, pull over! That piñata's shaped like a monkey! 166 00:07:17,643 --> 00:07:18,468 You know what? 167 00:07:18,494 --> 00:07:20,240 It's gonna be weird going back to having sex 168 00:07:20,241 --> 00:07:22,661 without a bunch of feral dogs watching. 169 00:07:22,686 --> 00:07:23,750 (Laughs) 170 00:07:23,867 --> 00:07:25,343 Why am I not hungry? 171 00:07:25,384 --> 00:07:26,556 I should be hungry. 172 00:07:26,587 --> 00:07:30,093 Remember when we lived in that loft, and, like, we had all those problems? 173 00:07:30,122 --> 00:07:31,322 (Laughing): Yeah. 174 00:07:31,350 --> 00:07:32,644 (Phone ringing) 175 00:07:36,845 --> 00:07:38,433 All in! 176 00:07:39,994 --> 00:07:41,323 Voice mail? 177 00:07:41,359 --> 00:07:42,342 Again? 178 00:07:42,373 --> 00:07:44,631 Where have you been? It's been four days, man. 179 00:07:44,697 --> 00:07:47,039 Have you really been doing it with Jess this whole time? 180 00:07:47,065 --> 00:07:48,407 That's disgusting. 181 00:07:49,708 --> 00:07:52,508 Nick, I did something really wrong, and, uh... 182 00:07:53,228 --> 00:07:56,177 I just... I need to talk to you. I need to talk to my friend. 183 00:07:56,249 --> 00:07:57,516 Come home. 184 00:08:01,165 --> 00:08:02,833 Yeah, I should try him again. 185 00:08:03,210 --> 00:08:05,571 Dial best friend... one. 186 00:08:08,535 --> 00:08:11,024 - Let's stay here. - We're totally out of money. 187 00:08:11,039 --> 00:08:12,689 - We got this great setup. - No, this is not 188 00:08:12,702 --> 00:08:14,546 - gonna last long. - It's not gonna last long. It isn't. 189 00:08:14,564 --> 00:08:17,177 This is a badly built shelter. 190 00:08:18,089 --> 00:08:19,614 We'll go right there. 191 00:08:19,689 --> 00:08:21,639 How hard could that place be to sneak into? 192 00:08:21,698 --> 00:08:22,631 You all in? 193 00:08:22,966 --> 00:08:24,455 JESS: Nick, this has been fun, but... 194 00:08:24,481 --> 00:08:27,911 Okay, look, everything that's bad is waiting for us back in the loft. 195 00:08:27,935 --> 00:08:28,842 But here? 196 00:08:28,867 --> 00:08:30,558 I'm Paradise Nick. 197 00:08:30,621 --> 00:08:33,182 And Paradise Nick is mega-chill. 198 00:08:33,201 --> 00:08:35,385 And you're Paradise Jess, right? 199 00:08:35,428 --> 00:08:37,389 We can make food and just... 200 00:08:41,808 --> 00:08:43,559 - All in. - All in. 201 00:08:46,237 --> 00:08:49,032 (Whispering): It don't work like that. If you... uh... 202 00:08:49,064 --> 00:08:50,098 (Scoffs) 203 00:08:50,745 --> 00:08:53,522 - Hey, man, how'd she take it? - Devastated. I'm sure glad that's settled. 204 00:08:53,550 --> 00:08:55,542 - Hey, man, I'm gonna go shower. - I'm proud of you. 205 00:08:55,577 --> 00:08:57,387 I know it must have been tough. 206 00:08:57,900 --> 00:09:00,418 Hey, Schmidt, who do you call if puzzle pieces are broken? 207 00:09:00,550 --> 00:09:02,697 Oh. Hey, Winston. Is, uh, is Schmidt home? 208 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:04,054 Cece. 209 00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:06,568 Oh, my goodness. Hi. 210 00:09:07,233 --> 00:09:08,597 Do you need a hug? 211 00:09:09,015 --> 00:09:09,921 All right. 212 00:09:09,981 --> 00:09:11,648 (Laughs, grunts) 213 00:09:12,289 --> 00:09:15,295 (Winston humming a jazzy tune) 214 00:09:16,983 --> 00:09:19,407 Is Schmidt even here, Winston? 215 00:09:20,315 --> 00:09:22,824 Yeah. Yeah, he's in the shower. Um... 216 00:09:22,976 --> 00:09:24,457 Cece, I just want to say, 217 00:09:24,535 --> 00:09:27,327 on my end, that I am so, so sorry. 218 00:09:27,429 --> 00:09:29,801 - CECE: Sorry about what? - You know, uh... Elizabeth. 219 00:09:29,865 --> 00:09:32,907 - Well, what about Elizabeth? - He made love to her. 220 00:09:34,266 --> 00:09:37,203 Winston made love to Elizabeth. 221 00:09:40,511 --> 00:09:43,695 After I chose you, Winston was all too quick, 222 00:09:43,709 --> 00:09:47,973 in Elizabeth's vulnerable state, to rush in there and just get his jollies off. 223 00:09:48,002 --> 00:09:51,437 His sweaty, disgusting jollies. 224 00:09:51,469 --> 00:09:52,518 Seriously? 225 00:09:52,542 --> 00:09:54,795 I mean, she must have just been so upset and hurt... 226 00:09:54,804 --> 00:09:56,655 I didn't even know you were interested in her. 227 00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:59,349 SCHMIDT: Tell her what you did, Winston, and give her the short version, 228 00:09:59,373 --> 00:10:01,532 which you did not give to Elizabeth. 229 00:10:01,585 --> 00:10:02,446 Wha...? 230 00:10:02,461 --> 00:10:04,586 What I did... um... 231 00:10:05,007 --> 00:10:08,184 Okay, well, I drove over there... 232 00:10:09,559 --> 00:10:11,019 to seduce her. 233 00:10:12,083 --> 00:10:14,146 And I seduced her... 234 00:10:14,687 --> 00:10:16,688 two and a half times. 235 00:10:18,129 --> 00:10:20,997 Puzzle me this, then, Winston... 236 00:10:21,364 --> 00:10:22,527 How do you live with yourself? 237 00:10:22,552 --> 00:10:27,188 I have a bit of a hard time believing that Winston would do this. 238 00:10:27,205 --> 00:10:29,461 SCHMIDT: Well, then, you obviously don't know Winston, 239 00:10:29,486 --> 00:10:31,913 'cause he's a sick, disgusting human being. 240 00:10:31,936 --> 00:10:35,551 Just this morning he asked me for a pair of your underpants. 241 00:10:35,914 --> 00:10:37,070 - Winston? - Hmm? 242 00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:38,480 Is that true? 243 00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:44,310 Yes. 244 00:10:45,315 --> 00:10:49,315 I needed your underwear to... 245 00:10:49,389 --> 00:10:52,407 sew into my underwear. 246 00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:54,775 Oh... my... 247 00:10:54,808 --> 00:10:55,700 God. 248 00:10:55,726 --> 00:10:57,989 That is disgusting! You are a pervert! 249 00:10:58,015 --> 00:11:00,127 SCHMIDT: Oh, I'm so sorry, Cece. Just wait in the car. 250 00:11:00,139 --> 00:11:03,891 You don't have to deal with this disgusting trash person, garbage child! 251 00:11:04,026 --> 00:11:05,426 (Door slams) 252 00:11:08,620 --> 00:11:09,945 You're upset. 253 00:11:10,102 --> 00:11:11,002 As you should be. 254 00:11:11,018 --> 00:11:13,818 - Oh, but that was great, man. - How long as this been going on, man? 255 00:11:13,839 --> 00:11:16,067 - Four days. - Four days, and you didn't tell me? 256 00:11:16,105 --> 00:11:18,269 Come on, Schmidt! I said, "Don't lie to me." 257 00:11:18,287 --> 00:11:20,113 I'm sorry. All right? 258 00:11:20,131 --> 00:11:21,889 I love both of these women and I couldn't decide. 259 00:11:21,901 --> 00:11:23,201 I needed to buy some more time. 260 00:11:23,230 --> 00:11:24,672 Cece thinks I'm wearing her panties right now! 261 00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:26,923 Well, that's on you, man! You freaked out super hard! 262 00:11:26,973 --> 00:11:29,143 You-you kidding me? That's so weird. 263 00:11:29,168 --> 00:11:31,290 Sewing people's panties into underpants. 264 00:11:31,306 --> 00:11:33,062 Look, we're not best friends, Schmidt. 265 00:11:33,125 --> 00:11:35,647 As a matter of fact, we're not friends at all... 266 00:11:36,064 --> 00:11:37,507 until you fix this. 267 00:11:37,561 --> 00:11:39,086 Okay, all right, look. 268 00:11:39,170 --> 00:11:40,770 Winston, I'm sorry, man. 269 00:11:41,009 --> 00:11:43,815 W-Winston, you've been working on this puzzle for quite some time now. 270 00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:46,509 You realize a lot of those puzzle pieces are upside down, right? 271 00:11:46,550 --> 00:11:48,195 It's just they're cardboard color. 272 00:11:48,413 --> 00:11:51,544 Is that an almond that you have inserted into one of the pieces? 273 00:11:51,575 --> 00:11:53,363 Are you just eating them, or are you using them as pieces? 274 00:11:53,387 --> 00:11:55,931 - You know that's an almond, right? - (Screaming) 275 00:11:55,959 --> 00:11:57,459 Schmidt, come here! 276 00:12:03,085 --> 00:12:04,066 Free cocktails. 277 00:12:04,098 --> 00:12:06,500 - No way! - Yeah, fitting right in. 278 00:12:07,740 --> 00:12:08,988 - Oh, my God. - What? 279 00:12:09,009 --> 00:12:10,159 Security guard. Freeze. 280 00:12:10,169 --> 00:12:11,911 Okay, don't freeze. That looks weird. Did he notice you? 281 00:12:11,936 --> 00:12:14,886 - Of course he noticed you. You're the prettiest girl on the damn beach. - Aww. 282 00:12:14,931 --> 00:12:17,612 Shut up. We need one of these bracelets right away, Jess. 283 00:12:17,629 --> 00:12:19,035 - Bracelet. - Yeah. 284 00:12:19,316 --> 00:12:21,279 Oh, hey! Hey... 285 00:12:21,299 --> 00:12:23,708 Hey, pal. That's a really cool bracelet. 286 00:12:23,750 --> 00:12:25,819 Do you think I could try it on? 287 00:12:25,951 --> 00:12:28,118 - No. - Listen to me, okay? 288 00:12:28,138 --> 00:12:30,172 Will you lean in here for a second and listen to me? 289 00:12:30,203 --> 00:12:32,421 One day, you're gonna meet a girl, you're gonna really like her, 290 00:12:32,444 --> 00:12:34,059 and you're gonna want to give her everything, 291 00:12:34,082 --> 00:12:36,689 but you won't be able to afford it because your life's kind of 292 00:12:36,702 --> 00:12:39,128 in shambles and you don't have money. 293 00:12:39,753 --> 00:12:41,916 Look at you, kid, you got a great-looking face. 294 00:12:41,926 --> 00:12:43,359 I don't know, you might have a tough go of it. 295 00:12:43,385 --> 00:12:45,273 What do I know? Just promise me this... 296 00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:47,241 Promise me you're gonna try to enjoy your life as much 297 00:12:47,277 --> 00:12:49,861 as you can, 'cause one day you're gonna be dead, and, you know. 298 00:12:49,948 --> 00:12:51,754 Can I have your bracelet, for real? 299 00:12:51,905 --> 00:12:52,704 No. 300 00:12:52,740 --> 00:12:56,009 If you don't give me the bracelet, I'm gonna strangle you to death. 301 00:12:58,249 --> 00:12:59,575 - Thanks, buddy. - Not cool. 302 00:12:59,591 --> 00:13:01,932 But it worked, okay? We got the bracelet, so now we're back in action. 303 00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:03,471 - Hola. - JESS: Hola. 304 00:13:03,539 --> 00:13:05,039 Can I see your bracelets, por favor? 305 00:13:05,073 --> 00:13:05,961 Yes. 306 00:13:05,995 --> 00:13:07,729 Looks pretty on her, right? 307 00:13:08,552 --> 00:13:10,052 Señor? 308 00:13:10,620 --> 00:13:12,063 - Run! - JESS: No! 309 00:13:12,084 --> 00:13:12,994 (Guard speaks Spanish) 310 00:13:13,013 --> 00:13:15,413 I don't speak Spanish, you snake! 311 00:13:16,071 --> 00:13:18,000 What are you gonna do? I'm in the ocean now! 312 00:13:18,028 --> 00:13:20,062 I'm in international waters! 313 00:13:21,658 --> 00:13:24,152 - I've got a shell. - Let's just go. Let's just get out of here. 314 00:13:24,175 --> 00:13:25,471 - Point Break style? - No, no, no! 315 00:13:25,495 --> 00:13:28,745 - I will Point Break style this moment! - Nick, let's go! 316 00:13:28,939 --> 00:13:30,582 Nick, stop! 317 00:13:31,216 --> 00:13:32,850 Aah! Ow! 318 00:13:34,074 --> 00:13:35,305 (Nick sobbing) 319 00:13:35,338 --> 00:13:37,032 - Ow, that hurt! - Wait! 320 00:13:37,115 --> 00:13:38,901 Where are you taking him?! 321 00:13:39,290 --> 00:13:40,822 - Jail. - JESS: Aah! 322 00:13:44,536 --> 00:13:48,318 (Winston singing quietly) 323 00:13:48,753 --> 00:13:50,576 Truce, okay? 324 00:13:52,611 --> 00:13:56,135 Winston, please, come on... Talk to me. I... 325 00:13:56,932 --> 00:13:58,504 I need a friend right now. 326 00:13:58,584 --> 00:14:00,064 I love both of these women, 327 00:14:00,090 --> 00:14:02,604 and I can't lose them, and I can't... 328 00:14:02,867 --> 00:14:04,392 hurt them. 329 00:14:04,917 --> 00:14:06,930 - And we made a pact! - No. 330 00:14:06,944 --> 00:14:08,627 You lied to me. You're a liar. 331 00:14:08,657 --> 00:14:10,546 Okay, well, then would you like some truth, Winston? 332 00:14:10,568 --> 00:14:13,538 Here's some truth for you, okay? You're terrible at puzzles. 333 00:14:13,595 --> 00:14:16,845 Worst I've ever seen by a mile. What, do you have fly vision? 334 00:14:16,882 --> 00:14:19,567 Look at this puzzle. It's ages six and up. 335 00:14:19,635 --> 00:14:20,864 You are up, Winston. 336 00:14:20,892 --> 00:14:22,753 - You are way up! - You want to say that to my face? 337 00:14:22,771 --> 00:14:24,486 This is a corner piece, Winston! 338 00:14:24,519 --> 00:14:26,244 How do you not see that? What are you, blind?! 339 00:14:26,274 --> 00:14:29,246 I'm so sorry... actually, a blind man could feel 340 00:14:29,276 --> 00:14:33,609 - the smooth edges of a corner piece! - You are making me so mad. 341 00:14:33,617 --> 00:14:36,209 - Ooh, you are making me so mad. - Oh, yeah? 342 00:14:36,236 --> 00:14:36,944 You're making me... 343 00:14:36,968 --> 00:14:38,422 How am I making you...? Am I making you...? 344 00:14:38,459 --> 00:14:40,079 - Yes, you're making me mad. - What you want to do? 345 00:14:40,095 --> 00:14:41,573 - What are you doing? - What are you doing? 346 00:14:41,584 --> 00:14:44,165 Which way are you going? What is happening? 347 00:14:44,198 --> 00:14:46,026 - Ow! - What did you do? 348 00:14:46,314 --> 00:14:50,003 Don't mess with me, man. I'm legit. I'm legit, dude. 349 00:14:50,275 --> 00:14:51,977 - I'm getting very dizzy. - You coming at me, son? 350 00:14:51,995 --> 00:14:54,875 I need all the cash you have and Nick's passport! 351 00:14:56,076 --> 00:14:58,056 - What'd you say? What? - Nick's in trouble? 352 00:14:58,789 --> 00:15:01,085 SCHMIDT: What are we doing? Nick is in jail? 353 00:15:01,134 --> 00:15:03,593 WINSTON: Nick went to jail before me? (Winston laughing) 354 00:15:03,635 --> 00:15:05,369 (Overlapping arguing) 355 00:15:05,371 --> 00:15:06,228 (Bell dinging) 356 00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:07,625 Hey, stop it! Stop it! 357 00:15:07,649 --> 00:15:10,489 This is not the time for fighting. Nick is in a Mexican jail. 358 00:15:10,514 --> 00:15:12,690 We don't know this country. We don't know their laws. 359 00:15:12,699 --> 00:15:14,349 We don't know how to get him out. 360 00:15:14,380 --> 00:15:17,834 I just hope he found somebody who can protect him and take care of him. 361 00:15:17,865 --> 00:15:19,166 What, you hope he's somebody's bitch? 362 00:15:19,194 --> 00:15:21,607 - No, like a mentor. - He'd never be picked as a bitch. 363 00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:23,642 Nick is very attractive. He can be a bitch. 364 00:15:23,659 --> 00:15:24,788 A sissy, perhaps, but a bitch? 365 00:15:24,814 --> 00:15:26,604 - He can be a bitch. - He cannot be a bitch. 366 00:15:26,627 --> 00:15:28,133 - My God, what's a sissy? - Are you insane? 367 00:15:28,150 --> 00:15:30,230 - A chubby gringo? - Stop it! 368 00:15:31,008 --> 00:15:32,521 Nick is my bitch. 369 00:15:32,774 --> 00:15:33,661 (Bell dings) 370 00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:35,276 Hola, señores, señora. 371 00:15:35,307 --> 00:15:37,101 Hi. Um, we have some questions. 372 00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:39,621 Jess, I got this. I know how to handle these people. 373 00:15:41,101 --> 00:15:41,814 Is this for me? 374 00:15:41,829 --> 00:15:43,428 That's for you to send your kids to college, 375 00:15:43,448 --> 00:15:45,519 or for you to send some fun up your nose. 376 00:15:45,693 --> 00:15:47,099 SCHMIDT: Your choice, bro. 377 00:15:47,140 --> 00:15:49,896 Don't worry. We're looking for our friend Nick Miller... 378 00:15:49,917 --> 00:15:53,052 if he's still alive, and his head... if it's separate. 379 00:15:53,724 --> 00:15:55,499 You know who you should talk to? 380 00:15:55,524 --> 00:15:56,580 Manny. 381 00:15:56,606 --> 00:15:57,906 - Manny. - Manny. 382 00:15:58,904 --> 00:16:00,704 (Quietly): Talk to Julio. 383 00:16:00,812 --> 00:16:02,212 - Julio. - Julio. 384 00:16:03,799 --> 00:16:04,743 Talk to Brad. 385 00:16:04,761 --> 00:16:06,161 I don't really feel right about this. 386 00:16:06,180 --> 00:16:08,669 Oh, Jess, you're so naive. It's a game. 387 00:16:08,686 --> 00:16:12,331 We're working our way up the ladder. Brad is clearly the kingpin. 388 00:16:13,981 --> 00:16:15,681 Thanks so much. 389 00:16:16,983 --> 00:16:18,096 (Jess sighs) 390 00:16:18,119 --> 00:16:20,063 Okay, that didn't work. Next idea. 391 00:16:20,086 --> 00:16:22,854 - There are no next ideas, Schmidt! - Well... 392 00:16:23,188 --> 00:16:25,642 We're out of money! I need to just find somebody. 393 00:16:26,028 --> 00:16:27,861 - Oh, just find somebody? - Yes. 394 00:16:27,884 --> 00:16:30,522 Right, Jess, 'cause the streets down here - they run red with hospitality. 395 00:16:30,547 --> 00:16:32,085 Hey! Hey! 396 00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:34,560 Hi. Sorry. I met you yesterday. 397 00:16:34,592 --> 00:16:36,586 You arrested a man named Nick Miller. 398 00:16:36,615 --> 00:16:38,981 - You got money? - Money. No, we don't have any money. 399 00:16:38,995 --> 00:16:40,299 But wait, wait, wait! 400 00:16:40,318 --> 00:16:42,002 What about his shoes? Any interest in his shoes? 401 00:16:42,045 --> 00:16:44,744 Hell no! There's no way you're getting these damn shoes, okay? 402 00:16:44,776 --> 00:16:47,648 These are my favorite brown shoes. And besides, this is all your fault, Schmidt. 403 00:16:47,679 --> 00:16:50,192 Nick's body's being traded like cigarettes right now! 404 00:16:50,214 --> 00:16:52,189 Winston, those shoes are not brown... they're green. 405 00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:54,189 - What the hell you talking about, man? - Those shoes are green. 406 00:16:54,207 --> 00:16:56,262 You guys are idiots, all right? They're as brown as money. 407 00:16:56,288 --> 00:16:58,586 - What color is Kermit the Frog? - Brown. 408 00:16:58,616 --> 00:17:01,695 - It's a brown frog. - Winston, you're color-blind, dude. 409 00:17:01,711 --> 00:17:02,736 What? I am not color... 410 00:17:02,761 --> 00:17:04,556 - I am not color-blind. - Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. 411 00:17:04,581 --> 00:17:07,044 Sir, I'm so sorry. We have no money. 412 00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:10,178 - We don't even have money for gas. - Oh, you got a car. 413 00:17:10,961 --> 00:17:12,083 Want to trade? 414 00:17:15,829 --> 00:17:17,998 - Hey. - Oh, my God, 415 00:17:18,174 --> 00:17:20,019 I thought he was taking you to jail. 416 00:17:20,052 --> 00:17:23,135 No, it's resort jail, and it's not so bad. They let me watch Ugly Betty. 417 00:17:23,150 --> 00:17:24,674 Here, I brought you your passport. 418 00:17:24,702 --> 00:17:26,128 - Winston, enough! - Enough for me! 419 00:17:26,168 --> 00:17:27,831 Oh, Nicholas, thank goodness you're alive. 420 00:17:27,850 --> 00:17:29,419 You brought them? (Rapid, overlapping chatter) 421 00:17:29,478 --> 00:17:30,891 I needed their help. 422 00:17:30,927 --> 00:17:32,869 - Winston does not get me at all. - What? 423 00:17:32,893 --> 00:17:35,050 And, plus, he's color-blind, which basically makes him crippled. 424 00:17:35,070 --> 00:17:37,243 - Color-blind? - Please, tell me... these shoes are brown, right? 425 00:17:37,266 --> 00:17:38,991 - Those shoes are green. - They're definitely green. 426 00:17:39,025 --> 00:17:40,544 Okay, you both are crazy. 427 00:17:40,566 --> 00:17:41,529 - Winston! - What? 428 00:17:41,562 --> 00:17:44,830 If you think those shoes are brown, what color do you think you are? 429 00:17:47,631 --> 00:17:48,888 Jess, I can't do this. 430 00:17:48,927 --> 00:17:50,970 Do you really want to wake up to this every morning? 431 00:17:50,995 --> 00:17:53,192 It doesn't matter, as long as I wake up next to you. 432 00:17:53,206 --> 00:17:55,444 I got an idea. Let's move to Mexico. 433 00:17:56,152 --> 00:17:57,002 - What? - Yeah! 434 00:17:57,027 --> 00:17:58,183 - Hell no! - Nicolas, I need you. 435 00:17:58,193 --> 00:18:00,926 If you leave, then I'm with Winston, and I can't handle that. 436 00:18:00,938 --> 00:18:02,269 You and me, we work here. 437 00:18:02,279 --> 00:18:03,979 If we go back to the loft, we're not gonna make it. 438 00:18:04,008 --> 00:18:05,733 Yes, we are. We are gonna make it. 439 00:18:05,758 --> 00:18:08,138 - You won't. He's 100% right. You will not. - Yeah, I agree. 440 00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:09,961 I'm not ready to lose you. 441 00:18:10,190 --> 00:18:12,603 I just got you, Jess. 442 00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:14,940 And I'm not letting you go. 443 00:18:15,204 --> 00:18:16,702 So... 444 00:18:17,294 --> 00:18:18,795 I'm all in. 445 00:18:20,202 --> 00:18:22,697 I'm shredding this passport. I'm not leaving Mexico. 446 00:18:22,722 --> 00:18:24,869 - Oh, no, you are not, sir! - No, no, no, wait, wait! 447 00:18:24,890 --> 00:18:27,310 I will put myself in that shredder before you put your passport in there! 448 00:18:27,322 --> 00:18:28,774 WINSTON: Yeah, well, yeah, yeah, switch! 449 00:18:28,792 --> 00:18:30,917 - Put yourself in there. - Stop! Stop, Nick! 450 00:18:30,955 --> 00:18:32,611 I will shred my ear! I'll do it! 451 00:18:32,630 --> 00:18:34,919 - Your ear could go in! - I will shred myself! 452 00:18:34,944 --> 00:18:36,050 I will shred myself in the shredder. 453 00:18:36,075 --> 00:18:37,100 - Get serious! - (Jess yells) 454 00:18:37,139 --> 00:18:39,664 Stop. Listen to me. 455 00:18:40,601 --> 00:18:42,435 We're a family. 456 00:18:43,673 --> 00:18:46,148 You can't choose who you love. Sometimes they choose you. 457 00:18:46,183 --> 00:18:50,751 And sometimes, it's just because you got a really great deal on Craigslist. 458 00:18:51,550 --> 00:18:54,359 (Laughing): I got a really great deal on Craigslist. 459 00:18:54,374 --> 00:18:55,908 I got all of you. 460 00:18:58,219 --> 00:19:01,888 There is no "us" without Schmidt and Winston. 461 00:19:03,183 --> 00:19:05,334 It's gonna be really, really hard. 462 00:19:05,435 --> 00:19:07,003 But so what, Nick? 463 00:19:07,532 --> 00:19:08,832 So what? 464 00:19:08,854 --> 00:19:11,322 I believe in us. 465 00:19:11,532 --> 00:19:13,433 I'm all in. 466 00:19:14,683 --> 00:19:16,524 I really want to go home. 467 00:19:16,575 --> 00:19:18,371 (Giggles) 468 00:19:18,911 --> 00:19:20,888 Come on, man, let's just go home. 469 00:19:20,924 --> 00:19:22,576 (Sighs) 470 00:19:23,728 --> 00:19:25,853 - You know what? I love you guys. - - WINSTON: Okay. 471 00:19:25,872 --> 00:19:26,928 Let's go home. 472 00:19:26,934 --> 00:19:27,968 (Laughing): Great. 473 00:19:28,002 --> 00:19:29,721 (Both laughing) (Whirring) 474 00:19:29,965 --> 00:19:30,931 Oh, my God! 475 00:19:31,692 --> 00:19:32,610 No! 476 00:19:32,635 --> 00:19:33,829 (All shouting at once) 477 00:19:33,866 --> 00:19:35,467 Get it out! Get it out! 478 00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:36,508 (Shouting) 479 00:19:36,542 --> 00:19:38,410 (Screams) Unplug it, Nick! 480 00:19:38,477 --> 00:19:42,765 - The shredder shredded it, bro. - No, no, no, no, guys, we're fine. 481 00:19:45,113 --> 00:19:46,609 I can work with this. 482 00:19:46,629 --> 00:19:47,930 (Chuckles) 483 00:19:49,789 --> 00:19:52,723 SCHMIDT: Okay, everybody. Just be cool. Act normal. 484 00:19:54,306 --> 00:19:57,129 U.S. citizens? Passports, please. 485 00:19:58,830 --> 00:20:00,418 What is this? 486 00:20:02,803 --> 00:20:06,038 Sir, my name is Winston Bishop. 487 00:20:06,454 --> 00:20:09,379 I'm a color-blind American citizen, 488 00:20:09,751 --> 00:20:11,318 and I can't do puzzles. 489 00:20:11,683 --> 00:20:13,627 Now let us go home. 490 00:20:13,850 --> 00:20:17,119 It says "Unatered Stites of Amurica." 491 00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:20,519 - (Nick sighs) - (Sighs) 492 00:20:20,924 --> 00:20:22,483 (Laughs) 493 00:20:23,087 --> 00:20:24,321 You ready? 494 00:20:24,805 --> 00:20:26,530 (Laughing) 495 00:20:26,707 --> 00:20:28,520 - (Grunting) - (Laughs) 496 00:20:28,597 --> 00:20:30,716 - Hey, I got you something, actually. - Oh. 497 00:20:30,846 --> 00:20:33,295 I mean, I stole it from a kid, but... 498 00:20:36,839 --> 00:20:38,252 (Sighs) 499 00:20:38,901 --> 00:20:39,926 We can do this. 500 00:20:39,956 --> 00:20:41,636 - Yeah, we can do this. - Yeah. 501 00:20:42,347 --> 00:20:43,648 All right. 502 00:20:43,695 --> 00:20:45,396 - Yeah. - Here we go, huh? 503 00:20:46,527 --> 00:20:48,408 It's locked. I think somebody accidentally locked this. 504 00:20:48,438 --> 00:20:50,303 - Where's your key? - I don't carry a key. 505 00:20:50,328 --> 00:20:52,844 - You don't carry a key? - No, I don't carry a... 506 00:20:52,878 --> 00:20:54,964 Why would I carry a key? There's always somebody home! 507 00:20:55,007 --> 00:20:56,450 And I know how to jimmy the... 508 00:20:56,484 --> 00:20:57,885 Mmm, my God... 509 00:21:00,113 --> 00:21:01,182 JESS: I like you so much. 510 00:21:01,201 --> 00:21:04,049 - I like you, too. And I'll start carrying a key. - Okay, I'll carry a key for you. 511 00:21:05,685 --> 00:21:07,896 For the love of God, Winston, please just go unlock the door. 512 00:21:07,918 --> 00:21:10,280 - This is so weird. - NICK: Yeah... 513 00:21:10,413 --> 00:21:13,410 Sayonara, masturbation, for the rest of my life. 514 00:21:14,033 --> 00:21:15,934 Hey, Cece, it's Schmidt. 515 00:21:16,293 --> 00:21:17,560 Hi. 516 00:21:17,762 --> 00:21:20,212 You want me to come over tonight? I think I can make that work. 517 00:21:20,225 --> 00:21:22,611 Uh, can you give me, like, five minutes? 518 00:21:22,691 --> 00:21:25,356 Great. Um... ooh, actually, could you hold on one second? 519 00:21:26,632 --> 00:21:27,377 (Laughs) 520 00:21:27,402 --> 00:21:30,427 Hi, Elizabeth, my darling. How are you? 521 00:21:30,601 --> 00:21:32,790 Uh, tonight? You want to... tonight. 522 00:21:32,811 --> 00:21:36,256 Um, could you just give me one second so I can check my calendar? That'd be great. 523 00:21:40,229 --> 00:21:42,563 I just checked it, and, uh... 524 00:21:42,603 --> 00:21:45,233 it looks like there's a slight problem. Um... 525 00:21:45,246 --> 00:21:46,127 (Clears throat) 526 00:21:46,196 --> 00:21:47,752 ♪ Puzzling ♪ 527 00:21:48,044 --> 00:21:49,380 ♪ I am puzzling... ♪ 528 00:21:49,403 --> 00:21:50,879 Looks good to me. 529 00:21:52,272 --> 00:21:55,189 ♪ This is my masterpiece ♪ 530 00:21:55,246 --> 00:21:59,246 Sync and corrected by Elderfel www.addic7ed.com Resync for WEB-DL by Norther