1
00:00:18,966 --> 00:00:21,321
- Just use 'em, dude.
- I'm not going to
2
00:00:21,344 --> 00:00:24,054
wear gloves while I work!
I'm sorry, it makes no sense.
3
00:00:24,072 --> 00:00:25,426
It absolutely
makes sense--
4
00:00:25,448 --> 00:00:28,544
you're a janitor who snakes
toilets with his bare hands.
5
00:00:28,569 --> 00:00:30,308
So my hands get a little
dirty from time to time.
6
00:00:30,323 --> 00:00:32,623
I appreciate the concern, but
I'm fine.
7
00:00:32,817 --> 00:00:34,850
It's not for you!
It's for us!
8
00:00:34,894 --> 00:00:36,407
- Use gloves!
- Use gloves.
9
00:00:36,430 --> 00:00:38,870
Oh, look at this.
Check it out.
10
00:00:39,113 --> 00:00:43,104
The Restaurant and Bar Association's
Best Bar Award is coming up.
11
00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:44,390
We could get nominated.
12
00:00:44,425 --> 00:00:46,781
Frank, we never get
nominated for awards, okay?
13
00:00:46,798 --> 00:00:48,317
And we don't give a shit
because they're stupid.
14
00:00:48,341 --> 00:00:50,078
Yeah, we don't care about
that kind of stuff, all right?
15
00:00:50,093 --> 00:00:52,546
Look, am I curious as to why
we never get nominated?
16
00:00:52,574 --> 00:00:55,204
Sure, yeah. Do I care?
Not in the slightest.
17
00:00:55,222 --> 00:00:57,724
No, I don't care about it, you know?
I mean, all right,
18
00:00:57,749 --> 00:01:01,247
- it is a little odd we've never
been nominated. - Yes, it's odd.
19
00:01:01,269 --> 00:01:03,144
At some point it becomes a
little aggressive.
20
00:01:03,165 --> 00:01:05,332
So what is it?
We don't deserve it?
21
00:01:05,635 --> 00:01:07,273
- We're not cool enough?
- Whoa.
22
00:01:07,293 --> 00:01:11,124
Whoa, okay, Frank. Now, if... if I do
something, you better believe it's cool.
23
00:01:11,143 --> 00:01:12,499
Yeah, if I'm gonna put
my name on something,
24
00:01:12,534 --> 00:01:13,687
it's gonna be
award-worthy, you know.
25
00:01:13,725 --> 00:01:16,447
I can't imagine that other people
are doing what we're doing better.
26
00:01:16,465 --> 00:01:18,787
- I mean, it's serving up drinks.
- It's just upsetting.
27
00:01:18,842 --> 00:01:20,237
I'm sorry, I'm getting upset.
28
00:01:20,668 --> 00:01:24,267
If-if you want to get a nomination,
you got to play the game.
29
00:01:24,292 --> 00:01:27,053
Nah, I don't want to play a game
to get an award. That feels lame.
30
00:01:27,075 --> 00:01:29,348
It is lame. Oh,
is that your ass?
31
00:01:29,561 --> 00:01:32,042
Oh, closer to the hole, sir?
32
00:01:32,610 --> 00:01:36,710
You know what's lame? Being around
this long and never getting an award.
33
00:01:37,085 --> 00:01:40,018
- Makes you look like a bunch of assholes.
- Hmm.
34
00:01:40,180 --> 00:01:42,400
You're really, like, driving
this home, and it's upsetting,
35
00:01:42,424 --> 00:01:43,909
because, like, now I'm
getting the neck thing.
36
00:01:43,943 --> 00:01:45,790
I feel... I feel...
I'm getting upset.
37
00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:48,481
- Yeah, your neck's going nuts?
- Yeah! You're getting that?
38
00:01:48,737 --> 00:01:50,293
They're making me
feel like an asshole.
39
00:01:50,309 --> 00:01:51,990
They are making us
feel like assholes.
40
00:01:52,007 --> 00:01:54,195
All right, you know what, we'll
play the game, I'll kiss ass.
41
00:01:54,226 --> 00:01:56,576
- Yeah, let's play the game.
- I'm okay with it, because who cares?
42
00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:58,469
All right, fine,
let's play the game.
43
00:01:58,473 --> 00:02:00,185
But I want to be very clear
about something.
44
00:02:00,982 --> 00:02:02,982
This literally means
nothing to me.
45
00:02:15,858 --> 00:02:25,858
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
46
00:02:27,642 --> 00:02:30,450
- This office sucks.
- It smells bad and it's stuffy in here.
47
00:02:30,478 --> 00:02:33,640
Yeah, it's the Restaurant and Bar
Association, it's a stuffy organization.
48
00:02:33,657 --> 00:02:35,545
They're not in touch with
the young people like us.
49
00:02:35,567 --> 00:02:37,790
Some old boner gives me attitude,
I'm gonna spit in his face.
50
00:02:37,809 --> 00:02:39,287
He starts giving me
shit, I'll spit at him.
51
00:02:39,309 --> 00:02:41,851
- We should all spit.
- Look, we're not spitting, all right?
52
00:02:41,866 --> 00:02:44,966
Just keep your mouth shut and let me
do the talking. I know what I'm doing.
53
00:02:45,557 --> 00:02:47,826
Sorry, sorry to
keep you waiting.
54
00:02:47,853 --> 00:02:49,657
Frank Reynolds, Paddy's Pub.
55
00:02:49,734 --> 00:02:51,300
These are my associates.
56
00:02:51,329 --> 00:02:53,416
Stand up, show him some respect.
57
00:02:53,441 --> 00:02:56,429
- I stand for no one. - Please, it's
not necessary. Have a seat.
58
00:02:56,449 --> 00:02:58,193
You heard the man-- sit down.
59
00:02:58,245 --> 00:03:00,384
Well, now I feel like standing.
60
00:03:02,132 --> 00:03:03,790
But I don't want to stand
through an entire meeting
61
00:03:03,791 --> 00:03:07,132
'cause I don't know how long it's gonna
last, so I'll sit down. It's my choice.
62
00:03:07,425 --> 00:03:12,263
With much dignity and grace, we've come
to talk to you about the Best Bar Award.
63
00:03:12,288 --> 00:03:15,888
Now, in the past, our
group has not...
64
00:03:16,113 --> 00:03:22,554
paid you any attention, but now
we are prepared to pay...
65
00:03:22,748 --> 00:03:26,351
you what you deserve...
in attention,
66
00:03:26,507 --> 00:03:28,407
if you get my drift.
67
00:03:28,594 --> 00:03:29,776
I don't.
68
00:03:29,795 --> 00:03:32,912
- Ponder lettuce and shrimp.
- Excuse me?
69
00:03:32,939 --> 00:03:35,822
He's inviting you out to lunch, Bozo--
you gonna go or not, yes or no?
70
00:03:35,839 --> 00:03:37,748
Actually, it's 3:30
in the afternoon--
71
00:03:37,767 --> 00:03:39,011
I've already eaten.
72
00:03:39,029 --> 00:03:40,334
This dickhead doesn't
want a second lun...
73
00:03:40,359 --> 00:03:42,262
He's being offered lettuce and shrimp,
he doesn't want to eat lunch.
74
00:03:42,274 --> 00:03:44,446
- You eat once a day?
- Hey, everybody, I had food.
75
00:03:44,463 --> 00:03:45,876
All right, you know
what, I am out of here.
76
00:03:45,894 --> 00:03:49,094
I don't need this limpdick telling me
whether my bar's cool, okay?
77
00:03:49,113 --> 00:03:51,026
No, no, no! No spitting.
78
00:03:51,053 --> 00:03:54,273
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
79
00:03:54,864 --> 00:03:59,028
Look, how much is it gonna
cost us to get on the ballot?
80
00:03:59,223 --> 00:04:00,624
- Ten dollars.
- Huh?
81
00:04:00,645 --> 00:04:05,151
The entry fee is ten dollars. All you
have to do is fill out the-the paperwork.
82
00:04:05,183 --> 00:04:07,389
Why have we never
received this form?
83
00:04:07,421 --> 00:04:11,119
Well, we've-we've actually s-sent you
the form many times in the past,
84
00:04:11,144 --> 00:04:16,423
and as I recall, it always comes back
covered in fecal matter, urine, and...
85
00:04:16,554 --> 00:04:18,366
- racial slurs.
- Oh.
86
00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:20,413
- That's a joke.
- Hey, you know, that's just,
87
00:04:20,422 --> 00:04:21,852
like, all in good fun, man.
88
00:04:21,877 --> 00:04:24,233
That's just our sense of
humor-- you'll get us.
89
00:04:24,258 --> 00:04:27,715
- Shut up! Let bygones be bygones.
- Right, right.
90
00:04:27,716 --> 00:04:30,379
We're here now
to play the game.
91
00:04:30,410 --> 00:04:34,046
- Yes. Playing the game.
- I assume you take cash.
92
00:04:35,219 --> 00:04:37,207
Oh! So sorry.
93
00:04:37,251 --> 00:04:39,498
That wasn't meant for you,
that was actually meant for you.
94
00:04:39,505 --> 00:04:42,042
- Yeah, that was meant for him. - We thought
maybe you would think that was funny.
95
00:04:42,055 --> 00:04:44,671
Yeah, if it exploded in your face, but
I can tell by the look on your face
96
00:04:44,672 --> 00:04:47,433
- that you don't think that's funny. That's
not your style. - Yeah. That's a shame.
97
00:04:47,452 --> 00:04:48,856
Yeah, that's sort of
our sense of humor.
98
00:04:48,875 --> 00:04:50,084
Guys, he's not gonna get us.
99
00:04:50,109 --> 00:04:52,965
- I think we got to get out of here,
right? - All right, guy.
100
00:04:55,028 --> 00:04:59,091
What'd I say, idiots? You want to get
nominated, you gotta play the game.
101
00:04:59,109 --> 00:05:01,209
- We are playing the game, Frank.
- Nah, you're not playing...
102
00:05:01,211 --> 00:05:03,124
We're just not vibing with
that guy, he's a stiff.
103
00:05:03,142 --> 00:05:06,005
We were vibrating, but maybe at a
different frequency than that guy.
104
00:05:06,045 --> 00:05:08,583
- I like that. - Frank is right. No, Frank
is right, though. We're too fringe.
105
00:05:08,602 --> 00:05:10,190
I mean, yeah, it's given
us a lot of street cred,
106
00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:12,755
but I think we've alienated a
lot of people in this town.
107
00:05:12,782 --> 00:05:16,991
Yeah, you-you want to win awards, you gotta
campaign for it. It's an industry award.
108
00:05:17,018 --> 00:05:18,802
It's true. Like,
we know we're cool
109
00:05:18,824 --> 00:05:21,996
and our customers know we're cool,
but the industry doesn't get it yet.
110
00:05:22,026 --> 00:05:24,645
All right, you know what? Can you guys
actually drop me off back at the bar?
111
00:05:24,669 --> 00:05:28,290
- I'm gonna go work on the Best Song.
- What Best Song?
112
00:05:28,515 --> 00:05:31,729
- The Best Song Award.
- There is no Best Song Award.
113
00:05:31,736 --> 00:05:32,958
What are you talking about?
114
00:05:32,977 --> 00:05:35,007
Well, that's all the more reason
to do a Best Song, right?
115
00:05:35,017 --> 00:05:36,511
We'll be the only
bar who did it,
116
00:05:36,536 --> 00:05:38,461
and that's a good chance
we'll cover all the bases.
117
00:05:38,499 --> 00:05:41,613
- I tell you what: let's drop
him off either way. - Okay.
118
00:05:41,642 --> 00:05:43,267
- That sounds good.
- Good idea, Charlie.
119
00:05:43,286 --> 00:05:45,115
- Good idea, come on.
- What?
120
00:05:56,067 --> 00:05:59,119
I can't believe that this
place won Best Bar.
121
00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:02,505
- I mean, who comes to this place?
- A shitload of people.
122
00:06:02,792 --> 00:06:04,857
Sudz is a super-popular place.
123
00:06:04,868 --> 00:06:06,981
I can't believe how bright
it is in here. I don't like it.
124
00:06:06,994 --> 00:06:09,550
Yeah. And what's with all
the loud, fake colors?
125
00:06:09,575 --> 00:06:11,688
- I mean, where's the subtlety?
- All right, let's go grab a drink.
126
00:06:11,713 --> 00:06:13,882
- We'll suss out the competition.
- I'm gonna go find a manager,
127
00:06:13,898 --> 00:06:16,666
introduce myself, give
him this swag bag.
128
00:06:16,735 --> 00:06:17,779
What's in that bag?
129
00:06:17,818 --> 00:06:20,022
Ah, it's just this stuff I
had our names printed on.
130
00:06:20,041 --> 00:06:22,635
I got a bottle opener,
a keychain, egg.
131
00:06:22,660 --> 00:06:25,255
- Why would you give him an egg?
- It's like a paperweight.
132
00:06:25,450 --> 00:06:27,763
Trust me, Deandra,
people eat this shit up.
133
00:06:27,767 --> 00:06:30,439
Look, you gotta play the game.
I know how to do it.
134
00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:31,950
Right.
Good luck.
135
00:06:31,973 --> 00:06:33,743
- Let's get a drink.
- Yep.
136
00:06:34,331 --> 00:06:36,191
Hey, guys.
How you doing?
137
00:06:36,204 --> 00:06:38,719
My name is Greg; I'll be your
bartender tonight.
138
00:06:38,738 --> 00:06:41,082
You ever been to Sudz before?
139
00:06:41,111 --> 00:06:42,617
- You wish.
- Don't think so, pal.
140
00:06:42,642 --> 00:06:45,263
Okay, well, welcome, then.
For our first-timers,
141
00:06:45,282 --> 00:06:48,943
I like to recommend our blended
signature cocktail, The Blue Hole.
142
00:06:48,961 --> 00:06:51,230
It's served with three
straws in a fishbowl.
143
00:06:51,293 --> 00:06:52,277
It's pretty darn good.
144
00:06:52,302 --> 00:06:55,201
Some people say it's better
than an orgasm.
145
00:06:55,313 --> 00:06:56,908
Not that he's ever had one.
146
00:06:56,934 --> 00:06:58,815
Oh!
147
00:06:59,383 --> 00:07:02,181
Okay, Maxwell, remind me to
find a new best friend.
148
00:07:02,218 --> 00:07:04,556
Aw! Ee-aw!
149
00:07:04,695 --> 00:07:06,099
Ugh.
150
00:07:06,355 --> 00:07:10,351
- Two margaritas for table six, Greg.
- Hey, Amanda, what's wrong?
151
00:07:10,494 --> 00:07:13,618
Let me guess. Your boyfriend
canceled on you again.
152
00:07:13,643 --> 00:07:17,006
Conference got extended.
What can I say? He loves his work.
153
00:07:17,073 --> 00:07:20,953
Well, I think he should spend
a little less time on his work
154
00:07:20,972 --> 00:07:25,138
- and a little more time on you.
- Aw...
155
00:07:25,163 --> 00:07:26,878
Thanks. You're so sweet. Hmm.
156
00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:30,675
- What in the hell is happening?
- I don't know. What are they doing?
157
00:07:30,695 --> 00:07:33,271
Okay, sorry about that.
So, one Blue Hole?
158
00:07:33,401 --> 00:07:36,670
Uh, well, let's see. There's
three of us, so, three drinks.
159
00:07:36,710 --> 00:07:39,038
Yeah, well, they're generally
shared, 'cause they're pretty big.
160
00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:41,065
- Said three, dick bag.
- Get three!
161
00:07:41,090 --> 00:07:42,571
Uh-huh.
162
00:07:43,042 --> 00:07:44,145
I don't care for that guy.
163
00:07:44,169 --> 00:07:45,875
- Me neither. Too soft.
- No.
164
00:07:45,933 --> 00:07:48,533
I want a little edge in my bartender.
You know, this is Philadelphia.
165
00:07:48,558 --> 00:07:51,821
What's with the, uh...? What's with the
black friend that no one is acknowledging?
166
00:07:51,838 --> 00:07:54,682
Is black...? I feel like it's weird if
you don't talk about that, you know?
167
00:07:54,708 --> 00:07:57,578
It's strange to have one black friend
and not be constantly talking about it.
168
00:07:57,610 --> 00:08:00,066
Yeah, shine a light on it, make sure
everybody sees and knows, like,
169
00:08:00,089 --> 00:08:01,477
"I have a black friend,"
and that's a thing.
170
00:08:01,497 --> 00:08:03,949
'Cause it's weird that a black
person is friends with white people.
171
00:08:03,972 --> 00:08:05,885
- Hmm. I don't...
- It's not that weird, but it's that...
172
00:08:05,912 --> 00:08:07,712
- I don't think it is.
- but it's a thing. - It is, it is.
173
00:08:07,721 --> 00:08:09,127
Here you guys go.
174
00:08:09,153 --> 00:08:11,520
Oh.
There we go.
175
00:08:14,061 --> 00:08:15,946
Oh, drink up!
176
00:08:17,403 --> 00:08:19,378
- What the hell was that?
- That's a Sudz alert.
177
00:08:19,403 --> 00:08:22,772
- When we ring that bell, everybody's
got to drink, right? - Yeah.
178
00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:26,371
I don't need a bell
telling me when to drink.
179
00:08:26,396 --> 00:08:28,022
I'll drink when I'm
goddamn good and thirsty.
180
00:08:28,047 --> 00:08:29,590
I'm pretty sure I know
when to take a drink.
181
00:08:29,615 --> 00:08:32,384
Screw their stupid
bell, you know?
182
00:08:33,260 --> 00:08:35,858
I wish I had drank when everybody else
drank, though, 'cause it seemed like fun.
183
00:08:35,872 --> 00:08:37,378
- Well, now I feel left out.
- Can we drink now?
184
00:08:37,401 --> 00:08:38,570
- Let's drink now.
- Together?
185
00:08:38,608 --> 00:08:40,375
'Cause I-I...
Now I'm angry.
186
00:08:47,911 --> 00:08:49,977
What are you doing in my
office?
187
00:08:49,991 --> 00:08:51,361
Oh.
188
00:08:51,389 --> 00:08:55,589
You snuck up on me. Frank
Reynolds, owner of Paddy's Pub.
189
00:08:55,807 --> 00:08:58,554
I just thought I'd come
by and say hello,
190
00:08:58,630 --> 00:09:02,835
pay my respects. Also, I got
you a little goody bag here.
191
00:09:02,987 --> 00:09:06,485
Some trinkets, knickknacks
that you might enjoy.
192
00:09:06,767 --> 00:09:09,439
- There's a broken egg in here.
- Oh, shit.
193
00:09:09,496 --> 00:09:11,440
That wasn't the hardboiled one.
194
00:09:11,498 --> 00:09:13,832
Hey, you want me to
cook that up for you?
195
00:09:19,020 --> 00:09:21,675
- Oh, man.
- Ooh! Goddamn.
196
00:09:21,794 --> 00:09:23,188
That went down easy.
I like this.
197
00:09:23,221 --> 00:09:25,515
Yeah. Guys, I'm starting
to like this place.
198
00:09:25,546 --> 00:09:28,488
It's growing on me, too. I-I like
the chemistry that the staff has.
199
00:09:28,518 --> 00:09:31,515
Oh, did you guys see that charged
moment between Greg and Amanda?
200
00:09:31,540 --> 00:09:32,146
Yes.
201
00:09:32,167 --> 00:09:34,224
Boy, I tell you. She's
got a boyfriend, but I
202
00:09:34,249 --> 00:09:36,973
- think that she and Greg should
end up together. - Ooh, ooh, ooh.
203
00:09:36,994 --> 00:09:38,747
I'd like to come back next
week to see if they do.
204
00:09:38,778 --> 00:09:40,638
- Yeah. Me, too.
- You know? I mean, she is cute,
205
00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:42,227
- she is just super cute, right?
- She's cute.
206
00:09:42,252 --> 00:09:43,840
- She's so cute.
- She is very cute.
207
00:09:43,869 --> 00:09:45,517
- She's not funny, though, so...
- Yeah, but, no, but she
208
00:09:45,541 --> 00:09:48,129
doesn't need to be funny because
she's cute, she's loveable,
209
00:09:48,151 --> 00:09:50,434
everybody likes her, and then, if
she can tell a joke, yeah, hey,
210
00:09:50,459 --> 00:09:52,603
- it's just a bonus, you know?
- Let's get out of this dump.
211
00:09:52,620 --> 00:09:55,514
Oh, actually, this place is not a
dump, Frank. It's pretty great.
212
00:09:55,538 --> 00:09:58,111
Hey, hey, Greg, can you
get this man a Blue Hole?
213
00:09:58,127 --> 00:10:00,402
- You got to try this thing.
- I got news for you.
214
00:10:00,427 --> 00:10:02,723
Our secret's out, and it stinks.
215
00:10:02,754 --> 00:10:05,781
This manager's been to Paddy's,
and he said it's nothing
216
00:10:05,806 --> 00:10:08,137
but a bunch of people
yelling over each other.
217
00:10:08,156 --> 00:10:10,645
- Well... - So what? That's what
we do. We yell at each other,
218
00:10:10,672 --> 00:10:13,128
and if people want to tune in and
listen, then they're welcome to.
219
00:10:13,153 --> 00:10:14,851
Yeah, but I think that's
off-putting to the customer.
220
00:10:14,870 --> 00:10:16,490
I mean, Greg would
never yell at Amanda.
221
00:10:16,516 --> 00:10:18,220
All right, I'll tell you what
we got to do.
222
00:10:18,245 --> 00:10:19,920
We got to up our game.
223
00:10:19,949 --> 00:10:21,862
We should host an
industry night.
224
00:10:21,899 --> 00:10:25,755
Invite all the people who vote who's
in the industry to come to our bar,
225
00:10:25,779 --> 00:10:27,217
and we'll show 'em
what we're made of.
226
00:10:27,242 --> 00:10:30,586
Yeah, but I'd like to tweak a little bit of
who we are and what we're made of, right?
227
00:10:30,611 --> 00:10:32,102
- Yeah.
- Soften the edges a little bit.
228
00:10:32,127 --> 00:10:33,762
All right, we'll tweak
it a little bit,
229
00:10:33,787 --> 00:10:36,058
we'll show these bastards
who's award-worthy.
230
00:10:36,083 --> 00:10:37,358
- Yeah.
- Yeah!
231
00:10:37,382 --> 00:10:40,564
Oh-ho! Drink! Drink!
232
00:10:43,289 --> 00:10:46,544
Okay, guys, if we're gonna show these
industry folks tonight that we're likeable,
233
00:10:46,562 --> 00:10:48,831
we need to have some funny banter
like Greg and Maxwell have.
234
00:10:48,856 --> 00:10:51,862
Yeah. Don't worry. I'm gonna be
zinging one-liners all night long.
235
00:10:51,881 --> 00:10:53,986
Uh, actually, Dee, you won't
be zinging anything around,
236
00:10:54,012 --> 00:10:56,489
because men are intimidated
by funny women, all right?
237
00:10:56,585 --> 00:11:00,010
So, what we need you to be
is just pretty and benign.
238
00:11:00,054 --> 00:11:03,223
But we are gonna do a will-they-
or-won't-they thing between you and Mac.
239
00:11:03,816 --> 00:11:05,366
- Dee and I don't want
to be together. - No.
240
00:11:05,379 --> 00:11:07,251
But the customers want
you to be together.
241
00:11:07,268 --> 00:11:08,235
That's fun for them.
242
00:11:08,260 --> 00:11:11,091
Why would it be fun for them to watch
two people not want to be together?
243
00:11:11,128 --> 00:11:13,069
Well, no. You do want
to be together, okay?
244
00:11:13,088 --> 00:11:16,427
The customers have to think that you think
that you don't want to be together,
245
00:11:16,442 --> 00:11:18,824
but you do, deep down,
want to be together.
246
00:11:18,855 --> 00:11:21,297
The problem is, right now, I'm getting
that you guys don't want to be together.
247
00:11:21,323 --> 00:11:23,694
- I need you to want to be together.
- Ugh.
248
00:11:23,730 --> 00:11:24,486
Question.
249
00:11:24,504 --> 00:11:27,182
Yes, you're wondering how we're
gonna make Dee attractive enough
250
00:11:27,208 --> 00:11:28,730
- to where you'll want
to be with her. - Yes.
251
00:11:28,763 --> 00:11:30,905
Okay, see, what I'm gonna do is, I'm
gonna shellac her with makeup,
252
00:11:30,929 --> 00:11:33,723
and I'm gonna blast her with light
to soften up all those features.
253
00:11:34,333 --> 00:11:36,714
- I am into that, yes.
- Yes. Okay, great.
254
00:11:36,733 --> 00:11:39,088
So, guys, I got us banter cards.
255
00:11:39,118 --> 00:11:42,335
Mac, you're gonna welcome the customer in,
and then I'm gonna execute with a quip.
256
00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:43,397
Let's give it a shot.
257
00:11:43,417 --> 00:11:45,666
"Hey, I'm Mac.
Welcome to Paddy's Pub.
258
00:11:45,697 --> 00:11:48,552
I would like to recommend to first-timers
our signature blended drink,
259
00:11:48,577 --> 00:11:49,797
Caribbean Paradise.
260
00:11:49,815 --> 00:11:51,948
People say it's better
than an orgasm."
261
00:11:52,087 --> 00:11:54,350
- Not that he's ever had one.
- I've had orgasms!
262
00:11:54,373 --> 00:11:57,227
I've had tons of orgasms! I've
had one with your mom, dude!
263
00:11:57,252 --> 00:11:59,980
I will strangle you, I'll stick my
goddamn thumb through your eye!
264
00:12:00,002 --> 00:12:02,542
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, dude, relax, relax.
265
00:12:02,756 --> 00:12:04,230
- Sit down. What are you doing?
- Okay.
266
00:12:04,248 --> 00:12:07,546
You came at me, and I gave it
back to you hard, 'cause...
267
00:12:07,565 --> 00:12:10,752
Uh, yeah, I'm getting that.
Look, I'm just doing the thing.
268
00:12:10,909 --> 00:12:12,534
- Oh.
- See, what you just did--
269
00:12:12,550 --> 00:12:14,917
that's how we normally talk.
That's very aggressive.
270
00:12:14,944 --> 00:12:16,806
- I came at you hard.
- You came at me real hard,
271
00:12:16,832 --> 00:12:19,007
and people aren't comfortable
with that sort of behavior.
272
00:12:19,038 --> 00:12:21,278
That's why we're trying
something different here, okay?
273
00:12:21,305 --> 00:12:23,103
Guys, memorize
these lines, okay?
274
00:12:23,132 --> 00:12:24,994
We need to seem like it's
coming off the cuff.
275
00:12:25,014 --> 00:12:27,602
Right. Plus, she didn't
even feel a thing.
276
00:12:29,283 --> 00:12:30,333
- What?
- What?
277
00:12:30,370 --> 00:12:33,354
That's the punch line to
Mac bang-banging our mom.
278
00:12:33,379 --> 00:12:35,142
She didn't, she
didn't even notice.
279
00:12:35,468 --> 00:12:38,377
Oh, Dee, Jesus Christ,
your timing is so bad.
280
00:12:38,396 --> 00:12:39,974
- He just said it.
- There's a timing concern.
281
00:12:39,992 --> 00:12:41,762
Look, stop. Don't
do the jokes, okay?
282
00:12:41,798 --> 00:12:43,587
Let's settle into our
new roles here, okay?
283
00:12:43,615 --> 00:12:45,784
- Change of plans. Change of plans.
- Little bit of role-play.
284
00:12:45,822 --> 00:12:48,808
We got to go darker with
Industry Night, edgier.
285
00:12:48,833 --> 00:12:50,428
No, Frank, don't derail us.
286
00:12:50,429 --> 00:12:52,607
We're doing bright lights,
bright colors, and funny banter.
287
00:12:52,632 --> 00:12:54,545
- That's what wins.
- Wrong.
288
00:12:54,672 --> 00:12:57,634
Artemis and I went to a
burlesque bar last night.
289
00:12:57,778 --> 00:13:00,526
Eh, there were women
stripping, but it was classy.
290
00:13:00,545 --> 00:13:04,787
It was dimly lit. They were serving
martinis, period costumes.
291
00:13:04,812 --> 00:13:08,862
There weren't a lot of people in there, but
this bar has won a shitload of awards.
292
00:13:08,887 --> 00:13:11,191
Do you guys think that our
location is the problem?
293
00:13:11,478 --> 00:13:12,624
- That could be it, yeah.
- Hmm.
294
00:13:12,648 --> 00:13:16,467
Well, no, see, there was that bar that just
opened last year right down the street,
295
00:13:16,604 --> 00:13:18,578
- and they've already won a
ton of awards. - Oh, mm-hmm.
296
00:13:18,596 --> 00:13:19,792
Oh, right.
297
00:13:19,866 --> 00:13:21,186
Is it us?
298
00:13:21,456 --> 00:13:23,024
Ugh.
299
00:13:23,406 --> 00:13:24,219
No.
300
00:13:24,255 --> 00:13:26,449
- No, no, no, it can't be us.
- Us? - No way.
301
00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:27,723
I highly doubt it's us.
302
00:13:27,752 --> 00:13:29,354
- It's everybody else.
- It's their problem, not us.
303
00:13:29,380 --> 00:13:31,699
- We don't have the...
- Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey!
304
00:13:31,896 --> 00:13:34,665
- I got it! I got it!
- Got what?
305
00:13:34,722 --> 00:13:36,460
The Best Song.
I wrote the Best Song.
306
00:13:36,497 --> 00:13:37,704
It's amazing.
Get with the program.
307
00:13:37,729 --> 00:13:40,804
Yes, Charlie, please.
We're all clamoring to hear.
308
00:13:41,279 --> 00:13:44,170
♪ Whoa, they say the ♪
♪ world's your oyster ♪
309
00:13:44,197 --> 00:13:47,160
♪ Ma'am, but oysters ain't for me ♪
310
00:13:47,921 --> 00:13:49,896
♪ You're the belle of the ball ♪
311
00:13:49,910 --> 00:13:52,530
♪ But you ain't my cup of tea ♪
312
00:13:52,843 --> 00:13:55,160
♪ They always vote ♪
♪ you Best in Show ♪
313
00:13:55,185 --> 00:13:57,387
♪ But this doggie disagrees ♪
314
00:13:57,568 --> 00:14:02,487
♪ 'Cause I like life ♪
♪ in Paddy's Pub... ♪
315
00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:03,421
Okay.
316
00:14:03,446 --> 00:14:05,046
♪ There's a place for me ♪
317
00:14:05,071 --> 00:14:06,598
♪ It's the place I go ♪
318
00:14:06,623 --> 00:14:08,223
♪ Where the beer is cheap ♪
319
00:14:08,255 --> 00:14:11,757
♪ And the lights are low ♪
♪ It's Paddy's Pub ♪
320
00:14:12,579 --> 00:14:15,109
♪ I like Paddy's Pub ♪
321
00:14:15,850 --> 00:14:18,938
♪ Let the record show ♪
♪ The greatest place to go ♪
322
00:14:19,300 --> 00:14:22,858
♪ Is that bar called Paddy's Pub ♪
323
00:14:31,860 --> 00:14:40,707
♪ I like life in Paddy's Pub... ♪
324
00:14:40,851 --> 00:14:42,723
- My goodness!
- Hey, hey!
325
00:14:42,758 --> 00:14:44,715
Well, well, well.
My goodness.
326
00:14:44,740 --> 00:14:46,863
You guys really like it?
You're not just bullshitting me?
327
00:14:46,882 --> 00:14:49,183
- It was pretty great!
- I tried to go right down the middle,
328
00:14:49,220 --> 00:14:51,048
you know, of Middle
America, Randy Newman...
329
00:14:51,075 --> 00:14:53,884
Yeah, I didn't catch any rape
references, nothing about spiders,
330
00:14:53,891 --> 00:14:55,189
nothing about ghouls.
331
00:14:55,594 --> 00:14:58,468
- Why would there be rape? - You're
always talking about rape and spiders.
332
00:14:58,498 --> 00:15:01,148
- You guys misinterpret it, but...
- Charlie, that was great.
333
00:15:01,186 --> 00:15:03,540
It was really great. You really
knocked it out of the park.
334
00:15:03,552 --> 00:15:05,901
Let's go down to the basement
and get some lemons for the party.
335
00:15:05,921 --> 00:15:08,538
Oh, yeah, sure, okay. I'm
glad you like the song, man.
336
00:15:11,465 --> 00:15:13,540
- Are you locking me in here?!
- Yeah.
337
00:15:14,109 --> 00:15:15,997
Well, we just couldn't
have him do that song.
338
00:15:16,013 --> 00:15:17,813
- Doesn't make any sense.
- No. - It's ridiculous.
339
00:15:17,846 --> 00:15:20,438
All right, let's put
on a good show.
340
00:15:30,925 --> 00:15:32,851
All right, people are
starting to arrive.
341
00:15:32,877 --> 00:15:36,165
This is great. Okay, so when a customer
comes up to you, remember, keep it light.
342
00:15:36,197 --> 00:15:37,319
- Light.
- Keep it playful.
343
00:15:37,337 --> 00:15:38,219
- Playful.
- Right?
344
00:15:38,238 --> 00:15:40,032
Y'all ain't got to
worry about me.
345
00:15:40,096 --> 00:15:43,090
'Cause I'm gonna be chatting
these fools up like a mug.
346
00:15:43,865 --> 00:15:45,982
- Cool.
- Okay, thanks, Z.
347
00:15:46,013 --> 00:15:47,282
Yeah, I'm a little
worried about him.
348
00:15:47,299 --> 00:15:49,685
We should have gotten a less
intense black guy for diversity,
349
00:15:49,703 --> 00:15:51,712
but we don't have
any in our roster.
350
00:15:51,752 --> 00:15:53,766
But maybe we could find another
one, throw him into the mix?
351
00:15:53,794 --> 00:15:55,111
You know, to counter Z's vibe?
352
00:15:55,136 --> 00:15:58,122
You got to be really careful about
the ratio. We get too many black guys,
353
00:15:58,153 --> 00:15:59,916
people think it's a black bar.
That will not help us.
354
00:15:59,937 --> 00:16:01,050
- Black bars don't win awards.
- No.
355
00:16:01,072 --> 00:16:04,403
- I don't know why, but they don't.
- Loving these lights, you guys.
356
00:16:04,433 --> 00:16:07,308
I am glowing like
an angel over here.
357
00:16:07,536 --> 00:16:09,149
Oh, my God.
358
00:16:09,324 --> 00:16:10,838
Hi, can I get a drink?
359
00:16:10,863 --> 00:16:13,063
Hey, I'm Mac.
Welcome to Paddy's Pub.
360
00:16:13,150 --> 00:16:16,161
I like to recommend to our first
timers our signature cocktail--
361
00:16:16,236 --> 00:16:17,567
Caribbean Paradise.
362
00:16:17,592 --> 00:16:20,223
Some people say it's
better than busting a nut.
363
00:16:20,248 --> 00:16:21,648
Excuse me?
364
00:16:21,679 --> 00:16:24,859
Busting a nut. It's like, uh,
you know, blowing your load.
365
00:16:24,884 --> 00:16:27,084
- He said it was a funny joke.
- Well, no... hold on.
366
00:16:27,103 --> 00:16:30,101
Yeah, it's like coming all over you.
It's light, it's playful.
367
00:16:30,132 --> 00:16:33,098
Yeah, well, no, I think what my friend
is trying to refer to is an orgasm,
368
00:16:33,123 --> 00:16:34,582
which is light and playful,
369
00:16:34,607 --> 00:16:37,213
but he overstepped himself and
got a little bit too specific.
370
00:16:37,241 --> 00:16:39,694
Sorry, we jizz in the drink and
that's what makes it light.
371
00:16:39,725 --> 00:16:41,825
No, no, nobody's jizzing on
anything.
372
00:16:41,865 --> 00:16:43,278
- Well, where do I jizz?
- You don't jizz.
373
00:16:43,312 --> 00:16:45,295
How can, how can I
orgasm if I don't jizz?
374
00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:46,586
No, ma'am, I think what...
375
00:16:46,606 --> 00:16:49,075
Just tell me where I jizz so I
can give this lady her drink.
376
00:16:49,105 --> 00:16:52,078
- Ma'am, what would you like to drink?
- And we won't jizz on anything.
377
00:16:52,261 --> 00:16:54,449
Not like Mac's ever had an
orgasm.
378
00:16:54,469 --> 00:16:55,885
- Holy shit, you're late.
- She was late.
379
00:16:55,906 --> 00:16:58,451
- Go back in your light.
- We're all set up back there.
380
00:16:58,468 --> 00:17:00,592
Deandra, grab a couple of
bottles of champagne, let's go.
381
00:17:00,614 --> 00:17:01,971
- Yup.
- N-N-No, I got it, I got it.
382
00:17:01,986 --> 00:17:04,020
- Dee, stay in your light.
- Come with me, come here.
383
00:17:04,055 --> 00:17:05,822
All right, listen,
listen, listen.
384
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:06,833
What was that?
385
00:17:06,858 --> 00:17:08,508
All right, look,
look, look, look.
386
00:17:08,533 --> 00:17:10,183
You two do the charged moment.
387
00:17:10,214 --> 00:17:12,610
- Will they or won't they?
- Mm-hmm.
388
00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:22,332
- What's wrong, Dee?
- Oh, nothing.
389
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:24,823
- Let me guess-- boyfriend troubles?
- Hmm.
390
00:17:24,848 --> 00:17:26,792
This guy doesn't
know what he's got.
391
00:17:27,092 --> 00:17:28,930
He's really ugly, too.
392
00:17:29,313 --> 00:17:31,313
- I'm sorry, are you talking to me?
- Yeah.
393
00:17:31,334 --> 00:17:33,839
I said her boyfriend's ugly.
Pay attention, bozo.
394
00:17:33,864 --> 00:17:36,067
Okay, he's not ugly, all right?
That wouldn't make any sense.
395
00:17:36,096 --> 00:17:37,542
That's-that... He's not ugly.
396
00:17:37,567 --> 00:17:40,062
- Dude's a total tool, too.
- It's...
397
00:17:40,087 --> 00:17:42,123
You know what he's not? He's
not covered in stupid tattoos
398
00:17:42,148 --> 00:17:43,961
- and he doesn't have a cigarette
for a mother... - What?!
399
00:17:43,974 --> 00:17:45,911
- Don't talk shit about my mom!
- Whoa.
400
00:17:46,059 --> 00:17:48,080
- Hey!
- Hey, hey, hey, hey!
401
00:17:48,113 --> 00:17:49,926
Stop-- what the hell's
going on over here?
402
00:17:49,951 --> 00:17:52,043
That man is choking that woman.
403
00:17:52,081 --> 00:17:54,126
Get over here. What are,
what are you doing?
404
00:17:54,816 --> 00:17:56,575
This isn't will
they or won't they?
405
00:17:56,629 --> 00:17:58,907
This is I know they won't and
I know I don't want them to.
406
00:18:00,482 --> 00:18:03,551
Excuse me, there's a guy
crawling out of your floor.
407
00:18:03,751 --> 00:18:06,069
Oh, uh, that-that's okay.
That's just our janitor.
408
00:18:06,081 --> 00:18:08,269
Uh, don't worry about it, gentlemen.
What are you doing, dude?
409
00:18:08,281 --> 00:18:10,013
I broke out.
410
00:18:10,231 --> 00:18:11,294
Are you high?
411
00:18:11,330 --> 00:18:14,611
You put, you put me in the basement
with spray cans. I got high.
412
00:18:14,633 --> 00:18:17,837
Do me a favor, go back in the basement,
okay? Get higher if you want.
413
00:18:18,010 --> 00:18:19,821
Just go back in.
Don't sit down there.
414
00:18:19,851 --> 00:18:22,665
No, no, no, no, no, don't,
don't... Goddamn it.
415
00:18:22,784 --> 00:18:25,200
- What are we gonna do? - Oh, well,
it looks like Z brought friends.
416
00:18:25,225 --> 00:18:27,188
- Yo, yo, yo. Oh!
- What up?
417
00:18:27,638 --> 00:18:29,799
That's too many black guys,
dude-- the ratio's off.
418
00:18:29,935 --> 00:18:31,732
- Dennis, the ratio is off!
- Okay, you know what?
419
00:18:31,758 --> 00:18:33,792
Ooh, ooh, ooh, the
burlesque, remember?
420
00:18:33,814 --> 00:18:36,756
Burlesque, yes, yes, yes. Hey, guys, guy...
gentlemen, gentlemen.
421
00:18:36,970 --> 00:18:40,019
How about something a little bit more
upscale, yeah? Here, come with me.
422
00:18:40,041 --> 00:18:41,161
I want to show you something.
423
00:18:41,186 --> 00:18:42,686
Yeah, this is classy.
424
00:18:42,898 --> 00:18:45,117
- Put it in. Put the bottle in.
- Oh, my God. I did.
425
00:18:45,145 --> 00:18:46,851
Put it in.
426
00:18:47,503 --> 00:18:49,772
- Get the bottle out, get the bottle out!
- I'm trying!
427
00:18:50,197 --> 00:18:52,287
Don't judge me-- this is art.
428
00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:53,666
- Shut the door.
- This is not art.
429
00:18:53,682 --> 00:18:55,615
Attention, attention, everybody.
430
00:18:55,648 --> 00:18:58,136
I got a little ditty
about Paddy's Pub.
431
00:18:58,216 --> 00:19:00,339
- ♪ I'm a singer.♪
- Charlie's doing the song.
432
00:19:00,583 --> 00:19:02,275
The song was light.
The song was light.
433
00:19:02,312 --> 00:19:04,178
That'll lighten things up. Do
the song, dude, do the song.
434
00:19:04,203 --> 00:19:05,866
Please enjoy this song.
435
00:19:07,266 --> 00:19:11,381
♪ There is a spider, ♪
♪ spider, spider ♪
436
00:19:12,264 --> 00:19:15,885
♪ He's deep in my soul, soul ♪
437
00:19:16,346 --> 00:19:19,346
♪ He's lived here for years, years ♪
438
00:19:19,454 --> 00:19:22,610
♪ He just won't let go ♪
439
00:19:23,678 --> 00:19:26,352
♪ He's laying around ♪
440
00:19:26,958 --> 00:19:29,615
♪ He's got a mean bite ♪
441
00:19:30,398 --> 00:19:39,921
♪ Now he's ready to fight... ♪
442
00:19:40,206 --> 00:19:47,028
♪ And stand up for ♪
♪ what he knows... ♪
443
00:19:47,980 --> 00:19:51,991
♪ I don't need your ♪
♪ trophies or your gold ♪
444
00:19:52,035 --> 00:19:54,562
♪ I just want to tell you all ♪
445
00:19:54,587 --> 00:19:57,945
♪ Go fuck yourselves... ♪
446
00:19:57,970 --> 00:20:00,003
Oh, shit.
447
00:20:06,434 --> 00:20:10,724
♪ Go fuck yourselves... ♪
448
00:20:11,611 --> 00:20:14,149
- ♪ Ooh, wah-ooh...♪
- Is he spitting?
449
00:20:14,180 --> 00:20:16,011
- Is he spitting?
- Oh, he's spitting at them.
450
00:20:16,675 --> 00:20:18,200
- Is that the sign?
- That's the sign.
451
00:20:18,208 --> 00:20:19,608
- Spit! Spit!
- Hey, you!
452
00:20:19,964 --> 00:20:21,755
What is wrong with you people?
453
00:20:21,776 --> 00:20:23,909
- Get out!
- We don't need you!
454
00:20:24,687 --> 00:20:26,393
Get out of here!
455
00:20:26,624 --> 00:20:28,724
♪ I really mean to tell you ♪
456
00:20:28,754 --> 00:20:33,242
♪ Fuck you, motherfucker ♪
♪ I don't need you in my bar. ♪
457
00:20:33,417 --> 00:20:34,984
- Beat it!
- There's your damn award.
458
00:20:35,009 --> 00:20:41,511
♪ Ooh... ♪
459
00:20:43,403 --> 00:20:45,639
- Did you hear my song?
- I heard it. I love it.
460
00:20:45,658 --> 00:20:47,458
- Great song, Charlie.
- Yeah, man.
461
00:20:47,479 --> 00:20:48,458
You know what, that felt good.
462
00:20:48,475 --> 00:20:50,094
That felt real good.
463
00:20:50,119 --> 00:20:52,719
I mean, I guess it is us after
all, you know? It's us.
464
00:20:52,745 --> 00:20:56,193
- All right, it's us.
- Screw them, you know why?
465
00:20:56,240 --> 00:20:58,165
- 'Cause I like us.
- I like us, too, Dee.
466
00:20:58,378 --> 00:20:59,586
Well, because we're awesome.
467
00:20:59,611 --> 00:21:02,024
- Yeah, we're good at what we do.
- Yeah!
468
00:21:02,047 --> 00:21:03,453
We do our own thing
and we're good at it.
469
00:21:03,468 --> 00:21:05,180
I don't need their validation.
470
00:21:05,214 --> 00:21:07,731
- No, no, I'm happy with us.
- That's exactly right.
471
00:21:07,754 --> 00:21:09,229
Totally.
472
00:21:11,486 --> 00:21:13,520
- I really wanted an award, though.
- I was dying for one.
473
00:21:13,542 --> 00:21:15,759
- Ah, it'd be so nice.
- Would've meant a lot.
474
00:21:16,283 --> 00:21:17,908
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
475
00:21:18,255 --> 00:21:28,255
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther