1 00:00:11,078 --> 00:00:14,924 Sheldon, it's not a great time! What do you want? 2 00:00:15,082 --> 00:00:17,722 Hello to you, too. 3 00:00:18,652 --> 00:00:20,928 I'm sorry, but this is important. 4 00:00:21,088 --> 00:00:22,658 What is it? 5 00:00:22,823 --> 00:00:27,272 Back to the Future 2 was in the Back to the Future 3 case, 6 00:00:27,427 --> 00:00:29,930 and Back to the Future 3 was, get this, 7 00:00:30,097 --> 00:00:32,703 in the Back to the Future 2 case. 8 00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:34,277 So? 9 00:00:34,434 --> 00:00:39,349 So, did you do that, or am I in the house with an intruder 10 00:00:40,507 --> 00:00:45,081 Sheldon, I got to go inside. It's getting rough out here. 11 00:00:46,713 --> 00:00:49,785 You're dodging the question. I knew it was you. 12 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:55,896 -What was that? -What was what? 13 00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:57,558 This isn't a very good connection, 14 00:00:57,724 --> 00:01:00,705 but it sounded like someone just released a Kraken. 15 00:01:02,362 --> 00:01:05,468 Okay, I'm hanging up now. 16 00:01:05,632 --> 00:01:07,202 You know there's no such thing as a-- 17 00:01:10,103 --> 00:01:11,810 No! 18 00:01:13,774 --> 00:01:16,618 Penny! Penny! Penny! 19 00:01:18,312 --> 00:01:19,620 What's the matter? 20 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:21,759 Um... 21 00:01:21,949 --> 00:01:25,226 Well, I was worried that you might be missing Leonard. 22 00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:29,958 And that might be causing you to have bad dreams, 23 00:01:30,123 --> 00:01:32,399 like the kind you'd get if you watched Clash of the Titans 24 00:01:32,559 --> 00:01:34,402 right before you went to bed. 25 00:01:35,796 --> 00:01:37,935 Sweetie, did you have a bad dream? 26 00:01:39,499 --> 00:01:41,501 -To be honest, I did. -Aw. 27 00:01:41,735 --> 00:01:46,115 Back to the Future 2 was in the Back to the Future 3 case. 28 00:01:46,273 --> 00:01:47,946 Leonard did it. 29 00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:50,452 -Good night. -No, wait. 30 00:01:51,178 --> 00:01:56,287 Perhaps I should sleep here, so you don't miss Leonard as much, 31 00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:59,260 'cause you're being kind of a baby about it. 32 00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:06,267 You know what? That would make me feel better. 33 00:02:06,426 --> 00:02:08,099 -Thank you. -You're welcome. 34 00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:14,206 Good night. 35 00:02:17,004 --> 00:02:19,450 I (THEME SONG PLAYING) I 36 00:02:41,728 --> 00:02:45,039 I think you'd be pleased to hear that this morning in the parking garage, 37 00:02:45,198 --> 00:02:47,906 I saw this oil stain on the ground that was shaped just like 38 00:02:48,068 --> 00:02:51,914 my ex-girlfriend, Lucy, and I didn't get upset at all. 39 00:02:52,072 --> 00:02:54,074 I'm proud of you. 40 00:02:54,241 --> 00:02:56,881 Well, you should be, 'cause she was looking good. 41 00:02:57,577 --> 00:03:00,888 Dear Lord! You're an astronomer. 42 00:03:01,048 --> 00:03:04,894 Although you may have earthly woes, get your mind back on the stars. 43 00:03:05,052 --> 00:03:08,192 Gee, even the lowly dung beetle chooses to plot its course 44 00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:10,665 -by using the Milky Way. -Is that true? 45 00:03:10,824 --> 00:03:13,430 Everything I say is true. 46 00:03:13,593 --> 00:03:15,903 Now, of course, the dung beetle also enjoys 47 00:03:16,063 --> 00:03:20,409 eating feces, living in feces and making little balls out of feces. 48 00:03:20,567 --> 00:03:24,037 So, you know, pick and choose which aspects of its lifestyle 49 00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:25,706 you want to embrace. 50 00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:28,786 Come on, you can talk to girls now. 51 00:03:28,942 --> 00:03:31,013 It shouldn't be hard for you to meet someone new. 52 00:03:31,178 --> 00:03:34,853 How can I meet someone new when everywhere I look, I see Lucy's face? 53 00:03:35,015 --> 00:03:38,895 Tell me you don't see her smile in the crust of this chicken pot pie. 54 00:03:40,353 --> 00:03:42,526 Would you stop it! 55 00:03:45,792 --> 00:03:46,896 Now, listen to me. 56 00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:49,438 There's a welcome party for incoming post-docs tonight. 57 00:03:49,596 --> 00:03:54,136 Go to it and meet someone who isn't made of grease or pie. 58 00:03:54,301 --> 00:03:57,407 You think you're so cool because your wife is a person? 59 00:04:01,141 --> 00:04:04,088 Look, Bernie's at a neuroscience conference with Amy. 60 00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:06,053 -I'll go with you. -You would do that for me? 61 00:04:06,213 --> 00:04:08,625 Of course. You're my friend. I want you to be happy. 62 00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:09,817 Thanks. 63 00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:13,224 Oh, Sheldon, since Amy's out of town, would you like to join us? 64 00:04:13,453 --> 00:04:15,399 I want you to be happy, too, 65 00:04:15,555 --> 00:04:18,058 but not enough to do anything about it. 66 00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:26,407 Howie, stop. I can't talk like that. Amy's right here. 67 00:04:26,566 --> 00:04:31,140 Sheldon, stop. For the last time, I will not bring home bed bugs. 68 00:04:31,905 --> 00:04:34,909 The hotel's nice. There's a pool, a gym, 69 00:04:35,075 --> 00:04:36,281 the bar looks like fun. 70 00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:40,118 Because I looked in the bed, and there are no bugs. 71 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:43,750 I love you, too. If I don't talk to you before you go to sleep, 72 00:04:43,917 --> 00:04:46,989 -I'll meet you in dreamland. -Good night. 73 00:04:47,921 --> 00:04:51,095 No, I will not consider sleeping in my garment bag. 74 00:04:54,261 --> 00:04:57,504 Penny, did you ever wonder how Starfleet captains-- 75 00:04:57,664 --> 00:04:59,268 No. 76 00:05:01,601 --> 00:05:03,774 Well, now that I've piqued your interest, 77 00:05:03,937 --> 00:05:07,384 welcome to the exciting world of 3D chess. 78 00:05:07,541 --> 00:05:09,714 Why don't you just admit you only want to play this game 79 00:05:09,876 --> 00:05:12,220 because you always play it with Leonard and you miss him? 80 00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:15,886 You overestimate his significance in my life. 81 00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:17,154 Hm... 82 00:05:17,384 --> 00:05:22,390 Do I miss how he makes a face on my toaster waffle with syrup? 83 00:05:22,556 --> 00:05:23,864 No. 84 00:05:24,524 --> 00:05:28,666 Do I miss the way he fixes the zipper on my jacket when it gets stuck? 85 00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:30,502 I don't think so. 86 00:05:31,231 --> 00:05:33,370 Do I miss how we say good night to each other 87 00:05:33,533 --> 00:05:36,309 through the walls of our bedroom using Morse Code? 88 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:44,345 Okay, I get it, I get It. You are an emotionless robot. 89 00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:46,422 Well, I try. 90 00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:49,426 All right, let's just get this stupid game over with. 91 00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:51,529 -Great. I'll go first. -Okay. 92 00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:52,993 By the way, how are you with zippers? 93 00:05:53,153 --> 00:05:54,359 - Why? -Well, I really need 94 00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:57,764 to go to the bathroom, and this one's gone all cattywampus. 95 00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:05,204 Wow, your work on jellyfish neural nets sounds so interesting. 96 00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:08,903 It is. You can download my paper off the university server. 97 00:06:09,069 --> 00:06:12,278 I will. You can download my paper on the Van Allen Belts 98 00:06:12,439 --> 00:06:15,443 -from the university server as well. -I will. 99 00:06:17,744 --> 00:06:18,745 All right. 100 00:06:33,927 --> 00:06:34,962 How'd it go? 101 00:06:35,128 --> 00:06:36,971 Well, if you like dry, factual statements 102 00:06:37,130 --> 00:06:40,634 interspersed with painful moments of silence, it was bananas. 103 00:06:42,469 --> 00:06:45,109 Check it out. Mrs. Davis from Human Resources is here. 104 00:06:45,272 --> 00:06:47,878 She's probably on the lookout for sexual harassment. 105 00:06:48,041 --> 00:06:51,955 Oh, great. There go my chances of being sexually harassed. 106 00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:56,622 I heard her husband left her for a hot, young undergrad. 107 00:06:56,783 --> 00:06:59,389 That's so much better than the old, ugly ones. 108 00:07:04,724 --> 00:07:06,670 Mr. Wolowitz, Dr. Koothrappali. 109 00:07:06,826 --> 00:07:09,397 Mrs. Davis, nice to see you. 110 00:07:09,563 --> 00:07:11,907 You know, I recently read a fascinating article 111 00:07:12,065 --> 00:07:17,071 -On infidelity among penguins. -Okay. 112 00:07:17,237 --> 00:07:19,945 So if the fact that your husband left you 113 00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:23,178 makes you feel unattractive, just remember, penguins get cheated on, 114 00:07:23,343 --> 00:07:24,515 and they're adorable. 115 00:07:37,657 --> 00:07:40,365 It was better when you couldn't talk to women. 116 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:44,669 I was thinking of going to the lecture 117 00:07:44,831 --> 00:07:46,674 on posterior cingulate cortex lesions 118 00:07:46,833 --> 00:07:48,710 in the formation of autobiographical memory. 119 00:07:48,868 --> 00:07:50,848 Oh, brain lesions are fascinating. 120 00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:53,814 Unless they're yours, than they're a drag. 121 00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:56,347 To the advancement of science. 122 00:07:56,509 --> 00:07:59,319 And to the sick and dying who make it possible. 123 00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:04,686 This is fun. We never really get to talk shop with Penny around. 124 00:08:04,851 --> 00:08:06,455 We usually just end up talking about boys. 125 00:08:06,619 --> 00:08:08,895 Which is fine, but it's nice to mix it up 126 00:08:09,055 --> 00:08:10,659 with a little intellectual conversation. 127 00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:13,304 From the two gentlemen at the bar. 128 00:08:13,460 --> 00:08:16,304 Oh, my gosh, boys bought us drinks! Boys bought us drinks! 129 00:08:17,731 --> 00:08:19,335 Thank you, thank you, thank you so much. 130 00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:23,141 -Be cool. -You be cool! 131 00:08:23,303 --> 00:08:26,512 Guys are hitting on us, and not just to get to Penny. 132 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:30,312 You're right. Thank you! 133 00:08:34,814 --> 00:08:38,762 -Oh! Bad move. -Really? Why? 134 00:08:38,918 --> 00:08:41,922 My queen can now take your rook from below. 135 00:08:42,722 --> 00:08:45,828 So that means I lose, right? It's over! 136 00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:49,234 If I make this move... 137 00:08:49,896 --> 00:08:52,502 But I won't because we're having too much fun. 138 00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:59,180 -Okay, let's take a break. -We're all out of alcohol. 139 00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:00,909 I wasn't going to get alcohol. 140 00:09:08,014 --> 00:09:11,359 Gosh, I wonder what Leonard's doing right now. I miss him so much. 141 00:09:11,518 --> 00:09:14,897 Well, if you'd like, we could call him. 142 00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:16,557 I mean that you could call him. 143 00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:20,466 As I've explained, the absence of my friends does not cause me pain. 144 00:09:20,627 --> 00:09:22,629 As rock and roll bad boy Paul Simon once said, 145 00:09:22,796 --> 00:09:26,744 "I am a rock. I am an iiiisland." 146 00:09:28,101 --> 00:09:30,411 -I'm calling him. -Oh, goodie! Put him on speakerphone! 147 00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:34,548 I (DANCE MUSIC PLAYS) I 148 00:09:39,479 --> 00:09:41,982 Excuse me, ladies, but my pants are buzzing. 149 00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:47,997 North Sea, how can I "kelp" you? 150 00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,959 -Leonard? -Penny? 151 00:09:51,124 --> 00:09:53,263 Hey, ifs Penny. Everybody say "Hi" to Penny. 152 00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:55,099 Hi, Penny! 153 00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:58,606 Ha! Sounds like you're having a good time. 154 00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:01,336 Best time of my life! 155 00:10:03,336 --> 00:10:07,307 -isn't it 5:30 in the morning there? -Is it? 156 00:10:07,474 --> 00:10:10,751 Hey, everybody, it's 5:30 in the morning! 157 00:10:13,813 --> 00:10:17,022 Okay, well, we were just calling you because we were missing you. 158 00:10:17,183 --> 00:10:19,356 -Iceberg! -Oh! Hang on. 159 00:10:19,519 --> 00:10:22,693 -Are you in danger? -No, it's a drinking game. 160 00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:25,530 Whenever we see an iceberg, we take a shot! 161 00:10:25,692 --> 00:10:29,003 Berg! Berg! Berg! Berg! Berg! Berg! 162 00:10:29,929 --> 00:10:33,138 Leonard? Leonard? 163 00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:36,938 I cannot believe we were missing that jerk. 164 00:10:37,837 --> 00:10:39,680 You were. 165 00:10:44,777 --> 00:10:46,381 So what happened? How'd it go? 166 00:10:46,546 --> 00:10:49,117 It's fine. I thanked them again and let them know we're not available. 167 00:10:49,282 --> 00:10:53,230 So I can drink this without having to give up the goodies? 168 00:10:53,386 --> 00:10:55,662 Yes, ifs all cool. 169 00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:59,736 Although, it you wanted to talk to one of them, no one would blame you. 170 00:10:59,893 --> 00:11:01,372 And why would no one blame me? 171 00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:05,741 I don't know what I'm saying. 172 00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:09,972 Well, it sounds like you're saying that I could do better than Sheldon. 173 00:11:10,136 --> 00:11:12,241 Boy, these drinks are strong! 174 00:11:13,973 --> 00:11:17,978 Oh, Mama, I'm gonna be hugging the toilet tonight! 175 00:11:20,079 --> 00:11:22,582 No, tell me. I want to know what you meant by that. 176 00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:27,091 I just meant that you're not married, 177 00:11:27,253 --> 00:11:31,258 and your boyfriends kind of... Sheldon. 178 00:11:32,425 --> 00:11:36,601 And your husband is extremely Howard. What's your point? 179 00:11:37,931 --> 00:11:41,401 Sorry, I have no point. That was a stupid thing to say. 180 00:11:41,568 --> 00:11:43,548 Can we please just go back to having a nice time? 181 00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:47,082 We could, but unfortunately my brain is lesion-free 182 00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:50,847 and I remember that rotten thing you just said about my sweet baboo. 183 00:11:51,010 --> 00:11:53,854 Come on, I apologize. Can we please just let it go? 184 00:11:55,515 --> 00:11:57,119 -Sure. -Thanks. 185 00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:01,862 Your husbands weird and his clothes are ridiculous. 186 00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:07,064 I can't believe it! All this time I've been doing nothing 187 00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:10,037 but sit around and miss that guy. And you know what the worst part is? 188 00:12:10,196 --> 00:12:15,043 That you're having to process your emotional pain without vodka? 189 00:12:19,439 --> 00:12:20,918 No. 190 00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:22,985 Yeah. 191 00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:26,553 But you know what the second-worst part is? 192 00:12:26,713 --> 00:12:30,991 -He does not miss me at all. -Allow me to comfort you. 193 00:12:31,150 --> 00:12:33,653 At least you've got your health. 194 00:12:36,823 --> 00:12:38,803 Really? That's it? That's comforting? 195 00:12:39,726 --> 00:12:41,069 Um... 196 00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:46,006 In a hundred years, you'll both be dead and it won't matter? 197 00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:50,913 No! Come on! You're supposed to say, "Of course he misses you. 198 00:12:51,070 --> 00:12:53,812 The only reason he's partying is to cover up his pain." 199 00:12:53,973 --> 00:12:56,419 Oh, no, I don't think that's true at all. 200 00:12:59,178 --> 00:13:00,418 This is ridiculous. 201 00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:02,958 Why am I upset just because he's off having a good time? 202 00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:07,690 Well, perhaps you're obsessively picturing him 203 00:13:07,854 --> 00:13:11,324 engaged in drunken coitus with another woman. 204 00:13:14,827 --> 00:13:17,364 Is that it? Did I get it right? 205 00:13:19,599 --> 00:13:22,341 Okay, that's great. You can stop trying to make me feel better now. 206 00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:24,038 Actually, I can't. 207 00:13:24,203 --> 00:13:27,548 Before Leonard left, he made me promise that I'd take care of you. 208 00:13:27,707 --> 00:13:30,153 -He did? -Yes. 209 00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:32,722 Oh! That's really sweet. 210 00:13:32,879 --> 00:13:36,725 Plus, if I do a good job, he said he'd bring me back a sailor's cap. 211 00:13:39,285 --> 00:13:41,162 Well, now I miss him even more. 212 00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:45,963 Well, if it's any consolation, I'm sure Leonard's tormented 213 00:13:46,125 --> 00:13:51,074 every moment he's away from your warm embrace and cherry lips. 214 00:13:52,899 --> 00:13:55,379 -Thanks. -Oh! Seriously? 215 00:13:59,138 --> 00:14:01,880 -Excuse me, Mrs. Davis? -What? 216 00:14:02,041 --> 00:14:04,920 I'd like to apologize for being insensitive. 217 00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:08,257 And for possibly making penguins seem like jerks, 218 00:14:08,414 --> 00:14:11,588 because 99 percent of them are stand-up guys. 219 00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:14,020 Forget about it. 220 00:14:16,255 --> 00:14:18,599 You know, you and I-- you and I have a lot in common. 221 00:14:18,758 --> 00:14:20,738 -Is that right? -Oh, yes. I-- 222 00:14:20,893 --> 00:14:23,533 I, too, am in the throes of heartbreak. 223 00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:27,272 Okay, fine, I'll tell you about it. 224 00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:32,778 Here is a hot beverage to comfort you. 225 00:14:33,740 --> 00:14:37,381 It's in a to-go cup. Make of that what you will. 226 00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:43,026 Come on. It's still early. Let's do something. 227 00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:48,566 Well, I have been toying around with an idea for 4D chess. 228 00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:51,930 -How about we just talk? -All right. 229 00:14:52,091 --> 00:14:53,570 -In 4D chess-- -No. 230 00:14:55,595 --> 00:14:57,302 Come on, let's talk about our lives. 231 00:14:57,463 --> 00:14:59,306 Tell me something about you I don't know. 232 00:15:03,136 --> 00:15:05,707 I own nine pairs of pants. 233 00:15:08,374 --> 00:15:10,081 Okay, that's a good start, 234 00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:12,314 but I was thinking maybe something a little more personal. 235 00:15:12,478 --> 00:15:14,116 -I see. -Hm. 236 00:15:15,715 --> 00:15:19,060 I own nine pairs of underpants. 237 00:15:22,155 --> 00:15:23,156 How about I go first? 238 00:15:23,322 --> 00:15:26,826 But I don't want to know how many underpants you own. 239 00:15:26,993 --> 00:15:30,133 Although, based on the floor of your bedroom, I'd say it's a thousand. 240 00:15:30,296 --> 00:15:34,335 Okay, look, here's something people do not know about me. 241 00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:36,446 When I first moved out to LA, 242 00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:39,082 I did a topless scene in a low-budget horror movie 243 00:15:39,238 --> 00:15:41,343 about a killer gorilla. 244 00:15:41,507 --> 00:15:43,111 After I did it, I felt so ashamed. 245 00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:46,189 Thankfully, that thing never came out. 246 00:15:46,345 --> 00:15:48,416 I've seen that. 247 00:15:49,582 --> 00:15:52,620 -Yeah. Serial Apeist. 248 00:15:54,353 --> 00:15:56,993 Howard found it online the day we met you. 249 00:15:57,156 --> 00:15:59,659 -Oh, God. -l mean, it was literally 250 00:15:59,826 --> 00:16:01,464 the moment you walked out the door. 251 00:16:03,996 --> 00:16:07,705 But I see the type of personal revelations you're going for. 252 00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:11,545 Okay, here's one I thought I'd take to the grave. 253 00:16:11,704 --> 00:16:12,944 Okay. 254 00:16:15,541 --> 00:16:19,489 A while back, YouTube changed its user interface 255 00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:24,685 from a star-based rating system to a thumbs-up rating system. 256 00:16:24,851 --> 00:16:29,163 I tell people I'm okay with it, but I'm really not. 257 00:16:34,527 --> 00:16:38,031 -That's your big revelation? -Yes. 258 00:16:38,664 --> 00:16:41,042 Whoo! I feel ten pounds lighter. 259 00:16:42,568 --> 00:16:45,742 Okay, you know what? I give up. I'm going to bed. 260 00:16:47,306 --> 00:16:49,308 Here's something else 261 00:16:49,475 --> 00:16:52,649 -you just hurt my feelings. -What did I do? 262 00:16:52,812 --> 00:16:56,021 I opened up and shared something deeply upsetting to me, 263 00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:58,162 and you treated it as if it were nothing. 264 00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:03,657 -I didn't think it was a big deal. -It is to me, that's the point. 265 00:17:06,659 --> 00:17:09,105 Sheldon, you are right. I'm really sorry. 266 00:17:09,262 --> 00:17:12,937 -I should've known better. -Your apology is accepted. 267 00:17:13,099 --> 00:17:16,342 Thank you. How about a hug? 268 00:17:16,502 --> 00:17:19,073 -How about a hearty handshake? -Come on. 269 00:17:23,109 --> 00:17:27,888 Now I know how you felt getting mauled by that sex-crazed gorilla. 270 00:17:44,297 --> 00:17:45,708 -Good night. -Mm-hm. 271 00:17:52,638 --> 00:17:55,710 It was rather flattering to have strangers send us drinks. 272 00:17:55,875 --> 00:17:58,048 Yeah, that felt nice. 273 00:18:00,046 --> 00:18:03,152 Maybe tomorrow morning we put on some hot pants 274 00:18:03,316 --> 00:18:05,990 and see if we can score us some free omelets. 275 00:18:08,888 --> 00:18:12,631 So, hypothetically, if we were to have gone with them, 276 00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:13,964 which one would you have picked? 277 00:18:17,296 --> 00:18:19,833 I think I would have gone with the short one with the goofy haircut. 278 00:18:19,999 --> 00:18:22,445 Oh, good, 'cause I liked the tall thin one. 279 00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:24,639 He seemed intelligent, kind of a loner, 280 00:18:24,804 --> 00:18:27,011 maybe a little sexually inexperienced, 281 00:18:27,173 --> 00:18:29,744 like I'd have to teach him a thing or two. 282 00:18:32,011 --> 00:18:35,618 Not my guy. I caught him staring at my rack. 283 00:18:36,749 --> 00:18:37,750 It'd be nice to be with a man 284 00:18:37,917 --> 00:18:40,693 who wants to know what's underneath my cardigan. 285 00:18:41,754 --> 00:18:44,325 FYI, it's another cardigan. 286 00:18:46,692 --> 00:18:49,832 Your short, sexed-up guy kind of sounds like Howard. 287 00:18:49,996 --> 00:18:53,102 Your brainy virgin kind of sounds like Sheldon. 288 00:18:54,166 --> 00:18:56,043 -Good night. -Night. 289 00:18:59,205 --> 00:19:01,981 All right, Dr. Koothrappali, it's been nice talking to you, 290 00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:03,950 but I need to go home and relieve my babysitter. 291 00:19:04,110 --> 00:19:08,149 I can relate to being a single parent. I have a dog. 292 00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:12,319 Yeah, it's exactly the same thing. Good night. 293 00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:13,862 Mrs. Davis... 294 00:19:14,020 --> 00:19:17,900 I, uh... I must confess, I came here tonight 295 00:19:18,057 --> 00:19:20,901 in a futile attempt to pick up some lonely post-doc, 296 00:19:21,060 --> 00:19:25,008 but instead I got to connect with you at a human level. 297 00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:27,735 That's a much better evening. 298 00:19:28,801 --> 00:19:30,712 You're a lovely person. 299 00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:34,750 -Are you hitting on me? -No, no, no, that would be crazy! 300 00:19:34,907 --> 00:19:36,477 I mean, if I were hitting on you, you'd know it 301 00:19:36,642 --> 00:19:39,384 'cause you'd feel uncomfortable and a little sad for me. 302 00:19:42,982 --> 00:19:44,552 You're sweet. 303 00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:49,663 -Good night, Dr. Koothrappali. -Good night. 304 00:19:51,657 --> 00:19:53,398 Looks like she accepted your apology. 305 00:19:53,559 --> 00:19:57,268 And than some. I think we had a moment. 306 00:19:57,430 --> 00:19:59,910 Please, you did not have a moment. 307 00:20:00,066 --> 00:20:01,943 Who died and made you king of moments? 308 00:20:04,603 --> 00:20:07,049 Okay, fine. Let's say there was a moment. 309 00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:09,948 -There was. -There wasn't. But... 310 00:20:10,109 --> 00:20:13,056 But even if there was, what are you gonna do about it? 311 00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:18,924 I will slowly seduce her until she falls helpless into my bed, 312 00:20:19,085 --> 00:20:20,928 hungry for the pleasure only I can give her. 313 00:20:21,087 --> 00:20:22,725 -So nothing. -No, not a thing. 314 00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:32,436 I'm so glad the police finally caught 315 00:20:32,598 --> 00:20:36,478 that psychotic genetically-engineered ape. 316 00:20:41,374 --> 00:20:44,150 That is my girlfriend! I swear to God! 317 00:20:45,044 --> 00:20:48,423 Leonard! Leonard! Leonard! Leonard!