1 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:05,968 You're gonna get a call from one of your compatriots. 2 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:07,667 He's a navy doctor named connell. 3 00:00:07,701 --> 00:00:09,200 He's gonna be checking up on me. 4 00:00:09,234 --> 00:00:11,334 Can you imagine yourself back in an airplane 5 00:00:11,367 --> 00:00:12,968 flying a mission after what happened? 6 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:14,801 It's what everybody wants, my father included. 7 00:00:14,834 --> 00:00:17,267 Well, you know, he and michaela, they're united in everything. 8 00:00:17,300 --> 00:00:20,200 You're putting me in a very difficult position, Alex. 9 00:00:20,234 --> 00:00:21,968 You don't expect me to lie, do you? 10 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:24,601 Paul, look-- hey, cut the crap! I need this. 11 00:00:24,634 --> 00:00:27,868 Tell me, what would you do? 12 00:00:27,901 --> 00:00:29,434 I would stay in therapy. 13 00:00:29,467 --> 00:00:30,968 I would continue to deal 14 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:33,234 with the difficult issues that we've been talking about, 15 00:00:33,267 --> 00:00:34,601 not sweep them under the carpet 16 00:00:34,634 --> 00:00:36,234 like you've been doing in your life. 17 00:00:36,267 --> 00:00:38,234 They will creep up on you again. 18 00:00:38,267 --> 00:00:40,701 But you won't tell me not to fly. 19 00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:44,367 - Hi. - You'll want to wait till the next hymn. 20 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:46,300 The service has already started. 21 00:01:46,334 --> 00:01:49,634 - But they said 10:00. - For the Garrity funeral? 22 00:01:49,667 --> 00:01:52,067 - The prince funeral. - Oh, sorry. 23 00:01:52,100 --> 00:01:54,000 That's in the Gold chapel. 24 00:01:55,033 --> 00:01:57,133 Okay. Thank you. 25 00:04:28,467 --> 00:04:32,501 I'm Paul Weston. I was a friend of Alex's. 26 00:04:32,534 --> 00:04:36,033 - My condolences. - Thank you for coming. 27 00:04:37,701 --> 00:04:41,033 - I'm deeply sorry. - Thank you. Thank you very much. 28 00:04:41,901 --> 00:04:43,968 I'm deeply sorry. 29 00:05:50,567 --> 00:05:52,767 Shit. 30 00:05:52,801 --> 00:05:55,801 That's okay. Don't worry about it. It will dry off in a minute. 31 00:05:56,700 --> 00:05:58,167 Hi, I'm Paul. 32 00:05:58,201 --> 00:06:00,001 Roy. 33 00:06:00,034 --> 00:06:02,034 I was a friend of your dad's. 34 00:06:02,067 --> 00:06:05,567 He was really proud of you. He used to talk about you all the time. 35 00:06:07,834 --> 00:06:10,401 He would be mad to know I cussed just now. 36 00:06:15,234 --> 00:06:17,234 You know, today I think it would be okay 37 00:06:17,267 --> 00:06:20,234 to say any cuss word you wanted. 38 00:06:21,167 --> 00:06:22,734 Yeah. 39 00:06:23,734 --> 00:06:26,567 Mm-hmm. I'm saying them... 40 00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:28,267 In my head, 41 00:06:28,301 --> 00:06:30,067 without saying them out loud, 42 00:06:30,101 --> 00:06:33,533 'cause of what I feel about what happened to your dad. 43 00:06:38,533 --> 00:06:41,267 Do you think swearing is better than crying? 44 00:06:42,967 --> 00:06:44,633 Um... 45 00:06:46,067 --> 00:06:48,267 I think crying's okay too. 46 00:06:49,167 --> 00:06:51,101 I don't want to. 47 00:06:51,134 --> 00:06:53,368 That would just make everyone more upset. 48 00:06:54,533 --> 00:06:57,434 You know, you don't have to be strong. 49 00:06:57,468 --> 00:06:59,434 My dad was always telling me 50 00:06:59,468 --> 00:07:01,234 I needed to be strong. 51 00:07:01,267 --> 00:07:03,267 oh. 52 00:07:03,301 --> 00:07:04,434 Whenever he'd go away, 53 00:07:04,468 --> 00:07:07,401 he'd say to me, "take care of mom. 54 00:07:07,434 --> 00:07:09,500 You're the man of the house." 55 00:07:09,533 --> 00:07:12,301 Yeah, I kinda know what he means. 56 00:07:12,334 --> 00:07:14,600 But, you know, being the man of the house 57 00:07:14,633 --> 00:07:17,368 also means letting other people know how you feel inside. 58 00:07:17,401 --> 00:07:19,967 You know, whether you're angry or sad. 59 00:07:20,001 --> 00:07:22,934 The chances are your mom feels the same. 60 00:07:22,967 --> 00:07:26,900 And maybe the two of you could help each other feel better. 61 00:07:30,301 --> 00:07:33,334 Your dad told me that you were an incredible chess player. 62 00:07:33,368 --> 00:07:35,234 Did you leave the king and the rook 63 00:07:35,267 --> 00:07:37,401 with your father onhe casket? 64 00:07:39,267 --> 00:07:42,867 There's this move called castling. Do you know it? 65 00:07:42,900 --> 00:07:44,734 Kind of, yes. 66 00:07:44,767 --> 00:07:46,434 It was my dad's favorite move. 67 00:07:46,468 --> 00:07:49,234 - Oh. - He swapped them sometimes. 68 00:07:49,267 --> 00:07:52,001 You sacrifice your rook to save your king. 69 00:07:52,034 --> 00:07:53,800 hmm. 70 00:07:53,834 --> 00:07:55,767 Roy. 71 00:07:58,368 --> 00:08:00,967 - Goodbye. - Okay. Yeah, goodbye. 72 00:08:23,034 --> 00:08:24,667 hi. 73 00:08:24,700 --> 00:08:27,434 Thanks for calling me. 74 00:08:28,734 --> 00:08:30,401 Sure. 75 00:08:30,434 --> 00:08:33,767 Well, I wanted to reach you 76 00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:37,700 before you read about it or saw it on the news. 77 00:08:38,834 --> 00:08:40,767 Are you okay? You look-- 78 00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:43,034 Have you slept? 79 00:08:43,067 --> 00:08:45,001 Uh, not really. 80 00:08:46,500 --> 00:08:48,700 Sometimes I think it's better not to, you know? 81 00:08:48,734 --> 00:08:50,900 I keep dreaming about this. 82 00:08:50,934 --> 00:08:52,900 mmm. 83 00:08:52,934 --> 00:08:55,700 I never had a patient die before in treatment. 84 00:08:58,967 --> 00:09:01,434 You'd think in 20 years it would've happened before but... It hasn't. 85 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:04,900 you should take some time off. 86 00:09:06,334 --> 00:09:08,301 Well, I'm definitely gonna take the morning off. 87 00:09:08,334 --> 00:09:10,700 I have to keep my afternoon appointments. 88 00:09:10,734 --> 00:09:12,500 No, you shouldn't do that, Paul. 89 00:09:12,533 --> 00:09:16,167 I know, but I've promised, so... 90 00:09:18,633 --> 00:09:20,567 Also, I-- 91 00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:23,967 I also don't just want to sit there and not give anything back. 92 00:09:24,001 --> 00:09:26,101 No, you need to cancel for your sake, Paul. 93 00:09:28,067 --> 00:09:31,267 Yeah. Yeah, you're right. 94 00:09:35,067 --> 00:09:38,600 - Was that his son? - He seems to be doing okay. 95 00:09:38,633 --> 00:09:40,567 I was, uh-- 96 00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:42,767 I was talking to him earlier on. 97 00:09:44,201 --> 00:09:46,633 What the hell do you say to a nine-year-old kid 98 00:09:46,667 --> 00:09:49,201 whose father is... 99 00:09:49,234 --> 00:09:51,368 Not coming home? 100 00:09:53,767 --> 00:09:56,500 It's hard to see so many people in pain, you know, 101 00:09:56,533 --> 00:10:00,167 and not be able to help them in some way. 102 00:10:00,201 --> 00:10:03,734 Well, maybe helping is easier than feeling the pain. 103 00:10:04,533 --> 00:10:06,734 - True... - Mmm. 104 00:10:06,767 --> 00:10:10,301 ...Dr. Laura. 105 00:10:12,401 --> 00:10:15,001 You know, my mother is buried in this cemetery. 106 00:10:15,034 --> 00:10:17,800 - Oh, I didn't know she-- - Mmm. 107 00:10:17,834 --> 00:10:20,034 - When did she die? - Oh, a long time ago. 108 00:10:20,067 --> 00:10:23,468 - 18 years. - Do you visit her often? 109 00:10:23,500 --> 00:10:28,067 Well, you see, we named our daughter 110 00:10:28,101 --> 00:10:30,434 after my mother-- Rosemary-- 111 00:10:30,468 --> 00:10:34,234 So it's my daughter's name 112 00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:36,800 on the gravestone in a way. 113 00:10:36,834 --> 00:10:40,234 I can't bear that, so no, I don't-- 114 00:10:40,267 --> 00:10:43,034 I don't visit often, no. 115 00:10:43,067 --> 00:10:45,834 Actually, I agonized whether or not I should come today. 116 00:10:45,867 --> 00:10:48,500 - Hmm? - I didn't want to be disrespectful. 117 00:10:48,533 --> 00:10:50,633 Why would you be disrespectful? 118 00:10:50,667 --> 00:10:53,800 Well, to her, his wife. 119 00:10:54,834 --> 00:10:56,167 I mean, she lost her husband, 120 00:10:56,201 --> 00:10:57,834 her children lost their father. 121 00:10:57,867 --> 00:10:59,834 That's something meaningful. I mean, what am I? 122 00:10:59,867 --> 00:11:02,134 A what, an ex-fling? 123 00:11:03,368 --> 00:11:06,800 I think it's really great that you came today. 124 00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:11,234 The truth is he was a nice guy. 125 00:11:12,401 --> 00:11:15,633 Yeah, he was funny and sweet and beautiful. 126 00:11:15,667 --> 00:11:17,767 I mean, if our timing had been different 127 00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:20,201 or if we hadn't met through you 128 00:11:20,234 --> 00:11:24,001 or if I had been an entirely different person, maybe... 129 00:11:24,867 --> 00:11:27,034 Well, big ifs. 130 00:11:27,067 --> 00:11:29,633 Big ifs. Mmm. 131 00:11:32,867 --> 00:11:35,800 Hmm. If. 132 00:11:50,067 --> 00:11:52,101 I'm sorry, did you get one of these? 133 00:11:52,134 --> 00:11:54,301 - No. - Directions to the gravesite. 134 00:11:54,334 --> 00:11:56,967 It's a huge cemetery, a bit of a labyrinth. 135 00:11:57,001 --> 00:11:58,767 Oh. Okay. Thank you. 136 00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:01,900 - Dr. Weston? - Yes. 137 00:12:01,934 --> 00:12:03,767 - I'm Daniel alterio. - Oh. 138 00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:05,800 I called you the other day with the news. 139 00:12:05,834 --> 00:12:08,067 It's nice to meet you. Thank you. 140 00:12:08,101 --> 00:12:11,067 I recognized your voice. I hope I wasn't too abrupt on the phone. 141 00:12:11,101 --> 00:12:13,667 I had a long list of people to call 142 00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:15,734 and I was still reeling myself. 143 00:12:15,767 --> 00:12:17,700 I understand. 144 00:12:17,734 --> 00:12:19,555 Maybe you're the person who can explain to me 145 00:12:19,556 --> 00:12:22,067 why almost every person that I gave the news to, 146 00:12:22,101 --> 00:12:26,167 their first response was "but I just saw him." 147 00:12:26,201 --> 00:12:28,533 Well, maybe this is just... 148 00:12:28,567 --> 00:12:31,434 Their mind's way of processing the shock. 149 00:12:33,867 --> 00:12:35,800 - I'm sorry. Daniel. - Laura. 150 00:12:35,834 --> 00:12:37,700 - Hello. - Hi. 151 00:12:38,667 --> 00:12:40,434 So had you just seen him? 152 00:12:40,468 --> 00:12:42,867 No. No, he was staying with me, 153 00:12:42,900 --> 00:12:45,067 but we'd both been so busy. 154 00:12:46,734 --> 00:12:48,734 I tried to get him to go to the opera with me the other night-- 155 00:12:48,767 --> 00:12:51,134 Sean offered Alex his ticket-- 156 00:12:51,167 --> 00:12:55,067 But our Alex wasn't the opera kind of guy. 157 00:12:55,967 --> 00:12:57,700 He was afraid of opera. 158 00:12:57,734 --> 00:12:59,034 - I'm afraid of flying. - Me too. 159 00:12:59,067 --> 00:13:01,434 - really? - Terrified. Thank God for drugs. 160 00:13:01,468 --> 00:13:03,101 Amen. 161 00:13:04,468 --> 00:13:06,500 Alex was always trying to get me to fly with him. 162 00:13:06,533 --> 00:13:09,834 Promised if he took me up, I'd be safe. 163 00:13:09,867 --> 00:13:11,800 I'm sure that's true. 164 00:13:12,734 --> 00:13:14,533 Yeah. 165 00:13:16,067 --> 00:13:18,001 I just never thought it would end like this for him. 166 00:13:19,234 --> 00:13:21,567 I mean, I knew the risks, 167 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:24,900 but I just never thought he'd get into trouble up there. 168 00:13:26,201 --> 00:13:28,201 Then again, everything I ever thought of Alex 169 00:13:28,234 --> 00:13:30,401 got turned on its head sooner or later. 170 00:13:30,434 --> 00:13:32,800 But look who I'm telling-- The authority. 171 00:13:32,834 --> 00:13:34,734 It was good to meet you. 172 00:13:34,767 --> 00:13:37,500 - You too, Daniel. - Uh, I'm sorry. Laurie was it? 173 00:13:37,533 --> 00:13:41,034 - No, Laura. Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you too. 174 00:13:41,067 --> 00:13:44,101 - I'll see you both in about a half hour. - Okay. Thank you. 175 00:13:45,301 --> 00:13:47,167 Are you okay? 176 00:13:47,201 --> 00:13:49,667 Yeah. Are you? 177 00:13:49,700 --> 00:13:53,001 Yeah. And if you weren't, would you say anything to me? 178 00:13:53,034 --> 00:13:55,767 - I would. - Cool. 179 00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:58,800 Excuse me. Do I know you? 180 00:13:58,834 --> 00:14:02,067 Oh, I'm-- I'm Paul Weston. I was friend of Alex's. 181 00:14:02,101 --> 00:14:04,234 My deepest deepest condolences. 182 00:14:04,267 --> 00:14:06,468 Thank you. I don't remember-- 183 00:14:06,533 --> 00:14:08,667 You played racquetball with him. 184 00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:11,101 No no no no, that was a walton. 185 00:14:11,134 --> 00:14:13,600 Sorry, that was somebody-- walton. 186 00:14:13,633 --> 00:14:16,167 Alex, you know, he had so many friends 187 00:14:16,201 --> 00:14:19,134 I never met... Until now. 188 00:14:21,900 --> 00:14:23,700 It's a terrible thing, you know, 189 00:14:23,734 --> 00:14:26,267 having to pick out a plot for your child. 190 00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,867 Michaela, she, uh... 191 00:14:29,900 --> 00:14:31,700 She left it to me. 192 00:14:31,734 --> 00:14:33,834 Alex, he liked to lay in the sun. 193 00:14:33,867 --> 00:14:37,500 He would lay on the roof like a lizard. 194 00:14:37,533 --> 00:14:40,167 Any-- anyway, uh, 195 00:14:40,201 --> 00:14:42,834 I picked a spot that's 196 00:14:42,867 --> 00:14:44,767 really out in the open, you know, right-- 197 00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:47,468 You'll see it. U'll see it when you get there, okay? 198 00:14:47,500 --> 00:14:49,134 I didn't get a chance to say it to you before, sir, 199 00:14:49,167 --> 00:14:50,934 - but you have my deepest sympathy. - Thank yo 200 00:14:50,967 --> 00:14:53,368 thank you very much for coming, you and your husband. 201 00:14:53,401 --> 00:14:56,101 You're a very lucky man. You have a lovely wife. 202 00:14:56,134 --> 00:14:58,401 Actually, Laura and I... 203 00:15:00,234 --> 00:15:02,700 - No no no no. - I'm sorry, I... 204 00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:06,034 I'm just all out of sorts today. 205 00:15:06,067 --> 00:15:07,834 I understand. 206 00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:36,967 It's so quiet. 207 00:15:40,134 --> 00:15:41,967 When I was a little girl... 208 00:15:43,167 --> 00:15:46,567 I'd make my mother tie my shoes so tight 209 00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:49,633 that sometimes the laces would snap. 210 00:15:52,234 --> 00:15:54,234 And I liked the bed sheets pulled really taut 211 00:15:54,267 --> 00:15:57,101 so that it was hard to turn over. 212 00:15:58,468 --> 00:16:01,001 I liked the feeling of something holding me in. 213 00:16:02,500 --> 00:16:04,734 I think I was afraid that maybe I'd float away 214 00:16:04,767 --> 00:16:06,633 and no one would notice. 215 00:16:14,734 --> 00:16:16,667 Sorry about that before. 216 00:16:16,700 --> 00:16:18,434 I should've introduced you properly. 217 00:16:18,468 --> 00:16:20,401 Oh, it's okay. 218 00:16:20,434 --> 00:16:22,368 It kind of caught me on the hop. 219 00:16:22,401 --> 00:16:24,301 Paul, it's fine. 220 00:16:25,368 --> 00:16:27,500 When I was growing up, 221 00:16:27,533 --> 00:16:30,167 people always thought my stepmother was my-- 222 00:16:30,201 --> 00:16:32,034 Was my sister. 223 00:16:32,934 --> 00:16:35,734 She was... 224 00:16:35,767 --> 00:16:40,101 26 years younger than my father. 225 00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:43,500 A few times, actually, she and I were mistaken 226 00:16:43,533 --> 00:16:46,034 for a couple. 227 00:16:47,201 --> 00:16:49,267 And the old man would play into it, 228 00:16:49,301 --> 00:16:52,201 as if she and I were a pair of newlyweds 229 00:16:52,234 --> 00:16:56,667 taking the old man out for a night on the town. 230 00:16:56,700 --> 00:16:58,700 God, he loved it so much, being with her, 231 00:16:58,734 --> 00:17:00,600 because she was so... 232 00:17:01,667 --> 00:17:03,834 You know, young and beautiful. 233 00:17:03,867 --> 00:17:06,401 So proud of the fact that... 234 00:17:07,334 --> 00:17:08,934 She was with him. 235 00:17:13,834 --> 00:17:15,834 How did they meet? 236 00:17:16,900 --> 00:17:18,967 He was a doctor 237 00:17:19,001 --> 00:17:21,500 and-- a heart surgeon. 238 00:17:22,533 --> 00:17:25,001 She was a patient 239 00:17:25,034 --> 00:17:27,633 and did a bypass on her. 240 00:17:27,667 --> 00:17:31,334 They started to date and then he left my mother. 241 00:17:32,234 --> 00:17:34,633 That was a nightmare. 242 00:17:35,834 --> 00:17:39,368 Hmm. When I was a teenager 243 00:17:39,401 --> 00:17:42,067 I was always-- Always in trouble. 244 00:17:43,301 --> 00:17:45,034 I remember once this counselor said to me, 245 00:17:45,067 --> 00:17:46,567 "what are you going to be when you grow up?" 246 00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:48,001 and I remember saying to him, 247 00:17:48,034 --> 00:17:51,267 "anything except my father." 248 00:18:00,533 --> 00:18:03,368 Myather was a really selfish man. 249 00:18:05,301 --> 00:18:07,734 Whatever he wanted, he just took it. 250 00:18:09,401 --> 00:18:11,567 No regard for anybody's... 251 00:18:13,001 --> 00:18:15,201 Feelings or... 252 00:18:19,700 --> 00:18:21,468 hmm. 253 00:18:48,334 --> 00:18:50,934 I, uh-- I think you should go without me. 254 00:18:50,967 --> 00:18:53,800 - What? - No, it's-- 255 00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:57,534 I don't know. I just don't feel up to it. 256 00:18:57,568 --> 00:19:00,034 Everything's caught up with me, 257 00:19:00,067 --> 00:19:04,201 and watching them put him in the ground is a little too much for me. 258 00:19:04,202 --> 00:19:05,900 You su? - Yeah, you go. 259 00:19:05,934 --> 00:19:08,167 Pay your respects. 260 00:19:09,401 --> 00:19:11,501 No one knows who I am, anyway. 261 00:19:11,534 --> 00:19:13,267 hey. 262 00:19:13,301 --> 00:19:15,434 I know who you are.